Dinner Dates, Fake Boobs, Calibration, and Yohami’s Ramp
Just wrapped up a good date with an interesting little girl. I am working on a longer piece about the last girl I dated in NYC, but I’ll interrupt again to talk about this new girl. Good date.
We’ll call her The Scorpion. That’s dramatic, but assume she earns her name for astrological reasons. Perhaps there is some foreshadowing here, but if so, that’ll be in another post.
I picked her up last week. I had a record day on Wednesday, took seven leads… I think all of which have turned into so much vapor since then. The next day I took two leads, she was one of them.
She was “very well put together.” I could say she “presents herself well.” Those are both flat, but they’re true. She is Asian, maybe only half… I didn’t ask. She has long, beautiful silky-thick hair. Perfect skin, maybe a hint of freckles (think Lucy Liu) spattered across full cheeks. She is more beautiful than cute. She wore an exceptional dress the day we met. It was unusual, high-end, feminine… maybe more feminine than the rest of her. Her walk was sexual, proud, had some power. Those are some of the reasons why I stopped her.
After a bit of back and forth, and before I could get to it, she suggested I take her Facebook. I agreed, and had her add me.
When I left the set, Sundance said he thought that was the longest set he’d ever seen me in. We joked that I could see him walking back and forth behind her as I ran my game (he ran an approach or two while I was with this girl). The conversation wasn’t that long, but it was easy to chat with her, and she gave me a mild “yes” reaction. It seemed pretty on.
She is Chinese. I think she might be American born, but did some part of her schooling in China. She is into being American. I can hear the slightest bits of an accent, but it’s very faint. She went to high school here. And college, at a fairly prestigious university in the area. She is very professional. Has a serious job. She reminds me bit of Business Girl from Tokyo… and that’s not a compliment.
She is confident. I’m interested in low/high self-esteem as a gauge to a woman’s personality. She is high self-esteem.
When I met her, it was the day before her birthday. I have enough experience to know that a woman’s birthday (week) is a shit show, and a new guy should stay out of that fray, and I did. I messaged her that night (which was a Thursday), saying hello:
NASH: Have fun tomorrow… and let’s say hi next week when your “birthday tornado” calms down. : ]
And then I mostly forgot about her. And then on Sunday:
HER: Hello! Thank you, and birthday was very fun!
HER We can grab a drink next week?
Hmmm. So, I properly opened her, and I ran pretty good game. But she suggested the Facebook close at the time. And here she is suggesting the date. What do we know about her based on those facts?
As this date came up today, my reaction was caution. She’s Asian, but not my typical type. And she’s doing a bit of leading here, even though I did my job in terms of a proper, strong approach.
We went back and forth a bit about the date. It was smooth and easy. From her suggestion of a drink, I suggested a great bar in the area. She agreed. She didn’t try to lead. She didn’t try to fuck with the plan. Good.
And then I left her alone for a couple days.
And it’s funny about this ^, because on the date she talked about guys that “text every day.” And that was specifically what I was not. I left her alone during the run-up to the date a couple different times. I had two dates with Miss Thick (I love that girl) in that time period, so maybe that helped keep me from overgaming or looking needy. As she said it, not being clingy via text seemed like part of my appeal.
So today I checked in with her:
NASH: Let’s meet at that art bar after work… Or if you need to go home first, we can do dinner instead.
NASH: I have a plan either way.
HER: Hahaha how fun
I like that “how fun” bit from her. That’s her being girly and cute, nice contrast to her polished business side.
As for dinner, the truth is I had booked a reservation on Monday, after she and I set up the drink date. I wanted to have a 2nd venue lined up… and I love this restaurant. I took Miss Thick there on Saturday. I was looking fwd to the meal, no matter how the date turned out.
And today before the date, YoungGuns and I talked a bit about dinner dates. He pointed out that dinner dates are unpopular with Community guys. I get it. Dinner can be a strong “provider” signal. It can be too “suburban” and boring. It can put a dent in your wallet if you’re trying to date a lot of girls. All true.
But I like dinner dates.
