TYO: I Slapped Business Girl’s Ass
It was my third and likely my last date with Business Girl. I did rack up a bunch of new reference experiences, even if I was self-defeating and less than slick in the process.
She has a puzzle, as Yohami would say, but I could not figure out how to unlock it. In retrospect… Maybe I should have talked about business the whole time? That’s not what I did.
The first date with Business Girl was a rather stiff date. She is a very cute girl, but fast and choppy and harsh. Uptight. Bossy. She moves too fast. There was no vibe, no sexuality. She is a fine woman, well-raised and high-quality, but is missing that element of grace that the most delicious women possess. She has never lived in America, but seems remarkably Western, which is not a compliment.
She is feminine on the outside, but rarely in how she acts, which is where it counts. I saw it, several times, but only when she would talk about her bosses (whom she clearly admires), or when I would bust her for something, blow away one of her frames, or surprise her… Which I did often enough.
I did see the cute side of her.
Leading up to the second date we had this exchange which shows a lot of her character.
HER: Okay what is the name of restaurant?
NASH: You don’t like surprises??? : ]
NASH: I am not going to tell you.
NASH: I will say it is cool… Not really Japanese style.
HER: I’m not big fan of surprise but okay
HER: I will wait
If you are into feminine women, and I am, that kind of showing from a girl is probably a red flag.
Second date was better. I talked about sex, and she would say she doesn’t talk like that, and I would laugh at her, tell her we were both grownups and I’d carry on… And she’d cave. She would smile and laugh and be soft… For like 30 seconds. She flipped through the menu endlessly as she tried to process her sexual energy when I told this one mild sex story about me and an ex girlfriend.
At one point she went on and on about how she doesn’t hook up (my words, not hers), and I used that to talk about how there is no such thing as a “nice” girl. And how sex is natural and good, and only bad when it’s used as currency. “I don’t judge.” Etc. And eventually she caved again. Came alive briefly, told me, “of course, I love sex” with real enthusiasm. She said something like that to me at least twice.
But she would insist that sex is only “with a boyfriend.” If that was what I was looking for I would have to try someplace else. She is a traditional Japanese girl. Blah blah. I told her I knew that was bullshit. That sex is not the “end” of getting to know someone, it was part of getting to know someone. And that I never wait long. She took most of that pretty well.
On the way downstairs to my beer bar, I tried to kiss her for the first time, and she never even let it get started. Totally defensive about the whole thing. Pulling away dramatically, telling me no. Smiling, but good defense on her part. I laughed and pushed her into the bar.
Another thing to mention is that she gets picked up during the day often enough. She had a card in her hand as she met me for this second date, some guy had just stopped her. I assume it wasn’t direct, as she didn’t seem clear what it was about.
She has another story about being stopped by another white guy, three dates with him. It’s a strange story, but he never tried to kiss her or make a move. I asked.
And she has yet another story about what sounds like a solid pickup from another white guy. A few dates. On his last night she spent the night in his hotel, but she said she never took off her bra, shirt or panties. Cuddled, she said. Decide for yourself if you believe her.
After drinks, as we walked back up the stairs, I tried again to kiss her. Same defense, but she was laughing more this time. And said, “easy tiger.”
I liked all this. I thought I was making progress. I assumed the no sex thing was front, like most girls. And that she would drop it eventually. I still assume that is true.
I had her book us a reservation at this well known seafood place that she had recommended. That was to be the the third date. A Saturday, sleep over potential.
As we meet up, she looks pretty hot, like always. Dressed sexy, long silky dress, bare shoulders, with some kind of thing tied around her neck, which she knows I like.
But as she arrived she was all business, barely glanced at me, turned on her heels and marched off to the restaurant. No grace from this one. I really don’t understand why she shows up at all, if that is her attitude?? I think this mostly has nothing to do with me… this is just who she is.
I grabbed her arm and stopped her in the street as the crowd passed us by, “Hey, slow down, this is Saturday night, let’s relax and have a good time.” She was the tinest bit harsh for one second, and then looked like a challenging little girl with her dad… Amused, but in her place.
