NYC: Final Stats | I Broke My Promise
Here are the final notes on my NYC daygame trip… but first, a confession:
I promised to approach 30 girls per day, for five days. I was targeting 150 girls that week (I had my reasons for that number). I did not do that. I promised I would, and I did not. I want to own that.
When I tally up the numbers (and I just did), I talked to 127 girls in six days. That’s a lot of girls… but 127 is not 150.
I am disappointed in myself that I made a promise and didn’t keep it. And… that I was unwise enough to make the kind of promise I made (more on that in a bit). I can do better and I know it.
Making promises is a great way to hold yourself to the fire. My commitment did exactly that. And while I feel very good about that trip on many levels, I don’t want to gloss over the fact that I said I would do something and didn’t do it. I want the folks around me to trust me. And perhaps more importantly, I want to trust myself.
Alright. Confession is over. Let’s get on with the post.
Here are my final numbers:
MON: 28 approaches, 1 lead
TUE: 27 approaches, 4 leads, 1 date with the Japanese Teenager
WED: 33 approaches, 2 leads, 1 i-date with the Preacher’s Daughter
THU: 17 approaches, 3 leads, 1 date with the Chinese Fashion girl
FRI: 14 approaches, 3 leads, 2nd date with the Chinese Fashion girl
SAT: 8 approaches, 1 lead
So. 127 girls. Not bad for a week. It was an unwise commitment, but it did the job it was meant to do: I talked to a lot of girls. And I got three women out on proper dates. That’s good work.
Why 150 approaches in a week? That’s kind of insane… why do that?
I had a very short window to get laid and that was obvious to me. I really wanted to claim a notch while I was in NYC, and dammit I tried. It’s totally possible to get laid in a week (or even an afternoon), but the shorter your trip, the more you’re relying on luck. While “fortune favors the prepared mind,” it’s hard to be prepared when you’re new in town. It takes time to become a “master of time and space” in a new location. “Amateurs talk about tactics, but professionals study logistics.” I made excellent progress everyday, but I didn’t have my local logistics locked down when I arrived.
I knew this ^ would be true before I left, so my plan was to compensate with extra work.
Since time was limited, the thing I could most control was my work output. So… I worked hard. And because of that work, I had some great adventures. 127 girls in a week is a bit ridiculous, but it did the job. I earned some stories and some time with cute young girls.
No I did not get laid. But the biggest issue I have with the week was the terrible approach-to-lead ratio. It’s obvious my leads were very low given that amount of work.
I took 14 leads that week. That would be very good for a week… until you consider the number of approaches it took to get those leads. That was about one in nine approaches. That sucks. I am painfully aware of that. That is worse than at home (certainly), and worse than I did in Tokyo. But… in terms of total leads, it’s great (great = 14 leads is enough to get something going). Again, even with a terrible conversation rate, the plan worked (to a point).
Should you get more than one lead in nine/so approaches? Yeah. You should. That’s beyond obvious to me (at my level of skill/experience). In this case… part of my problem was that I freaked myself out.
Part of the reason why I didn’t hit my goal (and why I could do it now, even if I think that’s a foolishly over-aggressive work rate) is that the sheer weight of that commitment stressed me out. Days before I arrived I was already nervous. 30 girls a day is hard enough, and it’s even harder when you’ve made a public declaration about it… and feel serious pressure to hit your number, every day, for five days.
Putting that kind of pressure on yourself makes your sets more “tense” and “forced” and that likely had something to do with why my approach-to-lead ratio was not great at all. I make no claims to being especially good at this, but I was even less-so with that pressure looking me in the mirror each day before I went out.
The girls weren’t seeing the best version of me. That’s for sure.
However… as the days went by, I loosened up.
This post is mostly all “business,” so I’m not telling the stories about all the great interactions I had in those 127 approaches. Yes, I got blownout. But my wings could tell you all the times I “fell in love” or was charmed out of my sneakers by some daygame girl. There was the crazy-fancy power-shopper that I had a stare-down session with, the Chinese girls in the 50s dress, the girls that blushed… or made me blush.
And then there were the leads… and from those leads came four dates with three different girls in six nights. I dated four of six nights I was there. That’s pretty awesome. I think that’s better than I expected. This is the part of the story when I get proud. That is not easy to do. There is some skill there. All cold approach. No “pipe-lining” (in advance of the trip) via online game. Street hustle only.
And of those four dates, I had two of those girls back in my room. Not bad. If the Daygame Gods
weren’t such cunts were more generous… I would have had my notch.
