NYC: Commitments, Daygame, and 150 Sets
Greetings daygamers… from the Big Apple.
I’ve been here a few hours. I’m excited. Life for me right now is a mix of promise and self-doubt. This is going to be a good week, a hard week, a wild week. I have hopes. I have curiosity. There is only one New York City and I am here. I want to run some game.
And I’m here because of some commitments. Here’s one:
Tokyo, I could do 30+ sets a day. Many were brief. But very doable. Day after day. In Oct, I'll do NYC. 30 approaches a day. I promise.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) September 29, 2017
My brothers, that feels like a gnarly commitment. Sometimes the girls intimidate me… and sometimes I intimidate myself.
The quote above is some evidence that I have been fooling around on Twitter a bit. I like it. It’s been a great way to connect with others in the Tribe of Men. Flat Lander almost feels like a wing to me. I appreciate that guy. And I ran into this guy worldwidegame yesterday and I like how he thinks. There are many others. And it’s a pleasure to run with this pack of wolves.
My 150 set commitment was in response to a TDDaygame post about a student doing “20 sets.” It was inspiring to hear about a new guy smashing out 20 approaches (I assume, as Tom coached him). My results have sucked lately, but I’ve been putting in my time… I feel like a beginner… all over again. In some ways that’s good.
One great thing about being on Twitter is watching other daygamers tell their stories. I love it. Not everyone wants to blog and in many ways Twitter is a more accessible avenue to barf your wins and insecurities about game/girls into this community. Hearing each other’s stories is important.
I’ve been almost jealous of some of the guys that are just starting out. Some mix of envy and nostalgia about the days when I was in those shoes. And in fact, I’m not quite out of those same woods myself.
I haven’t had a new lay in a long time. Two months.
I had been clipping along with one or two new lays per months for the last year, and then suddenly that wasn’t so familiar. And in that sense, I could feel what the newer guys were saying in those twitter posts. I can really feel it. My lack of new lays has made it easier to imagine where they are at in their path, and to connect with where I was in the summer of 2016 (and the hunger of those days), as my results look like a beginner lately too. Not really. But in some ways that’s true.
Doubts.
Doubts, because I’ve been inconsistent (in terms of lays, not in terms of work ethic). And doubts that I will be able to make anything happen on this trip here in this most famous of east coast cities.
In some ways, I feel small about all that. And in some ways… like those guys on Twitter, I feel free (even though I “doubt” that’s how those guys see it). My streak is broken. It’s a chance to start over. When you “suck,” the only place you have to go is up.
“Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose.”
— Janis Joplin
In some ways, I feel like that.
I should take a second to get real and say I’ve been getting laid. I have. I’m still no-fap, and I’ve been more than surviving, and it’s daygame sex, but all “recurring revenue” from girls I approached earlier this year.
I had a return visit from Miss Lips, and she wanted some time and some cock, and I gave it to her. She’s cool, but I’m not that into that girl. Even though I’m not doing that well… I only saw her once in the 10 days she was in my city. With her, I’d rather have the free time than get laid. She just doesn’t inspire me.
Much more so, Miss Thick has turned into an epic lover — best lover I’ve had in at least 10 years. The dirtiest, most intense sex I’ve had in a long, long time. It’s her eyes as much as it is her ass. And of course it’s not just the sex. I’ve been so tempted to tell that girl I love her… she’s been amazing. Not “I’m going to quit the path and go all monogamy on her,” but everything up that point. She and I have taken what was once another notch and made it richer and deeper, and I’m very, very into what we’re doing in bed and beyond.
Yeah. Miss Thick. I know you’re a happy girl. And seeing that look in your eyes is enchanting every time.
But when I stop thinking about her, I can’t help but notice there have been no new girls in my bed since the Virgin… and she… is still a virgin. And by that… I mean I didn’t fuck that tender-young thing. And worse than that, she’s gone. After the date where her virgin box squirted all over my chin, she disappeared. “Squirter’s remorse,” I suppose. Who knows.
