Sex With The Siren.
We had sex last night. The sex, and the night, were remarkable. This girl is amazing.
I posted about her a few times now. How we met, and then met again. Our first date. Our second date was Tuesday, I didn’t write about it…. here are some notes.
I messaged her Monday (two days after our first date):
NASH: I want to hear your voice.
NASH: I have some time tmrw night…
NASH: If you need more time, pick Friday or Saturday night.
NASH: I already have ideas for us.
HER: All right~, I have dinner with my friends on Friday, and have a little travel…
HER: Let’s meet tomorrow~
Hmmm, cool. I really didn’t expect her to pick Tuesday. But as I am spinning several plates this week (6 dates in 5 days, 7 for the week), and she is my top choice in terms of girls, by far, so I wanted give her a chance to fit into my week. Get that blocked out. Spinning plates means lots of options… but it also means you have very few spots for girls you like, or new girls that come along. The scheduling takes work. She was top priority.
For the second date, I had her come to my house, with the plan to take a drive across the bridge to one of my favorite places, where the food is simple, but special and delicious and I have great social proof there. The idea was to get her back to my place after for “cats and cheesecake.”
I picked this date because “quiet” is her thing. She has a quiet voice (unless she is talking about art/music, then she heats up). She doesn’t like loud places or people. The car ride would be quiet and beautiful. The restaurant is small and quiet, we could sit side by side. We did. I touched her a lot. She ate so slow… the owner closed up, and left us with the cleaning crew so we could finish on our own – he likes me.
I said this on my notes in the comments from the last date:
I am also doubling-down on “silence” when we’re together. It’s working awesome. She’ll comment… and I’ll just stare, and not saying anything. And she lights up. Or I’ll make a point, she’ll stare, and we’ll both go quiet for 2 minutes. She loves it.
As we drove back to the city, I said, “we have a decision to make… I can 1. Take you home, or 2. Bring you back to my place for desert.” She looked at me with her deep softness, and said, it was late… full of emotion and grace, like always.
As we drove to her apartment, we danced around the logistics for her and I.
She just finished her term at art school, and is going on a trip, including back to China for a few weeks. I am leaving for Japan for 5 weeks after the new year, while she is gone. I wanted more of her before we both split town.
I confirmed her plans to leave. Over dinner she told me that Saturday was actually an open night now (I don’t think she was hinting at me), so I brought that up, told her we don’t have much time until we both leave, and I wanted to see her on Saturday. She said, “I don’t know.” I said, “You know how offers work,” (which is callback to the pickup), and that if she wants that time, she should let me know. She stared.
I drove her to her place, parked out front of her building, and said “come here,” leaned over and kissed her. Small kiss, I almost assumed she was resisting… but she was not, just surprised. I kissed her again, also small, but she was taking it. One more time, slower, but still a simple, light kiss.
I leaned back and smiled. And she said, “Oh… my god.” A long pause, and then, “I didn’t think this would happen…” And she pulled her hand to her chest and her mind went “outer worldly” (credit: Yohami) again. She looked at me as I stared at her and said, “are you alright?,” and I said “I’m great,” and stared back at her with confidence. And her eyes got bigger and she smiled, and melted a bit, and climbed out.
I love this girl. What a spell she has on me.
The day after we texted a few niceties and then:
NASH: Do you remember my last offer?
HER: Yes lol
NASH: Okay, good. : ]
I left it there.
The week went by. She had a holiday party at her exboyfriends on Friday. Saturday AM I sent her a picture of my cats putting on the mornings “cute show.” (I sent that same pic/comment to four girls I’m dating).
HER: I like them!
NASH: If I didn’t have plans, I’d invite you over now
I did have plans… a date with Miss Sincere for lunch. So I went on:
NASH: Speaking of offers…
NASH: What if I told you I had a reservation for dinner tonight?
I like dinner with dates. I made that reservation early in the week, so I’d have it in case she was available. I could always cancel…
HER: I am glad to meet you tonight…
Did I play that right? It worked, but if I hadn’t contacted her, would she have spoken up? I don’t know. There is a fine line between chasing and leading.
She shows up, right on time… she was dropped off down the street a bit, and I could see her silhouette in the dark… that’s her. She is skinny-hot. Amazing body. Long legs and she moves in this uniquely charming way. Her dark hair tossing around as she moves.
