First Date with Miss Researcher || Attraction Switches
She was on my plane back from DC. I was window, she was aisle.
She is Chinese. Late 20s… Maybe 29? Plain, glasses, jeans and tshirt kind of girl, excellent body and stimulating smile. As she was getting adjusted, we made eye contact several times. Clear IOIs. As she lifted her bag up to the space above her seat… a precious inch of belly was exposed and she had my full attention. More eye contact… and then an 50+ Asian woman sat between us, like a chaperone, and the magic was dampened for the length of the flight.
More eye contact and smiles as we de-board. As she is on the aisle, she has a headstart as we leave the plane, but… she lingers as she pulls her bag toward the terminal. This is a girl running game… intentionally being the slow one, in the back of the herd, hoping the lion catches her. So I do. Sinking my fangs into her thigh and dropping her into the tall, Sahara grass. My first taste of her.
I open her “indirect” but the chemistry is obvious by now. She is arriving at “home,” having just moved here from Virginia, where she was for the weekend, picking up some of her stuff (or so she said). I lead her toward the baggage area, chatting a little. She is not super-hot or beautiful, but I am already very interested, nice genetic-tug and great chemistry. We’re at a full boil as we get to the claim area and it’s time for me to go. So I tell her I want to see her again and she closes easily. I feel the tornado pulse with new energy.
I text a bit when I get home to cement it (mixing texts between her and the New Thai Girl).
I lay off for a couple of days and then we have this exchange via text:
NASH: Hey Pretty Girl… Happy Tuesday.
NASH: You’re on my mind today…
MISS RESEARCHER: Hey glad to hear from you. hope you had a happy and nice day so far. Thanks for thinking about me, …but I have a boyfriend already :)
NASH: : ]
See. Here we have yet another one. Fully flirting and baiting me on the plane. Wanting to be caught as we arrive. Very sexy, enthusiastic close. And now… now… now, suddenly, she remembers the boyfriend. Of course, I don’t take it seriously.
I do not target girls in relationships… but at least 50% of the girls I date are involved with someone. And they rarely if ever tell me right away. At least this one told me before the date. Or before the makeout. This is what girls are like. At least from a player’s POV.
(Although, I do think there could be something unique to daygame that opens these girls to us. The bold approach… I’m still working this out. But girls with boyfriends… bread and butter.)
I like girls more and more as I get to know them. I don’t really “trust” them, in the sense of loyalty, but I love them. They’re incredibly interesting to me. The running around on their boyfriends included.
But no… no, I don’t want to be the boyfriend anytime soon. I have first-hand knowledge of what happens when the boyfriend is not looking… and it’s no Disney movie, my friends.
MISS RESEARCHER: Sorry…
NASH: Don’t be sorry.
NASH: I can tell you like me… even if you have a BF.
I don’t know if I like that comment… but it felt right at the time. It could either help crush her frame… or start an argument. In this case, it was fine.
NASH: Where does he live??
MISS RESEARCHER: He is in Virginia.
NASH: Yeah, okay.
Okay… no problem. On with the show.
NASH: Thank you for telling me…
NASH: But I still like you.
NASH: It’s your fault, actually…
MISS RESEARCHER: Thank you for liking me :)
NASH: Its that’s smile…
NASH: I can still see it.
NASH: And you were very cute when I took your number…
NASH: All very attractive to a man like me.
MISS RESEARCHER: Thanks, hope these little moments can brighten your day :)
She really loved the number close at the airport. It was all over her face. I loved it too. It was hot chemistry.
And she is loving this exchange. She is loving being hunted. She wants to get caught.
NASH: Okay… Well…
NASH: You are new to the area…
NASH: So “inexperienced”
NASH: Come into the city on Saturday…
NASH: I’ll take you on a little adventure…
NASH: 4 PM.
MISS RESEARCHER: Thanks for the invitation. It is tempting, but maybe it is not such a good idea for me to see you ;)
Token resistance. She is literally winking at me in that text.
NASH: : ]
NASH: You are so cute.
NASH: Well… How about this…
NASH: No matter how much you “beg,” I won’t give you a tour of… My bedroom. : ]
NASH: It’s very nice… I have a great painting I did in my room… But you won’t see it on Saturday.
NASH: This will be a safe little adventure…
NASH: We’ll have fun, I’m sure… But if you don’t like it, you don’t have to talk to me again.
NASH: : ]
MISS RESEARCHER: Sorry nah.. I want to be loyal to my BF and resist you, haha.
Where did all the cute Asian girls learn this “naw” thing? I’m hearing this a lot from them. Again, the loyalty is joke… even for her.
NASH: You’re enjoying this!!
NASH: You’re so bad… : ]
NASH: This has nothing to do with your BF… You have a real relationship with him and I won’t get in the way of that. I respect that.
