The Assistant, Kiss Close | Masculine/Feminine Polarity
Another “single serving” connection. Chinese. Tourist. I picked her up on Tuesday… after I met Miss Tease (for our 2nd episode of afternoon sex in hotel). I was only out running game because I wanted to continue my “streak.”
Let’s call her The Assistant.
She was the 5th of five girls that I approached that day. Slow walk, nice hips. Stopped easily. She had arrived in my city that day. Good chat about travel and China. Tried to close her via WeChat.
Her phone was out of juice, so she wrote down my ID… but she did add me later. Green light. Three pings later we had a daytime date set up.
Met her downtown. Got tea. Took her to the park… Right away it felt a bit “on.” She asked me lots of questions… that is very rare, in my experience. On dates… I lead almost all the conversation. We were 15 minutes into the date, it was broad daylight, but I was already touching her a lot.
Then… the art museum. I told her they will only give us free tickets (I am a member) if she is “cool enough.” I teased her that they would test her… She pinched my arm. We were heating up.
I think she was just barely into the art… more so into the date. And I wanted to kiss her right away. At this video exhibit I took her hand and played with her fingers. Pressed my palm to hers. Soft hands and strong chemistry in the dark.
Another video exhibit… She was taking my touch so well. I asked if she was wearing perfume, she said yes. I smelled her neck, she took it all. Urgent need to kiss her… So I did.
We looked at more art… But the vibe was in the air. As we left, I put us in an under-used elevator and gave her a solid, deep, proper kiss. All the lights on my dashboard were flashing… so on.
It was 6 PM. I asked, did she “want to meet my cats?” She smiled and shook her head. I took her for a drink at the fancy hotel bar. Big kiss in the elevator on the way up to the bar. Drinks on the couch, lots of touching, very close.
And she told me some stories about getting picked up:
In Vancouver once… a guy approached her at Starbucks. Told her he thought she was beautiful, wanted her “mobile number.” She gave it to him because she thought he wouldn’t go away without it. He wanted to date her. She wouldn’t do it. (Or so she said.)
Another time in Vancouver… some guy was on a date with a different Chinese girl… “but she wasn’t too pretty.” As that girl went to the “washroom,” the guy approached, said he thought she was very beautiful, wanted her number. She declined.
Yet another time in BC… a guy approached her on the street. “He ran and stopped me, just like you did.” “He said I am very beautiful and he want to take me to dinner. He wanted to date me, but I say no.”
I asked if guys in China stop her… and she said no. But then she said, “I don’t really like Chinese boys.” I asked again. She said, “they are a little shy… and when they try, I am not interested.” But of course there are daygamers in China… all countries have their share of cool men.
As she finished those stories she said, “you are very lucky,” implying she had choosen me from the crowd of suitors. I shook my head. I told her I liked her, that I was obviously having a great time with her, but that it wasn’t luck.
I told her I could tell she really liked me… that too was obvious. And that she was the lucky one… Not because I am “so cool,” but because she was so happy. And it is lucky to have this kind of experience.
She went doe-eyed. She was “all in” at the level of her heart. I told her I wanted to get her alone. That it was so difficult not to kiss her… that we needed to be alone. We were both aching for it.
She said no to my place. I said, “let’s go to your hotel.” She said I would lose control. I told her I would not… That I would kiss her, hard. That it is true, I wanted to take her clothes off, but that I would be fine… Unless we wanted to go further. I told her “you will lose control.” She agreed.
Her eyes were desperate at this point. She was having a “movie like” romance with an experienced man… And she was loving it. She said, “I want to… but I will lose control. We need to wait.” I said, “I understand.”
HER: I don’t want it come fast go fast…
As we left… I hoped that we would be alone in the elevator, and we were. I held her head and tasted her mouth. As we hit the ground floor, no one was there… I made her wait… the door closed on us and I sent us back up. Another long kiss. No one. Back down… our mouths met yet again. My cock was hard. I put her hand on it.
