First Date w/ Miss Sincere || Asian Girls, White Guys
She is a young Korean girl. I picked her up last week, on Tuesday. She was #10 that day.
First text, another affirmative compliment from me, she said “thanks.” Okay. I was thinking this would go no place… that wasn’t a very enthusiastic response.
Second text, was an invite to dinner. She said she wasn’t sure if she was “into this or not.” I told her I liked her honesty, repeated the offer.
Third round, she responded the next morning, saying “As long as you’re not dangerous.” I said I am a little dangerous, but not for girls with her job (a reference to something she said about her work). She wanted more details about dinner. I played with it. She agreed. I wished her a nice weekend, and she returned the comment… was very sweet about it. It made me like her.
Today, forth round, I pump some enthusiasm into the date confirmation. She says she’s not feeling well, and that she looks terrible today, that she’s not wearing makeup. That’s a lot of candidness and detail for a girl that knows nothing about me. Something about that I liked as well… she was sincere. She’s been sincere the whole time. Honest. A little vulnerable. I like all that.
I tell her that if I am going to like her, it won’t be because of her makeup. We laugh, and she agrees to come out after all. I’m having a good week and I feel confident.
She shows up. She’s tall, almost my height (maybe she is 5’9″?). I think she is about 27. If she’s not wearing makeup, I can’t tell. She has great skin. She is simple, but very pretty. She’s dressed in all black, with a big sweatshirt, jeans, and black combat boots… and her short haircut with the pink tips. No jewelry, except the black ring she was wearing when I met her. She looks like she has some hips… she’s not tiny… maybe a “full stack” in the ass department. I’m into her… just the way she is.
She walks in, a little ahead of me, kind of cold. We sit. She’s the coldest girl I’ve dated this year. I feel myself having to work a bit, to get things going. I turn on my personal brand of conversational magic… I think I could talk to anyone (any girl) for a full night, almost no matter where she is coming from.
There are moments when I just let us go silent. And other times, when I talk in a very low volume voice… don’t know why, just felt right, like I was matching her low-energy.
She warms up. It feels like a normal date before it’s over. We finished some noodles and I ask how she’s doing? If she’s interested in another drink? She smiles and says yes.
A bar. Drinks. Sitting side by side in a booth… watching this lesbian couple makeout. I’m talking about it.
I am touching her a bunch.
At one point, we’re talking about guys/girls… and she says that once, when she was new to town, all these guys were hitting on her, but they were holding back, trying to decide if “she was good enough.” I tell her I know guys better than that. That they were nervous, and didn’t want to be rejected. That most guys can’t handle rejection. And to demonstrate… I try to kiss her, and she pushes me away (ha, I’m learning to love that part), and I say “See… that is me, completely comfortable with rejection.” And I smile, and lean back. And she smiles too.
And she talks to me about white guys that are into Asian women. And she says, in a very cute Korean accent, that she and her girlfriends think that white guys like “an Asian,” because she’s Asian, and that they will date “any Asian.”
And I say, oh, I love that, and that this is an easy one for me, as I am a guy that does like Asian women (which is massively true for me)… and I say, “You’re submissive, right?” And I expect her to say no, and that will help me prove my point that not all Asian girls are the same… but she says, “Yes.” Oh. And I’m not certain if she knew what I was saying or not? She kind of took it back, after my reaction. But I think she is, in fact, submissive… which is great, but not what I necessarily like about Asian women (I like them all for different reason, Jesus, but yeah I have a thing for that look, and submissive is great too, but that’s not my point… I say all this). She’s indirectly kicking my tires. I’m sure I passed that particular test.
We have an interesting moment when I am making some comments about how I picked her up, and she tells me that I am very good at conversation. That she was, in fact, trying to tell me that she was not interested, but that I was too good at talking, and I was so comfortable, that she didn’t leave. And that she never gives her number to guys, never, never ever, on the street. And that she is surprised she gave it to me. Hmmm. Okay.
And I will say I have been thinking about the concept of “trance words.” One definition is:
“The words she puts particular emphasis on or repeats frequently are her so-called trance words.”
This girl… “lonely.” And “the one.” Those came up a bit. So I would say she is a little on the sad side (the emphasis on lonely) and into a classic vision of relationships (emphasis on “the one”). I told her I think she’s a romantic.
And I tried to kiss her, in one form or another, several more times. And I incorporated that into the conversation. Saying that it’s my job to show her I like her in that way, and that, as she noticed, I will pay attention if she’s not ready, and all that is a sign of communication.
I was thinking of the conversation with Yohami in the comments about comfort and what a girl wants. I was saying that yes, girls want to be comfortable, but that a lot of times a girl wants excitement… and that that won’t be comfortable. I am thinking of this with Miss Sincere, and I sort of fake a kiss attempt again, and pull on her short, pink-tipped hair. And I say, “See, you’re a bit uncomfortable, but you like it. And I like watching you be a bit uncomfortable.” And I do. And she likes all of this. And I keep leaning way back, almost out of the booth after each of these “demonstations,” to make sure she feels the full release, as much as the tension. I can tell she feels both.
