1,000 Approaches… I Finally Got Laid from Daygame
Wow. 1000 approaches. I smile when I say that, but I think that’s about right. I swore I was going to count them, but I know now that I’m not going to. Most of the stats are buried in this blog. At about 5 miles per session, I have the worn out shoes to prove them.
5 hundred before Japan. 80 daygame sets in Shibuya. Another 100+ when I got back. A year of mental instability and a LTR that took me offline for a time. My slow recovery. Then 100 more girls in April, 100 in June, 100 in July. Slowing down, retooling, and a few dozen in August… but that’s when I met her. Last night… sex with a girl I met on the street. Cold-approach love. She was 17 years younger than me, and very cute by my standards.
I would feel more hang-dog than I do now about those stats… except the good man Nick Krauser is very candid about his stats. And I read his book Balls Deep (along with everything else he’s ever written), and I think he was 1200 girls “deep” after his divorce before a Thai girl popped his street game cherry. Or was it the black girl on NYE?? His daygame results opened up quite a bit after that, as we know. I am hoping mine will as well.
For now… a long, deep, respectful bow to the master Nick Krauser and his many thoughtful lessons and examples. Thank you, man. For all of us. But mostly for me. What a thing to teach.
And thank you Yohami. A more recent teacher. And a relentless one. I’m not sure you’ll like this story — I know sex with a girl doesn’t prove I’m on the path — but I appreciate your tutelage. Your lessons have been a part of anything I’ve done lately, this one included.
Anyway, can you imagine telling a newbie he might need 1000 cold approaches before he scored his first street-game lay? And the first 100 will all be pure heart attack, every time? Ready to sign up for that? With Yohami in his ear telling him he was wasting his time (and Yohami is right about so much). The poor bastard. Of course he wouldn’t want on that ride. It was much more fun than it sounds, though. Almost everyday out there was a good day, made me feel proud. Brought me in contact with… literally 1000 women I was attracted to. It only took my wing maybe 100 girls to get laid, twice (Go Hurricane!)… not everyone has to do it “the hard way.”
I got a lot of action from the skills I learned in daygame before I ever got laid. I had been in game for years… but couldn’t really number close effectively, I sucked at it. The sheer volume of daygame got me over that quick (with many more opportunities than I was getting at night game or hustling girls in cafes), and I ported that skill to other game, and that got me dates, makeouts, and lays in the rest of my life.
The girl I followed down the stairs out of a restaurant in Japan was not what I’d call daygame, but it started by chasing a girl down, direct approach, and ended w/ a SDL a few hours later. The girl I made out with at Burning Man last week was basically a daygame approach… but it was after midnight and I was slightly drunk. I don’t think I ever blogged about the sex I had with the painter, which wasn’t good, but was still fun, and was fueled by confidence from daygame. My swagger with the Tokyo Queen was fueled, in part, by the dates and makeouts I was getting from daygame when I started dating her. My stats have not been impressive, but I still racked up dates w/ a dozen girls, practicing logistics, making out and escalating. Those skills are noticeably better now. I know my city better now. I own all that.
So this is how the night went… it was our 3rd date:
NASH: Hey Taiwanese Girl. For tonight, come meet me in my neighborhood. Maybe take the train to my station. I live two blocks from there.
HER: Ok
She is the master of super brief text game. Over 1/2 her texts are just “Yep.” I could learn from her in that way.
She looked cute. Sneakers, every time I see her, she’s in sneakers. No socks, and creamy skin up to a leather skirt. Black shirt, a bit open in the back. Fancy Adidas (All-Day-I-Dream-About-Sex) track jacket. And those big, dark eyes. Very wide-set, deep, lovely eyes.
I had her meet me at my place… to get her comfortable with my house so it would be easier to get her back there later… one of the first logistical lessons that game taught me, so long ago. We all know that one. I also knew she liked cats… and mine are an adorable tag-team, and I figured they would add to the comfort and fun. They were charming and on point, and she loved them. She is very into animals. So am I.
Before we left, I said, “Oh, I want something from you,” and pulled her in for a kiss. She was pliable and lovely.
From my house we took a car to a restaurant I love. I slipped a hand into hers as we waited. I had them seat us side by side, like I always do on dates. The place was funky and stylish. The food was delicious.