“Let’s go,” I said. She told me she could find her way back to her hotel on her own. I said I would walk her. She said… “can we go back to the park?” I said I’d take her to the Square.
In the Square, we sat side by side on a bench. We held hands. She was completely “floppy” (as Krauser would say). She was campaigning for me to visit Beijing (instead of Shanghai) if I go to China this year. She said… “we need to wait.” And her eyes were tortured with the want to move forward and the competing feeling that we needed to slow down.
I didn’t push at all. I didn’t need to… She was more than attracted, but she was resisting the reality of fucking a man she had only spent about three hours with in total. I walked her back to her hotel.
Men have to create their value.
Women have to protect their value.
— Rivelino (@alpharivelino) April 28, 2017
At the hotel, she was in a mild sexual panic. I could see her mind racing. She wanted it, badly. In between the kissing I would ask her, again, if she wanted me to come up to her room. It was a simple, confident offer. I fucked two girls in the two days before this date… I was not at all over-eager. I made my offer. And stared at her.
She led me around the corner… I wasn’t sure why. She said, “too many people can see us.” She wanted to extend our goodbye… and to kiss some more. The sun hadn’t set yet. Her tongue in my mouth. Up to her room, I asked? Her eyes were tormented by the hindbrain/forebrain conflict. This was ASD, not LMR, but result was the same.
HER: You know, when I really like someone, I don’t hope things come fast go fast. Many beautiful things last an instant. But, I hope some beautiful things are long lasting in my life.
From later ^, via WeChat. This is her… explaining ASD to a daygamer. And this is also her, positioning herself as “K selected.”
She asked if I would forget her? She pushed me again to come to Beijing. She said we had to wait until… until she could come back to my city and we could be together again.
I kissed her again. She went inside.
I am amazed over and over at how "compatible" the girls and I are in these situations… strangers, immediately connecting.
It's because of MALE/FEMALE POLARITY. When you run the dance that way, connection is very predictable…. shockingly common… and "rich" each time.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) May 1, 2018
This ^ is from a different girl… a Japanese tourist from two weeks ago. Also “single serving.” Also… great connection. Sexy, comfortable, romantic… all this in the space of a few hours. How does it happen so fast? So easily? So often?
With The Assistant… here it was again. Nearly desperately strong connection (from a dead start) between… complete strangers. We had one drink on this date, but we were locked on each other before the alcohol hit our lips. How does it happen like this… So intense, so fast?
It’s me… that is part of it, of course… it’s what I’ve worked to learn… it’s all the dates, all the practice. It’s the art of charm. It’s game. It’s learning how to be the masculine version of “geisha.” To use our skill to please girl after girl. For her pleasure… and most certainly for our own.
But more so… it’s the masculine/feminine dance. My ever-increasing experience might explain why she hooks… But does not explain why I hook in these moments. I hook… because I am playing my role well, and the rhythm of the dance is intoxicating. That is all masculine/feminine polarity.
That dance… is greater than the dancers themselves. And the power of masculine/feminine polarity is the best explanation I have for how I could wander into a date, on a week when I am exhausted, and yet… BOOM, connection. When the opportunities are there… this happens again and again.
PS: And for the record… I did three approaches before this date… which means 53 Days of Game in a row.
“When you run the dance that way, connection is very predictable…. shockingly common”
“I hook… because I am playing my role well, and the rhythm of the dance is intoxicating.”
Can definitely identify with that.
I got the sense early on in the report that sex was not gonna happen… approximately when you were touching her a lot in the museum, and later from two other things specifically:
-You described that it was very much on, she was very much into it
-You kissed her a lot
In my experience, when these things happen at the same time, it’s dangerous. Did you feel this during the date? Or did you not really care, but kept escalating and trying to pull to the very end?
Do we have very different styles, and this type of date (a lot of kino, it’s very on, a lot of kissing) usually leads to sex for you?
I think it’s baseline “normal” for a girl to wait 2-3 dates. That is normal. Even for guys like Krauser.
== We push, she paces
That is normal. That’s healthy. We “build value.” She “protects her value.” Healthy, good stuff.
