Here is PART TWO of the Miss Athlete Story. It took about a week after “date five” (after the end of my last story), for us to finally have sex. And there’s more to it than that for me. This story has more about the LMR situation (another remarkable example). Some specific examples of female psychology. More examples of complicated escalation. And some notes on how we “make meaning” in our sexual encounters (which is a new theme that I have been thinking about).
And there is more about this particular girl. And that is often what makes all this fun for me… the exploration of the uniqueness of each of these girls. I like her. She has been fantastic.
In the last episode of Miss Athlete vs The Frustrated Monster…
I was pissed off that we were moving backwards. Yes, getting my cock in this girl was taking longer than normal, but I had been mostly having a great time. She and I were a good “fit,” so to speak. A natural match. She was turning me on and I liked the taste of her mouth. The dates were fun. It was a good deal.
As of date five, it was taking “too long” for me, only because she and I stopped moving forward. Despite my best efforts, we had “moved backwards” on that date.
And here on this blog, the guys have been talking a lot in the comments about these kinds of situations… and about “how many dates is too long?”
“I’d also suggest having a cutoff where if you haven’t had sex by a certain point, you write her off. It’s worth it for your own internal frame and sanity. For me it’s the third date.”
I think there is wisdom to that.
As I responded to my friend Magnum’s comments to me, it was an opportunity to think about this and work it out for myself. I came to a conclusion I like:
“It’s about arousal… which is not a ‘fixed point.'”
“If I can’t get her aroused… then I should cut her off. But if I can… play it from there.”
So this is my new standard. This honestly doesn’t come up that much… many dates but no sex… but I now have a new frame of reference when it happens again.
If I am turned on… and she is turned on… I’m probably willing to see her again (within reason). And up until the fifth date with Miss Athlete, we were moving forward, we were turned on, we were having fun… it was a good deal.
Date five frustrated me, because neither of us could get turned on at dinner that night. It is not ONLY about sex, but it is ALSO about sex. And I still don’t understand that night. I suspect that was something on her end… it remains a mystery.
Date five was, in fact, just dinner. And that surprised me. I basically assumed we’d at least go back to my place and makeout. But it didn’t happen. And she was too on about the “no’s.” And that wasn’t fun. So I left her that night without even trying to kiss her. I was a lot frustrated and a little bit bitter. That night after the date she messaged me with the sort of sweet, feminine, “validating” messages that are typical of her. I sent back only a picture (a bit of role play), but I had backed off of my usual more “passionate” frame.
I was disappointed with the date. And with her. I considered scrapping the whole affair, and pouring my efforts into more number farming and trying to find new girls. But I was still somewhat hopeful… she was still sweet… I still wanted to fuck her… and I was trying not to let my bitterness spoil any potential this relationship might have had for the future.
And it was to be another week until the scheduled date six, “the 19th,” when we’d see each other again. That was the date she had originally proposed (almost two weeks before)… that I had rejected. I pushed for more, and sooner. And we saw each other on Feb12, for “dinner only.” That was my frustrating date. And now I was potentially looking at another week until I saw her again.
I knew I could do better than that… possibly. That I could probably find a way to see her before Feb19. I also thought I had a fairly uncomplicated connection with this girl… we genuinely liked each other. I didn’t want to “over-tussle” a good thing. I wanted to get us back on track. Get us back to where we’d left off on date four.
I got my haircut the next day, and sent her a picture of me, from a long time ago, with a shaved head. It was some call-back humor from a story I told her on the Feb12 date. I knew she’d get the “joke.” And joking would be a change of vibe. It was some fresh air. And she liked it. I sent her a pic of a guy with a mohawk… she laughed. We had upward momentum. She was sunny and buoyant. I took that opportunity to see if we could move forward. I mentioned the 19th, and asked if she could see me before then…
This was Tuesday, Feb13. She came back with:
HER: What are you doing tomorrow night??
HER: I will finish the work tomorrow at 19:00.
HER: Or after work on 16th?
Okay. So, I still don’t know what “the 19th” was ever about. She offered me that on Feb07. But I got her out on Feb12. And now she was offering me Feb14, or Feb16. I don’t know why these dates became available at this point. But this “availability” was how she and I started out… wanting to see each other… and it was organic and easy. “The 19th” was a wild card.