As it is, if you’re a skeptical spectator, I would imagine this would be more evidence that daygame isn’t worth it. I talked to 127 girls and didn’t get laid. True. And if you’re one of the best in the world, I could also see you thinking this was lame… for those few guys, I humbly concede. There are men that are much better than me. That is for certain. Other men could have worked less, and gotten laid. Very true.
Once I got past the first few days (Monday was painful and Wednesday afternoon also sucked), I had a great time. Both on the street and on those dates. I did. Some juicy excellent moments. Overall, I am totally satisfied and came away more confident.
And while I broke my promise… I made progress in terms of my experience and education. And I collected more evidence that I can do this whenever, wherever. I worked very hard. And with more time, I know I could have produced more. And I know that if I could do those exact six days over, knowing what I know now, but starting over with all new girls, I also would have produced more… because I would have the confidence and logistics of a man with some local experience. That matters.
It was a great experiment. I’m quite glad I did it.
The place to get good at daygame is where you live, NOT while travelling. Period. But… if you want to “test yourself,” test your game, “away game” is exactly that. A wild test of your ability to track, trap and close in a foreign land.
And beyond the experience with the girls, I had some great interaction with Runner. He and I have been friends for a long time, but we’ve never spent that much time together. I would have traded some of my results to ensure that time with him… but that wasn’t necessary. We winged each other, and improved as daygamers in each other’s company. And I also met and gamed with David Burn of LongBurnTheFire… also a great guy, and another chance to learn and share. And move forward.
It was cool to share the streets with my wings that week. Big thanks to both those guys.
So, NYC was awesome. It had volume, and volume equals opportunity. For a guy (like me) that likes Asian girls, the quality of girls was surprisingly similar to the girls in my little foggy town in California… but there were more girls in general (NYC has a much bigger population than my town), and perhaps a few more Japanese girls, in terms of percentages (which I loved… Japanese girls… oishii desu).
And back to my commitment:
30 girls a day is totally doable. In Japan, I had no such commitment, and did 30+ on several days. But five days in a row?? I’d never tried that before… I do not recommend it.
30 girls a day, for several days in a row… is too much.
In other news, I’m going to Tokyo early next year. And I will approach a ridiculous number of girls while I’m there, I am sure. But I won’t force myself to do 150/week. It may happen. But it won’t be forced. That was a mistake I made in NYC that I won’t make again. Goal setting is a great idea. But too much pressure is counter-productive. I will be wiser about that in the future.
30 girls a day… is too much.
About the stats:
Time to fly back go mother Russia ??. A non-jaunt trip resulted with 2 daygame lays/2 new flags ?? ?? (3 dates & 32 approaches). I’ll be back and hopefully get the ?? flag. pic.twitter.com/hMItdjXGwj
— Seven Daygame (@seven_dg) November 24, 2017
See Seven pulling two lays in 30 approaches? I have never run game like that. Not even close. Obviously not on this trip.
In general, the stats I report are lower than other guys in the community (I’m thinking of Krauser, Roy Walker and most recently, those stats above from Seven). I’m not overly interested in comparing my stats to other guys. I want to compare my stats to my life BEFORE I had any daygame talent… and compare how I’m doing now vs how I was doing last month, or last year. The only competition I’m into is me vs my former self… and I’m winning there. No doubt.
With that said, there is a “story” in why my stats show low return on investment (I’m not complaining). I know I’m not that bad at daygame. I’ve seen enough other guys in the field to know I’m pretty solid. But I’ll come back to this point in some other post. I have some theories.
BELOW I have more to say about this trip… In addition to my experiences with the girls, the NYC trip inspired some more thoughts about game and life. Below I go over a few loose notes I took on my plane ride home.
Thank you, NYC. Thanks to my New York wings, especially Runner (great to hang out with you, man). Thanks to all the beautiful girls that danced with me on the sidewalk. It was another great adventure. Another chance to growth and to share some tales with this Tribe of Men.
I love this game. Very proud and happy to be a part of the daygame community.
“Different bait for different fish.” This… is something that’s been on my mind for a while. It was a vague formulation before I went to NYC. I thought about it a LOT while I was there. And will write about it more another time. EX: There is a pattern of how I end up with artsy girls… and with smart girls… and with high-end girls… and with sober girls. Over and over these are the girls I end up with. Both of the girls in my bed in NYC had advanced degrees in art. Fishing for femininity… all three girls I dated there were very feminine. Very much so. I ran Octopus game on them each time. More on this later.
