Lust in the Dust || Burning Man Gutter Game
I got a tiny bit of action at Burning Man. No big deal, but it was another “barrier” that I’ve stepped through. And it was from skills I’ve learn from daygame. Several of the barriers I’ve come through have been built on daygame skills. Since it was after midnight when I picked her up, I’ll get onboard with Krauser and Tom’s use of “gutter game.” It was something like that.
7 times. 7 times I’ve been to Burning Man, and I’ve never hooked up. Not really. I don’t game at Burning Man. Partly because I don’t want to treat Burning Man like a frat party, and also because my style of parting at Burning Man is different than a night at the bars. I’m high as fuck 1/2 the time I’m there, to be honest, looking to see god and dance with the devil. I always do a bit of both. That’s most of what I’m there for… at least at night. I’ve had some offers, but nothing that appealed to me – wasted chicks making me offers. I have hooked up there before, but from within my social circle. This girl was a proper cold approach, and I know it wouldn’t have happened without the daygame work I’ve done since I was there last.
Before I get into the details, I will say that every October here in this city, we have a post-Burning Man party called Decompression. There are several de-comps around the world, but ours is a big fucking party. I’ve been many times… and I always have a great time. Made out several times there with girls I’ve met stumbling around. But I party like a normal person at Decomp. I’m social. I buy the “Burning Man” vibe, I’m extra friendly, I fuck with people, they’re friendly back, I share my flask with strangers, it’s easy. And I always notice the difference between how I am at that party vs how I am at the actual Burning Man thing itself. I told myself this year I was going to do at least one night like I do Decomp. And… ta-daw… it worked.
I was camping with these great European guys I met there 2 years ago. They are “drinking” burners – very social, very drunk, fun guys. They were out almost every night until sunrise. I watched them grind themselves into the dust over several days — I got there after them and left early, because I can’t take that much abuse. But on this particular Thursday of Burning Man week, I took a night off of being a creepy, back-alley, Satan-worshiping psychonaut, and joined them for some Euro-style drinking and fucking around.
I didn’t last long… I met her right away.
We were at Slut Garden — a big theme camp right on the main drag. Ha. If that sounds like a Vegas strip club… that’s basically what it seemed like to me, that’s the vibe that camp puts off. There are big screens on either side of the deejay, with girls behind them dancing, and light projecting their shadowy silhouettes on the transparencies as they dance. To be honest, that shit is not sexy to me. Neither are strip clubs, for that matter. This camp had almost no appeal to me, but this is where I met her.
We were spending a few minutes there, one of my Euro buddies, in tuxedo underwear with neon, light-up suspenders, loving the house music, so we stayed a bit. I was watching this tall, skinny girl, with big glasses, thinking about approaching her… and then this little tiny girl catches my eye.
I love tiny. I think I associate “little” with “feminine,” but it’s a real turn on. Short girls make me hungry. I once dated a girl that was 4’10” — Tiny Dancer. I couldn’t get enough of that girl and her body. I was all needy and expectant with that one, and never had sex with her, but my short girl fetish lives on.
I am standing around with the Euros when she skips thru the Slut Garden. My daygame muscles tingled. Ummm, she’s short and cute. She’s bounce-y. That’ll be my “story.”
As she passes me, I run over to my bike, grab my flask of Fireball, and chase her down — just, like, daygame. I pop in front of her, “street stop” her, and say, “Hey! Are you 5 feet tall? Wait… you’re like 4’9″ aren’t you?” And she smiles, “4’11” she says. Ummm. She is dead sober when we meet, but I offer her some of that sticky-whiskey, and she accepts. We both drink a bit. It’s on.
I am still thinking I’m going to hang w/ the Euros all night, so I assume this is just a bit of fun. She lives about 2 hours from my city, she’s wearing a “The City” t-shirt, and shows it to me — she’s qualifying herself. I want to get back to my buddies, we have bars to go to, so I start going for a kiss. For fun. Because the little girl is kissable. It’s Burning Man. Let’s party.
I get a little closer and ask if she’s kissable. Long eye contact. She says she’s not ready for that, but her smile is charming and she’s showing lots of interest. She tells me she’s not sure if she wants me to be her first playa kiss, but that smiles says otherwise. I playfully step on her little foot, pinning her to the dust, and I step into her space, my mohawk looming 2 ft over her head. She shows some mock outraged at me stepping on her. She’s resisting, but we’re both loving it.
