When I left this girl after our first date last Saturday afternoon, there was a spring in my step. I had that kind of smile that is an indication a man is “love drunk” on good chemistry. I wanted to see her again. She is 22. It was a great date. Tonight, we had another excellent date. And the date ended with her ankles in the air and my cock inside her. The first lay in my 2018 trip to daygame (once again) in Japan. +1 Tokyo.
And more than the lay, I think I have learned some things from writing this post.
It is a long, involved post… in large part as I give it a robust and very thorough “Yohami treatment”… using his comments from other posts to learn, to grow as a man of game, and to turn this lay report in something more meaningful than another story of conquest.
The featured girl here is Miss Surprise. I wrote about how I met her in my last post about some daygame dates. She was the second of three dates last week. Definitely my favorite of the three.
As that date ended, my body was flooded with chemicals and hormones. She had gotten under my skin. I like her very much.
The next day I woke up with the plan to work a bit and then to run some more street approaches… and maybe try to score a date for that night. I went to Starbucks to get some work done. I was getting a lot of messages from other girls, both new leads and girls I had met last year and pinged the night before… but it was this girl, in that moment in time, that I was most enthused about.
HER: Thanks for your lunch :)
This was from Miss Surprise after that Saturday date. It was now Sunday morning and I was responding:
NASH: Ohayo Pretty Girl
NASH: I had fun with you.
NASH: And you smell delicious.
She does. Again tonight, as well. And tonight it wasn’t just perfume.
Let’s say a girl has recently showered and is wearing some kind of product that makes her smell pretty… perfume, or lotion, or hair conditioner, or whatever. And you’ve had the kind of date where you end up peeling her clothes off. There is a certain point… where her smell changes. It’s not beauty product. And it’s not sweat or normal body odor either.
This is a specific thing. And wanting to document that smell is part of the reason I’m writing at this particular moment… I can smell her now… just minutes after she’s left my modern little apartment here in Tokyo. This is the kind of detail that is hard to remember, days later. But it’s one I can recall each time it happens with a new girl.
That “special smell” is not her pussy, or not entirely. It often seems to come from the back of her neck. I swear, it is especially strong as you get your face up near a girl’s nipples (like a nipple can give off a smell?). It’s got to be pheromonal.
Tonight, as I had her back at my apartment after our date… and I was just getting the seriousness of the makeout started… and I wasn’t sure if this was really on… that smell made it very hard to imagine I wasn’t going to fuck her. She wasn’t even undressed yet. That smell doesn’t always mean sex, but it usually does.
And that smell was right… I did fuck this girl. We’ll get to that.
Back to her and my text exchange:
(This ^ is a couple of hours later)
NASH: Did you just wake up??! You’re so lazy.
NASH: : ]
We went back and forth a few times, and she got a chance to call me lazy as well, and the vibe was good. We were sending gifs at each other and I was telling her that I thought that she was funny… in part, so she had some clear reasons why I liked her. I do like her.
More SOIs. More elements of the ill-defined potential of my interest in “Octopus Game” (I am still working out what that means to me).
NASH: Hey, Funny Girl…
NASH: When are you free.
NASH: Let’s be funny together.
HER: After school and weekend
She had told me this ^ before. I was looking for a specific time from her, but she wants me to make offers, not ask about times. Cool. I got it.
NASH: How about dinner tomorrow.. Or Wednesday.
HER: Tomorrow I have an appointment
NASH: You’re trying to tell me you’d rather see me tonight?!!
NASH: You miss me so bad.
HER: *crying/laughing emoji*
HER: Next week
Hmmm, okay. Chinese girls can be dry and practical in some ways, but that is not raging enthusiasm. I rolled off for a couple of days, ever so slightly wounded and insecure about the possibilities of seeing her again.
It still felt on to me… but I needed to give the affair some space and not crush the sparrow. I can see, in several elements of my game, that I am giving everything more room on this trip than I did last year… and it’s better game. Not being rushed by a short trip means you can run better game. You can let girls sit. It makes a difference.
Two days later I reopened, chatting about a big snowstorm that had come through the city and blanketed my neighborhood (and hers) with a half a foot of powder. We exchanged pics of the snow and I moved into the date set up.
NASH: Hey… Let’s get together.
NASH: How about Wednesday or Thursday? When are you free?
NASH: Let’s have some fun.
HER: Ok tmr
That short little reply… some small part of me took that as a lack of interest. But I was beginning to get the feel for this girl, and that’s just her way. It’s her no-nonsense Chinese style. And her difficulty with English. She likes me, she’s just terse via text. She has more sparkle in person.
