Sometime in late September, I had a call with Rivelino. Two daygamers – with the Atlantic Ocean between us – chatting about life, girls and goals. I told Riv I wanted to do 200 approaches in the next couple of months.
I nailed it.
I don’t have my stats for the year, but I do have my stats for this Fall. Here they are:
— 87 in Oct
— 71 in Nov
— 75 in Dec
I hit my goal.
But to be honest, we know that’s not even that much approaching. I think the rule of thumb for new guys per the London Model is 50 a week (3 days of 10 midweek, and a 20-approach day on a weekend). That would be overkill for me, I think, but either way, I’m well under that.
I’m not suggesting that spam-approaching is a good idea, but I am increasingly convinced that you should allow yourself to warm up, and that you get better reactions after you’re warm, and often that is after the first 5 – 8 approaches in a day. It makes sense. It’s like anything else. So that means bigger days are better days.
Roy Walker commented to me that he doesn’t focus on warming up (and often his best set is his first set, and that happens to me too, sometimes), but for the rest of us… I still assert that bigger days are better days.
And maybe even more importantly… when you’re on… don’t stop. Seriously, cancel your plans and keep farming on those days. I had several “hot streak” days last Fall, where I’d take 4-5 numbers (vs 0-1 on a “normal” day) in one session, and often those numbers would mostly turn into dates. I think the two new lays I had this Fall from approaches during the day were both from days when I was on a hot streak.
I dated 17 different girls.
— 7 in Oct
— 4 in Nov
— 6 in Dec
That’s distinct girls. There were many repeat dates in there that are not in the total. There is one girl from online. And one girl I have known for years but hadn’t seen in over a year (more about her below). That means 15 distinct girls from daygame during the Fall. Better than 1 new girl on a date per week. Not bad for this stage of my game.
And for the record… there were a ton of cancelled dates that never happened. Rejection is part of this too. Tons of rejection, at every level. And so much work spinning plates to make this all happen.
I had sex with 3 new girls.
— 1 in Oct
— 0 in Nov
— 2 in Dec
Firecracker, the Velvet Mouth mom, and the Siren. Repeat sex with the first two. I also had the Thai girl in bed, with her giving me some oral pleasure several times, but we could never get her panties off.
And I had that odd night with Miss NYC, where I made her squirt via some manual stimulation, but didn’t have sex with her for lack of a condom (we went to her hotel, she wouldn’t come to my place). She was a full yes, and that was my bad for not being more prepared, or that lay count would be at 4. I now carry condoms (plural) with me on most dates.
(Sidenote there… I once saw this Same Night Lay seminar where that one dude from Vegas, fat guy, big attitude, but looks legit… he asks the crowd, “How many of you have condoms on you right now?” And a lot of guys did. And that is a kind of lesson right there. Interesting moment to know how serious you are about getting laid a lot.)
Okay, there are the numbers.
But as I told my old wing Hurricane today… “You have known me a long time. I bet we’re both surprised I can claim stats like that.” I’ve come a long way. I think my game is at a point where I am literally straddling the gap between have and have not. And I will show a lot of progress this year. It’s going to get better. Count on it.
And an average of “one lay a month from hard graft” is a standard I’ve had my eyes on for some time. It’s not my destination, but is an important milestone. I’m on the path.
I learned a lot. Thanks to Yohami for all the coaching. Fucking thanks, man. His comments here are solid gold.
I have had some good times with the Firecracker… more sex with her than any other girl (which is still not that much). She and I were chatting today online, she is whip-smart, and funny, and absolutely sexy and delicious in bed. Last time we slept together she said, “make me feel like a slut.” She’s great. Velvet Mouth (I call her that because that’s what came to mind as I kissed her the first time) is so into it, so feminine, so easy to be with… she is wonderful. Zero games. Lots of passion. Good deal. And the Siren… she’s my favorite daygame girl so far. Very sophisticated girl, extremely feminine, also super passionate, and a wonderful body. Wow. I really like her. We’ll see if that is still alive when I get back to the states.
But the girl of the season was Miss Shanghai. Which is kind of a surprise to me. We did not have a good time together. But if you see a “bad” movie, and can’t stop thinking about it… that movie got you. I’m not pining for her in any way, but that’s close to how I feel about her and my date. That date remains on my mind.
She is a girl I’ve known for years. I didn’t pick her up on a street approach (and she’s not a part of the 233 count for Fall). I met her in a cafe. We dated a bit almost 3 years ago. She’s married, then and now. I always wanted to, but never tried to kiss her (or get her naked, for that matter). So as we set up a time to see each other this year, I got her back to my place mid-day, and I tried to kiss her. I genuinely wanted it. And she completely rejected me. We settled down for a bit, but she left pretty quickly after that. I have messaged her once via Facebook since then (something very casual), and she didn’t reply.
I think I burned that relationship to the ground. She might be mad at me. Who knows.
I have thought about that one all Fall (she was in Oct). And I am very glad I did what I did.
Torching that relationship by trying to make it sexual was me burning a bluepill/orbiter bridge. I don’t need that bridge. I am no fucking orbiter. Not anymore. Fuck that bridge. That relationship probably could have gone sexual back in the day — which was always my interest, it was always man to woman — but I didn’t get it done early. And how it starts is how it goes.
I don’t blame her one bit. Girls are perfect just the way they are… it’s what we do with them that matters. It’s how we rule ourselves.
I think her logical brain might think I overstepped that day, and maybe ruined a “friendship.” But I am quite convinced that her hindbrain was originally attracted to me, and I fucked it up with weak game, by not doing that very same thing years ago. I made the mistake then, not this Fall when I went for the kiss… which I genuinely wanted. It was all authentic. If she was here now, I’d do it again. I think she’s hot. It was a mistake for me not to act sooner. To date her without getting what I wanted was a lie.
The point is not that she should fuck me. It is that I am a man that will go for what he wants. And I didn’t do that back then, because I wasn’t the man I am now. And the man I am now burned that bridge so it can never happen again. It was the right thing to do. Burn the evidence of a weaker past. Learn. Move on. Be who you want to be.
We don’t game women. We game ourselves. I needed to step up my game and I did.
Back to my goal of 200 in the Fall, that is also about gaming myself. It’s about setting goals, chipping away at them via discipline and real work. And hitting them to prove you are the man you say you are. Integrity. That is all for me. Do I think girls appreciate those qualities? Of course. But I am doing this for me. And the girls will follow.
I want to thank Rivelino again. For his time, for his support, and for sharing his own story on his blog. I also want to thank him for his suggestion that we show some camaraderie as seducers. He’s been a great example. And a good friend. We have a lot to learn from each other. All of us.
And he also allowed me to make a commitment. To say it out loud. To provide a moment for accountability. This is one way in which our brothers can serve us. And help us to serve ourselves.
Here’s to a badass 2017.
To all the players on the path, all the daygamers wearing out the pavement, breaking hearts and taking their licks… I salute you.