I do think she felt the change in my vibe on that last “dinner only” date. I had given her some mild “coldness” which was unlike me, and I think she noticed. And that this was her “restarting” our original pace. I think she was invested too. And she didn’t want to ruin it either.
So… Feb14, as we know… is Valentine’s Day (even in Japan). And I didn’t realize it at the time, I just agreed to her suggestion. I actually had another date scheduled for that night with a Japanese Mormon Virgin, so I did something I rarely do… I postponed that one, to have this night with Miss Athlete. I like her more than the Mormon girl.
On Feb13, I went by a restaurant, and made a reservation for Miss Athlete and me for Feb14. I then went next door to a different restaurant, and made a second reservation for myself and the Mormon Virgin for Feb15. Both places, a short walk from my house. Logistics, locked… for both dates.
DATE SIX with Miss Athlete started simple and seamless. A nice dinner. Afterwards, to Family Mart, for another of my favorite candy bars. She didn’t have an early start the next day, so she came back to my place for some gelato. And… we didn’t have sex.
I told you… it was seven dates. But we did “move forward.”
I did get her naked, but it was a major “fight” (a loving, playful fight) to get her clothes off. I was focused on arousal, and we had her very turned on, but it was a slow, drawn-out process of getting to her skin.
She had come straight from work, and was salty from the classes she teaches and the exercise of her day. I had been licking the salt off of her. She had been saying she was too dirty to go further. I had offered the shower. She would decline. I would go back to escalating. Arousal, arousal. We’d inch forward. And as I finally got her pants part way off… she said:
HER: If you want to do this, we should shower first.
And she said that with an enthusiastic smile. As if the shower was her idea. I was surprised that she said it… after so many “no’s”… I had expected she would run off for home at some point… but she always seemed happy and we continued… no indication she was tired, or that she was going to “use the brake” on the escalation, or that she needed to go home.
There was very little “pressure” here. We were having a good time… what I call “high school sexuality”… it was fun. I was just about arousal… and it was a great place to operate from. A low-stress position for me. Arouse… and escalate when she’s into it. “Simple.” (It’s not simple at all… it’s hard!) And eventually, she asked for the shower.
If all this ^ makes Yohami smile, knowingly, I wouldn’t be surprised. Yohami said it would be like this.
But she was very shy about getting naked. Very shy… she made me leave the bathroom so she could get out of her pants and underwear. I left the bathroom door open, and stood a few feet away, watching her undress… and that was weird and hot too. And she was shy about showering with me. But she did it. And her body was fantastic. All of it was very comfortable and normal for me… even her nervousness.
When we got back in bed, I teased her some more, and she was sopping wet after a time. I ate her pussy… because I love eating pussy. And even then, it was part wrestling match to get her to spread her thighs. There was LMR at every stage with this girl. She was enthusiastic — every time — when I’d “win” a little battle and move things along. And she would smile more and more with each new round of resistance…. with each of my new victories.
She actually seemed to relax, to be noticeably less nervous, every time I won a “battle.”
And it turns out she is a squirter. It was mild, but it happened. She gave the pillow I had under her hips a mild soaking.
And then, after a generous tongue lashing and the wet pillow… I got up and grabbed a condom. I came back to bed and… and she gave me a sweet, but confident “no” to sex.
I was very surprised. I almost never see girls go this far and not fuck, but she seemed certain and real about it. I took her seriously.
“I have never understood why girls will refuse sex even when you both have your clothes off, you are touching her intimate parts and she is touching yours. I have sometimes performed oral sex on some girl, with fingers inside her, and she has still refused sex. And sometimes we have slept in the same bed, but nothing. At that point I have to wonder, what are they protecting? What are they preserving? Their dignity, after that? ”
— Tenet, from the comments of my last post
Tenet posted that comment after I had fucked her, but before I wrote this post. So of course, his words caught my eye. I feel the same way. And Riv liked his comment, too. Yeah. I don’t know why girls do this… but I’ll guess at “why” later in this post.
I wasn’t mad. And I wasn’t frustrated. But it was a bit awkward. It was confusing… I’m with Tenet on this one. And I rarely see girls do this (although the Korean girl did this with me also, on New Year’s Day this year).
So I climbed on her chest and stuffed my cock in her mouth. She resisted that as well, for about three seconds, before she eagerly took me in. And then, after a bit, rolled onto my back and she finished me off and I came in her mouth. It was not what I assumed would happen, but it WAS a brilliant orgasm.
