NYC: Chinese Fashion Girl vs Yohami’s Greatest Hits, +0

This girl is my last, and richest story from my NYC daygame trip. I’ll do a wrap up later on broader themes, but this is the last girl-specific episode from New York. In this story we have another “close call report.” It’s another “pull” and another +0. And a mix of frustration and pride to end a difficult but interesting experience of daygame in NYC.

When I announced this trip I mentioned that while I’m having some great sex with Miss Thick, I haven’t had a new lay in a while. Sex, but no new girls. The “notch hyena” howls with neglect.

It occurs to me as I write this, that perhaps I am in another “cocoon stage” of this path. That is: some dormant, non-thriving stage where I am going through a metamorphosis (collecting a new chorus of reference experiences), and changing from one state to another.

That is likely some mythical bullshit right there ^, but this story had a lot of learning moments in it. So did this trip. I’m still, very much, trying to learn from these days of game.

In that spirit, I was rereading some old posts of mine. Many aspects of the story about this girl — Chinese Fashion Girl — are almost identical to other girls I’ve dated and written about. I was looking at those posts and the comments from “the mythical Yohami.” That guy has some red-hot knowledge about this dance. Several times on the dates with this girl I thought “WWYD” (What Would Yohami Do?)??

So this post is a story about a girl from NY. I’ll go over my two dates with her. And it is also a showcase of Yohami’s thoughts as they apply to my real-life situations with daygame girls. And how I’m trying to learn from what Yohami has to say, revisiting his lessons date after date. Again and again.

(EX: He has been kicking my ass in comments this week. It’s humbling, but I’m grateful.)

First, some back story on her…

I was out with Runner on my 2nd day on the street. The Chinese Fashion Girl was the 26th girl of the day, 2nd to last. One of five leads that day. This was one of my best days out on the street that week, and I should would have kept going, but I had a date with the teenager, so I cut off game around 6:30 to get ready for my date… but let’s stick to this particular girl.

Fashion Girl is relatively short (which I like very much), maybe 5’2″. She is thin, certainly under 100 pounds. She is not supremely beautiful, but in the approach, and in all the time I spent with her, I was unapologetically into her.

Runner and I were out on 5th Avenue and I was about to approach when she cut to her right and opened the large glass doors to Topshop (Topshop NYC, not London). My vibe flows pretty well for in-store game. I approached, she took it well… in a quiet way.

Quiet. That is a big part of what she is all about. I like that about her.

Right away, the spell was in effect. I think for both of us. We had good chemistry and
I felt drawn to her. At this point in the trip I had done almost 60 approaches, but the quality of the lines coming out of my mouth were different with this one. Not “great game,” but more authentic game. Slower game. Richer game.

David Burn at LongBurnTheFire posted a few notes about winging me, and he says that I “found something about every approach to increase [my] state.” David is a smart guy, a great daygamer and an excellent wing… but that is not exactly correct. He saw me in two sets back to back where something special was going on with the girl. Shorts sets, but special ones. Neither of the sets David saw me approach even hooked, but they both “did something” for me, and I came away feeling “alive.” My Fashion Girl here was another of these “special” interactions. She lit me up. And unlike the two David saw, this one hooked.

I took her WeChat. I also gave her a sticker, one of a big batch I had brought to NYC. It looked a bit like her. She liked it. We were connecting on art. She has a serious art background. Two separate art degrees from high-end art schools. She is currently a textile designer.

Here’s how the opening messages went (a variant on Tom Torero’s classic opener):

NASH: You were very charming today.
NASH: Are you always so kind to strange boys from California?

“Kind” is callback from when I approached her. And if you know Asian folks… they use “kind” a lot. And to the structure of Tom’s post… I like this flavor of “question” as a way to engage her on the ping.

HER: Haha, nope. I not always kind to people who chat me up on the street
HER: But I found you are an interesting person so I wanted to stay and talk with you

By “street” she means Topshop (she is fucking up my story here). But you can see her “yes” in these opening messages.

HER: Have you been walking around on the street talking with girls and giving your stickers all day?
NASH: Haha… all the girls talk to me.
NASH: I am so innocent
HER: Innocent people never say they are innocent. : )

This ^ is a great example of what she is like.

