Her Puzzles, Her Surrender | +1 Japan
I have a new story to share – and it is, in fact, a lay report. I am still turning her (and the story) over in my mind. It has been a proper seduction (perhaps by both of us). And each part of the process – the pickup, messaging, the dates, and the time in my apartment (on the third date) – each presented some puzzles and challenges that, as they were overcome, made this story come alive.
I take the word “puzzle” from Yohami:
“This is a special scenario where the girl is trying to determine how good you are. To evaluate you, she’ll offer little puzzles, little problems, and expect you to do checkmate or take valuable pieces and not fall in the traps.”
— Yohami
Compare that to this one:
“If you’re a masculine partner, the person you’re attracted to is always changing her mind and sabotages you. It seems like the feminine partner is creating hell for you. But really it’s the feminine side’s love of feeling the masculine side overcome challenges.”
— David Deida
Puzzles and challenges are “double-edged.” They can cut you down… or… they can provide an opportunity to “cut through.” You will be “tested” in those moments (over and over) with opportunities to break down or break thru. This is true of women – and the rest of life.
The theme of this post is “puzzles.” Below I will walk through some of the puzzles that were mine to solve as I took this girl from first meet to what has now become a love affair.
This girl, we’ll call her Miss Words.
My first impression:
“I see this girl. LONG DRESS with ‘APPLES’ on it. Apple necklace. Apple rings. Very long, straight hair. No makeup. Maybe 27yrs old?”
— My Notes, September 26
She puts her clothing and “her look” together with an incredible combination of artistic choices. In her sense of style, she is a little genius and she impresses me.
This is similar to her look… but she adds her unique artistic qualities on top of this genre.
As I would soon find out, however, the best thing about her is her mind. Very quickly, in her choice of the words that she sent to me as we began to communicate, I knew I was involved with a special girl with a unique and unusual mind. Her range of topics, the depth, the references… off the scale compared to most girls I have known.
I love her words. I love the stark originality of the way she thinks and the colors of her thoughts… and what her words say about the contours of her fascinating mind.
PUZZLE #1. “I have a boyfriend.”
After some really high-quality messaging with this girl, I asked her out.
NASH: Come have dinner with me.
MISS WORDS: I have a boyfriend, so I refuse dinner. Sorry.
To which she added a “happy face.” Hmmm.
But immediately after the boyfriend comment, she invited me to an art show. I agreed and we went.
“She showed up today wobbling around on 4in heels. She wore an all-white dress (that came up to her throat) that was open in the front so I see flashes of her LEATHER CORSET (the same one as in her profile). Long, black hair down to her waist. Bookish glasses.”
— October 3, from my notes
She was shockingly attractive. Her hair is exceptionally long – to her waist, longer than her legs, longer than any girl I have ever dated. And that long hair was shown against the background of that white dress. She had a white handbag strung over the inside crook of her elbow. She is elegant, fragile, delicate femininity.
I left that date completely “high” on her and the vibe of our time together.
She may have a boyfriend… but it has not really come up since. Solving the puzzle here was about “stepping forward” anyway.
PUZZLE #2: Long Delays
She didn’t exactly flirt with me on that first date, but there was a sense of something charged and real to be had between us. She was “nervous” and “emotional” in a good way. She is a natural girl and shows natural signals. I am very direct – she could feel my interest as well.
After the art show she was quick to respond to me. I assumed it was on. But it didn’t last.
It has been the pattern for us that we send long threads via messaging every few days. She was asking questions, making excellent comments, and introducing interesting topics.
I didn’t want to rush it, but my experience tells me endless chit-chat is a great way to leak off the tension, kill momentum, and lose the girl.
On October 7th I sent a long series of messages to her, and… no response until October 11. It is hard to hold the fabric of the pickup together when things move this slow. It was now 10 days since our last date. It is normal for girls to slip away… and I kept thinking she was “gone.”
I replied to her on October 12. And to that…
She didn’t reply at all.
Was that “Game Over?” At the very least, it added more delays to the potential of any magic happening.
