Six Dates with Missy Happy, +1 | A Lay Report
This is a lay report. But the “notch” itself isn’t the part I like about this story. I’ll lead with the fact that she and I had sex on the first date. I’ll talk about that briefly. But the rest of this post aspires to share all the little details of this girl over all the many dates since that first night in my bed.
Like this ^, but with hair past her shoulders.
She was the first girl I talked to this year. My very first approach. And my first approach of the year in my new home city in Japan. I have been through periods where I have worked very hard and had almost nothing to show for it. This year, I have barely worked at all and arrived at a rich relationship with this girl straight away.
It’s like the old song says, “sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick.”
I was out on a proper session (one of very few this year) when I made contact with her via a rather typical daygame approach. She was coming down into the underground area near the train station, bouncing along, light on her feet, and with an absolutely magnetic smile on her face. Its was the kind of smile a girl will have when she is on the phone with someone she loves (but that wasn’t the case this time). Or when she is listening to music that really lights her up (but that wasn’t it either).
She had just come from some time with her girlfriends. The social buzz of being with them was part of it. But this girl is almost always deep in a smile. That’s why we’ll call her Miss Happy.
That is how I opened her. “Hello. You have such a great smile… I want to meet you.”
“And that is what guys want. They want to go back to that speaking plain truth: ‘You’re beautiful. I just want to say that.'”
— Zan
This style is not for everyone. But it is increasingly clear that this is the style for me. The set hooked.
This all took place in Japan, but she is Chinese… I have dated several Chinese girls in Japan (they stand out to me here). She is the third of several Chinese girls I have had sex with via daygame here in this country alone.
She is 28, working here in Japan for an international company. She has been here three months. Once again daygame “works” on a foreign girl (as opposed to a native).
Along with that sunny smile, she wore a long pink coat over her dress, with combat boots that helped accent her style. We talked about the contrast on the stop. I said she was feminine, but the boots show “a different side of her.” Maybe she had “many sides,” she teased.
We talked about the pickup itself in set (I sometimes do that). We talked about what girls can sometimes feel when interesting men approach them in public and begin a conversation. We talked about the role of comfort. I love these topics. It was a fun set. I took her number.
I messaged her the next day and she messaged back with enthusiasm.
“The is no single piece of information from which to judge your odds of banging a girl that is more informative than her very first reply to your feeler text.”
— Krauser, from Daygame Infinite
This is a great line and very true.
I hit her up with my usual opening text of something like “are you always so friendly,” and she came back with several messages in a row. The last part of her response was (with a her lovely Chinese accent coming through over text):
MISS HAPPY: I’m a bit love your eyes
Well, well. That (combined with her other responses to my opener) was enough to qualify as a notably warm “wall of text.” It felt very “on.” And it was.
I moved straight to asking her out. And she was excited about the idea. I set up a plan for dinner. She accepted.
MISS HAPPY: I look forward to having dinner with you
MISS HAPPY: And to be frankly, I feel comfortable to be with you
Very positive indeed. And (as you’ll see), the theme of comfort runs throughout this story. And while I did like the comment, and thought it boded well for the date, it was an unusual thing for a girl to say so early in a seduction.
Hmmmmm.
Anyway…. I had her meet me downtown at a coffee place. She showed up in that same soft-pink coat that reminds me of strawberry ice cream. She was (once again) all smiles. We had coffee and chatted for a while. What a lovely girl. Sweet, blushingly feminine, very compliant, but smart enough to be fluent in three languages and to be recruited by a serious company for work. She was (and is) a joy to be with. She is a fantastic girl.
I asked if she was hungry and ready for dinner. Yes. We walked a few blocks through the cold… to a brick-oven pizza place that is less than two minutes from my apartment here. We sat at the bar and watched the cook rotate our pizza against the heat from the wood in the fire. She barely ate. She was attentive and charming, following my lead. We built the love bubble as we sat side by side – and I touched her constantly.
When I look at the notes I took from just after that date… I had to actually slow us down. The date was almost too intense. Kind of “past ‘yes'” from the very beginning.
After dinner, being just two minutes from my door, I said, “Do you want to meet my cats?”