She came in and met the cats… they were amazing. She was treating them like they are made of glass. I treat them like little brothers, toss them around, chase them, clap at them… they love it. They are close to dog-like, which is the only kind of cat I would want. They are great cats… and clearly great for comfort with the Asian girls.
I didn’t kiss her. I wanted to. I should have.
Dinner, was long, and slow, and charming. Great place. We had to sit across from each other, which became a topic of conversation as I kept saying I didn’t like the table as I couldn’t touch her and she would use that to tease me a bit. She would reach across the table and hold my hand. A couple times I stopped her, mid-sentence and told her I would kiss her right now if the table wasn’t there. She would go deep and dreamed-out each time. It was on.
I offered desert (cheesecake trap was set) and cats. She said, a bit reluctantly, “I like talking with you…,” dripping with emotion. I said “I have some non-caffeine tea” and she was a full yes and we left.
It was the coldest night of the year. My heat was on, but we were cold from the short trip from the car to my door. I sat her on the table, wrapped a blanket around her, and made us tea. We sat next to each other, feet on the bench seat, cats swirling around us, holding warm cups of tea, and I kissed her…
She almost collapsed. She was this unbelievably sexy version of helpless… something like that. She was moaning. Two more kisses and I said, “come on.”
I wrapped my arms around her, kept telling her “you’re alright,” as we slowly walked down the long hallway to my bedroom. I almost carried her. It was like she might faint.
I laid her down, and switched to a very physical, but kind of goofy vibe. She looked overwhelmed. Like she might break. I played with her, straddling her hips, pinching them between my thighs, and I rocked her back and forth, laughing at her, kissing her playfully, running my hands over her body, telling her we were going to have “highschool” sex and she laughed and started to relax.
She told me again, “you make me nervous.” I said, “good.” She smiled.
Meanwhile… my cold was kind of raging. I got thru dates the previous two days when I was worse (with girls I liked much less), but I was still pretty sick. It was the last day of the worst of it, but it was very hard to breathe. I noticed it was hard to get aggressive when you’re struggling for air. I told her so. But she was loving it. I was kissing her, touching her over/under her clothes, pulled up her shirt and sucked her hip bones. She was telling me she was “very excited.”
I didn’t think I was going to fuck her. I knew I “could,” but I felt terrible and I didn’t want to make it a chore. Some small part of me wanted the “notch,” but I knew I could have her at this point… if not now, maybe in the morning, or another day. She was closed.
At one point, I pulled her onto me, she was still fully clothed. I reached down, undid her pants, then reached around from behind and put my hand on her ass… or tried to. She has a lovely, but tiny little ass, very low-cut velvet pants, and I reached right past it, and found my hand in the most soaking panties I’d ever felt. She moaned as my fingers hit her wet spot. It was time to get busy, sick or not.
I took her clothes off, very slowly. She was exactly as I imagined… but better. Very small boobs, thin long limbs, hairless, except for her pussy — I loved that.
I love that many girls from Asia don’t shave their pussies. On an white girl, I’d want her well-trimmed at least, but on an almost hairless Asian girl, I think all that is sexy, just as it is. I really love it. I ate her pussy and played with her, fighting for air here/there because of the cold, but she loved it. Getting after her ass a bit as well.
I’ll stop here and say that I did pedestalize this girl. I even called myself out on my first post about her.
Yohami was asking why I didn’t try to isolate her on our first date… why I didn’t go more sexual… and the answer is, I was pedestalizing her. That is true. As if she was too “high end.” She is high-end, but of course that has nothing to do with sex drive. This girl was very ready. That’s why I went down on her, even though I didn’t think I was going to fuck her that night.
She decides to sleep over, and I shut off the lights in the house, and get naked and we sleep wrapped up together — me coughing uncomfortably from time to time.
But… it has long been true that my body “gets into it” as I actually sleep next to a girl. My mind shuts off, and my body can “think” clearly.
As we woke up briefly in the middle of the night, I was super hard, and I put her hand on my cock and put my hand between her long, milky legs. It was time. I knew this was going to happen. I teased her a bit more (and very nearly came, pre-come everywhere), got up, put on the world’s best condom, and slide inside her.
Wow. She is a very hot girl. Delicious.