This is me going into my own “boyfriend destroyer” stuff. He’s long distance. I’m not really taking him seriously. Time to play through. I really don’t want to break them up… but I want I want a piece of her. I think it’s available.
NASH: This… Is about a fun, rainy afternoon learning about your new city.
NASH: How old are you? 27?
MISS RESEARCHER: Ok ok you are right.
Oh. She’s on her back now.
NASH: : ]
NASH: Okay… 4 PM. I’ll meet you downtown and take you to some great places… You’ll have a good time.
NASH: And if you promise to keep your clothes on all day… I will too!
MISS RESEARCHER: Alright sounds good. Thanks for being so nice to me.
This is my favorite kind of girl… she doesn’t even ask where I’m taking her. That’s a great sign of compliance and of her being the kind of girl that is happy to follow my lead without questions. I love it.
MISS RESEARCHER: Lol
MISS RESEARCHER: OK!
NASH: I’m not nice… I’m terrible… But there was something about you that made me interested.
NASH: : ]
I do this consistently, never letting a girl set a “nice” or “sweet” frame for me. I always reframe those comments, immediately, with some disqualifying comment of my own.
NASH: I’ll say “hi” on Saturday morning… And we’ll pick a place to meet.
MISS RESEARCHER: Sounds good!
NASH: Okay… Thanks for being open minded.
She loves getting caught. I am trying to set more frames of “open mindedness.” Some of this frame stuff I got from Sinn’s hero, Captain Jack. Some more recently from the Love Systems guys… more on that below.
NASH: I’m looking fwd to some time with you.
NASH: Have a great week!
MISS RESEARCHER: :) same here! Look forward to seeing you! Have a great week!
Okay, done. I will take a little bit of credit for confidence and game here. I think she was a yes girl, but she acted like a maybe, and I made it happen.
She came out on the date. I had a great time with her.
Meanwhile… I love to study. And I have been listening to a lot of Love Systems stuff recently. Not because I like them particularly… they are they direct spawn of Mystery, and a little too old school for me in some ways. But… I can’t deny that many of them have real talent. Braddock is amazing. Fadar’s talk on frames is fucking legendary, pure gold. He is a genius. The more I study them, they more I learn to respect their school of game. No one talks about them, but they are for real.
I listened to an interesting talk by this guy Bullet. Older dude. Older than me, even. And he mentions the “attraction switches.” So just for fun… I’m going to recap my date using their attraction switches as a point of reference.
1. Looks And Health.
I am in decent shape, maybe especially for my age. My pool is closed for the month, so I have swam maybe 1 time in 20 days… that sucks, but it takes a while to fall apart, so I’m fine there. I have a fresh haircut and a decent head of hair, the grey blending with the blonde pretty well. I like my style, but it is not what most people would recommend for a dude in his 40s. I don’t like mature style at all. Fuck suits. Fuck sport jackets. Triple fuck loafers and fancy watches and cigars and all that old guys shit. I said in one of my DC posts that I think I’m rocking an artsy outlaw look… all black, skate shoes, black thumb ring, leather bracelet. I club a couple nights of week because I love to dance, I’m a street artist, I’ve been to Burning Man 7 times… this fits my lifestyle. How I make my money and what my image is off the clock are completely unrelated. And I like my look — it’s not typical and it suits me.
2. Social Intelligence
As I said in my Extreme Social Savvy post, I think daygame has really helped me here, as it’s helps all of us that work consistently. And I have studied game for about 10 years now… I have learned a lot. I have also approached maybe 7000 girls at this stage of my game?? 5000+ before daygame, and 1000+ in daygame since. And I have been a student of psychology my whole life. My library is deep and properly dog-eared. I know she was impressed with my theory and “mastery topics” (another Love Systems concept, from a talk on daygame by Soul). She was very impressed with my social knowledge and we talked about those kinds of topics all night. This was the meat of the date, actually. Of course I was slick with her in personal as well.
I don’t think I was that funny, but she saw some of this. I was funny in our text battle a bunch of times. She is very smart, a researcher at a major university, studying something about genetics. Our date was more about intellect, and she and I are well matched in terms of raw brain power. Firecracker is very smart too, but she’s in fashion, and her and my relationship is much more about teasing and joking and banter and wit. Miss Researcher and I are more about dominance and theory… humor isn’t as relevant, but I can do that if I need to.
