This is Part II of my story where I combine a lay report with some Game theory.
In Part I of this story, I talked about Mystery’s “Seven Hour Rule.” That was a set-up for this post… my experience of properly penetrating Miss Nervous on our second date. With some of Mystery’s theory behind us (and more comments here as well), I’ll share the details of how I closed my first 20 year old girl from daygame (the youngest girl I have fucked since college).
It’s another notch, there is that. And I very much enjoyed the weekend (mostly the second half, actually). I gained some more precious reference experiences. But these two posts are as much about Miss Nervous as they are about me. About the psychology of an interesting little girl that accepted an offer to spend a weekend with a “dangerous man.” And maybe even more so… an opportunity for us, as Players, to put more attention into female psychology as we work to improve our Game.
Here we go:
INTRODUCING MISS NERVOUS:
Miss Nervous is a young girl form Japan. I met her in California in June of this year. She was traveling alone when we met, in my city for a couple of days. I approached her at the mall. She is a low “7,” perhaps, but she is my type, and she has what we might call “great energy.” The set was charming and fun. I took her Line App contact details. It was a clean, simple little set with a feminine young girl… the kind of interaction that makes you love daygame.
The next day we had a date… and it was a highlight of the summer for me.
I walked her across town for the best pizza in my city. Right away, it was obvious to me she was a healthy, happy, socially comfortable little girl. She has the opposite of “daddy issues:” her parents love her and it shows in the way that sunshine beams from her lightly freckled face. She is a trusting girl. What a lovely type.
After lunch, I asked if she wanted to have tea in my neighborhood? She did. And we were part way through tea when I asked if she wanted to “meet my cats.” She hesitated briefly, but walked right inside as I bounced her around the corner from the coffee place to my house. Inside… I think I kissed her in the first five minutes….
And she lept into the kiss. It was fucking great. She had some real passion that day.
And then I walked her down the hall to my room and… last minute resistance. LMR, that crucial point right before sex happens (or doesn’t), is my “favorite” part of Game right now. It is such a terribly interesting stage in a seduction.
I am learning to love LMR… and see it as an opportunity. When I negotiate LMR well, I can use it to build value. And trust. And often get laid. But also, LMR is teaching me to understand girls in a more sophisticated way. And to give them a better experience. For a man that wants to work toward mastery with women, LMR can be a crucible for growth.
I have a lot to say about that day, but for now… understand that I took her from being very uptight (her little fists clenched up by her neck), deep in a defensive gesture… to being “wide open” for me. It was glorious to see her unfold.
That day, as we heated up, and my hands found the skin of her belly, and I was reaching up her skirt, she said in English (through her thick Japanese accent), “I bleed.” She was on her period. No sex that day. I was perfectly fine that that. We worked through her defensiveness that day and she totally opened up for me. I was proud of myself… and of her, for letting me lead her through the experience.
She was an adorable little makeout partner. That sexy little thing, 20 years old, thousands of miles from home, and in the bed of very grown up man.
She went home the next day.
But in the weeks following our first date we worked together to set up a chance to see each other again. In situations like this one, each man should do what he wants… but I don’t want to be involved with travel plans for a girl without some clarity as to whether the trip will be sexual.
With that said… I don’t recommend being too literal either. Turning a sexy weekend into some kind of “sexual contract” is flatfooted and coercive (that isn’t the vibe I am aiming for).
As we talked about the trip, I felt sure I “threatened” her enough with my sexuality. I was role playing the “bad man.” And she had responded in a girly way:
MISS NATURAL: You have already show me your gentle side a little, but I want to know it more🙈lol
NASH: You know I am a little bit DANGEROUS
NASH: Maybe you will see both sides
MISS NATURAL: You may be a DANGEROUS MAN a little…
MISS NATURAL: But I know you are so gentle.
MISS NATURAL: I wish all Japanese men would be like you
This ^ is her talking about how I walked her through the LMR back in June. I did show some gentleness… but I also had my hand up her skirt three hours into the first date. A man can be both.
The rest of this is her and I acknowledging sex in a cheesy, but effective way. I don’t expect girls to take responsibility for anything, but I do need to have this kind of talk before I commit to a trip. I got it done. We had set expectations. She was in.
