She is a young Korean girl. I picked her up last week, on Tuesday. She was #10 that day.
First text, another affirmative compliment from me, she said “thanks.” Okay. I was thinking this would go no place… that wasn’t a very enthusiastic response.
Second text, was an invite to dinner. She said she wasn’t sure if she was “into this or not.” I told her I liked her honesty, repeated the offer.
Third round, she responded the next morning, saying “As long as you’re not dangerous.” I said I am a little dangerous, but not for girls with her job (a reference to something she said about her work). She wanted more details about dinner. I played with it. She agreed. I wished her a nice weekend, and she returned the comment… was very sweet about it. It made me like her.
Today, forth round, I pump some enthusiasm into the date confirmation. She says she’s not feeling well, and that she looks terrible today, that she’s not wearing makeup. That’s a lot of candidness and detail for a girl that knows nothing about me. Something about that I liked as well… she was sincere. She’s been sincere the whole time. Honest. A little vulnerable. I like all that.
I tell her that if I am going to like her, it won’t be because of her makeup. We laugh, and she agrees to come out after all. I’m having a good week and I feel confident.
She shows up. She’s tall, almost my height (maybe she is 5’9″?). I think she is about 27. If she’s not wearing makeup, I can’t tell. She has great skin. She is simple, but very pretty. She’s dressed in all black, with a big sweatshirt, jeans, and black combat boots… and her short haircut with the pink tips. No jewelry, except the black ring she was wearing when I met her. She looks like she has some hips… she’s not tiny… maybe a “full stack” in the ass department. I’m into her… just the way she is.
She walks in, a little ahead of me, kind of cold. We sit. She’s the coldest girl I’ve dated this year. I feel myself having to work a bit, to get things going. I turn on my personal brand of conversational magic… I think I could talk to anyone (any girl) for a full night, almost no matter where she is coming from.
There are moments when I just let us go silent. And other times, when I talk in a very low volume voice… don’t know why, just felt right, like I was matching her low-energy.
She warms up. It feels like a normal date before it’s over. We finished some noodles and I ask how she’s doing? If she’s interested in another drink? She smiles and says yes.
A bar. Drinks. Sitting side by side in a booth… watching this lesbian couple makeout. I’m talking about it.
I am touching her a bunch.
At one point, we’re talking about guys/girls… and she says that once, when she was new to town, all these guys were hitting on her, but they were holding back, trying to decide if “she was good enough.” I tell her I know guys better than that. That they were nervous, and didn’t want to be rejected. That most guys can’t handle rejection. And to demonstrate… I try to kiss her, and she pushes me away (ha, I’m learning to love that part), and I say “See… that is me, completely comfortable with rejection.” And I smile, and lean back. And she smiles too.
And she talks to me about white guys that are into Asian women. And she says, in a very cute Korean accent, that she and her girlfriends think that white guys like “an Asian,” because she’s Asian, and that they will date “any Asian.”
And I say, oh, I love that, and that this is an easy one for me, as I am a guy that does like Asian women (which is massively true for me)… and I say, “You’re submissive, right?” And I expect her to say no, and that will help me prove my point that not all Asian girls are the same… but she says, “Yes.” Oh. And I’m not certain if she knew what I was saying or not? She kind of took it back, after my reaction. But I think she is, in fact, submissive… which is great, but not what I necessarily like about Asian women (I like them all for different reason, Jesus, but yeah I have a thing for that look, and submissive is great too, but that’s not my point… I say all this). She’s indirectly kicking my tires. I’m sure I passed that particular test.
We have an interesting moment when I am making some comments about how I picked her up, and she tells me that I am very good at conversation. That she was, in fact, trying to tell me that she was not interested, but that I was too good at talking, and I was so comfortable, that she didn’t leave. And that she never gives her number to guys, never, never ever, on the street. And that she is surprised she gave it to me. Hmmm. Okay.
And I will say I have been thinking about the concept of “trance words.” One definition is:
“The words she puts particular emphasis on or repeats frequently are her so-called trance words.”
This girl… “lonely.” And “the one.” Those came up a bit. So I would say she is a little on the sad side (the emphasis on lonely) and into a classic vision of relationships (emphasis on “the one”). I told her I think she’s a romantic.
And I tried to kiss her, in one form or another, several more times. And I incorporated that into the conversation. Saying that it’s my job to show her I like her in that way, and that, as she noticed, I will pay attention if she’s not ready, and all that is a sign of communication.
I was thinking of the conversation with Yohami in the comments about comfort and what a girl wants. I was saying that yes, girls want to be comfortable, but that a lot of times a girl wants excitement… and that that won’t be comfortable. I am thinking of this with Miss Sincere, and I sort of fake a kiss attempt again, and pull on her short, pink-tipped hair. And I say, “See, you’re a bit uncomfortable, but you like it. And I like watching you be a bit uncomfortable.” And I do. And she likes all of this. And I keep leaning way back, almost out of the booth after each of these “demonstations,” to make sure she feels the full release, as much as the tension. I can tell she feels both.
I had a good time with it.
And we talked about sex a bit… less than I normally would, as she is no race car. Lost her virginity at 21, smiled and said she didn’t want to talk more about it. She has pink nipples — I guessed, she confirmed. She has never kissed a girl, nor does she want to. I believe her. She said she is not that into receiving oral sex. I guessed that that was at least in part because she is just nervous about it. She agreed. I told her I lost my train of thought, that going down on her was all I could think about… which was true. She smiled.
I have thought a lot about this… and especially with this girl, I think a little sex talk will go a long way to making her comfortable with sex. And since Yohami/Riv/I have been talking about timing and comfort… she explicitly said that she doesn’t like to kiss on the first date, that it takes some time to develop feelings. It’s not entirely up to her… but there is some feedback on that topic from a real live girl.
Hmmmm. I am attracted to her. Not wildly so, but certainly. I think she is likely a little sad, but maybe in an alluring way. I would like to see her again, but won’t lose a lot of sleep if I don’t. I wonder what she looks like under that sweatshirt??
Women are so interesting. I want experiences. I want experience.
I have a date with the Thai girl tomorrow night.
I am going daygaming tomorrow.
On with the show… viva daygame.