In terms of this puzzle: I kept my eyes and energy open to the other girls in my life, but if I did anything right here, it was that I didn’t give up.
PUZZLE #3. Her Not Responding
After I had sent her that long message on October 12 and received nothing in response, I wondered: How do you keep from “chasing” in a situation like this?
It is one of the great paradoxes of Game that men oughtn’t chase, but (and at the same time) it is up to the Masculine to “penetrate her world.”
And it is up to us to “add energy” to keep the seduction going. Most of the time, she won’t “carry” it for you. If I was going to keep this seduction alive, the next move was mine.
I waited a week. And then I sent her a straightforward, very sincere “ultimatum.”
NASH: Hello Interesting Girl
NASH: I haven’t heard from you
NASH: I want to say again: Come spend time with me. Let’s talk.
NASH: That is what I want
There was more. All in this same very direct style.
And then, at the end…
NASH: Unless I hear from you, this is my last message.
NASH: Let’s have tea. Let’s talk. Come see me.
I would not chase her forever, but I liked her enough to make this last, heart-felt declaration.
“She may present another puzzle and then another. The key that opens all these doors is the same, it’s your master key: know what you want and go for it.”
— Yohami
Is it “good Game” to send a girl messages that hasn’t responded? No, it isn’t. It that smart? Not usually.
And yet I felt invigorated as I told her what I wanted. My ultimatum goes against “common wisdom” but I think it was clean, masculine seduction. I am a worthy man, and I make a strong, clear, impassioned offers to worthy women. I never put her above me. I called her to be with me… because “that is what I want.”
“An important part of an invitation is to lay it out there. You put out an invitation and leave it out there. Which means that her acceptance of the invitation is not your business, it is not your responsibility. Your responsibility is just to show up, lay out an invitation to a woman you feel attracted to, and leave the space to either be accepted or not.”
— Hans Comyn
I was solving puzzles for myself here, if not for her. And despite the low-likelihood that ultimatum would work… that very same day she did come forward:
MISS WORDS: Yes, let’s meet and talk. I also feel wonderful about meeting you.
So after a two week absence, she was back in. And she was enthusiastic.
Ideal or not, the path I took worked. I showed some patience and strength here, and I was able to breath some life back into the courtship.
PUZZLE #4: No Flirting or Sexuality
My second date with Miss Words was on November 1st, a rainy Sunday. She appeared at the meeting spot, dressed like a proper British college girl might have in the 1940s. I walked us to tea. We arrived at a great spot I know with high ceilings, big windows, and lots of plants. We drank tea and talked.
The puzzle here is that while she was incredibly charming, I cannot say she was flirting with me. She was attractive without being sexual. I was direct. In words and actions I showed my intent. I touched her a lot. But I felt a lack of control as I failed to find a way to “turn up the heat.”
I knew she had a boyfriend, but she had come out with me twice now and I was testing the edges to see where I was at.
I wanted to get her alone before I tried to escalate further. Back near my house, I invited her in. And, she declined.
There is a lot of tension for me in this story. Not the beautiful tension of an impending sexual mash up. But the tension of a seduction that was on the edge of failure. I was painfully aware that I couldn’t get the “love bubble” to boil in the way I wanted it to. And I hadn’t tried to kiss her. If I saw her again I felt like it would be my last chance to make the relationship feel “man to woman.”
A few days later I told her I wanted a third date. She offered me a time 10 days away – another delay. To which I replied:
NASH: The 14th/15th is too far away
NASH: Come have dinner with me before then
That same night, after all those delays, she replied:
MISS WORDS: Saturday/Sunday may not be changed…
MISS WORDS: There is only tomorrow… if that is okay
See that? Suddenly the delays were over – we had a date, immediately. This wasn’t a puzzle, but it was good, bold Game.
The third date was set for November 6th.
PUZZLE #5: She Refused My Kiss
The third date: The girl – looking just beautiful. Another calm, but interesting dinner (sitting side by side) at the pizza place near my house. After dinner I helped her put on her long, pretty coat, walked her outside, and I invited her for ice cream back at my place. She accepted.