She wants to show me her camp — again, I think she’s qualifying to me. I think she’s into me and wants to show me her cool stuff. Her camp is ridiculous, fully-professionally run, tight and orderly like a military operation, but very nice, massive full kitchen, mega generators, funded by some wealthy patron… she tells me. I decide to fool around with her, and we tell the Euros I’m going to stay with her for a bit so they’re not waiting around for me.
She asked me how old I am, and I tell her I’m much older than her. She argues with me, because I look much younger than I am. I tell her I’m right, because people always guess my age wrong. They have been doing it all week. I bet her that I’m older, and tell her that if I’m right… well… she knows what I want. We exchange ages… I am, in fact, much older than her. She’s surprised. She still won’t give up her wet mouth.
We spend the next few hours fooling around together. I grab her tiny body, pull her in, get her close, but she won’t agree to the kiss. I tell her I’m watching her, that she’s close to ready, I can see. We joke as I read how turned on she is… going from “70%” to “Oh, my god, you’re so ready, you’re at like 97%.” She loves the dominance. We joke that’s she nervous, but she’s having fun. It’s genuinely hot. She’s milking it. I want to kiss her, but I’m liking this dance as well. She’s making my cock hard, and I think for a minute how much more on/sexual this is versus my date with the Taiwanese girl (whom I like very much). I pin her arms behind her back and get up close, sucking her breath into my lungs. I tell her to surrender, but she won’t. I tell her she needs to give it to me, or it’s not going to happen.
We tour her fancy camp. We hang out on a trampoline, and she pours her nice Woodford Reserve in my mouth. I run my hands up her tiny, perfectly proportioned legs, to her garter belt. She sits on top of me, tells me she can feel my cock. She climbs on my back and I carry her soft 90 lbs down the street. We link up with some crazy, butch Lesbians that are using Burning Man as a “divorce party.” They fuck with people at the porta potties – purposely opening the door on anyone that fails to lock it. They’re laughing hysterically, and my tiny one is loving it. They are teaching my tiny one how to do their porta pottie prank. They are giving me, the straight guy, a bit of the cold shoulder, but they warm up, and one of the butch ones helps me kill the last of Fireball. We hug the lesbians and head back to her camp… to be alone.
I haven’t kissed her yet… I’ve sucked the dust off her ears, I’ve bitten her neck, I’ve grabbed her ass, held her hips, but she won’t open her mouth for me. I told her over and over she has to give it to me… I will pin her down, but I won’t take it from her. I pin her down a lot, but she always turns her head.
Eventually I’m ready to cut it off. I say… “Okay…” and she says, “You’re going to leave, aren’t you? You’re getting tired of this.” I agree.
I know what she said, but I wonder what she was thinking at that moment. I know we were both getting tired. I wonder what else.
I tell her she’s been great, that I had a totally fun night w/ her, but yeah. And… I finally see her surrender. And I step forward. I’ve been telling her all night we need 3 kisses — because it might take at least 1 or 2 to get the rhythm right (sometimes that’s true). She is ready and leans in and… great kiss. Not a big deal, I know, but it was a great kiss. Almost worth the wait.
It’s getting cold. I tell her to take me back to her tent (my camp is blocks away and she doesn’t have a bike). We lay down and make out and trade stories. It was great.
Why didn’t I try to fuck her, Yohami would ask? Well… for lots of reasons, the main one being, Burning Man is disgusting. She turned me on, and this was the kind of situation where — by my own standards — I could fast-sex. The vibe between she/I got me hard right away… which doesn’t happen to me with every girl. But I hadn’t had a shower in 3 days. Who knows what condition her pussy was in?? It’s a filthy place. I know a lot of people have sex at Burning Man… but these are some of the reasons I have avoided that so far.
As I rode back to my camp – cutting across the playa – I watched the sun rise. I was exhausted, and would sleep a few hours and get up and drive home, ready for the comforts of civilization again.
Small victory. I loved it. That was the first time I’ve ever tried to run any kind of game out there. Felt good. I was a little love-drunk the next day. A barrier broken — gaming where I have not before. I’m integrating game into my “hippy” experience. Maybe I will finally learn how to capitalize on the attraction I get on the dancefloor?