She is deeply feminine, but she speaks her mind and shows her intelligence in everything she does. All this took place later that night, after the pickup, but this kind of energy from her is likely what drew me too her in the shop… that quiet, conservative cleverness.

There was more that night… and I reopened the next morning. I called her “shy” (something Sundance and I have been experimenting with). She rejected that… but hadn’t gone silent. I might have been over-gaming her, but she was still with me. I offered a date for that night (the day after I met her), or “maybe” the next day.

HER: I’m not sure I can meet today maybe tomorrow.
NASH: Hmmm, okay.
NASH: Maybe tomorrow could work…
NASH: Let’s have tea when you’re off work…
NASH: If we’re having fun, I’ll take us to dinner.
HER: Sounds good.

More of the “maybe dance.”

So, Wednesday I had no date (yet), so I hit the street, and had a long, painful awkward day, but ended up on the i-date late that night with the Preacher’s Daughter. The next day was Thursday. Two nights left in the City… and I had my potential date set up with this Fashion Girl.

She almost cancelled (I know this only because she did not, in fact, cancel) because she had food poisoning (not sexy), but she came out anyway. I actually think she intended to cancel that afternoon, but I lead well. Sensing she was about to back out, I asked her where she was, found a meetup spot on Google maps between her and I, sent her the location, and made the date happen.

If I hadn’t been confident, and hadn’t led well in that moment, this story would be over at this point. “She cancelled. The End.” But that’s not what happened.

HER: Nearly there
HER: Come out please

She showed up.

Our first date started at a Starbucks on the east side, near 5th Avenue. Tea. Conversation. She was wearing delicious perfume and was generous about giving me her wrist for direct access to the girly smell she wore. In fact, she reapplied it all night, clearly for me. Good girl.

She went to art school in London. And her quiet voice comes out of her mouth with a slight British twang to it. She speaks slowly. I don’t think she is a bubbly, or overly happy girl… but she was having a good time with me. I was enjoying her.

I put us a in cab and shuttled us over to the west side to what turned out to be an excellent Japanese restaurant, the best meal of my trip.

Cutting through Central Park, we made it to the restaurant. She got a bit queasy on the ride over, saying she still felt sick and that her blood sugar was low. She rolled down the window to get fresh air. She said she had intended to cancel, but didn’t want to disappoint me.

By the time we arrived she was happy. We sat side by side, eating excellent food and chatting. I touched her a lot.

After dinner she said she needed to get home and I walked her to the train station.

Great vibe. I did my “c’mere” at some point and she rejected the kiss.

That was three girls in three days not kissing me. Fuck you, NYC. In some ways that sucked. In some ways, it made me proud.

As we took a long walk in the warm October evening toward her train, I tried several more times to connect to those lips. She rejected me each time, but she loved it. Like so many girls, she seemed to like it more and more each time I tried.

I had other girls messaging me that night (and was planning on running game all afternoon the next day, so SDL was possible…), but this was a good date. I liked her and she liked me, which made me want to invest more time in the potential of she and I.

At the station, I had made up my mind: I was going to offer her my last night of my trip (which was the next night). This was strategic… given the good date. The fact that I’d tried to kiss her (over and over) made the context clearly sexual. The fact that she liked it meant we had a good frame for sex if she’d see me again…

As we arrived at her train I asked if she had plans for the next night… and she said she did. I know my face betrayed some brief disappointment, which she seemed to enjoy. But she had an odd smile on her face. And then she said, “… with you.”

Oh. She got me there. She is a clever little thing. Good deal.

So it was on.

The next night, we met at 6 PM. I researched yet another restaurant near her train stop and we ended up having a fancy dinner (which was more money, less fun, less comfortable, and less delicious, than the night before).

We connected easily and dinner was fun, despite the stuffy place I’d picked out. As we sat at dinner, I considered my options… she doesn’t drink much. Some, but not much. And she doesn’t like desert. Both those are classic bounces, and I knew neither were her thing. I was going to just go for the pull back to my hotel… that was my plan.

We walked outside and I did just that… pointing out that she doesn’t like desert, but I wanted to spend some more time with her, so she should come to my hotel. It wasn’t explicitly sexual, but it was as obvious as it is here.