I had a good time with it.
And we talked about sex a bit… less than I normally would, as she is no race car. Lost her virginity at 21, smiled and said she didn’t want to talk more about it. She has pink nipples — I guessed, she confirmed. She has never kissed a girl, nor does she want to. I believe her. She said she is not that into receiving oral sex. I guessed that that was at least in part because she is just nervous about it. She agreed. I told her I lost my train of thought, that going down on her was all I could think about… which was true. She smiled.
I have thought a lot about this… and especially with this girl, I think a little sex talk will go a long way to making her comfortable with sex. And since Yohami/Riv/I have been talking about timing and comfort… she explicitly said that she doesn’t like to kiss on the first date, that it takes some time to develop feelings. It’s not entirely up to her… but there is some feedback on that topic from a real live girl.
Hmmmm. I am attracted to her. Not wildly so, but certainly. I think she is likely a little sad, but maybe in an alluring way. I would like to see her again, but won’t lose a lot of sleep if I don’t. I wonder what she looks like under that sweatshirt??
Women are so interesting. I want experiences. I want experience.
I have a date with the Thai girl tomorrow night.
I am going daygaming tomorrow.
On with the show… viva daygame.
Very interesting. This one is slower, reflexive and submissive. Is she an ugly duck? not that she’s ugly physically – the vibe I get from the story is she’s not a fit for this world, she’s lonely inside.
“I said I am a little dangerous”
“She says she’s not feeling well, and that she looks terrible today, that she’s not wearing makeup.”
Chances are she’s in this mood a lot. Again, this is a sexual setup, and she’s telling the guy who is going to fuck her, in advance, that the experience will be lackluster. That’s the puzzle for you. Be ready to navigate a pale chessboard with not a lot of up and downs and lots of meh, if that’s your thing.
So what you did “Im going to like you anyway” is fine, thats what I’d have done. Bear in mind though that your enthusiasm is not going to light her up and make her feel beautiful and be more like Firecraker or other girls, you’re not going to change her, you’re going to be asked to fit in. At some point you’ll have to decide if this is good enough for you. She gave you more indication of this later.
“And other times, when I talk in a very low volume voice… don’t know why, just felt right, like I was matching her low-energy.”
Of all the things this is the best insight. This is what I mean with “pay attention to what she responds to”, “what she wants”, “do more of what works, less of what doesnt”
Follow that thing. That thing you felt when you lowered the voice and went into whatever you were talking about, and she clicked. Double down in that side of you, and do less of the other things that didnt click. This “low energy” road is actually the high road, and what could have you gotten laid that night, while the “let’s kiss her once and again” that’s she’s offering resistance to, is the slow road and where the wall is.
Makes sense? “what she wants” is the path.
“guys were hitting on her, but they were holding back, trying to decide if “she was good enough.””
You brought her back to “reality” and your frame, which is right, but pay attention to what she is telling you, because that’s her puzzle. Tie it up with what I brought up earlier. This is what’s real for her. Men hold it back because they are trying to determine if she’s enough. Regardless of what you do, this is where she fits you in, this is how she’ll respond to it. This is the roleplay. You evaluate her and hold back trying to determine if she’s good enough. That’s her game, and you’ve been invited.
“You’re submissive, right?”
That’s a golden accident. She answered Yes from a sexual point of view. Now you know that being low energy dominant is the key to open her.
“I’m sure I passed that particular test.”
Instead of taking it back, double down since that’s what she responded to. I would have asked more about her submissiveness and what she likes to be dominated on, all with low energy deep voice and slow dominant passing my fingers on her hands. The I’d savaged her, in a boring way like she likes it.
“she explicitly said that she doesn’t like to kiss on the first date, that it takes some time to develop feelings. ”
She wants to develop feelings before having sex – she’s submissive and plain, and if Im right, peculiarly unfit for this world and lonely inside. You’ve got a weirdo, be super aware. Since she wants feelings forming upfront to the sex, she’ll likely want commitment and investment, it’s likely she havent fuck alpha-alphas (unfit socially, other girls take the prize, she’s relegated to second line, men are not sure about her, she needs a lot of reassuring, she wont take the reassuring and will go back to this spot)
“Hmmmm. I am attracted to her. Not wildly so, but certainly. I think she is likely a little sad, but maybe in an alluring way. I would like to see her again, but won’t lose a lot of sleep if I don’t. I wonder what she looks like under that sweatshirt??”
Funny right? she got you where she wanted, allured but uncertain. Now if you go for it there will be the windows alerts from her “but are you sure?” “are you sure press OK” “is this what you want?” “if so why is this what you want?” “but did you read the disclaimer?” “this file is potentially toxic or boring or wont be a good use of your mouse activity” or whatever, if you push through it you’ll end up asking yourself if it was worth it, because that’s the point. She’ll get the validation of you pushing through it, and then the validation that there’s something off in her when you question yourself.
Or maybe Im wrong but when has that ever happened?