“Leaning back.” The impetus of my NYC trip was a men’s seminar (the first weekend I was there). In an exercise at that seminar I got some feedback that I need to lean back. The man that was counseling me meant I lean in physically. I thought about it a lot, and I think it applies to me at the emotionally level as well, and at the level of attention I give women (but in those areas I’m less certain). I think “different bait for different fish” might help me make more sense of it all. Or maybe not. And then on the street with David Burn, he also noticed I “lean forward” (physically) a lot. David advised me to push my hips forward a bit to get me to lean back. That was great coaching. He has excellent presence on the street and I have been working to improve my posture and… lean back a bit more. I’ve asked Sundance to keep an eye on me and to speak up when I’m too “forward” with women on the street.
“Octopus game.” This is related to both of the points above. I have hinted at this a bit, but I’ll go ahead and spit it out now… This is about my “style” of seduction. The way I envelope the girl, both physically and emotionally. I’ve talked about the way I run my dinner dates… sit side by side, her facing the table, me straddling her, a leg on each side of her bar stool, literally wrapped around her. If an octopus could date cute Asian girls, I’m convinced it would look remarkably like I do on dates. It was the way I wrapped around Fashion Girl at Roof Bar. Or the way I held Siren when we slept. Or the way I used to feed my ex on dates when she/I were together (we’d only use one fork at dinner sometimes, we’d share plates and I’d feed her every bite). And the way I lean forward. I overwhelm these girls with words, with closeness, with knowledge, with leadership, with dominance in bed (girls are almost always passive/reactive with me… Even when they are active, it’s because I make them do it, pull them on top of me, tell them to suck my cock, etc.). Octopus game. Can an octopus lean back? Would it want to? I don’t know. I claim no innovations here… this is a description, not a breakthrough. This is me, exploring me.
“You get more IOIs with a wing.” It was very clear out with Runner that he and I had a synergistic effect when our vibes combined. If we each had an individual vibe of “3,” combined we were 10. And the girls could feel it. Runner said it’s because we’re having an interesting conversation, we’re “awake” on the street, we’re looking around, and we’re predators. Girls notice all that. I like it. I have never been into IOIs when I’m alone… they don’t seem to indicate much (I’d much rather surprise her). But when I get an IOI with a wing… much more indicative of something real. True also when I’m out at home with Sundance and YoungGuns.
“Venue game.” Another thing I took away from David Burn was “venue game.” At first, I hated the idea. I was daygame-centric, and assumed this was some kind of weasel to get out of cold approach. I was wrong. David runs cold approach, but sometimes a half-step removed from the sidewalk… and because it’s not out on the street, it’s a bit warmer. We did some approaches in his favorite venue (which I’m intentionally being vague about, out of respect for him… but the venue doesn’t really matter). I love his idea… I’m trying to find similar venues back at home. Warmer opens means more hooks. I’m 100% into sidewalk game. But David is onto something. I like it.
“Types.” For years I have been complaining that we often are too generic in our advice/discussion about game. We over generalize, meaning… we miss the nuance of “what kind of girl” vs “what kind of guy” and the “type of game” that best suits each combination. In marketing, the nuance of each “type” might be referred to as “segmentation.” But that word doesn’t work for most folks. Talking about “types” is easer for people to understand. I’m going to use that term more. The “Instagram” type. The “Business Girl/Career Woman” type. The “Shy Artist” type. The “SJW type.” Etc. A lot of interesting guys have written about types and I want to do a post on that topic soon.
“5th Avenue.” I did a bit of research and I didn’t see much emphasis on 5th Avenue as a daygame spot. A mention or two of Rockefeller Center, which is exactly where I mean. I was all about it. If I had to do over, I’d do 5th Avenue almost exclusively. High traffic. Lots of tourists. Lots of high-end girls… (goes back to “types”). Best time of day was 3-5 PM. 2 PM might have been good also, but it was hot when I was there (so I avoided the hot part of the day a bit). Gets LOUD at 5 PM… so many busses, but still very workable.
“Vibe by time of day.” You have your personal vibe, and there is also the vibe of the location… and time of day. I am more and more convinced that 2-5 PM is ideal for daygame. Most of us err toward 4 to 8 PM, as that fits our work schedule better (and that’s legit, I get it). But the girls on the street between 2 and 5 are qualitatively different than after 5. They are softer. Slower. Less of the “get home now!” after work crowd. I recommend that interval. I would trade some of the volume around end of work for the “softer vibe” of early afternoon.
“David Burn.” The guy behind LongBurnTheFire is a cool, solid guy. It was interesting to be out with him, I felt like I was learning from him almost immediately. He hasn’t hung out with many community guys, so he never gets real-life feedback. He does a lot of things very differently than I do. From my POV, everything I should see in his game looked very good. Does a mix of direct/indirect. He might prefer less foot traffic than I like. He has studied several guys, including Roosh. Showed me “venue” game. Gave me good feedback on “leaning back.” He’s going to do very well. I’m stoked to know him.