And then… she spent the night. A that was also a bit awkward… without the sex. And… she didn’t sleep “close” to me. She didn’t lay on my chest or show me much warmth. She was a little stiff in bed all night. I tried to get more intimate, as we had slept great together on our nap on date four… but this time, not really. I wasn’t sure what to make of it.
And then, at 5 AM, her eyes popped open. I could feel her move. And I woke up. And I tried to snuggled into her a little… and I dozed… but it was clear she was not sleeping, just lying there, stiff and awkward. So I asked her how she was, and she was polite, but I could tell she wasn’t super comfortable. I asked if she wanted to go home, and she said she did. Okay.
So at 5:10 in the morning, I walked her through the darkness of Tokyo to the train. It was crazy early, and I hadn’t slept much, but it wasn’t a bad walk. I nursed a little bit of conversation along, as we walked. I kissed her again. And she went home. And I walked back to my place.
And I assumed… that I might not ever see her again. I assumed that she didn’t like it. I thought about all that as I walked home.
My life is about me. My seductions are about me, they are FOR me… not endlessly trying to please the girl or anyone else. But of course I want to read the situation. And the post oral sex stiffness of the sleepover didn’t feel ideal.
What kind of meaning would we both make from that kind of awkwardness?
I can’t control what a girl does, or how she feels, or the meaning she makes from sexual acts. I was confused. But I was okay with it. I have experience being confused in moments like this… I think most players do. And I had the date with the Mormon Virgin lined up for that night. And other girls in the queue. And I was gaming a lot. My phone was full of leads.
And I told myself that it was all “experience.” And it was. It was not a bad feeling… a little confusing… I felt a little awkward… but I accepted it. And if I never heard from her again… okay. So be it. I had had an amazing blowjob, but maybe the “beautiful relationship” had lost its luster.
And then, a few hours later, after the sun rose:
HER: Good morning Nash.
HER: Thank you for yesterday!!
HER: Very special day
HER: I was nervous­.
HER: I was comfortable & fun with you!!
Hmmm. That was all unprompted.
And I take her comments literally. Who knows how she arrived in that state, but I believed her. That was how she felt when she sent those messages.
But the interesting part for me was… as she gave me this kind of positive feedback, I was immediate back into “the relationship” with her. I bounced back, emotionally, in that instant. I am referring to my own “emotional reactiveness” when I point this out. I’m not disappointed in myself… I’m just fascinated by my own psychology sometimes.
The stiffness in bed, the odd wakeup, and the early exit from my place felt like her having made a decision that it wasn’t “right.” And it had been a bit awkward for me, so that morning, while I hadn’t given up… I was ready to accept that it might be over. You could say I was confused but “unattached.”
And now, with these comments from her after the sun came up… the meaning changed for me yet again. Another wide, emotional swing. It felt good (and safe) to embrace the potential of her, of the idea of “us,” once more.
I am not trying to present how tough I am here. Obviously. I am trying to be real.
It is a part of my sexual education right now, to watch “the meaning” of sex become “created” as I have experiences with these girls. And I’m curious to see what I can do to influence that “meaning.” And in this case, her behavior in that early morning made the meaning “short term, odd, non-intimate” for me. That was my read. I emotionally withdrew a little, as I considered that I might not ever hear from her again. And then her warm texts a few hours later… changed the meaning for me back to “romance”… again.
Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.
It was the same experience… but the meaning was “flexible.” It could change. It did change. Sex is like this.
None of this was about my self-worth. This was only about the “meaning” of the little “romantic art project” that was her and my relationship. And it was fascinating to watch my mind bounce back and forth within a few hours. I have a lot of experience… but this still happens to me.
And I replied:
NASH: I think you’re a very sexy girl.
NASH: And you’re cute when you’re nervous.
HER: Thank you :)
HER: Nash is cool :) [thumbs up]
We exchanged some more texts that day about trusting each other… I was trying to set that frame. It was all back on. And it felt very good.
Here I am… a middle-aged daygamer, bouncing around, with some cute girl, in a foreign country. This is how I spend my life. And… I like it. Fascinating.
And then I had an very interesting date with the Mormon Virgin that night. I’ll write about that soon…
And when I got home, more texts with Miss Athlete. We were cute and happy with each other.