She said no. And she smiled. And she said it was fun to watch me run my game (she didn’t say that exactly, but that was the gist of what she said). She said she wanted to spend more time with me (and she was very soft when she said that), but that she couldn’t come back to my hotel.

I didn’t get a “yes,” but she was a happy girl. She touched me as she told me she wanted to spend more time with me. She was into it.

Let’s add in some Yohami lessons now.

Here is something I said in May when I was in a very similar situation with a different girl:

NASH: I said… “Well, now I will give you two choices. You can come back to my place for desert…or we can take you to your train.”

This ^ is shit game. And Yohami let me know:

YOHAMI: See how I’ve been saying that you transfer the power to her and become passive.
YOHAMI: Like this you’re stopping in the crucial moment and having her decide what is going to happen. She’s the one in power:
YOHAMI: My read is that you’re expecting her to do something so you can follow, as opposed to you taking the initiative and let her follow.

Excellent breakdown by Yohami here. I am very happy to lead, but I did give the girl in May “the power” on that date, when I offered her the next steps as a question (AND a choice between two things… one of which was her going home). That’s fucking dumb.

Here he is saying it in another comment from February:

YOHAMI: You transfer the power to her, and make her to be the one in command, so now if she wants the dick she has to verbalize it, which goes against her nature.

He’s right, of course. But that was then. This is now.

In this case, I wasn’t asking. I was clear and made her a straightforward, confident offer. So I had gotten past that level of mistake. I was leading. No “two choices” when that isn’t necessary (or smart), and more importantly, not asking her to make decisions or “lead” in any way. I was (as Sundance would say) “doing my job.”

Since she wouldn’t come to my hotel, I had to come up with something else. I told her about that rooftop bar. The same place I took Preacher’s Daughter the night before. She agreed.

And then, before we went to the bar… I kissed her. Her lips were closed and a bit stiff, but it landed.

NASH: Okay, well, that counts. It wasn’t a good kiss, but it was a good start.

I told her this ^ after the kiss. My chance to playfully play the critic.

HER: You said my kiss is “not good.”
NASH: Yeah, you’ll have to try harder next time.

I was “breaking rapport,” but it was a tease and she knew it. And she smiled. We both did.

A cab. The two of us heading to that rooftop bar. As soon as I had her in the elevator, I kissed her again. And that one was solid. Wet and enthusiastic. I could tell she was much more into it when the kissing was private. Some girls are like that.

The host was the same guy as the night before, and he recognized me, and was very cool to me again. He put us against the wall, under the speaker where it was a little quieter. She drinks (a little bit) so we sipped cocktails. I told stories. I touched her.

She talked about how she is passive. About how she wants a man to do “everything.” She’s got a sophisticated eye and she knows what she wants, but she likes being passive. She loves that I can keep talking at will. She told a story about a guy that got nervous because she is quiet. “Don’t you have anything to say to me?,” he asked her on a date. She did not. What I loved about her (her quiet passivity), freaked that guy out.

And she told me stories about getting picked up. About how sometimes when white guys approach her, she pretends that she doesn’t speak English.

She said she’s not afraid to make it hard or awkward on a guy if she doesn’t like him or if he’s doing a bad job. Girls can be mean, she was basically saying as much, she took some pride in her rejections of those guys. She wasn’t showing off here. She was admitting that we were both in the Secret Society… and that, in her eyes, I was not one of those guys.

And she talked about how some guy picked her up in a park, while she was sitting with her mom. She went out with him a couple times. He tried to “snake seduction” his way into her life by trying to paint with her. (I bet it was too much painting, not enough escalating.) He was boring. She stopped seeing him.

I pawed her thin body mercilessly as we sat on soft leather cushions in the warm air of the Indian Summer. And I held her hand. And I used the noise of the DJ to get close, and whisper in her ear. She was leaning in to me. The bubble was rich.

At some point, I knew it was time. I remember feeling serious.