I’m older. My wallet is fine with reasonable dinners, and if you read this blog, you know I take girls to dinner all the time… I have to eat. I’m not the wildest guy in the world, but I have no evidence that I give off a provider vibe. No girl has tried to make me a boyfriend in years (even though I’ve had multiple regulars). Girls know I’m not a typical provider at all, so the dinner gesture doesn’t hurt me in that regard. In fact, if I can sit side by side (which I always do), I can run good game over dinner.
HER: I’ll msg you before I leave my apartment!
She did message me.
She was a couple minutes late, but not bad. She looked hot. When I said “if you need to go home first” as I set up the date, that was actually me intentionally giving her a chance to get out of her work clothes. There was no sex tonight, but if there was… I like the idea that she can clean up after work and “get pretty” for me. In this case, that’s what she did. She showed up freshly showered, in tight jeans and a pink cashmere sweater. Her full lips shiny and kissable. And she gave me a little hug without me asking.
The hostess sat us at the counter, facing the kitchen, side by side. Started chatting. She paid attention, never looked at her phone once, all through dinner. She isn’t overly warm, but I was having a good time.
LA came up, and I said I wasn’t into the “LA look.” And she asked what I meant, and I talked about “status,” but then I said, “I’m not into fake boobs.” That was meant as a bit of a spike and an intro into sexuality, but she quickly said, “I got fake boobs two months ago,” and she laughed.
Ha. Okay. I blushed a bit as I put my foot in my mouth.
And she was cool about it. And we dove into a conversation about “why” and what that meant to her. I have a lot of stories about fake boobs, and I told her about girls I’ve known or dated that have “augmented reality” like she does. And it was cool between us.
I wasn’t completely sure how into her I was at first. I had started out “cautious.” And bringing out her femininity wasn’t super easy, but I made it happen. She had a good time. By the end I liked her.
She told some stories where she was vulnerable. And I liked that she was willing to go there with me. I told her so. I think her willingness to be vulnerable with me is part of her being secure, that she can be real. Another departure from what I had thought might be a dry, corporate girl.
Turns out this girl is into older guys. She asked when I picked her up how old I was, and I said what I often say, “at least 10 years older than you.” And she took that well. And on the date, she hinted again and I let that comment go by. And then she asked more directly. I told her I was 44. I didn’t hesitate or clown around. She held my eye contact. Turns out her last BF was 45. And the one before that was even older. I’m guessing she is 24-27. I don’t think I’m off by much. I said, “you have a thing for older guys” and she agreed. That is certainly fine with me.
I’m not sure about her sexuality. As she was talking about an ex BF, she mentioned affection a lot. And I played with that in contrast to her interest in sexuality, but never really got a good sense of that kind of hunger in her. I really don’t know. Affection was more of a theme.
She asked what a girl can wear that makes a guy think she is sexy. And I told her the clothes aren’t the important part. I brought it back to femininity. She said she thinks a girl’s sexuality is “the main thing” a guy is into in a girl. I asked what she meant, and she clarified that it was about her body, how good she is in bed, if she can “give head,” etc. And that brought me to say something I’ve never said before…
I told her I don’t care if a girl has any experience at all. I told her I have had experiences (and I never said when these experiences were, keep that at a distance and vague) where I’m only interested in the chemistry of what a girl and I are like together. And that’s true. I used Deida’s line about “making art” in terms of sexual chemistry. I told her a good sexual experience isn’t about the orgasm so much as it makes me in awe of the experience… and that’s cheesy, but it’s also true. I was in awe of the Virgin as she squirted on my face, and then held onto me after (she was beautiful and desperate about it), catching her breath. That was fucking sexy, and I’m not sure much of it even made my cock hard. She liked that, but I wasn’t trying to sell her on anything as I said it.
I touched her a lot. Hand behind her, across the back of her chair, most of the date. I grabbed her arm for emphasis several times (her wrist, her bicep). I did little demonstrations of “masculine/feminine,” and in one, she really lit up. I was trying to show her how “as the masculine goes forward, the feminine goes back.” And I pushed it a tiny bit, hand in her hair, other hand firmly on her wrist. Watching and moving up to her “line.” I pushed it just far enough to make her eyes pop open. And they did pop. And she was into it. And even though this was at the level of an exercise, when she lit up, I got turned on. I told her that. I told her, “you just got turned on, and then I got turned on.” And it was true. I could see it in her eyes. She agreed.