Bigger picture… I feel the “curse” of the summer continuing to lift. Fall is going to be better. I’m getting there.
And… I can’t fucking wait for Decomp next month. A mix of Burning Man friendliness and daygame will give me more opportunities there as well.
And I have another date set up w/ the Taiwanese girl. And I’m fucking horny, and that energy feels good too.
It’s gonna be a great season. We shall see.
Viva daygame.
Great story. Questions;
“Eventually I’m ready to cut it off. ”
Why? this is the third story I read here where at some point of pushing through sexual tension combat you decide you’re tired and want to leave.
She asked you to go to her camp because that’s where she can get you in a place where you can make a move and fuck her.
You spent hours with her, grabbing her ass, she could feel your cock, you said that you would have to kiss 3 times, etc, all that back and forth, telling her that she had to give in – what is all that. I think Im reading your own sexual struggles, fighting a monster that is not there. One thing it is not: it’s not Alpha. So she was responding to things she liked, but then pulling the breaks whenever you stopped moving forward to fight your demons.
Funny shit. When I made the transition from beta to alpha I didnt go through this – probably because “I killed myself’ before the transition. I had all these obstacles when I was beta. I never tried to be beta but Game as alpha. I see it’s a serious mindfuck.
You’re knocking on a door but then cannot take the prize because it’s not presented in a way that your mindset can understsand. Or, you get a girl, turn her on, make her want to fuck you, but then you get exhausted fighting something imaginary and leave beacause “she’s not showered and who knows the state or her vagina’
Quite a situation.
If this was true and you didnt want to fuck her why battling forward? if you did want to fuck her, why backing down?
There in the middle is something you have to figure out. It’s there.
>> I think Im reading your own sexual struggles, fighting a monster that is not there. One thing it is not: it’s not Alpha. So she was responding to things she liked, but then pulling the breaks whenever you stopped moving forward to fight your demons.
I know you’re right about some of this. I think I do have some sexual baggage, or beta stuff, or something like that. Yes. I think you’re right. Not always, but yes.
Burning Man girl was responding to the things I liked… yes. But if she wanted sex, why not kiss me? I told you I didn’t want Burning Man sex, but that “excuse” won’t work with a situation like this back in the real world. If this girl and I were on a date, and she wouldn’t kiss me after a few hours… I would also have left. Not mad. I’d just schedule another date some other time, try to kiss her quick, and if not then… I wouldn’t see her again.
>> read here where at some point of pushing through sexual tension combat you decide you’re tired and want to leave.
That’s right. In this case, I think I was escalating well, I went for it, tried to kiss her in the first 5 mins, I think I did a good job. And I liked how she reacted, it was fun… and then… it got boring that the teasing went on for hours. I liked that time, but I was ready to move through that. And she saw that in my eyes, and she surrendered. And we made out. That was all cool, actually. I think she/I both played all that well.
To play this more alpha (per what you’re teaching me), I could have physically forced the kiss… or skipped the kiss and tried to fuck her without kissing when she showed me her dirty tent the first time. I was not looking for Burning Man ONS sex, so that is off the table for me. Forcing a kiss with a woman resisting… that doesn’t sound like game to me either. I don’t think that’s what you’re saying, but I don’t know what else I missed.
I didn’t fuck her, because I didn’t want to. But I played this one fine.
I think you are connecting my Taiwan girl and this story. Maybe bits of the girl I over-gamed in July as well (yes, I think I could have sexed her that first night… which would have been fast for me, but I think she was ready). But this one… went great. I got everything I wanted out of the situation.
I think you’re right that I am often fighting a monster that is not there. I think I need to “warm up” to sex, a lot of the time. I feel like that now. Once a girl/I have good sexual connection, my drive goes way up. With certain girls, I’m ready right away. But sometimes, I want this “warm up” thing. I know that doesn’t impress you… but that’s my story, man.
In Japan… I don’t know why… partly because I was super horny… partly because I didn’t have much time… but I pushed hard with every girl I was around. I had a SDL there, a stranger I met at dinner. I pounced on everygirl I dated. One, first date, back to my place, she would kiss me but wouldn’t even take off her coat. She bailed pretty quick, and was on pretty high-alert the whole time. I know I was pushing too fast for that one. In Japan, I was more like what you’re advising there. I think in part… because I had a lot of women in my life at that time. I think I can build up to that as if I can keep things happening as I head into Fall.