We had indirectly confirmed this was to be an “adult date.”
Fast forward seven weeks and the plan was set to meet in Japan. Not in her city, but in a city where I had some business to take care of.
My confidence aside, the scenario was rather low probability: A 20 year old girl, jumping on a plane to travel to another city, to see a much older man she knew almost nothing about. Did I mention she has (had?) a boyfriend (at least I think she does). The whole plan was a possibility… but not a likely one.
At this point I was in Japan. And as the date approached, I had heard nothing from her for several days. I had fucked Miss Compliant the weekend before, I was running daygame every day, having a good time, one date with a new girl, working several other leads… I was just about to give up on her, but I bumped her via message the night before she was supposed to come and… she came back with enthusiasm:
MISS NERVOUS: Our trip starts tomorrow!
MISS NERVOUS: I am so excited…
MISS NERVOUS: So I think I can’t sleep well tonight! Lol
Ahhh, there you go. She would visit me after all.
I’ll be honest… I felt a sense of relief. I am perfectly capable of entertaining myself. I could have gamed that weekend if she didn’t show… but I didn’t want to add any “emotional scar tissue” to the list of instances where girls commit to plans and then flake. For her to not want to come would have been fine. But to let me book the trip and then disappear… it would have made me a bit “harder” for the next girl… and that is not what I want in my game.
But she was coming. She messaged me again in the morning, suddenly very communicative. Good deal.
Miss Nervous arrived Friday afternoon.
We met at the train station. She wore a “doll like” dress. White, with blue stripes. And a blue ribbon around her waist. At the end of the bare skin of her smooth legs were shiny, glittery leather shoes. She wasn’t sexy. Or particularly beautiful. But she was very cute… the kind of girl where the best parts of her come out as she talks and when she moves. Writing about her now, makes me miss her.
As I saw her, I remembered what a joy she was to be around on our one and only date back in America. I remembered how I had liked her more and more with each hour together. And I definitely remembered her turning on the passion during our time making out on my bed. I recommitted to what would be another very long date… three days with her.
I toured her around the station a bit. We bought some groceries and some flowers for the apartment. We caught up a little. We barely had any history together, but I’m very used to stepping into intimacy with a girl quickly and… it wasn’t hard to be with her. I know how to lead in a situation like this.
And then I took her back to my kickass little apartment. I gave her a minute to look around. And then I kissed her. And it wasn’t as hot as back in June in my city… but I used that first kiss to break the sexual barrier and get us started down that path. The scenario was note-for-note like my date one week earlier with Miss Compliant.
I took her to dinner. And after, back to my place. And I let us settle for a few minutes before I got after her.
There we were, after dinner on the first night of the trip… it was time to make it happen. I had her alone in my place. I wanted her. I started to kiss her. I took her to my bed. I laid her on her back. I started escalating. I was slowly peeling off her clothes.
And as I had her laid out on the bed, and more of her skin exposed… her body was pretty fucking amazing. Perfect skin. Just enough weight to make her slightly “full.” Bigger boobs than I have been with in a long while… and so “new” they were blended perfectly to her chest, resistant to gravity, a ripe 20 years of “delicious” to look at.
It is shocking how hot these simple, introverted girls can be with their clothes off. It still surprises me. She was glorious that night.
But as I turned up the heat… she locked up. The kissing was there, but sort of lifeless. I was looking at a tight face. Just like the early moments of our first date, she had her clenched little fists up by her neck again. I wasn’t pushing hard at all… but it was all defense from her.
I was very surprised. I thought we’d dealt with all this already back in June.
Here is more from Mystery:
“I am looking for ‘flinch testing.'”
That ^ is an interesting note about LMR. She was, in fact, “flinching.” That is a great tip about what to look for in this kind of situation.
It is true I am interested in LMR (I really am). And I have a lot of experience. I know what to do. So I started to dance in and out with the sexual pressure. I would kiss her hard. Then roll off. Some making out… and then some less sexual “bonding.” That was the plan.
Here is Mystery again:
“If I have to touch again and again, over the course of the night, to get her accustom to my touch… and know that every time I do compromise her comfort a little bit (by holding her), that she gets let go every time. I need to demo that. I got to get her accustomed to me.”
