A Date with an “8” | Yohami vs The Virgins
I haven’t written a post like this in a long time. A “first date” post that has as many questions as answers. Here I am, years deeper into Game, in the same or similar scenarios. Am I a fool? Am I showing any skill in how I read female psychology? Have I learned anything in all these days of game?
I met her last week. I was sitting in a familiar cafe I call the “Fish Bowl,” working, and occasionally letting my subconscious get drawn through the full length windows to some girl walking by. I wasn’t trying to Game, but I do love a great view…
And there she was.
Smokey Eyes, a lot like this ^ actually.
DAYGAME: A genuine "8"
She is about 5'3", but more like 5'7" on the 4" heels of her black boots. Heavy, straight, long black hair. Black mask. All black clothes… Louis V bag.
Hips like bags of sand. Cleavage like a dangerous mountain road.
But again: It was her WALK…
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) May 27, 2021
I like beautiful, sexy girls. And sometimes, I toss my swagger into the mix with some absolute stunners. But mostly… I date 6s and 7s. If a man has fucked a lot of girls (and I have), he has dated a lot of 6s and 7s too. It is a truism of Game.
On the other end of the scale, a guy might say “she is out of my league.” And many times he is right. I don’t really get approach anxiety (anymore), I can approach any girl I want to, but… I am also aware of the obvious sexual market value “mismatches,” where certain approaches just will not “stick.” Even with great Game and a solid frame sometimes my SMV is just not high enough – versus her other choices. I am cool with that.
With this particular girl… she was shockingly hot. A head-turner. I recognized her appeal, her beauty, the depth of her sexuality. I got it. And…
She didn’t feel like “my kind of girl.”
This idea of “Who are ‘My Girls'” comes to me from the Ars Amorata guys, Zan and Hans Comyn.
“When you’re in the initial stage, you say – that girl is nice, and that girl is nice – and they all look nice to you, right? And you will think, that could be my girl, that could be my girl…
“With time, as you create experiences in the land of women, as you put your invitations out there, as you see the ones that accept and not, you will start to understand which are your girls.”
— Hans Comyn
“Which are your girls.” Great concept. Some girls aren’t for you. But some girls are. Do you know which girls are “your girls?” I do. I date them all the time.
I know what “my girls” are.
Miss Words… this epic girl I am dating now… she “my girl.” She was “my girl” when I saw her for the first time in her dress with the apples on it. She was “my girl” when she invited me to an art gallery for our first date. She was “my girl” with each strange set of words we shared that led to date number two, and then, a date later that turned into her spending the night, where we weren’t supposed to take off her clothes, but we did, and +1, and now, seven months later, she is in that bed all the time, and I drew a picture of her on Saturday morning, naked, wrapped in a sheet, and we both love it, and… she is my girl.
But this 8 that walked by?
Her walk was explicitly sexual. These “overtly sexy” kinds of girl are not my girls. 6, or 8, or “11,” doesn’t matter. The flavor of the display she was putting on… is not my usual type. And 1000s of approaches later, I know she is not the type that is usually attracted to me either.
So… when this “racecar” vroomed by the fishbowl… I was detached. Yes she was beautiful. And even with a deep, poetic appreciation… she felt like “somebody else’s girl.”
I had been siting for a while and thought, Time to stretch, get up, take a leak. And hey, follow that girl just to enjoy “beauty in motion.” I was really like that.
I left my things and stepped in behind the outrageous stride of this shocking girl to watch her as she moved.
It was that walk that turned my interest from a cool “professional” appreciation of beauty into an urge to engage her. Would I get blown out? Yeah. Probably. This girl was singing with sexuality, a very high-value package, and much-much younger than me. But as a player, it was time to take my shot.
I approached her, and said:
NASH: Hey… I saw you walking by and you have an incredible walk
HER: I know
Look at that.
NASH: How do you know?
HER: People tell me
This is her. It’s very “her.” This cold, confident, powerful little “push” in how she receives you. This is the “surface” of her.
And yeah, true, her walk is wild. With her “hips like bags of sand.” The tall heels of her boots. Her hip-to-waist ratio is hypnotic.
I was undaunted:
NASH: Yeah, okay
NASH: And the thing I would say about it is…
NASH: It is… as if… your legs… are made… of… water
Game on. I was dragging it out. I felt her push, her coldness, her “bitchy hot girl” routine, and I was battling back with tension, and “yeah, yeah, so anyway” seduction. I was smiling. I was enjoying her. I really was.