Not bad for a dinner date.
That’s when I knew I liked her. We have some heat between us. And this is why I think dinner dates are great for me. I can get a lot of work done at dinner… as long as I’m side by side.
The thing I liked most about the night was the chance to charm another girl. It’s not getting old. Not even close.
And the thing I’m most proud of was the way I calibrated with her through the night and the chemistry I was able to build. The way I moved in and out of her space. The way I turned up the psychological pressure, and then backed off, depending on where she was at and how much I thought she could handle.
This ability to move in and out with a woman… it builds trust.
“…to be extremely respectful of another person’s ecosystem, and what they’re experiencing… and the second it goes negative in any way, shape or form, you backing off. You are always aware of where she is at. And by the way, that again, will make you so great at meeting women. Because they sense that you are aware of them. And because they sense you are aware of them, there is no downside.
— RSD Tyler, from Hotseat at Home
As I got home tonight, Tyler’s quote was on my mind. I think that’s what she and I were up to tonight. And I think that’s also what the girls in NYC saw in me, and why I had trust, even if I didn’t have sex. Believe me, I’d trade some trust for some skin, but the trust building is its own set of skills and will serve me.
And while I was trustworthy, I showed a good mix of masculine and romantic on this date. All that physical stuff. Knowing how to be “aware of where she is at.” Several sexual spikes. I’m increasingly well trained.
When they turned the lights up a bit (breaking the mood-lighting they normally have in this place) it was time to go. We’d been there for three hours. Eating slowly. Talking. After the food was cleared, she wasn’t going anywhere. She sat there very happy, leaning on the countertop, letting me warp the tentacles of my “Octopus Game” around her.
I said, “c’mon, let’s go,” and we walked out into the night. She made a comment about an early meeting the next day, which was cool… I really had no plans to push the date further. I was not the slightest bit eager.
In that sense, it was unusual for me. I had set the Cheesecake Trap, but I didn’t even think to offer it to her. I told her to call herself a car, and told her I’d wait until it picked her up.
And then… I was thinking about how to kiss her. And about Yohami’s ramp.
I typically just mug the girl with a kiss attempt. I don’t expect (or need) it to work (even though it often does). The kiss landing isn’t even the point… it’s just a type of communication. So she knows this is about sex. So she’s clear this is man to woman, and that if she sees me again, she can expect more of the same. But I didn’t do that this time.
I was thinking about the ramp… how to “pre-load” her in a such a way that the kiss landing was a guarantee. How to “spike her” so she was ready, and then escalate with the kiss. To “take her at the flood,” as Tyler would say.
I could have said, “I love your eye contact right now,” which probably would have worked as the spike, and then kissed her. I could have just slowed down, and said, “I had a great time with you,” and given her some intensity via my eyes, and moved in. I saw a moment, but someone else stumbled out of the restaurant and almost walked into us. It was a bit rushed… and her car showed up. She gave me a great hug and took off.
So this is one of the only dates in a long time where I didn’t say “c’mere” and try to plant one on her. But I don’t think I needed it. I think I got the sex across very well on the date. I think I looked very “chill” and leaned-back on this date, more than normal. If I get her out again, the stage is set.
She had a good time. So did I.
And I’m very glad to see myself looking for the ramp. Jesus, I’ve dated almost 20 girls since Yohami first introduced me to that concept. And I’m finally looking for it when it matters. Finally trying to level up away from using the kiss as a “statement” and getting to the point where I can make it hit the first time, with control. That will be a quantum leap for me. I’m looking for it. I haven’t made that happen in a situation like this, but all the pieces are on the table now. It’s only a matter of time before I put them together when it counts.
And she… isn’t the type of girl that I “specialize in.” She is more American than Chinese. She beautiful on the outside, but not super feminine as she flows. She is business-y. She’s a bit of an extrovert, when I’m much more into introverts.
And in some ways, she reminds me of the Wine Girl – she and I had what I thought was a very good date, but she wouldn’t see me again. And the sex-vibe and the bubble was stronger with Wine Girl, maybe too strong as I tried to kiss her several times that night. I was very surprised I couldn’t get her out, and I doubt myself a bit more than before because of that experience.
Maybe this experience with the Scorpion will also end up in a sting.