This would be the first time I have had my little beasts with me in Japan as I brought a girl back to my place. She was excited about the idea. A minute later we were out in the cold night on our way to my house.
And inside… the cats swirling around… checking her out.
It’s a relatively small place, so not much of a tour. Just like at home, I led her to the kitchen, standing up, her back to the sink. And just like at home, I took that as ideal circumstances to step in for the kiss.
She was slow as I moved into her space. Her animation and happiness disappeared and she was serious. I didn’t stab into her mouth… I hovered over her lips. And touched her. And took my time. At this stage it was more about tension than eagerness. I did what I sometimes do and I pried her lips apart with my mouth and gave her a real kiss. She was quiet now. And a bit serious. But good with it.
My plan was to fuck her later. As in… some other night.
I liked her. I love sex. I would have gladly fucked her. But it was going super fast, and she clearly liked me, and I felt I could take my time (if I wanted to).
I had just written two posts about Mystery’s Seven Hour Rule. About how Mystery thinks men should give it some time to really “set in,” that we should not “rush it,” that we should play “solid game.” Some girls are ready right away, and this all depends on the girl, but in general I am convinced Mystery is right. And I have hit a lot of my goals for raw lay count… I have nothing to prove to myself about how fast I can get a girl’s panties off.
So… my plan was to just get her warmed up on this date. Get to know her. Build comfort. Increase tension and turn her on. Fuck her on the next date (perhaps). But that’s not how it went.
After kissing her a bit she was getting heated up so I dragged her over to my bed.
My apartment was only part-way set up at this point. I had a mattress on the floor, a rug, a cheap lamp from Ikea and a few plants. That was it. She has since seen my place come together, but at that point… it was very raw. I pulled her across the empty room to the white sheets of my bed… and laid her down… and started giving her some real sexual attention.
I am so into LMR right now. Or rather, so into “LMR as that period of time between the first kiss and sex.” I am so interested in what girls are going through (psychologically) during those moments. It’s my favorite part of Game right now. I was very interested to watch Miss Happy, and to adapt to whatever was coming up for her as this older American man went to work, pinning her arms down, kissing her, sliding his free hand up under her shirt and into the warmth between her thighs.
She took it all, all of my escalation, all of my “soft dominance,” like it was meant to be.
She was getting so hot, so fast. This wasn’t LMR at all. LMR is not a bad thing. It’s just a stage in the dance, as I see it. Most girls have some level of pacing that needs to happen, where they warm up, where they get to know you, where they test your sensitivity, where they challenge your frame, where they make sure you’re actually ready to take them sexually… No girl wants to be “crushed under the weight of a clumsy man.” Girls need time to kick your tires. They (often) need time before they are ready to be fucked.
But we already had comfort with this one, right? She had said so before we’d even met for this date (it’s in the message from her that I quoted above). I was not trying to fuck this girl on this particular night. But there she was… in my bed, almost boiling over, and very ready to go.
A long time ago, I dated a girl I call Miss NYU. She was 25 when I was 38. We met the first time, in a café, as I flirted with her and her mom (I used to love to flirt with mom and daughter combinations). I saw her a week or so later (in the same café) as she sat next to my friend and me. That day I was telling him the story of my one and only threesome. And she boldly listened in… not even trying to hide the fact that she was eavesdropping.
For Miss NYC and I, it started off as a kind of “social circle thing” (we both worked from the same café), but I ended up dating her. I was slower then, but on our third date, I had her in bed. And as we made out… she gave me this look. The look was this honest, guileless, desperate confession of a need for sex.
I have had some happy, sexy girls in my bed on this journey. But that radical “need for sex” look that Miss NYU gave me that day was remarkable. It was a very strong reference experience. I’ll never forget it. And here (almost 10 years later), I would see that look again in the eyes of a completely different girl.
Miss Happy was giving me that same “oh… I need it” look. I was in no hurry, but never let it be said that I would deny a nice girl a proper rogering. It was time. I started to peel her clothes off…
She is tall. Just a few inches shorter than me. And she is thin. Small boobs with big, delicious, full nipples. Creamy, almost flawless skin – head to toe. And (like so many Asian girls) she has almost zero hair on her body, including her shaved box (which isn’t really my thing, but she “wore it” well).