I had been spinning plates… and stalling two different girls while I tried to get my favorites locked into choice nights, and get some “quality time” with them. Because I want the notch, yes. But also because I want the experience of being with those particular girls… there is a reason why I like them more than the other leads I have on the back burner. This girl is very cute by my standards. Not as objectively hot as some of the others, but I liked her the most.
I still do. More so. No one-itis here. But I have simmering feelings of attachment for her already. Not neediness, but appreciation and desire. It’s not a cold, calculating seduction… it has more juice than that… and it feels great.
I ran a solid, “cool” date tonight. I did a good job, more than making up for my first date of this trip (with Miss Hot Pic) where I made some logistical bobbles and made things harder for myself. I increasingly have my date routine handled and I’m running better game now.
Zooming in: I have been pushing myself to “know the territory.” I have been trying new restaurants/bars/cafes almost every day, trying to build a working vocabulary of places near my apartment for dates. I also know all the spots in my old neighborhood, which is a few blocks away (I have been taking dates there too). Men know their territory. It’s a huge advantage.
Today on a backstreet, I found a restaurant with a very limited menu. I checked it out anyway and… totally killer, cozy lounge. A+ vibe. Small, intimate, booth seats, no smoking, cocktails and a masculine interior, with a full bar. Apparently there is another like it in NYC. Imagine a small subterranean lounge at an old-school country club. Decorated with vintage photos of early American football players, hunting trophies and animal heads. No cigar smell to foul the place. Brilliant spot.
“This is why, before you can start to date women, you must be able to DATE YOURSELF! That’s right, DATE YOURSELF. Try going out to these places by yourself or with your friends first. This will: Make you more comfortable. You already know the place, are comfortable with it, and know what to expect.”
— Pook, from The Book of Pook
More from Pook in another post…
So I had her meet me at my local Starbucks. It was several degrees below freezing tonight, so I had to keep the plan tight so the extreme cold didn’t freeze my chances of some warm flesh and a notch.
As I spotted her outside of the Starbucks window, she waved and jumped up and down a little bit. Goddamn that was cute.
She was dressed in cool-kid, high-end fashion… just exactly like the wealthy Chinese kids that visit my city back home… and the girls that go to that art school, that has been a source of so many great experiences for me.
She wore all black. A complicated, but very cool jacket, over a sweatshirt thing. Black tights, with black shorts over them… which you couldn’t see, as the sweatshirt hung down to mid-thigh. Black boots that seemed modeled after riding boots, but more punk, and over the knee in the front. I am sure all of it was “designer” gear.
I was in black Vans hightops, black bootcut Levi’s jeans, a black tshirt, a plain, black, long sleeve Varvatos tshirt over that, my black scarf with the skulls on it, and a black waxed cotton jacket I only wear in Japan.
Both of us, head to toe in black. I told her we matched and she gave me a cute smile. I made her hug me. She is tiny and feels amazing.
We looked fucking great together… even though I am more than twice her age. We met in a high-end neighborhood in Japan, with each of us starting out in different countries… me, the United States, her, China… an unusual combination. And yet, a great fit. She is cool. I am cool. We’re cool together. Daygame was the medium that allowed something so unusual to happen.
I took her to dinner at this simple, but proper Japanese place, maybe 5 minutes from Starbucks. It was awesome. I have eaten there four or five times now. It is my local, go-to spot. Delicious, authentic, easy to get in/out of, not expensive at all… and close to my house.
On the short walk to dinner, we were joking around right away and she was giving me playful slaps on the arm. She did that on the date last Saturday too.
YOHAMI: “fake punching”
YOHAMI: Means you’re doing great.
YOHAMI: Girls punching you on the arm want to escalate physically, want more touch, etc.
That ^ is a comment from a post I wrote last time I was here. About another Chinese girl that was putting that same move on me during a date on last year’s trip.
After dinner I was asking Miss Surprise what kind of
cheesecake gelato she likes (I have some in the freezer of my place, for “plausible deniability“). She was bouncing along happily next to me, and was responding. I said, “I have…” and named three flavors… perhaps too subtly implying that I was taking her to my place.
She was right there with me, so I walked her along, winding back into the neighborhood toward my place. It wasn’t until we were maybe 50 feet from my door that she realized I wasn’t taking her to a business… but to my residence. She balked. No, no, she said. I coaxed her a bit. Resistance… I wasn’t sure how token.
So I walked her right past my door, teasing her a little, pointing to the light in my window as we walked by… and I took her to that “country club” bar I had found in my explorations earlier that day. I am glad I had a good spot prepared. Terribly cold walk… but not that far away.
We arrived at my bar cool…
I walked her down the stairs and… I tried to kiss her. She brushed it off. A look of seriousness and alarm on her face. As the stairs hit another landing, I tried again, I was more firm and she was more compliant. I had her against the wall and gave her a modest kiss on the lips.
