Oct 03 2020 10/03/2020 10/03/2020 28Comments by Nash

Daygame Restart – This is Not a Lay Report

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After I moved to Japan in December, I settled in and did about 20 approaches in January, I met Miss Happy, and dated her all through the months of this year when this city was a desperate ghost town.

As my city opened up a little, I wanted to get back to what I love more than almost anything else… the experience of meeting girls and bringing them into my life.

I wanted to run some daygame again.

While it was great to be back in the game… this is the story of the time before all that worked out. This story (like others on this blog) is from a stretch of days where I was out grinding away, working with the approaches, numbers, dates… in search of triumph that (at the time of this post) had not yet materialized.

I did over 100 approaches in July/August/September and then… I burned out. And then… I got going again. Even for a guy like me that has “been around the block” (quite literally) a few times, Daygame is like that.

This is that story. And this is not a lay report.

PICKING UP GIRLS (AGAIN)

Despite the time of forced social hibernation, it wasn’t hard to once again shake the rust off. I was back on my feet quickly… doing what I have always done, but I also made some new additions to how I meet girls.

For example: I have been doing my consulting work in the afternoons from a cafe that has some seats that face a path with a heavy flow of foot traffic. I sit there, behind floor-to-ceiling windows, do my work and… watch the girls go by.

I have called that spot “The Fish Bowl.” It feels like it: sitting in a fish bowl, looking out, with the girls watching me watching them.

From there I can chase down any given girl that catches my eye. It’s been a new innovation for my Game. And it’s been working.

Some snapshots from this summer:

I remember her. I took that number and she responded easily. She spoke English. She sent me pics of her art. It felt “on.” I asked her out, and…

Gone. Never heard from her again. It happens. (More often than not, actually.)

Beautiful moment.

It’s inspiring to run back through these notes…

Here is another:

She had a strong sexuality and a wonderful calm, familiar confidence. I came at her more direct. We looked each other up and down, took in each other’s value as “players” in the SMP… and then… released.

She has danced before. So have I.

Here is another:

“She would just stand there and stare. In a trance.” Hypnotized. Makes me feel a like a wizard.

I intentionally took down all the little details for this period so I could document the process once again.

This girl… Wow.

I had many “single serving” love affairs with these girls… but like her, most of these moments were more like a spark than real connection. Small flirtatious fires fading as quickly as they began.

Talking to girls is fun. And so it was… and yet, I have already said that eventually my enthusiasm in this period would be tested.

But before I crashed… I did get some of these little girls out on dates.

THE DATES

My dates here start with this one:

Of course this girl is easy to remember. It was a very good set. Sexual and the vibe was on.

As she was still in high school, I decided to screen over over text before I asked her out. I pushed her away a bit. I made sure she knew I was dangerous, but she was eager to meet. And she came out.

It was a good night and a great makeout. I made an 18 year old girl moan for me that night.

She had an early day the next day, and it seemed really on, so I didn’t push it past that. I probably could have gotten her naked, but I assumed I’d see her again…

We messaged several times after that. We set a date and then… she “hard-flaked.” “No call, no show.” I was surprised, but she is a high school girl… losing her was probably a good thing.

Now a different girl, one week later:

Great chemistry and she touched me in all on her own (very rare) – it was on. She came out… and she was awesome. Very “healthy,” happy, well-adjusted, charming girl.

After dinner (a two-minute walk from my apartment), I invited her back to my place, she said “yes” with no hesitation.

The vibe was casual, but as I had her in my place I made my move:

I stepped in and kissed her. And she kissed me back. Afterward, she showed some surprise and said, “woah, what happened?” I have a perfect image of that moment in my head right now. In a way, she was saying: “That came out of nowhere.” And, she is right, it did. (But I have done that same move with dozens of girls and most of them fall right into it… her, not as much.)

She was in no hurry to leave, so I kissed her several more times. Each time, 1% better, but never really bursting into a flame. It was my idea to walk her out. Good date, and I also assumed I’d see her again. We did some more back and forth as well and then… lead went dead.

It was not a sexy date, but she was a great girl. And went she went silent, it hurt a little…

(Before anyone gets the wrong idea – I am saying all this on purpose. I am a player. I get it. I am sharing all this – not for me – but for other guys that need to hear that even experienced guys go through stuff like this… and have real feelings attached to it all. That is very much the point of this post.)

…she was the beginning of the crash which is the larger theme of this essay.

In the space of 10 days, I had made out with a 18 year old and a 22 year old. Good pickups. Good dates. Good stories, I guess, right? Both, very pretty girls. It’s a remarkable thing to say… but even as the stats here are decent, they were both “dates to nowhere.”

And even for a man with experience… doubts seep in like water through the walls of a cave.

I was working hard and working well. I had expectations. They weren’t being met.

Here is yet another date with yet another girl…

She obviously liked the pickup but was reluctant to let me move things along. I ended up giving her my card. And she actually contacted me – That (almost) never happens.

I moved her from email to a messaging app, set up a date, and…

She came out.