“Jason Capital.” I stumbled into an old product by this guy about body language called “Advanced Body Language Seminar.” I watched/listened to this program while I did some client work in the mornings while I was in NYC. It was very good, and I have been thinking about his “OGSPE” advice when I’m on the street. I’m not sure Jason is coaching anymore. He seems cocky/conceited… but in a charming way. I bet he was very good in game. He’s a smart guy and that was a good product. Not sure that product is still for sale… if you can find it, it’s worth the hour/two to watch it.
“Joshua the Lift Driver.” As I was riding back to the airport to go home, my Lift driver was a Puerto Rican guy named Joshua. He asked how I was doing and I hinted at what I had been up to, he was interested, asked for more detail and I told him. He was then very interested. He went on to school me on game for the whole ride to the airport. Excellent head for game. I think he has studied a bit, but mostly, he comes from a culture that really gets male/female dynamics. He reminded me of Yohami, in many ways (Yohami would like what he had to say). One interesting POV was that he puts a lot of the emphasis on “she is choosing you, just don’t fuck it up.” And that sounds passive to me (and would be confusing to new guys), but I think that’s because he takes his approach for granted. He’s not worried about the approach (or himself)… so the focus is different for him. Smart guy. He’s in a relationship now.
“Gutter game.” On Wednesday of that trip I took my 2nd pass at Gutter Game (which I am not good at). I did three approaches after dinner that night and took the Preacher’s Daughter off the street, on a date, and back to my hotel (no sex). Gutter game doesn’t feel quite right for me yet, but that night I felt very “on.” I was looking for single girls walking around “with their eyes open.” That night is seemed obvious who was ready. And I wasn’t at all surprised when I hooked that girl and took her on a date. I tried this in Tokyo and didn’t go well (perhaps because I was in a terrible mood at the time). Did I just get lucky in NYC? Maybe I should try late night game here at home? I bet this is MUCH better with a solid wing… I’d like to explore this more.
“Morning Game.” We were out on Saturday at 11 AM in Runner’s neighborhood. So many hot, single girls. I’ve never done “morning game” before. It seemed very wholesome. Tons of beautiful girls. I should try more of this.
“Night game vs daygame.” I didn’t drink much on this trip. I didn’t go out at night at all… except to scout date spots or to be on dates. This is a theme of my game progression… I am more and more interested in trading the bullshit and booze of night game for better health/vibe for the next day when I can hit the streets again. In case it’s not obvious… I love daygame so much, I’m not at all interested in wasting time/energy at bars/clubs anymore. I love to drink with friends. And I love to dance (at clubs/festivals). But that’s not about game. For game… give me the day and the streets.
“Tourist Game.” I think the best odds of you getting laid when you are trying to game in a foreign city, is to game other tourists. I’m confident that’s not an original thought, but I’ve never heard anyone specifically say this before. Hitting on tourists is a good strategy if you’re a tourist. EX: Two of the girls I dated on this trip were tourists. And several of the girls I’ve fucked at home from daygame were visiting. You’ll do well with tourists as a daygamer, particularly if you can lead. Biggest disadvantage of being a tourist as a man, is your lack of knowledge/confidence in the local territory… Harder to lead local girls than it would be for a local guy with equivalent skill. You should be better than a local guy that’s low-masculine, low-leadership… but all else equal, his command of the territory will make him better equipped to impress with territorial knowledge and to be able to get around easy and take her home. Non-local guys should look clumbsy by comparison. But if you can catch a tourist, and you lead well, she should notice no handicap.
“Logistical Notes.” Have good logistics, don’t underestimate this. You can out-game a local boy if you have better logistics. Logistics means… Having a good place for sexual isolation potential (private, no judgment, few roommates, close to central transportation to minimize her commute, to make it easier to go home after she has been back to your place, to make it easier to go out near your spot… all reduces friction for your trip). Having a place close to your hunting grounds make is easier to game, saves you time, allows you to pull if you have SDL skills, makes it easy for her to come to you, etc. Once you have your place nailed down, KNOW THE TERRITORY (immediately try all the food/drink/relax spots near your place, different lunch/restaurant spots every day to build a range of options and comfort with those options). You can even use your place as a talking point, and it gives you a reason why you’re out gaming (you live there) and you can accuse her (“why are YOU in my hood?”). You’ll know the food/drink, service people should be able to social proof you (and boost your state), you can pull easier (both SDL and post-date). Caveat is that this has to be a place with girls you like (see TYPES)… If you like hoodrats, all this needs to be in the hood… if you like young students, this needs to be near college area… if you like party girls, near the bars/clubs… fancy shopping girls, near the malls/shopping districts, etc.