Then… into that lounge. It was awesome. Only four other people in there, including the mellow, Japanese-hipster bartender and the skateboarder-looking waiter guy. Everyone was super cool. Drinks. This is the girl that claims to be a big drinker, but she was very reasonable behind the straw sticking out of her glass. She is a completely tasteful little thing, from a great family. Exactly the type of girl I want to date.
We left at 22:30, but I thought it was later. The staff was on the stairway closing up, so I pushed her into the elevator to get us alone and I gave her an aggressive kiss as soon as the doors closed. It was properly hot. I was impressed. One my best first kisses in a long time.
Then I walked her back toward my place, asking her how she was getting home. She said the train. I just kept walking to my place. The neighborhood is all little, twisty side-streets, I’m certain she had no idea which direction she was going.
She balked again at the main junction, very briefly. I repeated a line I had taught her on our first date… that I would “make sure she was comfortable.” And I said it as if I was a little outraged she would accuse me of anything unsavory. I said, “you’re all right,” and playfully rolled my eyes. She was trying to show me a pic of the Mercedes SUV her dad bought her… because I had just correctly guessed that she drove a Mercedes. She is that type. She was surprised at my amazing mind-reading skills.
She got antsy again as we turned the corner onto the tiny dead-end street where my apartment sits. I got her to the front gate. She said no, several times. A serious look on her face… with almost imperceptible flickers of amusement (which are easier to see in retrospect). She didn’t walk away.
I continued to try to put her into a trance that would help my aims… You’re alright, I repeated calmly. She said, what will we do? I said, listen to music. And?, she said. And talk, I said. And then what?, she said, feigning impatience. Talk a lot!, I said, with emphasis and a smile.
C’mon. I tugged her arm, in a light leading action, staring her in the eyes. And then it was her turn to roll her eyes in impatience, but… she walked through the gate. And for that moment, the false-struggle was gone.
My place, music, water. Her, suddenly mouse-like, sitting next to me on the tiny two-seater couch. My whole apartment is less than 200 sq ft… and the bed was six feet away.
I moved in to kiss her… and I got LMR. Of course I did. Because with some girls, it is just like that. She looked very serious. Again, I couldn’t tell how token it was. But I had a clue:
YOHAMI: All girls say and do has the ultimate motive of telling you what to do and how to seduce them.
When I originally approached her on the street, she was barely looking me in the eyes, often looking off into the distance. I almost walked away from her that day, thinking it was disinterest, but then… she would spit out an answer to one of my questions. And then look away… and then… show me a pic on her phone. In the freeze >> flight >> fight >> fuck spectrum of a girl in a dangerous moment, I think that is her “freeze” look… hoping against hope that the predator will just walk on by and her womb will be safe for another night.
As I write this post, I am starting to get that my goal should be to take her from that “frozen” look… to “aroused.” A lot more on that below. That is where this post is going.
Yohami’s comment above is from my story about Miss Nature… an odd, but interesting night I had with a virgin in my bedroom… but could never get her onto the bed. Could never get her to do much of anything. And… Yohami kicked my ass in the comments section of that post. I learned a tiny bit then… and I’m still trying to learn what Yohami is trying to say. And to expand his “stern read” of my game that night against the broader range of mastery and the reality that a player like Yohami can teach.
I will sample a lot from that post in the rest of this story.
Back to this date:
I have Miss Surprise in my pad, and I’m physically escalating her on the couch… and she was looking like a frightened rabbit… and I did what is normal to me, but goes against a lot of what is in the mainstream culture right now:
I heard her saying “no”… and I watched her closed off body language… but I tested the waters anyway.
As we discussed at length in my Janka/LMR post, I am perfectly confident this is often our job as men. It is a fucking balancing act. And it is not easy. And that is just the way it is.
She was giving me a serious look like I was in trouble. Or she was. Almost defiant, but in a relatively mild, hopeless way. Arms crossed in a X over her knees. Very closed off physically and emotionally… it would seem. But she was still looking at me. Very still, intense, and almost angry…
So I leaned back. The front door was five feet away from her, and I was not blocking her path. She had a clear route to escape if that’s what she wanted. This is “basic, legal/moral consideration.”
And I reviewed my options of what to do next. I didn’t ask myself “WWYD”, but I will do that now.
In the case of the story where most of these comments came from… the girl in that post (Miss Nature) was a shy, young, Taiwanese virgin, in my bedroom back at home, after a date. We had had a good date. I took her back to my place. We had made out a bit in the kitchen. And when I took her down the hall into my room:
“…she stops at the entry of my bedroom, and literally hugs the door jam. Like… fucking hugs the door jam. Like my doorway is a teddy bear for virgin Taiwanese girls that might otherwise get some cock for the first time.”
