Daygame Restart – This is Not a Lay Report
After I moved to Japan in December, I settled in and did about 20 approaches in January, I met Miss Happy, and dated her all through the months of this year when this city was a desperate ghost town.
As my city opened up a little, I wanted to get back to what I love more than almost anything else… the experience of meeting girls and bringing them into my life.
I wanted to run some daygame again.
The FIRST STEP toward hooking up with that hot girl is talking to that hot girl.
(I am making approaches today and I am telling myself this as much as anyone else.)#GOtalkTOgirls
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) August 9, 2020
While it was great to be back in the game… this is the story of the time before all that worked out. This story (like others on this blog) is from a stretch of days where I was out grinding away, working with the approaches, numbers, dates… in search of triumph that (at the time of this post) had not yet materialized.
I did over 100 approaches in July/August/September and then… I burned out. And then… I got going again. Even for a guy like me that has “been around the block” (quite literally) a few times, Daygame is like that.
This is that story. And this is not a lay report.
PICKING UP GIRLS (AGAIN)
Despite the time of forced social hibernation, it wasn’t hard to once again shake the rust off. I was back on my feet quickly… doing what I have always done, but I also made some new additions to how I meet girls.
For example: I have been doing my consulting work in the afternoons from a cafe that has some seats that face a path with a heavy flow of foot traffic. I sit there, behind floor-to-ceiling windows, do my work and… watch the girls go by.
I have called that spot “The Fish Bowl.” It feels like it: sitting in a fish bowl, looking out, with the girls watching me watching them.
From there I can chase down any given girl that catches my eye. It’s been a new innovation for my Game. And it’s been working.
Some snapshots from this summer:
And… JUST TOOK A NUMBER.
She wasn’t wearing a mask. Young face, very “adult” body, great walk. English was good.
Some dude walked up on us. I had already asked if she was married and she said “no, no, no, no!” She waved the dude off… but he was not happy with me.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) July 22, 2020
I remember her. I took that number and she responded easily. She spoke English. She sent me pics of her art. It felt “on.” I asked her out, and…
Gone. Never heard from her again. It happens. (More often than not, actually.)
FISH BOWL: Another One
She is maybe 5’6, but thin, and yet such a small little waist she still has incredible proportions.
She stopped before I said a word. Said “no” to Eng right away, but just hung there… she was very into it. No Eng at all… but a beautiful, sexy vibe.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) July 31, 2020
It’s inspiring to run back through these notes…
Here is another:
Just opened this little BOMBSHELL. Short, “70s” feathered hair, perfect ass, fuzzy pink slippers, and a Chanel necklace.
No English at all. She just smiled and laughed.
I checked her out one last time and gave her a round of applause. She laughed again.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) August 12, 2020
She had a strong sexuality and a wonderful calm, familiar confidence. I came at her more direct. We looked each other up and down, took in each other’s value as “players” in the SMP… and then… released.
She has danced before. So have I.
Here is another:
She wasn’t sure I was talking to her, but when I got her attn SHE SNAPPED OPEN.
She spoke no English at all. But when she didn’t understand she would just stand there and stare. In a trance. Her eyes were extra wide and glassy…
I woke that girl up.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) August 13, 2020
“She would just stand there and stare. In a trance.” Hypnotized. Makes me feel a like a wizard.
I intentionally took down all the little details for this period so I could document the process once again.
You know the word “DISHY?” The kind of girl that is SOFT, SLOW, typically CURVY, with ample FEMININITY, and often a SMOLDERING SEXUALITY to go with it?
I just had a great talk with a girl like that.
No English, but we vibed so well. She had a BF.
She was wonderful.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) August 21, 2020
This girl… Wow.
I had many “single serving” love affairs with these girls… but like her, most of these moments were more like a spark than real connection. Small flirtatious fires fading as quickly as they began.
Talking to girls is fun. And so it was… and yet, I have already said that eventually my enthusiasm in this period would be tested.
But before I crashed… I did get some of these little girls out on dates.
My dates here start with this one:
Tall, long black hair, short shorts, no mask. I followed her up the escalator, and then another floor, and cut her off at the top of the 4th floor.
Stepped in, opened, her eyes lit up. She loved it.
“Are you a student?”
“Yes! High school.”
18 yrs old… # close.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) August 3, 2020
Of course this girl is easy to remember. It was a very good set. Sexual and the vibe was on.
As she was still in high school, I decided to screen over over text before I asked her out. I pushed her away a bit. I made sure she knew I was dangerous, but she was eager to meet. And she came out.
BACK TO MY PLACE:
She has an early day tmrw so I didn’t have long. A bit of comfort, and I said “c’mere.” Pulled her in. She giggled a bit and then…
I totally made out with a high school girl tonight.
And I feel great about it. It was a good experience for both of us.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) August 10, 2020
It was a good night and a great makeout. I made an 18 year old girl moan for me that night.