Good description here ^ from Mystery. Very good instruction.
It is hard to find specific, practical advice on the topic LMR. And what Mystery is saying is a great way to explain a lot of what I have been doing for the last two years: Watch for signs of discomfort, recognize it, give her space, show her I am paying attention, and step it forward as she is ready. It has been “working” for me. To get me laid, yeah. But for a better time for both me and the girl. For an experience that makes us both want to come back for more.
The goal is not to blast through her LMR. The goal is to open her up. The goal is to get her to relax into your leadership, and then the sex is “easy” (something like that). That’s the goal for me at this stage of my game.
In this case, however… she was terribly, terribly nervous (thus why we gave her the name “Miss Nervous”). She was willing… but not enjoying it.
Just because she is not saying “no,” doesn’t mean the “no” isn’t there – in her eyes.
I’ll repeat this quote from the first part of this post:
“If she makes you wait for sex… she’s actively assessing her other options. You’re not her priority.”
I like TheRedIntrovert. And he is likely right sometimes. But this scenario is a good example of how narrow-minded the advice we hear can be. Was she really “actively assessing her other options” in my bed that night? Really? She had flown half-way across Japan to stay with me for the weekend. Was she showing a “lack of respect?” Was she “wasting my time?” That stuff is so tone-deaf to my ears… and misses so much opportunity.
I have come to the conclusion that this kind of thinking is the male version of “solipsism.” We usually accuse girls of being solipsistic, but this is a versions that Players are often guilt of: Men, completely blind and disinterested in the girl’s psychology… and completely absorbed in themselves.
In this case, she was just nervous. Period. Happens all the time.
That first night of the trip, I would move her along, pause, totally stop with sex for a bit, talk to her… talk about sex… talk about her nervousness… tell her I knew it was normal (it is)… we’d laugh… and then… I’d test her nerves, try to push her along a bit. I’d try different things. “Swing my dick,” as Yohami would say. “Give her more of what she likes, and less of what she doesn’t like.”
But I couldn’t even get her dress off for the first hour. It was remarkable.
And there were odd details, like: I could pull her nipples out of her bra, suck them, but with the dress still up around her shoulders, her holding it there, in those nervous little fists. She just wasn’t ready.
And none of this was hot. It sounds so good to be in bed with a 20 year old (and it is), but this was about “patience,” not sex. It was a chance for me to practice being mature, not dominant. And sometimes… that is part of the game.
Eventually… I got her naked. And my God, what a fantastic body.
I went down on her, assuming that might push her over the edge from nerves to passion. That is a fair plan. I have seen girls that don’t “heat up” until sex is already underway (my post about Miss Compliant has a lot of that kind of evidence in it). But she could barely breath as I had my head between her thighs… so I rolled off again.
This was not what I was expecting.
In the range of responses of “fight,” to “flight,” to “fuck,” or “freeze:” Miss Nervous was properly frozen. She was freezing up neurologically as it came time to take her across the sexual threshold.
Like Krauser’s 22 girls (see my last post)… It was just too much for her.
“They were getting to the hand-on-dick-in-sex-location stage much faster than they could handle.”
To reference Mystery’s “rule” again… we were (in total) at about six hours together at this point in our relationship (including the first date back in America). His “rule” is not iron-clad… but it is a good guideline. And in the context of this Player, that Girl, and the Context of this story…
She wasn’t ready.
So I stopped. Completely. And I loved on her. And I made it playful.
I was surprised, somewhat frustrated, but also completely fascinated.
As I lay in bed with her, I wondered why she had said yes to this trip. I was very glad she did, but it was a bold decision for a very young, inexperienced girl. It was probably more than she was really ready for, and it showed that first night together.
But we were only six hours into a 40 hour weekend. I was responsible for her. It was time to give her a break. So I did.
Game over… for the night.
She showered. And I came to see her in the bathroom as she dressed afterwards. And she was cute and funny…
And shockingly hot as she pulled the panties up her smooth legs. Wow. I picked her up, held her to my chest, and she kissed me. The mood was light. We watched a movie and fell asleep together.
I was surprised. And disappointed to some degree. But still curious.
I want to be master of seduction and that will require a lot of experience. This is what experience looks like.