Then, the next morning, Friday:
HER: I have free time tomorrow lunch time.
HER: If you have free time,
HER: Will you go for lunch with me tomorrow?
She is initiating. We looked to be “very on” again. This is a happy girl.
And if you recall… at that “dinner only” date, I had told her to do exactly what she was doing here.
This is what I wrote in my last post:
“I gave her another pointed look, and told her that when she really wants to see the monster, she has to take out her phone (and I mimicked her doing that), and message me and say… ‘I really want to see the monster!’ I was trying to train her.
“I wasn’t begging. I was trying to lead.”
And here she was, a few days later, doing exactly what I told her to do. I have tried this with girls before… and it certainly doesn’t always work out… she may not have remembered the conversation at the “dinner only” date… but here she was… telling me she wanted to see me and when she was available… I like this from her. Of course.
And I set up what would be date seven.
DATE SEVEN. We met for lunch. I took her to the same place I took her for date one. And it is close to my house. I asked her to come back for tea, and she agreed. We had another of those great chocolate bars on the walk back to my apartment.
At my place… I made tea… and then… dragged her to the bed. Great, sexy makeout. Each time, we would start off about where we left off the last time, so this time the sexuality was coming faster and… somewhat easier.
But taking her pants off was completely ridiculous.
I had to hold her right arm behind me, behind my neck. While I laid my weight across her chest, and pinned her left arm down to the bed with my left hand. Then, with my free hand, I had to work to tug her tight jeans off and over her hips… as she fought me, vigorously. And she had her legs locked at the knees, the whole time. So at one point, I had her pants off her hips, all with one hand (which was insanely difficult, as she struggled), but they were gathered at her thighs, and above her knees… ridiculous.
What does a guy do in this situation? Is this normal? I think some of it is “normal.” This is crazy LMR… but in a fun, playful way.
My ex, the Tokyo Queen, would also sometimes require me to “wrestle.” At first I didn’t like it. I thought it was all bullshit and irritating. At some point I realized she liked the fight. And I just gave it to her, and she would struggle and say “no”… that girl said “no” every time I fucked her… and we fucked for over two years… and then… she would submit. She loved sex.
In this case, Miss Athlete struggled. And she laughed a lot. And told me no. And said, “finished, finished!!” several tiems. And… eventually released her legs… and I pulled the jeans off and onto the floor.
This was all mixed with making out, purring, her getting turned on. Me backing off, giving her space, letting her moan. But in that final push, I just fought her for the pants… and I won. And she laughed. It was epic, but completely token resistance. Once she was naked, she surrendered pretty quick.
More oral sex for both of us. And then… I got the condom again. And she said…
And she used my name, for extra weight. She said, “Nash, no.” Wow. LMR. Again.
And she had a hint of a smile, but she seemed pretty serious. I opened the condom wrapper, using my mouth and one hand. And pawed her with the other hand. And I made her suck my cock, which she did, and it was wonderful. And I got between her legs, and she said “no” again. And I said, “are you sure… you look ready to me.” It wasn’t really a question. And I put the condom on. And I looked at her. I was serious. And she was going back and forth, from “95% serious” to “75%” serious but with some obvious play in her look. But it was mostly “no.” She said, “no sex… next time.” And she looked serious. And then she smiled, a tiny bit. And I push my cock against her… and I saw her eyes relax… and I buried my cock inside her… and she completely surrendered.
How’s that for LMR.
In some ways this is an extreme case… and in some ways… this is completely normal. Welcome to sex. Not always… but very often… it is just like what I describe above. At at least for me. I see this all the time.
And this story is edgy to write. And there was a flash or two when I thought she was actually, completely serious… but I mostly knew she was not. Don’t ask me how. I could just “tell” that I was supposed to keep going. For me. For her. For the seduction. That… is what sex is like for her. That it what it was like for us.
I can’t tell you what to do. Your situation may be different in important ways from mine. But in this case…
I fucked her. +1.
And it was great sex. It was very good. Excellent first time sex. And it had a LOT of the “romantic” bits in it… as we had had so much lead-up. So much eye contact. We sort of “knew each other” by now, and we put a lot of that into the fucking. I fucked her in about 10 different positions. And then finished insider her, while kissing her. And it was hot and beautiful. She was very into it. So was I.
After all that… a wonderful experience.
