I had a great call with Riv the other day. I mentioned I was going to jump back into daygame, and that I had a goal of 200 approaches before Christmas. (Maybe I said by the end of November?) It seems I am on my way.
“We have a right to our labor, but not to the fruits of our labor.”
I love this quote. Of course it reminds me of daygame. So many things are out of our control. What we can do… is go talk to girls. What comes of it, is certainly partly skill. But like poker, we don’t control “the cards.” And even the best players can put in the hands, but not necessarily have the right to “the fruits” of that labor.
He is talking about coming back after some time off. That is where I was at (although this week, I’ve gotten a lot of work done on the streets).
As you start back, Big K is recommending you consider one of three approaches:
* Pick outcome… I want XYZ out of today
* Pick process… I am going to focus on this part of the structure
* Pick vibe… I’m going to focus on my vibe, not worry about anything else
I like that.
As I headed out this week, working on getting my approaches going for this next round of experience… I was focused only on vibe. “Go out, enjoy the street, approach, have a good time.” It was great.
Set of the day… was… my first lesbian.
Ha. I assume I have approached lesbians before. I assume, they are some of the blow outs. Or maybe, some of the femmy ones… are just super awkward, or have convenient “boyfriend.” This one… was a little different.
To be honest, she reminded me of one of my first real loves. Actually, the girl I am thinking of was the girl that “turned” me, from being an innocent little kid to the beginnings of the
jaded wise man I am today.
The girl from my past and I dated started when I was 17, I broke her heart when I pushed her away to date my GF in my senior year of high school. She would have many chances to return the favor, and she did, putting bullet-sized holes in my chest on multiple occasions.
I once went down on that girl, super high on hashish for the first time, and she came so hard she couldn’t talk for a 1/2 hour. That was after she kissed me and I had to ask if I imagined it… we were very fucking high. I did acid with this girl too, and it was our first time, and we did way too much and lost our minds. Lots of history with that one. Lots of me being the 3rd wheel to some other guy she as dating. She used me to tool those guys… of course I was tooled as well. Damn, I wish I had an education back then. Probably would have done a thing or two differently.
This daygame girl from today, and that girl from my past, have a lot in common. I bet that’s why I was attracted to her.
She was wearing jeans and a long sleeve button down shirt – kind of a butch look, now that I think of it. Backpack, and a binder pinned against her chest. I saw the resemblance to the girl from my childhood, and that got me, and I went in.
She opened easily. We started chatting, and she turned out to be Mexican. No makeup. Smart, interesting, right away. Art student…. but so new to art she hadn’t picked her emphasis yet. She wasn’t that young… 25? I moved us to the edge of the sidewalk closest to the buildings. I locked in. We chatted. It felt great. At one point, she said, “This feels like an interview,” and I know that isn’t ideal, but the comment didn’t bother me at all. We went deeper.
I talked about my art. I gave her one of my stickers – a drawing of a girl, nude, from the waist up – she loved it, and put it on her brand new binder.
I opened her by telling her that she reminded me of that girl from my past… and how talking to someone that is very similar to someone you’ve know before can bring up feelings and make you feel like you know the new person better than you do.
She got it. I have said this kind of thing to girls before, always authentically, and it always lands. She asked where she is now. I told her I don’t know. She asked about social media. I confessed I have checked, but she’s not on Facebook, not under any name I know. I could track her down. I know her family. I’m not interested. I didn’t tell this girl that I intentionally blew her off about 8 years ago. That girl and I were all baggage. I was becoming a new man. I didn’t need that old baggage around anymore. I was harsh as I blew my old lover off back then. But it was the right move.
So I go to close this one… and she asks “in what context” do I want her number. I say, “There are no obligations, of course, but very ‘man to woman.'” I gave her a knowing look. And she says, “Okay, well, I have a girlfriend.” And I say… cool. And I believe her. And I asked her, “Well, you knew this was man to woman, right?” And she says, no, that this is a strange town, and she has met guys when it wasn’t like that. That… was bullshit on her part. Of course she knew. But either way, it’s cool.