The next morning I had a little adventure planned for us… but there was no hurry. I would see if she was ready to take things a bit further.
We woke up and I fed us mandarins and bananas – because they are delicious, but also to sweep away morning breath. And I kissed her, and she took it. And I got her naked, and quicker this time.
Her 20 year old body looked fantastic in my bed… but the tightness in her face was still there. Unmistakable.
I dragged her to the edge of the bed, and ran my tongue over her clit again. She wasn’t completely frozen, but despite my best efforts, very little “signs of life” this time either.
I changed tactics. I made her kiss me and touch my cock. And she did, but it wasn’t hot… even though she was beyond tempting, laying there naked beside me, with the taste of her pussy on my face. Her kissing was getting richer. Maybe she was “thawing out” a little… but it wasn’t on.
“It’s simply unbelievable how many women were in my bed or on my sofa and just wouldn’t fuck.”
Oh, I get it. I really get it. I have seen this before. And it wasn’t because I was pushing too hard… or not pushing enough.
I took a shower. I was, actually, a little resentful now. I can admit that.
Maybe she would “tool me” all weekend? Maybe she was the kind of girl that would put herself in a position like this and insist that sex needn’t happen. Maybe I was the kind of man that just couldn’t get it done? All of this was on my mind.
But I have an unbelievable education in Game. I have dated hundreds of girls. I have fucked many. I can read a girl. I can see when a girl is not into me, or when she is “disgusted.” When it was clearly not going to happen.
And this didn’t seem like any of that.
She liked me. She was having a good time. She was available emotionally (for the most part). But she was locked up… sexually.
I took her on our little day trip. I was a bit quiet until we made it to the train… but I got back in stride. I could do my duty… as a seducer. It was flowing for me again. It wasn’t sexy, but it was fun to be with her. She was having a good experience. We were back on track.
A few hours later… after a sweaty walk through humid air… and a lunch that looked mediocre but tasted fantastic… we were looking at some excellent paintings from 1850 in a little museum by the sea… and I felt something in her “shift.” It was subtle… but something changed for her. Only the Daygame Gods can know exactly why… but I felt it.
As we toured the museum, I put my arm around her and squeezed her little shoulders, sexually threatening her a little in the moments when we were alone. I did this in part as I could stare down her shirt (intentionally getting caught each time) at her miraculous tits… and also just to dominate her and sexualize the situation.
But now… there was a sparkle in her eyes. There was something like flirtation in these sexual moments.
At this point, we were (including the night’s sleep) about 20 hours into the date.
I took her home.
The gentle rocking of the train ride back into town put her (and half of the other passengers on the train) to sleep. She leaned her little head against my shoulder. It wasn’t sex, but there was something more “open” about her now… the bond was on, and I could really feel the change in her.
When we got home, I showered. It felt good to be back in air-conditioned air. We had about two and half hours until dinner. We watched this great movie together and she was so much warmer. It was… maybe it was the way she leaned against me?
Something that had been in the way was now removed.
The movie was over… we had about an hour plus before dinner. She smiled at me, I took her hand, stood her up, lifted her little body off the floor and into my arms, and walked her the ten feet or so to the bed.
And she was… soft, open, peaceful, and completely compliant. Thank the Daygame Gods… it was finally on.
The kissing was suddenly hot. Her eyes had more dance in them. There was no tension in her arms. I was more than ready, and suddenly… so was she.
I was a little rough. I didn’t bother to eat her pussy (even though I love to). I kissed her hard. And I stripped her naked. Both of us. I put on one of the world’s greatest condoms and then…
I fucked a 20 year old long-lead from Japan. +1 Daygame.
And I don’t know why, but I was very conscious of how perfectly I slipped into her. It was… like a warm knife into butter. It was perfect. And very hot.
We fucked for a bit, and she stared at me like I wanted her too. It wasn’t quite as “on” as our first makeout (who knows why), but she was “wide open” for me. There were tiny remnants of nervousness, but she was reaching out… she was a partner in the sex for the first time all weekend. And I came inside her young, little body.
After… we laid there in the bed and talked. She had a beautiful post-sex glow… big eyes, pliant. She was fully open now. It was solid. Great experience for me. And she looked like a very happy girl.