Or maybe I blew myself out with the fake boob comment.
I’m not sure what will happen. We never know. “Maybe” we’ll get together next week. She’s a hot little girl. It seems like I fit the smart, older man that she likes to date. She fits the young, tasty girl profile that makes a grey wolf like me hungry.
And it’s gift to run into another young, hot girl that likes older men. She is a type. I am a type. Sometimes types fit together. If not her, another of her type, perhaps.
My education continues.
Hey man, I like how detailed you get with your writeups. Regarding dinner dates, I’m a stubborn dude so I never really payed attention to other player’s opinions when it comes to arbitrary sounding things like that. BUT. If your goal is to make progress towards the lay as quickly and smoothly as possible (maybe not, as you seem to enjoy the deep dive and feeling her out through conversation before getting to sex which is cool too) I’ve tried a bunch of different things and what seems to work best for me is light snacking, hopping from place to place fairly quickly (2 or 3 places in a night max) to introduce her to a specific special thing on the menu that I like (eg. ‘I love the homemade ice-cream at this place, they put little bits of crunchy granola at the bottom, we gotta try it’ ). The sheer momentum and spontaneity of it all, plus the constant unpredictable novelty for her of the dishes/drinks/place/whatever plus my charm makes it a very smooth, fun experience and very easy for her to say yes to the next unpredicted, novel experience of coming back to my place. When I did long dinners or even a long session of drinks in one place the energy just became too static and ‘comfortable’, if that makes any sense. Not good with a girl I’ve not slept with yet. That’s just my experience, anyway. I’m no guru, just trying a bunch of stuff like yourself. Regardless, I’m enjoying your blog man, your enthusiasm for the journey makes it fun to read. Keep up the good work!
I don’t kiss on the first date most of the time, per Blackdragon’s advice:
When I do, it’s because *I* want to, because the moment feels right, not because I’m doing it as some sort of ritual or tradition.
>> I’m not the wildest guy in the world, but I have no evidence that I give off a provider vibe. No girl has tried to make me a boyfriend in years (even though I’ve had multiple regulars).
But is it possible that the girls that you first date, that don’t get to a second date, or don’t get to sex, and never become regulars, see you as a provider, and that’s why they don’t let you escalate to sex sooner?
I don’t know. This stuff is hard. And what I learned last night from our meetup is that I know less than I think I do. It’s frustrating, because I want to be an expert already, and also frustrating because I see so many guys claiming that their way is the ONE TRUE WAY (Blackdragon is very guilty of this), and maybe there is no universal truth to Game.
I’ll take a longer read later, for now this:
“And then… I was thinking about how to kiss her. ”
That is tussle.
” “I had a great time with you,” and given her some intensity via my eyes, and moved in.”
That is tussle. I remember when it was the last time I tried that – some brit chick with a french look who was passing by in argentina. She was staying with a female friend. I took them for icecream, then on the way back the friend went upstairs and I held this chick back, to her amusement and surprise, I engaged in some rapport and said how nice it was to spend time with her, then some intense eye contact, then moved in, and got rejected (even though she liked me). Before that instance I also tried it a hundred times with other girls. It did work with some girls who already wanted to fuck me, so I didn’t see it clear up until that point – I was learning game now, and had contrast.
So what’s going on here is that you want the kiss to be special.
You’re “thinking about how to kiss her”
You “want to take her but you don’t want to screw things up”
You “want to do things with her but you don’t know if she likes you” and “you don’t want to be rejected”
All of which is beta frame or below. So even if you were doing ok and she was getting turned on – that move makes you a creep. You’re creating a wall. What is the wall?
“I had a great time with you”
Nobody gives a fuck about how good of a time you had, and there are so many layers of onion here.
– You are stating that you had a good time as a call for rapport “expressing deep feelings”
– You’re stating that you had a good time as an attempt to make her mirror you. This is what you’d like her to say.
– You’re giving free validation which can be conductive to putting her on a pedestal
– You’re making it about your emotions and how you feel. Women don’t care. Specially don’t care during the screening phase. The only thing they care about is how they feel, and how you make them feel.
So this moment wouldn’t be a creep moment on itself. I replaced the “I had a great time” with a nonverbal wink. When verbalized, I changed it to “this was fun (wink)”, usually when leaving her place after having sex.