I know if I want girls in my bed… I need to hit the street. Despite my fondness for the amazing, lovely, and talented Miss Thick… there will be no hiatus from street approach.
I have been out there, “giving my gift,” daygame style. I’ve been approaching consistently, all summer (and especially in September). I’ve done hundreds of approaches. Hundreds. I’ve taken dozens of leads. There have been dates, but no new lays.
I’ve had some good stories in the last two months. The Teenage Virgin was an incredible experience for me before she disappeared. And I’ve dated a handful of other young, hot, beautiful girls as well. An instadate with a 19 year old Japanese girl that was beyond delicious by my standards. Wow…she was… wow. She was on a tight leash from the host mom and I couldn’t get her out. And then another 20 year old Japanese girl – a total fantasy for me. I took her for “virgin” drinks at my favorite hotel bar one afternoon… and surprised her as I sucked her earlobe in the elevator on the way down to the street. I couldn’t get her out before she left town (maybe I’ll see her in Japan next year?). Another date or two, including one breakfast date where I kissed her on the sidewalk, but mostly… leads to nowhere.
How many new leads?
Goddammit, so many leads. Maybe 25? 30? Not every time, but most days… two to four leads per day. One day I took five leads. So many tourists. Three or four flight attendants. Several married women that didn’t tell me they were married until later.
Here’s an example:
“Nothing. Just let it go. I’m merried woman. I should have said it early, I’m sorry.”
— Some “merried” Korean girl
(^ That’s for you, Pancake. Very good to run some game with you this month.)
This is via message, later that night, after she’d given me her number and chatted with me all afternoon. I had at least three of those in the last two months.
Yeah… so many cute girls that would respond and then drop off. Too many examples to count.
And the Wine Girl not only cancelled our second date, but then… took the time to call me on the phone, to tell me, that she and I, “weren’t a good match.” Like voice to voice, on the phone, to say we shouldn’t date. She said she didn’t want to “ghost” on me. Weird. I asked her, “Do you do this all the time?” It was ridiculous.
Wow. August and September. Strange months.
This is what it feels like to “suck” again. Not really, I get it… but the scoreboard says “goose egg.” 300 approaches maybe? Jesus. And a big zero. It can happen. It happened.
But… I have other reasons to be on this side of the country. The impending daygame adventure is the center of my focus, but I have other business her in the great state of New York.
Let’s talk about commitments.
150 sets. In five days.
Can I get laid in five days? The answer is… I don’t know. Maybe. In DC I took four leads in two days (and that was only 18 approaches, total)… and it seems reasonable to say I’ve gotten better since then.
I just finished Tom Torero’s Street Hustle text book (I’ll review it when I get home). I think somewhere he says the ideal “jaunt” is about two weeks, and he is quick to point out that short trips make it harder to close. I agree.
Not just the sheer lack of time, but the lack of time for busy girls to fit you into their week. There is also the fact that you’re “one and done” no matter what… and not every girl is clamoring for tourist cock. Most importantly, you’re not on your own territory… so you’re at a distinct disadvantage versus native guys (of equal skill) in terms of local knowledge and date logistics.
If I want to get laid on this trip – and by God’s Teeth, that is the goal – I know I’ll have to get busy. I know bastards players like Roy Walker can close one in 30 approaches (or better), but my stats are nowhere near that. I think I might have the worst (and perhaps the most honest) stats in daygame. So if I have a hope of a notch, I’ll have to be busy.
150 girls.
My previous record for approaching was 35 sets in a day, something like that. I did over 30 approaches several days in Tokyo, but that is a place where “every third girl was fuckable” (for a man of my tastes). At home in California, I did a 19-set day last week, and it was fun, not that hard. And my city is much smaller than NYC. There is a lot more foot traffic here.
So… 30 sets a day. That’s the goal. Five days total on the street. That’s 150 sets. That’s my plan.
That sounds hard. I am intimidated.
But… we are more likely to make progress as men, when we make commitments to each other. Public commitments hold us accountable. That’s a good practice.
