The “Unapproachable” Korean Actress

Here is a story about an odd, but interesting date with a very beautiful girl. She is from Korea. I picked her up on Wednesday. Had her out on Thursday night.

I was out with my Russian friend. He was in the city, and wanted to see me run daygame. He’s a little older than me, but has pretty good game… He approached a few girls before we even met up. I like that about him.

We walked around, did some approaches, chatted about theory and broke down each of my sets so I could answer his questions and tell him what I am trying to do.

There she was… About 5’3″, great style, black pants, and some kind of shirt that was completely open in the back. Very cute face.

I’m still not certain about her age, but I would guess about 23-25 years old.

When I stopped her I was surprised how big her boobs were. High neck-ed, but sleeveless shirt. Silk. I assumed her bra was padded at the time. And other than where her shirt ties at the base of her neck, her back was wide open and on display. How do you hold up big boobs with no bra??

She was hot, but I wasn’t intimidated. I was a mix of hungry and curious about her. It felt like a normal approach to me, no big deal. However, I was “cold,” hadn’t warmed up yet, and my flow was stunted. I stuttered a bit. I was surprised she stayed in the exchange… Which is what I told my Russian friend afterwards as I told him what the approach meant to me.

It went like this:

I noticed you blah, blah, blah… And she kind of stared at me. I asked if she understood me… She said she didn’t speak English well, could I please speak slower? That was a better reaction than I was expecting after my weak approach.

I asked why she had no noticeable accent if she didn’t speak English? Why… because she is an actress. And she had an English speaking role before. Ahhh. Okay.

She was in this city for a few more days, so I took her number. She has a US phone while she’s here in California.

Then, and now, there is something a little mysterious about her.

She didn’t tell me her name when I introduced myself, and seemed to dodge the question. And as I took her number I asked again and she said, “You can call me, Jane.” Hmmm.

I said my goodbyes, rolled off and debriefed with the Russian. He thought it was a great set. I told him it was awkward. I was competent, but not smooth or powerful.

Last night, texting her. Went well.

NASH: There was something a little mysterious about you today…
NASH: Made me curious.
NASH: And…
NASH: You were also a bit charming.
HER: Wait … a bit?? ?
HER: What made you mysterious about me?

This was me baiting her into a conversation… and it worked.

NASH: She is a little mysterious…
NASH: Because she is on a long trip, by herself.
NASH: That is a little bit brave…
HER: Oh is she pretty?
NASH: Is the Korean girl pretty???
NASH: So so.
NASH: : ]

Do you see her reach for that “is she pretty” comment? That says a lot about her. It was fun to pull the rug out from under her with my “so so” response.

And I thought that comment was hysterical, but I wasn’t sure if I would blow myself out… maybe it was too harsh?

She replied the next morning. No reaction to the “so so” line. And we exchanged messages back/forth until I got her to agree to come out for a drink… Even though she doesn’t drink alcohol.

None of the girls I meet on the street drink. I had to double-down on my offer, and tell her I know a place with great non-alcohol drinks to get her to say yes. But my “non-alcoholic drink game” is getting tighter… I get a lot of practice.

We met near the train (same spot where I met Good Smell last Friday) and I took her to the fancy hotel bar for a virgin drink.

As she showed up, she looked… pretty fucking hot. She is a very beautiful girl. Not tall enough to be classically beautiful, but her face is near an “8.” And she has a sex-kitten body, with big boobs and a great hip-to-waist ratio. She was dressed…

Sophisticated. Long patterned dress, up to her neck, belted at the waist. And open, flowy sleeves that I know from Japanese fashion. She’s clearly another high-end girl. I didn’t ask, but I am sure she comes from a wealthy family. She was charming, graceful, proper, and beautiful.

We walked toward the bar. As I started to run my game and get personable a with her, she would jerk her body away from me — physically pull away, just the top 1/2 of her body — whenever I would get even slightly into her personal space. I was assuming familiarity, but not making any kind of a move that would merit that reaction. When I would lean into her personal space even slightly, and she would quickly lean back away from me. And other than the quickness of that gesture, she was perfectly calm about it. Almost no change on her pretty face at all. And since I didn’t freak out, she didn’t either… But she was a bit jumpy about her body. At least at first.

