I had a date last night… with a woman. Yes to that.
It’s been a while since I had a date to talk about. It’s been a thirsty season. I’ve been putting in my sets, with little to show. One of the most recent sets, was a charming white girl from daygame earlier this week.
I am usually hell bent on finding time w/ Asian girls, but when this particular white girl was bouncing down the sidewalk, I popped her open.
She was… lovely. Short girl. Straight, pretty blonde hair. Nice style, with a pink sweater, jeans, and tan lace-up boots. I’m guessing 27-30?
I am into “the story” part of my stack right now – really working on that skill. The story with this one, was “Hey… you caught my eye… you have this girly pink sweater.. and these army boots… I love the contrast.” She loved it. Nice, easy chat. I told her I wanted to see her again, and she gave me the classic “maybe” in response.
What I did differently here, if anything, was I did the number close in a series of commands (once I got the “maybe”). “Okay, get out your phone.” She did. I gave her my number, told her to call it. She did. I told her I’d msg her, and she bounced off.
That was a good set, I liked it… but I’m getting a lot of sets that *feel* that good, and go nowhere. I could tell this one was different, as soon as the texting started…
NASH: Hey Girl. Fun to meet you today. Are you 5 ft tall?
HER: Well hey there. Fun meeting you too. And that’s the last time I wear that outfit, stealin inches from me, 5’2″ : ) And u, hmmm… 5’7″??
I assume she’s teasing me back there… I’m over 5’10.” I ignored that.
NASH: 5’2″, ha! All the 5’0″ girls say that.
NASH: It’s cool, Lady. Tiny is cute.
HER: teehee, alright cool : )
Those were the opening shots. The thing that I noticed… nice, long, jokey response from her. That, is investment, something I’m not getting from most girls. This is her showing she’s a Yes girl. Thank you, Baby Jesus.
She went on to give me multiple msgs on that thread. I stayed quiet, and then I asked her out a day or so later. She said she might have plans of some kind… but was quick to tell me she was free and my plan worked for her. “Cool,” I said. “Cool, see you there,” she said.
It was now Friday night, 7:30, at this gallery/bar (which is a great place for dates). I was strolling around, looking at the art and she was a few minutes late. She looked… fantastic. Cuter than on the street. We got drinks. We talked art… some of which is a DHV for me, as I am an artist and know a lot about art/painting.
I teased her. A lot. Not all of it was “teases,” a lot was just breaking rapport. I broke rapport 100 times. It started when I suggested she might be from South Dakota (not an especially “cool” state, here in the US). We talked about her ex-BFs, and I kept suggesting she had “less than 100,” which would always make her eyes bug out. She started to keep track of how many “deal breaker” things I was saying. She said when I get to “3,” she was going to leave. I laughed. I told her I wanted to hit at least 7 before the date was over. I pushed her buttons. “P in the V” always got a rise out of her. Ha.
We talked about sex. I got to ask my favorite date question, “How do you like to cum?” She said, “Oh, we’re going there?”, and then told me. She likes to be on top. She’s not into “fingers” (one of the choices I gave her), unless they are her own, and then (I confirmed) just to rub her clit until she cums. (I’m guessing, as she likes to be on top, that is also about being able to stimulate her clit… she’s a clit girl, I bet.) She says she’s only come from oral a couple of times, but that most guys have no idea what they are doing when they go down. I told her going down was a personal favorite of mine. I didn’t ask if she was multi-orgasmic, but I thought about it.
It’s a big space, the gallery, and I got to move her around 100 times. She bought the 2nd round of drinks. Suddenly, it was 10 o clock.
I was planning on ending it there, but she throws out “unless we’re going someplace else,” so I played thru. Took her to a dive bar I know.
On the way to the dive bar, there was a series of funny moments.
She spat at one point, and I didn’t notice, but she confessed she spits a lot. That’s gross to me, and I told her so, light heartedly. I compared her to the old Chinese guys that smoke cigarettes and spit on the street. I asked her why, and she said she has too much saliva. And I said, “Oh, you’re literally the kind of girl that ‘spits it out, doesn’t swallow.'” And she got the reference, went real/sexy on me, told me she LOVES to swallow, it makes it better. And then told me… “I love sucking cock.” Okay. No comment.
And then, I was still teasing her, so I say, “Okay, so on the one hand, you’re moderately attractive, and on the other… you’re a spitter.” And this really got her. It was the “moderately attractive” part. She got a little emotional about that one. And this is where she started saying that she really wasn’t sure that I liked her.
(I have to say… I love the “moderately attractive” bit. I will use that again. I’ve never heard another player use that, and it amazes me how we teach ourselves lines, just but running game and “red lining” it a bit… the lines just come out.)
Did I overgame this girl? Was this perfect? I have no idea. There’s more.
I have lost two girls recently (out of 5-6 girls that would/did date me), by overgaming them. I think I am a bit uncalibrated right now. Not enough game/teasing in the pickup (that was Yad’s comment to me) and then maybe too much via text.