Was it “seven hours?” No. It was way more than that. It was maybe 28 hours… counting our first date. Maybe Mystery should call it the “28 Hour Rule.” Jesus.
Some girls are like that.
But I don’t think the time involved was really about me. Or my value… or my game… or my ability to escalate. I am sure there were sub-optimal parts of my game… but that wasn’t the issue here, as I see it.
It was about her. And I think way too often we leave that part of the story out. This is the point of whole post.
“It’s all based on how comfortable SHE is. If she is comfortable with some sexual activity, back at the place, so be it. If she feels discomfort, then we can just play a little bit. That’s fine. Let her sleep. Get her in the morning. That counts. You need seven hours. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Start again in the morning. All that time you were asleep together, that’s comfortable building time.”
That is exactly right. I am so impressed with Mystery in these comments. You can hear real experience in those quotes. So calibrated and mature. I have never really been a fan of his, but I am now. Well done, Mystery.
It is about the Player. And about the Context of him and her. But it is certainly (and quite often) about particular aspects of the Girl’s psychology, her experience, her expectations, and her comfort level.
From Mystery’s talk:
SOME GUY: You say, “The Game is played in comfort?”
MYSTERY: The game is WON in comfort.
Hmmmm. Interesting. Yeah.
But calling all this “comfort” is a low-resolution way to see it. Given the detail of this case-study, to just call it “comfort” is to miss a lot of what is going on here.
It WAS about her comfort. But I didn’t “do” comfort. The comfort happened on its own… as I did a range of things… and the TIME (I emphasize the time) allowed her to begin to bond and open up… to sex… and more.
“Perhaps it was really shared emotion and experience that creates relationships, not seven hours of routines followed by two hours of sex.”
— Neil Strauss, from The Game
The whole weekend “bloomed” as the sex happened. Or rather… the weekend bloomed… and the sex was a natural side effect of the “communion” of her and I. When she was ready… everything feel into place.
And afterwards… there were layers and layers of relief of me:
First, the “payoff” of me sticking to my commitment to carry her through her nervousness. To be responsible for her. And the feeling of (in fact) giving her a good experience… and seeing her, slowly… step into the light. Amazing. I felt that begin in the art museum… but it was rich as the sex finally landed. Hans Comyn’s “Third Phase of the Seducer” is when you can “make her shine”… I had done that here.
And then… the satisfaction of feeling the heat from her opening up, “surrendering,” and pushing her little heart at me. This was a bit of The Conqueror.
And then there was the relief of the orgasm… coming inside her after being (more than) tempted over and over in our first 24 hours together. This was The Hedonist.
And also: The relief in the confirmation the weekend wouldn’t be some fucked up “game” of withholding and shit tests.
It was not that at all. It was a great time. No horror stories of “bad behavior” to share here… none at all. Part of me was prepared to see the date turn out like that… but it didn’t.
It turned out fantastic.
Post-sex, I rinsed off once more… washing the sauce of her perfect little pussy off my balls. And, alone in the shower, I shook my head in wonder at the whole thing. I am still shaking my head. At her. And at the similarities of her vs Miss Compliant the weekend before. There were so many similarities.
Lessons often come in themes.
I had said I wanted some “real experience” with last minute resistance. I have said I want to be an expert in all of this. I have asked for the opportunity to lead inexperienced girls into sex. And I got everything asked for. And it was harder than I had imagined. And it was a bit overwhelming to break through and have it all work out the way it did.
I am an older man. I’m in decent shape. I definitely have some admirable qualities… but sometimes I feel like I am “making art out of trash.” It’s not as bad as all that. But this one was hard…. and that’s what this feels likes sometimes. I am 46 years old and past my “prime” in some ways, certainly. And still… in so many ways I have never been so successful with women. And I am quite aware it’s not supposed to be like this.
I really felt all this that night.
I grew up (a little more) on that trip. It made me stronger, and yet it filled me with wonder. I am more and more certain about myself. And I am more and more “open minded” about the potential of the girls… so many possibilities.
But fucking A… I wasn’t at all sure how it was going to end. I was as surprised as anyone.
She slept so close the last night we were together. 10X more affectionate. Touching me. Kissing me. Holding my hand as we slept. A remarkable turn-around from the first night of the trip.