4. Social Status
I took her on a great date. The same date I took Taiwanese Girl on, actually. And we went to this tea shop, because I wanted to buy some special tea, but also because I know it’s a great date moment… Miss NYU took me here years ago, and I was impressed, and I’ve used this spot over and over since then. Anyway, the owner is a very cool, hip Chinese dude. Super funny. And he has seen me enough over the years that he recognizes me. And I pumped his status and value as I saw him, introducing him to Miss Researcher, and he gave us an amazing tasting, giving us a lot of time, attention and samples. Miss Researcher is from China, and he was speaking Mandarin, and all this is good for her too. And another couple joined us, and I roped them into the vibe, and it was slick, they bought into the frame we had set up. I was completely strung out on caffeine by the end of it, but I know this landed for her. I am slick with folks in bars and restaurants, and I’m sure I did well here.
I had her meet me downtown, and I got us warmed up by talking about her day. But we quickly moved to my job, and she knows I’m a consultant. She is the type that is expert at turning the date back around on me and my life. In fact, I always talk a lot, but she got me talking about me… in a way most girls never do. Most girls know very little about me, as I talk about them most of the time. I had to work to get her to talk about herself. But with her asking about me, she got to hear about my business and I was able to mention that I’m doing well several times. Little DHVs here and there.
Yeah. The approach. The close. Killing the boyfriend resistance. I’m very consistent vs my style of approach. Usually I can start relatively strong and then continue through the date. To critique myself here, Yohami would point out I miss opportunities for sex a lot… and that is a lack of vision, and a lack of confidence. So… for her, and pre-sexual close, I’m pretty strong here. But in terms of closing for sex, I have a lot of room to improve. Part of that is indeed vision… part is a lack of killer instinct.
She hasn’t seen me around girls much. I was able to tell some stories about being with other women. I mentioned some girls that were great lovers, as part of stories about attraction and gender, which are topics I really love and know a lot about. She knows I’ve lived with a woman. She and I were in line for the bathroom at one point, and she was first, and while I waited for her to come out, I opened the little Asian girl behind me in line, and was chatting with her and making her laugh when Miss Researcher came out of the bathroom… I thought I spotted a bit of jealous tension in her face. I wasn’t trying to make her jealous, but she did see that much of me in action with another Asian girl.
I’m very congruent. I’m very real, so its easy to be congruent. The only time I think I really flinched was when she wouldn’t agree to come back to my place after dinner. 1 moment. Maybe 1 minute, when I was less solid than the rest of the date. 5% flustered. I then moved us to yet another venue, our 4th of the day, light desert, and we were back on track and I was the man she’s known all along.
Okay… so I think the girl was charmed. It was a great date. And I did well on the Love Systems switches, if that’s any measure.
So at dinner, we’re talking about power and gender dynamics — really great conversation. She is being very feminine. I have been demo’ing masculine/feminine dynamics for the last hour, and I’m on a rant about how female power is very real and not recognized, and she is resisting that idea, talking about how in the Sciences, she wishes she had more of a masculine core. And I bring up Dangerous Beauty as a movie that shows how powerful pure feminine essence can be… and I tell her I want to take her back to my house to watch it.
And she has tried to say this is just a “friends date” at least once in the adventure. And I shut that down, with a big smile, telling her I didn’t care what she called it, but it was very man to woman for me. And she would accept that, and agree. I grab her by her wrists for emphasis throughout the date. I’ve been obviously sexual all night. She takes dominance well.
It was warm in the restaurant, but her nipples were hard enough to see them thru her bra and tshirt.
But she wouldn’t kiss me. And when I said she should come back she gave me a big knowing smile and said no. That was when I got frazzled for that minute. And while we waited for the bathroom, at one point I put a hand on her upper back, and one on her chest below her neck (something I do all the time with women), and she pulled my hands away. She had boundaries.
So we’re in the car now… the plan is to drop me off at my house, and then the car will take her to the train station from there.
I clear everything out between us she and I, we’re sitting very close and she likes it, and I repeat the offer. That she should come to my house and we’ll watch that movie, and eat cheesecake (the trap was set, as always), and pet the cats. And she says no… but the objection now is just that it is late, no mention of the boyfriend.
I purposely didn’t make any sexual threats… in part because there was something about this date that wasn’t like most of my recent dates (maybe because she is older, and very smart, more mature). But also as Yohami keeps kicking my ass about how I blow plausible deniably when I do that. I listened this time.
So we’re about 1/2 mile from my house, and I go for another kiss. Denied again. But she’s loving it. And she keeps saying, “Next time, next time.”
And she’s gone. And I smile and walk upstairs to my clean house, my fresh white sheets (Firecracker was in my bed that morning, but I had changed them after she left). And I have cheesecake alone and smile about another interesting experience. I have a beer and some smoke and pass out. Wake up smiling… but horny.
We texted some today… I’ll see her again. I bet she’ll fall. I am looking forward to fucking that girl. I have a feeling the sex will be simple, but satisfying.
But who knows… maybe she is freak? There is no such thing as a “good girl.” Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. All lessons from this Fall.
great post! killer text game, my man.