I lost an online date last week because she said she was “on the taller side” and I went for a tease, saying “Are you trying to tell me you have big feet? Like how big? Like beach volleyball player big??” That killed that conversation. Dead. I think that is hysterical, but maybe I need to tone it down? It is a fine line, my friends.
Anyway… in the dive bar… it’s been a pretty long date, 4 hours in, I’m getting tired. We have tons to talk about, we’ve very close, cheek to cheek, touching each other. She is doing some very femmy things and I’m starting to get turned on. At one point, I’m about to tell her one of my personal favorite “femmy poses” a girl can do, and she tells me not to tell her, as if I do, she’ll never do it, just to be stubborn. We’re touching each other a lot, her hands on my knee. And one point, she leans into me, and I could feel her nipple thru her shirt. Hot.
So… I don’t remember what the comment was, but she got fired up again, told me she didn’t want to be insulted all night, and she couldn’t tell if I liked her, and that maybe she should go. I don’t think she was serious about leaving, but the rest seemed sincere.
I dropped the gaming for a minute, looked her in the eyes, told her that I knew she could tell that I liked her. That it was obvious we liked each other. That we shouldn’t have to “overtalk” this stuff.
Soon after, I went in for kiss. She barely avoided it. I just moved on with the conversation. I tried again. Holding her little head in my hands, light kiss.
I think we were both tired at this point. And probably sexually frustrated. There was a lot of struggle going on… like a 2 yr old right before it takes a nap.
We stood up. More fight/love talk between us. Another kiss. I was physically teasing her, getting really close, hands on her chest/neck, but not kissing her. I told her “go slow,” which is a command I like. I got very hot. I got breathy. I told her so.
We left the bar. I walked her toward her apartment for a few blocks. More serious talk. She doesn’t like games. I told her she knew I liked her. We’d kiss again… light kissing.
Regarding overgaming and what to do about it, check this out:
“As you get more bold, you’ll cross the line many times, and it’ll cost you the girl.
“However… the more girls you’re pissing off, the more girls you’re fucking…
“However, I don’t want you to shoot yourself in the foot, so I’m going to share a tip that took me literally years to master. Why? Because it requires a lot of discipline. And, this discipline applies
beyond text game – it applies to all the interactions with a girl.
“And the key is this: NEVER backpedal. Even if you say something too suggestive, aggressive or presumptuous, don’t ever retract it. Throughout the entire courtship process, no matter how short
or long it may be, the women will be testing you and watching for the slightest sense of hypocrisy, incongruence, hesitation, falseness. Confirm her worst fears – that you’re a fraud – and you’ll lose her.
“And, keep in mind, you’re responsible for how she perceives you. The image she constructs of you is the sum total of all the information you reveal… And the surest way to quickly bring down the house is to reverse course on what you said – or hesitate on an action. She’ll quickly realize you’re not the man she thought you were, and her sexual interest in you will plummet. There’s no recovery from such a situation.”
— Paul Janka, from his TextGame PDF
Janka is talking about sexiness in texts here, but I think this applies (like he says) “to all the interactions with a girl.”
For my part… I am crossing the line, and burning opportunities. I know that. Too much theory, not enough practice. I don’t know that I did any damage last night, and I’m sure the rapport breaking was part of why it was a good date. But I like Janka’s point about not retracting what I said. I did go “real” with her when she started to freakout, but I didn’t backpedal. Hmmm.
I feel pretty confident that a better player would have pushed a little harder, and would have sexed her last night. I think that was very possible, sex was very much on the table. I wasn’t trying to close her last night (which might be a problem, on it’s own), but I definitely wasn’t pushing for it, and I think sex was available.
As we ended the date, I walked away, and then came back, told her I wanted “another taste.” Kissed her again, all very light. As I held her, I told her, “still not a proper kiss.” She said, “maybe next time, when it’s not so weird.” I smiled and walked away.
I was buzzing with hormones when I got home. Another beer and a smoke and I passed out.
This morning, I hit her up:
NASH: Good Morning, Girl.
NASH: I have you and your accent in my head today…
NASH: You are a charming girl
HER: Afternoon to ya : )
HER: And that is all very sweet. Thanks for taking me out. It was… interesting : )
HER: But definitely a good time : )
NASH: See… we’re both so sweet.
Here, I was trying to go a little more rapport/chill. The accent thing is actually a small tease (she does have an accent, but for a weird reason). We went back/forth a little more, I wanted to cement things with a little comfort, and avoid any more “tussle” between us.
I am still buzzing about this one. She’s tiny. Grabbing her by her little wrists last night totally got my chemicals going.
I’ll try to get her out Tuesday/Thursday. I’m kind of assuming the close… or at least some serious fooling around. My place. We’ll see. She got me, that one. I like her.
And I’m very thankful for the practice… and to have something fun to show from all the fucking sets!!!!
A date with a cute girl. A makeout. We move the model forward.