So she was another LMR story. Or as Yohami would clarify… “a resistance story.” I can see some parallels between my dates with Miss Nature and Miss Surprise.
In that story from last year, I was concerned for the girl. I wanted to fuck her. I was more than willing to “push”… but I also was interested in her level of comfort, as a very inexperienced girl with a dangerous man. As always, I want these girls to have good experiences. And I also want to get laid. Sundance has been pointing to some Captain Jack material lately where Jack wants us to be clear that the girl and you are often on the same team (or should be)… you both want sex. And yet Janka is right that there is a lot of tension in these moments. There is a lot going on here.
In the case of that date with Miss Nature, I was using very lame “verbal communication methods.” This is what we’re taught by mainstream culture, but that is shit game. It is safe, but repulsive. And that’s what I was doing. I was checking with her, verbally, to make sure she was okay and had a voice and all that…
NASH: I tell her she can leave anytime she wants
NASH: I told her over and over that she could leave anytime she wanted
NASH: and despite clear and consistent escalation from me, she doesn’t want to leave.
NASH: I had told her 100 times she could leave any time she wanted
From ^ the post.
I hadn’t read these comments in months, so they were not on my mind tonight when I brought Miss Surprise back to my apartment… except in the larger sense that I am learning from all this… and all the
beatings lessons Yohami has given me as he’s helped move me closer to Top Guy.
YOHAMI: She’s not there because she wants a way out – so offering it / repeatedly doesn’t make any sense
YOHAMI: Offer your dick instead, that’s what she’s there for. But she has to want it first.
YOHAMI: The way to find how / when she wants it is all the courtship and push pull that precedes it, aka flirting, talking, kino, etc.
Yohami was starting to get through to me in that post. In very small ways. As I have more experience now, I am now able to take in what he was trying to say months ago.
NASH: Yeah. This is right and I’m learning from this.
She is, or she is not, comfortable. But saying that over and over is not the tool for the job. Saying it doesn’t even make her comfortable. All I did that night by saying that the way I did was communicate that I couldn’t really read her. When I rely on the words, I’m missing most of the story. Not good game.
YOHAMI: The question is why? what made you say that.
NASH: Hmmm. Part of me likes this. I like it, as it deals with all the “mainstream culture” stuff. “Are you comfortable?” “You know where the door is, right?” “You can leave anytime you want, of course.” “You know how to call yourself a car, right?”
NASH: You can *wink* at her when you say all this… but this is basic legal courtesy. I don’t do this every time, nor with every girl. But with timid girls, brand new girls, any hint of craziness, I make it very clear.
This ^ was my thinking for a situation like this, from almost a year ago. There are still bits that I like. Particularly in a Janka-mindset of trying to escalate super hard… keeping an eye on the legal boundaries as a form of guidance. A “bare minimum” reference point. It’s a reasonable backup plan… assuming you don’t know what else to do.
YOHAMI: You’re moving on her which may make her uncomfortable so you want to balance things out by giving her a way out. Is that reading correct?
Yeah, that was what I was doing then. And I do a little bit of that again on this date.
For this post, Miss Surprise was acting something like “scared.” Her facial expression and body language were completely closed off. It was our second date, and first date after dark. Her first time in my place… I wanted to make certain she was clear of her options… but… I also want to do better than that.
YOHAMI: Let me ask a better question. When you’re telling her that she can go, and you repeat that framing 3-4 times, is she getting aroused?
YOHAMI: Are you trying to arouse her, or give her comfort? Which is it, and why?
YOHAMI: When you’re moving to her – are you pushing towards her, or pulling her into you?
This is where Yohami is beginning to make a dent in my thick-skulled consciousness. This ^ is at the heart of the rest of this post. This is magic is he pointing to here.
Okay… so I learned something with Miss Nature back then… that I was never going to offer the girl a chance to leave like that, not over and over, as a band-aid for my lack of skill as a seducer. Certainly not in combination with “pushing” her, and escalating in what is basically an uncalibrated way. I know I am very “socially tuned” in many ways, but Yohami is trying to show me how I need improvement at this particular stage. And I still have a long way to go.
If standard American pickup teaches to “escalate hard”… to “run the train,” as RSD Ozzy would say… we know that IS, in fact, sometimes better than being a pussy. Most “soft” guys, and beginners, need a little of that in the mix of their game. But it’s clearly not “great game.” It’s the “brute force” version of pickup.
YOHAMI: PRESSURE dude, no. No. No. No. No. No. No.
From ^ yet another post.
He has been trying to teach me this for months.
