TYO: 1st Date with Jafrica | How to Escalate
It is sometimes a fun part of this project that each girl gets a name so that she is anonymous. In this case… Jafrica. That is Japanese + Africa. She is not the slightest bit African, but I did tease her about that. She is a remarkably beautiful Japanese girl.
She speaks English very well, and with almost no accent. If it wasn’t for the slight pause, and that look of distracted concentration when she is trying to translate in her head, you might think she has lived in America. Her English is so fluent because she spent four years in Africa when she was young, her parents had work there and she went to an American school. That is the African part of her.
(Side note: I am in this Japanese beer pub near my apartment. They have a TV and they play American movies. I am laughing at tonight’s choice, as it is the #1 movie I associate with daygame, because Tom Torero uses it as his “DVD seduction” so often. Bonus points if you can name it. What a coincidence.)
I met her after an epic daygame session last week. She was… The 30th girl of the day. I had a great time that day, the day I coined my new title — I am a Blowout Artist, or BOA (© Nash, Days Of Game, 2017). I was done with my session, on my way home, about two minutes away from my apartment, but I spotted her on the people bridge and I had to open her.
She had a nice face, but it was dark, and very cold that night. It was 8 PM on a Tuesday, she was just leaving work so she was tired, but pretty. That lovely face was partially obscured by a scarf. As she passed, I did what any red-blooded man would do… I turned to look at her ass. Huge coat, wasn’t much to see, but she was wobbling a bit on skinny legs… I read the whole thing as a tired, but very feminine girl after a long day.
I opened her and she stopped easy. I told her she was femmy, but looked a bit tired — trying to have a bit of push/pull there. Quick chat and a Line App close. She was one of four leads that day.
NASH: Hey Cute Girl, nice to see you and your walk today.
HER: Hi! Was nice to meeting you. At first I thought you wanted to ask me the way to somewhere.
NASH: That feminine walk… I really appreciate feminine women
HER: Feminine… I have never heard
Texting was light and easy, in part as she speaks English… She was responsive and friendly, if not especially fun.
Several rounds of back and forth. I was just starting to hit abundance as I met her so I wasn’t needy or over eager. Nothing like 15+ fresh leads to make you a little cooler via text. Volume is the secret to all of this. All of it.
I asked her out and she was busy:
NASH: Any chance you can meet for a drink at 19:00 tmrw?
HER: I already have appointments tomorrow and the day after tomorrow :(
After all the back and forth this felt pretty on, even with a “no” in the first pass at a date. After I secured my date with the Nurse, I locked this one in for a date for Sunday.
I really had no idea what she looked like. I feel that way all the time when I meet daygame girls, but she was the 30th girl of the day when we met, part of blur of lovely Japanese girls from that day. So I might have passed her at the meeting spot, maybe even looked her in the eyes, but I went inside, told her to come to me, and she was… Much better looking than I remembered. Wow.
I have met so many girls here on this trip. Maybe 100 approaches so far. I have commented that many are “cuter than they are beautiful.” This girl is beautiful. More beautiful, than sexy, but one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever dated.
She’s not “model” status (and fuck model status, if my CEO likes her, that’s all that matters), but a remarkably flawless face. Perfect skin, perfect. Like a pool of almond milk. Not that dusty white (which I also like very much), creamier, with a touch of yellow. Rich black hair just past her neck… dark, lush.
She wore a conservative dress and tights. Big, flowing sleeves in a Japanese style that she would have to adjust each time she reached for some part of our meal… it gave her a “feminine handicap” (like high heels do), and I loved it. I took her to the same place I took the Nurse and the Business Girl. That place is great.
Like the Nurse, but unlike the Business Girl… She was attentive. She doesn’t drink, so she sipped an ice tea during dinner. I had a whiskey, and then switched to water. As my water got low she noticed, and made sure I was taken care of. Of all the girls I have ever dated, the Japanese girls are the very best about with this kind of attention. It is charming. Yes.
(And it says quite a bit about Business Girl, as she stands out as the least attentive and sweet.)
Very good reference experiences here.
I would point out that she never asked me a question all dinner. Not about me or my life, anyway. That is very common for daygame dates. Welcome to leading.
