SH: Mercenary Sex in Shanghai, +1 Nightgame
I am a daygamer. Committed. I almost never even try to score via nightgame. And I wasn’t trying this time either. I was tired. I was looking to have a beer and write a bit. But I could see the potential of the set-up in my first minute in the bar. And after we finished our drinks… I took her home and fucked her. Why? Because I could.
When I woke up I was amused… but also a little disgusted.
She wasn’t cute. That’s what I am trying to say.
NASH: Had sex with a not-so-hot girl from Hong Kong
NASH: We’ll call her a low 6
NASH: Nightgame… which was not my intention
NASH: But there you have it
I sent this ^ to Runner the next morning.
It was a weird night. That next morning I did what I often do in a situation like that… I checked the trash can to see if the condom was where I left it. It was. Yes. It really happened.
When I arrived I took a quick look around the lounge, and then went straight to the bar. I was standing, squeezed between the high seats of the bar itself, trying to get some attention from the bartenders. The service was slow, and that gave me a lot of time to notice her. And for her to notice me.
She was a year or three over 30. Not hideous, but certainly not beautiful. And not even what I could call cute.
“Cute” can be earned, even on a very “low-average” girl, if she is at all charming or girly. This girl was posting a low showing in all of those categories. She was dressed comfortable and her style was in the range of “cool.” And her hair was nice enough. I couldn’t see that much of her body as she sat on her bar stool. And while I could see the potential of creating some attraction in her, I dismissed that idea right away.
I like Asian girls. But not ALL Asian girls.
But as I waited at the bar (and finally got my order in) she had turned her body to open herself up to me. And she was smiling. And I instinctively gave her a confident “hi” when she looked at me. And she took that as an opening and started asking me questions while she fondled her freshly mixed margarita… and complained about the salt.
As I mentioned in the comments I made to Runner, she is from Hong Kong. She was in Shanghai for business, and comes here about once or twice per month. She was very “Western”… which isn’t the part of Asian girls I find attractive.
The only parts of this “seduction” (if you can call it that) that I appreciate are the technical aspects.
I see it now as I saw it then… as an exercise in the analysis and execution of an opportunity. And a test of how a man might handle the logistics of a situation like this one (he wanted to). I rarely claim that sex for a man is “easy,” but this certainly wasn’t hard. It was an “easy puzzle” to solve… assuming a man has experience solving puzzles. That’s how I looked at it.
She… is a somewhat jaded “business girl.” Typical single “working girl” that bought the standard “go girl” life plan. She is right at “the wall” in the SMP, and her SMV is falling precipitously. And while she was buzzed and smiling, and pleasant at some level, she would steer the conversation toward criticism at each turn.
As I write this, that emphasis on the negative, the cynicism… that might be the hallmark trait of current trends in Western Girl psychology. Even for girls born and raised in Asia… with enough exposure to the “rot of the West,” the can exhibit these unattractive qualities.
(SIDE NOTE: My wing Sundance and I spend a lot of time talking about how (at least for us) daygame doesn’t get us laid with local girls in our city back at home. And mostly not with Western girls. And this could be part of why that seems to be true: When a Western girl feels out your approach… she can only see it through “mud colored” glasses. She sees the negative aspects, not the upside. It’s the culture. The “battle of the sexes.” The surface hostility. The innate skepticism toward what has otherwise been a timeless and cooperative dance between men and women. Maybe… maybe all that is true.)
“When she looks at a doughnut, all she can see is the hole.”
— My buddy Natural (about an ex-girlfriend of his)
That ^ is a good line. And it applies well to this girl.
The first bit of game with Miss HK Business was controlling the conversation. Each time she would start down some vaguely negative train of thought I would cut her off, and put us back on a path that would be more enjoyable for both of us.
EX: She would find some reason to hate the food in Shanghai. Complain, complain. I knew better. I had only been here four days at this point, and with limited local knowledge I was already eating well. I would point out several cool places where I had had a delicious meal. And before she could build toward an argument, I would take over the frame… and say that the reason she didn’t like the food is that she didn’t have a cool guy to show her where the good spots where.
That ^ kind of twist would make her smile. She wasn’t “cute,” not even then… but I was bringing out a better side of her (a side I could enjoy). This is the kind of “date orchestration” I have learned from wrangling so many random girls over the last few years.
In general, I ran a pretty good blend of competent confidence and arrogant cockiness. That is a good mix for attraction. And she was liking it.
