Day3 with Taiwanese Girl
Here is a day3 with a Taiwanese girl I picked up 2 weeks ago. We had a day2, which I’ll post later… this one had a little more action, and she/I are further along.
So… good first date. She was cute, we had a good time. No msg from her after that date. I wanted to “lean back,” but I wanted to set up the next date, as I was leaving town soon for a week to go to Burning Man.
NASH: Hey cute girl… I had a nice time with you yesterday. If you some free time this weekend, I’d like to take you out again before I go to Burning man.
HER: Yep. I am ok for Saturday or Sunday.
I msg back, brief, all logistics, Sunday, the spot, 5 PM. She confirmed, brief “yep, see you there.”
I got my place cleaned up on the off chance I’d bring her back… and headed out to meet her. I was on time. She was late, again, 20 mins. Hmmm.
I felt like I wanted to check her out about the being late thing. Two dates in a row… I wasn’t pissed, but I wanted to check that out. So when she showed, I said, “You’re late,” and smiled. She started to apologize, told me that her hair was wet (which I like, she cleaned up for the date, and she did look good). I was still smiling, felt good, but kept going, “Hey, I don’t know much about you, just getting to know you, but I know one thing… you’re late a lot.” She did some more qualifying, I smiled, no bitterness, touched her affectionately, happy to challenge her a bit. That was mostly for her, so she’d know that I noticed, and that I am the kind of man that isn’t afraid to call out the elephant in the room. She qualified a bit more and we moved on… it was an experiment, didn’t hurt me, I’m glad I did it.
She was very cute, much more friendly, smiley, joking, right from the beginning. No question where we were going, so I told her, dragged her onto her first bus ride in this city, and she stood close to me, touching her was easy, she smelled great (I told her so), I leaned up against her as the bus rocked, already enjoying her.
I thought I saw an eye spazz in there early on… I think I was right. It was pretty on. I could feel the urge to kiss her in the first 10 minutes… genuine desire. Those big, dark eyes, drawing me in.
(She is an interesting looking girl… she’s from Taiwan, but her look reminds me of South American natives a bit. That Mayan look. South American natives and Asian can look similar… I once dated a girl from Peru I thought was Asian.)
I took her on an errand, but a cool one, to a old school Chinese tea store I know. I knew what I wanted there… some special tea I always bring to Burning Man. We sat at the marble table, on those little drum-like bamboo seats, and they gave us a couple tastings… fucking cool experience every time. She loved it, talked about how she recognized some of the teas from Taipei. I bought a couple of flavors, and ask her to carry them so I didn’t have them in my hands all night.
Took her to a delicious Burmese place afterwards. I love the food. She was good company. She reached for her purse as the check came, but I am happy to take this girl to dinner… nice gesture on her part. I appreciate that.
We went to this cool Asian market afterwards, for some egg puffs – delicious. As we sat on a bench outside, I cut a conversational thread and grabbed her shoulders, and told her, “You have really great lips.” Her eyes spazzed a bit again. I told her I was distracted by her lips a few times in the museum on our first date. She slowed down, and said, “That is a really great compliment.” She does have amazingly kissable lips. Small mouth, but big, puffy lips, both top/bottom. Grrrrr. I pushed her away, laughed and looked off into the distance. Back to talking about normal stuff. Kiss was seeded at that point.
My plan was to get her back toward my place, so I asked if she had time for a drink, put us in a car, and we were off.
She was a little tense in the bar… and when I asked what she wanted to drink, she said water, I said cool, ordered a whiskey for me, and sat us down in a nice booth seat. She doesn’t really drink. Sunday, empty bar, pretty quiet, nice and close, dark, good set up.
Mostly normal conversation about her parents, her business, then relationships.
I leaned back into the seat, put my arm behind her, and she slowly leaned back into me. She is great at following my lead. When I was younger, I would have had a less-hot, less-fun date, and it would have been all my fault. This girl is very pliable… if you know how to lead. I know how to lead.