I have the gift of gab. I can talk endlessly, and that might keep me from leaving room for her to talk more. I ask a lot of questions, and mix in stories and DHVs here/there.
At one point I was asking her to tell me about a favorite boyfriend she has had, and she said something that stood out for me:
HER: I like a guy that knows things I don’t.
That is one way she wants him to be “better than her.” I am going to write about that idea someday. It’s true, and I first heard it from The Black Phillip Show (which is crazy, but full of redpill gold). I hear it all the time now, from very different sources. If she is going to want you and respect you (which are the same thing), you have to be better than her. More on that some other time.
I touched her a lot. Hand on her back all night. We sat at the same sunken counter I always request, side by side, so she is perfectly grope-able. She took all my touch very well. Moving her as we walked to the bistro. And then at the table. I grabbed her around the bicep, just like the Nurse, and high enough under her arm to feel the moist heat of her body… That always turns me on. I had my hands in the hair above her neck often.
At separate times, I told her I loved her skin, and then, that she had great lips. She does. She is delicious. Like fine chocolate.
She has a slow, comfortable, but interested quality about her. She seems neither smart nor unintelligent. It’s obvious she comes from a quality family. In fact she lives at home. She is a great date. Quietly charming, calming, but so fine you want to eat her. I had a great time with her.
When I asked if she found it hard to date living with her family, she had a flash of edginess, and told me she is older than I think she is… She is 29. This girl has a face that is so smooth and buttery… I would guess 26, but she will look exceptional for another 6-8 years. Maybe more. Exceptional. Great genes in this one.
I paid the bill and we walked up the stairs to the street and half way I stopped her and told her “c’mere.” She pulled away as I tried to kiss her. It was the only sign of anything but slow-femininity I saw all night. A moment of seriousness. “Not yet.” I was a little surprised at the show of strength, but this is normal for a first date from a street approach. “Not yet,” she said, almost firmly.
“Ride on the crest of the wave…
“What the crest of the wave is, right as a great emotion happens, then you suggest something…
“Women typically… the man suggests something that escalates the situation, she goes within, sees how she feels, and if she likes how she feels, she says yes.
“So, if you put her in a very logical, kind of downstate, and you say you want to go somewhere, she goes within herself, and she says no
“If you joke, and have some good energy and momentum behind that energy, and you say lets go here, she goes within herself, she likes the direction the energy is going and she is more inclined to say yes
“Spike the wave.. and go in”
— RSD Tyler
^ This is something Yohami pointed out last week.
“The whole thing is good, but 23:04 “I only escalate when they are going to say yes”. Lead, tease “swing your dick”, see what resonates, then double on that. This is how you get a YES from every girl.”
— Yohami
This, combined with Yohami’s concept of a “ramp” is the most important stuff I am studying right now. It’s the most basic idea, I know. But the consequences of getting this are crazy powerful. I am at a point in my game where the matrix is slowing down and I can see this more often.
“I’m glad that you could see the ramp, I’ve been trying to lay down the idea of ‘double down in what works’ ‘give them what they want’ etc – shit is hard to put in words.”
— Yohami
You are doing an incredible job here, man. Thank you again.
“Fun… up… and then, ‘lets go!’
“You only do that kind of thing if they are feeling amazing
“You don’t do it if they’re not feeling amazing, don’t do it
“You only go for an escalation if they are going to say yes
“I don’t escalate when they’re not going to say yes, why would I do that?”
— Tyler
This is like how the London Daygame guys say to take her number “on a high note.” It’s the same concept, but applied to more parts of game.
And it’s more than that, as you can force a high note, then escalate. Upward spiral. I believe it is what Yohami means when he says “swing your dick.” That’s how you generate that “good energy.” I think I understand this at about 40%. Tyler’s lesson above is very, very good. But so simple, I could never get it until now. We’ll see if I can apply this going forward. I almost have this in my bag of tricks. I just need to nail it down.
So, based on my failed kiss attempt, I did not offer to take her home. That was not a high note, so no time to ask for more. That would be a downward spiral. I could have done more here, but I am practicing this model.
She has work tomorrow and said she was a little tired. I walked her to the train. We smiled and said goodnight.