In this case, I have never seen a girl so into me before I got her naked. She was “hurting” because she couldn’t fuck me… and she couldn’t, because of her own standards, only.
I think it is true that we all think less of gives that give up quickly. So “girls have to PROTECT THEIR VALUE,” per Rivelino’s quote. ASD in this case, not LMR.
And… there is basic comfort. Coming to a man’s place is an obvious risk. If a girl dates you 2-3 times, she can give you several chances to “drop the mask” and show something that is actually dangerous. If a man can make it 2-3 dates, everyone is having fun, and she doesn’t see any red flags, he clears the “psycho” hurdle.
She is also getting more psychologically comfortable. I can really feel girls “settle into me” over 2-3 dates. It’s normal for a girl to want to be a little bit comfortable before she fucks.
Then there is this:
“Relationships can often come if the girl resists for three or four dates. The reason why women do that, is that women with high self-esteem, they want to showcase their personality. They want to say, ‘Here, listen, don’t just go for the hole. I have a whole life I want to show you, I’m a great person.” Because the guy gets very distracted. So they stop it, stop it, and they get to showcase themselves, over three nights, for example, until the guy says ‘Wow, this is a quality person I want to spend time with.’ And then they’ll give sex up, once they’ve shown you who they are. A lot of girls that give it up quickly, they don’t have a chance to show you how great they are. And after a guy has sex… he thinks, ‘Ahh, I’m not that interested.'”
With all that… I think I ran a great date. A very, very good date — even if it was a certain “style” that other guys might not like.
Maybe some guy could have fucked her 1st date (I am sure), but it’s hardly a failure if we do not. First date sex is rare… both in my experience and in the stories I hear from other guys.
This one is a bit “K.” She is literally saying, over and over, that she doesn’t want it to “come fast, go fast.” That’s K. She is saying it.
I know I used to look and act “K” myself. And I don’t anymore… mostly because I’m physically aggressive. I was on this date. I’m fast. But I think the parts of me that are “BF material” still bring out some “K” from these girls as well.
I think the expectation that we SHOULD be able to fuck girls on the first date is up there with the idea that we can make “any girl like us” as long as we know “the right line.” I think that’s mostly BS.
This ^ is mostly guys playing “mad scientist” thinking they can tinker their way into 100% success rate. I don’t think so. And… I think this date was massively successful for this type of girl.
Knowing some good lines and how to run a date are great ways to TRAIN toward better performance… but those things don’t change IRL patterns that we see in the field. You don’t need “one more tweak” or a “slightly better line.”
Not all girls will like us. And even when we run very high-quality dates… they don’t always fuck on the first night.
Yeah, unless I pull her home from a club, it’s usually 2-3 dates for me as well… the exception was this weeks Monday.
I agree that it’s a fantasy that we should be able to pull them home on the first date. Reality is more painful and complicated. It doesn’t give a shit if we feel impatient.
I’m very curious to hear how this turns out!
Yeah. That’s real. Krauser talks about this. Janka talks about this. Those guys are top shelf players… and they close, quite often on the 2-3 dates.
It’s also very real in my experience. This is what I see. That married girl I close a few weeks ago… 3 dates. She was more and more relaxed, and into, and turned on… and then we fucked. That’s normal/healthy pattern.
Krauser says those “fast pulls” are “highlights” not “normal.” It’s great if it happens (and I have done SDL and insta-pulls a couple of times), but that’s not “average.”
All that makes sense to me.
There is a chance I will see her one more time before she goes back to China. She is in LA, and might be back here before she goes home… she is talking about seeing me then… and she is very into it.
“We push, she paces”
This line is ‘you push, she resists’, or ‘you’re pushing ahead, she’s using the brakes’, or ‘you exhaust the girl’s defenses’
“You swing, she gives you an opening, you escalate”
“She “protects her value.”
From bottom guy. She doesn’t protect her value from men she likes.
So – now that your’e really channeling this male / female polarity, go back to the very firsts times when I was trying to describe how top guy (before I had used that name) dealt with the girls, new girls, and fuck them quick.