And she was moaning. And breathing heavily. Her girly femininity had shifted into an emotional passion. She wasn’t leading, she wasn’t in any way aggressive, but only totally responsive, her very sensitive body twisting as I worked her over. She was literally shaking with a simple need of it.
I knew I had a case with some condoms in my work bag across the room. I had taken my clothes off by then too. I had rammed myself against her sweet ass and teased her already. So I walked across the room, got my condom case, rolled on one of the world’s best condoms, and…
+1 Japan. Happy 2020 to me. To both of us.
And it was good.
Unlike the lovely Miss Happy, I really didn’t “need it.” It was very good, but at this point I was still surprised at the combination of the kind of girl she seemed to be and how fast it went down. That was the main thing I was feeling. The comfortable emptiness of having been laid. But also… surprise. I had only talked to five girls so far in the year. This one and I had only spent about three hours together (in total) up to this point.
It is often true that fast sex means it ends as quickly as it begins. I accept the role the Daygame Gods have for me (of course). So if this was to be fast seduction and “hit and quit” (on her part), I could accept that too. I have seen that before. Many times. Many of us have.
But after sex… she fell asleep in my bed.
I had a few messages to send back to America that night. So I tucked her in, put on some cotton shorts, walked to the counter in my kitchen (I didn’t have any chairs at the time), and I hammered out some emails, while this freshly-fucked, charming Chinese girl slept off the sex in my bed, on the floor of my under-furnished, Japanese bachelor pad.
It was a surreal experience. And not a bad start for the year – and for my new life in the Land of the Rising Sun.
And she spent the night. And we slept super close. It was hot. I was turned on by her all night… but even beyond the sex, it was also very intimate. There is a difference (of course), and I was getting (and giving) both.
I don’t have a fetish for same days lays (not at all), but I have had a lot of first-night sex… and it rarely feels like it did that first night with Miss Happy. What an unusual experience.
We slept the way excited lovers typically sleep when they are together – as in “not that well” – too excited by each other to really get much rest. We woke early, making out right away. I fed her some fruit in bed and I fucked her again that morning. I sent her home in a cab so she could be ready for work.
I really wasn’t sure what to think of her. It felt great to be with her (and to be inside her), totally natural, but it had been kind of “easy.” Too easy. I was tempted to see our first night together as a kind of red flag.
On the one hand, she is exactly my type. She is indeed a very happy girl, but she’s introverted. Small social circle. She doesn’t drink. Not much makeup. And she dresses conservative. All classic signs of the ideal profile for a “Nash Girl.”
But she fucked me after spending about three hours with me in total. Yohami would say that that means she had done all this many times before. And that sets her apart from the girls I know like her – they are usually much slower to allow their thighs to be pried open.
I have seen a lot of fast sex. But only because I’ve run a tremendous amount of Game. Most of the girls I fuck, don’t fuck quickly. “Three dates” is a golden guideline:
“Relationships can often come if the girl resists for three or four dates. The reason why women do that, is that women with high self-esteem, they want to showcase their personality. They want to say, ‘Here, listen, don’t just go for the hole. I have a whole life I want to show you, I’m a great person.’ So they stop it. Stop it and they get to showcase themselves, over three nights, for example, until the guy says, ‘Wow, this is a quality person I want to spend time with.’ And then they’ll give sex up, once they’ve shown you who they are. A lot of girls that give it up quickly, they don’t have a chance to show you how great they are. And after a guy has sex… he thinks, ‘Ahh, I’m not that interested.'”
— Paul Janka
Great analysis here from Janka. Very well said.
Yeah, three dates is healthy. It’s normal. Beautiful even. This has seemed obvious to me since high school.
I was definitely going to try to date her again, but as I tried to digest the fast-sex experience, I was curious as to why I didn’t see any other traits in her that matched that behavior. There were no signs of promiscuity in her stories. No sense she was “trading” sex for anything that first night. No sense she had anything to prove (to herself or to me).