“Attention, Affection, and Sex.” When I was out with the Preacher’s Daughter, I spit out some line that “relationships between men and women are about ‘attention, affection, and sex.'” I know I went this direction, as she was “no to sex” (for religious reasons). I said that what men and women need from each other is about getting high-quality attention (and I gave her the eyes), affection (and I demonstrated on her liberally), and that you can’t really know someone intimately without seeing what they’re like sexually (“there is an ease that comes post-sex”). All this was good “birdsong” material. She ate it up. I like it as more of “stuff I say to girls.” Sundance likes it too. I’ll use that angle again.
“Girl Tornado.” I did not quite get a girl tornado spinning in my six nights in NYC. But four dates in six nights is not bad. And I had girls texting me I wasn’t even bothering to read. That’s what the beginning of a tornado looks like… just not enough time to whip up a full “feeding frenzy.”
“No Daygamers in NYC.” I didn’t see a single daygamer out on the street. Not one. I’m sure there are many… but I never saw another guy other than me and my wings. I was out weekdays, but still. Hmmm. 5th Ave. Didn’t see a single guy out approaching.
“A Week Is Not Enough Time.” Six nights is totally possible to “get lucky.” Particularly via SDL. But, it was hard to warm up to a really aggressive “tornado level” game when you’re still adjusting to a city, and you don’t have time to build much critical mass and work your leads. In Toyko when I was doing idates almost every day, and eventually my SDL pull, I was super warmed up. So SDLs are the strategy for short term, but most guys don’t have themselves/town figure out short term. Practically speaking, SDLs are better for mid-long term trips… just like dates. For me, I’d plan to start with a long stay (2+ weeks), aim for a mix of SDL and date-based game, and expect things to “whip up” after a few days of number farming and pinging each day’s leads. By the time I got that far in NYC, it was time to go. I’m planning on gaming Vancouver next year… and I’ll plan for two weeks, min.
Cool…. that’s it.
“So. 127 girls. Not bad for a week. It was an unwise commitment, but it did the job it was meant to do: I talked to a lot of girls. And I got three women out on proper dates. That’s good work.” <<<< Hell yeah, it is! That's more than the most I've ever done in a whole month.
"Should you get more than one lead in nine/so approaches? Yeah. You should." <<<< Says who? This is poker, man. Downswings are real, skill notwithstanding. This year has been terrible for me in terms of results. Only managed to bed 5 new girls the whole year, and I did the work – okay, perhaps not all the work I could have done, but still. Does that mean I've gotten worse at the game? I think not, since it is very rare nowadays to get a bad reaction from girls, which I did get when I started out. Sometimes things just don't come your way for a long period of time. What I did notice is that at the beginning my enthusiasm and compulsion for bedding girls was insane, and that might have done the trick. Perhaps I'm starting to finally feel the burnout after two years of daygaming non-stop?
"Other men could have worked less, and gotten laid. Very true." <<<< Yes, but totally irrelevant.
"30 girls a day, for several days in a row… is too much." <<< Totally agree. There's no need to do that many approaches in such a short timespan. I know this, since whenever I try to cram up, my vibe goes to shit, interactions start to feel mechanical and reiterative, and I can pretty much forget about results. But then, doing only 20 – 30 approaches a month is just plain lazy and you'd be relying on good luck. So a sweet spot must be found – for me that's between 20 and 30 weekly, and no less than 10 every time I go out, but no more than 20 either.
" 'No Daygamers in NYC.' I didn’t see a single daygamer out on the street. Not one. I’m sure there are many… but I never saw another guy other than me and my wings. I was out weekdays, but still. Hmmm. 5th Ave. Didn’t see a single guy out approaching." <<<< Same phenomenon here. I've been living almost two months in this big city, have gone out regularly and have never encountered another daygamer doing his thing -. maybe I looked but I didn't see properly.
>> Downswings are real, skill notwithstanding. This year has been terrible for me in terms of results. Only managed to bed 5 new girls the whole year
This is ^ real. My NYC plan had way too much pressure, but actually felt like an upswing… just not enough time.
>> Does that mean I’ve gotten worse at the game? I think not, since it is very rare nowadays to get a bad reaction from girls, which I did get when I started out
This ^ helps me. I haven’t had a new notch in months. I intentionally made sure I wasn’t only a daygame machine this year… lots of trips, several festivals, two weekends in seminars in the last month, etc… All that disrupts the flow of tornado cultivation.
I did a lot of approaching these last few months, thought. And no new notches despite a lot of leads.
And I wonder sometimes if I’m getting worse but I don’t think so. There is something to be said about “working hard” and steadily and how that can sharpen your edge… but I think my game is fine. Not in top-gear, but fine.