In some ways, her jumpiness seemed like a shit test. Maybe because she was so calm. And she would watch me each time… Like the whole thing was some kind of experiment. But I am so used to girls being cautious on the street I had no reason to be alarmed. And yet… this was unusual for a date.

At the bar, on a couch, side by side. Her, in that great dress. I sat close to her, and she was perfectly happy about it. No caution from her at that point. She was having a good time. Big eyes. Smiling. Asking me questions… Even more than most girls do.

She was telling a story and I bought it back around to she and I, saying I like how we met. And she says, “I think you are brave.” I riff on that for a second and she says:

HER: “…I am unapproachable.”

Interesting, huh. I’ve heard guys say that about a girl, but never a girl say that about herself. She said most guys are afraid to approach her.

Her saying that is about her knowing that she is hot. And she is a very hot/beautiful girl. She is both hot and beautiful. Refined (her face, her poise, her style) and sexy (her body, her confidence).

Interesting to hear her call herself “unapproachable.” Never heard those words out of a girl’s mouth before.

She was almost cold/bitchy about it. She is exactly my type in many ways, but even I don’t think she is as hot as she thinks she is.

And as we talk a bit about sex, she leaned forward and said she is bisexual. She seemed to be showing off and I think she was expecting that to have more of an impact on me than it did. And what does that mean? Not much. She has never even kissed a girl… But she wants to, and has sexual dreams about girls. And she loves big boobs.

Despite all that jerking-away from me when we were on the street, she was easy to touch as we sat together. She had her arms folder across her body for much of the date, but a lot of that is her “properness.”

Her fingers were sticking out from those crossed arms and I reach down and held them, and she didn’t flinch at all. I could grab her bicep, no problem. Had my hand on her back much of the night. Etc.

After her bisexual thing, I walked thru the exact same stripper fantasy that I did with Good Smell six days ago. Those girls are looking for very different girls for their first same-sex hookup. Fun conversation. Both times.

And while I’m comparing them… the Actress is a full point higher than Good Smell. Not in the same ballpark. But I’m not sure who I like more. The Actress is much hotter on paper, and younger, but I’m not sure my cock would agree… And my cock is my CEO. He makes all the really important decisions.

We sipped our drinks and she was on some borderline conceited rant about her boobs, and I cut her off… I told her I don’t care about boobs (and I don’t), and that I am more interested in her neck… And I reached up and stroked it with the back of my finger and she took it smooth as silk.

The Actress has three tattoos. I could see one above her boot on her ankle, so I asked about it. She says she has a big flower on her belly. The tattoos surprised me. I could see her being too high-end for that, maybe even judgmental about tattoos… But she is not. Goes well perhaps with the bit of adventurous spirit in her.

It was like that.

And a bit after 7 PM, I asked if she was hungry. She said she was not. I said I was, and that she should come with me to my ramen spot. She could watch me eat. And have something if she was hungry. She agreed.

In the elevator, just she and I… she walks in, leans back against the wall… Totally seductive. She was looking one million percent tempting. So… I walked into her and made a move to kiss her.

I have done this exact move, in the same elevator, with so many girls. She gave me a big “no,” and then, “I’m sorry” and she touched me. I leaned back and laughed. And she immediately smiled, and gave me big, hot eyes, she was happy.

This move is okay. In a basic way, it communicates that I’m not the “gay best friend” type, and that this is a sexual date. Very often, the kiss lands later in the date… this one is just a type of communication. However, I don’t think any of the girls I’ve tried to kiss in this elevator have kissed me. It’s never worked.

And I’m going to quote Yohami here, from a recent exchange on this blog between he and Daygame in Shitsville.