I have been linking from this blog to this guy’s Tumblr porn… This guy “Paul” and similar Tumblr sites helped convert me to Chinese girls. I have always loved Japanese and Korean girls, but China was too “different” in some way. Not “Western” like Korea and Japan. But the girls in Paul’s photos, those bodies, taught me a real lust for Chinese women. This one.. The Siren… met all those expectations. She, is one of those girls, in terms of the perfect body.
To be with a girl of this quality — as I wandered the streets out hunting — has been a goal of mine, for months. Miss NYC is a racecar, but I didn’t fuck her. Firecracker is very close, delicious, but not quite the same quality. The Siren is exactly what I wanted.
As she went to the bathroom at one point, I encouraged her, telling her I wanted to see her walk across the room naked. Wow. And when she got back… I made her stop, in the cold room, on the hardwood floors, and do a 360 for me so I could see her top to bottom. 2-3 inch thigh gap between those legs, wonderful hourglass shape, translucent white skin, dark nipples, long black hair rolling off her shoulders, lips reddened from the kissing… a goddamn vision of Asian beauty.
We slept in. Cats waking us up, as they wanted their breakfast.
Last night at dinner she told me I am the first boy she has ever talked to on the street (she has had some bad experiences from other men). She also told me she is the first boy she has ever “texted first” (she is talking about how I told her via email to text me, and say “I’d love to” for our first date, which she did). I believe her.
She is the harp player. The film composer. I still feel something like “danger” around her. I’ve told her I can feel her magic. She makes me want to say “I love you,” even though I know that’s absurd. I felt that so much last night.
I offered to get us tea and bagels. Her face narrowed. She said she wasn’t expecting all this. That she had to go home, “think about it all.” She stoked my face, and slept a bit more.
Eventually, I said, “Okay… I want to be the man that pins your down, that kisses you, that fucks you… but I also want you to be free.” And she smiled and nodded. “Freedom” is one her trance words. I made her get up. I helped her dress and walked her downstairs.
It’s like a “dream,” she said. It has been “like a dream for me” since the first moment I laid eyes on her. Wow.
Fuck yes! plus a hundred.
“The Siren is exactly what I wanted.”
Very happy for you. Just couple comments:
“HER: Let’s meet tomorrow”
She’s absolutely ready. “Let’s” is alpha language. Like when she took you to the coffee. She’s leading you. In this context, she is going to fuck you. So Quiet + out of this world + Alpha, interesting combination. And she’s gonna fuck you for sure.
“Did I play that right? It worked, but if I hadn’t contacted her, would she have spoken up? I don’t know. ”
You played it right. In general you text too much, but that will settle down. You’re past the threshold. The “What if” sets the right frame most of the time, though in comparison with her ‘let’s’ puts you in the feminine spectrum and her in the masculine, she’s more frontally about this than you. Still generally it’s well played.
“I didn’t kiss her.. I wanted to. ”
Don’t hold back, do as you want. Just make sure you do in the proper frame (commanding / leading).
” I sat her on the table, wrapped a blanket around her, and made us tea. ”
Another beautiful movie scene.
Ok, there’s a little mindfuck that Im gonna show you:
“telling her we were going to have “highschool” sex”
She’s at your home because she’s going to have sex with you. She went to dinner tonight to have sex with you. Then specifics is something you have to make happen (puzzle), but she’s there for it.
So here when you tell her that you’re going to have sex with her you’re putting your mouth ahead of you. Speaking of it at this point shouldnt be a problem, except that you:
“I didn’t think I was going to fuck her.”
See what’s going on?
She’s been ready to fuck you – she’s even leading.
She’s at your place to have sex.
You’ve even went down in her pussy, she’s ready to stay the night, check this out: she cleared out her schedule to be able to stay at your place, she planned for this, like filipino who shaved for you. This girl is SO ahead of your game right now. You want to go step by step and dont know what things mean, while she’s already in lingerie making herself come and with a finger in your anus. This:
“I didn’t think I was going to fuck her.”
There’s something blocking or distorting your perception, get rid of it, you’ll gain a lot by doing so. Obviously is not preventing you from fucking this girl (bravo) but it’s there, dissolve it with a wash on reality.
“This girl was very ready. ”
Am I right and she has that streak of alpha? was she more active in sex?