>> So a sweet spot must be found – for me that’s between 20 and 30 weekly, and no less than 10 every time I go out, but no more than 20 either.
Viva Daygame in Shitsville. Good to hear from you, man.
“You get more IOIs with a wing.”
Having a wing keeps me warmer and prevents the “state drain” so I have less AA and feel like I am doing better. Not sure I have enough data yet to say if I actually do better with a wing or out alone.
“Vibe by time of day.”
My theory right now seems to be the earlier of a half an hour before sundown or 5PM. I’m doing 2-4PM currently in NYC. The area Nash and I were focusing, around 5th ave, changes during the holidays – there is a lot of Christmas music playing now, bell ringers collecting money for salvation army. It’s louder.
Hey Runner. I’m curious to know if you’ve tried a heavy session around 10-noon in your neighborhood? Like maybe hit the gym, have a coffee, watch some game clips to get fired up, and then “explode” onto your neighbor and swoop on some of this wholesome greyhounds???
I think that has potential. I can still imagine some of those girls we saw on our way to the French burger place.
Don’t beat yourself up – 127 is a crazy number anyway :-)
My question would be, what did these girls want, what did they react to, what did they not react to? I see you’re putting a lot of emphasis on your particular approach to game, but all of that is irrelevant until the basics are covered and you know what the girls are perceiving / what they want / what they react to.
On that note I’ll leave this Max video I was just watching. He even has a kiss close while doing daygame
This one goes for Pancake as well
>> Don’t beat yourself up – 127 is a crazy number anyway :-)
I’m being a bit serious with myself about breaking a promise… not about not hitting 150. But I hear you. This is about integrity… not about a fixed number of girls.
>> My question would be, what did these girls want, what did they react to, what did they not react to?
Well… each girl was a bit different! : ]
>> I see you’re putting a lot of emphasis on your particular approach to game, but all of that is irrelevant until the basics are covered and you know what the girls are perceiving / what they want / what they react to.
Agree 10000%. Daygame is a “delivery” vehicle. It delivers girls to us as players, and it delivers our personality to those girls. From there we apply what we know (“the basics”) and we learn more (“the basics”).
Daygame is as good a place as any to start the chicken-egg process of learning/winning/losing as we practice and imprint new ref experiences.
I got extremely lucky in Hong Kong. The lay reports from that trip will come later, but both of them were Yes girls and they IOIed me because I have a specific look/style. I look like J-Pop stars and apparently it’s huge in their countries (Indonesia and Philippines). Just opening and escalating did the job. My in-street game not good and I ran into zero LMR for both of them. I guess this is what “Good looking guy” game is like. Haha!
I have never ever had this kinda of results before! And BTW, I would have traded those 2 lays with a lay with the Japanese-Chinese (she was the third date) in a heart beat!
And man! Give yourself a pat on the back.127 sets a week is a lot of work! I honestly don’t think I would have the energy to do that anymore! Unless do “Hit and run” but what the point?
I found this comment in my spam folder, so I just approved it a day or so ago.
>> I got extremely lucky in Hong Kong. The lay reports from that trip will come later, but both of them were Yes girls and they IOIed me because I have a specific look/style. I look like J-Pop stars and apparently it’s huge in their countries (Indonesia and Philippines). Just opening and escalating did the job.
Hey, cool. You have an interesting story… French-Asian, yeah? I want to get more into your blog:
>> And man! Give yourself a pat on the back.127 sets a week is a lot of work! I honestly don’t think I would have the energy to do that anymore!
The first half… was mostly “work,” and I did it 1.) Because I made the promise I made, and 2.) Because I knew I needed to work hard if I was going to get laid with a short trip.
But toward the end… I was much more relaxed. The dates had boosted my confidence, so I was having more fun (and more success). I could have done even more at the end of the trip… but I had dates every night.
I like talking to girls. It’s fun.
There’s gold in this post.
I wonder if Fashion Girl & Preacher’s Daughter came back to your hotel room because they knew that’s where they could get the ultimate octopus experience. That is where they could feel you leaning into them the most, leaning in without actually coming inside. That is where they could enjoy your sexual attention and your limbs most tightly wrapped around them – but without giving it up, because after all, they are sexually unavailable.
I find that girls are very intuitive and efficient when it comes to what they want and which guys can provide it to them, and what I suspect is that your ‘leaning in’ both emotionally and physically and both on the streets and on dates is in effect sending a signal that is filtering for girls who crave the octopus i.e., sexually unavailable but sexually attention hungry girls, that is girls that want to be chased but not taken.