And the set was hot. Her bitchy look and the toss of her head made me think she was going to shake me off, but she stopped. And she stepped into me. Very close. And I liked it.
That is how it started.
It is a coincidence, but I have been emailing Yohami this week. Yohami is an A+ genius about reading between the lines in situations like this, so I have been wondering what he might say. I hadn’t been on a date with her yet. I had a lot of questions. As we exchanged messages I said, Okay, here is a story for you, and I sent this:
MY EMAIL TO YOHAMI:
This girl was an “8.” 24. Long black hair to her waist. A+ body. Incredible walk… shocking.
She doesn’t work or go to school. I said, You must be bored. She said, “I am.” I said, Well… you obviously don’t read (tease). She said, “I do” (qualifying). I said, what are you reading right now? She looked a little nervous and then she said, “A book about the psychology of creativity.” That was a good answer.
Took her number, on her FLIP PHONE. She said her parents don’t want her to have a smartphone. I said, Your parents pay your bills? She said, “Yeah.” I said, Do you like them? She said, “No.” It was typical ‘bratty teenager’ stuff.
We have messaged a bunch since Thu night when I met her. She responds quickly. I talk more than she does, but I always do… that is my style. I don’t feel any games over text.
When I said, Tell me when you’re free and I’ll make a plan for us, she said, “I am free any night.”
Hmmmm. An “8,” that responds easily, and is “free any night.” That is a very unusual.
I am telling you about her because: There is some part to this story that I haven’t figured out yet.
Part of me thinks she is not 24… that she lied, she’s younger. Maybe much younger? Her being “18” would explain some of the mystery, but 24 seems about right, though.
I asked if she was a “good girl or a bad girl” and she said “both” with some attitude. That felt real. She believes that. On TEXT, she said she wants to get married. She felt serious and real then also. I said, Really, that isn’t what a bad girl would say. She said, “I told you I am both.”
So what is the “bad part?” Drugs? I don’t think so. Sex… yeah, maybe. It is possible she is a sex worker, but I doubt it. She was showing very little skin when we met. No weird piercings. No died hair. Her makeup was modest. Her eyes aren’t “dead.” She doesn’t seem damaged. She is sexy, but mostly it shows in her walk… not in her style (although, there was some real cleavage when I picked her up).
I do not feel hustled at all.
I do think I am scoring “foreigner” points (she doesn’t like Japan). I have been solid with her. She might like what she sees…
But… something is missing. We’ll see.
Date is tomorrow. I am going to meet her for coffee. We’ll talk and see how that goes.
I am curious to see if I can discover the “missing thing” about this girl.
Okay, so that was last night. And today, I had a date with her. So… did I discover the mystery? Did I figure it out?
Well, I can’t be sure, but here is how it went:
As she was coming to meet me I messaged her:
NASH: Hey, do you know XYZ?
NASH: 2nd floor, meet me at this cafe
HER: Do I have to?
Look at that ^.
Is that “no?” No, it isn’t. She is not saying “no.” But she is not saying “yes,” either. So what is that?
That is a little girl. That is a “teenager” being difficult.
I doubled down.
NASH: It is a place for us to talk
It felt right. Difficult teenagers secretly want boundaries. So I gave her one. And she didn’t reply, but she showed up a few minutes later. Looking… incredible.
She is striking. And bold. The way she stepped into my space on the pickup, in all her many confident responses to my Game, and yet… beneath the incredible sexuality she feels “young.”
Imagine a picture of a “model” or whatever. Super hot. And another pic of her. Devastatingly hot. But in the space between the pics, there is an “off camera” shot of her goofing off. Or “breaking character” on this “hot bitch” thing she does so well. Even on the pickup, I saw flashes of that.
One of the first things I asked her tonight was: Are you really 24? You could be much younger, I said. “Yes.” Okay. I didn’t feel any games. She could be “16,” but I don’t think so. I think 24 is real.
Over and over on the date I would see her attitude flaring in her smoky eyes. And then, little “cracks” in the façade. Little, very real, “teenage” smiles, cracking through her “I know that you know that I am hot” veneer.
I had a great time on the date and I liked her. But the biggest “red flag” I saw in her was:
She doesn’t have any friends. None. Or so she says. Why? Because she doesn’t go out, she says.
Bigger picture, she has no job, no school, and she is difficult. She is a an intimidating “hot girl.” She is basically blowing everybody out. Guys, girls, everyone.
No friends? Really? I like some “weird girls,” I do. But a girl with “no friends…” If I end up dating her, and things go sideways… we can point to this as a sign I should have known better.