DAYGAME IN SHITSVILLE: Of course, she never replied to my messages a few days after
DAYGAME IN SHITSVILLE: and I never heard from her again
YOHAMI: …you pushing past the girls resistance point, aka making a move before she’s ready
YOHAMI: And the expected result
YOHAMI: You probably could have banged her that night or the following day by ramping it up.

I want to help translate Yohami here… Daygame in Shitsville was over-escalating. And yet Yohami is talking about “ramping it up.” I do not think Yohami means “be more aggressive.” That’s not his point… but I think I know where he is going.

Yohami… we need you to lay out your definition of a “ramp” more properly. I just combed my blog again, but I’m still using RSD Tyler’s comments to help explain your concept. I quoted this before in my “How to Escalate” post.

“Fun… up… and then, ‘lets go!’
“You only do that kind of thing if they are feeling amazing
“You don’t do it if they’re not feeling amazing, don’t do it
“You only go for an escalation if they are going to say yes
“I don’t escalate when they’re not going to say yes, why would I do that?”
— RSD Tyler

So in Daygame in Shitsville’s story, he tried to pull from a party, with a girl that seemed to like him, but she made him take her back when they are halfway to his house. And Yohami is saying, that’s because he didn’t have “a ramp” for that particular part of the seduction. I think that is what he is saying.

I get that from Yohami saying, “pushing past the girls resistance point.” And in that elevator, I heard “no” because I was also pushing past her resistance point.

But Yohami’s comment doesn’t say how to escalate correctly. Yohami would say, “give her more of what she wants, less of what she doesn’t want.” But in an open situation like the elevator… and if you’re trying to pace the overall seduction… what is a player supposed to do?

Tyler’s comment is more explicit. Make her feel “amazing,” then escalate. So maybe Daygame in Shitsville was supposed to build more buying temperature first before he tried to take her home? Get her more worked up. “Build a ramp” toward that part of the seduction?

YOHAMI: That’s what Im referring to when I say that you take the accelerator and let her have the brake, but then you drive in a way she never has to use the brake.

This is Yohami’s accelerator/brake metaphor… but it’s almost the same thing. And I LOVE THAT QUOTE. That is the #1 quote on my mind right now.

So back to my date and the elevator… she hit the brake. So I did something that made her do that. I see that.

That leaves me with two questions… 1.) Is there something I could have done there that would made the kiss happen? Or is that that wrong question? Maybe I should be asking, 2.) What should I do instead, because kissing girls at that moment is not working… how can I “drive better,” to move the seduction along, but keep her foot off the brake??

I don’t know.

To Tyler’s point… maybe I just spike her first in some way, then kiss her.

But when Tyler asks “when they’re not going to say yes, why would I do that?” I can answer that question:

I am using that move to set the tone. I do not like to wait until the end of the date to try to kiss a girl. I want to make sure I am communicating this is a sexual date, and moving us toward sex… even in a “two steps forward, one step back” kind of way. And I don’t actually think that being rejected, briefly, in a situation like this, is a bad thing. The fact that I don’t freak out at all, is another show of calibration and confidence and experience to the girl.

But I am still operating at a “basic” or “intermediately” level here, and I’d like to learn more… I’d like to get better. I don’t want to make the same mistakes over and over and over. I’d like to know what the “advanced” thing to do is… but maybe my game isn’t good enough for the advanced move right now?


Off to dinner, via the train. She is such a fancy girl, she looked out of place on public transportation. Like a princess on a donkey.

We arrived, and I walked that princess past the crack heads at the train stop to my ramen place — which was perfect, as usual. We sat at the counter, ordered some food, and continued to chat and to get to know each other.

She is a proud, strong girl. Capable. Independent, as she is on a month-long trip by herself in California. And she is also a vain girl. Conceited. She can be shiny and sweet, and in a childish way, mostly, it seems, when you surprise her or dominate her.

I think (like most girls), this is what she needs. A dominant man. Someone that isn’t overly impressed with her big tits and pretty face. Someone that isn’t intimidated by her… and that might make her feel safe. I bet she is dying to meet that man.