“she told me I am the first boy she has ever talked to on the street ”
This is just a story. She’s playing a character and in this story you’re that special because you’re the one who got her, and she’s so special she would have never done this with anyone else. What’s interesting about is that almost every other girl will say the same story (except pros like skirting girl, who tell something closer to the truth, exaggerated in the opposite direction).
“I believe her.”
What you can take about her story is that she wants you to believe that about her, she wants that you feel you’re special, she wants that you feel that she will screen a guy a lot and only fuck really alpha guys and not losers. Still this is a girl who had sex on the third date with a guy who has a cold and she doesnt really know, and you could have had sex on the second date, or if you were really, mad good, even the first one (think thai girl you could have fucked) had you done the same things you did in a more condensed succession (because it’s not about physical time). So there.
I find it funny when going full player on a girl makes her open, then she says she’d never go out with a player. You know it only happened because of the compatibility of the souls. Except you picked her doing daygame and did most things any good player would do on her, and she reacted like any other girl would when she’s turned on by a guy like you or me.
At least she cares enough about you to want to save face.
Don’t let her own your sense or reality.
“She makes me want to say “I love you””
“I want to be the man that pins your down, that kisses you, that fucks you… but I also want you to be free.””
You dont want her to be free, you’re saying that because that’s what she told you. That’s what she said she wants. You’re preceding that with what you want “I want this” followed by “I want that you have that”.
By doing this you’ve just made a beta statement where you have a transactional relationship. This is beta to the core, which is bad in that it will bite you in the ass.
You don’t want her to be free, you want to own her. You don’t have to state it, I know it, you “feel love”, she knows it. A “real man” would do this, there are options:
1) Fuck her boundaries, you want her, she’s yours, double down and take her, fuck freedom
When done in masculine form she has no option but to say yes, because this is what she ultimately wants from a man.
2) Realize you don’t actually want her for real, and she’s saying “freedom”, so take her void words at face value and you be free yourself, not committing and fooling around, being free yourself.
This would inevitably become in her becoming so invested in you that she wants to change the rules and ditch freedom for a committed relationship.
In some cases the 2 road leads to you having threesomes with her and some other stuff. But this freedom thing is ridiculous. Women are hardwired to pin down a man, have his babies, serve him, get security.
Freedom is a card offered to betas as in “don’t try to hold me back, Im not your possession, Im still looking for higher quality seed, Im gonna be fucking men more attractive than you”.
In my last player room I wore the freedom card in my sleeve, talking about being free, and acting as a free man, which included hitting on other girls in front of girls I was fucking, girls knowing other girls I was fucking, fucking several girls in the same social groups, not caring (much) when the girls were out chasing other guys, being openly a player with a harem etc. My state of mind was that I was in a stable position because all the cards were on the table. The revelation was that all the girls, about 7 at that time, all turned out to be “in love” and wanted exclusivity, and started doing every drama plot in the book to pin me down, from tantrums to shit talking to whatever else. It was really something. Then I went back in my memories when it happened with other fuck buddies and paid attention outsite, how the free girl has always an agenda.
“I want to pin you down, I want that you are free”
Is a contradictory beta mind fuck in that you’re putting her spoken words on a pedestal and you want to take from her but want that she has what she say she wants even when it goes in contradiction to your desire. This will make you lose her for not being congruent, and will twist you inside. Again:
1) If you want her, take her
2) If you dont want to take her yet, be FREE YOURSELF
Fuck what she wants.
Instead of taking her words for it apply the same principle, see what she responds to. If she responds (turned on) to freedom, then do more of that. Then watch how well she reacts to you fucking other girls and having lot of space for yourself.
Freedom is delicious!.
Anyway, rant aside, Im happy for you.
Command and conquer bro.
*In my last player room – meant to say my player RUN. But my room was a fine place too.
“I moved her body to where I wanted it to go, and she stayed there until I moved her to the next position. ”
Alright, I was misreading it then. There’s only so much I can squeeze from written words.
“Alpha” is not masculine, but a social hierarchy position. Mothers are alphas to their kids, for example. The father just happens to be the alpha of the mother plus the one being male. In gendered relationships the ubber alpha will be a male, that’s how nature ruled things. But female groups have their alpha females, which are the girls who decide who, what, and when, and how.
There are obnoxious girls who want to out-alpha the man, so if you propose friday they will change the date just to be in control (when you find one of these, run).