She had an early day the next day, and it seemed really on, so I didn’t push it past that. I probably could have gotten her naked, but I assumed I’d see her again…
We messaged several times after that. We set a date and then… she “hard-flaked.” “No call, no show.” I was surprised, but she is a high school girl… losing her was probably a good thing.
Now a different girl, one week later:
FISH BOWL: Great Girl
She is slim, nice, slow walk. Opened easy. Speaks some English. When she took off her mask…
CRAZY JAPANESE TEETH. She asked me if I was okay with it before she would give me her number…
I still like her. Great girl.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) August 7, 2020
Great chemistry and she touched me in all on her own (very rare) – it was on. She came out… and she was awesome. Very “healthy,” happy, well-adjusted, charming girl.
After dinner (a two-minute walk from my apartment), I invited her back to my place, she said “yes” with no hesitation.
The vibe was casual, but as I had her in my place I made my move:
Had this girl out tonight. 2nd post-Covid #daygame date.
She was wonderful.
22 yrs old. Cute/girly, but many signs she is actually an extravert (unusual for me)… she does small live shows as a singer.
Dinner. Back to my place. Makeout. Vibe was “exploratory”, not super sexy. https://t.co/iDDjJZLQEb
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) August 19, 2020
I stepped in and kissed her. And she kissed me back. Afterward, she showed some surprise and said, “woah, what happened?” I have a perfect image of that moment in my head right now. In a way, she was saying: “That came out of nowhere.” And, she is right, it did. (But I have done that same move with dozens of girls and most of them fall right into it… her, not as much.)
She was in no hurry to leave, so I kissed her several more times. Each time, 1% better, but never really bursting into a flame. It was my idea to walk her out. Good date, and I also assumed I’d see her again. We did some more back and forth as well and then… lead went dead.
It was not a sexy date, but she was a great girl. And went she went silent, it hurt a little…
(Before anyone gets the wrong idea – I am saying all this on purpose. I am a player. I get it. I am sharing all this – not for me – but for other guys that need to hear that even experienced guys go through stuff like this… and have real feelings attached to it all. That is very much the point of this post.)
…she was the beginning of the crash which is the larger theme of this essay.
In the space of 10 days, I had made out with a 18 year old and a 22 year old. Good pickups. Good dates. Good stories, I guess, right? Both, very pretty girls. It’s a remarkable thing to say… but even as the stats here are decent, they were both “dates to nowhere.”
And even for a man with experience… doubts seep in like water through the walls of a cave.
I was working hard and working well. I had expectations. They weren’t being met.
Here is yet another date with yet another girl…
Skinny, girl-next-door look, knee high stalkings, shorts, a silky shirt, nice long hair.
She said no to English. I asked her name, and she was resistant to telling me, but she didn’t go anywhere…
Interesting. She wasn’t giving me anything except that nervous smile.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) August 17, 2020
She obviously liked the pickup but was reluctant to let me move things along. I ended up giving her my card. And she actually contacted me – That (almost) never happens.
I GAVE HER MY CARD… and she actually followed up. Amazing.
Chatting now (all in Japanese.)
BUT I am not sure WHICH GIRL this is? I gave my card to two girls last week. And I don’t remember either of their names.
It’s a little crude to say, “Which one are you again?”
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) August 26, 2020
I moved her from email to a messaging app, set up a date, and…
She came out.
19 yr old introvert. Doesn’t speak English. Lives alone here in the city. Has a job at a wireless company. She’s had two boyfriends, didn’t even kiss the first one. She is not a virgin.
It was not an easy date, but I got us both to relax.
Who knows if she’ll come out again???
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) August 30, 2020
My impression of her: She is great looking little thing, but maybe also a little sad. Cute, nice girl, I liked her, I’d date her… but she has a kind of melancholy vibe. Quite literally, “a moody teenager.”
I invited her back to my place… but my heart wasn’t in it. She declined without giving the offer much thought. Later that night she sent me a very nice, enthusiastic “thank you!” (all on her own) and then…
I never heard from her again either.
These dates (and one more with yet another cute girl, maybe 23?) started to kill my vibe. Even as you’re “putting up some numbers” it can feel like it all amounts to nothing.
And sometimes it does amount to nothing. I was proving it could all amount to nothing.
But the truth is it’s not always supposed to work out. Not the pickups. Not the messaging. Not the dates. And this post is a reminder of the range of emptions that that truth can inspire in the life of a player.
“Those of us who are successful get rejected slightly less often than those who aren’t.”
If you want success, and you work for it, you’ll blast yourself in the face with so many opportunities the rejections will be hard to miss… it is not supposed to be easy.
Big storm came thru Japan today. It was raining BLOWOUTS… I got soaked.#DAYGAME
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) August 14, 2020
It’s part of the game.
But wait… there’s more.
After all that, there was one more event that helped knock me (temporarily) on my ass…
Tall, simple, hair up, had her mask down… as she had just bought something to drink.