Instead of just sexually pestering her before she really “wants it,” and making her “pump the brakes,” what can we do that might get us to arousal? Why run my game in a way where she has to hit the brakes? Not because she doesn’t like sex… but because I am running less-than-sophisticated “Caveman” style game.
And it should be no surprise that girls don’t like that kind of game. And that cooler guys have shown them better game than that before. Caveman Game is what Ansari did in that now infamous story with the silly little “child” known as “Grace.” That girl was a dumbass… and Ansari was a caveman. No crime in either, but we can do better.
Caveman Game works… sometimes, at some level… maybe more so in the short term. It’s standard pickup advice, in many ways. But it’s ugly seduction. When I do stuff that is even remotely Caveman, it doesn’t help my inner game. It doesn’t make me feel like Top Guy.
Yohami is pointing to a level up. Yohami is pointing to Top Guy. I want to be a great seducer. I want to be Top Guy.
YOHAMI: The framework where you think that offering a way out is “comfort” is one where you are making advances that are not preceded by her arousal – she’s not going to say yes, so you give her a safe out in case she gets too triggered by you. This is bottom guy. This is pushing against rejection, and giving her the power to stop you, or run away.
Caveman Game is making her “use the brakes.” Caveman isn’t “beta,” but it is Bottom Guy.
One of my all-time favorite teaching lines from Yohami is this:
“That’s what I’m referring to when I say that you take the accelerator and let her have the brake, but then you drive in a way she never has to use the brake. She has control but is never required to use it.”
I’ve quoted that line many times. There is endless genius in that line. Watch me get more and more out of that line in this post (I get more from that line, every time I seriously revisit it).
And that line, my brothers… is our ticket out of Caveman Game. Caveman Game is my term, but I think what I am talking about works well with this comment from Yohami:
YOHAMI: What this ignores is what girls want. The girl is not a passive thing that you conquer. The girl is a hungry beast. Instead of pushing when she’s not ready and giving her a way out, move when she’s going to say yes and use her hunger for you and give her what she wants.
This stuff from Yohami used to drive me crazy… but I’m starting to get it. If you can read that line “one time,” and instantly apply it… good for you. I heard this a year ago. And I am just now getting it such that I can begin to use it “on the fly,” in real life situations with YHT.
Q: How do I move away from “tussle” and “struggle”… into “hunger” and “arousal?”
This ^ is where I want to put more of my focus in terms of what goes down at the “sex location” aspect of the model… in the moments before “first time” sex (or “anytime” sex, for that matter).
I haven’t even really tried to break down this moment before. Not at this level. We teach guys how to escalate, but not how to do it well. That leaves many of us clumsy, at the level of Caveman, or both. I have been both.
Writing this post is helping me see that “pushing” vs “pulling” distinction much more clearly. I can see it now. Maybe for the first time.
The question is not a choice between escalating vs being passive. Yes, we lead, we escalate. No doubt about that part. And it’s not about “verbally barfing your uncertainty” on the girl (“Are you comfortable??? Are you comfortable???”)… that’s not it either. This is about the possibility for sensitivity around pushing vs pulling. This is the lesson I’m after in this post.
If I can see that distinction… if I can begin to tune toward her “hunger,” and quit “pushing against resistance”… I am a better seducer, at an advanced level, instantly. And now… I just need to think a little harder about what that looks like in practice… in terms of specific moves to employ… for a given girl, in a given situation.
Back to Miss Surprise…
I think I had a good head start on doing some of what Yohami would have me do here. It took me a minute to get it going…
I told her I didn’t know her that well, and that I was happy to give her a break. I said all that with a big, smile on my face. And I did back off, way off, relaxing the scene, like a vampire retracting his fangs, in a moment of pause.
I told her how it’s my job to give her a good experience (I had been saying stuff like this all night, and I truly believe it all). And that our first date was a good experience and she agreed. And I said we’d been playful, and gave her a little shove. And she laughed an easy little laugh. I was getting good reactions. So even this… was giving her “more of what she wants.” It’s not sexy, but it’s on the right path… a path with no resistance.
The tension was gone (for a moment)… but so was the sexual vibe. I talked about how I taken care of her tonight, and she agreed again. And how this was playful too, and I made a big open gesture with my arms and she smiled.
In some ways, this sounds a bit like my date with Miss Nature again. All this verbal stuff. But the tone was very different. And I hadn’t created much resistance yet. And the main difference was… that tonight, this verbal pacing was NOT my only strategy. Tonight, I wasn’t going to “push” and then offer her a place to run if she wasn’t “aroused by pushing.” I was aware of more options than that.
"What I'm saying is, you can press, but she can pace it. She can say, 'yes, I'm interested, but not right now.' Often beautiful girls are very good at pacing. They'll pace you. They'll let you push, but they'll say 'I need more time, I need more time.'"