And in a related sense, our inner game improves when we make and meet our promises. That’s the basis of masculine integrity. Make promises. Keep them. Work hard. That’s real. Do that and you can believe in yourself. And if you can’t do that… well, I don’t know what to tell you. Good luck.
This trip is part of my New Year’s resolution.
In December, a three-part resolution came to me one night, crystal clear. For 2017 I wanted to: 1.) Study David Deida (for game and relationship purposes), 2.) Read about Austrian economic theory (a lot of men I respect are convinced by the notion of free markets, I wanted to learn more), and 3.) Get a particular art/business project off the ground (for love of art, and as an exercise that could lead to some business opportunities for me). All three of those felt right, so I started telling people that I was going to commit to each of those items.
I am committed. And here it is October, and none of them are done… but all of them are underway. I will fucking get them done.
In fact, all three of those New Year’s commitments seem to be converging on this trip. I have already seen Deida speak this year, and he was beyond my expectations (amazing guy). I applied for a weekend program with him, but it was a huge chuck of cash, so I looked for similar alternatives… that’s why I’m here in New York right now… for a men’s intensive with a different teacher. And then I did get going on the “Austrian econ” bit, but as I researched it, I switched to Milton Freidman. He is American, but he is a good intro into free markets and is well respected by guys that value the Austrians’ POV. I have his book here with me, I’m 50 pages into it. And I kicked out a big batch of stickers in advance of this trip… they are fucking awesome, and I will cover NYC with my art while I’m here. Those stickers are not the point of the larger art/business commitment, but it’s very much related (and the completed stickers themselves represent a series of made- and met- commitments, promises kept).
Commitments… blah, blah, blah. No, it’s more important than that.
Let’s come back to the daygame.
Will I get laid? I have no idea. I can’t totally control that. Part of making wise commitments is knowing how much is skill and how much is in the cards. I can’t control the cards. And my skill is what it is. What I can control is my dedication and discipline. I can make commitments and keep them. That’s not the destination but it’s a sound path for a man.
So I will get my 150 sets done this week. If I do that, I will have made and kept a promise. I will have even more reason to trust myself, and that is the core of true confidence and inner game. That’s the man I want to be.
And let’s be honest… it’ll be hard, but it should be fun. It’s talking to girls, man. If that sucks for you, you shouldn’t be in daygame. I like girls, and a lot of that “work” is going to be vibing with girls. Sounds good.
While 150 sets sounds like a bit of a grind, another way of saying that is… 150 girls. Just saying that makes me horny. 150 girls that are hot enough, and interesting enough, to make me lick my lips and approach. I will get blown out a lot (I’m the best BOA that has ever lived). But some of those sets will simmer. And some will boil. There will ice, but there will be heat. Could be some hot moments. Maybe some dates. Maybe a makeout. Maybe I’ll sink my teeth into a new girl in a more carnal way.
We’ll see.
That’s what I am up to… I will hustle on my commitments this week. I will talk to some girls. I will win some hard-earned experience, some “away game” experience, on foreign territory.
And I will be… in many ways… just like those young cats on the Twitter. “20 sets” here and there. Reborn in the Big Apple. Cutting my teeth… all over again.
So, who knows. I’m a player and players play. I’ve made a commitment and I’ll step up to that opportunity. It’ll be hard. It’ll be fun. I’ll be a good experience.
And most importantly, I keep my promises.
“You can go home you’ve done your approaches”
— GringoDaygame
See. Inspiration from the young guns. Fuck yeah. Blaze, young guns. Blaze. I love it.
That’s what I got. Maybe I’ll get laid. We’ll see what the week brings.
Daygame as a test of my character. Daygame as crucible. Daygame as mirror.
Viva daygame.
Right thing to do to put your intimating goal out there Nash. Best of luck in NY. Was there last week and had great results with nightgame.
On studying David Deida, you may want to start with reading “The Way of the Superior Man”. There’s also a lot on youtube of him lecturing and reading his work. I read it back in January and it’s full of gold. Frankly I felt the book was enough.
>> start with reading “The Way of the Superior Man”.