And I have been on enough dates to know how to steer things toward an intimate, sexual vibe. I did that above when I could turn a complaint about food to an image of “being with a cool guy.” I put that suggestion in her head. And once I was there, there was no room to complain (at least for a few seconds) and she was having a better time. So was I.
In this case, since I knew she was a “career girl,” and travelled a lot, and I have dated girls like Miss Lips that also move from city to city often, I assumed she either a.) had a LOT of sexual stories from her travels, and/or b.) had a hard time having a stable, committed boyfriend back at home. In retrospect, I think I was right about both.
As she was making some other negative comment about travelling, I cut her off again:
NASH: Yeah, yeah, yeah… hold on
NASH: So you travel a lot?
NASH: Does that mean you’re really good at finding connection wherever you are?
NASH: Or that it’s hard to have stable relationships when you’re at home?
It was an easy cold read. I could tell by the change in her face that I had effectively got her off her own script. And… I had moved the conversation from “complaining about travel” into a discussion of mating and dating… a much better frame.
She was a couple of drinks in before I sat down, and I was dead sober at the start of all this. I had ordered a beer and shot, but she was well ahead of me. And each time I successful controlled the interaction, her face would show me I had scored a point in the rapidly slurring tally in her head.
I was winning. Girls want someone that is “better than them” (credit: Patrice O’Neal). And she was “losing control.” Because of the alcohol, yes. But also because a man was dominating her. And she was liking it. And I knew she would. Girls can relax when they’re not in charge. That is the whole point of a “better man.” And why modern “in charge” girls are so uptight so much of the time.
Another part of this scene that I liked was having a participant’s eye-view of how “disinterest” works in action.
I am hyper critical of wannabe “Dark Triad” guys that think they can use disinterest as a STRATEGY to get laid. You cannot throw disinterest at a girl and create attraction. That’s not how it the mechanism works. That is the POV of “keyboard jockey” guys that often have little experience… or guys that DO know success… but are so “natural” they can’t analyze their own actions.
Disinterest (like many of the non-romantic techniques in game) “works” because it is a SIDE EFFECT of something else. It’s like momentum, rather than the initial SOURCE of a sexual thrust. It is fuel, not fire. In this case, she was attracted to me. And I could lead well. That was the foundational VALUE that made my dismissiveness work with her.
This whole case study is out of character for me… I don’t try to run this kind of game. Which is again, why it worked. My disinterest was not a strategy to “get the girl.” I was actually disinterested. Because I can do better. And I know it. And she knew that I knew it. That… is why it “worked.” Side effect.
I have tried to game girls before that I didn’t like that much… but it’s rare. That is not what I am in game for… to “bang sluts I don’t like.” I don’t do much of that, and for a man like me, that would be an unfulfilling way to spend my time. I want to be romantic with charming, feminine, “nice girls.” This case was a rare exercise in something different. And it gave me a chance to run game from a POV I rarely occupy.
As I stepped on her frame over and over… she leaned in. She is plenty smart, and likely successful, but it is my view that “success” is not what guys really want in a woman. And she is not “in demand.” So she likely has moderately low self-esteem when it comes to dating and sex (at this point in her life, at least)… as the SMP sends her signals that she isn’t really the “buyer” as much as she used to be. She is getting “one down” signals from the marketplace at this stage of her life. And I think girls like her respond better to this flavor of game.
Again… not my usual style.
Even if this worked well on the darling, wonderful girls I like to spend my time with… there is more than one way to seduce a pussy cat. And I would rather specialize in what I call Octopus Game (a more romantic path to getting my tentacles up a girls skirt). There is still push/pull in my game, but less “darkness.” I want to specialize in game that is more “win/win.”
Anyway… at some point, I moved on to the next stage of the night’s mission… I push my work bag out of the way, and changed seats so we were side by side. I was asking her about exercise, and she is a bit of gym girl, so she was happy to talk about working out. So I used a pretense of “feeling her arm” to reach in and start touching her. And she took it well. Not sweet or demure, but highly complaint. And I did my usually trick of flexing my bicep and making her feel it as a bit of a sexual spike. And that worked too. (That is a surprisingly effective spike.).
If one of you guys were watching from one of the nearby tables… it would have been very obvious what was going down. (Particularly when I switched seats). It was conspicuously obvious to me.
I walked into this bar at 11 PM. It closed at midnight. I had finished my whiskey and was almost done with my beer… and she had half of that salty margarita left. She got up to go to the bathroom. When she came back, I was paying my tab. She gulped down the rest of that drink. She probably didn’t need it
I said, “Let’s go.” And she followed.
