I picked her up about a month ago (#9). She was after my daygame session, on my way home. Blonde, young, wearing some kind of a heel (maybe a boot?), and she had a snappy walk, slamming that heel into the sidewalk as she stormed down the street. In some ways… that was already a red flag.
Without rereading my notes, I remember what I said about her… I was over eager, a little hyper — which is surprising, as I’d been put hitting on girls all afternoon, I should have been calm, deep, warmed up. I walked her to her art class, and took her number… And she was kind of into me taking the number. I could tell. At first I figured I wouldn’t be able to get her out… because I was over eager. Then, I thought I might, as I remembered that she helped me close her, she was interested, and she texted back… for a bit.
Tried to text back then, she was responsive at first, and then not… Saying she was on deadline, and then disappearing. I didn’t work that lead that hard… I didn’t have to… it was good month. I was running a lot of street approaches, I had a lot of leads, no reason to wear this one out. And that is likely why I got her out tonight. The lead still had a little gas left in it.
Yesterday, a few weeks after I picked her up, in this dead space between Christmas and New Year’s, I was fishing for a date. Most of my favorites are out of town, including Firecracker and the Siren (both back in China).
I had come across the Blonde Asian in my phone a few days earlier, and it took me a second to remember who she was — which felt good. I have enough girls in my life that I don’t even remember the stale leads. That is a good thing. Go daygame.
I hit her up yesterday, in a flurry of other texts, fishing… and she responded.
I was trying to close for a date, and I was getting horny — I was looking for a proper date, opened ended, at night, so sex was a possibility. I suggested something, she said yes, but had plans later… Turned out she had her days confused. Thought “today” was New Year’s Eve. I pointed out that it was not… and she confessed I was right. And she looked a bit messy. We almost had a plan, and I left her with some choices I had offered earlier, options she had argued with, as she had the days wrong.
NASH: “Bar X or Bar Y. Dirty or fancy. Your choice.”
My impression of her is that she isn’t as cool as she comes off. Saying that another way, she tries to be a little tougher, a little cooler, a little more “secure” than she actually is. Her getting her dates wrong is one sign of that.
So this morning I wake up, and I don’t have a confirmation as to which bar… and I assume she is not totally sold. If I had said nothing, I am sure she would not have come out. So, rather than ask for a confirmation (which would feel needy to me), I go back to the negotiation.
I suggest a bite to eat first. I don’t care about the food… I want to confirm the date, and this is a way to get that confirmation (or not), without asking for it. It’s the same as saying “I’m going to be a little late, let’s do 9 instead.” The details don’t have to matter, but this gives you a way to reengage, without asking the question a second time.
She does respond, saying she has plans, but suggests drinks after all:
HER: Ooh I love ramen but my friend surprised me with concert tickets. Would you like to get drinks around 7:30 downtown?
Hmmm, okay good. I like that. That is more than many girls would offer.
Meanwhile… as I said, I’m ready for some sex, so I was in negotiations with a Japanese girl I met last week for tonight as well, and that fell through. So I scheduled a date with the J-girl for next week (she is insisting on lunch…), and confirmed with the Blonde Asian for tonight. Fine. I also set up a final sex date w/ the Velvet Mouth for the day before I leave for Japan.
The Blonde is there right on time, and I am 1 minute late… not sure I will recognize her. But there she is.
I see the blonde hair. It’s over-died, and a little ratty. Unhealthy, from all the bleaching. She has a big butt, in an unusual cut of jeans… very hipster, not super attractive. Again, this is the “not quite as cool as she thinks she is” look going on. I’m not really that impressed. Part of all this feels “young” to me. I am guessing she is 25… and not that polished.
I come along side of her, and look at her… It’s been a month since we met (and that was 2 minutes on the sidewalk). She’s not sure it’s me. I say hello. I ask if she hugs, and she gives me a weak yes, so I give her a small hug.
The date starts.
It takes a minute, but we get a seat at the bar… and then… 15 minutes before they pour us a drink. The bartenders are fucking around, taking shots, cleaning up the bar, nobody is getting served, it makes for an awkward start. Lots of silence as we try to make sure we can flag down the bartender. Not great.
She is… stand offish. She is bitchy. Very little grace from this one. I am doing okay, probably better than average, but she is the “American” kind of Asian, in the sense that American girls suck, just like all Western girls. She’s that kind. Ahhh. I like this city, but it is true… I date almost exclusively “foreign” girls. Western girls do suck. The manosphere is right about that.
She is a “rich” girl, and I am not talking about her wallet. She knows some stuff. She has her BA in literature. She has a masters as well, from a big time school here in the area. She is from Korea, but has lived in multiple cultures (because of her dad’s job). Her family sounds smart. She a bitch, but not an empty one. She has content. If she was just a bitch… I might have walked out on her.
She is talking about her Halloween costume at one point, and she mentions this particular inspiration, and the word “patriarchy” comes out of her mouth. She never used the word “feminist” but she did use the word “activist” and all of that is more red flag for me. She does this in the context of what I would call “punk.” I move the conversation to “punk” and I tell her that punk means “fuck you” to me. That that is the essence of punk. That I have some “fuck you” in me too. And she doesn’t argue with that. I get the feeling she might be of the Social Justice School of Get the Fuck Away From Me… I feel like I have dodged a conversational bullet.