I agree. That’s a great place to start.
I read it… years ago. It was completely life changing for me. The concept of polarity immediately changed the quality of my relationships… and immediately improved my sex life. It was dramatic. The girls I dated AFTER I read that book were very vocal about how easy it was to follow my lead. I bought several copies and sent them to friends. I need to reread it… I’ve learned a lot since then, and I bet it would hit me in different ways today.
I’m a huge fan.
I also read Intimate Communion. Excellent. So much there on the masculine and the feminine there. I’ve listened to a bunch of his stuff… I’ll add an interesting clip BELOW.
For now, I’d really recommend this:
http://www.masculinity-movies.com/articles/the-three-stages-of-david-deida
This is a great/quick look into Deida thinking. Simple, very good overview of his “stages.” I’m not sure that comes from Deida himself, and I’m not sure he would approve of that article, but it lines up well with his work, from my POV.
I could try a quick application to daygame:
DAYGAMERS (in the Deida model).
* STAGE 1 TYPE: Aggressive, insecure, likes to brag, angry, mad at women all the time
* STAGE 2 TYPE: Wouldn’t daygame because he thinks it’s “disrespectful to women”
* STAGE 3 TYPE: Clear, secure, unreactive, giving, powerful, arresting, solid
GIRLS (in the Deida model).
* STAGE 1 TYPE: Low self esteem, insecure, drama queen, gold diggers, Instagram tramps
* STAGE 2 TYPE: Feminists, think approaching is “oppression,” think women should approach men
* STAGE 3 TYPE: High self esteem, feminine, secure, giving, charming, graceful
^ This is obviously my translation. I don’t know that Deida would agree with any of that. And Deida isn’t about game (in case that’s not clear). And he talks about so much… and a lot of it feels like it’s over my head… but I’m interested.
And personally, when I saw him speak, in the Q&A session… he handled both men/women that asked questions in an expert manner. He was amazing, even with some tricky, wild folks… he could reign in their bullshit like I’ve never seen. Very “clear” guy.
He’s an interesting dude. “Hippy.” But I find him deeply practical for seduction.
Magnum, I’m not directing any of this at you… just like above, the “you” here is generic. I’m adding this to the thread as another sample of Deida for anyone that’s interested.
>> https://deida.info/product/hes-never-enough-for-her/
Here is a brief clip from off his newsletter.
“He’s never enough for her.”
I think the title of the clip would make sense for most men that have gotten past the honeymoon stage of a relationship. Just the title might show you he knows how you feel…
He uses some language that is bit “wild” and “out there” if you’re not coming from a “hippy”/consciousness” background.
If you’re interested, here is what I recommend to do with this clip:
— Go to 2:03: He talks about the FEMININE, even when they are at their happiest, saying… “this is not enough!!!”
— Go to 4:30: He is speaking for the feminine and “she” is saying, “I feel so loved, but what comes out of her mouth is… give me MORE!”
The language is “out there,” but what he is pointing to in both those bits is dead on.
So if that rings true, then replay the whole clip and see if it makes sense. For me, it’s easier to “back into” what the hell he is getting at in the clip, assuming I agree with what he is saying at 2:03 and 4:30 (and I do agree, that’s exactly what the feminine is like).
This is probably too weird for most guys, and that’s totally cool. But I think he’s really onto something mainstream culture cannot teach you.
Good luck with that. : ]
Listened to the clip you posted and this is where I think Deida gets too blue pill (the masculine has to keep striving to love the feminine even though it will never be enough).
I think a better approach is how Blackdragon lays things out. Give a listen to the non-mongamous relationship rules he lays down around minute 10 here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtnALqGqnf8
1. keep texting to a minimum (2-3 times a week, only for setting up the next date)
2. only see her once a week (can be overnight)
3. fuck her good and make her cum every time
You’ll leave her wanting more with this approach (I follow it with my girls and it works). But they’ll be wanting more on your terms and ultimately keeping that frame keeps them attracted to you longer. It’s the best way I know of.