I told her I was ready to take her back to my hotel. That’s how I said it. And she started to shake her head (in a way many players have seen). I told her that just because she is coming back to my hotel, doesn’t mean she is agreeing to sex. And I clowned a bit… “Maaaaaaaaybe we’ll have sex, but there are no promises.” And she smiled. And I took her hand, and she stood up… and we left.

YOHAMI: …still asking and announcing. There’s yet more margin for you to act and lead and take it. You can use your hands and your body and get it done, it’s easier than to ask, takes less energy than to follow. Let it happen. See where you want to go and go. She’ll come along.

This ^ from Yohami is about another girl, but I think I was close to doing what he is saying here on this date. Yohami likes “physical leading” better than verbal leading (better than giving her choices… better than asking… better than being a passive dumbass).

(I am really getting this ^ part as I write this piece.)

YOHAMI: Yep, you’re getting it. Let’s isolate it here:
YOHAMI: Non verbal communication takes an instant, doesn’t consume your energy (since it’s put to action as soon as you have a desire, you see the path, you take it), and it creates energy

YOHAMI: The nudge is power. The question is not.

The physical leading is powerful. And the verbal-questions are not. I’m starting to get that.

YOHAMI: Good game is when she never has to add a little energy to choose. That’s what I’m referring to when I say that you take the accelerator and let her have the brake, but then you drive in a way she never has to use the brake. She has control but is never required to use it, because you’re the one taking action.

^ Yohami magic, right here.

In this case, I could feel I was doing about half of the work with my body. Just standing up, taking her hand. I did some talking, but this was better than talking.

YOHAMI: So, try it next time. Shut up and do. Tell her “let’s go to my place” and leave it like that.

^ When I said, “Okay, that’s enough, I want to take you home,” I was serious, calibrated, and 100% committed. It really didn’t occur to me she’d say no. But she did. She refused. Mildly. Just part of the dance.

YOHAMI: Dont oversell, dont offer extra comfort, dont do any extra negotiation – there’s nothing to negotiate.

Here I failed Yohami’s test a bit as I said “it doesn’t mean we’ll have sex.” It worked (I think), but is less than ideal. I did negotiate a little bit.

And some part of me still feels like this is decent game. I know I told her “I will definitely kiss you,” and I still like that line. It’s honest, and to me, this is like saying “I know you’re not stupid.” Maybe I should just STFU and go back to the hotel, but I think telling her something she already knows won’t hurt you in this instance. It’s a way to be real. You’re not “tricking her.” She knows what’s up and you’re treating her like a grown up.

When I was in Tokyo, I was using “gelato” (as an alternate to Cheesecake) as an excuse to come back to my place. As Yohami was coaching me about my efforts to get the Chinese Virgin to come back to my apartment in Tokyo, he said this:

YOHAMI: She’ll ask what for, say “same we are doing here but better” or “I have the best gelato in the world” and kiss her.

That ^ is great game.

My Fashion Girl was not into public affection, but I still like this line combined with his note about kissing her at that moment. And this is him doing his “ramp” (I believe), but in an atypical order… he’s not ramping to the kiss. He’s ramping to taking her home, but as he delivers a perfect line, he can then kiss her and she’ll love it. The line is a ramp to the kiss. And the kiss is a ramp to the bounce. Good game.

YOHAMI: When she’s there and you go for the gelato you’ll find, probably to your surprise, how much she’s there for the sex and not the ice cream – even though you NEVER talked about sex.

Okay. Yes. He’s right.

Anyway, Fashion girl was a yes at this point. And we walked the two blocks to my hotel. Across the shiny floors, up to the 15th floor, key card, and there we were… in my room.

I had her put on some music that she likes. And then I pushed her back onto the bed. I asked her one time if she was comfortable, and that was it. For legal reasons and more, I think one clear moment of communication where you check in with her is smart. But I have overdone this before:

NASH: I had told her 100 times she could leave any time she wanted.
YOHAMI: The question is why? what made you say that.

This is from yet another date with a different girl where I kept checking to see if she wanted to leave (that girl was a young virgin, and very nervous). I did it too much. That wasn’t my main problem on that date, but I’ll never do that again. The comments from Yohami there are painful to read, but he is right. And there are some basic lessons there I am still trying to learn and digest.