At dinner I talked about how she is “all shell,” this hard, unattractive exterior. But that from time to time I could see her soft side. I said I respect her smart serious side, her interest in her career, but that I thought her shell was boring. She blinked when I said that.
I want to try a new place she knows of for a drink, and she was walking up the stairs to that bar when I slapped her ass. She spun around, did a perfect impression of an angry woman, and marched into the bar.
I will say here I was completely uncalibrated. That ass slap was some kind of Hail Mary (football reference) on a rocky date that was all struggle. If it was supposed to be some kind of punishment, it has no context. It was certainly not sexual. It was lame on my part, and I get it. I barely know why I did it, just that her ass was wiggling in front of me and we were all struggle so I gave her proper swat.
It wasn’t cool. And it won’t honorable. And it wasn’t game.
This might be what Krauser calls “redlining the car,” but in this case I pointlessly over-revved the engine. Flipping the car for no good reason other than to see it roll over.
That should have been it. I was blown out and I was surprised she stayed. And while she did stay, she did not talk. I earned myself a brutal session were I had to plow endlessly and she gave me barely polite one word answers. It sucked.
I thought about walking out (which I’ve never done in my life), but part of me wanted to test my discipline and see if I could hang in there. I’d put myself in a weird position. Maybe I could learn something if I stuck around. It couldn’t get worse. I was hunting for reference experiences at that point.
I didn’t apologize. I didn’t bring it up. I wanted to ride it out, just as it was, even if I wasn’t proud of myself. I knew backpedalling wouldn’t help anything, so I played through.
The scene was tense, and I didn’t want the beer in front of me. With this night a bust, I thought I might go out after she and I went our separate ways — which I assumed was already overdue — and I wanted to pace my alcohol if I would be at a club later.
We weren’t even half done with our drinks and I decide to put a bullet in this limping horse of a date. I told her she looked bored and that we should go, and she agreed. It was her turn, so she paid for the beers we didn’t drink.
I was over it. That ass slap was a bad, meaningless move on my part, but regardless of who’s fault it was I was ready to get away from this date.
We are walking along and I was not bothering to hold up conversation anymore, just leading us back to the station in silence. And then she says:
HER: So, where are we going?
See that? This is why I stayed with her back at the beer bar. I had a feeling something like this might happen, and I wanted to see what it was like. She still wanted to be on this date. Fucking amazing. I think I knew this might happen, but only from reading other stories like this one.
Despite her interest, I tell her I am happy to walk her back to the train. I got what I was looking for by staying, seeing that sometimes girls want to stay even when you’ve pissed them off. That is a valuable lesson. But that didn’t mean I actually wanted any more of this girl and her cold shell.
So then she mentions this bar I know she will hate, but she says she wants to try it. It’s on the way home so I take her on a quick tour, have to pry a couple of drunk Japanese guys off her as we push thru the shoulder to shoulder crowd. She doesn’t even notice me do that, as she never looks back at me, just goes where I tell her to go with an irritated little stomp. We get out of there as fast as possible.
Outside I keep going toward the station, and she mentions yet another bar I know she’ll hate, so I tell her I’m not taking her there. Then she brings up this nice bar she had recommended to me a week ago… she really wanted to stay on this date… that’s a lot of ideas…
I actually want to try that place. I want to scout it for other dates, so I agree. I’m back into the date, blowing off the idea of going to a club.
On the elevator up to this last bar, we are alone, and I lean back against the wall and tell her, it’s cool, she can kiss me now, no one is looking. And she goes back to defense, and I tell her I know she wants to, she should quit pretending she doesn’t. Cocky grin from me. She is half bitch, half amused.
The bar is a special place, in a special city. Nice, fancy drinks, and an incredible view. High class, and almost comfortable. Not a good makeout bar, but I could add this to my list of places I know. Mission accomplished. I now have a new restaurant and two new bars to add to “my territory,” so at least I got something out of this shitty date.
Mid-drink, she brings up the ass slap, saying I crossed the line. She is not mad at this point, just talking about it. I look her in the eyes, and say, “I want to take this opportunity to say I apologize.” She is flat and even, tells me no one has ever done that to her before, but it’s obvious she is over it. So am I.