>> Listened to the clip you posted and this is where I think Deida gets too blue pill (the masculine has to keep striving to love the feminine even though it will never be enough).
I hear you. And there are times when I think he’s headed in that direction, but he always cleans it up. That’s one of the things that keeps surprising me about Deida. He’s not “defensive” about any of this. He’s not on “offense” either. He’s describing what is… he’s just “seeing.”
There is nothing beta about the way he talks about the masculine. Masculine is consciousness, it’s timeless awareness, it’s “nothing,” it’s the container. I see a lot of parallels between what the hippies call “masculine clarity” and what the Buddhists call “equanimity.” Consciousness. Non-reactivity. Nothing beta there. We’re not talking about “men,” we’re talking about masculine.
Black Dragon is exactly right. That is precisely how I engage with any girl that becomes regular, including the lovely Miss Thick. That’s a formula I’ve been using for years… as I watch the girls try (and often succeed) at chipping away at that tight frame. That’s my experience.
The relationship is her territory. The pickup is mine. Bachelorhood is mine. Relationship is hers. It’s why I’m not aiming for any kind of traditional relationship for now.
He is talking about the “hurricane” (feminine) vs the “container” (masculine). The feminine hurricane will overwhelm the container, by it’s sheer chaos. The way a flood can overwhelm the damn. Not all the time. Maybe only rarely. But certainly. And it’s devastating when it happens… might destroy the damn.
I know you’ve been in some long term relationships. I know you’re a solid, badass guy. What was your experience? You didn’t get the overwhelm from those girls?
I think there is big difference from “seeing a girl” vs that long term, “living together” space (I think you and I are in agreement on that living together part). Black Dragon works temporarily (weeks to years), for high status guys. Long term, you will get overwhelmed by the chaos of the feminine. Not just your girl, but her, the kids, the dog getting into the trash, the actual weather, the wheel of your car coming off on the freeway, etc. That’s the nature of the feminine. Chaos. Beautiful, tempting chaos.
I think a very few men can hold that together in the long term. A few men can win the WAR in a noble, chin-up way. But even they will lose battles as the feminine gets away from them. As the feminine in themselves rises up, perhaps.
And Deida’s solution for men (as I see it), is to try anyway (if that’s what you want). And that success-failure-success-failure bit is the “art” you create as a man, trying to dance with the hurricane. The hippies call it the “yoga” of relationship. Even seeing it like this is part of you being “consciousness” as a man… that lack of offense or defense in terms of your presence. And you take action from that place.
Hmmm. That’s what I think.
I think that is what Deida is saying.
“The Machinery of Freedom” by Milton Friedman’s son, David Friedman (also a professor at Santa Clara) is a fascinating treatise on why libertarianism is good for (almost) everything. I recommend it to everyone I know.
I can’t stand Twitter. Not enough room to express thoughts. And has become a haven for social justice warriors and those on the other extreme (alt-right, neo-nazis, etc.). Plus, with their new algorithm, you will see political garbage in your feed even if you don’t follow any of those accounts, because you see who liked them. To each their own.
The beginners, yes. I don’t know who worldwidegame is, but if that’s him in his banner, he needs a haircut before he even sets one foot on the street.
Most men would be better off putting time into improving themselves as MEN before doing daygame approaches.
But who am I to talk, I haven’t had sex in five weeks. I’m not used to being back in a city with so much male competition. Have been texting ~10 girls, almost all have gone cold, and none started out texting enthusiastically. Hard to make a case for putting in the time to keep a girl interested when they have so many other options.
Hey Pancake.
Thanks for the book recommendation… I know the book I’m reading was co-produced by both his parents, so I bet he had a solid education growing up. The Libertarians are starting to have real appeal to me. Post election, I’ve had several redpill moments. Not committed conclusions, but my mind is open like never before.
Twitter… yeah, super lame to be “extreme short format.” I hear they are beta testing doubling their char count. That’ll help. I write 2000-6000 words per post here, so I get it… the char limit kills me. So does the lack of depth. But it’s good for connection. That’s what I’m using it for… breadth and speed.