As I wrote this this msg cam in:
HER: Had fun dinner! Hope you too.
I did. Charming, very high-quality girl and quite-quite beautiful.
I have two weeks left… We’ll see if we can make something of this opportunity. I have a date with her this weekend, and I am very much looking forward to it it. Tanoshimi.
I had a great experience tonight. That is why I do the work that I do. I enjoy it. And I have great experiences.
Viva daygame.
You’re going to hit gold soon.
“I don’t escalate when they’re not going to say yes, why would I do that?”
Compare this to “make the ho say no” and “try to maker her say no”.
And tie her in to what you were saying about life being a mess, then being science, then being art.
————
At the beginning you are a boy or a beta, you don’t exist as a man, you don’t take space, you are a follower, you don’t belong to the action, you’re not in the party.
Then you start taking action, having initiative, learning things, and failing. Failing means you’re moving, failing means you’re trying. Finding walls means you’re pushing forward. Hearing ‘no’ means you’re going for a ‘yes’.
Then you learn to hear the feedback and you can regulate your input, you learn to properly set the course, lead and invest – become ‘wise’ or skilled, and turn it into art, you give it the shape you want it to have, by taking the forces of nature and giving them direction, not by fighting them, but by using them.
That’s when you hear only ‘yes’.
The girl is in front of you because she’s saying ‘yes’ to something. To that little thing, that’s what you work with. That’s what gets amplified, until the whole girl is a ‘yes’. All the things that are a ‘no’ in her, you don’t interact with, you don’t invest there. This is like putting money where it gives you profits and not spending money in what doesnt.
She’s in front of you interacting with you because she wants something. She’s saying ‘yes’ to something. You dance in front of her and adopt your shapes to see what resonates, what increases the connection, and what doesn’t. When you find what she responds to, you double down on that. And the ‘yes’ intesifies. Then you dance around a bit more and find another ‘yes’ and double down on that. Take a break, and do it again. You’re rubbing that clit since moment one. Putting your ‘dick’ where her pussies are. Not wasting your energy, not overinvesting, never hearing a ‘no’. You might, will, find walls, but you don’t crash on them, they just show you where the doors are, which you proceed to cross with no resistance.
All it takes is you can hear the feedback and know how to do with it.
And that you’re not fixated on ‘doing things one way’, so more listening and more repertoire, and a clear direction.
That being said:
“So, based on my failed kiss attempt, I did not offer to take her home.”
You fucked firecracker without a kiss – without having more context I cannot tell if this one was DTF or not. Some girls will get turned on because you want to fuck them and not because you want to kiss them. So don’t just rule it out. You can still ask her to come home for a romp, even if she didn’t want to kiss you.
My go to was “come here” – kiss – “let’s go”. But there are as many little variations as there are girls in the world.
Missing a ramp doesnt automatically mean the next one isn’t available.
This is again something that is flexible.
>> You’re going to hit gold soon.
I’m on the path. I think the lesson above that you and Tyler are teaching is so ripe for potential for a guy at my level. I think if I can make that normal “bread and butter” in my game, I can see another big wave of progress.
>> The girl is in front of you because she’s saying ‘yes’ to something.
>> She’s in front of you interacting with you because she wants something.
This is a great lesson. You convinced me last year that if she comes to my place, it means she wants something. That will be a key point in a post I will make tomorrow.
I think it applies to daygame, also, assuming she hits hook point. The hook means she wants something. Give it to her.
>> To that little thing, that’s what you work with. That’s what gets amplified, until the whole girl is a ‘yes’.
Hmmm. I am listening. I can feel it, but I know I don’t totally get how to apply this yet.
>> You dance in front of her and adopt your shapes to see what resonates, what increases the connection, and what doesn’t. When you find what she responds to, you double down on that. And the ‘yes’ intesifies. Then you dance around a bit more and find another ‘yes’ and double down on that.
Yes. This is your “swing your dick.” I think what helped me see this is that Tyler specifically says that means “make her feel amazing.” I think this was harder for you to articulate, because you are naturally good at giving her positive emotions (the alpha stuff, perhaps). So you just need to time your escalation.