As it is… I have so much damn experience now, I do know better. And what I know is: Everyone is super weird. Everyone. And you just “pick what kind of weird you like” and go with it.
That is also real.
So, back to the MYSTERY.
I told her that I want to live my life raw and real and that I was going to talk with her straight. I said that I know she is a sexy girl, and she knows it, so we don’t have to pretend about that. She nodded and smiled. I told her she has obvious sexual power, and she agreed (and I saw a flash of that “little girl” smile again). I asked when she got that power? At what age? How did she feel about it?
These are the things I like to talk to girls about – these moments where a girl will tell me about her sexual development. We catch these girls at 18, or 20, or 24… but they have been “in process” for a long time. I am interested.
She said she got her “shape” when she was 20. Hmm, that surprised me. She said she was kind of fat before that. I see zero signs of fat, but she is “soft” and curvy, so I get it.
But 20? That is surprising. One thing led to another, about her experience with men, about getting asked out, and…
NASH: Are you a virgin??
It was easy for her to say. It looked real to me.
Could it be true? I have a long history of stories like this… and here we are again.
How do you meet so many virgins?!
— RoyWalkerPUA (@RoyWalkerPUA) February 21, 2018
Now, with the context of Yohami this week: Let’s rewind to a story I told three years ago, and here are his comments about what I wrote:
“Count how many girls tell you you are the ‘first’. Telling you you are the ‘first’ is part of female sexual dance, and if you do things right (aka you fuck them) ALL OF THEM tell you you’re the first at something. Which is why I laugh every time it pops and men take it seriously.”
Here we are again. I have more experience, but I do have yet another girl telling me she is “virgin.” And she seems like an unlikely candidate. A super sexy, high value girl… that lives alone (not with her parents)… she is 24… and she’s never been fucked?
What is more likely: That that story is true or that I am a fool?
I know what I think. But let’s go back to Yohami:
“The ‘first’ is a lure. Men value virginity. Their ‘lack of experience’ is your lure to come in and have power over them. They will tell you they have less experience than you do. Even a professional hooker will find something you did where you were the first and the best, if she’s into pleasing you and luring you to invest more. Female dance. Hey Nash, you’re the best man I’ve ever met! Get it?”
These comments are about a totally different girl, but here I am, tonight, in the same conversation, many years later.
She also says she has never been kissed. Is it possible? Or is there some “neon sign” on my forehead that makes girls say ridiculous shit like this to me? Which is true?
Here is what I think:
That she might be a virgin was a surprise, but also note that under her “mega hot” look, I kept wondering if she was “16.” Could it be that she is “basically” 16, even though she is biologically older than that? No school, no job, almost no socializing. So her being a virgin isn’t that “odd,” given her “social age” and circumstances.
She told me she has never been to a party. Never. That she is an introvert. That she reads a lot. And I have to say… her vocabulary, even in English, is maybe better than mine. Is this profile starting to come together? I think it is.
“This is about you screening each other, anything she says here is to both lure you in and make you do moves, while filtering to see if you’re bottom or top guy. Now you ask if she’s had sex. She’ll ask herself what is more luring to you, and say that.”
I agree with Yohami that girls will say things that will “work” on me. “Work” to make me like her. Or “work” to make me act the fool and blow myself out (shit tests).
But along with bullshit to lead me around, to spin me like a toy, a woman will also tell you her fatal flaws. There was a lot of “confession” on this first date. Was she all “lures” and artifice? Or was she some of that… and… some “little girl” showing me just how little she is?
I am not certain.
But I DO have an incredible radar for virgins and die-hard introverts. In fact, it is a beautiful thing about daygame, that girls that never go out, that don’t online date, do in fact walk across town sometimes… and men like me can “feel them,” and we approach, and we get access to them when all the other avenues are blocked. In that way, those ARE “my girls.”
So… Am I getting hustled? For money or resources? No. She hasn’t asked for anything.
We met because I approached her. The set hooked because I didn’t back down when she went “hot girl” on me. We kept talking because I took her number. We had a date tonight because I asked her out. She came where I told her to come to meet me. I am leading in a strong, masculine way (which is rare) and she was lovely (and feminine) the whole date.
Am I getting mislead? Well, girls live in the Land of Maybe, but… no, she is what she looks like.
She is a very smart girl. She is an “only child” and a pain in the ass. She is not friendly. She uses her “hotness” as a weapon to both attract attention as well as to freeze everyone out. She is a very introverted, former fat girl, that is now hot, spending time by herself, with her great body, her long hair, and her books. She doesn’t like Japanese guys. When she does get approached, she gives them even less than she gave me.
