Dedicated to Jenny // More Stats
These notes are little old now… but I’ll post them to share.
This batch of hustle was motivated by this girl I met on the street recently. I dated her once. I couldn’t get her out again quickly, and I think I ended up over-gaming her via text, trying to keep some momentum between she/I until I could see her again. She was never a strong lead, but I liked her, and the date. I blew it with gamey text stuff. Especially ironic as I was bragging about some text stuff I’d done w/ her… which I think was fine. But when I went at it again, it was too much. Oh well, she’s done. Back to the drawing board.
So that week, I hit the streets to drum up some more leads, and I did it “in her honor.” This was me playing with the disappointment and lack of results, and trying to channel that disappointment in a positive way into the next round of approaches, leads and dates. My life situation is certainly no girls fault.
Her name wasn’t Jenny, but let’s say I hit the streets with the idea that the days grind was “Dedicated to Jenny.” It felt good, actually. “Jenny, this one is for you!”
It’s interesting how we make sense out of all the failure and frustration. This is me doing just that. Onward and upward.
Apr28: 1. Was on my way to lunch, saw her — Taiwanese girl taking touristy pictures. Language student. She was timid, but it was a good set. I have been focused on getting physically closer in my sets, and I did that several times w/ her. Including once, when I said that I wanted to visit Taiwan, because “Taiwanese girls were cute” and stepped into her space as I said it. Her eyes popped, she giggled, stepped back, and we went back into rapport. Took her number, she was texting back/forth right away. 2. Oddly dressed little Asian girl. Long dress, flight jacket, boots, super-cropped bangs. I opened her and she stopped nicely. I guessed she was an art student, and she is — film. At one point she had me guess where she’s from, and I guessed Taiwan, and… I was right again, she couldn’t believe it (mostly luck on my part, and the influence of the other Taiwanese girl earlier that day). Took her FB. She/I are chatting. 3. Asian girl w/ yoga mat, and great legs. Fucking great legs… I can still see them in my head. Good talk. Her — timid, backing up, but liking it. Her English was really bad… I could have number closed, but it looked like too much work to talk to her. 4. Really, really attractive little one, dressed up. Whitegirl, turned out to be Russian. She was pulling her coat over her little shoulders, and I told her she looked like she was hiding herself, “like a secret.” Her English wasn’t great. I asked where she was off to and she said, “To cinema wiss my husband.” Oh! I let her go. 5. Asian girl, nice eyes. Opened her. Flat conversation. I let her go.
So two very good sets that day w/ the two Taiwanese girls. Made me feel better about my other leads drying up and going nowhere. I dated the first one already… might have something with her again soon, very responsive via text. I had a date set up w/ the 2nd one, but she cancelled, said she was sick. Uhhh. More disappointment — and celibacy! Fuck the celibacy part.
As an aside, I’ve been trying “do we know each other?” sometimes in set. I live in a big city, but I clearly have a certain type of girl I like (Asian girls), I hunt in the same area mostly, and I have opened the same girl more than once before in the past (which I’m vaguely proud of — I know what I like!). Based on the look in the girls eyes, and some kind of feeling in my gut, I have been throwing out “do we know each other?” or “have we met before?” in some sets as a way to cover for when I have, in fact, opened that girl before. It flows pretty nice in set, and I can stack to how talking to her “feels like” we already know each other when I’m wrong. Sometimes it does feel like I know the girl, even when I don’t.
Apr29. Had my date with #1 from Apr28. Day date, tea in the afternoon. Went well, I think. I liked her. Tried to kiss her twice, she wasn’t having it, but I’m glad I made that attempt — most of all, because I genuinely wanted to kiss that girl. She’s kissable. I felt hungover or sick or something (I didn’t know which, at the time), but ran two more sets after the date, to keep the routine alive. 1. Lovely little Asian girl, w/ a camera and a shopping bag — thought she was a tourist, she was not. Chatted her up, pretty flat, so I let her go. 2. Very good looking Asian girl… I weaseled at first, then double-taked on her, and we caught eyes, I walked a bit further away and went back in. She opened pretty well. Pretty flat until I mentioned dancing. Okay for a minute… but not much there. I let it go.