At one point during dinner I asked what part of her body she liked best, she said her eyes… that’s kind of cheating, but she does have nice eyes. I took it further, asked what color her nipples were – pink or purple? She acted a little shocked and argued with me that they were neither. I told her most girls had either pink or purple. She said, maybe purple, if she was cold? I then asked my trademark question about how she likes to come. And the shock was not an act this time. She stared at me. I held her gaze, comfortably. Full vacuum. She refused to answer and blushed. I teased her, and then changed the subject. I ask that question all the time. Usually on first dates, not on the 3rd. She’s the only girl that has not given me an answer.
I took her next door to this place that was supposed to have classical music… but we were there early, and it was Afro-Caribbean music, loud and frenetic. I liked it, and lead her to a place where we could stand. It was too much for her. 1 song later she tugged on my hand and we left. She said she was tired. I asked if she wanted to come back to my house for some of the tea she and I bought on our last date. She liked that idea.
Cats. Tea. I kissed her. She asked if I wanted to sit down. I am not particularly slick about transitioning from my kitchen (where I hang out in my house) to my bedroom. In this case, her comment got me to take her to the couch. She cuddled in this blanket I hate, that I inherited from my ex (the one who’s boobs I made out with last month). That blanket is lame, but all girls love it. I have a blanket I like much better, “the love blanket,” which all girls hate. Girls make no sense.
At one point she asked suddenly how old I was. “Much older than you,” I said, “at least 10 years.” She asked if I was in my forties? “Yes. And you?” 26, she said. That’s what I thought. There was a part of me that thought she’d freeze up when she knew how old I was. There was acknowledgment, but she didn’t seem to flinch at all.
We made out. I was pinning her arms back, and she was telling me I was going too fast, and she just wanted to cuddle. She would kiss me, but was mostly silent. I could get occasional moans out of her… she likes having her neck bitten.
She was very floppy, but gave me little feedback. Those little moans were an occasional trail of breadcrumbs… I tried to follow them. Hands on her neck… on her ass… looking for what she responds to.
I asked my question again, about how she likes to come. And she said “maybe, cock,” she seemed excited for a minute, and pulled me in as she said it. Not fingers, she said. Mouth sometimes…
I told her I wanted to take her clothes off. She told me, “just cuddle,” in her adorable accent, while she smiled. I told her I was going to get her naked, but not yet. Eventually I told her I was taking her to my bedroom. And off we went.
Making out, clothes on. Then, her bra was unsnapped. Then that shirt. Her nipples were surprisingly big, and delicious… and purple indeed. Big eyes, white skin, purple nipples, and black hair against the white sheets. Red glow from the colored bulbs that frame my windows to the street.
I asked if her skirt had a zipper, and she said it did. I found it, that skirt came off. Buttery skin and a surprisingly nice, full little ass.
And then… she fell asleep. Like I said, she was relatively passive, and quiet, and I could just explore her, but she didn’t participate much. Not full “starfish,” but a curled up version of that. She would go along with just about anything I wanted to do, but I had to physically move her body into position each time. She was comfortable, not scared like I thought she might be, but she was quiet a lot as a I escalated. As she passed out, I was surprised. I changed my clothes. I laid there for a while thinking my game truly sucked. I wasn’t that horny, but I was disappointed. I thought I had missed the window and that she’d think I was a child for not making it happen and I wouldn’t get a second chance. It was still a good experience, but I wanted more from it.
She woke up in the middle of the night, and seemed wide awake for a time. We made out some more. I took her panties off, finally. It was momentarily hot between us again, maybe more than before, but still not what I’d call passionate. I pushed things along a bit more, hand working between her legs, and it felt forced and no moans. More quiet from her. Stillness. She went a-sexual on me, curled up again, and we slept some more.
It was morning. We had slept maybe 10 hours, which is remarkable for a first time sleep over. I never really sleep in situations like that… but with her, we did. Maybe she was genuinely tired. She told me later she only slept 3 hours the night before.
I got up, got some water, and crawled up against her ass. She stirred some more. I sucked her ear, and she rolled closer to me, and onto her belly, head facing away, hip against my stomach. I climbed on top of her, spread her legs, scissored a leg in-between her thighs and got a good look at her ass in the morning light. I got up on her, started to get myself going, little moans… I was turned on. I stood up, grabbed a condom. Made a show of putting it on so it was clear what I was up to. I almost had to force it in… she was so ridiculously tight. More little moans.