I imagine most sexually unavailable/conservative girls are walking around with an octopus deficiency i.e., they lack intimate sexual/physical attention because provider types and so-called ‘nice guys’ would never be sexually aggressive with them while most player types will filter them out and opt instead for more available girls and for the players that do pursue them, the girls won’t feel comfortable enough around them because of the sexual threat to actually let them close and experience their octopus energy.
So these girls get hit on a lot but they do not experience the octopus because it is rare that they meet a man that is *both* sexually aggressive AND comfortable enough to let close.
You are both. You are a guy who leans in emotionally AND who leans in sexually whereas most men only lean in emotionally OR lean in sexually (i.e., to a degree you have both The Wildman AND The Peacemaker archetype according to Aslen Claymore’s model — I recall you’re not a fan of the guy but I think his theory has a lot going for it, really it’s just Jung with some clever marketing…. this is a powerful combo but the problem is that they are both ‘pulling’ archetypes and need to be balanced by a ‘pushing’ archetype e.g., The Trickster or The Warrior).
So you are providing something they want (sexual/physical attention) because you lean in sexually and do so without threatening them (because you also lean in emotionally). If you enjoy it, it’s a win-win. But otherwise, you may want to filter for more sexually available girls/filter out less available girls. Leaning out more is probably a good start, both physically and emotionally.
Now all this presumes that a given girl has a uniform level of sexual availability whereas in reality Preacher Daughter’s availability will vary from guy to guy and even vary for an individual guy depending on how he shows up and his in-the-moment vibe but I’m guessing her general availability is below average so you get the point…
One more thing…I notice your ‘conversion rate’ was significantly higher the second half of the trip (18% or 7/39) than the first half (8% or 7/88). Why is this? Is it because you were warmed up, more confident from the leads you had gotten so far, or were somehow targeting girls that were more receptive/you had more chemistry with (this would mesh with the fact that you did a much lower number of approaches during the second half)…or something else? Maybe it’s just a small sample and random. In any case, next time you do a daygame jaunt like this, *maybe* it’s worth trying to flip this. Start off with a lesser number of approaches and gradually build up as you get warmed up and your vibe improves. Then you’ll be doing the most work when your vibe is at its peak.
Yeah, man. Mon… was horrible. A mix of my nerves (which were not good) and moving around too much (trying to meet up w/ Runner), instead of focusing on 5th Ave (which I hadn’t found yet), no confidence in my logistics…
Wed… was more of the same, plus a particularly muggy/hot day. I was dripping with sweat on 5th, then wasted some time going down toward NYU… were classes had just let out and I felt like I was trying to pickup up girls in preschool. I like college girls, but I’m used to them in mixed/neutral territory. Hitting on them on their “campus” felt weird…
So… I had a rough start. I never would have worked that hard on those days (I would have done a few, and bagged it for the day). But since I had made that promise, I just thundered along.
>> *maybe* it’s worth trying to flip this. Start off with a lesser number of approaches and gradually build up as you get warmed up and your vibe improves. Then you’ll be doing the most work when your vibe is at its peak.
This is ^ very wise. Yeah.
I would encourage guys to do a mix of exploring the neighborhood and approaching for the first couple days… DO APPROACH, but maybe 10-15. Then next day, you should be much better (which I was, Tues was great). Build momentum.
It is also true that I could have done a LOT more sets… but I had dates every night after Monday. So I would cut off around 6 to be ready for a 7 PM date. I was often warming up (Thu/Fri, for sure) and could have easily kept going and added leads… perhaps at a better conv rate.
And overall… I was doing BETTER each day, and that should show in my vibe.
>> I imagine most sexually unavailable/conservative girls are walking around with an octopus deficiency
Hmmm. You’re playing along generously with all the models I set up (which i’m not sure are at all correct)… but I like the story you’re telling.
I want to question my own assumption that these girls are “conservative” or that that even means anything. They are NOT “wild” extraverts, that’s for sure. They resisted my repeated advances… but maybe they are “just like any other girl.” Or they are giving me what they think I need/want. Maybe another guy could have taken them easily.
Playing Devil’s advocate here ^.
>> I find that girls are very intuitive and efficient when it comes to what they want and which guys can provide it to them, and what I suspect is that your ‘leaning in’ both emotionally and physically and both on the streets and on dates is in effect sending a signal that is filtering for girls who crave the octopus
You’re right inline with what I’m saying about “different bait for different fish.” But you’re taking the Fish’s POV of that story. That maybe I am a certain kind of bait (and fisherman, for that matter), so I consistently hook a certain type of girl… one I really like… but they tend to have very predictable traits. “Conservative,” introverted, artsy, foreign-born (when I’m in the US), etc.