I asked what she likes about me and all she said was that I am good with conversation. I’m not saying this girl likes me much, but I don’t believe that answer entirely. Not after I tried to kiss her so many times on the second date. She knows what’s up, I just failed to unlock her, so nothing went down on this date. Hmmm.
My voice hurts as I’m still recovering from my cold, so I say I want to leave. In the elevator, I try to kiss her again, and she is a mix of laughing and defense… We are not even close to being in that space, but I tried.
I make her share a cab with me, and my place is first, so I tell her to come have desert with me, to which she says no. I try to kiss her once more. She is smiling and enjoying the date, but still won’t kiss me.
I get out… And walk home.
I think I learned from these dates, got more experience. But she sucks. After the second date I thought she might loosen up, but it never happened. Why she kept coming out with me, I have no fucking idea.
I won’t contact her again. Game over.
And I am glad I slapped that ass… Just for the story. Although next time I do that, I am going to have a good reason.
Ugh… pulling teeth bro. I feel ya. Mostly think those business girls (especially the Asian ones) are a lost cause. It’s impossible for you not to get a general idea of someone’s personality over the course of 3 dates. Ask… do you really wanna deal with that stick up the butt behavior for an extended period of time? I’m not saying go for the low hanging fruit, but shit… don’t make your life hard on purpose.
Yes, yes. I don’t need that kind of behavior… I really hoped she’d “crack,” settle down, surrender, and show me a better side. I have seen that before. But that’s not what happened.
She was the 2nd girl I got out when I got here… so I didn’t have a lot of options then. She was a part of my early momentum on this trip, and in that way, she was a very good thing. I’m still proving to myself I can build a girl tornado from scratch… but at this point, my tornado is looking good, I can “level up” away from girls like that. Last nights date… not as cute as that girl, but a really great experience and nice little makeout, first date, no problem. Much better experience.
But the most interesting thing that happened to me yesterday, was hanging out with Stealth. We met up briefly and he talked with me about his experience with game. He opened my eyes quite a bit. Very nice guy, with a lot of unbelievable experience with women.
One thing he said was that he gives a girl about 45 mins to prove she is sex worthy, often this is all same day. I won’t say I know exactly what that means for him, but compare that to my two weeks, three dates, seven venues… ha. We agreed that he and I are living in different realities.
I am not opposed to dating, and Stealth has a skillset and lifestyle that would be hard to match most places in the world. But in terms of what we are willing to “deal with,” I am coming around to having enough options to have less patience with this. And more experience to spot a dead end early.
Too many great girls in my funnel and in general to chase ones like that.
Well it’s obvious from the amount of words you put down that you wanted it bad… but since I’ve been running game (bout 3 years now) almost every single bang I’ve gotten was same night, so it’s a little hard for me to imagine putting that much effort in. Not that I’m doggin on your hustle tho!
That’s a solid comment, man. Appreciate it.
I am still learning. And I have some old “bad habits” to outgrow. Cheers!
>> Well it’s obvious from the amount of words you put down
This comment has been in my head since you posted it… making me laugh. My wordiness has nothing to do with this girl.
I always put down a lot of words. In person, too. I could say/write 10,000 words about having nothing to say. : ]
Great read bro!
Yeah I’ve been through numerous shitty experiences of dating a girl three times and the girl using me for a free meal – and then proceeding to disappear into thin air. So much that my tolerance level dropped to such a level, going to a cafe is already a HUGE investment.
We decide whether we wanna bang the girl within 3 seconds of seeing her. The girl pretty much makes up her mind quickly too. Hence waiting till D3 to make the move makes no sense at all. I’d even go as far to say, “she’s the most DTF on the day you meet her, the more time you spend with her, the more chances for you to fuck up, and the less DTF she’ll become.”
Bang on the day if logistic allows. Get a D2 only as a last case scenario. If she’s not down on D2, it’s unlikely she’ll be down later. Exceptions are virgins and non-experienced girls. I have ZERO tolerance for girls who’s already had cock in them. And girls over 21/2 because that’s the peak point in their lives and the biological/sexual value of a woman will keep dropping from there onwards.