That’s seven sets total for that week… not enough! I was sick that week, and the beginning of this week, but still. I know I need to get my volume up. Having my face fucked up from a dermatology appointment, and then being sick again, is fucking with available days to grind the streets. Baby Jesus needs to give me a fucking break over here. Maybe this week! C’mon Baby Jesus, let’s do this!
Viva Daygame.
Hey, when you threw out the “Do we know each other?” line, was that the first thing you said after stopping them? I’ve definitely gamed the same girls twice and it’s awkward every time. They usually call me out and it fucks up my sarge.
>> gamed the same girls twice
This happens to me all the time. Many times, man. I think this is just part of daygame.
>> Hey, when you threw out the “Do we know each other?” line, was that the first thing you said after stopping them?
Sometimes… sometimes I say that on the open. Sometimes because she looks familiar. Very often I say it because of a look on her face… Like I say, “Hey…” and then I see a look and I follow up “do we know each other?,” and a big smile. Sometimes I’m wrong, I don’t know her. And that looks just means something else.
And when I’m wrong… it’s not a bad way to open. There used to be a classic “cheesy bar line” (80s game) that the guy would say, “have I seen you here before?” I don’t think that’s cheesy, I think it’s fine. I think it could be a legit opener, even if you don’t know her… because it assumes familiarity.
Sometimes I’m correct. I do know her, and then… MOST TIMES that goes just fine. Several times she’s been more into me the 2nd time. I sometimes say, “See?! You’re my type,” and I smile.
Last week I opened a girl I’ve opened before… and she says, “We’ve met before.” I say, “Okay, cool… how did we leave that.” And she says, “I still have a BF.” I said, okay, great. And smiled and walked away.
Not a big deal.
But…
I did have one of the worst experiences lately. Opened a girl… I think it was the 3rd time. And this time, I followed her into a store (which I almost never do… but works fine). In this case, I saw her upstairs, and as soon as I saw her face I knew she was 1.) Not surprised, because she recognizes me and maybe even saw me on the street before I followed her inside. And 2.) She was not happy about it.
This is not my goal… but it will happen sometimes.
As soon as I saw that look I said, “Oh, we’ve met before, haven’t we?” She was like, “Yeah.” Not a happy look on her face. I said, “Cool, have a nice day” and walked out. 5 seconds of her time.
So that sucks. And it did fuck with my state… but so what, man.
I’m not trying to pick on the poor girl. I’m a totally calibrated guy, and when I see she is unhappy, I know to bail (1st meeting, 2nd meeting, doesn’t matter.. she’s unhappy, I bail).
The fucked up part is… I will probably see her again. I’ll probably approach her again. And I know she won’t like it.
It’ll only be 5 seconds of her day.. but I don’t know what to do about it? I don’t know her well enough to recognize her. I have met her 3 times now (at least), but total time is less than 2 minutes, and this over 6 months… no way I can remember that girl. I talk to 100+ girls a month, easily.
So it’ll happen again, I bet.
So be it.
I’m here to give girls good experiences, but this is an occupational hazard and I don’t know how to avoid it… she is my type, not so noticeable to be unique that I can tell her apart from other girls that are my type.
So I have to be okay with being rejected. And she has to be okay with waving me off.
It’s life.
I’m okay with that.
That’s my story.
This is good to hear. I used to daygame at the mall a lot and a couple times I gamed the same girl(s). One time she was like, “Is this what you do?” She said it with a snotty attitude and it fucked up my state. Another time I yadstopped a girl and she was like, “Did you just use the same move?” And that was the end of that. She never responded to my texts after that. It’s good to know that it’s just something I’m gonna have to deal with. That way I can get better at it instead of trying to avoid it from happening. I have a couple friends that I talk about daygame to and they give me shit that I don’t recognize the girls. I try to tell them it’s impossible to remember every girl when you’re talking to as many as we do, but I don’t think they get it because they don’t daygame on the regular. Anyway, yeah 5 seconds of her day. Who gives a shit. Like you said it’s just an occupational hazard.
>> One time she was like, “Is this what you do?”
You know there are 100 good lines to comeback when a girl says something like this to you.
You can think of it like a shittest… it works like that.
HER: “Is this what you do?”
YOU: Yeah… when I see a girl I’m interested in, I talk to her. *stare* *vacuum*
HER: “Is this what you do?”