Inside. Music. Ice cream and green tea (she doesn’t drink, of course). We chatted. It was time to make up for any lack of boldness and conviction I felt on the last date with her.
I stepped in, took hold of her, and moved in for a kiss and… she had a delayed, but significant flinch. She didn’t freeze, but she “recoiled” in a slow-motion way. That was a clear “no.” I backed off.
And while it was a rejection, I felt suddenly ecstatic. Where I had failed to make the physical offer of the kiss on the second date, I had not failed now. I walked across the kitchen, smiling, giving her space, as if nothing had happened.
I thought she might leave… but she didn’t. I have seen this so many times. It wasn’t a “good” sign, but I don’t even see this kind of thing as “a red light” anymore. It just means, “not yet.”
She rejected my kiss her two more times in the next 30 minutes. Each time I felt more bold, more clear in who I was and what I wanted. I kissed her neck instead, and she took it, but with very little reaction.
So this was the next real puzzle… all these rejections. I was an increasingly sexual man, but she showed no interest.
And yet… she didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave.
Puzzle #6. Subterfuge
At this point in the night I had not yet assumed I would get this lovely girl’s clothes off. I should have, but I didn’t quite see it yet. We were at the end of a long series of puzzles. She was rejecting me on the surface but was happy to be in a dangerous situation – she was still in my place.
I told her that she was in a sexual context with me, a bad man. And I said I felt a kind of conflict between her wanting to be here and her lack of sexual response. And she said:
MISS WORDS: I don’t have much of a sexuality
There was a kind of slow confession in the way she said it… as if she were broken in that way. I wondered if she was showing me something real.
“This is a puzzle and can mean many things. For starters, it means that she does want it, but wants to see where you stand. Will you tell her to? Ask her to? Beg her to?”
— Yohami
Hmmm, it was late… and she had given me another puzzle.
I said: I feel increasingly confident in my ability as a man to “open” a woman in ways other men cannot. And she smiled and said, “I have heard that before,” and that others had tried. And she seemed very sure of herself as she said it.
I said: It’s late, I like you, I want you to stay with me tonight. I knew (somehow) that I could keep her if I wanted to – and she easily said yes. She quickly followed up with her “conditions” that she would not kiss me, and there would be no nakedness… and I took her seriously, but didn’t really give it much thought.
I pulled her into the other room and together we removed her very pretty dress. 10 minutes later… she was in one of my t-shirts and her panties, a 23 year old beauty… in my bed.
Amazing.
I had told her I would touch her “a lot” if she chose to stay and I did. I pawed at her body, stroking her epically long hair, touching her face, and pressing my lips to hers over and over. She would not react at all to the kiss, but she took the touching quite well.
“To know where you’re at, look at her and see what’s the status of her puzzle. She’s there and she wants something. Put your focus there. The end result is that she wants the same as you, she just wants you to take her in a particular way. She won’t express it frontally but she’ll let you know, as long as you keep moving her there, she’ll verbalize (and otherwise) what’s next.”
— Yohami
In my mind, it was still not a certainty that I would fuck her (which is kind of ridiculous, now in retrospect), but I know how to escalate. And as I slipped my hand under her bra, and found her nipple… it was clear. And as I took her bra off… I knew it was done. Soon enough…
She was naked after all. There was no rush. I knew I could have anything I wanted now… even though she still had not kissed me. I ate her beautiful little 23 year old pussy. And when I was done, I slipped on one of the world’s best condoms and…
One of my mostly interesting seductions had come to completion. +1 Daygame.
It was now early AM on November 7th… 42 days after I had approached her on the street.
And you know what happened after sex? She leaned in and gave me a big, juicy, generous kiss.
It didn’t all come together… she hadn’t fully surrendered… until after sex. It is often like this. These details aren’t even strange to me anymore.
This is one of my favorite stories in my Book of Girls… with so many puzzles… so many chances for the engine of seduction to come off the tracks, but we managed to hold it all together.