With this girl, from what I read there’s something quietly frontal about her.
“I didnt reply your email”
“suggests going for a coffee” – changing your plan
“I’ll tell you about by boyfriend” – volunteering the framework so you can get her
“let’s meet on saturday” as a response to a more vague “what if I told you…”
So she’s not beta, she’s initiating things.
But then she keeps in the position you put her when you’re fucking her and doesnt move until you change it – she’s sounding like a great mix.
“Let’s” is alpha in that it assumes compliance.
“I want” can be alpha, but it can be needy too, depends on other things.
“Let’s hang out on friday” as a proposal assumes that it will happen
“I want to hang out on friday” see, this phrase is like waiting for a “…but”, it relies on the other person completing it “… let me know if you are available”
More alpha is to just assume the sale
“Friday, 10pm, I’ll pick you up”
Okay, yes. I see what you’re saying.
>> With this girl, from what I read there’s something quietly frontal about her.
I like that word, “frontal.” I can already hear myself saying that on street pickups. Great word, great distinction.
>> she’s sounding like a great mix.
Yeah. She is something.
>> “Let’s” is alpha in that it assumes compliance.
>> “Let’s hang out on friday” as a proposal assumes that it will happen
Okay… always think this sound like “sharing,” like asking for agreement.
>> “I want” can be alpha, but it can be needy too, depends on other things.
>> “I want to hang out on friday” see, this phrase is like waiting for a “…but”, it relies on the other person completing it “… let me know if you are available”
Okay… I see that.
>> More alpha is to just assume the sale
>> “Friday, 10pm, I’ll pick you up”
— 1. “This Friday, 8 PM, meet me at XYZ” is GREATER THAN…
— 2. “Let’s meet this Friday, at 8PM at XYZ” is GREATER THAN…
— 3. “I want to see you this Friday, at 8PM at XYZ”
Something like that?
I like the energy behind all that. I think there needs to be context to say 1… which I would set up by saying, “I want to see you… This Friday, 8PM, meet me at XYZ.”
“— 1. “This Friday, 8 PM, meet me at XYZ” is GREATER THAN…
— 2. “Let’s meet this Friday, at 8PM at XYZ” is GREATER THAN…
— 3. “I want to see you this Friday, at 8PM at XYZ””
Now it requires context, so it all depends. If this it out of the blue coming with the desire plus day and time is obnoxious and doesn’t breathe. If there’s been already some back and forth and just need to settle on day, all of them are fine, 3 being the weakest. but
“I want to see you”
Open ended is a great text.
“Im going to order mexican / watch a movie / wanna come / want some?”
Is a great text.
“hey let’s do X tomorrow”
Is a great text.
I sent a lot of “let’s” texts, or “Im doing X, wanna come / want some”, all well landed. Then in became minimal text
“come on over”
“ping me when you’re back, I’ll come over”
>> “Let’s” is alpha language. Like when she took you to the coffee. She’s leading you.
Hmmm, okay. I’m trying to be open to this.
In typical analysis of language, “Let’s” is feminine. It’s a way to soften a statement or command. It’s almost a question “Let us…” is close to “Can we?” It is much more common in girls than boys. Boys say, “I want” and girls say, “Let’s…” That’s a traditional gendered language pattern.
But yeah, she is leading in the context of making a suggestion. Certainly at the museum on the first date. And here… I don’t know.
In this context… I made the offer, I followed up, and she is selecting between offers (I’ll take Tues over Fri). But I am listening to you here.
I keep feeling a little resistant, as I associate “alpha” with “masculine.” I read her as deeply feminine. But the feminine can be alpha… maybe you’re right… or on to something here.
>> Am I right and she has that streak of alpha? was she more active in sex?
Not at all. She was very expressive, but completely pliant. I moved her body to where I wanted it to go, and she stayed there until I moved her to the next position. She didn’t touch my cock thru any of the foreplay… not until the “sleep” part.
She is also the type to say “Can I ask a question?” And “can I touch you?”
Her leadership may be alpha (particularly alpha as someone that knows she is “high quality” or alpha as “high self esteem”)…
Maybe we can say she is a type of “confident,” fully feminine confident. That could be alpha.