The sex… was brief and selfish. No pride in that. But she felt amazing. I came and held her, and kissed her after, and curled up with her, me still inside her. Her lips were puffy and full and pouty, purple, like those nipples. Her big eyes were shiny. She was smiling and happy. Coy. She was milking the cuteness. I told her so. She was having a good morning.
One of the many great things about my house is that there is a coffee place about 75 yards from my front door. I brought back a double latte in a medium cup and a large genmaicha for myself. She was curled up, dark locks spilling on the pillows, peeking at me over the covers.
We sipped in bed, ate strawberries and played with my cats. She loves them.
Conversation was easy, but a bit boring. She’s a wonderful girl, and an excellent experience for this old, white beast, but I know I wouldn’t see her often if she was staying in the US… which she is not. She would be very fun to date along with some other women, but this won’t last long.
As it is… she has less than two weeks left. I have no doubt we’ll see each other again before she goes. I’ll set up the next date some time today.
There it is. It’s not glamorous or dressed up, but it’s real. The notch hyena gets another bite. I get, as the Brit’s from RSG would say… another flag.
To celebrate… I am going to go through my phone and delete dozens of dead numbers. A purge of junk to celebrate losing my virginity (again).
I think of all the times I met a girl on the street, thinking she might be the one that I’d sleep with. The Japanese dentist visiting for the year. The tall Russian-Asian girl eating the banana as I opened her. The little Taiwanese girl I took for tea. The intern from Mexico City. Of course, the girl I overgamed in July. The Venezuelan girl that kissed my cheek as we ended the set. The Brazilian woman that was here, travelling alone. Ha. Nope. It was this one.
To you, you beautiful young thing… thank you for your tender inspiration, your mouth, your clever perspective, and your soft flesh. You are another “first” for an old vampire and you were delicious. I look forward to tasting you again.
Viva daygame. You finally provide. And you are definitely making me a better man. And the curse of the summer is broken… at last.
One thousand approaches? My God, that is too much, man. For me it was between sixty and one hundred. I made notes of them all but lost them, but it was definitely less than a hundred. And less than one hundred and fifty approaches led to sex with four girls, though with one of them it was half a year later as she had a boyfriend the first time I talked to her, which she didn’t tell me about. One of the other girls also had a boyfriend, a good-for-nothing who borrowed money from her that he never paid back. But I digress.
In all four cases they were Asian foreign students, three of them PhDs. I have had more success with cold approaches, but in almost every case they were Asian students, and one from Central America. Foreigners, as in your case and Krauser’s case. And the “PUA gurus” all go to South America, Eastern Europe or South-East Asia, where they can find women in poor countries who want to sleep with an exotic Westerner, in the hope of getting something more out of it. This should tell us something: Cold approaches work very, very badly in a normal setting with your own people.
>> One thousand approaches? My God, that is too much, man.
I know. I hear you.
I am mostly approaching girls 15-20 years younger than me. Almost always Asian girls (because I love Asian girls). There’s some friction right there.
I’m also not that good. Obviously. I’m not “alpha” as Yohami would have me be. I am “fighting a monster that isn’t there,” in terms of my own entitlement, holding myself back, as well… that’s some of it. I think this will pass. That’s not my identity… just a hurdle I have to get through.
Right before I went LTR I was on fire… sexing many women in my life, dating more, and daygame was about to crack, but I backed off.
More excuses like that.
My wing had stats like yours. 2 lays in the first 100 sets.
For me… I don’t expect it will take another 1000 to get my next lay. I think it’s like solving a Rubics cude… easier every time. And like I said, this work pays dividends in other areas of my life with girls.
I’d do it all again. It was pretty fun, most of the time.
>> This should tell us something: Cold approaches work very, very badly in a normal setting with your own people.
Yes… but opposed to what? I was in real contact with more attractive women, real exchanges, than anything else I’ve ever done. Quality of girls much higher than online… or in bars for that matter.
As for it not working… let’s segment: You have my sad story. But then you have guys with better game. RSD Julien can certainly convert from cold approach. Janka… 100s of girls from col approach during the day. Many men can do this. My story is no indication of what other men can do… or even what I am capable of.
And I think you’re right about foreign girls in this city (which I prefer, anyway), or taking my show to some other country (Japan, wow, Japan), but given the options here in the city, I still think daygame has tremendous potential.