And… how many of the guys in this city can take “hot bitch” to the face like I did, and smile, and lean into it, and ratchet up the tension?
Did I show some skill in this seduction? In how I am reading her now? Or am, after all these years… a fool?
Is she really a virgin??
At the end of the night, I walked her down the stairs to the subway. She followed, every time, everywhere I asked her to move.
We chatted a bit more, I said I was going home, and she should come with me. She slowly smiled (sweetly), and said, “No.” Cool, I said. We talked a bit more. Again, Are you sure? Come with me. “Umm.” A tempted smile. She gets it.
I think she wanted to, but she said no. I made her take my hand. She resisted, bratty teenager, saying “no” for no other reason than to say “no,” but she took it. I held it and stared at her.
Okay, I said.
We turned our backs and walked off.
What an interesting girl. What a great date. Is she an “8?” You know I don’t care, but for accuracy’s sake: Yeah. Being 24 helps, but yeah.
I know Yohami thinks I send “secret signals” to girls to get them to say the same bullshit to me each time, and I have to admit, I keep searching for a way to see if that might be true but…
No. I think she is what she looks like. A complicated, very hot, introverted virgin, that was picked up by a much older, very experienced daygame hound, that just happens to specialize in exactly her type… introverts are “my girls.”
Who knows. If the Daygame Gods will it to be… maybe we’ll find out.
And it all started when a man talked to a girl on the street. Viva daygame.
An 8. Really?!?! Pics or didn’t happen, not because I don’t think you’re “able”, but how you ever got interested enough to chat.
Knowing you I would say most girls are faking the virgin but…
I would say you tip your hand with experienced girls because they “feel” the familiarity of the dangerous man, but somehow when you probe around sex it’s searching for purity in questions asked, not asked, or how certain questions are asked.
Her hind brain: “He’s an experienced seducer of virgins and I kind of feel like a virgin right now”
Also, don’t discount your age.
If she is feels like she’s around dad…the only lever girls pull with their dad is innocence.
onwards, and upwards
Sundance. Hey man.
This is an interesting point. I am dangerous, “handsy,” and sexual with every girl I date, and I do it quickly. In the last year, of the 5 girls I have fucked… 3 of them 3 were on the first date (they were just ready). The 4th, the first time I got her alone.
So… I don’t have issues with not being sexual or “bad.”
But… I might talk different than a standard badboy in the PICKUP. Not ask those questions. That might be true…
There is a bigger FILTER at play here though… I’ll put that in another comment BELOW.
I saw her again last night. And I will take some pics… but I don’t want the vibe of taking pics of her to “settle a bet.” I’ll send you a shot when I get one that makes the point well.
And I wrote this three weeks ago… I have seen more of her since then… I could say she is a 7. But I think a lot of “objective” guys would call her an 8. For ME: I think an 8 probably has to be BOTH a little tall (over 5’7″) and have “ever-lasting beauty” (she’ll look remarkable, even when she is older). This girl is neither of those things.
But she is “objectively” striking for now, thou. A 36-26-36 hourglass body (that won’t last as she gets older)… which is not even usually my thing, but as she put all that love into her walk… yeah, it got me.
And in bed (I have since had her in bed 3 times)… it’s hard to think of her as a seven. Even beyond beautiful (like Miss Bangs, or some more mild girl), she is sexy/hot… she is not really in the same category as a 7.
She looks and speaks a bit like a “Russian” too. You see this once in a while with J-girls… they sound Russian. This one does the “Russian minute.” The “Russian” bit is part of the passion that makes her a “spicy 8” at that.
You’d really like her, man. I am into her… but she is not my usually type. She is everybody else’s type… that is why I bothered to use the language of “an 8” to describe her.
You know I am happy with 6s/7s… very happy.
Okay, I have been thinking about this for years, because I do find all these girls that claim to be “virgins” and Yohami mocks me so mercilessly for believing it.
But check this out… have you ever heard of this player named “Krow-zer” or something like that?
FROM APR 2021, this is “New” Krauser:
TUSK: For you personally… what are the key differences in what are you screening for in particular
KRAUSER: First thing is the pre-approach filter…
KRAUSER: The pre-approach on the girls… I am looking for girls that are a lot more mainstream
KRAUSER: A lot of r-select pickup can be like ‘find the rebel,’ ‘find the outsider.’ You are looking for signs of the girl that she is a bit of a adventurer
TUSK: Things like tattoos
KRAUSER: Think of all the things that are like, ‘Ou, I’ll go for that, that’ll be low hanging fruit.’