But the creep is the intense stare
“given her some intensity via my eyes”
The phrase + the intense stare creates a wall.
What this is doing is repressing your energy and accumulating it on your end.
Because you’re not moving, and not pressing her buttons, that means it’s her turn to move.
What do you think she’ll do?
Would this make her jump into you and kiss you?
When you say the phrase and increase the intense stare, is she supposed to kiss you? what is she supposed to feel? or do? is it your turn to act, or hers?
What you are doing there is creating a vacuum, stopping the flow. You may not see it because the fact that you do a move like that, means for you this is congruent, which means the vacuum and repressing feeling is there for you all the time. Like it was for me back then.
So compare it to this.
If you have energy to say “I had a great time” and put some intensity on your eyes, use that energy to have her have a great time, and feel some intensity. How much energy is that and how long it takes to say the phrase – 5 to 10 seconds? use the same amount seconds like this:
– Tickle her (makes feel something, it’s kino, leads)
– When she laughs, bring her closer, if she doesn’t, tell her you want to smell her
– Hug her and smell her neck, compliment her smell
– “c’mere” and kiss her
Do you see the ramp there?
– Tickle initiates physical contact, she will react positively or negatively to that. If positive, escalate, if not, you can escalate and see what happens but
– Bring her closer. If she reacts positively to that, escalate. If she doesn’t, push her away (literally) and do push pull, “she smells like cheese sandwich”, tease or neg, and when she laughs, escalate. Im using “laugh” for these examples but the ioi can be other things
– Hug her and smell her neck. At this point this is the equivalent of fucking, you’re already in bed, and there’s no other possible end to this story. “you smell good” is a validation and a reward for her, it’s a reward for her compliance (always reward compliance). If she reacts positively escalate, if she doesn’t, hey, if she puts a wall HERE you are for a hell of a ride and she’s a monster tease, to treat accordingly
– Cmere, put your tongue in her mouth. If she reacts positively escalate, put your hand on her butt, if she reacts positively escalate, make out harder, if she reacts positively escalate, put a hand on her breast, if she reacts positively escalate, pull her close to your hips, if she reacts positively escalate, put your hand in her vagina, if she reacts positively… and if at any point you sense a wall coming, then you deflect and give space. And even after some iterations of escalation, retreat and give space, chill, enjoy.
Now – the “I had a great time, look at my intense stare”, put it in contrast. What is supposed to happen next?
The problem with having random success with moves like that, when you happen to find a girl who is already into you and doesn’t need to screen you, because she already knows, is that then you get fixated to bullshit and think the bullshit is what got you there.
In my case, I was a little repressed wannabe with romantic ideas. I needed to convey all of that before making a move because I thought I had to show myself to her so she could accept me. Then the whole thing was about getting her acceptance. With the brit/french girl I had this romantic notion that I had to make the kiss special, so I went to create a special moment, a “movie like moment”. But that’s not how women work.
How do women work? with their bodies. So tickle, pull, hug, smell, kiss, and fuck. They are slaves to their bodies. That’s how they have no defense when you know what to do with their bodies. That’s how you ‘sweep them off their feet’, that’s how they lose control. “touch them the right way'”. That’s why the kino 101 pickup crap was so important when I was learning. Watch tyler and the other RSD video guys. They are making out with a new girl in under 1 minute after meeting her. Check if they mention the great time they are having and doing intense silent stares.
It’s the opposite.
But specially like I said other times – this is a girl you picked up, because you want sex, and she said yes, because she wants sex, then you SMS and arrange a date, she dresses for the date, puts perfume, makeout, makes shure she looks hot, FOR YOU.
OF ALL THE OTHER MEN SHE COULD HAVE HAD THAT DAY.
She comes to you to give you a room to make your moves and she how she’d feel. But she already has envisioned and wondering what would it be to be fucked by you a hundred times. And she’s wondering how it’d feel to be savaged by you. Or she wouldn’t be there.
And you’re “thinking about how to kiss her”
And “not finding the right time to do so”
Or “not expecting my kiss to land but I communicate this is about sex so if she comes again she knows what’s up”
Do you see the disconnect?