>> Have been texting ~10 girls, almost all have gone cold, and none started out texting enthusiastically
Game surprises me with the level of superstition… but here is some more: Nobody I know in CA is doing well right now. Ha. That’s anti-logic to believe that, but it’s true… I don’t know anybody on the left coast that is killing it right now. None of my wings and I have several. I used to have a pro-Fall/pro-Winter superstition (and maybe I still do), but I had a good Spring/Summer for the first time in my life this year… all daygame. We’ll see.
Cheers to you!
Good luck. Try breaking up your patterns and “talk to girls” while you’re doing stuff, say, cues, bars, parks, etc. Specially at places where girls are out to fuck, aka nightlife (anywhere).
Thanks, man. It went okay today, as I got warmed up… I think making this commitment freaked me out as much as anything else, but I got a great start toward my 150 sets today. And I should be very warmed up for tomorrow.
I don’t think I’ll do much night stuff here at all… just not interested at this point of my life… but I hear you on finding girls when they are in a sexual mood. We’ll see.
BTW, this last weekend I got some great exposure to some concepts/tactics that work perfectly with your RAMP concept. That’s a red-hot concept. I still need to grow into it, but I’m I can see opportunities more and more.
I hope you’re well, man.
Thanks again.
NYC!!!!
we are all rooting for you, my man! nyc in october must be amazing. right now it says tuesday, 6pm, 58 degrees. perfect for a nice fresh walk, a glass of wine, and some rough, rough #anal. oh yeah!
Thanks, Riv.
It got hot yesterday and is warming up a bit more today. Perfect for most, hot for me. I wish it was cooler, my northern European genes are sweating it out here, but I’ll get some work done.
Perfect tshirt weather at night… I was out last night, and it was great “gutter game” conditions.
Nash said: “I know you’ve been in some long term relationships. I know you’re a solid, badass guy. What was your experience? You didn’t get the overwhelm from those girls? I think there is big difference from “seeing a girl” vs that long term, “living together” space (I think you and I are in agreement on that living together part). Black Dragon works temporarily (weeks to years), for high status guys. Long term, you will get overwhelmed by the chaos of the feminine”
We’re on the same page. I don’t see Deida as beta, but I do think it’s blue/purple pill (meaning wishful thinking and not reality) to expect anything more than having a girl in your rotation 2-3 years tops, unless you promise monogamy. And even with monogamy her attraction will fade after 2-3 years. It’s how women are wired to ensure they go out and get new mates for genetic diversity. I suspect this is what Deida is trying to address with his “it’s never enough for the feminine”…to me women’s constant push for more can often be a subconscious way of rotating one man out for the next one. (painful as it may be for some to read I really valued this post for insight into female nature, even if most will never admit it: http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2015/05/25/confessions-of-a-serial-monogamist/
Since internalizing this red pill approach and following what Blackdragon and others lay out, I haven’t been “overwelmed” by any of the girls I’ve seen, but none of the girls I’ve seen have yet to exceed the two year mark either. But I don’t expect anything more than that. It’s part of life. All good things come to an end and there’s a shelf-life with girls.
The good news is if you have high value and are good at bringing girls in to your life, you will be able to regularly feel the new relationship energy that you get in the first 6 months with a new girl and feel it all the time because you’re always bringing in new girls. So to me the red pill is sweet and totally worth the reality that it’s only temporary. I think the key here is having the right (red pill) expectations, but to also have strong relationships with friends and family that are more stable while in addition having a bigger mission in life outside of women.
Kill it, Nash!
A plan/calender is the best friend of discipline.
If your flake ratio is too high, you might look into the sexual intent you convey. Do you touch them quickly? strong tiger eyes? ‘Where do you live’?
‘rather be too bold than too timid’
Yea daygame makes you grow, as Peterson says, rejection from females is ‘Nature’s rejection herself’. Biggest pain for biggest growth.
Self doubt will vanish, all you do now is provide the clay to be leveraged in the near future.
Best wishes
-IJ