None of it had been about escalating or “going fast.” It was about patience. And leadership. And care. Not all girls need that… but many do.
We ended the trip with another round of sex the last morning. A little rougher. When I licked her juicy little box again… she finally made some beautiful noises. And I could hear her breathing heavily as my tongue reached up inside her. Afterwards… I held her little arms behind her back and fucked her from behind while I stared at her wide open ass. Marvelous.
She was much more into it that last morning. Everything was hotter. Just like Miss Compliant the weekend before.
Time. It takes time for some girls to bloom.
You can’t (necessarily) take a girl from “nothing” to “filthy passion” overnight. For both the girls I fucked on that trip, I saw them “thaw,” and warm up… embracing some sexual pleasure in relatively short stretches of time. I saw them gain, and embrace, new sexual experience(s). And I was a proud man, in both cases.
Revisiting a great quote from my last post:
“What if slowing the game down buys you enough comfort for her finally to get naked with you and feel comfortable about that? Some guys, they go too soon. What I’d rather do is play a nice solid game.”
It’s not that we “need seven hours” before sex. “We” may not need much time at all. But isn’t always about us.
It’s about the girls. It’s about the particular level of comfort for a given girl. And don’t make the mistake that what I am talking about here are our dumbass “comfort stories.” Again, this isn’t about “run more comfort, bro.” It’s not about something we do. It’s about the girl’s own internal measure of comfort that is required to unlock her little head, her volatile heart, her unsure-and-then-wet-and-ready body.
Do you get it? I am really trying to.
“It misses the point that you’re trying to seduce the women. And sometimes the women give you the timetable. You can’t impose your timetable on them.”
Sometimes we are “solipsistic” as men, where we make everything about us (or about the fucking “techniques”). Sometimes it’s not about us at all. We are wise to allow some room in our analysis for the individual psychologies of these girls.
“It’s all based on how comfortable SHE is.”
That is what Mystery means by “seven hours.” I think that is right. The seven hours (or 20+ hours, in my case) are for her. Again… as this lesson finally sinks in, I am impressed.
I can debrief a bit and say, that yes, she did know we would have sex. I asked her, over breakfast on our last day. She said the sex took her a while… because she just wasn’t ready. She was just (her words) “so nervous”.
I said, “you knew we would have sex?” And she smiled, and said, “yeah.” And she giggled. “I knew.” Okay. I bet she did… but that didn’t mean she was ready when she walked through the door.
At dinner that night after I finally fucked her… I asked her: “How will you describe this weekend to your friends? What will you say about this city? About this part of Japan?” I was asking about the trip, not about her and I specifically. I wanted to look through her eyes for a moment at what the weekend was like for her. I was curious about her thoughts… but she surprised me:
Her eyes narrowed, and with a slightly mischievous smile she said, “I don’t have to tell them.”
Can you follow that? She wasn’t going to tell her friends at all. They didn’t know. And they won’t know. She didn’t tell anyone she was coming to see me.
That is an amazing detail to me. This was all – indeed – proper “Secret Society” for her. I had perceived the weekend as “low probability,” in part, because she had to fly in to see me. But maybe that made it all the more likely… less chance to get “caught.” She is a nervous, sweet little girl… but those girls live in the Secret Society too.
More than a few times on this weekend, I wondered if she was still with her boyfriend… but I never asked. I didn’t want to make her feel bad. And I don’t really care.
I’ll never know. We mostly never know. Game is an art, not a science. And it’s fascinating.
On the train on her last morning I explained to her what the English word “omission” means. I said she had had an experience with me, and she would not tell her friends. She agreed. It would be “an omission,” I said. And a complicated little smile crept across her face… and the daggers in her eyes flashed again.
Amazing. Girls… they are so interesting to me.
She messaged me when she got back to Tokyo. A long message full of praise and thanks. And she said, “I’m sorry for showing you strained attitude the first day.”
It was sweet of her to say so, but it wasn’t necessary. That first day was hard, but I’m not at all sorry about it. Not at all. The whole episode was captivating.
My thanks to Miss Nervous – my little “teacher” in this story. And once again to Miss Compliant (from the week before). It was quite a learning experience… and in the end, a very good time.
What a crazy ride. Viva Daygame.