Remarkable.
So what about her sexuality? She had even mocked me for suggesting I might be the kind of man that could bring her past that story. What is the truth as I see it now?
I think she was being real, but that was just another puzzle for me to solve. It wasn’t untrue, but I did in fact know how to solve that for her. As soon as I touched her body in bed that night, I could tell she was sensitive and responsive. She is not “explosive” in bed, but I could feel her pleasure rise as I sucked her clit and fucked her that first night. The sex was not earth-shattering, but it was exquisitely good sex. Connected and hot and deep and juicy. We have since made her squirt (the tiniest bit) two dates ago…
She has a beautiful sexuality.
I have now had several mornings in bed with her, her little body wrapped up in my arms. And I have kissed that girl as if we were, together, trying to squeeze every drop of juice from the last few moments in time. When I sucked on her mouth I turn her puffy lips a deep, wine-colored purple. Those purple lips… open, wet, and very swollen… are a signature memory of these early days with her.
Looking back, I am still surprised that I did not know (earlier) that the sex (and all the potential of her and I) was there. I am pleasantly embarrassed that I did not see it all more clearly.
She is shy and submissive in one moment, and then blasts my imagination open with some beautiful remark in the next. She has so many facets. And all of her puzzles and challenges allowed me to show her some of my many talents as well. And then… she surrendered.
And all this started when a man walked up to charming little girl on the street.
All Hail the Daygame Gods. Viva Daygame.
ADDENDUM:
I was doing some research today to find a pic that looked like her… and it turns out that her style is close to a scene called “Sweet Lolita.”
Lolita in Japan isn’t quite the same as the book by the same title that I wrote about earlier this year.
And the clue here is the inclusion of the word “Sweet.”
“Lolita” as we know it in the West isn’t sweet… Western Lolita is “perverted” and “wise beyond her years.” She is a sexually dangerous (very) young girl.
Japanese (and Asian) “Lolita” is more of a fashion genre. It is an aesthetic. Young but mature girls, often dressed like dolls… something like that.
Miss Words will continue to challenge me (I am sure). She is complicated. But she is not that same kind of “dangerous” as the 14 year old “nymphets” of Nabokov’s novel
But Miss Word’s element of “sweet” is perhaps THE THING that made this seduction so difficult.
As I wrote in the piece above:
That ^ now (suddenly) makes more sense to me. Her identity is very, very attractive. She knows it. She gets attention from guys and girls (and has dated at least one girl). She is on the edge of “fetish” in terms of the intricacy of her sense of style, she is compelling, she easily creates real, red-blooded desire, but then she receives it from a position of “sweetness.”
You can see how that would defuse the sexuality as it arrives. The heat would be unmet each time – and that was my experience while dating her…
That is until, in my kitchen, on the third date, I broke free of her “sweet frame” and establish my “I want you frame” in it’s place.
She didn’t really react… but I had solved the sexual impossibility of her sweetness for myself and I was able to move us forward.
I tend to always find these chaste, inexperienced, introverted, deeply feminine girls. And then I, as is my way, bring them into a sexual context. And that is how I think I have ended up with so many virgins and inexperienced girls over the years… Miss Words is the epitome of “my type.”
I don’t exactly know how much experience this girl has… most girls will never bare their secrets. But I believe it is true that I have been able to bring her past a fashionable “sweet,” deeper into a mature sexual relationship… much more than most men would be able to do.
I have some sexual skill, true. But my “talent” here is in my patience, and in creating a context and an experience where that these girls can use as a bridge into “new things,” situations that are atypical for them.
She is a lovely girl. She and I are in a pitched infatuation period – very into each other right now. And I am looking forward to some intimate wintery months with her.
This piece below includes a lot more conversation about PUZZLES, and YOHAMI himself made some comments – they are the most recently comments from him on this blog.
POST: https://daysofgame.com/theory/case-study-the-controlling-girl-drama-and-female-psychology/
Here is what Yohami added in the COMMENT SECTION:
Yohami is a genius.