Kiss her like someone you’ve kissed a million times already. If the mood or situation is not feeling like this is someone you’ve kissed a million times already, then make it your job to turn the situation into one that feels familiar, bring the “we’ve done this already” mood, bring the fun mood. That’s what I call “treat every girl like one of the girls you’re banging already”, this is also the “be natural”. This is not supposed to be a super special moment and have spikes and stuff, or even bubbles.
This is about you being the womanizer that knows how to deal with women, that’s the guy she came out to see.
That’s not the guy who ”wonders about how to kiss her”
Hope that helps.
It is now 4+ years later and…
I don’t think Yohami was reading me right back then in this case. I wasn’t trying to “make the kiss special.” That wasn’t it. I was into her (so it was real), but I was “going thru the structure” that intermediate guys know they need to do.
But I was trying to spike her.
And now, all these years later, so many girls, so many makeouts…
I STILL don’t aim to “turn the situation into one that feels familiar.” Nope. It’s always exciting.
It’s always “new.” It’s always “OMG.” It’s never “familiar” – not for the girls. These girls are almost always freaking out with tension. That is what I see, 4+ years later.
I still just “step in” and try to kiss her. I still do that. And maybe in that way I am agreeing with Yohami. I use ACTION when I step in, it’s physical. But I still want her to SEE ME GO FOR THE KISS, I don’t care if it lands… even as it often does. The important part is that she knows I can and will kiss her.
My common experience all these years and sooooo much experience later is that the first kiss only lands about 50% of the time (even if it lands 5 min later). And when she pushes me away… that is totally okay.
I kissed this new virgin girl 2 weeks ago… it took me 10+ tries. That was about her, not me. We got a little closer each time. Finally it landed. Then got her mouth to open. etc. She loved it. She was very turned on by the time she left.
What was going on? TENSION. I might give her “an intense look” and that is just to increase tension. And then… if I am cool with that tension, she learns a lot about me. She can hop around, whatever, doesn’t matter… I have seen it all (I have). And then I try again. Very high percentage lands on the 2nd/3rd (or for the virgin 13th) time. It’s me being cool with the tension that opens doors for me.
Spikes are fine. Saying something explicit is fine. Create tension. Then be good sitting in it – not laughing it off, not avoiding it. Create it, build it, let both of you sit in that tension. And test her to see what she can handle. “Swing your dick – give her more of what she wants, less of what she does want.” I agree with that, certainly.
“Or maybe I blew myself out with the fake boob comment”
<<< I don't think so… That is just you challenging her. I agree with Tom (Torero) that there must be some or other form of push, at some point. It can only backfire if it is evident that you are unsure of yourself or trying to be overly diplomatic or accommodating. Mostly agree with what Yohami says about her wanting sex and her picking you, and you going for the kiss because you feel like doing it. I have found that most of the time girls will forgive you escalating too aggressively too soon, but will not forgive letting an opportunity slip. I still struggle with this and I need to work on my persistence.
BTW, I have awkwardly started my own blog, so I won't have to steal yours for my stories (yup, it has that ugly name you dislike). With your permission:
Ok Nash, here, this is your answer
“I pushed it just far enough to make her eyes pop open. And they did pop. And she was into it.”
That’s how you kiss her – she specifically. That is what she responded to.
Usually in your writeups you identify the girls main characteristics, and how there was a special moment when something clicked. I pointed at these before calling them “the puzzle” but let’s replace that with the “ramp”. That thing where the special moment happened – that’s where you must escalate, as soon as it happen: there’s where you have to double down.
The play that let you to that place was the ‘swing dick’, and once the click happens (different with every chick) there’s where you must double down. In short, that was the moment to kiss her. And if you wanted to kiss her later, then simply recreate that moment.
All the dick swinging is to find one or more of these instances. That’s the whole courtship. You ping ping ping and eventually she’ll lit up. Double down when that happens.
Somehow you think that when it happens it’s a simulation, a game, or like you labeled it here, an ‘exercise’, like when you asked that other girl to reject you when you went for a kiss but she turned to be receptive to it (to your dismay :-)) – so, the thing that would help you become stronger here is to realize that what is happening, is actually happening. You ‘may not see it’ but it’s happening, because this aint about you, but about her and what she’s experiencing. The moment she was turned on – that was real. If you don’t take it, it’s gone.