When we talked about her perfume, she asked if I wear a scent, and I said no… That I don’t even shower, that I smell bad, worse than a dog. She loved it. As we were talking about men, she said she likes a gentleman, and I said I wasn’t like that at all, that I was bad, and mean, and rough. She said, “oh!,” And her eyes sparkled.

Whenever I would push her away, or disqualify myself in some cocky way, she would light up… Which is to say… standard attraction works on her.

We talked about her body at some point. She has D-cup boobs, and has had them since she was 11. And she has great hips. And while she just had sex for the first time last year… She has been seen as sexual her whole life. And while she works it to her advantage… I don’t think she has always been comfortable with her role in the sexual marketplace.

I think she likes the power her hotness provides her… but she is also quite bitter about it.

One of the key moments over dinner was again, about sex, when she said:

HER: Men just want me for my body.

She was cold and defensive as she said it. I told her so.

As I called her out for being cold, she was a mix of defiant and sexy, and then her eyes sparkled, a flash of something young and childish again. She said I was right, and we actually connected some there. I could see the attraction. And she softened. And I pointed that softening out to her. I was reading her pretty well.

It is interesting how sexual she thinks she is, and how confident she is about how men see her, and how little sex she’s actually had. This is inline with her bisexual comment, even though she’s never touched a girl. She’s putting on a front… But she believes it. Or acts like she does.

She is an actress, after all.

And this is a wild guess… But there might be sexual abuse there with this girl. Perhaps, something a little dark around her sexuality, perhaps when she was younger. She doesn’t bait with you with sex (again, she assumes you are intimidated), but uses her appeal as part of her power.

I’m not certain.

Also: For some reason the idea of her Dad came up for me, probably because she never mentioned him. She said her younger sister is her best friend (and she is possessive about the sister), and that she and her mom and the sister are tight… No mention of Dad. And my internal radar went off about that topic, so I never brought it up.

Overall, I’d say the date was definitely going well, with that ongoing mix of coldness combined with genuine attraction.


She has some kind of allergic reaction right now. Some lotion she used that gave her a strong allergic reaction. She even went to the hospital for it since she’s been on this trip. And it makes her skin itch. Her arm was red, and she was reaching up the sleeve of her pretty dress during dinner to scratch it. And pat it. It was increasingly a problem and she was more and more distracted.

I paid the bill and moved us outside. I wasn’t sure if the allergy meant the date was over. I didn’t know.

But earlier in the date I learned that she loves ice cream. So, after dinner and outside… I was in the same situation I was in with Miss Good Smell last week. This time, I didn’t give her any choices or suggest going home to her hotel. I said, “come have ice cream with me.”

And she said no.

She apologized, but said her arm was making her crazy and she needed to get back to her hotel to take a pill (I assume an anti-histamine). She was not coming with me.

Okay. I told her to call herself a car and she did.

As the car arrived, I moved towards her to try to kiss her again. She made an alarmed type of reaction, pulled her head back, said something… But was immediately warm, big sparkly eyes and attracted again immediately after she rejected the kiss. I said “come here,” and she said, “a kiss?!!!” And I said, “right here” and pointed to my cheek and she kissed me. Big smile from her. Then she was in the car, waving goodbye, and she was gone.

I walked to a local beer bar for a double IPA. I wrote most of this post while I caught that buzz. It reminded me of my post-date routine when I was in Japan… and my beer bar in Tokyo, a block away from my apartment.

I can say she had a very strong effect on me. She wound me up. I needed that beer to cool off after the date.

Two hours later:

HER: I took a shower and took a pill
HER: Thank you today and i am so sorry
HER: I couldn’t focus anything
HER: Have a good night

I didn’t reply until the next morning, and then something positive and a light tease. No response.

I figured she was gone. I know she is off to LA soon, and I assumed I was one night of entertainment and that was it.

I tried once more, 24 hours after the date, pinged her asking if she liked pancakes… I was going to see if I could set up a breakfast date. No response.

So I think that’s it. Another daygame adventure. Another mysterious little sex-kitten fades into the night.

Good experience, all the same.

Viva daygame.