Here Tusk/Krauser are talking about r-select FILTER vs…
KRAUSER: If you want to get married, you want the girl who is really nervous when you’re escalating her. You want a girl who doesn’t know what she’s doing in bed with certain things.
KRAUSER: I want girls that dress mainstream.
KRAUSER: They don’t have all those classic r-select signs.
Okay, there it is. THESE ^ are the girls I filter for. These are “my girls.” You know this about me. It is exactly who I date (60% of the time).
It is NOT that after I pick them up, I “tip my hand” and they think they need to feed me “I am a virgin” BS.
It is that: I FILTER FOR K-SELECT. As my wing, you know this is true about me. You… like strippers. And I like… book-nerd Chinese girls. And we don’t fight over girls much… totally different targets.
The reason this pattern seems weird to most guys, is that I have a DIFFERENT PRE-APPROACH FILTER vs most guys. They can’t imagine intentionally targeting nerdy, introverted, art girls… and that is mostly what I go after.
I don’t ONLY date “virgins.” Like I said, 3 of 5 girls this year fucked me on the first date. I’ve done “insta-pulls” (twice). Many SDLs.
But… I do have a higher % of “nice girls.” BECAUSE I target nice girls… and then, run “bad boy” Game, at least in the sense that I escalate quickly. Not typical bad boy at all, not r-select, but… I do fuck them as fast as they are ready for.
KRAUSER: She doesn’t put her makeup on with a trowel. You look at her, you think: ‘She’s balanced, she is from a stable family.’
Who did I date when you knew me? Nice Chinese girls from rich families. Mostly, that was true. And that will draw a lot of virgins vs the “slags” (Krauser’s word) that an r-select guy would intentionally target.
KRAUSER: In set: I want the girl that ‘gets the thing’ that meeting a girl is not a weird thing, but she is a little bit uncomfortable. She is a little bit worried that her mom and dad might walk past while she is talking to you. She is little worried what the neighbors think. I want the girl that doesn’t curse. If you say to her, ‘Are you adventurous,’ she says, ‘not really… I am a bit boring, I guess.’
Doesn’t THAT ^ sound like the girls I target? It does to me. That is exactly who I target.
KRAUSER: It’s just the opposite of what you look for when you’re a player. There is no magic to it.
I don’t target like a “player” targets. Different filter.
I just heard this interview… and for me, the case is closed on why I come across virgins. And why a lot of players can’t believe it…
We are targeting entirely different populations of girls (mostly that is true).
>>But… I do have a higher % of “nice girls.” BECAUSE I target nice girls… and then, run “bad boy” Game, at least in the sense that I escalate quickly. Not typical bad boy at all, not r-select, but… I do fuck them as fast as they are ready for.
I don’t target nice girls, and repel most of them, but I’ve also been a fair number of nice girls’s indiscretion. I think in real life I come off as much less of an asshole than I do, or can, online. Enough asshole to be enticing, not so much as to scare off (some) nice girls.
Nice girls who don’t want to go full-on degenerate but who are ready for a change of pace.
Pretty much every conversation where guys are talking at cross purposes about Game and girls can be boiled down to archetype incongruency. Failure to understand that archetypes exist, and how important they are, is the mistaken cause of most arguments about Game.
I’ve been getting guys to swallow the archetype pill for a couple years now. Archetypes are EVERYTHING — both yours and hers.
You are a super high-value guy. You have a solid professional side, you’re very smart, you’re in good shape. All the “kink” would be a big, exciting surprise for girls that met you outside of that scene.
So I can imagine “nice girls” could approve of you in general… and then feel fine “being dirty” with a man of your quality.
I like that. Trying to talk about archetypes (“types” in general) is more than a lot of guys can sit still for.
“Just tell me what to say to get the ’10s,’ bruh. Should I tell her ‘I am the prize?'”
I meant to say the girls you stop “aren’t faking being virgins”
I simply think that if, and that’s a big if, she like us…she morphs into what she thinks we want.
I believe the desire in a girl to be liked, is the same level of desire we have towards sex.
Swinggcat always likes to quote Mean Girls, “Just because you don’t like someone, doesn’t mean you don’t want them to like you”
Sounds almost like she has Aspergers. Very curt, very direct-seeming responses. Little apparent interest in other people or social life.