I have seen her many times since then… and she is a really, lovely, generous, wonderful girl. And a fucking fantastic lover (not so “skillful” as she is “passionate”). But I am still a little surprised at that first date.
She has had some difficulties with her family (perhaps that is why she was ready to move to Japan), but she seems very at-ease with herself. Maybe a little bit confident (in some areas).
Or more so, she is a very “natural” girl.
My thought now is that (under the right conditions) she can “open” easily. She is not hyper-adventurous or thrill-seeking, but she is “open” to leadership. I showed some skill. I am a capable seducer. But her natural “openness” is my best explanation for why she fell into bed so completely.
I am not sure about her level of sexual experience. When I fucked her that first night, she told me it had been a long time since she had had sex (she has said it again, since then), but I think she has known some men. She has claimed I have given her several “firsts,” and maybe some of that is true… but I don’t need to take all those kinds of details from girls seriously.
Something I know I want to include here:
MISS HAPPY: I don’t know what kind of man I like, I only know what kind of man I don’t like.
I love this ^ line from her. Take from it what you will, but I think it’s an excellent window in the female mind.
Here is something else from my time with her:
On our first date, I asked her to tell me about what makes her feel sexy? What conditions bring out the side of her that feels sexy? And she responded, “when I’m with a man I really love so much…” And that is a safe, demure, respectable answer. Sounds very K-selected. But we know she fucked me on that first date… so clearly, being deep in love isn’t a requirement for her for a sexual experience.
And then, on our second date, when we were making out she told me she loved me. She said, “I love you.” As she said it, I let that first one go by, just stared at her (most of the time, that is how I handle myself when girls say that to me these days).
But the second time, I lovingly corrected her:
MISS HAPPY: I love you
NASH: You don’t know me well enough to love me…
NASH: You can LOVE how I make you feel
NASH: You can LOVE the time we spend together
NASH: We can LOVE on each other…
NASH: But you need to know me better before you decide if you “love me”
This ^ flowed out of me, on the spot, unrehearsed… and it felt good. It felt real.
Like I said in the intro to this post… “the notch” here isn’t the thing for me. My time with this girl has given me the notch, and some radically good sex (she is already in my top three lovers of all time). But a lot of what I am taking from this experience with her are deeper “Relationship Game” elements.
That little speech was done “in love.” It was gentle coaching – a grown man with experience taking care of a lovely girl. I wasn’t busting on her. I was just shaping our relationship a little. It was good advice, it was in service to her, but also gave me an opportunity to show I am a solid, real guy, not overly swept up in a great make out or a strong declaration from a pretty thing. It was an opportunity to lead her.
After all the dates since that first night, I still don’t have any red flags to report – none at all. She is still a girl. She has a lot of the innately wild qualities that so many woman have. There is challenge and she tests a lot. But she likes to see me win – which is a great sign in a woman. She seems like an ideal girlfriend (we have made no promises, but she is almost that to me now). And she would likely make a wonderful wife. She is a winner.
Our many dates have given me more opportunities for me to practice masculine leadership.
One way in which I am “practicing” with her is by giving her “chores” to do. Little things, like telling her to make the bed. And we went on a date to a festival, and I made her do the research and give me the info I needed to plan the date. I am a hard worker and very romantic (at times). I can sometimes do “too much” as I bring a girl into my world and plan all our dates. All that is fine for short term flings and even the hyper-romance of some of the very long dates I’ve had with girls in the last few years…
But if I want to have anything long-term with a girl (now, or in the future), I know I need to “make her work.” This is something the strongest of the Traditional Conservative men know best of all. When they have their wives working hard with holding down the house, taking care of the kids, and supporting them in their work… those women are too busy to cause drama. They are in service. And as those women work in service of the relationship, they aren’t (as much of) a tax on the man’s time and energy. They make a contribution. There is a productive harmony. That’s good Game.
I am trying to learn all this.
So… we’ve been a happy pair. And I am so damn busy with work and school (and the cursed Corona Flu) here in Japan, I’m not gaming at all… but I’m not trying to be her boyfriend. I have told her that I don’t want what most boyfriends (or husbands) have. I have told her we are “lovers.” And we are.