I am not claiming any great game here. This was “paint by numbers” seduction. But getting her alone was the next phase… the logistics of getting her isolated. An opportunity to practice more direct leadership.
About ten minutes earlier I had used the bathroom as well. And on the way back, I asked myself if I wanted to fuck this girl. And I was not at all excited about it, but I felt I could. I was aiming to kiss her (at very least), for the ego boost… and to pad the details of my trip with another story.
We walked into the elevator together, and as the doors closed behind us we were alone. I said, “c’mere.” I stepped in with the intent to kiss her. And she rejected me… but there was no conviction in her rebuke.
As we hit the sidewalk, I teased her about not kissing me, and I told her I was sure she was ready, and I went in again. She was saying “no,” but she put her arms around my neck… and one minute later the kiss landed.
Kissing her wasn’t bad, actually. Big lips. And a wet juicy mouth. That might have been the best part of the whole night.
She was staying at a hotel about a three minute walk from where the bar was located. And my place was about 15 minutes further away by foot. We walked that direction.
She was swaying a bit from the alcohol. I kissed her again. She was in no hurry, enjoying herself. She invited me to her hotel. I was committed to trying to fuck her at this point.
I had my work bag with me. And I ALWAYS keep condoms in it… but I had taken them out to fuck Smart Girl last week before I left on this trip… and never put them back. And I was embarrassed with myself for not being prepared the one time I could have used them. On this particular night… I wasn’t planning to fuck. But being ill-prepared could have cost me the lay (even if this was purely sport on my part).
But I had some at my house, which was a few minutes away. I told her she was coming to my place. She lingered as we passed her hotel… and she complained the whole way to my apartment… but she kept walking… and laughing. And holding my hand. I was leading and she was having a good time.
As we made it to my place… she was impressed. As I said in my last post, I had changed apartments and this was my second (“new and improved”) place in Shanghai. I was glad to see the approval on her face… not so much for her, but as an indication as to how other girls might like my Shanghai lair.
No pretense… straight to the bedroom. I peeled her clothes off… and she was even less attractive naked than fully clothed. I don’t think I have ever said that about a girl before. Not terrible, but not impressive either. And her lack of cuteness robbed me of any chance of enjoying her for purely feminine reasons. If there was anything notable about her at this point it was her rather huge nipples… like small brown mushrooms. I have never seen nipples that big before.
But she was into it. No… I didn’t go down on her. I kissed her. She was a mix of irritable and eager, trying to get me to hurry up and fuck her. I sucked those big mushrooms for a bit and she was trying to get my cock inside her… even though I wasn’t hard, and didn’t have a condom on (yet).
I brushed her hands away from me. I lifted myself off the bed… I took one of the world’s best condoms from out of the closet across the room… got myself hard… and…
Fucked her for a bit, and then came all over her tits. Grotty. And unsatisfying. But as Runner said after I message him the next morning:
RUNNER: Still counts!
Yes it does. If a guy has fucked a lot of girls, he probably has some stories like this. And if he’s a nightgame guy… probably several.
And then… she very much wanted to pass out in my bed. And… unlike any story on this blog… I didn’t want that at all.
As I wrote this, I remembered a similar story from Rivelino. I asked him for a quote and he sent me this:
“I was inside her, banging her — her pussy was tight and wet — but I hadn’t even come yet, and I was already brainstorming ways to kick her out of my apt!”
— Rivelino (“was it worth it?”)
Yeah. It was basically like that
I told Miss HK Business that I had an early meeting (which I did), and she couldn’t stay. She was still drunk, and was acting like a little kid, trying to be “so sleepy” I couldn’t get her out of my place.
But I kept prodding her. And she got up and casually rinsed my spunk off her chest in the shower. And I stuffed her back in her clothes and walked her back to her place.
She was pretty happy, actually. Despite being drunk and tired, she seemed to like the walk home better than the walk to my place. She stopped to smile at me, and kiss me, a few times. She laughed at my stories.
At the time, it seemed as if in those few sloppy moments in my apartment, I had fucked all the cynicism out of this girl. And what was left was maybe the cutest part of her I saw all night. It was pretty bad sex, but maybe it had scratched some kind of basic itch for her.