I wanted to kiss her, and it was time. It was not a romantic moment, not really. She’s dead sober. But she’s taking my touches very well. She’s not in love, but something like “floppy.” I would grab her shoulders to break the flow, and get a moment to kiss her. Over and over, she would launch into some comment as I would do that. I’m sure that was her feeling something coming… probably at a subconscious level. I don’t think the kiss was obvious.
Eventually I kind of squeeze her shoulders again, she looks at me, and I jumped in… nice, simple kiss. Those full, plump puffy lips. She was ready, nice kiss, she was into it. I told her I wanted to kiss her on the bus earlier in the night, and she spazzed a bit more.
Good date, but not really “hot.” She’s feminine, beautiful by my standards, but “practical” in that Chinese way. I got a nice rush from the kiss, but I wasn’t ready for sex… so I didn’t try. Next time. We’re on the right path.
I had so much to do before Burning Man, I had to wrap it up.
I told her I needed to go, and had her call herself a car. We waited a bit together, and I took that opportunity to taste her a little more. Stuffed her in the car w/ our leftovers from dinner, and headed home to work on Burning Man gear.
I got a very interesting education tonight.
One the one hand, she is an excellent advocate for China, which she seems to love, having spent a lot of time there, and she’s thinking about moving there where her mom has a business. She has a great POV on China, about the people, the culture, how it’s changing, what that means to her, how Asian people are cool with change. At one point she and I agreed that the Chinese are not “sentimental” about what is going on in China right now… not from her POV. Hearing about that, and her life in Taiwan, very interesting to a simple man like me.
On the other hand… I got another slice of experience, moving a woman through a shared evening, leading, escalating, making her comfortable, soaking up her nuances, tasting her mouth.
As I walked back to my place… I was kind of amazed at the whole thing. I met this girl on the street two weeks ago. She happens to be here, by herself, for a few weeks. I’ve dated her twice, and it’s going well. I would bet 1$ I’ll see her again. As a daygamer, this shouldn’t surprise me. I’ve done all this before. But this was what was missing from my summer.
Maybe things are finally shaking loose? Maybe I’m finally shaking loose?
Only don’t know.
I’m looking fwd to seeing her again when I’m back from the desert. I’m looking fwd to seeing myself, as good or better than I knew before, as I continue to come back to life. To be a better man. To know more about women, to know more women, to know them deeper.
Cool report and kudos on making progress.
You’re sending beta signals. It’s date 3 and you went for a kiss now – so it will likely take you months and a committed relationship before having sex, which means that if you dont get to the relationship phase you wont have sex with her. You put yourself in the slow road.
Which could make sense, sort of, if you’re looking for a wife and this girl is a virgin-ish.
But chances are she’s either had sex with an alpha already, or she’s always wanted to have sex with one. If so, you’re being measured and compared against that guy. The longer and slower you take it, the more room for comparison and the more you’ll be under scrutiny, as opposed to her being “taken off her feet” by you.
Here’s another take: you’re not leading with sexuality but by interest in her personality and other things, taking her to eat, sharing interesting stuff, is all beta-provider frame.
You can take her to eat if you kiss her right away and she’s turned on and she cannot keep her hands of you, then you can use other activities to give the sexual tension a framework and tell a story there.
Another take: going slow is the harder path.
Another take: the safest way to have sex with a woman is to go for sex early, immediately if you can (you can).
Another take: you approached her during day which is bold in nature – she went for it, now you’re slowing down and diluting your own intensity. Go back to the other girl who was all pissed off and you lost because you didnt fuck her when she went out with you.
Another take: put yourself in the shoes of the girl. All she wants in her life, really, is to fuck an Alpha. Give it to her. Alphas dont wait 3 dates to go for a soft kiss. Get yourself out of the way.
Hope that helps, cheers.
>> It’s date 3 and you went for a kiss now
2nd date. “day3” is pickup jargon, for the “3rd time you’ve seen her.” I picked her up (day1). 1st date (day2) was at a museum, I cut out soon after. That kiss was basically the first time I’d had her in the dark (day3).