She was dressed, terrible… baggy clothes, dumb shoes. I teased her about it… loved it.
Speaks English. Excellent convo. Interesting girl, grad student. Great set.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) August 23, 2020
Fantastic set ^. She spoke English. We had a great vibe. The messaging was on. We set a date for about four or five days out. I was very attracted to her and…
She ghosted. We had a confirmed date. She didn’t cancel… she just disappeared.
I am salty. I have seen it all. I have so much experience… but that flattened my tires.
She caught me off-guard. It was the “hard-flake”… but it was all the previous dates to nowhere and all the other girls that disappeared into of the void.
I am not complaining. I’m simply telling you what I felt at the time. I am detailing all this in solidarity with every other player that is out there, slugging away…
I have been there, my brothers.
But this wasn’t my first time in this kind of “deflated” situation. Specifically, I am thinking of the period just before I had my first ever daygame lay.
In August 2016, I wrote:
“Maybe things are finally shaking loose? Maybe I’m finally shaking loose?”
— Nash, Aug 2016
“Finally.” Can you hear the exhaustion in my voice in that quote? That is how I felt as my date ghosted in late August… that the “finally” couldn’t come fast enough.
It felt like I was a beginner again. But I was NOT. Four years and so many sets later, I am a 1000X better than I was back then. And this period was full of success, many great experiences, so many numbers. And all the dates with pretty girls not even half my age…
But all I could FEEL was that same worn-down impatience from the effort of reaching, emotionally, into “nothing.”
It is interesting to feel that same sense of “defeat” – even after all this time.
I have learned a lot since those beginner days.
Each time we push ourselves, we “expand what we are capable of.” It may still be hard, but it is easier to bounce back each time. This (I have learned) in my many days on the streets (and in the sheets).
Back in 2016 in my streak of frustration and disappointment, this is what I did:
“[F]or now, let’s just say that I decided I need to ‘lean back’ at every level. Tactically and internally… lean back, daygamer, lean back.”
— Nash, Aug 2016
In August this year I remembered that feeling and I knew I could draw from my past experiences.
So… I did that again this summer. I leaned back, relaxed. I worked out. I took care of business. I took a small trip out of town for two nights and had my first swim in the Japanese version of the Pacific ocean (that was a beautiful night). And then…
I came back refreshed. Mind and muscles “open” again – a better place from which to run Game. I felt better and eager to dive back into feminine waters.
It was about then, as I was preparing to write this post, that I came across this:
“‘Medals are won in training. Tournaments are just the places you pick them up.’
— JK Molina
That ^ line helped.
You don’t win in life at “the moment it all comes together.” You win over time – as as you assemble the hard-earned bits and pieces from those sparse periods when you were out working at it, learning the skills, laying the ground work for real success.
And you win when you prove you are strong enough to keep going.
It “keeps me honest” to start over – I get a solid reminder of what it’s like to be a “beginner” again. I know more. I know better. But… in many ways, I get to relive that phrase of my Game – and it’s good for me.
Some things never change.
THE SEASONS TURN
11 approaches back after I took that break, I met this girl:
“*136. Satama. Skinny, with hippy style. She was showing some belly. Low-slung bell-bottom jeans. I caught up with her downstairs. She hooked. No English at all, but a very good vibe. I got a boner in set, which never happens to me. Took her number, very on so far via text.”
— Nash, Sep 2020
This ^ girl was my 136th approach since I began my “daygame restart” back in July. And she hooked. And it was on… and she…
She is another story.
But for now…
It’s like this. It’s like all of this. The rustiness of starting over and warming up. The early victories. All the “work” of the middle. The disappointment. The self doubt… and the exaltation when the sun finally breaks through the clouds and the light comes pouring back into life.
“You don’t have to collapse. That is practice. Not to collapse – specifically when she is ‘insulting you,’ her rejection, pushing away, closure, creating combat, etc.”
— David Deida
Fight on, fellow Daygame Warriors. Take a break if you need it. Clear your lungs, but don’t collapse… push on. One more big push of effort to help you “make it across the river” and prove this is the man you really are.
I know it’s sometimes hard. I know… I have been there.
The TITLE of this post was inspired by a line from Magnum’s very excellent post about his threesome…
“I don’t write many lay reports because I find them boring.”
I do write some lay reports (even though I have skipped several in the last couple of years). But he is right. While they are important (and more interesting) from guys just climbing their way up, they are often formulaic and kind of boring for guys that have been there quite often.
So instead… THIS IS NOT A LAY REPORT.
And props to my friend Magnum for the inspiration.
Here is another approach that didn’t make the cut for this post:
Even in tough times, there are many things we still have to learn… we can often get some practice in:
I loved this little girl… also a “lead to nowhere,” but a fun approach:
Pancake… good to hear from you.
We are still nearly 100% mask (I don’t wear one). The girl I went on my art date with today doesn’t wear one (and she is a nurse) but that is remarkably rare (she wasn’t wearing one when I picked her up, either).