We’ll see what this Fall looks like. I’m listening to you, man.
Thank you again for your time. I appreciate the education, very much.
“pushed hard with every girl I was around.”
Yeah that’s not it. That’s still scarcity.
“She bailed pretty quick, and was on pretty high-alert the whole time. ”
That’s the tell. She has to be super horny and jumping on you and wanting to take your clothes off.
“I was more like what you’re advising there.”
No, read my comments again. The core of what I am saying is that you give her what she wants. You
1) Display your attributes
2) Read her response
3) Give her more of what she responds to, less of what she doesnt respond to
4) Iterate, displaying and leading her in the direction that you want.
So this never becomes pushing past a resistance point. This is not you pushing your dick against a wall. Figuratively, this is you putting your dick against her skin and then she takes it and puts it in her vagina, then you thrust. It’s sex, not rape, its reciprocated seduction, not pushing into her from your loneliness, its mutually voracious sex, not predatory sex. For that to be like that, she has to want you, and you have to take her when she opens the windows for you to do so, and she will do so after you display something she wants. On and on and on.
“To play this more alpha (per what you’re teaching me), I could have physically forced the kiss”
The idea that you force a kiss is beta. Alpha is not the one forcing things – the BETA is the one forcing things. The kiss didnt happen earlier because you didnt read her and missed the windows when you had them, and you were following her instead of taking command.
The idea of resistance is beta. The whole setup is beta. Your fight is happening in the air, with the girl in front of you waiting for you to snap out of it and take her.
To understand the contrast, picture this: what would you do if she was burning in desire to have you? The more that you act in congruence with that, the more alpha you’ll act, and the more she’ll actually want you. The less you act in congruence with that, the more beta you will act, and the less she will want you.
The whole thing of pushing / resistance / fear is incongruent with the idea of she desperately wanting to have you, and congruent with the idea of she not wanting you and you having to go through hoops and do things for her validation, to “ease her in”. All the things here that see seduction as something you work your ass for and push through obstacles, ALL OF IT is beta frame, and the more you engage on it, the more you make it a real thing.
My advice to guys in your position is to become an alpha of sorts through other means, so you have women pursuing you, so you can see firsthand the real nature of women and how feral they are, and how little fear they have, how there’s no resistance, and how they jump on your cock like hungry animals when they want you, and how your own behavior adapts to it. If you get a taste of it for long enough, then ditching all the beta framework becomes easier.
The issue right now is you are in a beta place and have to work your way up to women, who are rejecting you and make you work for it, in a self realizing prophesy, you work up to them because they dont want you, and then they dont want you because you place yourself under them. There’s no way out – and doing it 27 times a day wont change it. What you must to do change it is to approach this from the complete opposite side. Put yourself on top and be congruent with that.
Watch RSD max and Luke.
Or figure out your life and put yourself number one in all situations, then game from there (much better).
“We lay down and make out and trade stories. It was great.”
sounds like a beautiful experience, man.
Thanks. It was great, man.
We know Yohami is pushing me to step up my game… and I want to… but this kind of story is a big part of why I want to be in game. Fucking, yes. But also good moments with the female of the species. Not me taking her to Hawaii and buying her stuff… but makeouts in bars, and seeing into a given girls world. I love that stuff. I want sex, I’m a bit starved right now, but as I get more girls into my life… this kind of stuff will continues to be delicious for me.
I don’t want to date this girl again. But it was a great experience. That’s what I want out of game.
in yohami’s world, every girl is a whore, and if you didn’t fuck her that very night, then you are not alpha, because she *is* a whore, and so she found some other guy and fucked *him* that very night.
>> she found some other guy and fucked *him* that very night.
— Riv
I think Yohami might say (I don’t think I really get what Yohami wants me to get, I’m sure I don’t, but I’m sincerely trying…):
“Some other guy could have fucked *her* that very night.”
And I know he’s right. There’s a way. There’s a way for you and I to be “authentic”… and fuck the girl. To give her a brilliant “alpha” experience. And to surprise ourselves with the true range of our own options.