Riv and I have been talking about not wanting to “jinx” anything, but I think my game will show much more fruit this Fall. *knock on wood* I think that’ll prove out. We’ll see.
“Cold approaches work very, very badly”
Cold approach is bad for learning, period. Yours and everone elses thousands of approaches are proof enough, but if you take a look at the basics you’ll see why.
You have to convey you are a high value man in order for a girl to be attracted to you.
But the reason why you’re doing cold approaches is because you’re a low value man (you’re scarce, girls dont want to fuck you, etc).
You need to learn how to BE a high value man, and learn how to communicate it, and be at ease with people, and display swagger and humor and be relaxed while at it. Attempting to learn that through cold approach and getting rejected is like trying to learn to be funny by jumping on a state where everyone is booing you. It’s not just “hard”, it’s dumb and a waste of your time.
There are better ways to pick up the skills and ingrain the things you need, and become a man of value, so you then can communicate all that in a short interaction and “cold approach”.
If you’re not a high value man, when you approach you get rejected in half a second and no girl will tell you what you did wrong nor how to improve. So all you have is your own mind and your recollections – but you DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, you have no framework to compare against, so that’s how you burn thousands of approaches and are still stuck in the same place.
All that effort well invested will get you more far if you play it smarter. If you put the focus on transforming yourself, not in “opening girls” while remaining at the same value.
To add to that – if you replace the idea of “cold approach” to “I talk to everyone that I find attractive / interesting” and you do that a lot, WHILE you’re increasing your value as a man, that alone will work wonders in getting laid super fast. Likely you will do more “approaches” and lose all the fear.
I stopped feeling fear about a couple months into it when I switched from PUA to Player, following the same advise Im giving you.
“One thousand approaches? My God, that is too much, man. ”
tenet sounds like one of those guys who needs to give “advice” not really to help you, but to prop up his own weak ego.
First: congrats.
Second: don’t delete all these numbers. Before you do so, since you consider them dead, do something risky – send very sexual innuendo. Maybe some of them will respond and you’ll learn something.
Third: Learn not to say what you are going to do and what you want to do, instead, do these things. If you really feel the need to say “I want to get you naked”, flip it and turn it into a commad: “take your clothes off’. The reason is you’re operating under the wrong frame when you say that you want things that you could have just make happen.
Fourth: fuck the shit out of her. :-)
1. Thanks, Yohami.
2. Okay… that makes sense. It’ll be fun.
3. I think saying what I’m about to do is fine… asking would be lame, but saying what I’m doing is fine. Commands are better, I agree. I want to get better at commands… I use them a lot when I want to set a frame already.
4. !!!
“3. I think saying what I’m about to do is fine”
It’s not, but dont take my word for it. Try doing instead of talking about it, and compare.
>>Second: don’t delete all these numbers. Before you do so, since you consider them dead, do something risky – send very sexual innuendo. Maybe some of them will respond and you’ll learn something.
I am just coming to this now, very late in the game… I have tried things like that… a year after you wrote this I wrote https://theredquest.wordpress.com/2017/06/01/snapchat-in-game-wish-this-was-you/. It’s a hail mary to smoke out the horny girls… over time I have become more fond of some divisive moves. I don’t even know how long ago I first started doing them, somewhat unconsciously for a long time.
I do think this approach works best if the girls are disconnected from your social circle/social world… it’s a way to get a “creep” rep if it’s done poorly or to girls who are overly connected to you.
hell yeah, baby. congratulations!
gonna read the post now.
https://twitter.com/alpharivelino/status/773961981179097088
Ha! I’m a mix of proud and embarrassed.
Thanks, Riv.
beautiful story man. you are a great writer and a true romantic. my kind of man.
white sheets, baby.
white sheets.
and dark nipples. oh yeah.
Yeah… amazing nipples, man. I don’t really care about boobs (I lost my virginity to a girl w/ “Double D’s,” and I’ve never cared about big boobs since her)… but I love nipples. Her’s are full, dark, and amazing. She has a great body, perfect skin, very attractive to this man.
nash, did you read this, it is yohami’s anti-daygame manifesto.
https://rivsdiary.wordpress.com/2016/04/09/put-energy-in-rising-up-not-in-begging/
Plus the comments. That Yohami guy is the shit.
Nash, responding your message at Riv’s here.
“50% (I bet) was because I had some action recently”
You got it. Now double check everything I’ve been telling you, including that this switch into alpha is FAST if you do what matters, and that repeating a frame creates more of it.