Good on the ass slapping btw, should have spanked that ass harder ;)
>> I’d even go as far to say, “she’s the most DTF on the day you meet her
When you first said this to me the day we met, I didn’t understand how much experience you had, nor exactly what you meant. The stories you told me yesterday, all the little things you do in terms of leading, etc, helped me understand how this is possible much more than I thought.
Very impressive conversation yesterday, Stealth. Thank you.
And for the record, Stealth has some moves I have never seen before, certainly not from the London guys (which is where I’ve learned most for what I know) or from Todd at RSD, etc. Still a very similar model, but Stealth has a different range of techniques I’ve never heard anywhere else. Very cool to get that education.
“A distinction here is that Stealth has so much goddamn volume”
To be very honest, PUA’s in Tokyo have an unfair advantage to the rest of the world in terms of volume. There’s an influx of hotties coming in and out of Tokyo every single day, losing one girl or making an embarrassment in front of her has little or no impact – because there’s a girl who’s hotter and better right around the corner.
While you’re in Tokyo, I would recommend you trying something you can’t do back in the US: SNL. It will open up your reality in so many different ways. The second she stops and listens, visualize in your mind the pathway to an SNL. And FAIL badly, learn from it, try it again, rinse and repeat. I wouldn’t insist you on trying this back in the US, but since you’re in Tokyo, you’ve at least gotta give it a shot ;)
On my most recent comment, I meant go crazy on the SNL’s because you’ve got tons of volume to lay back on! Make every girl you meet a potential SNL instead of a D2/3
>> While you’re in Tokyo, I would recommend you trying something you can’t do back in the US: SNL. It will open up your reality in so many different ways. The second she stops and listens, visualize in your mind the pathway to an SNL. And FAIL badly, learn from it, try it again, rinse and repeat.
Good advice. I have a story for you… I’ll post it soon.
And it is awesome to have you and Yohami on the same thread. You guys are very different, and yet have a lot in common.
Really appreciate both of you sharing here. It’s a real gift. More people will read this than will comment and we’re all getting a chance to learn here. Yes to that.
>> While you’re in Tokyo, I would recommend you trying something you can’t do back in the US: SNL. It will open up your reality in so many different ways. The second she stops and listens, visualize in your mind the pathway to an SNL. And FAIL badly, learn from it, try it again, rinse and repeat. I wouldn’t insist you on trying this back in the US, but since you’re in Tokyo, you’ve at least gotta give it a shot ;)
This comment has also been on my mind. And today, I was very much trying to do this on the street. I’ll write about it, I think.
It was my forth insta-date of this trip… and I tried hard to pull her home. Had her on her feet, after the i-date, walking toward the next bounce, but she wouldn’t do it. Ahhh, she was so into, but wouldn’t do it. Shy, conservative, about 30? Maybe 32, but elegant. Loved the date, but I had to do a lot to make her comfortable. I was ready to go: pickup, then coffee, then drink, then sex… it almost happened. I know I was close. Felt very close to happening.
I can see how this could totally work. I just need a little more time to make it happen.
Really inspired by your example, man. Excellent education.
Yes x100. The day you meet her, or the day you arrange for the first date. That’s the fuck date. Been saying this for ages! get to know her after sex, if you care.
Yeah, Yohami… you have been saying this for ages. And you’re right.
I think Riv has a very valid point, that this is not, and will not be, all girls. I agree with him, very much.
A distinction here is that Stealth has so much goddamn volume, like more volume of girls in his life than I have ever seen before (because of a combination of daygame, his city, his skills, and his lifestyle) that he can filter for this kind of girl.
He is the right guy, in a near perfect scenario (all cold approach, this is not “lifestyle” game).
Stealth could have many more girls, I’m sure, if he was patient with “3rd date sex.” (He says he is patient, if he really likes the girl). But he doesn’t have to be… that is the point I take from him. That was the breakthru for me.
I am happy with 3rd date sex, some of those girls are amazing. The Siren is a wonderful addition to my life, and I couldn’t have fucked her first date… I really doubt it.