>> taking her to eat, sharing interesting stuff, is all beta-provider frame
Yeah. I went on the date I wanted to go on, actually. I certainly wasn’t trying to impress her, that was all what I wanted to do that day. I know it wasn’t “sex/alpha” stuff, but that all felt right to me, for that girl, on that day.
In general, I know you’re right.
She’s a “quiet” girl, no sexy vibe from her, she doesn’t drink. That doesn’t mean “sex w/ an alpha” wouldn’t be great for her, I think you’re right, but it would have felt forced to push faster than this. Forced for me, if not for her.
I think part of the education I need is to “force” myself along a little faster… but I’m trying to balance being real with myself and listening to the good advice you’re giving me.
I think she’s very compliant girl. I think I can do what I want with her. I’ll have her our again this week… we’ll see.
This is why Im against daygame – I understand you ARE getting some value out of this, since you’ve got some dates. But after getting the date you have to go for the kill. To go for the kill you need the personality traits and dominance and assertion of your masculine nature. So that must be there or all is sort of fruitless – plus if the traits are not there most girls will reject you upfront and the whole thing is uphill – when it should be downhill, which can only happen if you first have the traits, and then say hello. Or, what did you learn to alpha up from this interaction?
Girls dont tell betas what they should do to become attractive, dont tell betas how to fuck them, dont tell where are the keys, so if you dont know how to open them, they will never tell you. So out of this interaction:
Did you become more Alpha? more assertive, dominant, louder, relaxed?
There’s a risk that since things went “well” (because you dont have what to compare against, dont have an alpha framework to evaluate this) then it may reinforce the beta frame – she did take the food you paid for, she accepted a kiss, she did have a nice time, you did get some validation – but all of that is the validation of the beta frame so it turns into anti game, and all of these nice things are the reason why she didnt ride your cock that day. Or, why YOU didnt ride her pussy that day.
But of course you could be doing all these things and trying to find your way to Alpha – if so, more power to you. If not, well you should :-)
Hope that helps too.
>> Hope that helps too.
Dude, you totally help me, man. Yohami, again, I thank you. I have your voice in my head all the time now… thanks man.
>> Or, what did you learn to alpha up from this interaction?
I’m not sure I get your level of what alpha means yet… but:
— I like the way I handled logistics
— I like that I challenged her on being late
— I like that I got her to relax at the bar
— I like that I escalated to that kiss
— I like that I did what I wanted to
All of this may still be beta/beginner, but I’m adding this to my foundation. So I feel solid. So I feel I can handle myself.
“— I like the way I handled logistics
— I like that I challenged her on being late
— I like that I got her to relax at the bar
— I like that I escalated to that kiss
— I like that I did what I wanted to”
>> But after getting the date you have to go for the kill. To go for the kill you need the personality traits and dominance and assertion of your masculine nature. So that must be there or all is sort of fruitless
This… has been on my mind a lot, man.
Okay, so sometimes I meet a girl, let’s say at a bar or a party, the vibe is on, the banter is hot, or she’s “slow” in the right way, and it all feels sexy. I get there fast on the dancefloor sometimes. My breathing slows down, my cock gets hard… In those situations, YES, going for sex fast makes perfect sense to me. I get it.
But if I’m I’m not “dropping into sex,” I know I have to take she/I there. I have to lead that. But when I’m not feeling sexy, “forcing” sex feels like just that… forcing it. I’ve been there… and it feel mechanical and lame.
I’m not sure I want to fuck every girl I date. I’m pretty sure I want to fuck this one. Maybe it takes >>me<< 2-3 dates to bond with some girls? Maybe there is another option other than SNL or "months to sex." We'll see. I am wondering if I need to man up and escalate, even when I don't feel it? Or if that's bullshit? Or if I need to "game myself" until I am turned on, and then going for the kill will be easy/normal/right? I like option #3. Jason Savage says "sex trumps intimacy." I think about that everyday. I think he's right, and that you/he would agree here. I'm thinking about all this.