I almost said “to make ourselves happy.” I’m not sure this is about happiness. Any of it. This is about range of vision. This is about seeing, if not realizing, our potential. It might not be about happiness at all… (many PUAs prove that all the time). It’s about seeing clearly. About not being “blind” (aka bluepilled). It’s about learning to see. I want to see.
I want an education… and I might have to push my edge if I ever want to get to the “next grade level.” I’m trying.
Riv, you’re doing yourself a disservice by misinterpreting my comments on purpose.
“in yohami’s world, every girl is a whore”
That’s you, not me
“and if you didn’t fuck her that very night, then you are not alpha”
The other way around, you are not alpha and that’s why you didnt fuck her. Dont confuse cause and effect.
“because she *is* a whore”
That’s your view, not mine
“and so she found some other guy and fucked *him* that very night”
If she was horny and found a guy she liked, yes.
Now why do you think a girl who likes to fuck is a “whore”? what does that say of you?
Yohami… you are a relentless teacher… I appreciate it. Thank you.
No problem, I hope that’s useful stuff.
Let me know if you understand what Im talking about when I say “the basics” and “what matters” etc.
i think you did the right thing in enjoying her and not going “do or die” for the bang. that kind of thinking can create a neediness vibe.
your “we are having fun” vibe sounds great.
RSD is killing it. Check out videos from a guy called RSD Luke. The guy is a fat slob with no body language – but what he’s spilling about social game and hot to decentivize yourself putting you in situations where you’re not comfortable until they dont bother you, and raising your level of confidende (becoming alpha) is on point.
The bottom line and why Im talking to you and Riv is this:
If you do what works, you’ll see results. The results come fast – sometimes too fast.
If you have been in game for years and you’re not a successful womanizer, then you’re doing it wrong. I dont mean this to put you down, the opposite. It’s like the guy who’s been hitting the gym for years and “cant lose weight” or “cant build muscle”. No – if you do the right thing, you will see results, guaranteed. If you dont see results, and you dont see them FAST, then you’re doing the wrong thing, didnt get the basics right, are not doing what counts. The whole process will take years – Im still learning and becoming – but the results are immediate, you should be banging girls left and right a few weeks in IF YOU ARE DOING WHAT MATTERS.
If you get stuck for years doing thousands of approaches and getting numbers and counting leads and trapped in scarcity – probably you are doing the opposite of what’s right. Maybe you’re romanticizing failure. Maybe you cant fathom yourself being “that man” so you’re trapped in being “this man” and “this man who suffers in becoming” like a “man battling with addiction” when you could be “that man” already. Maybe it’s all internal turmnoil, because if you would do the actual things that matter, the things that “that man” would do, you would be “that man” in no time.
You said that “a notch wouldnt make you alpha”. It’s true, because nothing can “make you alpha”. But you make yourself alpha through things. You can use the notch to become alpha, and create a positive reinforcement circle. Not having the notch is also a reinforcement – quitting and going back frustrated is a reinforcement. Heck – you can also use the notch to reinforce beta, and the dates to reinforce beta. But the things you do dont make you, there are plenty of well bodied, attractive men in situations of power who are beta to the core, and use all their power to reinforce beta. So thing wont make you, on their own, you MAKE YOURSELF.
You’ve been a student of the Game for years. Master in in the next couple weeks by getting things right. It’s not by doing more of what you’re doing. It’s by doing what matters.
I take back that he doesnt have body language – when he’s with girls he’s extremely at ease, and when he’s telling other guys what to do (alpha) he’s commanding and playful. He’s just awkward when he’s talking to the camera on his own
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bcB-DXUhLg
So there you go, a fat slob that still can get the shit done.
Luke’s tips can improve Daygame https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pBx4WhEeLk
After all these minuscule and very good well points, jump to minute 6.36 where there’s the real shit and they tell you nothing matters if you have “the energy” and they laugh about it.
How you get “the energy” is the real thing. it’s the who, not the what.
Watched this… slow play, the “walking with her” part in daygame, is mostly creepy to me. Maybe this is another barrier I need to break thru.
I hear your comment about “energy” — listened to that part twice.
“Energy will destroy looks.”
I think they are talking about “state.” And I think you are talking about “entitlement.” I could be wrong… the quote still work, either way.
“creepy to me”
Could be, but it’s the who not the what.
” I think you are talking about “entitlement.””