I am filtering away from girls like Business Girl, because I have more volume. I am sure I will filter away from “slower sex,” when I can I have faster sex… assuming I like the girls equally well. I am doing that here, as I am running out of time on this trip… just 2 weeks left.
In any case, it’s only the volume that allows you to do this. “Nexting” a girl that wants 3 dates before sex (for her own ASD, etc.) is cool, if you have other girls. If not, you’re just not getting laid. There is nothing wrong with 3 dates sex.
However, Yohami, you would point out that it is often the player that is opt’ing for 3 dates (he needs it, I have needed it, in some cases), not the girl. She might be ready on day1. And you might lose her as you drag your feet toward sex.
And there you have been very correct and given me perfect advice.
“In any case, it’s only the volume that allows you to do this.”
Here’s the puzzle for you:
Acting like a man who has volume, gives you the volume.
This is why I’ve been insisting on girl tornado as opposed to ‘daygame’ or any other form of game really: threat every other girl you talk to any point of the day the same way you treat the girls you’re having sex with in your girl tornado. Let’s call this “Girl tornado game”.
Or, the kind of man who is fucking a lot of women and is confident, unproblematic, relaxed, deatched, flirty, dominant with women, is the kind of man every other woman wants as well.
>> threat every other girl you talk to any point of the day the same way you treat the girls you’re having sex with in your girl tornado. Let’s call this “Girl tornado game”.
I hear you.
>> confident, unproblematic, relaxed, deatched, flirty, dominant with women
This idea is what I would call “bi-directional.” You get this kind of swagger when you have volume. And you get volume, when you have this kind of swagger.
Believe me… my approaches this week, have been some of my best ever. Because I have “proof” in my life I am the man that can take these girls down.
I think when I surprised you in the Fall as I built my first Tornado from daygame, it was the fact that you can, in fact, work your way into this swagger. Hard work can get it started… but hard work is not the goal here.
For me, it’s still the only way I know how to get there, in terms of my attitude. That’s what I did here in Tokyo. Hard work, then results, then swagger, than ++ results, then ++ swagger, then +++results, then ++++++swagger.
I know you can start with +++++++swagger and skip a lot of the work, but I can’t just turn that on. Not yet.
But each time I make a new Tornado… and I will have to make new one when I get home, my starting point is at a higher level. When I get home, I will start at +swagger, and skip a whole around of work… jump in with some initial entitlement.
Check this out. Trackstar sent it to me, we’re talking about it. Good “thug” game.
— Start at 2:58
— Thru 3:28
That may be thuggy but it is +++++++swagger. That guy in the white tshirt could create a tornado much faster than me, with much less work.
>> confident, unproblematic, relaxed, deatched, flirty, dominant with women
All that, and that look in his eyes. That guy.
Yes – it’s circular. It’s static. It re-feeds itself. It auto sustains. Doing more of it allows you to do more of it. Being more of it allows you to be more of it. Also valid for every frame – which is why put so much emphasis on not doing anything that doesnt belong to that frame, as, the more you do other stuff the more to frame yourself in other frames as well.
“You get this kind of swagger when you have volume. And you get volume, when you have this kind of swagger.”
“I think when I surprised you in the Fall as I built my first Tornado from daygame, it was the fact that you can, in fact, work your way into this swagger. Hard work can get it started… but hard work is not the goal here.”
Without bitching about it too much: anyone who says that the way to get into the swagger is to do 1000s of approaches and get rejected and rejected and grow an inch every time has mental issues or lack of understanding of the bigger scheme or reality avoidance or something.
Since this is a circular thing and you need volume to learn the swagger and swagger to get the volume – do whatever it takes to start off a position of swagger and volume already. This is why advocate that guys learning game take on a job or activity that has situational social status and go from there. All the time spent chasing women and getting them through the funnel is *not* the path to the swagger.
When I started talking to you is because I saw you going out talking to 20 girls a day and getting rejected and getting hundreds of repetitions of that under your belt.
If you’d do what I advise instead you could had been banging hotties in a week with no work and getting super fast with game learning – because all the lessons are when you are in abundance, that’s where you learn. You’re learning to be an abundant man.