But game is working out. Just like what online is to daygame – once you open, it’s all just about the same.
Check your email, by the way!
This is variety and novelty played out in real life versus online porn consumption. The infinite data base of naked women has become desensitizing to the eye of the consumer. Less time spent on courting and chasing real woman and more on scrolling for the “imaginary perfect girls” which contributes to easy boredom, unrealistic expectations of the female body, and an easily discarded., Words have no meaning, toxic society.
What we’re doing is nothing like porn… Porn is a “one way” relationship, with men passively receiving images off a screen. It requires no “collaboration” with another human.
What we’re doing in Game is a two-way engagement, with real feedback, with women agreeing (because they like it) to play along (or nothing happens). Men are learning about women, about themselves, improving themselves socially… and very often growing up as they learn to lead women.
You cannot get good with women without actually developing and showing strength in real social interactions.
We know. We’re actually doing it.
Great to see you posting again after the break. You’re in the place you need to be…let the adventures continue
I have to admit I am a bit surprised by your behavior in this post and how you proceeded on both your dates with the 18 as well as the 22 year old. I say this because I read your wonderful post:
In the post above, you talked about the exact things I had been pondering for a while and having experimented quite a bit over the last few months since I read it I came a similar conclusion as you did in that post. In other words, you should go for sex as soon as possible, so on the first date…which is the same conclusion you came to as well…but I also want to add that you should also PUSH the interaction as MUCH as possible. You should NEVER be the one stopping the escalation. The girl should be the one pumping the breaks, NOT you.
That point I made will benefit you greatly because I believe in both the cases above you not only did not execute on the conclusions from your prior post, but you were also the limiting factor. I am not criticizing you by the way, I have “played it safe” many times because I didn’t want to “redline” the girl and figured I would see her again for a second date only to similarly have her ghost.
Redline is my term for pushing the girl way past what she is normally used to from other guys…you’ll know you’ve redlined a girl when she wants to leave rather than stay as you are continually trying to escalate (not constantly of course, using fractionation, stopping, talking, but yes escalating every 5-10 minutes).
The reason I say this, I have had around 11 dates since reading your post and out of these about 6 ghosted or flaked after the first date. I’ll talk about the ones that ghosted bc those are more important.
2 were shy girls but seemed to be having a great time (I did not even attempt to kiss them) and didn’t even attempt to pull them home after date…they ghosted (1 I believe was bc of the age gap, I am 38 and she was 25 and acted a bit weird when she found out my age…I look 30)
2 I kissed and we had a lot in common (beliefs and hobbies, lifestyle). I did not attempt to pull them thinking it was just the first date…they also ghosted…neither asked my age. I could have easily invited these girls home or at least tried…I never did though.
2 I kissed and just drove to my apartment. Both were surprised, but when with it. We came up, I put on some music, we sat on my bed (only place you can sit in my room) and I escalated within 2-5 minutes. Although they made-out, neither would let me undress them. I tried multiple times over a period of 30 minutes (calibrated) and both wanted to leave when I started undressing myself (my last ditch attempt).
The conclusions I came to after this small sample was that you should escalate as fast as possible and as much as possible because chances are most girls will ghost anyways…at least the ones you meet from cold approach.
I used to think that if you calibrated to the girl’s personality and vibe, you would have better chances of seeing her again, but I think that’s wishful thinking. The best way to see her again is to have her invest and she does that best by having sex with you. She can rationalize it later.
She should be the one telling you to stop and you should not be taking that at face value. I mean calibrate based on her sterness or lack thereof. Because out of the 11 total, I did fuck 3 of the girls on the first date by being very pushy. And 2 of those girls still ghosted…now you could argue that I was uncalibrated or blah blah blah reason, but I have a feeling those 2 would have ghosted anyway…but by being forward and pushy I had sex with them whereas some other dude would not have. Again, my belief is that they would have ghosted anyway, sex or no sex, they still would have ghosted.
I am also changing my thoughts on how LONG the date needs to be in order to get laid. I believe the length of the date does not matter that much…if she is down to have sex she will and if she is not down, she won’t. You spending another hour on top of the 30 minutes on the coffee date is not going to magically get her to have sex with you. Similar to how in most cases the girl is either receptive to your approach or she immediately blows you out. Talking to her 2-3 minutes and asking for her number vs talking to 10-15 minutes and asking for her number…if she is open to it she will give it in 2-3 minutes and if not 10 more minutes will not magically change it.
Also another big error is to assume it’s “your game” that is the reason you lost those girls. It is not your game, but your lack of forwardness (pushiness). I have been in this for 19 years and I notice the more pushy you are, the better your results. Girls like it. It’s a sign that you are genetically superior to most guys…an alpha…a guy who give zero fucks about what others think and go for what you want.
First of all… I already know how to “push it as far as possible.” Right? I bet you do to. So once you’ve done that 50 times… you know what that is good for and what it isn’t.