Here is another PUZZLE REFERENCE from YOHAMI:
“They tell you straightforward, since the begining, all the time they’ve been talking to you, responding to you, interacting with you, they are saying yes to things and no to things and all that is a recipe to fucking them – they are handing you the instruction manual, because you asked. You talking to them when you wanted to fuck them is you asking, and they give you an instruction manual (aka the puzzle) in the shape of: they are receptive to things and not to others. Because of who they are. Some will laugh, some will cry. Some will cry into fucking. True story.”
https://daysofgame.com/street_game/tyo-virgin-insta-date-vs-number-farming/#comment-1695
HERE some “counter-argument” to my ULTIMATUM MOVE in the post above:
Here are both HANs and YOHAMI saying “walk away.”
Back in 2017, I was agreeing with Yohami:
But I didn’t walk this time… and I think if I had, for any reason (including being a “tough guy”) I would have misses what followed.
I think the DIFFERENCE between what I thought then and what I think now… is that I felt GREAT sending one last message. And I did it for me. And I really didn’t expect her to come back. And it wasn’t a “prayer,” it was me being clear with myself. It wasn’t needy at all. It was clear.
And that doesn’t make it any more likely to “work,” but that I why I did it. And that is why, when she did come back into the energy of this relationship, she landed in in a strong place.
This is all PARADOX. There is not “right answer.” As players we earn experience with each possible move (because we have tried them all) and we are more confident in which of the many uncertain choices we choose as our next move.
That ultimatum was key… but it is NOT classically “good game.” And yet… it was key.
This is not easy.
Did she actually end up having a boyfriend, or was that just an excuse?
The post was getting too long, so I cut it out, but…
After I had tried to kiss her a couple of times on that third date, she asked me if I knew what “Polyamory” was. She used that word, and I was surprised… I am in a traditional city in Japan… no one here knows what that word means.
In addition to the BF, she had also previously said she had dated girls (which makes sense, she looks like she could have a girlfriend, in an “art girl” kind of way). And she has made some references about having to reject people often enough.
There was also a time when I thought she might be a sex worker (based on this corset pic in her profile), but increasingly I read her as about fashion, more than any of that. It turns out she is a nurse (which surprises me also, but for different reasons).
So after the Polyamory chat, she says she has a relationship with her ex, that she dated for many years (stating while she was at University), she lived with him, for at least a year – and she is only 23. So, she had one, long term boyfriend, and “he is like family” to her. That is what she told me… she hasn’t said a word about him since.
She said “they don’t have sex” – but that comment is neither here/there for me. Her comment that she doesn’t have much of a sexuality is still more interesting… that is why I put that in the post.
So… I don’t know. I don’t know.
When she brought up the polyamory thing, I have a strong opinion on all that: I told her I think Poly people are “at least as unhappy” as anyone else, as they think they need to talk about their “side interests.” I told her that I think that is a recipe for misery (which I believe). I told her that I like the “don’t ask, don’t tell” reality of the Secret Society. That “discrete affairs” > Poly (which I also believe). That people often have more than one interest in their life, but talking about it is a particularly rough way to deal with that fact.
And now… I haven’t heard anything about anyone else since she spent that first night with me. She is now available all the time, messaging me much more often, telling me she wants to see me, etc.
So… I don’t know what any of that means.
I have said this before, but, in my view, I divide girls in two categories: ones I have kids with or want to have kids with, and all other girls. A girl in the first category, I care a lot about what she does, her level of loyalty, and so on. A girl in the second category… I don’t care so much. She can put a label on what she’s doing or not. Usually the label is just that, a label. She’s actually doing what she wants to do… then figuring out a name for it, if she needs one, later. “Poly” is not my favorite frame… https://theredquest.wordpress.com/2018/05/25/game-aware-guys-being-poly-or-open/ is from a previous time we talked about that.
The number of really, truly “poly” people is small. The number who will use that label so they can fuck around, is much larger. Very few quality guys will willingly share “their” girl in a deep relationship with another guy.