In correlation, acting like an abundant man makes you display attractive characteristics, gives you the focus, the skill, the know how, the certainty. It makes the girls you talk to open easier, faster, be more ready, flake less, make them chase you, by doing less, by investing less on your side.
Because at the end of the day the thing missing is that there’s a very particular character set that is universally attractive to women and they all open to that same guy. They dont do all the stuff to avoid and make you work for when you are that guy. The offer the easiest puzzle possible for that guy. That guy is you. When you are the version of you who lives in abundance.
“For me, it’s still the only way I know how to get there, in terms of my attitude. That’s what I did here in Tokyo. Hard work”
You’ll get to a point where it’s not work. Just walk by, see a girl in a cue, talk to her, fuck her that night. Meanwhile the other girl who saw you doing that gives you her number. Their friends want you too.
“I know you can start with +++++++swagger and skip a lot of the work, but I can’t just turn that on. Not yet.”
Its easier than you think.
“She’s the most DTF on the day you meet her, the more time you spend with her, the more chances for you to fuck up, and the less DTF she’ll become. Exceptions are virgins and non-experienced girls.” -Stealth
okay great, stealth has made one type of distinction, now we need to make one more —
1. party girls
2. normal girls
3. virginal girls
— and then we have that beautiful thing called CALIBRATION.
Yeah… the distinction is, he won’t necessarily spend the time some girls need. Doesn’t mean those girls aren’t great… but he has enough volume he can just move on, and get laid in the same day. He had 50+ lays last year, Riv.
I think I need to realize that “normal girls” and “virginal” girls can still hit the same day plan (I think you’ve done more same day sex than I have). They might really like that experience (which is part of my interest, I want to give her a good experience). Really good girls, can, sometimes, want something like that… fast sex.
I think the distinction isn’t a “type” (not party vs normal vs ???). Stealth is a daygamer. He is pulling normal girls… these are not club girls (not most of them). I saw the type he picks up, we have very similar taste. He just know some things I do not.
That was my breakthru in talking to him. He’s not “in your face alpha.” He has great skill, leads, and has wonderful logistics… and I’m guessing that taught him about the mindset. Now it’s an expectation, and girls are fine with it (at least some of them, right?).
If she needs 3 dates, great. And there are many girls we know, wonderful girls, that are like that. I still have time for those girls… some of them. But I don’t want to take a girl in put her in a “3 day”box, because **I** don’t realize she is much more ready, or could be, than that.
I’ve had a fair few lays last year and to be honest, you really can’t tell how DTF they are until your dick is inside them. And yes as Nash pointed out, I AVOID club girls/sluts unless I’m doing late night street game at 2am in Shibuya.
Last year I had a bunch of older girls who’s already had several sexual partners turning me down. I also banged 9 virgins, most of which were an SNL or a D2. Thats why my frame is “she’s most DTF on the day you meet her”. – whether or not thats a statement of fact is a different question – but is my reality which has been getting me laid.
” I also banged 9 virgins, most of which were an SNL or a D2.”
stealth, in twelve months you banged 9 virgins, and most were on a SNL or a D2?
just want to make sure i understand you correctly.
Stealth – With all the herbivores there might be an overabundance of horny virgins over there? did they go for one night stand or tried to get into a relationship? and, what % of all these girls (all of them not just the virgins) fall in love with you?
Yohami and Rivelino, nice to meet you guys^^
Yup! Here are my stats for the virgins:
I come from the frame “sex is NO BIG DEAL for a woman” and at least try to apply it equally to virgins and non-virgins because TBH they weren’t that difficult to bang. A lot of them I interviewed after the sex admitted to me, “I wanted to lose it/I wanted to try”.
Something very interesting is, out of the 9 virgins I banged, only 2~3 of them were extremely invested because I took their virginity. I think the rest took it as light as having coffee with me.