But I read her type of leadership as a type of grace. Real grace can make “suggestions,” that smooth a situation. I think she is great there. In both cases, I think she was using leadership (making suggestions) as a graceful way to participate.
>> “telling her we were going to have “highschool” sex”
>> She’s at your home because she’s going to have sex with you.
>> So here when you tell her that you’re going to have sex with her you’re putting your mouth ahead of you
First off… I know you are at least partially right about me “talking about it instead of doing it.” I am already coaching other guys, telling them your advice, even as I still “talk instead of do” on my own dates. I am starting to see how this is “beta.” (I know asking is beta, but I am starting to see how “saying” can be beta too).
I have been trying to use this as a way to communicate, but I am getting how it seems safe/good, but is really dumb/weak… at least some of the time.
With that said… I knew I could have sex with her. I wasn’t being safe. The emphasis here was “high school,” not the sex. I said I was afraid she might “break.” So this was a way to get her to settle down so she didn’t faint. I was softening things… not for me, but for her.
With that said… I don’t think I needed to do that. I think, in retrospect, she was fine… she can handle being that “overloaded.” I would have been better to let her stay there, keep that going.
Hmmm. I’m learning.
Im sure she loved the overload.
>> Im sure she loved the overload.
I see it now. Of course she did. What a great experience for her.
>> “I want to be the man that pins your down, that kisses you, that fucks you… but I also want you to be free.””
>> Hard stop.
I thought this was “badass,” and I was showing leadership. Part of the context was that she kept saying she had to go, over and over, but wasn’t going. I was happy to have tea and spend the morning with her… but didn’t want us to be stagnant.
I can see that stagnant as being a place I have seen in past LTRs. It’s gross. It’s small. It’s a lack of leadership. I want to banish that from my kingdom. That was part of my motivation here. I will not lay around all day with no direction… fuck that.
I wanted to lead. So I took her “wish” and made it happen. I made the decision. I made her get up. I made her dress. I gave her little commands that moved us fwd. I liked all that. I still do.
>> You dont want her to be free, you’re saying that because that’s what she told you
Yes. You are exactly right. And I see some of what you’re saying here. I was being a beta by “sharing” what we would do next. Some of what I want, and some of what she wants. I think I see some of what you’re saying.
>> You don’t want her to be free, you want to own her. You don’t have to state it, I know it, you “feel love”, she knows it
In general, I don’t carry the “own her” frame around with me. That’s not my vibe, not exactly. That’s not how I feel about women. I want them to be compliant, yes. I want to be so powerful, they do what I want. But I see that as different to ownership.
SIDE NOTE: https://thealphateacher.wordpress.com/
^ This guy “owns” her, in a good way, in the way you mean. Yohami, if you don’t already know this guy, I think you might appreciate him. Krauser mentioned him and I read a few posts… he’s awesome. I think you/he would have some common ground.
I still hear what you’re saying. I would like to “own her” to the extent that I get what I want… even if that is a little softer than “own her.”
This could all be “less than alpha” of me… but alphaness, for alpha sake, is not my goal. However, I want mastery with women, and I know alpha is a requirement. I am trying to grow into that as well.
>> A “real man” would do this, there are options:
>> 1) Fuck her boundaries, you want her, she’s yours, double down and take her, fuck freedom
>> When done in masculine form she has no option but to say yes, because this is what she ultimately wants from a man.
>> 2) Realize you don’t actually want her for real, and she’s saying “freedom”, so take her void words at face value and you be free yourself, not committing and fooling around, being free yourself.
This is very interesting. I need to think about this more. 1… I get. 2… is more subtle. I’ll think on it.
>> “I want to pin you down, I want that you are free”
I see the contradiction. I didn’t mean it literally. I meant all the “I want” part. That I could make all that happen.
You’re right that I was saying that, thinking “free” because she said it.
I am also thinking of another part of that book I sent you, where the authors talk about how men try to control women, and that causing the woman to fuck with the seduction.
The difference for me is… I can “own her,” without ever trying to control her. I really own her, when she enforces that ownership herself. When I do it, I don’t own her, I have just caged her. It’s force, not “love” on her part. Real “own her soul” stuff, is her wanting to be owned, or enforcing my ownership for me. “I am yours” is more powerful than “You are mine.”
But I think this was a good lesson. I could clean up here too.