Happy for you man.
>> Again, this is a sexual setup, and she’s telling the guy who is going to fuck her, in advance, that the experience will be lackluster.
Yohami… will you email me? Nash (*) daysofgame.com. I want to send you something.
This post, and your response, is some of the “creepiest” analysis I’ve ever seen you do. I mean that in a very complimentary way. You’re not creepy, but this situation is, and you have a dark, but very accurate read, IMHO. Fascinating. I got you started, but I think you’re shoving me in the right direction.
>> >> Again, this is a sexual setup, and she’s telling the guy who is going to fuck her, in advance, that the experience will be lackluster.
These guys I know call this the “early frame announcement.” This may be a perfect example of a girl doing this. “I’m not good enough.” It came out early, and you’re right, she beat that drum all night long… because she wants me to get who she is. This *is* her puzzle.
>> Funny right? she got you where she wanted, allured but uncertain.
Yeah. Wow. Not the front of her brain… but that twisted part of all of us… she took me there fast.
>> if you push through it you’ll end up asking yourself if it was worth it, because that’s the point. She’ll get the validation of you pushing through it, and then the validation that there’s something off in her when you question yourself.
Yeah. After the texts from her today, I know I want to see her again. And she was something like “happy” today, lighter. But, still, that “am I good” was explicit in the texts…
NASH: No makeup… you’ll have to be extra charming
HER: That’s pressure
NASH: I know… it’s fun, huh?!
This ^ was us last night.
And then today…
NASH: You’re on my mind this morning.
NASH: I had a good time with you… even without makeup. : ]
HER: Haha :) I had a great time too
HER: So I guess I was extra charming
>> you’ll end up asking yourself if it was worth it, because that’s the point.
Assuming she is in the ballpark of where we think she is… I think I’ll like the experience. This isn’t about happiness for me. Yes, I have a good time, but I really love the study. Of her. Of me. Of all of us. If she’s not a psychopath, I’ll “appreciate this.”
But “because that’s the point” is the extra layer for me to see/study. In her world, people judge her, she’s an outsider, not good enough (maybe). She will put me thru that frame. If I really want to see, I should look there.
Hey… if it helps paint the picture:
— She has a technical job, “boys job”
— She does a job similar to what her Dad does
— She went to HS here, but is from Korea… so I’m assuming boarding school (lonely)
— She’s into math, she’s good at her job (and likes her manager)
— She isn’t masculine at all…
— She had a BF for a long time, and it took him a very long to kiss her
— She complained to him that he couldn’t give her enough attention, she wanted to marry him
— I get the feeling she comes from money…
I think it’s clear she’s low self esteem. I think that’s true. I’m tying all this to her dad somehow…
I can’t believe I didn’t ask her about siblings, I always ask about that… but for now, I don’t know.
One last thing for now…
— She said she doesn’t like receiving oral sex
I have a theory that that correlates closely with self esteem. Not only is that a pretty vulnerable thing to receive, but it takes a little bit of self worth to feel entitled to lean back and have her sticky parts licked and sucked. She said she doesn’t like that, and I bet “not being worth” could be part of that.
I love to go down. I do. That’s one thing I love about Firecracker. She said “yes, I like that” pretty quickly, and I can stay down between her thighs for a long time, and she just purrs and moans.
I would like to go down on Miss Sincere, but I bet it would be a very different experience. She might feel more “like herself” if I make her serve me.
>> Now you know that being low energy dominant is the key to open her.
Yeah. I bet I can go down on her, just as long as I make it about dominating her. I make it about me… which I usually do, anyway. That’s for me…. but I love it more when she loves it. It’s already a theme between she/I. That I like making her uncomfortable. I’ve said that many times to her already.
“I think I’ll like the experience. This isn’t about happiness for me.”
Ah totally, go for it, it’s not like you’d gain anything by playing safe.
“you have a dark, but very accurate read, IMHO.”
Well she reminds of a bunch of girls I went out with – but once you know that girls really only talk to you about their “puzzle” aka the instructions on how to get into their pants, specially early on, it’s easy to see.
So if one of these girls starts talking about how the ex was an abuser etc, run, or be prepared to roleplay being the next abuser yourself.
Worst you can do, so don’t, is trying to change her. For example dont try to make this one more colorful and stuff. It IS possible to change people, and you COULD make her more colorful, once you’re inside, with lots of work and compromise. But right not the task is not to change her or help her or whatever, is to be whatever she wants you to be, in this case, a higher value man who’s uncertain of her, so in response she’ll try to please you, do things and be submissive of you, so she can “earn” your appreciation. If you fight it, then you lose the window, and she’ll go try to be lackluster and submissive to someone else.
“— She said she doesn’t like receiving oral sex”
You’re 100% right it your reading of it, I thought the same. You can use this after she’s been submissive and tell her that she earned it and she’ll be “rewarded”. She may even cry. Then you’ll have to marry this thing.
excellent field report, so many good details. you are keeping alive a lost art. great work.
and also, you are building momentum! i can feel it. hell yeah.