Another interesting finding is, I wanted to Reg x2 of the virgins I banged. But I failed to do so and I never saw them again. So now together with the frame: “sex is NO BIG DEAL for a woman”, but I also added another assumption: “losing her virginity is NO BIG DEAL to a woman”. LOL
Stealth, yeah it truly means nothing to most of them. The less it matters to you the more you’re the kind of man they will want to give it to, sex, virginity, everything. This is compete LOL when viewed from the male pov where sex is the big deal and the virgin is the holy grail. But for them, all of them are born virgin so it’s common place, and the prettier girls are fucked by the most valuable men early, so virginity means they are not as wanted, they want to get rid of it and move up. The older they get the more of an issue it becomes.
And when a man values sex / virginity it means he’s scarce and cannot get these on command.
Anyway, and kudos for being one of the few japanese men with game :-)
I like how you summarized it, especially – “virginity means they are not wanted” – more the reason they are dtf to bang! Younger chicks are also experimental hence also the fair number of switch hits and spit roasts I often get to enjoy in Tokyo hehe
Stealth… thanks for all this POV. You have some very interesting experience and it is good to be able to see some of the reality in which you’re living.
“My approaches this week, have been some of my best ever. Because I have ‘proof’ in my life I am the man that can take these girls down.”
Man this was hard to read. You obviously know nothing about Japanese women.
First off realize that your girl is a certifiable virgin. Most women who are not married in Japan are. Second from an Asian and specifically Japanese perspective she was basically throwing herself at you.
Japanese women like westerners but only to the point of non-embarrassment. A lot of your antics in public should have gotten you blown out of this date. But like a trooper she stayed with the ugly acting westerner. In a very real way she dug you big boy.
In Japan these days you just can be as open about displaying affection as in the west. I have been to Japan many many times and it always surprises me lack of PDA. If you had gotten this girl in private I believe you could have unburdened this dear girl of her virginity. Or not, you never can tell with Asians many times there has to be two or three play fights in bed before they relent.
Oh and that “of course, I love sex” statement of hers was about as blazing Green Light GO as a traditional Japanese woman gets dude. I have not heard a Japanese woman say that in public ever. Truly a remarkable woman.
Quick notes – the smack on the ass was a BIG no no. Don’t do it bro. Just don’t not in Japan. You can try a cheek grab in a secluded spot. You can try other subtle touches but an ass slap is just so wrong culturally that I’m surprised you didn’t have a big fall out. A stunt like that can get you arrested, no joke.
this exchange is telling –
“Mid-drink, she brings up the ass slap, saying I crossed the line. She is not mad at this point, just talking about it. I look her in the eyes, and say, “I want to take this opportunity to say I apologize.” She is flat and even, tells me no one has ever done that to her before, but it’s obvious she is over it. So am I.”
She was NEVER over it. In Japan you apologizing should have been enough to get you to neutral. So it’s a bit of a puzzle.
I get that you wanted to spark her a bit with the butt slap. But I’m cringing as I read that part. Many people have said that the Japan flag is the hardest to get in Asia. And I pretty much agree, culturally it’s hard to “get in” and make things happen. But Japanese girls are just so cute you gotta try, and it’s mostly worth it.
Try about 10 percent of your physical escalation you would normally do and see where that takes you.
Hey man. Thanks for the comments. I’m listening to you. I want to learn.
>> Man this was hard to read.
I try to tell the truth, man. Even if it’s not pretty. That is a prime feature of my blog. This is not a brag-fest.
>> You obviously know nothing about Japanese women.
This is where Riv or Krauser would talk about you pushing your own ego. You know I had sex with a 23 year old Japanese Nurse last week, right? Sober. She is coming out again tomorrow. I was doing identical stuff, literally same restaurants, etc. She is a conservative, nice girl, and I like her very much. And I took a married woman home last time I was here. And my last LTR was a Japanese woman in America. And I am in the middle of posting more date stories with other “women I know nothing about” And… and… : ]
Slow down, man. I want to hear you comments, but be cool. I have several Japanese flags. And Korean flags. And Chinese girls. An a nice Tiawanese girl. I love Asian women, and I know they are no different than any other kind of girl. That is field tested. The girls are difference, of course, but the countries don’t matter.
>> First off realize that your girl is a certifiable virgin.
>> If you had gotten this girl in private I believe you could have unburdened this dear girl of her virginity.