“treat new girls the same way you treat girls that you’re already fucking”
This is because with the girls you already fucked, you’re past this “protect the value” game, or you’re likely not doing the same things, you’re past the threshold, and ‘likely’ acting with entitlement instead of being a pursuer. Or, maybe you do keep pursuing / chasing after you’ve banged them? if at any point you feel like the one calling the shots, and the one setting the pace and setting the direction, and the girl is a happy passenger just playing along, THERE is what you’d gain a lot by moving that side of you to early in the interaction. How early? very early. That familiarity should be there since the ‘hello’.
So when you start interacting with a new girl she’ll put the puzzle in front of you, or the walls + openings or arousal + non arousal points, all laid out. If you go for the openings and ignore the walls not only you escalate frictionless but this arouses the shit out of the girl.
So she won’t be ‘protecting’ her value but rubbing it on your face.
Do you know what Im talking about? have you seen girls rubbing their value on the faces of men they find attractive, with no defenses whatsoever?
Have you felt, when you’re channeling that manly polarity, that when the girl plays along in that very common and predictable way, she has no defenses whatsoever?
Girls have no defenses whatsoever when they are feeling the right way.
I hear you, man. But no, that is not what we’re saying when we use that line. That is Janka’s guideline for “who leads sex.” We do, we lead. And we often are on the accelerator, and she “encourages us” or she does not.
This is a MACRO comment. This is the arch of sex in the seduction.
On the MICRO level… I am 100% with you that anything I am doing that is causing “resistance” or that leads me to crash into a “wall” is Bottom Guy game.
But at the MACRO level, Janka is saying something that is very useful to me, personally, and matches my experience in seduction.
This ^ is perfect-prefect advice. And it’s true at both the MACRO and MICRO levels of seduction.
Yohami, have you heard of SwingCat’s product Masculine Polarity. Sundance pointed it out to me and I’m just checking it out now. It is EXCELLENT.
I will be writing about it at some point… you would love a lot of what he has to say.
This is great advice.
I have been thinking about how you talk about “the switch.” I think you say that… that one day you flipped the switch and you stopped “chasing” and started being Top Guy. I have a sense for that… I’m not there yet, but I’m getting closer.
I DO have this kind of entitlement and familiarity… particularly when I have a LOT of girls going on, and/or I have been dating day after day after day. In that case, my body is “trained” (temporarily) and it all flows… there is no “set up,” there is just “the move” and it lands, because… of course it lands.
I can feel this. I can’t always do it. And I think being very “warmed up” is the key for this kind of familiarity at this stage of my game.
I am super into the distinction between STRATEGIES and BY PRODUCTS.
Being “familiar” isn’t a STRATEGY. You can’t try to “do this.” For me, that entitled familiarity is a BY PRODUCT of me having a lot of (recent?) experience. When I have lots of girls cycling through my life… yes, they feel “familiar” to me, and everything I do is more causal and expectant and smoother.
So… the PLAN IS THE SAME. Find, meet, attract, close. That is a good STRATEGY. And if I work hard enough (=put myself in situations where I can showcase my very real value to YHT) and my game is good enough… I will have women in my life, and at a certain scale I will have the “mythical abundance” (it’s real, but rare) and then… it will feel “easy” (for a time, this doesn’t usually last long for me)… and then… I will have familiarity (as a by product), and my game will look better and I will cycle up.
BOOM. TOP GUY!
Ummm… I’ll reply to this two ways:
1.) For MOST GUYS… this isn’t about our game (sort of), it’s about HOW MANY MILES SHE WANTS ON HER. A “classic” car with low miles is high value. A “classic car” with 300k miles on it… is a liability that most men don’t want. It’s “worn out.” It’s low value. Girls know this.
So this isn’t about “our game,” so much, as it is her knowing she needs to keep the mileage down, or her value goes down. This isn’t measured in how many times she’s fucked, but in HOW MANY MEN. It is not controversial that a woman with a high lay count is MUCH less desirable than a more chaste woman.