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) January 7, 2018
I can see better now why Yohami would think that “pushing” is low level game. When “we push, and she paces” (which in many ways is good advice, albeit at a “lower level” of game) there is some utility in that… but Yohami is going to nudge us even further into “advanced game” here.
YOHAMI: The way to find how / when she wants it is all the courtship and push pull that precedes it, aka flirting, talking, kino, etc.
If I read this correctly, Yohami is talking about a lot more pre-sex, “pre-foreplay” flirting. All highly calibrated, until she is so worked up, she will devour your attention as you move into sex.
I think Yohami means more “sexual negotiation,” more pre-sex seduction, at the level of the dance, and then sex flows much more smoothly, as “it’s already been decided.” This isn’t “covert,” but it’s unspoken and non-verbal… at the level of her turn-on… all of which is orchestrated by the seducer.
This was actually how sex was for me, when I was full AFC… as I was ONLY ever with girls that really liked me (by default, I had no skills with “maybe” girls at all)… and I took so long to ramp into sex that it was always a foregone conclusion when it was on the table. That model was unconscious, and far too passive. And I missed a million good experiences.
So to try to move toward arousal such that there is no (serious) LMR… to move into “Foregone Conclusion Game”… is a great plan. It’s very advanced seduction. But I’m not sure how to do that in combination with a fast-sex model? To run this kind of game… and sweep her off her feet at the same time? I know Yohami sees no conflict there.
I do, however, think I can work some of this into the way I currently escalate my dates… Maybe I don’t wait until she non-verbally “signs on the dotted line.” When Yohami says “it is all the courtship and push pull that precedes it, aka flirting, talking, kino, etc.,” that IS already happening in my current dates. Maybe I can improve there? Experiment more? Looks for the “more of what she wants” that leads to her arousal… in a more conscious way.
This is Yohami’s “ramp,” but from another angle. The “courtship and push pull that precedes it, aka flirting, talking, kino, etc.” IS “the ramp” into sex. I am starting to put this stuff together.
I don’t really get this yet, but I can point to an example of “experimenting” and “swinging my dick:”
On New Year’s Day, I had that Korean girl in my bed, and she was giving me something like LMR. And physical dominance wasn’t getting her to submit… or, in Yohami’s terms, it wasn’t arousing her. It was the wrong move for that girl, so she would hit the brakes. And each time I made her hit the brakes, her resistance would increase… moving us away from sex… not good “advanced” game.
But when I said, “spread your legs,” she would spread her legs. And that felt like a small breakthrough, at the time.
It’s not a choice of words over physicality (because it is just as often the other way around, with other girls, on other nights)… in this case, it was “trying something else,” aka “swinging my dick,” and I found what worked… at least somewhat (I didn’t fuck that girl). Instead of “pushing against resistance,” I had found something she responded to. And she spread her legs and I slipped my fingers insider her… things progressed.
By trying various moves, I was “screening” (Yohami will use that word in a comment below) for what worked for that particular girl.
We can try things… other things… “flirting, talking, kino, etc.”… other than repeatedly trying to pound our square “peg” into her soft, little, round “hole.”
“Try other things…,” that is a big clue. Sounds so simple, but it’s a struggle to put all this together. If you have experience, I bet you know what I mean.
NASH: How about this… what if I’m not quite calibrated to what her arousal looks like. This isn’t how I feel I am, but maybe this is true. That I can only see massive GREEN lights, and miss more subtle ones…
This ^ was/is exactly my problem, in some ways. I can react to “massive green lights.” And I can “push.” But what about that space in the middle?
Part of the deal here is… it is NOT a “one size fits all strategy.” It’s in an entirely different category (“framework”) of game than that. And no surprise, it involves calibration. If Caveman Game has little-to-no “advanced calibration,” Yohami Game shows us a way out of that. It gives us another way to read the seduction, and other options for how to move the girls toward a good experience.
A responsive “ramp.” One with subtlety. One that constantly bounces off of resistance very early on. Tries something else. Zero-ing in on all moments of arousal. Giving her “more of what she wants.” Until she is “gagging for it.”
NASH: I am trying to connect the dots between “offer her your dick instead, that’s what she’s there for” and what she is like standing there, looking nervous, coat on, big smile, but all defense.
NASH: Thinking about what you’re saying about not creating resistance, I could keep backing up. Trying something else, less of that kind of escalation, as I am getting that kind of display. Try moving her around.
I was starting to get the concept ^, even back then.
Back to Miss Surprise, once a again…
At this stage of the night I had got Miss Surprise inside, escalated, bounced off my old solution of making sure she was “comfortable.” But this time, I didn’t stay there. I was ready to experiment. I was ready to be more subtle… and more calibrated.