I’ts not that you felt entitled – it’s what’s behind it. You fucked, so your biochemistry changed, your beliefs changed (at least momentarily), you just had a woman, so you will treat every other woman you meet with some of how you just treated the woman you fucked, it carries on with you in a million micro expressions, body posture, tonality, demeanor, etc. For all intents and purposes, you were more congruent with a guy who fucks and women like, than you were before. In response, women like you more.
If you would be fucking more women, then that thing would detonate.
When this really clicked in me was the morning after my first threesome – I was still somewhat drunk, with a headache, feeling like shit, walking the street to get some cigs – in a distance of about four blocks I had over ten girls look at me and want to jump on me, from women driving, girls passing by, girls on windows, the girl at the kiosk selling me the stuff, college girls passing by, I was like “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?”. I went out that night and girls were touching me and introducing themselves. A couple of days later it had wore off.
So process this.
Doing “alpha male things” which include fucking women, give YOU the feeling and experience of an alpha, and also make women, and men and everyone, respond to YOU like you’re the alpha, which makes YOU be more of it.
If you know what you are doing. All it takes is that you know what you are doing and where you’re going.
So yes, you could be banging girls left and right and living the life of an alpha, fulltime, in weeks. It means you would have to clear your life so you can do a couple of alpha things, stop anything that is not alpha, and do more of the alpha and pick up the retro-feed wave and you’d climb it and build on top. Then you would lose and and crash. Then you would do it again. The more time you spend as an alpha, the more your eyes get in tune to it, and your compass, your gut, starts telling you what to do to keep it and make it stronger.
Now compare that against daygame. It’s not that meeting girls during day is wrong. It’s that your baseline experience is being rejected by women, which goes in total opposite direction of the cycle I described above, and also doesnt give you enough data on how to improve things when you fail, because you are too far from the action.
I’ll tackle more.
“but you are so black/white about stuff that has more nuance.”
You felt it. It was brief, but you saw how the new girl reacted. Now imagine that every girl you meet not just reacts but is actively trying to find more about you and offering you her facebook.
The reality out there is more black and white than you’re making it to be. What you know so far are just shades of rejection. Open the door so you can experience the light of acceptance and women competing for you. That’s the spectrum missing. You dont have all the data, so you think Im the one making it more exaggerated than it is. I am not. Your sample is too small, too limited.
“I don’t think it’s ONLY linear like this, man.”
But you’re conceding my point here:
“I can feel a real different in my swagger. I am getting much better responses from women all over…”
It’s first the swagger, then the results from the girls.
It’s the who, not the what. Check my older comments.
“I did build this feeling, and it is having an effect on my game.”
It’s not the game. Your value increased. It actually makes you require less “game”.
“1. Leader of men, environmental, Beiber game.
is harder to build short term. You’re not promising short term, I get this is real, but it’s harder to do.”
It’s not harder to do. Get a job as a bouncer in a hotel. Work for free guiding tourists. Go to a camp and volunteer as a community organizer. Or just make it a point to yourself that in every interaction that you do, you are the commanding force and the leader.
Or make it real – figure your life and remove the obstacles that are preventing you from leading your life to where you want it. That’s where it starts and ultimately where it ends.
“2. Entitlement, in general”
I rarely use that word, you’re the one talking about entitlement!
“All of sudden, being successful feels normal.”
Great. So the goal is that success is normal, being with hot women is normal, having everyone sucking up to you is normal, having your needs met first is normal, etc. So how do you develop a life where all of that is normal, always?
“you don’t recognize that a dude that isn’t “alpha” can “level up,” build on his own success, that he CAN, in fact, create what feels like abundance, and that that itself will kick him into the next gear.”
It’s not that I dont recognize it – it’s that its a fucked up bad way to go about it, and the proof is that it took you 1000 approaches and years to get laid once. I dont mean to put you down with that statement, for all intent and purposes: congratulations for getting something out of all the work you put into it. But still it’s what, years chasing pussy and getting nothing. Chasing pussy and getting nothing is the OPPOSITE of what you should and could be doing, and the fact that you doubled down instead of changing lanes shows somewhere there’s something to fix, or you wouldnt have thought it was a good idea.
Again you could be banging girls left and right in a few weeks, if you find a way to make your life make you more alpha. Approaching girls and getting rejected will drain the energy you have now, fast.