As we showered, I talked with her about the resistance. And she smiled. She smiled like I had specifically passed an obvious test. I said, “you said ‘no,’ and you used my name, and you looked like you meant it…” And she gave me a cute, girlish smile… with a light gloss of “evil” to it.
The cute, bad, complicated, delicious, little-mature girl.
And then I mentioned how she had squirted on date six… and that that was a surprise to me then, as I had tried to talk to her about squirting maybe two different times, and she specifically acted like she didn’t know what I meant. But… she is a squirter. She knew exactly what I meant in those moments. And I told her that… and she just smiled again.
Bad. Confusing. Beautiful. Awesome. Adorable. Sexy.
So much of it was a kind of test… or a kind of game. Making me grow as a seducer. Making me reach to know more about women. This girl is not malicious. This was all a major shit test… sort of. I assume it was partly subconscious… she really is shy. She really was nervous, so many times. And part of it was definitely intentional… like bullshitting me about the squirting. She was definitely faking me out along the way.
I think I definitely could have fucked her on date six. I think so. And maybe on date three? But I doubt it. And the difference was… I needed a few dates to “get to know her,” so I could tell when she was real, and when she was faking me out… toying with me… doing her part of the seductions… layering in chaos to make the game richer.
Hmmmm. I don’t know. But I’m learning.
And I said something to her about how it was amazing I got her pants off. That she did almost everything she could to make sure I didn’t get them off… but I did. And she agreed. And I said a lot of guys would have quit. And she smiled. I said… a few years ago I would have quit too. And she smiled some more.
“But you liked it.” “You were very turned on.” “You wanted to fuck me. ”
So I said, “next time, I assume we’ll just get naked like grownups,” and her eyes got big and she said, “Nooooooo, next time, it starts alllll overrr!!!” And a huge smile. She was excited. And happy.
The “fucking game” is a big fucking “game.” Amazing.
And I kissed her. And smiled back. I’m okay with all this… this is what I signed up for.
She had work that night, so I walked her to the train… and then met the Korean Princess… but that is another story, as well.
This whole thing actually happened.
Amazing. I am amazed.
DATE EIGHT. I know this was about sex on the seventh date, and that is what happened. But here is what happened on the next date… the infamous Feb19th date that had been discussed 12 days and three dates earlier.
We met in the afternoon. We went to lunch. Then to the fish market… as a little adventure. Then my house… and we had smooth and beautiful, no-struggle sex. All the “testing” was over. We got naked, and fucked, and it was hot. And we laid around after. And then I took her to dinner.
The night was chill, charming, comfortable.
Back at my place, we were both tired. We showered again (she always showers before bed). And we put on a movie. And we fell asleep before it was 1/2 over. And she slept close, and intimate this time. Like that was how it had always been.
And in the middle of the night… I woke up, kissed her hard, we were both instantly hungry for each other, and then I fucked her once more. And it was hot, middle of the night, new-lover sex. Super hot. Totally natural. And we slept like babies after that. No 5 AM wakeup this time.
And in the morning… I took her to breakfast, and then sent her off to work.
She was officially my lover. This was something I had presumed, after she and I napped together on date four (the day of her period). She has quickly become a kind of “short term girlfriend,” but in the richest way. She is wonderful.
What do I think of all this? I think if you fuck a lot of girls… you will see a lot of things you haven’t seen before.
I am having more experiences now than I ever have in my life… but the surprises are still coming. This is what building mastery looks like. There is no shortcut to gaining all the reference experiences that lead to really, really, really knowing women. So we pick off experiences… one bizarre combination after another.
And there are patterns. And our experience matters. And we do get better. But these many girls are all a little different. This one is a lot different. And she is a great one. A special one for me.
I am having a wonderful experience. She is having a very good experience. This is me, hitting my “goals”… this is what I want. This is what I want for the girls I bring into my life.
When I wrote the “frustrated monster” post, I didn’t not know this was going to happen. I sort of assumed the worst. That was real too.
And I have a LOT of unpublished writing… other stories that I never published, because there was no “part II.” Where there was only fractured romance and fragmented meaning. The girls, perhaps, “ghosted” on me… and I ghosted on the those stories.
But sometimes it works out. Sometimes, at the end of the movie… the guy gets the girl.
It’s been a beautiful little romance. Strange, and nearly exhausting…but wonderful. What an adventure.