Yes – because it’s not about you, it’s about her. What does SHE require to have sex with you?
Her sexuality is tuned to be turned on by Alpha behavior. One of the key traits of Alpha behavior is not only being ready for sex all the time, but always leading there, and always ready to take on the opportunity to savage her.
What makes YOU ready to have sex with her, is your problem. If you’re talking to her and taking her out, that should mean that you’re ready to fuck her, since you are the one taking the lead and making things happen. That’s the core principle that leads the whole interaction, sets the mood, plans ahead, takes her for a ride.
Going there with an open mind to “see what happens and how it feels” is the female mindset, it’s HER mindset, until she finally makes up her mind to have sex with you. She will see things that stimulate her and want to see more of these, and things that do nothing for her and she’ll ignore and want less of them. If your intent is not pushy (yet calm) and steady, if your pulse is not there taking command, then she’ll feel lost and wonder if you like her and what is the purpose of the whole interaction.
Because the reason she was there to begin with was sex.
This is a sexual interaction.
You picked her up because you wanted your dick inside of her.
When she said yes and reciprocated, she is saying this: “YES. I want that you show me that dick, then I’ll see how I feel about it, and let you know if I want it inside of me”
There’s absolutely nothing else going on. Your job is to take that YES and put your dick inside of her. There’s no need for bonding unless she requires bonding before sex (chances are she doesnt, as bonding takes women a LONG time). There’s no need for chit chat unless she requires chit chat before sex. So whatever she requires for sex is needed, and whatever she doesnt, is not. What she requires, though, most of the time, is the same. Enough displays of alpha and enough moves at the right time that turn her on. To know what to do, your job is to pay attention to what she responds to, and produce more of that, and see what she doesnt respond to, and produce less of that. So you are screening her, following the moan, and produce more moans. You have been fucking her since the first moment, and that’s why it feels good.
Your attempt to bond and do other stuff before engaging in sexual mood means you’re trying to bring her into your beta frame, since that’s where you know how to be sexual. You are operating in beta times, acting on beta timers, yes, trying to feel “good” but good and bad only have meaning in the frames where they are being used. What feels good and bad feels different in another frame. The bad news for you is that the beta frame is inherently unnatractive for women, it’s innerently a turn-off, because, see, you are even pushing brakes, instead of pressing the accelerator and letting HER push the brakes when things are too fast, if ever.
The reason why going for sex early feels forced is because going fast is incompatible with the beta frame. You have to first go through your own barriers to release that cock – you’re cockblocking yourself. Because these barriers are there, most girls will reject you when you say hello – your cock is not there and your intent is not there.
Watch RSDMax more recent videos, and compare with his videos from 2 years or so ago.
One more comment on the sexual intent – wanting to fuck her doesnt mean pushing her all the time making moves. You can be very laid back and very playful to the point she is going to be the one begging for it. Or you can be very upfront and very pushy and having her push the brakes all the time.
Because it’s the who and not the what. If your intent to fuck her is clear and you’re present, it will make everything else congruent with it. You can toy around and chill, like a cat, or jump on it like a dog.
What you can’t do is put yourself through some pre-determined timeline of number of dates or things that should happen before you feel sexual, because all of that is a turn off for HER. Her sexuality will spike many times, it will open several windows where you can jump and take her, and if you miss them, they close, probably for good.
Your job is to say YES while she says MAYBE.
If at any point you lose interest in her, then you say NO. It’s very binary.
Leave all the gray crap to women.
You only say MAYBE when you’re toying with her, getting her to make it easier for you by putting her to work. You can do that when she’s already in YES mode.
>> The reason why going for sex early feels forced is because going fast is incompatible with the beta frame
I am going to assume you are at least 50% right on this point, but I’ll own the rest and say you’re just wrong here, at least about me. I’m not a special snowflake. But I’m not a dildo either. I’m not a robot. I actually DO respond differently to different girls. The girl I met at Burning Man had me hard in the first 30 minutes, out in public. This girl has never had me hard. I’m not saying sex won’t be great with her… I’m very attracted… but I know it will be different than w/ the Burning Man girl. This is a lighter burn, at least for now. Once I’m pinching her nipples, we’ll see what that looks like… for both she and I.