(The “T” in YHT stands for “tight” which means “chaste”… low sexual partners)
This isn’t about our game… it’s about her “lifetime notch count.” And SHE KNOWS IT… so her default across her life is “protect value”… if she’s smart. This is hallmark “K” strategy.
So she DOES fuck… but even when she likes a guy (MOST of the time) she will delay and put up hurdles, SLOW HERSELF DOWN to keep her mileage down. That is smart behavior.
I feel certain, that is what this girl was doing… and what several other girls have done with me in the last year, particularly the Chinese Fashion girl in NYC last Fall.
2.) For TOP GUY… he might be the guy she fucks no matter what. This is very possible, as I see it. She could have the very smart/adaptive plan I outlined above… AND make an acception for Top Guy. Top Guy is so rare… that she can do this, and still remain relatively chaste.
For chaste girls… they basically derail every seduction, except for Top Guy (and even then, I’m sure you can think of times when girls say no even though they really want to fuck). So the 3-10 guys she fucks in her life were 90% Top Guys… and maybe one guy was a “fling”/mistake or a guy that ends up being the provider guy she settles with.
I think I am increasingly in the neighborhood of Top Guy… but I have a long way to go. So… I get them to cross over sometimes (like with the Married girl a couple weeks ago), and other times, they want to… but I’m not quite “enough.”
And I want to be “enough.” I want to be “better.” I am working on it. I want to be Top Guy. I get the idea… I’m trying to get it in practice.
But that doesn’t mean girls don’t protect their value. Smart girls do, period. Even if Top Guy doesn’t see it, it’s still true 98% of the time.
So we have to break this into “types” for your teaching to make more sense.
Expectations for Top Guy… vs expectations for everyone else.
“Men have to create their value. Women have to protect their value.” -@alpharivelino
possibly my favorite thing i have ever written, thanks for the mention!
“She was completely ‘floppy’ (as Krauser would say).”
…not to be too pedantic, but “floppy” is originally a tom torero term. i tried to resist writing this, but i couldn’t help myself :-)
Sneaky Tom stole that line… from Jesus.
Jesus said it first. Everyone knows this. : ]
Technically correct since God is reflected in our thoughts!
That “you are very lucky” comment is a funny one. When I got that from my last yht, I replied, “I never said I wasn’t.” I feel like it’s something you can’t lose if you answer yes or no – yes implies you’re lucky, and winners are lucky. If you go your route and say no, and turn it on her, that works too. Only way to lose is if you pedestalize her, and imply you don’t deserve your good luck by opening your mouth too much. Daygame, removing your own obstacles again and again.
That is a very good line… as I’m sure you’ve seen… I’ve been throwing all over Twitter. That line says a lot.
There is a variant I heard once: “Men are valued for their experience, women are valued for a lack of experience.”
And my personal favorite double standards: Men should work to run up their lay count, they will learn much from that process (from trying). Women… should keep that lay count as low as possible… there is not much to learn that will help them from their role in all this… and all the miles make them less desirable.
“Men are valued for their experience, women are valued for a lack of experience.”
that’s pretty good too, hadn’t heard that before.
i like my better though, because it reminds us that BOTH are difficult. it’s not easy to CREATE yourself, but it’s also not easy to PROTECT yourself from the vices of the outside world. you know what i mean?
the more i get into game, the more i realize how much girls LOVE cock. that is their temptation. big hard cock. and so of course, girls want to get banged big time, they want to indulge in hot sex as much as men do, if not more.
so for a girl, PROTECTING her pussy from men who only want to use her and abuse her — the most tempting men! — that’s not easy, if she wants to still be of value as a gf and wife. (at least in theory. now men are marrying sluts, sadly).
and that’s why i LOVE this article by victor pride. good girls don’t exist, since religion is dead. but shy girls DO exist, and they’re the ones who protect their value the most, just because it’s part of their core personality.
They are only protecting it from bottom / unworthy men. If a guy turns her on she has no denfenses for him.
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