I had given her some space, and then tried to get back on my game. She went back to that serious look. I started “trying some things.” Little experiments, rather than constant brute force in the same direction. And this time, I got her to started to moan.
Okay. There it is.
Through a little experimentation I had found something that was closer to her sweet spot. That… and/or I had given her enough time (more physical and verbal “courtship”) to warm up into a racier pace.
More importantly… I wasn’t trying to “break through resistance.” I was looking for arousal. And I was doing a better job.
I pulled one arm up over her head to the back of the couch, and pinned it down, opening her up. And gave her a forceful kiss. This wasn’t about the “force,” that was just the flavor of the move. “Force” was just another experiment here. I was testing to see what she likes. I already knew she responds to that kind of dominance… I’d already kissed her like this on the stairs, and in the elevator, at the bar.
Arousal goes up when I give her “more of what she wants.” Surprise, surprise. She moaned some more.
I swooped an arm behind her back, around her tiny waist, and pulled her to me and the moan got deeper. Then… I backed off again. Turned down the lights. Gave us both a sip of water. In and out of it. Not too eager… I wasn’t too eager.
“This is the perfect place for you to look at it. Look at the difference of PRESSURE and PULL. When you unbuttoned her bra and played with her nipples, these things are actions that go in a direction and turn her on, you’re taking her where you want her to be, that’s a PULL. See how quicker she was assuming there was going to be sex, like multiplied by your leading force.”
This ^ is from a different post where Yohami was trying to clean up my game with Firecracker. And those words also stuck with me, nagging me to pay more attention and to be more subtle with these girls… and to notice what is working.
Miss Surprise was warming up, but she was still serious and quiet. This is also how she was when I approach her on the street. She isn’t always a “massive green light.” As I get more experience I can read these “amber yeses” better.
YOHAMI: Girls role is to put themselves in situations where you can make a move, and follow your lead. If she’s there standing with you and not running – she is helping with the seduction.
Now… with Caveman Game out of the way… this ^ applies again. If she’s not “on the brakes,” we can focus more on our role of controlling the accelerator.
So I knelt on the floor, pried her legs apart, and pushed my body between her knees. I pulled the hair on the back of her head to get her chin up and out of her chest… and I kissed her. Hard. And she moaned.
And that… was basically it. I’d unlocked “arousal.” There wasn’t much resistance to kill the vibe. I had her at the right level of arousal now, and she was ready.
I took her to the bed… and… I did all the things I love to do to young girls when I have the opportunity.
YOHAMI: Your job is to arouse her, and when you do, you double down. When you do it like that, you don’t find any walls – or you find walls but you don’t crash on these, don’t push forward against walls and rejection, you keep screening, swinging, and escalate / double down when she’s aroused and will say “yes”.
YOHAMI: To fuck a woman you don’t ‘tear down her defenses with sexual pressure and game’
YOHAMI: The woman will signal when she’s ready and when there’s no resistance.
A key phrase here ^ for me is this: “or you find walls but you don’t crash on these.”
This is part of the piece I was missing. When Yohami says you won’t see resistance, I couldn’t see how I was supposed to experiment and explore (=”swing my dick”) without ever seeing at least some “resistance” and/or something other than complete acceptance of each move. That is a frustrating part of trying to learn from Yohami, because it sounds like he thinks a girl should love everything you try… and that is not my experience… and that’s not what he is saying.
Everything being perfect is not his point. The answer is, you will get “little no’s.” Maybe even just changes in her look. Shifts in her energy. And you can still play there (that is all good feedback), but don’t “push.” Don’t fuck your night over by “creating resistance” with your pushing. That is Bottom Guy. You stay in the game, but change the experiment, as a point of calibration and mastery. That is closer to Top Guy.
Also note that word “screening.” “Swing your dick” is the first part of how we “screen” girls for what makes them respond.
YOHAMI: There’s zero pressure put on the girls, there’s nothing they could defend against – so they also have no defense for the arousal that they feel. The only pressure comes when standing up by your frame, there are a few iterations of that too. Pressure in the frames clash, but not pressure to get what you want from her.
So much here ^… I am obviously still trying to figure this out.
To go back to the “driving the car” analogy… maybe this is like her gripping the seat a bit (excited), but not so much that she is hitting the brake (wants to get out). Maybe that is the place where you tune your experimentation… with the goal of getting her back toward moaning and arousal and less death-grip on the seat?
Gripping the seat is okay… but if she’s on the brake, you’re doing it wrong. We “swing our dick” and look for subtle signs, both positive and negative, so we don’t see “hard resistance.”
The kind of LMR I am used to is about “hard resistance,” to some degree. Legal, but counterproductive to seduction.