How can you keep it and detonate it?
Win more.
How to win more?
Do you know?
FIx for one idea above:
It’s not that I dont recognize it – it’s that [ Daygame, Pickup, PUA ] a fucked up bad way to go about it.
The reason is that every pickup is a question: do you like me? That’s all it is.
In night game, the girls are out there actively looking for a man to fuck, and sometimes drunk, and entertaining many men at the same time, and having the balls to go talk to them automatically gets you above the rest. Then you’ll fail a lot, but you are going to be there, and you’ll see the kind of men who get approved, and men with good game, or good vibe, so you’ll be able to compare against them and have a model, a role to emulate – you will fail but you will also see success, the two ends give you a spectrum.
In daygame, if the girl says no thank you you walk out and that’s it. There’s nothing to compare against but your imagination and your recollection of things, which is probably wrong (because otherwise you’d master it fast), and no one to emulate and no external success to learn from. On top, the girls are not actively looking for a man, are not pre-horny, etc, they are not in mating mode.
So if you were attractive and had game, doing pickup, asking “do you like me” would work night and day, it doesnt matter, the answer will be yes.
If you are not attractive and dont have good game, then you ask “do you like me” and the answer will be NO so much, that your inner value will even go lower. And what did you learn from it? who did THAT GIRL you just talked to, said yes to? what DID SHE LIKE? WHAT WOULD SHE HAD SAID YES TO? if you dont have that data, how do you improve? well you dont, so you do it 999 more times.
It’s the facepalm approach.
So it’s not that I dont see that a man can build and win. It’s that the system you decided to go for doesnt let YOU build and win.
But let’s say you love daygame and hate night game. Ok great.
Figure out something more in your life where you can alpha up and be in command of people. When you’re high from that feeling, also talk to girls.
Check my other comments. I repeat the same stuff so often.
Addon to this:
“you don’t recognize that a dude that isn’t “alpha” can “level up,” build on his own success, that he CAN, in fact, create what feels like abundance, and that that itself will kick him into the next gear.”
That’s actually incorrect. All my advice is for the guy that isnt alpha, telling him how to level up, how to build on his own success, and how to create a life of abundance.
Thanks again, Yohami. I continue to listen.
>> volunteer as a community organizer
I was at this event today w/ my cousin. The guy that introduced the event, wasn’t classically attractive, but he was commanding the crowd, he had authority, he was the highest rung on the ladder, he was deeply connected. I bet his state was high. If he wanted to run game, I bet he’d kill it. I was thinking of you as I watched him.
Organizer. I am really thinking about this. I know you’re right, but I have a profitable job… which doesn’t get me laid, no audience. I have to find a way to lead, in addition to my job. I am thinking about trying to host some parties… organizer. I get it. I can see several examples in my life. This is a good challenge.
>> Figure out something more in your life where you can alpha up and be in command of people. When you’re high from that feeling, also talk to girls.
I don’t do client presentations much anymore… almost all my clients are “remote.” But when I did these presos, in person, with a room full of marketing execs listening to me… I would always be “high” afterwards. And I could feel the swagger.
>> It’s first the swagger, then the results from the girls.
I get it man. Yes, you are right. I will tell you… sometimes the swagger is 1 min into an approach, even if I didn’t have it as I opened. Open, something in the interaction triggers a reference experience, and my swagger kicks in, I hit familiar ground, and she responds.
Yes, it’s swagger first, but I don’t always wait for the swagger… sometimes I have to force it, give it a chance to happen.
>> it took you 1000 approaches and years to get laid once.
Dude… I got laid more often, and with more women, once I started daygame, than any time in my life. Part of that, was “leveling up” in general. Getting older/better. A lot was daygame. I say all this in my post… the experience of daygame put juice in all my other interactions. I got laid hundreds of times in those 1000 approaches. With about 5 different girls. Most were my LTR, but I didn’t go years and get laid once. Ha. It just took a long time to get daygame to yield fruit… but I had “swagger” from daygame that was creeping into the rest of my life.
There were other lays that “almost” happened, but I wasn’t quite there to take them. If I can continue to ramp up… I think I can prove all this to MYSELF in the next few months. We’ll see.
>> every pickup is a question: do you like me
This is a great point. You’re right.
AND… every pickup would loosen me up. It would get easier and easier to approach, and that would juice the “flirting” I would do in line at the market, at the cafe, etc. It built entitlement.