Maybe. I think I asked and she said she did have sex, but maybe not?? You might be right. There is stuff behind the curtain I couldn’t see with this one (and all of them).
My model is to get a kiss, etc, and then get her home. That is a sound model. I know you are right about PDA here (somewhat), but I have still been able to kiss girls, at least when no one is around (like in a elevator). This girl was non-compliant, and a big pain in the ass in general, but I am listening to you.
>> Oh and that “of course, I love sex” statement of hers was about as blazing Green Light GO as a traditional Japanese woman gets dude. I have not heard a Japanese woman say that in public ever. Truly a remarkable woman.
Yeah, I agree… that was an inspiring moment, but I had to beat her into the space where she would relent on her defense enough to be real with me. She is remarkable, in any country, because she is so non-feminine and combative and stiff. I am frustrated just thinking about her.
>> In a very real way she dug you big boy.
Ahhhh… I think you’re right, man. That’s why she came out three times. I think she would come out again, but I will not invite her. I can find more loveliness than she can offer. I want to invest elsewhere. But if she pings me, which she might, I think I will make her an explicit offer of something like sex. I will not fight with her for more ground. I’m tired of her.
>> But Japanese girls are just so cute you gotta try, and it’s mostly worth it.
Full agreement. I love these women. Most of them. Can’t wait to run daygame again today.
>> Try about 10 percent of your physical escalation you would normally do and see where that takes you.
I made mistakes with this one, several, I’m sure. But my escalation (which also needs work) does work, with all kinds of girls.
I think I made at least 1 of 2 mistakes. 1, not getting a makeout on the first date. I know you won’t agree, but I think this girl is more “bitch” than Japanese, and if I blew away her frame earlier, I might have been able to lead her into a sweeter spot. Get her in my world and out of hers. Maybe. I am convinced some man, perhaps with more skill/balls than me, could have done that. Or 2, nexting her after the first date and walking away.
This town is full of precious girls. The night after this date I took an older girl out, and she was adorable, and soft, and we had a great makeout after dinner. One round of pushing me away, and then she wanted it, and pulled me in as I made my second attempt.
It does not always have to be a battle. This is not Japan, this is her.
Thanks again, man.
“I will not fight with her for more ground”
“if I blew away her frame earlier, I might have been able to lead her into a sweeter spot”
“Get her in my world and out of hers”
Yes, yes, and yes. Take these to your default game.
I don’t know how many jgirls you’ve banged, but relatively cute jgirls generally lose their virginity around 15~17 unless they go to an all girls school, or she’s really different to the other kids in class. There is no chance she’d be a virgin (unless she’s fugly).
You can slap a girls ass any day in Tokyo. And thats coming from me (I’m Japanese). You just need to frame it right or the act has to be calibrated (which Nash failed to do in this case).
And the Japan flag is piss easy to get. Had 34 SNL’s last year and most of it was completed within 70~80 minutes of meeting her. And I don’t even game that consistently.
I’m with you on the physical escalation part, because I barely touch the girl until she’s in my house LOL (this is not a rule, this is just what I do).
I think you can get stuck in the idea that everything is a ‘game’ with all these things you have to do and learn – everything by numbers (certain number of dates etc), everything by a model or template.
Maybe it is more knowing/realising the macro big picture ideas and rolling loosely with what is in front of you.
Or maybe it is the approach you take finds and filters for that approach. The vibe or under current of this flavours the street pick up. If you like the structure of what you do you will end up with a type of girl – which seems to be in two groups you currently encounter (I) the ones that take a bit of time (2) the ones that take only your time and nothing else.
You could always try with the sdl mindset and target certain days of the week. Friday’s are a day you see more women with the look of looking for something. Saturday’s. Sunday afternoons you see the lone girl wondering around slowly looking for someone to pick her up and take her home.
>> Maybe it is more knowing/realising the macro big picture ideas and rolling loosely with what is in front of you.
Yes. Everything you’re saying seems right on to me.
At first life is an unconscious mess, no process, no map. Then, comes the belief in science, in models and testing. Then, I believe, you see that science only goes so far, and it’s an art, and there is a lot of control, but also a lot of “rolling loosely.”
Right on, man.