When you tell her “reply saying that you’d love to”
Are you telling her what to do, or letting her decide? :-)
Women want to be in chains. That’s their freedom. Don’t ask me why. Or ask me, but my response isnt as good as theirs. They want the place under a powerful man. They want to feel that power. Part of that power expresses itself by robbing them their freedom. It’s like belonging to a tribe – belonging is also submitting to the law of the tribe. Breaking the law means being expelled. Breaking the law of the alpha means losing him. And laws are to be enforced. There’s a lot of circular stuff there.
So when she says ‘never’ and you reply “never means friday” you’re saying “fuck what you want, this is what I want and we’re doing it”
The line in the sand is not about freedom and power but about alpha and beta.
The beta is trying to impose laws on a woman that would rather run away, he’s a prison, because otherwise he couldn’t get her.
While the alpha is a castle and the woman is desperately trying to get under it’s protection.
” I was being a beta by “sharing” what we would do next. Some of what I want, and some of what she wants. ”
The beta is in the desire to give her what she wants, in exchange for what you want.
Then it gets more beta in that the two are contradictory.
But beta is not an insult – it’s just a framework. Almost every man was raised into it.
This is the “give her compliments / flowers / do nice things for her / so she likes you”.
While the alpha, or the “high value man”, or “cool guy” framework is, “she already likes me, will she be able to make me commit? dont think so, but this is fun”
In what you’re doing when fucking – doubling down when she responds, following the moan, etc, all of that is not “I’ll give you what you want so you give me what I want”, but “I behave like an alpha man you surrender to” and “here’s my value, open your legs and get it”. There’s no external value giving you value, she’s not into you because you’re giving her something else, what you’re giving her is yourself.
Beta doesnt have self value so it needs to bring additional stuff. Props, tricks, gifts, to inflate the price (which makes the man’s value go even lower).
So she likes you already, for you. No need to try to secure her with transactional relationships.
I’ll check that link, there’s always something new to learn.
Wow, dude. So much here… again.
I will say… it is an interesting experience to put this much detail about myself out there, and have you “critique” it. It’s hard. It’s crazy vulnerable. I think it’s really, really good for me. I want to really learn.
And again, it gives you a specific context to show your experience/theory. The “Yohami Critique” is much better than a “theory” or “how to.” You can talk about “the good” and “the bad.”
If we were reading a “good” field report of your own, we’d have the good to learn from. But here you have “the bad” to correct, which allows for some of your thoughts that wouldn’t come out if you just wrote a field report of one of your own seductions.
My view, as a student in this process, is remarkable.
Yeah man – just know you’re doing great, and it’s inspiring to see you succeed. I don’t mean to be hard on you, Im just an asshole with no filter :-)
I have utter respect for you and what you’re doing here.
>> I don’t mean to be hard on you, Im just an asshole with no filter :-)
We are on the same page… I said all that to be “real,” in the spirit of our friend Riv… and how he says what he is doing AND how he “feels” about what he is doing. I love that about Riv… that is part of Riv’s gift.
I don’t want you to be filtered… I want the TRUTH, unfiltered, straight from the source.
Keep going, man. Here (thank you!), and elsewhere. You have uncommon gifts to offer.
>> “I didn’t think I was going to fuck her.”
>> There’s something blocking or distorting your perception, get rid of it
You’re right. I still have some “hangup” in this area. I am getting better, but it’s still there. It’s a lack of entitlement. It’s smallness. It’s “madonna/whore.” It’s a lack of experience/confidence. I’m not “bad,” but I have some growing up to do. This process is helping me grow up.
In a small way, I know I’m getting better in this area… as I’m more/more comfortable walking around naked. Like the next day, in the light of day, “letting myself hang out.” Part of that is me getting more confident. Not “better” (I’m getting older), but more “solid.” Less shame. I don’t have big issues with shame at all… but I bet some of that is traces of shame… of “blue pill” at the very least.
>> you’ll gain a lot by doing so
Yes to this. I will see a huge uptick in results when more of this is cleaned out. We’ll see.
YEAH YEAH YEAH
“2-3 inch thigh gap between those legs, wonderful hourglass shape, translucent white skin, dark nipples, long black hair rolling off her shoulders, lips reddened from the kissing… a goddamn vision of Asian beauty.”
oh yeah baby, this is why we hit the streets!