No, it’s the energy. What’s your energy, what’s your vibe, who are you, what you radiate, what you put in, what you put out, who. High energy, low energy, happy energy, confident energy, are you taking energy from her, or giving energy. Is it top to down energy, or bottom up, are you asking, or leading, what is the movement. Energy.
“Entitlement” could be described as energy, but we would have to settle on what the word means. “State” is a funny word because it doesnt mean anything, or it does but it’s not defined. I’ll define “state” as “a lapse of Alpha”.
> If you have been in game for years and you’re not a successful womanizer, then you’re doing it wrong
Again, I read you at the “Zen” level. Yes… but I don’t think you’re talking about a “real life” timeline for most men.
Reference experiences are a wonderful teaching tool for game. When I get a solid ref ex, I know it in my bones.
>> You can use the notch to become alpha, and create a positive reinforcement circle.
— Yohami
This is what I mean. You’re right. But for most guys… this will not be weeks. You have to weed out the “junk thinking” and build ref exs. As I think of it now… at first, you are “so close” to the problem you can’t see it. Then, each ref ex always you to take a step back, where you are beginning to see the problem/opportunity. This is not weeks.
Current example. My logistics skills… are getting pretty good, I think. Again, maybe I am “too close” to see how much better they could be… but I can set up dates, move women thru dates, escalate, get her home, etc. All of this I learned in game… but it took time. I am light-years better than I was when I was “most men.” I don’t think this stuff is about “weeks.”
(For me… with fucking 9-10 years in game (with a couple years off here/there for LTRs)… maybe I could have an epiphany and suddenly get it. I have weeded out some of the junk. I have a lot of ref exs.)
I wonder if most of us won’t get it… just get closer… because “alpha” as you describe it is supposed to be rare. I think you would say I will be beta as long as I think like that, and that if I start “doing what matters,” I’ll cross the line.
The “most guys” is a red herring and a distraction, ditch it. Turn it around. Of all the guys who are taking care of the basics, and doing the things that matter, how many are seeing results?
See how your initial response blocked you? that’s where the issue is, inside, and why “most guys” wont get the results. For the same reason that when presented with an idea that you could be there NOW, in WEEKS time, your approach was “not very realistic for most people” as opposed to “HOW, TELL ME HOW AND I’LL DO IT”.
Too esoteric? look.
The reasons why you’re not killing it with women is you lack certain instincts and reflexes and mindsets and you’re not trained to see opportunities and capitalize on them. The thing holding you back with women is also holding you back in every other area in your life. The issue with women is not even with women – it’s with yourself and your definition of you as a man. Your resistance to be the TOP MAN is the same resistance you face when given the opportunity to bang girls left and right and get real results in a short time – you didnt jump on it, you hide behind an idea that other guys, most guys, couldnt do it, and you placed yourself in that group, in the middle of them, without a name, constrained by the same force constraining these guys, which remains undefined. You defeated yourself.
Which to a woman is intrinsically unattractive.
For example Riv is a great photographer, but he’s hiding. The same reason he’s afraid to take the shot and become “the one”, is the reason he doesnt embody the alpha, is the same reason why women are not jumping on him all the time.
Men crave for power – it’s there, in you. You want it. And women want the man who is in power. You dont jump into the power path, you dont assume yourself, and then you’re not “a man” for women, and they dont look at you.
Now, how many of the men who did assume themselves, fought, and grew powerful, and are doing Game, are NOT seeing results?
It’s not about most guys. It’s about your options. There is a path that leads nowhere and a path that leads to the prize. Most guys will stay safe and under the radar and die without a name. What will YOU do?
You’ve been 10 years into the game because you want the prize, I figure. What are you going to do to get it? it’s going to involve doing something that “most guys” wont, but only “the few” do. Just by doing Game you’re already not among “most guys” to begin with.
What Im doing is pointing at the wall you’re bouncing so you do something about it.
” I don’t think this stuff is about “weeks.””
Cool, but it’s not about what you think.
I’ll continue in another msg
Jump to 8.08 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6Ggnk3-kbw
I am curious about the arc of this story. It sounds like you very quickly ended up in steady state of raging hardon and Bay Area consent sexlessness. Pleasant in many ways, but very heavy, very blue balls.
Was there an ebb and flow or did you escalate to the place you describe fairly quickly? That sounds like the push – but how was the pull?