YOU: Yeah. I am a very social person. I like to meet people.
HER: “Is this what you do?”
YOU: No. I never talk to girls. I’m shy. *smile* *stare*
Etc.
But way more important than a good line is that internal feeling that you’re proud of yourself. That’s way more important. The 1st 2 lines above are true, and I saw them as if they are true.
You’re right… these things can impact your state. But that internal vibe is the essential thing… the girls come/go (“golden eggs”)… but you are stuck w/ your vibe (“the golden goose”). Being proud of yourself is key. You come first.
Two things on that note:
1. You will start to see proof this is a good thing as you start to make girls happy
2. You can think about what you’re up to (in game, but also in life), as “giving your gift.”
If you can approach game and life in an attempt to “give your gift,” there will be no shame in your game. You’re entitled… because you’re honorable. And giving.
If that sounds too hippy, think of it like this… leadership. As a man, leadership is central. You are giving her the gift of an opportunity. To meet you. To have some fun. To experience good things in sex and intimacy. You are the man. You will lead her. You’ll have a good plan. It is about your experience (always put yourself first), but you are the kind of man that can give her a good experience as well.
Even properly fucking a girl… is a gift to her. She can have sex, but to be fucked by a strong man is a gift. This is not about being selfless. It’s about being strong.
Doing all ^ this is not easy, but you’ll get it.
And you inner game will be solid, because you’re taking care of her (and your friends, and coworkers, and neighbors, etc.). That is what men do. We are the patriarchy. We provide order… and often fun.
This is the path I am trying to walk… and I have a lot of happy girls around me, right now.
Not all of them, but many of them.
Give your gift.
“The fucked up part is… I will probably see her again. I’ll probably approach her again. And I know she won’t like it.”
i have approached close to probably 2500 girls by this point, and yeah, its happened a bunch of times to me too.
for me, the key is to not get so serious about it. if it’s a re-approach, then i just accuse her of following me, which of course makes no sense, but if you say it with confidence and a cheeky grin, it almost always works.
me: [i stop her, and there’s that feeling of familiarity, but i’m not 100% sure, so i just proceed as normal] hey, can i just tell you one thing?
her: you’ve stopped me before
me: i know, why are you following me?!? [with big grin]
her: haha i’m not!
i think getting over this “re-approach discomfort” is key to being able to approach with a general confidence, without that worry.
and for me, a bigger obstacle to overcome was the worry of the “boyfriend interrupt”, especially in book stores. i was afraid of approaching a girl at bookstore, and then boom, her bf comes back from the bathroom or something.
now, that’s also happened to me a bunch of times — once, her dad showed up — and fuck it, densitization, baby. finding comfort in discomfort.
>> and for me, a bigger obstacle to overcome was the worry of the “boyfriend interrupt”, especially in book stores. i was afraid of approaching a girl at bookstore, and then boom, her bf comes back from the bathroom or something.
I was about to ask if you just worry about this, or if it’s ever happened…
>> now, that’s also happened to me a bunch of times — once, her dad showed up — and fuck it, densitization, baby. finding comfort in discomfort.
Ha! That has never happened to me in street game. I have been talking when a friend of the girl’s shows up… but never the BF.
Once, at an art show… this girl was milling around on her own. And I approached, pretty direct, pretty sexual… and her BF rolled over and was super pissed. Wasn’t ready to square up with me, but was openly hostile.
All in the day of a life of a man of game. I love it.
“That has never happened to me in street game.”
yeah, and i think that’s one of the advantages of the yad stop. it is very unlikely that her bf is around if she is walking alone.
and that’s another reason that the yad stop is such a great tool for beginners. less worries about interlopers.
“her BF rolled over and was super pissed.”
really? interesting. i haven’t had a super pissed bf, so i guess that’s lucky. but the line, “hey congratulations you make a great couple” i think works pretty well.
which reminds me of lovedrop’s line on how to get a man like you. you say:
“you look familiar, have you been on TV?”
basically, flatter him.
“All in the day of a life of a man of game. I love it.”
yeah!
that is what stops other men from approaching.
fear.
so by us doing this, it separates us from the pack.
women are attracted to men who can overcome their fears.