It was kind of fun to wave to the people at the front desk of her hotel on the way up to her room. But once I had her inside, she was looking more messy and exhausted. It was 1 AM. She was complaining of a headache. I got her back out of her clothes. I made her drink some water. She asked me to stay. It was a request, but she wasn’t needy. I tucked her in. I stayed with her for a minute or two… kissed her “low six” forehead. I shut off the lights.. and I left.
I gave the desk crew a thumbs up on my way out. It was my version of a “victory lap” for winning a race nobody wanted to watch.
I was amused and vaguely proud. I had run through this hook-up like a man who knew what he was doing. Because I do know what I am doing. And I didn’t like the girl much at all, but I got her home safely. And I showed some care for her. If she remembered any of that the next morning, that might have made a difference to her. In any case, it made a difference to me… the man I want to be takes care of the girls in his life.
It was about 1:30 AM as I left her hotel room. I was home by 1:45. From the first moment I walked into the bar to when I was home, alone, ready to wash the events of the night off of me (and any remnants of her off my cock), less than three hours had elapsed.
Grotty… but efficient.
This was mercenary sex. I didn’t do it for love. Or for country. I did it for the notch. And to watch the mechanics of seduction run once more. It was seedy, but it was another step toward mastery. And seeing more of the full spectrum of human sexual relations.
And I fucked her to tell this story. I fucked her… so you wouldn’t have to. I did it all for you.
Did I message her the next day? Would I fuck her again this trip if she was in town… if nothing else works out for me… if I was horny enough??
Nope. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to (which I don’t). I never took her contact info. And I never asked her name. And she never asked me for mine. It was that kind of thing.
This is not the type of post you should expect on this blog. It’s not my style. And she’s not the kind of girl with which I want to spend my time.
But… in filthy kind of way… it was a good experience. And my first notch of the trip.
This reminds me of a couple Shanghai ONS, and why I don’t do them anymore.
One was a rich girl (I realized, that when she left, she owned a Mazerati), another was a normal girl that works and studies a lot. The sex was good in and of itself, but I knew I wasn’t going to be sexually interested afterward.
A different girl had stayed over the night, sex was ok but I just knew it was only going to be once, and when I woke up all I could think of was how much I wanted her to leave… I really hated that feeling.
Beautiful, grotty, sad story. I loved it.
Yeah. Thanks, Riv.
It was really “gross” the next morning. But then, I worked out. And it was more interesting, even amusing here/there.
I want experience. This was experience.
“At the time, it seemed as if in those few sloppy moments in my apartment, I had fucked all the cynicism out of this girl. And what was left was maybe the cutest part of her I saw all night. It was pretty bad sex, but maybe it had scratched some kind of basic itch for her.”
You were so high-value to her, that she felt validated as a woman. That’s sweet and nice, in a way. You made her feel special.
Hmmm, I like this comment.
I think I handled her like a “high value” man. I think I am a high value man, everything she saw was from a world of high value (so she had some proof), and I gave her the experience of being lead by a man with experience.
If she was young… that could be a very experience on it’s own. To see that.
If she is older, and misses that, again… maybe it was like when I get on a skateboard these day… reminds me of the good ole’ days. Reminds me of my youth. Feels very good.
But if I switch hats… and think “was this good for her?” I don’t think so. It was a pump and dump. In part, as she is a traveler, and so am I. But mostly… because I was not trying to connect with her.
She shouldn’t fuck guys that don’t ask her her name. How’s that for a minimal standard.
Other men don’t need to focus on “connection” in sex/dating, but I DO focus on that. That is ON with Smart Girl right now. It was very ON with Miss Thick (endlessly on). It was ON with Siren. I have a new story coming up… connection was very deep.
Maybe this girl never connects? But I know what that means. And I didn’t do that for her. And that is the “sad” part of this. Not so much for me… I am interested in the case study, either way. But for her.
I wish for all girls that they are with men that fuck them with CONNECTION. I don’t think all girls necessarily want that… some would reject it (or be incapable of it). But I think that is HEALTHY SEX for girls.
Nasty, dirty, “face fuck her,” all that… but with connection.
Connection is what keeps her away from the “thousand cock stare.”
” “was this good for her?” I don’t think so. It was a pump and dump.”
it wasn’t good for her in the sense that she wasn’t protecting her value, and for most women, quick sex repeatedly over time makes her start to feel like a slut — since that was she has become — buuuuut, i mean it was a nice feeling for that night?
now i’m getting depressed haha
You’re at the stage where marginal notches no longer interest you: https://theredquest.wordpress.com/2018/04/12/turning-down-marginal-notches. That’s a sign of growth, age, or both.