It is not, in fact, always good. We teach this to beginners (sometimes), but for a full grown seducer…
I am thinking of other paths… where you don’t always jump all over a given moment. You do escalate. You do make a move. You do prove that point. And then… you release her (if that makes sense), leave her wanting more, and next time… it’s more solid.
You can see these girls know I know how to move things along. I’m not shy.
I have had four girls in my apartment this year (that is low… it’s been a weird year), and two of them I had first night sex with and two I “released.”
The HIGHSCHOOL GIRL… I was trying to make sure she wanted it… because she is in HS and (at least) 29 years younger than me. If she came back on her own… it would be proof of something.
The other girl… she really wasn’t that into it. It wasn’t that on. Maybe it would have been if I dragged her down to the bed… but… we’ll never know.
So… I am playing with all that. I know how to have fast sex. I know how to escalate. What else is there? And certainly some girls are WON by knowing other moves besides “just fuck her bro” (which I used to call the “duct tape” answer of Game… as it is applied to everything).
I did that MEGA POST on Mystery and his SEVEN HOURS… I like a lot of what Mystery is saying there… “seven hours.” My two first date lays were less than 3 hours with the girl each… I get it… but I already know the rapid close… I’m working on seeing other possibilities.
I don’t agree (anymore) that you should always push as far as possible. You will “flip the car” that way (credit: Krauser) and blow yourself out with many girls that see you as a bullshit teenager in terms of your skill/subtlety. And I don’t think she should EVER hit the breaks… I should see that, read her, and give her the experience of knowing that I know. But I hear you…
With these girls… maybe there was more available. There often is. Maybe (and this is more important), maybe it would have been a good thing if I pushed it further (beyond the notch, like actually a good thing for her and I).
Maybe. Maybe not.
Maybe I wouldn’t have had sex… AND she/I would have had a bad experience. Maybe I would have given a HS girl a bad experience, and had hell to pay later…
But we’ll never know.
It did not seem so in these 2 cases.
This is what I was saying by it being wishful thinking. Yeah, you would think it would “be more solid” but what I’ve seen is that the girl still ghosts…maybe bc I go for the pull on the 1st date…and even if I don’t push em, I still got them home and in my bed and they know that next time, I will still want fast sex…so they will ghost. To me, it’s like, “Ok, we are in my bed now and isolated, so why did you even agree to come over? What did you think was going to happen?”
I see this as a rationalization on your part. To me this whole, “I know how to push, but won’t bc I don’t want to ‘flip the car'” is reflective of low volume and scarcity. If you had 20 numbers in your phone and 8 other dates planned out would you really play it safe and slow?
Has the going slower route worked better for you? I have tried building more solid connection and taking it slower, but I have still had girls ghost…it is a small sample size but it didn’t seem to make much of a difference.
Have you ever had those “perfect first dates” and the girl still ghosts? Like you meet a girl, you instadate her and she thinks you are “so confident” and “amazing” and you can see she admires the way you confidently approached her and led her to a coffee shop…you connect and build rapport with her and think, “This is solid.” and then you can’t pull her home due to some logistical barrier but think you will see her again…and then she ghosts…but how? It seemed so solid…she was so in awe and liked you a lot…nope, ghosted. Had this happen many times too.
This is what I am saying, I don’t see that much of a difference between flipping the car as you say or playing it slow and solid. This is why I say push as far a possible, burn the bridges, flip the car, because even if you drive safely you end up in the same place…your 2 examples above are living proof.
Yeah… I know what you think. And I think you will blow yourself out that way, as that is clearly the only way you think it should go.
And some girls have met more sophisticated men than that. Men with more tools than that.
Those men exist and the girls know it. And those girls won’t want “push it as far as you can,” not at all, and when that is all you’ve got… THEN YOU GET blown out… for being a “one trick pony.”
And she’ll be right… she can do better than that.
Not always… but often.
I get out blown out too. And we mostly NEVER KNOW WHY.
But “burning bridges” and “flipping the car” is going to give a LOT OF GIRLS bad experiences. I have fucked a lot of girls. I am not afraid to escalate. But “make the ho’ say no” is some unsophisticated meathead game. I reject it.
If you like that… there are plenty of blogs for you… but this isn’t one of them.
I know you do. And all I hear from you is “just fuck her bro.” And that’s cool, dude. Go for it. Crush every girl with escalation. It sounds perfect for you. You got exactly one tool and you’re sticking to it.
Keep going, man. It’s all you.
No… I said there is more than one tool available. Not for you. You know exactly one thing, and one thing only… but for other guys… and for MANY GIRLS… “plow to sex” is uncalibrated.
Especially when you’re NOT even in the situation yet, and you have ALREADY DECIDED what is best. That is the definition of uncalibrated. You don’t care about the where the girl is at, the situation, even where YOU are at – you have a plan, ONE SIZE FITS ALL… “just fuck her bro.” I, personally, have more options than that.