With that last paragraph… I’ve been around this stuff long enough to see that many people, especially but not only girls, will use the non-monogamous framing, whether poly or swinger or open love, until they find someone they really fall for. Then, they don’t care so much about the other options.
I have been dropped by girls I’ve seen, intermittently, for years, when the girl finds her guy. Normal girls know a guy isn’t going to stick around if he’s in any danger of raising another man’s baby.
Smart girls also figure out what I have figured out… non-mono is mostly a way for guys to fuck around a lot. A lot of normal girls go through a slut phase of sexual exploration, usually in the 18 – 25 area… but then realize that just getting fucked by a roster of random men is not very satisfying or interesting, fundamentally.
Some girls are addicted to the obsession rush phase of a relationship, which usually lasts the first few months, maybe as long as a year.
Probably too late advice. But based on what I read I think she is into bdsm. Smart, introverted, into fashion, studied sex stuff in deep, scared of physical contact…
That first night she did not want to have a sex, but wanted to be tied up.
I think that is an interesting read. She has a corset she likes to wear, and I saw it in a picture when I first met her, and I thought she was a sex worker…
But we’ve been dating for a while now. She isn’t BDSM. I don’t think she is very sexually experienced. She really like the “look,” the style, and that is what makes it seem like she might be fetishy… but she is not. She is mentally complicated and visually creative, but the actual sex…
I think she is right, she is not hyper sexual… she is “sexy,” she can push that a little (in an artistic/aesthetic way), but not particularly sexual. I bet relatively low sex drive.
We have a lot of sex, but because I am really attracted to her and I initiate and carry the whole experience. I would say sex with her is not that good… until I am inside her, and then… it is fantastic. I have been into this tantric/taoist thing, and she can take as much as I’m willing to give her, rising to the point where her body is shaking…
They are all different… and that is her flavor.
And no… she is not into being tied up. I am into it. She really resisted the idea when I mentioned it. I did tie her up early on… maybe our sixth date… she was just “flat” about it. That is my experience with girls that don’t like it (there are many that do not, girls that really liked me… but didn’t like ropes)… it’s not hot for them… and it is maybe “worrying,” so even as they trust me… they don’t “glow” or get turned on… so it’s not hot for me either. I drop it with those girls.
I have made this one squirt (a few times, mildly). She likes fingers… but not that much. She is not that into oral (which I love). But in general she like penetration, my cock much more than anything else. I had her ass… her first time (she says)… she took it very well… again, she likes the penetration… almost exclusively.
One last comment about her sexually: She gets more into it when we have maximum body to body contact… when I am fucking her, but she is has me in a big hug at the same time, super chest to chest, necks touching… or when I have her flat on her stomach and I touch as much of my body to hers as possible, my chest on her back, and I slip an arm under her neck as well and squeeze her.
Maximum body contact, being squeezed and penetration… gets the biggest response from her… the shaking… the loud, deep breaths. That is her type.
Reading this post, I am thinking back to a good looking loser post, https://www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/screening/sexually-unavailable-for-unknown-reasons … the guy has his flaws, but he was the first guy to fully articulate the “chicks are random” point that I already kind of knew, from experience, but had not quite seen stated properly. His story…
I haven’t seen exactly this happen… but the basic idea, it’s hard not to notice, if you spend a lot of time with and around chicks.
Very consistent, highly directed chicks also spend less time single than scattered, random chicks. Scattered, random chicks find it harder to get a boyfriend in the first place, and harder to retain him when they do.
I read that GGL piece earlier and thought about it as I went about my day.
Agree with this ^ The server did a good job.
But she was still into him later, very much so, so what was up?
In that case… “Allison” felt weird getting that attn from him, as it separated her from the group. He “put her on the spot.”
When she was flirting with the server, it was as part of the group. As he singled her out, the attn made her “unlike” the rest of the group, so she rejected that status (and him, temporarily). It makes sense in “chick-logic.” Later her mood changed, so “no conflict,” go back and dig through the trash, whatever.
The server could have given her the number while she was away from her friends and it would have gone better. The server didn’t use the SECRET SOCIETY, and if he did… he would have been much cooler.