And across these many dates she has proved to be an exceptional lover indeed. In terms of sex… she and I are off the charts.
I don’t think I should necessarily have the same sexual drive as some of you younger bucks. But she was here overnight on Friday and I fucked her three times in less than 24 hours. She is endlessly sexual (even when we’re not fucking, she wants to be pawed and kissed), but she’s never needy about it. It is so easy to give to her. She is vocal and explosive… from my hands, from my mouth, and when I fuck her.
As I am so into the concept of “deep (emotional) sex”, she has started to get what I mean there, too. She is intensely physical, but not always “deeply emotionally connected” as we fuck. I have strongly emphasized this with her – because that is what I want. I have made her look me in the eyes as I pound into her… not always, but quite often. And she’s figuring it out. And my cock is twice as hard when she really gives me her eyes along with her soft body. It’s amazing to fuck like that.
And this weekend, after a lot of exploration with my hands… we have her squirting properly. She said something very interesting:
She claims she has never squirted before her time with me. And she said that as I have had her so close to squirting – but she hadn’t fully released – she has felt some “pain.” As she is figuring out her potential to “flood,” the pressure that builds up as I work her with my fingers has been incredibly pleasurable (and amazing to see how emotional she is in these moments), but uncomfortable too. But that discomfort is gone now that she knows how to “explode.” The pressure builds up, she “pops,” and she feels release on the backside of all that sexual tension. She fully soaked me and the bed on our third session yesterday. Wonderful. She is a happy girl.
(We have also been spanking her a lot. She looks very hot with a rosy, pink ass.)
I am very well suited for her, in that I know what I am doing and I know what I want. I know how to excite a feminine girl. I knew how to bring her and I to sex quickly (and she obviously wanted that). I have done a solid job leading her. I have given her repeated exposure to being led by a confident, experienced man… over and over again. And she, in her feminine way, has given me incredible experiences as she has accepted my direction and “bloomed for me” in our times together.
“It’s not only as a protagonist, meaning, ‘how can I play my role perfectly here.’ It is almost like you have a third perspective – it is the perspective of a director. You are no longer just a protagonist, an actor, playing your part perfectly. But you now also play the role of the director. You see the whole thing happening. And you say, ‘as a protagonist, this is my role.’ And also, ‘for her to shine, this needs to happen, and I need to do this.’ It’s a different way of thinking.”
— Hans Comyn
I am not dating anyone else right now (for all the reasons I have mentioned). It is more circumstantial than any signal of commitment or monogamy. This weekend, she tried to have some version of “the talk” with me and I neither rejected her nor implied I was going to be her boyfriend. I reminded her we have only known each other for about five weeks… she took it all, she relaxed as I listened to her and led her through my feelings on the issue. And I fucked her again after – and it was hot, already so warm from the emotions of the talk.
So that is Miss Happy. My radically sexy, lovely, 28 year old lover. This special girl. And it all started when a man talked to a girl on the street.
May we have good experiences. May we give the girls good experiences. Viva Daygame. All hail the Daygame Gods.
Nash what resources do you recommend for getting better at sex?
A lot of people like Sex God Method. I’m not that into it, but for “how to,” lots of people like that.
I will tell you… GOOD SEX is a BYPRODUCT of other things. It’s not really technique. The technique is the easy part. It’s the obvious part. And you’ll run “good technique” and see NOTHING, and then you’ll know what I mean.
Look at my LMR AND MISS NERVOUS post. I ran good technique… but that wasn’t what she needed.
If you have any experience with porn, you’ve seen all the “mechanical technique” stuff. I learned from porn (at the mechanical level) when I was younger. I still like porn (Japanese stuff – the girls are less vulgar and ridiculous… and I like Asian girls).
But GOOD SEX is a BYPRODUCT of how she feels about you. Very true.
Does she TRUST you? I have been going off about TRUST on Twitter, but it is especially true in bed. Can she “trust you like she trusts a pilot?” (credit Alex Allman).
Can you “GO FIRST.” If you want her to be hot, to be open, to make noise, to tell you how good it feels… are you leading by example? Don’t “be the girl,” but you need to create the “sexual culture” that you want. You have to lead her… in bed and everywhere. Show her what you want to see… invite her into that. You’re the man. Lead.