Tyler helped me see what you are saying, as he pointed out how he INTENTIONALLY creates the positive emotion, and then uses that “good feelings” to escalate.
I also think Tyler is showing some true genius in female psychology when he says this:
“Women typically… the man suggests something that escalates the situation, she goes within, sees how she feels, and if she likes how she feels, she says yes.
“If you joke, and have some good energy and momentum behind that energy, and you say lets go here, she goes within herself, she likes the direction the energy is going and she is more inclined to say yes”
— Tyler
So, in the very, very SHORT TERM (not about the guy in general, but about HER, in that second), you spike her, and in that immediate moment, escalate.
And to be more strategic, we get the order correct: if you want to escalate, then… spike with good emotions, and do it. It’s a two-stage process.
“if she likes how she feels, she says yes.” So the spike is first, to set up “how she feels,” and then the escalation is easy.
This is like saying “please” before you ask for something. Except in this place, you make her feel good and then take what you want.
>> You’re rubbing that clit since moment one. Putting your ‘dick’ where her pussies are.
Yes. Her “pussies” are what makes her feel good. Give her that pussy moment, then put your cock in her life.
Yup. The problem with communication is all the things that are assumed. Most of this is is second nature or intrinsically obvious (to me at this point) and the words perfectly describe what Im seeing, even though I don’t necessarily know why.
From “swing your dick” to “make her feel amazing” there are a few assumptions and bridges even though it’s technically correct.
You see that tyler intentionally makes her feel amazing. I can see that with my rational brain. But how does he measure what feels amazing, how does he know what will make her feel good in the first place? what differentiates giving her a rose and going on one knee to tell her she’s the most beautiful creature you’ve ever seen / to telling her she’s lying and that she should do X for X time? how do you know what is what?
What is self evident for me here – is the comparison of how women treat different kinds of men. I already know what women want, and how they behave. Their behavior towards me in a particular situation reflects perfectly the category, the role they put me in. I ‘know’ how they would be treating me if they would be seeing me as the man they want to fuck, so I keep moving and adopting shapes until they do.
But the core again would snap to this:
All these girls want to fuck an alpha and would fuck an alpha right now. So which model of alpha?
So “adopting shapes” means doing alpha stuff. Doing alpha stuff means acting in a dominant manner. See, when Tyler grabs the two girls attention is because he is LOUD and demands their attention. He didnt run after them to tell them they are beautiful, or to tell them that he cares about them. He goes LOUD and is “look at me I am telling you what to do and expect you to react to me positively” which is 100% alpha and can’t be interpreted as anything else. The completely predictable reaction is that the girls turn and are amused and ‘feeling amazing’ because THIS IS WHAT GIRLS LIKE. If one of them hand’t reacted amazing and would turn more bitchy, then to that you react with another alpha shape, doubling down in snarky ness with a shit eating smirk, etc – the frame never goes to follower / caring / beta / tell me what to do, but a succession of Here, Now, Present, Dominant man who wants something and is directing the action. This is what Julien does and gets make outs in seconds, just by demanding it. Todd does it too in a very subdued way. Max does it while laughing is ass about it. Luke does it while being friendly and social and untouchable. These are ‘flavors’ with distinct personalities and emotional range but they all incarnate the same alpha, in command, frame, which is what pushes the button so the girl feels ‘amazing’. Why do they feel amazing? because they are getting exactly what they want.
Then – why do I use the phrase ‘swing your dick’. I had to understand my own body right now to come up with this: google “male flirting pose” and check images. You’ll find that a male flirting has the center of his body off balance, against a wall or putting the wall on a table or something, and with the legs open. When you’re telling stories, roleplaying, making jokes and stuff, your dick is actually swinging if you’re in this pose. Your body is relaxed, you’re being dominant and playful, your dick is swinging – which makes her feel amazing, because this is what she wants – that man.
All Im doing when Im interacting is increasing her perception that I am that man, because I am.
>> The more you are that man, the more you are that man.
>> The more you are not that man, the more you are not that man.
I’m not sure if this sounds familiar, Yohami, but I assume these are your comments. I was looking through some of my old notes from this past summer and I saw this… and they remind me of a “zen” version of what you and Tyler are talking about above.
Yeah that sounds like me