Psych diagnoses are overused today, granted, 3/4 of chicks claim to have “social anxiety disorder,” when the only actual disorder they might have is “7 hours a day staring at my smartphone disorder”… but in this one, Aspergers might fit… that could also explain the lack of sexual debut, she’s too weird and antisocial to get there.
Or she could just be generally weird, or something else.
Hey man. Good to hear from you.
Wow… that is a very interesting comment.
We know aspies and autists are 80%+ male. I have never thought of girls like that. I wonder if it is true?
I divide girls (sometimes) into THREE GROUPS depending on how they interact with the world. Are they INTELLECTUAL (head), EMOTIONAL (heart), or PHYSICAL (body). What is their main orientation.
I have now dated this girl (I am calling her “Feral Cat”) now four times. She is very intellectual, smart, great vocab. And she is very passionate. Moaning, big physical responses to escalation, etc. So she is HEAD and BODY.
I asked her last night:
ME: How do you feel?
HER: I feel nothing
And she said that with some “hot bitch,” disgusted attitude… so I didn’t take it seriously. I still think that is an act. But… maybe you’re right.
I am calling her FERAL CAT (going forward). I think that suits her. She has a lot of typical cat-like behavior. But “feral” as in, unsocialized. She might be a great cat to be around… but you have to get through the “wildness” of not having a normal socialization. For most people, she will remain “feral” forever… even if I can coax her in a little closer.
I think she is also, clearly, an AVOIDANT personality. I think most of that is DEFENSE… probably something she picked up early. She can’t get hurt, if she blows everyone out. She has been blowing people out for a long time (first, as an edgy, “ugly duckling” in HS, now as an icy “hot girl”). She is almost proud when I point this out to her. She agress with the “defense” evaluation. I think it’s “real,” but it is an “act” in that there is more there…
And I am the type to try to use my tools to “open her” – which is my greater goal in seduction these days. Open the girl. Take her “deeper” than she is used to going. This is all Deida’s influence. And Wineland. Even if she is a feral cat… same plan… crack her open, and then build a great experience with her there.
I am actually +1 with her, as of last night… but we’ll see if anything changes. Her post-sex messages are more of the same. Very strange, nothing romantic, cool, odd intellectual/factual responses… but she has a “dark fantasy” side that is coming out. She is not a robot.
You may be right. I’ll think about this some more.
I’ve obviously not met the girl you’re describing and sometimes it’s hard to say who’s just weird, and who is maybe diagnosably weird, so I’d emphasize that I’m putting the idea out, not saying for sure… but her behavior as described at least seems consistent with asperger’s or similar.
I’ve run into some chicks who are a bit on the spectrum: if a girl likes to fuck for the usual reasons (sensation, orgasm) but is also much more logical/systematic than a normal girl, she’s more likely than average to wind up doing non-monogamy, and thus I’m more likely to run into her. For those girls, sex is more like, I don’t know, a better, more fun option than going to the gym or watching TV. These kinds of girls are or can be very bizarre to deal with at first, for a guy used to dealing with normal girls.
They might be really enjoying the interaction, but I’ll have no idea, and they’re often a bit more like talking to an engineer than a girl or normal guy. They can also be oddly non-reactive, but if they like you enough for sex, you’ll just escalate them right into it, without any real green lights along the way, apart from compliance. Sometimes they like the “explicit consent culture” of parties, because they can’t read social cues, so the “Can I kiss you?” “I’m going to get a condom” thing is appealing to them.
Normal girls almost all hate “explicit consent” and want the guy to “just get it,” which is one of many reasons current campus sex hysteria is idiotic, but I digress.
One description from a weirdo woman w/ Asperger’s, https://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2010/11/18/what-its-like-to-have-sex-with-someone-with-aspergers/, and her other writing, https://blog.penelopetrunk.com/asperger-syndrome/. Chicks with it are out there, and some of them are even hot.
Aella, https://knowingless.com, says she has it, I believe, somewhere. Very interesting writer. She says that she feels like she was randomly born into a “hot girl body” and didn’t really know what to do with that, although she had a very peculiar upbringing, very Christian (in a negative way), so there’s some childhood stuff there too.
To my knowledge, though, asperger’s diagnoses are mostly or entirely checklist-based… you check enough symptoms/behaviors/whatever, you get the diagnosis… so in that sense there’s a very strong social component to it… I’ve not looked carefully at whether there are fMRI studies or genetic studies that’ll look for it…
Maybe she had a weird/bad upbringing, with emotionally stunted parents, and she learned to turn emotions off as a defense mechanism. That’d also be consistent with her behaviors. THE DRAMA OF THE GIFTED CHILD is a good start on that. It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle is another. Being avoidant is consistent with the above. I have some avoidant tendencies.