Can you make it “NOT WEIRD.” Girls have seen guys “get weird” in bed. Anything like that will close her up, turn her away. Just because your dick isn’t hard, doesn’t mean it has to be weird. Can you MAKE IT PLAYFUL when it’s awkward?
Can you HOLD TENSION to make it more intense/serious when the time calls for it?
EYE CONTACT. Look up “eye gazing.” It can be done “in love.” It can be done “in aggressive fuck mode.” But it’s very intense. Can you hold it.
Can you BOTH give her INTENSITY AND WARMTH?
DO YOU CARE WHAT HER EXPERIENCE IS? This matters. Rivelino spent last weekend telling everyone to “be selfish.” I love RIv, but I think that is terrible advice (and even though he said it over and over, I don’t think that’s really what he meant). Rather, you can focus on your own pleasure, but ONLY if that is hot for her? She might love having you take her, do what you want, get off on her face. Lots of girls do. But along the way, if she doesn’t like it… do you notice? Can you correct?
Many girls like different things. I love to eat pussy, I don’t really care if it’s her thing… I love it, and most girls like it at least a little. Other girls love fingers inside them. Most girls like cock, at least with me… but I don’t focus on that too much, as I can’t pound forever without getting off… so I mix in everything else. Give her a good experience. And I like a wide, “multi course” sexual experience myself.
GIVE HER MORE OF WHAT SHE LIKES, LESS OF WHAT SHE DOESN”T LIKE. Stupid-dumb, but so true. (Credit Yohami). True through the whole rel, but very, very true in bed.
Don’t assume every girl likes the same thing… they don’t.
CAN YOU OPEN HER UP? Meaning, is she “getting fucked?” Or are you two “FUCKING TOGETHER?” Check my notes on the Mormon Virgin and Miss Bangs “deep sex.” Is she showing you HER HEART while she is getting fucked? If she is… both of you will be having a better time.
DEEP SEX is about making sure you aren’t just fucking, but you’re fucking HER (specifically), and she knows it (that’s true when you’re eating her box too). And making sure she knows she’s not just getting fucked, but she’s GETTING FUCKED BY YOU (specifically). A lot of this is done via eye contact. That is the “channel” thru which you connect.
Experiment with making sure she is really looking at you, really breathing with you, as you fuck. Lead her into that. Say, “Look at me, yeah, like that, that’s perfect.” It is up to you to bring your TIMING together. Try it with breathing. Match your breathing to the “in/out” of it all. See if it doesn’t make the sex better when you give each other your real focus… heavy EYE CONTACT.
I make out a lot as I fuck. I often kiss her as I come. It’s what I like.
If you can start to think of THESE THINGS ^, and then relax, make sure you both feel comfortable together, escalate, but don’t “rush it.” I think the techniques will come kind of naturally. It’s the OTHER STUFF that is where things get really good and “open up.”
Show that you can ESCALATE… but don’t fetishize “first date sex.” ESCALATE, some. Pay attention to how she is taking it. Showing her you can NOTICE is how she starts to TRUST YOU. Be a man, make it sexual… but don’t rush it.
I could say a lot more… but there are some things to think about.
Cheers to you.
Good psychological commentary but if that guy wants a bit more nitty gritty here it is https://theredquest.wordpress.com/2019/09/10/sex-skills-for-guys-psychology-preparation-and-practice/
As with many things there is the psychological element and the tactile immediate element and IMO both are important and feed into each other.
“What should you do” is not enough because you need to know the “why should you do it this way” or “what constraints are operating on the system.” But I want to give out some “what should I do” as well. Some specific ideas.
Most girls claim most guys have no idea what they’re doing in bed… some of those claims are girl bravado… not all of them I think.
This is super helpful Nash! Would love a post or more in the comments. I resonate with your style and want to create an amazing experience for the women I date
[…] & online dating.” There’s some overlap with the above but the emphasis differs. Nash also has some psychological ideas, “GOOD SEX is a BYPRODUCT of other things. It’s not really technique. The technique is the […]
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