AND… I don’t know if you will believe this… but I feel GREAT after a session of daygame. You’re totally right, that if it’s ALL rejection, I lose state. I “learn the wrong things.” But that is rarely, rarely the case. I usually feel proud. I usually get validation… some from the girls, and some from ME… I faced something I didn’t want to face, I did what men cannot do, many girls rewarded me for that. Proud.
I think you are absolutely right about Beiber/Leader/Organizer game. I’m working on that. That’s a real challenge… to “build myself up” so girls choose me.
I will play with multiple paths.
Awesome
“I am thinking about trying to host some parties”
Here are a few videos from a single month (I was going to document more, but had better things to do)
Party at home to celebrate that I moved to a nice apartment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OuQM0ADeDg
Singing in a group
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfUwFqNKXiw
Another party to “play board games”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL-Anc_2cQI
A couple of years earlier, in my previous “player” run, same, doing small gatherings
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70lH_O0n-4Y
Playing with a band
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFrLYIoHrcU
More stuff at home
https://www.flickr.com/photos/33773394@N00/3735886760/in/photolist-6G4n6g-53vnYQ-7GtQRa-6G8oYG-7GxZL1-6G8oBb-79ybTi-53vnYu-7Gy1vj-c9HCHo-79ydQp-79ycH4-79C4jb-7bHNbd-53vnYJ-7bE8iZ-6G4iXz-7GxZ13-53r2X2-53r2Wz-7bHZfs-6G4kjr-7bDXPD-7bJ2V3-7GtPmx-79C4vJ-7Gy2hL-79ye4Z-79C3xY-79C3tf-79C3oU-53r2WV-7bHUio-53vnYC-79C3iA-79ydKH-79ycbt-79ybaK-7bEcKF-7aqstj-7bDXt6-79C4rf-7bJ3Em-7bE76z-7bHNRL-7bJ1dd-a41jsN-7wAbiL-7wAhVG-7wwn38
My apartment was small, but modern young and I made it special
https://www.flickr.com/photos/santosdibujos/4284304182/in/photolist-53vnYu-7Gy1vj-c9HCHo-79ydQp-79ycH4-79C4jb-7bHNbd-53vnYJ-7bE8iZ-6G4iXz-7GxZ13-53r2X2-53r2Wz-7bHZfs-6G4kjr-7bDXPD-7bJ2V3-7GtPmx-79C4vJ-7Gy2hL-79ye4Z-79C3xY-79C3tf-79C3oU-53r2WV-7bHUio-53vnYC-79C3iA-79ydKH-79ycbt-79ybaK-7bEcKF-7aqstj-7bDXt6-79C4rf-7bJ3Em-7bE76z-7bHNRL-7bJ1dd-a41jsN-7wAbiL-7wAhVG-7wwn38-7wwtRM-7wAi1d-7wwnac-7wAbnu-6ZrkFy-7wAbbs-6ZnsqZ
So I did a bunch of things – In every one of them I was the top guy.
Every time I wanted to do something – like watch a movie, I’d organize a little group to go see it, then hit a bar, then do something crazy. Leading.
I switched from “chasing girls” to building a life that girls wanted to jump aboard. While I was still talking to girls I liked if I saw them somewhere. “Hey hi” and some teasing, like what you see Max doing in the mall video, or most of RSD guys lately.
The point of disconnect from me is that I’ve making money as a freelance programmer – so all the lifestyle is something that I pay for, by making money somewhere else. So I have to put a lot of work somewhere, to spend the money in something completely different. What Im doing now is building products and making the lifestyle the money fountain (Im a creator, musician, etc) so I can be more congruent and perfect that cycle. Which is what Im advising everyone else.
>>I took it further, asked what color her nipples were – pink or purple? She acted a little shocked and argued with me that they were neither. I told her most girls had either pink or purple. She said, maybe purple, if she was cold? I then asked my trademark question about how she likes to come. And the shock was not an act this time. She stared at me. I held her gaze, comfortably. Full vacuum. She refused to answer and blushed. I teased her, and then changed the subject. I ask that question all the time. Usually on first dates, not on the 3rd. She’s the only girl that has not given me an answer.
My favorite section. A good way to set frame. I wonder how many girls have excused themselves rapidly at end of date after this, over time. Or maybe it’s sufficiently well calibrated that it’s not a problem.