Most girls have MUCH MORE EXPERIENCE than we have as guys. They have seen “plow” before, believe me… that is very basic strategy. Takes ZERO talent. If she likes you, she’ll welcome it. If she is checking you out…
It’s not smooth.
Oh, yeah. It is perfectly clear what you think.
You think “you came back, so that means you’re ready for me to escalate endlessly.” And that is… going to be fine, some % of the time. And the rest of the time… girls are going to see you for what you are… a guy that knows exactly NOTHING more than, “make the ho’ say no.”
I mean, come on, right? She came back?? That means “girl must fuck,” right? LOL. Listen to yourself, dude.
Girls live in the Land of Maybe. They make decisions moment by moment based on how they FEEL. She felt like coming back. Then what? Maybe she isn’t sure. Maybe you look like a horny, uncalibrated teenager all of sudden, so… now she is less into it. And that is you.
And then you Mr Plow tell her “why did you even come back if you didn’t want to fuck?? I mean like, c’mon.” And THEN she is like, “Oh… I see what you’re like… never mind, I’m out.”
That girl MIGHT have fucked a different guy, but you? Guys that see this whole dance in reductive terms like “well, she came back so… she MUST FUCK.” Seriously dude… you think that is attractive? You sound terrible to me. I wouldn’t even wing with a guy like you.
It’s not about fucking or not fucking. It’s about being more smooth than what you’re putting out here. And it’s about growing beyond beginner comments you’d read on Facebook or reddit.
I reject it. I know more is available.
And I can hear your POV from total beginners. Guys that know exactly nothing about girls say what you’re saying – am I wrong? And, “just fuck her” is perfect… especially when that is was she wants. But if she is not sure…
She is going to need a guy to walk her into it. And it won’t necessarily be the first time she is in your pad. And it won’t be great when you CAN’T READ HER and just plow… because that is all you know how to do.
If you hear NO, it’s because you misread the situation. That is fact.
Hearing NO isn’t a bad thing. It’s not a deal breaker, most of the time. But waiting until you hear NO is admitting you cant read a girl… and that is all you’ve got.
It’s “LEVEL ONE” beginner game, dude. Right? You said you’ve been in Game a long time, right? You heard that line early, right? I did. And I am quite sure that isn’t our only option.
And I have more experience now, and I know more is possible.
If this is all you’ve got… take it someplace else. I can get this “insight” from page one beginner shit.
You are very triggered by my comments. You keep mentioning “more is possible” Ok, then enlighten me.
What are these tools in your toolbox?
I’m not triggered… I’m rejecting your argument.
And the main reason I am doing it – isn’t to convince you. It’s for other guys reading it. I’m critique your comments for them. Because I want this blog to be more than a ridiculous rehash of “just fuck her bro, why didn’t you fuck her???” I have been having that conversation with “less than sophisticated guys” for almost 20 years. It is a very “basic bro” read of our options… and I want guys to see that.
I’m not at all impressed with your argument that I need to push every interaction with a girl until she says “no,” and that “we might as well, they ghost anyway.” I think that is at best, amateur game. That position itself isn’t even vaguely attractive. Particularly – and I’ll say it again – as you have already decided what is best… and you don’t care about the girl or the situation.
To not care about the girl, the context – or even your own strengths/weakness in the moment – to always have the same “basic bro” plan no matter what… is shit game.
Knowing that it is shit game… is one of the tools to having better than shit game.
Being curious that there are tools, that as you grow (if you grow?) you will see thing that tweak the plan… that is the first step. Maybe you are taking a step forward by consider that “just fuck her bro” isn’t always the best move.
If your choice is ONLY to “make the ‘ho say no,” and that is all you are curious about… that is the limit of your consciousness… that is all you have learned from girls and game… if you show the girl that is the best you can offer her… you wouldn’t notice any other tools or options if they were available.
In EVERY SEDUCTION: There is the guy (his skills/talents/experince/momentum), the girl (her needs/background/arousal) and the context of where he/she are at. From those three elements… we calibrate to the moment.
There is a LOT there… if you care to look.
“I said my goodbyes to her at around 11pm. The texting increased significantly after this date, she told me later that evening that I was much nicer this time around and that she liked me more this way. “Perhaps PULL, PULL, PULL is not always the best strategy”, I told myself.”
— Roy Walker
Often it is, but not always.
I think we should do things that give BOTH ourselves and the girl a good experience. Otherwise we are running around giving ourselves/girls bad experiences… and that isn’t why I got into Game.
So that is always RULE #1 for me. Might be fast sex. Might not be.
No disrespect… I know you are repeating “common knowledge” here but that stuff is meathead BS. Clueless beginner garbage.
Lots of girls will have sex and ghost. Let’s start there. For 1000X reasons. It’s one of the first big secrets successful players learn – is that girl fuck you and bail. You’ll see a lot of it.