Funny thing is… that girl from my past… dated lots of girls as well. I told you they had a lot in common.
Here are the rest of the approaches:
1. Indian woman, conservative, but pretty, worker bee outfit. She stopped, listened, looked me up and down, but as I complimented her, her uncertainty turned to a frown, and she bailed. Ha. Cool. First one… worst one. And it was the worst one.
2. This is the Lesbian Mexican art student story from above. Interesting girl.
3. Chinese. She was standoffish, and I called it out, and she mentioned that she was a bit scared, but laughed as she said it. Calling girls out in this way can be a very socially slick thing to do, and it usually gets them to relax. Julien would say it’s “realness.” I agree. I know I can be a little too intense, and I take this as evidence I need to smile more. I need to remember that. Cool. Right about then I noticed a tiny wedding ring, asked if she was married, she was, we smiled, and I bailed.
4. Asian girl, headphones, green streaks in her hair, wearing all black, great style. She opened well. Her top had this cross-cross lacing over the cleavage of her delicious looking little boobs. I think my eyes wandered a little too much (it was a bit of a theme that day… I’m not even a boob guy, but this day I was). She said she had to go and she took off. Fucking sexy girl.
5. Little Asian girl, from Hong Kong. She had these blue circular sunglasses that made her look edgy, but she was tiny and cute. Maybe 5′? I loved the contrast and told her so. Good, long chat, but she never felt solid. I told her I wasn’t going to take her number and I split. Hmmm.
6. Indian girl, great size/shape, wearing these black shiny pants. I opened her, told her I love the pants, that they sparkled like metal. She said she was a on her way to yoga, but that she is a sucker for pants compliments. Ha, in retrospect, I wonder if she was teasing me about that? At one point she asked if I was trying to sell her something, I said, this is just about you/I. Again, me staring past the buttons of her shirt to her brown cleavage. Delicious little boobs, on this one too. She was charming, but rejected the close… told me she hoped to run into me again. That was fun, great little interaction. I still have a crush on her. Ummmm.
7. Shy white girl. As I approached she bloomed into a huge smile, but wouldn’t stop. I felt like she knew I was going to approach her before I did. Maybe I should have reopened? Hmmm. She was cute… I can still “feel” her as I write this.
8. Short, sexy, fiery Asian. 4’10? Damn, I love that. She was a bit older, ass like two kittens fighting in a sack. Her body was stacked. I get in front of her, huge smile, she liked it, but she wouldn’t stop. I ran around again and reopened, again she liked it, but it wasn’t hooking. She was a mix of turned on and nervous… walking together, her staring straight ahead, smiling, her face a little tight… I was right on the edge of being creepy… so I bailed. That’s only the second time I’ve reopened… which was something Yad was pushing me to do. Felt good.
9. Elegant Asian woman. She stopped, but drifted away… like an inch at a time. She would look uncomfortable, then smile/bloom, then uncomfortable again, then more smiling. Said she had to go. Cool.
10. Korean tourist. Fun/cute girl, teeth were kind of a mess. English was terrible, but I liked her. Her phone was offline, but she took my name for Facebook, with the idea that she and her friends and I might go for drinks on Thu. Never heard from her, of course. For some reason I thought I might… felt like a good interaction.
11. Short, artsy Asian girl with a very cool, bag and combat boots. I saw her in one part of town, and then again, 10 minutes later, so I approached. She was young, nervous, shy, but took the conversation pretty well. She’s Cantonese… which I am learning about as I spend so much time with Asian girls. Apparently, Canton is sad story. She seemed kind of sad about it too. She was very nervous about the #. Gave her my name, told her to add me to FB. Never heard from her.
12. Great body, but face was ehhh as I got close. From Taiwan. Fun, she loved it. Cute wrinkles in her nose when she smiles. After 5 min I find out she had a BF (she was too busy loving it to tell me) so I bailed.
Good start toward my goal of 200 before the New Year. Viva Daygame.