The goal is not to “defeat the girl” but to arouse her. Stay in that zone. Over and over. Until she is clawing at you. Then… fuck the happy little thing.
I feel like I’m reinventing “making out” here. And it’s not because I don’t know how to makeout. Of course I do. When it goes well and it’s super on, we all know how. It’s when we have this “dance”… it’s that tenuous space of what we call LMR… where we don’t have much information or trust. This is where Yohami Game is helping me move to another level. Of not just more lays (and I believe this definitely means more lays). But a better time for both her… and myself.
Arousal > tussle.
YOHAMI: Each girl has an opening or several of them (pun intended) where there’s no wall and no rejection as long as you match what they want and require right there, if you can match it, they want it more and more and more
In this case, I think I finally got it… to some degree… for this girl… on this night. I was “swinging my dick” to see what she likes. And… as the Myths of Yohami have foretold… I found arousal and the LMR was gone. I didn’t do it with persistence, I did it with experimentation. I was screening her… across the range of the ways I like to “swing my dick” (it was still about me, I love everything I did to that girl).
The difference may be subtle, but it’s real. It’s masterful. I could feel it on that date. I’d never been that subtle before. And then…
She was naked.
She is 90 lbs. Nearly flat chested. And a total turn-on for a beast like me. What a hot little girl.
I was very much enjoying watching her move past being self-conscious about her body, and shifting into the physical pleasure I gave her as I sucked her nipples and raked my nails across her pale skin. She would moan. She would look at me. There was raging heat in her eyes, in her stare… but she let me move her in any direction I wanted. Resistance was… completely gone. She was enjoying herself. I loved it.
I took my time pleasuring her. Holding her down. Choking her. But also stroking her hair. And laying next to her… going more sensual. Telling her how beautiful her white skin looked against the black sheets on the bed (this place is decorated in a perfectly masculine way). And then, I’d get aggressive again. Eat her pussy. And come up and kiss her, and smear girl-glaze that started between her legs across her own mouth. It was hot. And it was easy to throw her around… she’s light as a feather.
And she said… “do you have a condom.” I think that is the first time I have actually heard that line.
I hadn’t even hinted I was going to fuck her, but of course we were well along that path. I was still fully clothed. I hadn’t pushed my dick into her, nor taken it out. And when she said that, I said… “hold on, I’m not done with you yet.” And I kept going, doing all the things I like to do. Even her pleasure is about me. It’s all about what I want.
And then… I walked the two feet to my closet next to the bed, in this tiny apartment, grabbed one of the world’s best condoms… and fucked her tiny, sexy, beautiful little body.
And the sex… was fucking hot. It was excellent first-time sex.
I did a lot of the things I do to Miss Thick, and they felt natural and smooth with this girl. I haven’t said much about it, but this girl looks like she could be Siren’s little sister… they are very similar (that’s part of why I opened her). So fucking her, she felt to me, like she was in the Sorority of my other favorite daygame girls. A Chinese dream team. It was a fresh experience, a beautiful one, and even so, somewhat familiar.
(In the way of “new” experiences for me… at one point, as I had her on her back, she reached up with both of her little hands… and choked me. Hmm. Never seen that move before. It wasn’t a turn on, not exactly, not at the level of my body. I’m a dom, and things like that aren’t what excites me. But at the mental level, I loved her for it. 90lbs of youth, naked and smooth, a tiny Chinese girl, with both hands around my throat as I buried myself insider her. Good girl.)
I tried to get her to stay over. Even picked her up and took her back into the sheets, wrapping her in the comforter and burning eye contact into her for a bit. If I like a girl enough (and I almost always do), it’s important to me that she knows I WANT her to stay over. I’m fine with it if she leaves, but I want her to have the feeling of being “wanted” post-sex. I do want these girls (like 90% of them), even after I get off. I wanted her to sleep with me, actually sleep. I told her that. And I wanted her to feel desired… that is a gift I want to give little girls.
But she was ready to go. I got dressed as well. Feed her a couple of strawberries I had bought at a local produce shop. As she got the second of her two boots back on, I pinned her to the door and we had a great last makeout of the night. And I walked her a couple of blocks through the freezing night, stuffed her in a cab.
As the cab pulled away she didn’t look back or wave… all I saw was the dark shower of her hair on her little shoulders and that fancy jacket. I had a tinge of insecurity that she didn’t validate me with that move, that lookback, which I love to see from girls. I am a sentimental retard sometimes, even now.
And I walked home smiling through the freezing dark.
As I write this… my fingers smell like that sour-sweet girl goo. I love that smell. It’s vulgar and satisfying. Hot night. I love his game.
Thanks again, Yohami.