My impression of her: She is great looking little thing, but maybe also a little sad. Cute, nice girl, I liked her, I’d date her… but she has a kind of melancholy vibe. Quite literally, “a moody teenager.”

I invited her back to my place… but my heart wasn’t in it. She declined without giving the offer much thought. Later that night she sent me a very nice, enthusiastic “thank you!” (all on her own) and then…

I never heard from her again either.

These dates (and one more with yet another cute girl, maybe 23?) started to kill my vibe. Even as you’re “putting up some numbers” it can feel like it all amounts to nothing.

And sometimes it does amount to nothing. I was proving it could all amount to nothing.

But the truth is it’s not always supposed to work out. Not the pickups. Not the messaging. Not the dates. And this post is a reminder of the range of emptions that that truth can inspire in the life of a player.

“Those of us who are successful get rejected slightly less often than those who aren’t.”
— Scoundrel

100%.

If you want success, and you work for it, you’ll blast yourself in the face with so many opportunities the rejections will be hard to miss… it is not supposed to be easy.

It’s part of the game.

But wait… there’s more.

THE CRASH

After all that, there was one more event that helped knock me (temporarily) on my ass…

Fantastic set ^. She spoke English. We had a great vibe. The messaging was on. We set a date for about four or five days out. I was very attracted to her and…

She ghosted. We had a confirmed date. She didn’t cancel… she just disappeared.

I am salty. I have seen it all. I have so much experience… but that flattened my tires.

She caught me off-guard. It was the “hard-flake”… but it was all the previous dates to nowhere and all the other girls that disappeared into of the void.

I am not complaining. I’m simply telling you what I felt at the time. I am detailing all this in solidarity with every other player that is out there, slugging away…

I have been there, my brothers.

But this wasn’t my first time in this kind of “deflated” situation. Specifically, I am thinking of the period just before I had my first ever daygame lay.

In August 2016, I wrote:

“Maybe things are finally shaking loose? Maybe I’m finally shaking loose?”
— Nash, Aug 2016

“Finally.” Can you hear the exhaustion in my voice in that quote? That is how I felt as my date ghosted in late August… that the “finally” couldn’t come fast enough.

It felt like I was a beginner again. But I was NOT. Four years and so many sets later, I am a 1000X better than I was back then. And this period was full of success, many great experiences, so many numbers. And all the dates with pretty girls not even half my age…

But all I could FEEL was that same worn-down impatience from the effort of reaching, emotionally, into “nothing.”

It is interesting to feel that same sense of “defeat” – even after all this time.

RISING AGAIN

I have learned a lot since those beginner days.

Each time we push ourselves, we “expand what we are capable of.” It may still be hard, but it is easier to bounce back each time. This (I have learned) in my many days on the streets (and in the sheets).

Back in 2016 in my streak of frustration and disappointment, this is what I did:

“[F]or now, let’s just say that I decided I need to ‘lean back’ at every level. Tactically and internally… lean back, daygamer, lean back.”
— Nash, Aug 2016

In August this year I remembered that feeling and I knew I could draw from my past experiences.

So… I did that again this summer. I leaned back, relaxed. I worked out. I took care of business. I took a small trip out of town for two nights and had my first swim in the Japanese version of the Pacific ocean (that was a beautiful night). And then…

I came back refreshed. Mind and muscles “open” again – a better place from which to run Game. I felt better and eager to dive back into feminine waters.

It was about then, as I was preparing to write this post, that I came across this:

“‘Medals are won in training. Tournaments are just the places you pick them up.’
— JK Molina

That ^ line helped.

You don’t win in life at “the moment it all comes together.” You win over time – as as you assemble the hard-earned bits and pieces from those sparse periods when you were out working at it, learning the skills, laying the ground work for real success.

And you win when you prove you are strong enough to keep going.

It “keeps me honest” to start over – I get a solid reminder of what it’s like to be a “beginner” again. I know more. I know better. But… in many ways, I get to relive that phrase of my Game – and it’s good for me.

Some things never change.

THE SEASONS TURN

11 approaches back after I took that break, I met this girl:

“*136. Satama. Skinny, with hippy style. She was showing some belly. Low-slung bell-bottom jeans. I caught up with her downstairs. She hooked. No English at all, but a very good vibe. I got a boner in set, which never happens to me. Took her number, very on so far via text.”
— Nash, Sep 2020

This ^ girl was my 136th approach since I began my “daygame restart” back in July. And she hooked. And it was on… and she…

She is another story.

But for now…

It’s like this. It’s like all of this. The rustiness of starting over and warming up. The early victories. All the “work” of the middle. The disappointment. The self doubt… and the exaltation when the sun finally breaks through the clouds and the light comes pouring back into life.

“You don’t have to collapse. That is practice. Not to collapse – specifically when she is ‘insulting you,’ her rejection, pushing away, closure, creating combat, etc.”
— David Deida

Fight on, fellow Daygame Warriors. Take a break if you need it. Clear your lungs, but don’t collapse… push on. One more big push of effort to help you “make it across the river” and prove this is the man you really are.

I know it’s sometimes hard. I know… I have been there.

Viva Daygame.

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