We have another date tomorrow. I will escalate quickly, because I want to. Because she’s floppy and escalating is fun and easy with her. I bet she will show something like “fear” a lot of the time, as opposed to passion. I’m expecting some passion part way through sex with her, and maybe not before… I think that is just the type of girl she is. If I find that “fear” and “nervousness” hot, I will be very turned on, I’ll enjoy dominating her. If I find it sad, or weird, or creepy… I’m not going to force my dick into her under those conditions. Who would that serve? Not me. And I’m in game for me.
I think I DO have some beta in my mentality, and I’d like to work to get it out… but I know notches won’t help me remove the beta. Notches are important, because they show I am actually playing, but they are not freedom. I want to sex this girl… and I have the plan, and the skills, to take her through that. We’ll see.
At some point neither she nor I are robots… so of course, the plan is clear, but will happen… we’ll see.
Good luck on the date.
But yes, we are robots. Yes, we respond to impulses with pre-determined responses from a very limited pool of options. Otherwise Game wouldnt be possible and there wouldnt be rules.
“I actually DO respond differently to different girls.”
Sure, but this is not about you. If you read my comments again, taking yourself out of the equation, and look a the mindframes and roles and stereotypes, it should be more clear.
You dont matter. I dont matter. You are an actor in a play that was already written. You didnt decide what women are attracted or respond to. Nature didnt set the rules to make you happy, or to make me happy – or anyone really. What Im doing is laying out the rules so you can see why you are getting the results you’re getting, and what you would have to do to get different results.
In this case, the rule is that leading with sexuality makes the woman open sexually quicker and easier than leading with non-sexuality.
Theres absolutely nothing you can do against it, and nature doesnt care about your preferences.
The girl you move towards in a more sexually, assertive way, will be much more receptive to it that the girl you take your time to know first. And if a girl opens a window where you can make a move, and you dont make the move, she closes the window and discards you, also there’s not much you can do against it.
If you have a girl you dont feel like going sexual with, you can pretty much bypass her and find another one who does estimulate you in that way. It’s not about forcing your dick into things, it’s about finding targets worthy of your dick.
That last line is Game in the most pure form.
>> In this case, the rule is that leading with sexuality makes the woman open sexually quicker and easier than leading with non-sexuality.
This I believe 100%. Your story about texting one girl, and then sending that same text to other girls in your life, I understand entirely. I hear that as putting obvious sexuality in very early stages with girls. Yes to all that.
I guess where I am at with this particular lesson, Yohami, is “leading with sexuality” being a sexual man right from the beginning? Or does it mean you push for penetration immediately?
I think you’re saying the latter.
I mean being a sexual man from the beginning. The phrase “push for penetration” belongs to the wrong frame.
>> But yes, we are robots. Yes, we respond to impulses with pre-determined responses from a very limited pool of options. Otherwise Game wouldnt be possible and there wouldnt be rules.
I agree with this in the larger sense of human nature. I know I can be “played” like a robot getting his buttons pushed. I get that.
When it comes to my life, if the sex is in the air, or I can get chemistry into the moment… yes, I want it. But if it’s not there… if it’s flat… if there’s no sexual vibe… if I have tried and she is either flat or “scared” looking… then, no, I’m not into robotic sex with her, just because “I should.”
Yes… I have a lot of room to experiment with this, to push harder, to find my edge. We’ll see.
” to push harder”
It’s not about pushing. Check that RSD max video I posted in the other comment. The guy has the girl touching HIS cock under 15 minutes after meeting. He’s not pushing, he’s leading.
Leading vs Push.
Push belong to the beta frame, encountering a wall and pushing against it.
Though, you can still push as an alpha but since you’re making it a dichotomy of being vs pushing, it’s about the being, not the push. It’s the who, not the what.