So Fashion Girl and I are back at my place. I have her on the bed. We’re making out… and she’s starting to warm up. I get her shoes off. I take off her dress. She is in tights and a tank top. The makeout gets hotter… but she won’t let it go any further.

I get her bra unbuckled, but she won’t let me take it off. I tried several times. I push all the fabric aside and suck her surprisingly large nipples (that are on otherwise quite small boobs). She is hot. She kisses me, and likes it when I pull her on top of me. She bites me and grinds on my cock… but will not let me take her tights off. I tried. A lot.

YOHAMI: If you stop being willing to push against a resisting girl (which means acting before time, therefore making her push the brakes and take control), and instead tease and then double down when she’s aroused (which means she never pushes the brakes, and you have control) you’ll likely stop experiencing this stuff.

Here again I think Yohami is right. But I think I was doing some of what he recommends. I was teasing her. I had her turned on. She had a wall, and I’m not convinced it had much to do with me or my (lack of) game.

She was turned on, no doubt. But at each stage when I tried to get us “over the threshold,” she was a real “no.”

YOHAMI: In the big picture you’re telling her to follow you around to many places and she’s doing it. Because she wants the cock. Make sure you make it happen.

He is right, in most cases. And most men underestimate themselves, the girl, and the situations. Most men fail to escalate. I know from situations likes Miss Macau that you lead, escalate, and fuck the pretty thing. But in this case, I don’t know what else I could have done.

This is what was coming out of her mouth that night.

HER: I want to have sex with you…
HER: I know it would be amazing…
HER: But I know that tomorrow I will feel bad
HER: I cannot have sex with you because you are leaving tomorrow.

We spent some time in this stage. I’d kiss her, touch her, push my hand down the back of her tights, or pull them down across her hip and suck her hip bones, and then she’d push me away and make certain her tights returned to her waist.

And then she’d hug me. And kiss me. And bite my nipples. She was sweet, and sexy, and happy… but firm about not letting me go any further.

Goddammit I tried.

Eventually I made other offers… that she should sleep over. She smiled and refused. That we had two beds, and she should cuddle with me all night (if nothing else), but if not that, she could have her own bed (I was assuming that wouldn’t last), but she wouldn’t concede.

YOHAMI: You’re introducing a lot of noise here and disqualifying yourself.

This ^ was his comment from my story of the Chinese Virgin, where I played up not having sex, but just coming back “to fool around.” In this case this was a last ditch attempt to get her to stay… not a perfect story, but dammit I tried. I really assumed she was going to say yes… but she did not.

YOHAMI: When she wants dick all she has to do, naturally, is to put herself in a situation where you can make a move, and she can reciprocate the move by being receptive.

Was she? Was the Preacher’s Daughter there for sex two nights earlier??

Yohami’s certainty is hard to argue with, and yet… not always so.

Here’s what I think:

This girl was close to 30. She is somewhat conservative, but she isn’t naïve. I think she has fucked a few guys, and maybe a few that weren’t “long term” status. I think she has fucked and that was it. And I think it did make her feel bad.

I think she’s right. I never said that to her, but now, weeks after this date, I am agreeing with her. I think the sex would have been great. And I would have enjoyed every second of it, and the sleepover after.

But I think she is right… this particular girl would have felt bad the next day. Her saying “no” was her being wise and self-aware. It was NOT “token anti-slut defense.” It was real ASD.

And it’s not that “fuck and run” isn’t fun and a good thing for some women. I know some girls want exactly that. I know I’ve been with girls that had a very good time with me with fast seduction and a very short-term engagement. That is all true. I have no “purity fantasy” about these girls.

It’s that it isn’t fun for her. Not now. Not anymore. Not in this case.

I believe her.

YOHAMI: All these promises of comfort because you think putting your big dick in her is something she’ll have to suffer or endure or be uncomfortable about, instead of the very thing she craves and needs and came to the date for.

No, that’s not what I think. Yohami gives excellent advice, as most men won’t lead and won’t pull the trigger. I did lead in this case. And I was more than ready to fuck this little girl.

But this one is not trying to ride the cock carousel. Good for her.