Also consistent with asperger’s or asperger’s-like personality. I’d expect a normal chick with strong defenses and a propensity to repel to at least crack after sex, become more warm… I’ve run into chicks who are very cold or defensive, until a switch flicks, and they become the opposite.
Very interesting comment, top to bottom.
I don’t actually think this is why girls fuck… I don’t even think most guys (ultimately) fuck for these reasons (although, I have, at times). I think Maslow’s Hierarchy is key to the WHY of sex: Most of us (almost all men) are starving for “sex” so hunger/need comes first. But the second they get their dick inside her, that level of the hierarchy is satisfied, and the sex immediately becomes about something else (something higher up the hierarchy).
But I like your point, and some of that perspective could very well be out of my experience.
This girl has reactions. She responds to Game, in normal ways. Her face is emotive. But in terms of her SAYING ANYTHING VERBALLY, she is controlled, cold, flat (even if the facade cracks immediately after). She is super passionate and responsive in bed… although, I think she is influence too much by porn.
This is kind of true with her. She is very compliant, but so cold (at first). Again, the “little girl smile” cracking thru is also a constant feature… I think her coldness is both 1.) A trouble upbringing (lots of divorce) and 2.) An act, it’s defense, it works, she knows it, she uses it a lot, but there is more… even if the rest of her is extremely undeveloped.
Hmmm. Maybe she DOES have Aspergers. And she is so socially off, she likes me and hasn’t noticed my extreme sociopath tendencies. I feel like I have just be “found out.” Ha.
I read two of those posts… fascinating. And I look back at the “sex party” people I knew in SF… and see them differently. This one girl, really liked me. She was feminine, but sexually “bold.” 3 MDs… crazy smart. Maybe she was an aspie sex girl?
This is almost exactly my read of her. She was an only child (isolated) and mom has been married several times (mom is perhaps selfish/neglectful). She was fat in HS too. I think she developed a very odd social life, as it was easier to be good at being “100% solo” than bad at being “normal.”
She does not appear to be suffering. She is not unhappy at all, that I can see. But she is responding to “human contact” and intimacy very well. Hmmm. I don’t know.
Yeah. She flinches and jumps around when I try to touch her (which I do anyways, my “Octopus” style, lots of girls react like this early in a seduction)… but only at first. By the end of the night, she is “leaning into it.” Post sex, she was much softer… a lot of the tension was out of her body (even as there was no pleasure/orgasm/release, the “first time ever” sex hurt her, but she was just “getting closer to me” afterward, for sure).
I think part of this is that VERBALLY, she is pure “intellect,” so you only get that cold, crafted style. But PHYSICALLY (or in person), she “leaks” normalness. So via TEXT, she is an assassin. Not the slightest bit emotional or needy… but she has come forward (initiated) texting twice. Very brief. Zero emotion. If that was all I had to go on, I’d assume I was being rejected…
But she is compliant. And she comes out. And in person, she is feminine and emotive. Her face is very expressive.
I think she is FERAL… like a “girl raised by wolves.”
We have date #5 on Tuesday. I am looking forward to it. I genuinely like her.
I asked if she wanted to spend the night last time, and she “leaked” some real desire to do that… but I sent her home to “recover.” I’ll have her sleep over this time, and I think that’ll give the “bonding chemicals” a lot of time to work… we’ll see.
Great comments from you. I learned something here. Very well done.
I’m so glad you’re still corresponding with Yohami! I was on a Frontier flight a couple days ago (one of the last remaining airlines without in-flight internet) and ended up finishing one of the only PDFs I had on my phone – the “Open Your Eyes” PDF someone (who?) put together of all the comments on Yohami’s blog. I was pleased to find myself in there at times.
Good stuff man, also congrats on the bang :-)
“Is she a virgin” who cares!
And if she was, she’s not longer.
Maybe she’ll be again in the future.
[…] Nash has a story about dating a peculiar girl, one who is “cold, confident, powerful little ‘push’ in how she receives you” and who seems to have a “bitchy hot girl routine.” Her responses to him are curt and highly factual, to the point Nash feels like “something is missing.” She’s a mystery (read the whole thing to understand more), and one possibility I posit in the comments: aspergers. She has little apparent interest in other people or a normal social life. […]
The man, the myth, and the legend is here. Great.