“Sex = her investing” is just a dumb point, it’s not a “rich” way to look at game or girls. It’s not.
I can sometimes “unlock” a girl, IF I GIVE HER A GOOD EXPERIENCE, and that leads to sex, and the SEX IS A GOOD EXPERIENCE, and THAT OPENS HER UP… AND THEN WE HAVE A BREAKTHRU… AND SHE SURRENDERS…
That is possible. I have seen it. Sex can open doors. But notice how many IFs I put in that description.
NO… her having sex with you, especially if you “push it as hard as you can” won’t get her to “invest” or bond. Rarely.
It’s just overly simplified beginner nonsense. That isn’t how it works – I don’t care how many guys say it.
If INVESTMENT is important (and I agree it is), Mystery’s Seven Hours is much closer to the truth than “just fuck her bro” to get her to invest.
Backwards rationalization is total garbage… forget that idea, it won’t help you.
“Telling her what she wants to hear” – or trying to, in some horny, manipulative way – is bad Game.
So I calibrate (always), but I also lead, I build the situation… and then I MAKE HER FEEL SOMETHING. If I can’t, she might want me, but it’ll be for weird reasons (like telling her friends, or whatever).
You can try this “push it far a possible” in all situations… but you’ll end up giving a bunch of girls a bad time and you’ll get laid… and won’t even be fun.
So… the “art” of it all matters.
Woah, easy tiger, don’t get so triggered. I said it was the best way bc she has tons of guys that are orbiting her, but she is fucking only 1 or 2…and yes, just because you fuck her that doesn’t guarantee you will see her again, but it is your best shot…you think by having a solid connection with you she is investing more than by having sex with you?
Yes I agree.
No it’s not. You think that by playing it slow and building a connection is better? Pfffffttt.
Notice you said “sometimes”. This is not a regular thing. Yes sometimes you can just connect with a girl and it’s so “easy” but it’s not easily replicable.
This is not what I said.
In my mind if she comes back to my place she should know why she came back. If she is not down, then she should have declined and not come back or had me take her home. It’s like we are wasting time.
My point is that I have not experienced a big difference between building a strong connection and just pushing it. To be fair, I have not done Mystery’s 7 hours but that is not the frame I want to establish…to me that sets up a BF dynamic where she expects a relationship and I am going more for plate formation to where she knows we are not going to be exclusive and won’t be seeing each other more than 1-2 times a week and when we do it’s more for sex. I get the feeling you are more “romantic” about it.
I wanted to add that as soon as most guys go on a dry streak they start to question their game, but it’s not their game…it is the randomness of game. Some days I go 5/10…I get 5 numbers out of 10 and some days I get 0/8…same with sex…some months I get 3 to 4 different girls and some I get 0. Has 0 to do with my game, my mood, my looks, etc. and everything to do with the randomness of this.
This I can agree with.
Sometimes… it IS my Game (or my vibe). But you can “catch a bad streak” of girls. And that can cause doubts… maybe it’s just a “bad coin flip.” Nothing to over-think.
“I made an 18 year old girl moan for me that night.”
18 is a number that young girls use. Some 18 year olds are actually 17, later when they confide. Then years later they will confide that actually it was 16.
Very many girls think that being too young is a turn off, and hide their age.
I have thought about this a lot since you posted it…
There is a chance that girl wasn’t even 18.
As I was screening her, I made her send me a photo with no makeup, and she did… and… she could easily be 16 in that shot.
I will assume she was 18. She said so, explicitly – I do not date underaged girls. Not now, not ever.
But yeah… girls lie all the time about all kinds of things. There is no helping that.
Either way… what an amazing thing that girls will say yes to each step, the pickup, the messaging (and I tested her there), the date, coming back, stepping into the kiss… at “18”, with a guy she barely knows, who is 30 years older, and from another country… just walked right into my place, under no pretext but the date itself.
These little girls… still surprise me what they are capable of.
I wonder and guess, very speculatively, if one reason some girls don’t show up for more dates, is that you personally are not looking to pair bond at this point in your life.
My experience is that pair bonding can happen quickly and be very addictive. I’ve read that some people fall in love extremely fast. That’s me, and I suppose some would see that as a pathology or a philosophical error. But it’s always worked very well in my favor. That’s obviously not advice; you can’t advise someone to be something they are not.
I’m just guessing that women have ulterior motives, and casual sex is way down on their list of priorities.
You know… girls almost never, ever try to “have the talk” with me. Like never. They get what I am.
And I am not “black motor cycle jacket” guy. I am sensitive, I treat them well…
But girls can tell a guy with a lot of experience… those are the guys they have met the most… so they know.
I like that you can bond so fast. It’s a cool part of your Game. I know that part of your story.
And I wouldn’t not call what I do “casual sex.” It’s not in the context of monogamy, or commitment, but I have been in love with many of these girls, and they have been in love with me. So I’m not a “boyfriend,” but I am a “Lover” in the French sense of the term… and I don’t aim to be “casual.” I am for something RICH and that is often what I get.