Uhhh… I won’t say that I am quite that “grown up” yet. I still want notches… more for the experience than the bragging/ego (although, still some of that too).
What I wrote above with Riv is where I am at on this one… and I figured it out as I typed it there.
I want to fuck with connection. Not “BF/GF” stuff. Not monogamy. Not Disney. It is okay with me if I never see her again (although, that makes connection much harder to do/find), but…
I want to fuck with MEANING. Even short term “meaning.” I want to fuck with interpersonal emotion.
Dirty (or not)… but definitely “deep.” Emotionally rich sex. That is what I am after.
I want to fuck her open to God (from David Deida). I know what that is like. I did that with another girl very recently. I did that with Smart Girl before I left.
That is the potential. I can lead girls there… some girls.
This didn’t really have that potential… because I didn’t like her enough to go there with her. I will likely give up some notches when there are this level… I don’t need to do a lot of this.
I like that comment, and I hope not just because it echoes my own aims. I can see you trying to know what you really want, and laying it out there for all to see, and then going after it. And then later you rinse and repeat.
Not keyboard jockying at all, and more than that, not random wandering. You are creating your world through not only stumbling into a lense, but deciding what lense you want to use with which to create your world.
For me I try to avoid things that just might pollute my lense. That’s not something everyone believes is possible, but I do believe people can get damaged. We all do get and are damaged, I have to think. And if your aims are for connection and meaning, it’s good to play around with what might damage that possibility in your future, so you can decide if it’s worth avoiding.
“For me I try to avoid things that just might pollute my lense”
Smart. I may be doing that somewhat right now. I can’t entirely tell.
Curious as to the bar and restaurant expenses there as compared to downtown where we game?
About the same as home… maybe a little better. AirBnB is cheap compared to home. But I hear home prices here are crazy high as well.
But food/drink… about the same. $7 IPAs. $3 Asian beers. I can spent $14 on lunch, for sure. But I had a good, simple Ramen dinner, with an appetizer, and a beer for $15 as well. $40 for lunch for me and a girl at a reasonably nice place.
This isn’t a “cheap” place. Lots of high quality.
been following your blog lately, interesting read for beginners like me. Looking forward to more stories from Shanghai. Good luck
Thanks, #. I have another story coming in the next day/so. And hopefully this trip will fuel several more.
For NOW, an update just for you:
— I’ve done 12 approaches today
— Took 2 numbers…
— That isn’t a great ratio, but it’s been a fun day
— Last number was a Taiwanese art teacher…
— INTERESTING: She ^ touched me all on her own in the set (rare)
— I just took a break… (it’s 7:30 PM in Shanghai)
— I’m going to clean up, have dinner in a new neighborhood
— And then do some “night time daygame” (not quite “gutter game”)
— I might ping a lead latter… a 19 yr I dated yesterday… see if she wants to see me later
I had an invite to run nightgame tonight with a cool guy I met on Roosh’s forum. But I would rather try this “night time daygame.” And then be sober/solid for another day of daygame tomorrow.
Viva daygame. And happy hunting.
Nash, it’s about only you, and Tddaygame, and ‘The guy whose name must not be mentioned’ that looks out for beginners in this way.
I much appreciate that.
Awesome story, Nash.
Not sure if it’s the story, or you have tweaked your writing style a bit, but this post was such a flowing one to read. Painted really clear pictures. At a point, i forgot about gleaning Game tips from ya to just enjoying the story (typos aside)
“Emotionally rich sex. That is what I am after.” -Nash
Cantonese women are whiners, complainers and extremely toxic. Lots of BPD types due to abusive mothers and they hate anyone more dominant than them so they either become man hating lesbians or get the most beta of the beta guys that they turn into their bitch slave.
The only DHV to them is money / upper class status related which isn’t the value I bring. (I’m the fun party guy)
I personally disengage at any sign of negativity. I’m a positive guy and I ain’t got no time for toxic people…
All of them? Is it something in the water?
I don’t know, man… I don’t think geography drives personality. Everywhere I go, I see a mix… unless I’m in very particular environments that would aggregate a certain type. And daygame is not like that.
I have dated some nice Catonese girls… which is also not saying much.
I wouldn’t assume anything about a girl based on where she is from, other than I might like that PHYSICAL TYPE. What a given girl is wearing is already a better start. Intro/extravert is a much better indicator. Etc.
Demographics are weak indicators. Behavioral/psychographics are much more telling.