I did everything I could to fuck her that night. She liked me very much and sent me some very heartfelt texts after I left town (for several days). She liked me. But she’s right. To get fucked and left in NYC wasn’t going to make her life better. She didn’t need another cocking. Some girls want that. This girl didn’t.

I don’t think I’m being soft or naïve here. I think she’s smart.

Sex is a good thing. For us and for the girls. But there is another side of a man’s knowledge that wants us to have 100+ lays but the girls to have “just a few.” Krauser says he wants a girl to have two lovers: him and her future husband (something like that). I think Krauser and this girl are kind of on the same page here… she’s already fucked a few Krausers. And I’m not her husband. She doesn’t need any more extraneous dick.

YOHAMI: But she did. She knows what’s up. She went there for it.

Yohami is always right.

Except that even though she was in my room, she didn’t want the cock on this night. She did not, in fact, come there “for it.”

So what was she there for? And what about the girl the night two nights before? Preacher’s Daughter wouldn’t even kiss me, but sat on my bed at 2 AM while I ran my hands over her and tried to escalate. She loved it too. The Fashion Girl would kiss and grind, but wouldn’t fuck. She’d lick my neck, but wouldn’t let me get my hands down her pants.

Why were they there?

NASH: I am operating under the theory lately that girls run a ton of completely 1/2-assed experiments. They’re girls, not “master planners,” so they throw up a tiny effort… and often, because of US… that is enough.

This ^ is from a response I gave to a comment on my story about the Preacher’s Daughter. So… I think they liked me. I think I was like that last drink you have at the bar when you’ve already had enough… you don’t need it, but you want it, because you don’t want the night to end.

I think that’s what was up with these girls.

Both those girls liked the buzz I gave them. I think, with more time, the Fashion Girl definitely would have fucked me. And maybe, with the right circumstances, the Preacher’s Daughter might have fucked me too. But on this trip, it was not meant to be.

Fast seduction was too fast for those girls.

I argued with Tom from TDdaygame when he posted this ^ (he’s since deleted that Tweet). But maybe he is right… they just weren’t that hungry for out-of-town cock.

Fast sex is available, but in general, “six days” is a short timeframe to try to pickup and get laid. It can be done, cetainly, but it’s sub-optimal and you lose a lot of girls as you’re too transient to have much appeal.

TOM TORERO: How long should your trip be? A long weekend is too short, one week is still too tight, but two weeks is the ideal timeframe.
— Street Hustle

Tom thinks “any longer than two weeks, and burn-out/fatigue kicks in.” I disagree. I was loving it at 4+ weeks in Tokyo… but I agree that one week was “still too tight.” For a one week trip, you have to find girls that “only want sex.” If they want anything else… or even “sex + a little something else”… there just isn’t enough time. So you get maybe’s turning into no’s.

I had two seemingly close calls. Two girls in my room, on a one week trip. I don’t think I was amazingly lucky (I think I was a bit unlucky, actually). But I’m proud of what I did.

YOHAMI: She was for the sex the whole time.

Maybe. I know some guy could have fucked one or both of those girls. But I ran proper game. I’m no newbie. My inner game issues are fine, I put in the time on the street, I closed a lot of leads, I got three girls out in 6 nights (four dates total), but I couldn’t close them.

Perhaps with more time.

And meanwhile, I know I’m not making the same mistakes I was earlier in the year. Some of the same mistakes, I’m sure, but not all of the same mistakes.

For the second time that week I took a girl back down in the elevator, happy (her) and unfucked (me). I sent the Fashion Girl home in a car. She left having had a very good experience. She messaged me for a few days after I was back in California… but I let it drop off. It was a NYC thing. It’s over now.

I am left with her slow quietness. I loved the contrast of her slow, feminine quiet versus the endless shriek and wail of the streets of New York. I did. She was charming. I wish I had fucked her. And that she had spent the night. And that we slept close. And fucked again in the morning. And that she was happy about all of it.

But that’s not what happened. It was a bit frustrating. But it was fun. It was a good experience. I’d do it all again.

Thanks, Yohami. And thanks to all the pretty girls that give Yohami a reason to “put me on the anvil” and do his best to “pound me into gold.” Thanks, man. I appreciate it.

You are fucking genius. And I am a willing and grateful student.

Viva daygame.