Nash, (Yohami, and anyone who’d like to chip in)
I took a girl to visit a friend, and two days later, she’s sending me photos of her back at my friends place at 11pm. They almost certainly fucked. I feel cold and hurt.
I get it, women are brutal. He’s more well to do and better looking than me. I don’t have a place of my own is why I took her to his place in the first instance, hoping to bang her there. I didn’t bang her. But he was banging her two days later. Fuck.
I can’t tell any of our mutual friends this because it’ll just sound like a man whining about his losses. And I’d probably be blamed for taking her there in the first place. She asked for his IG and I gave it to her (I didn’t want to be the cock-blocking bitter guy getting jealous that she liked my friend on the first meeting. My friend told me he wasn’t going to be hooking up with her, but two days later, she somehow ended up at his place, at 11 fucking pm.)
I know the drill, the answer to this is I should get my shit together and move up the ladder in life. I’m 25, he’s 24. But he’s more well off than I. I’m battling a substance addiction too. This shit had made me realize I need to get better.
But I’d like you guy to chip him and give me wisdom and perspective in this time. I feel a chill run through my body. Is it hurt? is it jealousy. I don’t fucking know. But it doesn’t feel great.
If he is fucking her, and he knows you like her, and you brought her around… he isn’t your friend.
She isn’t your friend either. What is wrong with that girl? She should STFU about it… unless she was trying to send you a message?
I kind of blame you. But…
I did the same thing in the Spring. I brought a new girl to a bar I like, where I was “friends” with the bartender. I built him up all night – because I am used to that with my wings/”brothers.” She came back on her own with a friend. I was actually there, talking to him, was texting her as she walked in that night. I gamed her friend a bit, and it was fun… then left early. Later, the bartender told me that “she was messaging me on instagram.” Which leads me to wonder: How did you end up “friends” on IG? But I know the answer…
Even if it was her idea: He should have passed. I would, with a “friend.” “Aren’t you dating Nash, no thanks. That’s low. I’ll pass.” And to close a girl I am dating, even casually, means he is not my friend. Clear now.
She wasn’t that into me. I assume. I stopped msging her. And… I cut that bartender off. I still go to that bar, but only on his nights off. If I see him again, he gets “yeah brah” and no love. I’m done with him.
I don’t know if they fucked or not… but I was clearly trying to date her, brought her in, he #closed her on another night… and… that’s breaking “bro rules.” I don’t care if they fucked… that dude gets cold shoulder now, forever.
It’s nobody’s fault but mine. But they are both cut out. I’ll never be cool to either of them again. And I move on. Maybe they don’t care. That’s fine. I am clear about what I want and moving on.
Lesson: Don’t bring a girl into a pool of sharks. I assumed her was a friend, but I was wrong. I won’t do that again.
Uhhhh. This story is kind of ugly. And she isn’t a girl you should be helping in any way.
In that situation… what did your gut say? If I thought she wasn’t into me, and was using me to step into some other guy’s scene… I’d walk away from her right. “It’s cool. I’m sure you can get it from him.” And then walk.
There is almost ZERO reason why I girl should ever ask you about another man like that.
Game trumps cash. It does, every time. If you had better Game, if she was more into you… his money wouldn’t matter.
And… No excuses. No one cares. Not trying to be a dick, but unless you’re trying to “date your mom,” nobody cares about how “it’s hard.”
I like that about Game. No BS.
We all do. Keep going.
And as for dating… one-on-one. All the major hins appensone-on-one. She sucked and was not that into you…
But you want to isolate, not lead her to the sharks. Me too. It happens.
I NEVER ask a girl if she is a virgin or about her sexual past. I don’t care. And I hardly ever meet “virgins” even though “my girls” are doctors, lawyers, sales reps. I target the cleaner, marriage type girls. The ones with no tats and no piercings. Some are introverts too…like computer programmer nerd girls…rare, but I meet em bc I LOVE girls that wear glasses…just does it for me.
I think it is definitely something you are doing. I get that you are targeting nerdy girls and they are more likely to be virgins, but I doubt you’ve met that many that are genuine virgins.
Stop asking about their sexual histories. Naturals and players don’t do that, so why would you?
Hey man. This isn’t my first day of Game. I have had a ton of success doing what I do. I don’t find your arguments compelling.
Are you the spokesman for all “naturals?” What % would you say of naturals do/don’t talk about a girls sexual past?? You have no idea. Of course you don’t. So do, some don’t. Terrible argument.
Make your point, own it. Don’t pretend to speak for “naturals.”