That is my read.
I think they are particularly random in the initial part of the pickup/seduction. The “chemicals” in their body (and in ours) make them do “over-charged” things.
With Miss Happy, I noticed she would “try on” attitudes/positions with me (including “I love you”). I think she “felt something intense,” and she “floats the position” out, to see how I react, but also to “see how it feels.” And if they don’t like “how it feels,” they just abandon that feeling and move on to the next feeling.
The “metoo” thing works in that way of thinking also: Girls can “try on” the idea “he abused me,” just to see how it feels. If they are rewarded for it, they will like how it feels, so they’ll keep that “position.” When it no longer feels good, they’ll drop it and move on.
…
With Miss Words… I mostly think she did something many girls do… her testing me was a way to “GUARD HER WOMB.” Girls throw “chaos” at men, to throw them off, otherwise… they’d be pregnant constantly. The default position has to always be – “get rid of him.” They have too many offers. Getting rid of offers is their job.
As it was… I dealt with each thing. The “black/white” of what I showed above, but lots of romance and artsy connection with her too. So… I made it passed her “wall of chaos,” and sure enough, she ended in a sexual situation.
I think that is what this endless testing/puzzles are about… it’s “fitness test.” The tests don’t have to make sense… there just have to be a lot of them. That will do the job of screening out “weak hands.”
She and I are a good match… but I played strong here… and I passed.
That is what I think.
I have a slightly different take… chicks are random cause they can be.
In evolutionary terms, a guy who blows his chance with a hot chick on a given night isn’t going to put his DNA in the next generation. If a chick “blows her chance” with a given guy on a given night, she can try again next week, next month, and succeed. A guy is much more strongly incentivized to have sex with whoever he can at a given moment. A woman doesn’t have that need/pressure.
And for most of human history… who a woman fucked was also a family affair, and her father/brothers/other relatives had a lot of say. Not total say… female mate choice matters… but a lot.
Their randomness can function as a fitness test, but it can also just be that they’re scattered (I wrote this paragraph before I got to your fitness test note at the end of the comment… oh well…). In the “fitness test” thing, a chick has little to lose by waiting to have sex with a guy… she can wait a few days or weeks or months, depending on the guy, to evaluate if he’s worth fucking. Unless some other girl comes along to turn his head, she can wait and see.
These impulses don’t have to be and usually aren’t conscious. A guy doesn’t see boobs and think, “This woman’s fitness indicators show that she is prepared to conceive a child.” He think, “Nice boobs.” She doesn’t think, “I can learn more about this male and learn his fitness level.” She thinks, “I’m not in the mood today, we’ll see.” Or “That one thing he did was weird.”
So, with the guy in the GLL story… it could be your read… I’m not disputing that it’s possible… it could be some other read… or it could be, “Chicks are random.” I think the waiter was pretty slick, given the constraints he was working with. I have done “bad” game or “bad” pickup like that, in which I’m not in the optimal situation but I still want to try for the phone number, or to give her my phone number, or similar… years ago I got a girl who was on a date with a guy in a bar through that kind of thing, writing my number on a piece of paper and giving it to her inside a menu (it was a complicated thing…).
A “bad” shot is better than the shot clock expiring.
Sometimes girls also like being picked out as the desirable one among their group.
The bit in the middle, about girls trying on ideas, should be a post of its own… this:
Is the seed of a post.
With the “I was abused” thing, she might get some rewards from other chicks… but they will probably not be rewarded by men… hearing that kind of thing is a huge turn off to me, and a sign the girl is damaged. I haven’t encountered a lot of that, but I did with this girl, https://theredquest.wordpress.com/2018/07/28/i-take-it-back-i-think-i-have-to-cut-her-loose/, and it is one of the things that made me want to get rid of her.
[…] handle or dont’ want to handle freedom. For chicks, there are often few costs to waiting, so waiting is a fitness test. Unless another woman is likely to swoop in and steal her man, a woman is usually fine with waiting […]