“And even though this was at the level of an exercise”
Doesn’t compute. Courtship, the whole thing, is a roleplay, a forecast. A non-attractive guy doesn’t get the same result from doing that specific exercise.
“when she lit up”
It was real. Double down and take her.
“I got turned on”
“I told her”
Telling her that she got you turned on is anti game unless you at the same time act on it and take her. If you are turned on but you’re not making out with her, then you’re controlling yourself. Why.
Another game variation for telling her and not acting on it would be saying it as a tease. “wow, now you turned me on” and a shit eating grin and then command her to do something – some puas make her rotate or whatever.
But if there’s no escalation, then the verbalization is a replacement of the real thing – which would be anti game, and will cost you.
“I could see it in her eyes. She agreed.”
So that’s how you kiss her :-)
Cheers man, and kudos on all the mileage you’ve gotten.
brilliant stuff, yohami
“I touched her a lot. Hand behind her, across the back of her chair, most of the date. I grabbed her arm for emphasis several times (her wrist, her bicep). I did little demonstrations of “masculine/feminine,” and in one, she really lit up. I was trying to show her how “as the masculine goes forward, the feminine goes back.” And I pushed it a tiny bit, hand in her hair, other hand firmly on her wrist. Watching and moving up to her “line.” I pushed it just far enough to make her eyes pop open. And they did pop. And she was into it. And even though this was at the level of an exercise, when she lit up, I got turned on. I told her that. I told her, “you just got turned on, and then I got turned on.” And it was true. I could see it in her eyes. She agreed.”
yeah, good catch yohami, maybe that was a good moment to kiss her, when she “popped”?
i think between the two of you, with the amazing field reports and the great insights — together you can come up with a new and improved escalation model!
I agree man! Nash and Yohami should find a way to meet up (IRL or virtually), do a brain dump of their insights and also their field reports, and write a book which would be the next level in Game!
Both of them have unique insights, and what other guys in the dating world teach is based on old understandings so it would be a true update to get the Yohami-Nash model of seduction.
Please guys make it happen, find a way. The community of Men needs these insights codified and clarified in a book or product, and you guys will benefit a lot from clarifying your thought processes and having the synergy of sharing your perspectives not on small details only but on the whole things, the whole model that is in your minds but not verbalized, from beginning to close, from approach to post sex!
nash: i’m not into the “LA look”
girl: why not?
nash: i’m not into fake boobs
girl: i got fake boobs two months ago
nash: oh, then you and i are *not* gonna get along! ;-)
girl: *tingle* *wetness*
false disqualifier = playful conflict = pussy tingle
“attraction is in the push” -tom torero
[…] my comment on nash’s blog. […]
For the kiss, here’s what I do by default unless things get more spontaneous, like seeing the doggy dinner bowl eyes after telling an NLP story in venue 2. Gotta be careful you have logistics to kiss when you do something like that because that’s the window. First I wait for logistics (sitting side by side, unless a spontaneous moment calls for it – ex. I accused my Cincinnati girl of being a lesbian when she talked about getting a haircut, she said maybe she was, and I said let’s find out… we were walking at the time, I stopped her dead and kissed her). Next I ask about her first kiss and do some drive by kisses to tease and test if she’ll move away, where I move my face closer to and away from hers slowly, as she explains her first kiss story. I look at her lips, usually she will look at mine, then I move in. Sometimes I say something like let’s see if this is better, etc. “Love your eyes” is also standard and works for me as I pull her in.
That vacuum is funny. You’re walking on eggshells, unsure of your position, where to move next. She’s gotta react to you, but the way you want her to, and you can’t figure out the best way to do it in the moment. Been there alot, man. I like Yohami’s advice of some light kino because it gets you out of your head. If you’ve been doing kino and she’s been accepting it all night, it’ll be natural. Sometimes I’ll do the kino, and still the girl is not reacting the way I’d like. That was how my 2nd Norfolk insta-date chick was. Instead of racking my brain after that, I just cut it off as there was no point b/c she wasn’t playing along. Btw I always do Krauser’s poking and pulling at the strings on their clothes etc because it’s fun and easy.