Meanwhile, she has taken off her coat, and is wearing something “concert ready,” showing some skin, and I like that part. Call me crazy. Her hair may be fried, but her face is beautiful, despite more makeup than most of the girls I am dating. Great eyes. Very kissable lips. Very kissable. I would. That and more. She is interesting, even if she is tougher and more contrarian than I want. All of this is my incentive.
We talk art, and she knows a lot about it. And we get in some light disagreement about the definition of art… and I don’t back down. I play with her about it. Tell her what I think art is about. More lip from her. Bahh. This is what she’s like.
Later in the conversation, she tells me that she thinks the same way about punk as I do. I mention this, as this girl is obviously not a “charmer” that is trying to kiss my ass. But here she is, almost complimenting me. That is probably much better than most men do with her.
I never touch her, the whole date. We are relatively close, but it’s not that kind of date. Yes, I would kiss her, fuck her… but in the space of the date, it wasn’t there for me. I touch every girl, and other than the hug, it just wasn’t that kind of date.
Next week… I am planning on writing a post about “types of girls.” I am already working on it. And as a preview of that post, I will say that Janka talks about how one of his “types” is the “Bitchy Girl.” She is that kind of girl.
Janka says that the way you deal with that kind of girl, is escalate fast and hard. You fuck her. That she will see everything else as weakness. I agree with his assessment. I may have already missed my window… but if I see her again, that is the plan.
This date is going “okay”… but it is still the worst date I’ve had this year. I am being real. We had our moments. I’m not unproud of myself. The best things I am doing are 1. Holding super solid eye contact with her. And 2. Not agreeing with her or backing down when she shows strength. I do okay making her tell some things about herself, as a type of qualifying. That went okay.
So I decide to play with the date… why keep plodding along? I would rather fuck with it, and have it go someplace or blow up, than be “polite” and bore both of us to death.
So I tell her I am going to change the topic, and I start talking to her about surrender. I tell her that when two people meet, they are part real and part presentation. And that I see her being real, I do, but I also see presentation… not that she is being fake, but that I get this “tough” part. She nods… I have her a little bit here. This “punk” part. She is paying attention. I can see the “fuck you” in the way she is presenting to me (calling back to our conversation about “punk”). More agreement. And I ask what surrender means to her?
I like that. I bet very few men have ever taken her bitchy attitude and played with it like that. In some ways, this is what I did w/ the Older Chinese Girl last Thu… refused to play her boring game, and played my game instead. In both cases, it clearly moved the date in a positive direction.
Her response was… whatever. Kind of more of the same. But I did see some moments of realness in the way she held my eye contact. We stared each other down some.
About an hour+ into it, she checks her phone. She says he friends are coming to the bar we are at… and she says “I am going to hang out with them.” And I say, “Are you kicking me out?,” and I smile. And she says, “No, no… but they are coming here… you can hang out.” All of this kind of sucks. More of the same.
Somehow we talk about her experience as a girl… and she says that she almost didn’t come out with me, that she thought I might be a “douche bag.” And I say, “Ha! So? Am I a douche bag?” And I smile. Haha. And she says no, but she can feel my stubbornness. Like that line I quoted above (“Bar X or Bar Y….”). This was her reference to her/my back and forth as we settled on a place and time. But she says she came out because she liked how bold I was when I approached. And she liked how persistent I was about getting the date. And I could see in her eyes that she was real about that. I tease her some more, that next time I’ll try a little harder to get my full douche bag rating. She laughs.
But to point to Yohami’s “puzzle:” She likes bold. She likes persistent. Of course she does. She is kind of a cunt. And she needs to get “crushed,” or you’ll never see her soft side. I have no interest in her shell.
(I think this is the first time I have ever called a girl a cunt on this blog. I don’t say that casually.)
Anyway… her friends are coming. And the last thing I want is to be outgunned in that situation. Trying to charm them, when this girl isn’t completely charmed. So I stand up. I say, “come here” and I hug her again, and I split.
Chasing this girl will do nothing but ruin my vibe. I know that.
So… I won’t chase her. I won’t text her. If she texts me, great. But if not, fuck that.
I’m going to Japan, and she knows it. If I feel like it, I can try her when I get back, in 6 weeks. That could have a chance of working, without me looking like I am chasing her.
If that girl could surrender, I think she could be fun. Perhaps delicious. I would love to see that, actually. She reminds me of Best Kisser Ever, who is also Korean, also has a chip on her shoulder, and is a great kiss/lay… if you can crush her and take what you want. I learned a lot from Best Kisser Ever.
If I see her again, I’ll insist on a late night. I’ll start with a shot, even if she won’t join me. And I’ll move on her physically hard/fast. And if she doesn’t like it, fine with me, she can leave.
That’s the plan.
She is cute. I like things about her. I’d like to fuck her… and see her surrender. But she is a bitch. Maybe it’s an act? I did okay today, and saw a decent side of her… but it wasn’t easy. And I won’t treat her like other girls, as she’ll hate me for it. Janka is right.