>> Bay Area consent sexlessness
Bllahhqqqkk. You’re giving me the social justice shivers with that kind of talk.
It was more exciting than “pleasant,” IMAO, but… not necessarily a very exciting story, I admit. For me, it was a step fwd. That’s why it was important to me. I am “too nice” at hippy parties, which holds me back and bores girls. I don’t want to be “mainstream frat guy” at hippy parties or on the dancefloor. I am fine being that guy at a meatmarket bar, but not in hippy situations.
For me… this was about finding a place between frat-douche and SNAG. I can do this at decomp… which was my reference point. This was the first time I did it at BM in particular.
To quote Yohami… “I have been fighting a monster that isn’t there.” I’m trying to stop doing that.
>> Was there an ebb and flow or did you escalate to the place you describe fairly quickly? That sounds like the push – but how was the pull?
I think I was mostly pull, little push. I’m not sure I am on track here, but here are some comments…
I was trying to kiss her in the first 5 minutes. I directly told her that. All this seems like pull (“on”) to me. I thought I’d be off to another bar w/ the Euros in 10 minutes, and I wanted to kiss this girl. I love kissing girls. We heated up very quick… the first hour was hotter than the next couple of hours. We basically dropped into comfort… because I was enjoying her, and she was a playful “no” to my makeout.
Push (“off”)… I think I did little of this. I am trying to be careful here. I have been overgaming this year, and am trying to do less “neg” type push, and more “slow roll” as a way of creating some kind of push (or vacuum). I have been a bit insulting to girls, and I’m trying to cool some of that out… it’s not serving me (or her).
I was sexually direct, but I teased her some (I wasn’t kissing her ass), which is how I use push. I told her tent was “filthy” (which is was) and that I was, in fact, “judging” her for that (she knew this was playful). I also would “take away” a bit physically, pulling off of her and stepping back to give her room to come fwd. At the end… she kissed me, because she could see I was done… that was pull. Not really technique, I was actually done.
I was turned on by her, physically hard, but this wasn’t really blue balls country. I was surprised my cock was hard at all… that rarely happens to me standing up, unless I already have a sexual history w/ a girl. This was sexy, but not “grindy” blue balls.
Your story sounds very pull, and the big push you did, the takeaway, got the biggest response.
I lived in SF for a while, a while back and grew up in pretty heavy hippy environment. I even made it to Burning Man once in 1999. I really struggled with the SJW/faux-hippy BS there.
I saw a two tier system in place for guys. Most were happily betas, complying with the feminist playbook, and a few were doing alpha-guru game, or something like that. There were a handful of really out there people that were legit edgy, but most I saw were in that shallow hippy mode.
My recollection of all that is it can difficult, even damaging to spend too much time in that space if you aren’t negotiating it well as the alpha-guru. My experience has been that it’s very difficult to be part of that scene and hold the red pill views.
That said, contrast game is real. Do you ever take that path?
>> I really struggled with the SJW/faux-hippy BS there.
The hippy part I’m cool with… even the modern version, Santa Cruz hip-hop-hippies and Crystal Bros. But that SJW stuff… yeah, painful. It’s more prevalent on the internet than in real life, but yeah.
>> My recollection of all that is it can difficult, even damaging to spend too much time in that space if you aren’t negotiating it well as the alpha-guru
I agree 100%. Game has helped me stay “real” even though I like many of those crowds (in part, as the dancing is great at hippy circles). The “alpha-guru’s” are real, and they make it worse, as they preach “beta/SNAG” values, even as they run more aggressive and effective game themselves. A friend calls them “foxes w/ chicken suits on” as part of the fox in the hen house analogy.
Hippy values are too influenced by feminine ideals and spirituality to help men find their place sexually or navigate modern gender politics. You’re right, those guys are definitely hurting themselves. I used to be one of them… still climbing out of that hole.
>> That said, contrast game is real. Do you ever take that path?
I don’t know what that means??
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JeC7T9e3_c
This guy’s method is what I did by accident – from PUA (cold approach) to social circles (because you end up meeting people when approaching) to the Alpha in these circles
Good stuff from Max here about repetition, making things “natural”, and reading the girl. He’s paraphrasing what Im saying about leading and reading, increasing what works etc.
video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JjA68t4JbM