Hey Nash, I’m wondering about the time commitment it takes to become a solid daygamer. Is there a lean way to integrate approaching (e.g. en route to doing errands) into daily life?
I’m wondering if it’s possible to become better while balancing other important stuff in my life (maintaining career, learning jazz piano, etc.).
Hey man. Fair question.
I don’t really think so… but it depends on what your starting point is.
I actually had a good starting point: 20+ lays before daygame, I’d had multiple LTRs (I had lived with 4 dif girls), girls that wanted to marry me, etc. But I was caught up in “soft modern man” disease, I had a lot of limiting beliefs, I needed to work all that out. Even as I had studied cold approach and Game, I still didn’t have it down… I couldn’t take a number in a solid way. I looked like an amateur (and rookies aren’t sexy, not at all).
Taking the number is a good personal example:
— As a beginner, let’s say 1:3 girls I talked to would stop
— Of the girls that stopped, maybe I could flow conversationally with 1:3 or 1:5
— So 3 approaches to get a girl to stop, 5 stops to get a good convo
== 15 approaches before I asking the phone number made sense
(Beginner stats… I take numbers 1:4 approaches now)
And I sucked actually taking the number in a cool, confident way. It’s not hard to ask for number, but to TRUST YOURSELF as you do it, that… is trickier. The #1 thing she is looking at is “DO YOU TRUST YOURSELF.” That takes time to PROVE to yourself you’re solid.
So every 10-15 girls, I would get to practice: “Hey, maybe we should get a drink sometime?” (That is not how I do it now, but that is how I did it then). And since I sucked, especially at the point when it mattered… she would back off, or give me the number, and not respond or not come out. So back to the approaching.
100 approaches later… I had asked for 8-12 numbers.
Now: If I did that in a week… I was learning. Right. That is solid work rate. But if I spread that out over 2 months… I was DEAD COLD each time, hard to build momentum. Same approaches, but not the same “momentum” of learning.
This is some of the MATH behind why VOLUME is important until you have really “made it.”
100 approaches, min, per month, if you want to really improve. I was doing closer to 200 a month when I was really ramping up. I strongly recommend 200 approaches a month (that was the daygame.com standard).
Now… I am at about 100 month (with covid etc). And since I did 4 approaches yesterday, and I am messaging 3-4 girls (at least) on an average week… and I have a TON of success… and… most importantly I TRUST MYSELF… I can go a little slower. I can “cherry pick” sets, instead of really running solid volume.
I am pretty good, even when I haven’t run a lot of sets recently. My “starting momentum” is high, much higher than it was when I was a beginner.
But even then… if I want to date, and get past the CHAOS of life/women, for me, where things naturally fall apart, the answer is dedication. It’s VOLUME. It’s 200 girls a month.
And that is a META LESSON, because that says something about your character. You don’t leave it to chance. That makes you an attractive man… and helps you TRUST YOURSELF, so then she can as well.
You get it?
I am not pushing it hard right now, as I am in class 25 hours a week, running my consulting business, and really trying to launch a real side project. That is great for my LIFE, but it is EXCUSES for the side of me that is a seducer.
So what do you want? How bad to you want it?
Krauser. Me. My buddy RunnerDaygame. Etc, etc… we really wanted it. And we worked and we got it done. For each of us… “dabbling” would not have gotten the job done. We would have sucked forever… and probably have given up before we “made it.”
If you put in 50% of the effort you don’t get 50% of the results… you get 5% of the results. I really think it’s like that. Success in game is geometric.
Until you are habitually good (which is saying a lot), you have a lot to prove.
— Don’t wish it was easier
— Wish you were better
And then go do the work. It’ll take real time and effort, but for me… it was totally worth it. I have so many stories, man. I have known so many extraordinary girls. I have a date on Saturday… and I really looking forward to it.
My side project is a reflection of that same ethic. It is so hard. It’s expensive. I constantly have to give it effort… but in the end my business will make it while some other guy’s will not.
That is how life works. Girls want guys that “get it done.” I am that kind of man. I have proved it myself already.
Go get it. Do it. Ask questions (here and other places). I am happy to support you…
But yeah… extraordinary lives are not build on ordinary effort.
Thanks for the reply, that makes sense. It sounds a lot like my friend’s “boiling point” theory: to make a pot of water boil, you can’t just add small amounts of heat sporadically. You have to dump consistent heat over an extended period of time to see results.
I’ve restarted my daygame journey in SF, and one blocker so far has been volume. During the week, I usually try and make a daily “jaunt” in my neighborhood during lunch/early afternoon. Not sure whether it’s covid, the time of day, or my shitty hood (Civic Center) but I’m just not seeing many chicks.
Do you have recommendations for either quick (~1 hour) weekday daytime venues, longer (few hours) weekday nighttime venues, or extended (all-day) weekend venues for daygame?