>> sexually unavailable but sexually attention hungry girls, that is girls that want to be chased but not taken
First off… I do assume all girls are sexually hungry. Even my “virgin” types.
And maybe this is more of a pattern than I think it is… but I don’t think I am sourcing sexually unavailable girls. I bet 1$ Fashion Girl would have fucked me if I was not leaving town the next day. She told me she wanted to, and that she thought the sex would be very good… she was at home saying that. I think that signal of me leaving town bothered her. I think it was about what that would say about HER, not about me at all. The Preacher’s Daughter… is a very random story (that was all about me making her comfortable).
But you might be right in the idea that I am SOFT enough to get “shy girls” to relax, but have the SKILLS to escalate… so these soft girls find themselves in a sexual situation that some other guys wouldn’t get to (because those guys were too fast/hard upfront… or too endlessly soft).
And your comments remind me of how many virgins I’ve dated in the last year. If those girls are to be believed… I’ve dated maybe 10-15 virgins in a year. And it might be that my vibe is palatable to a virgin. And that my eyes tune in on virgin-like types. I will point out that I have not fucked any of them… but not for lack of effort.
Very interesting comments, man. I appreciate them very much. Thanks.
Still need to read the second half of the post, but regarding the logistical number of sets issue. As yourself and other commentators have pointed out, 150 approaches in a week is nuts, which I agree with. But above that was your commitment to do it, so I want to especially congratulate you not for the number of sets eventually completed but the sheer fact that you’re holding yourself to standards set before the trip began. You’ve not moved the goalposts one bit.
One practical tip which I recommend for your next trip to Japan is not to set an exact goal but instead say that “each day I will complete 20-30 sets”, for example. It’s the same as dieting and saying that you’ll eat 2000-2200 calories in a day. You end up with a final range rather than exact figure, which is more accommodating to your vibe. Hit 10 and do a technique check-up, continue to 20 and do another check-up then ask yourself whether doing another 10 is worth it.
>> the sheer fact that you’re holding yourself to standards set before the trip began. You’ve not moved the goalposts one bit.
Thanks man. That’s a conscious effort. When I told Sundance that I needed to confess he said, “You don’t owe anybody anything.” And I appreciate his support, but I do… I owe this community a lot. Particularly when I make a commitment. And I don’t want to try to justify any of that.
It’s not a big deal. I’m very ready to move on, but I want us to believe in high standards as men, so I’m happy to hold myself to principles of basic integrity. My word means something. I don’t need 1000 lashings for breaking my promise… but I can face my Tribe and admit where I fell down.
Integrity doesn’t mean never failing… but it means facing it when you do.
>> You end up with a final range rather than exact figure, which is more accommodating to your vibe. Hit 10 and do a technique check-up, continue to 20 and do another check-up then ask yourself whether doing another 10 is worth it.
I usually say “min 10”. Operate off a floor, rather than a ceiling. And then… exceed expectations. That’s my daily ritual.
Yesterday, wanted to get “warm” after several days off. Did 5 or 6 and was ready to wrap it up (my “power” was terrible yesterday). But then The Cigar and I were walking back and we ran into YoungGuns. And while they chatted I popped off two more… cute girls… both blew me out. ha.
In Japan… I’ll be more about leads and fun. I want about 10 leads per week until my “Tornado” is full. And I want to have fun. And girls are interesting… and hot. So… that’ll guide my approach targets.
>> the quality of girls was surprisingly similar to the girls in my little foggy town in California…
Really? I imagined NYC, especially around 5th Av, to have superior quality to most other places in the world.
I guess it’s everywhere the same average quality, just that in a huge city like NYC, the volume of approachable girls is much much higher.
By the way, do you approach all the girls you like? Or do you only approach girls who give up signals they are open to being approached?
>> Really? I imagined NYC, especially around 5th Av, to have superior quality to most other places in the world.
Chulo… you’re right, actually.
For MOST GUYS… NYC could be much better. The thing for me is… I like Asian girls. And my town has a lot. And NYC has a lot. So no real reason for me to go there (I wasn’t there to game, not primarily). I will be in Tokyo in Jan/Feb… and that is for girls.
And I pick up two types, mainly: 1. Super wealthy girls that roll around shopping wearing Gucci slippers, etc. Young, spending someone else’s money, but that’s a type I think is very hot. And 2. Those same girls (basically), but while they are in art school.
And I pickup in a “fancy shopping area” — which is just like 5th Ave. Same stores. So the experience was almost exactly the same for me in NYC… no real difference (other than more Japanese, instead of Chinese).
So for a man like me… the quality/type were almost identical. I opened one girl by Parson’s (art school) and I could have done just “art school” girls all week. Strong match for me.
For guys that like “hot European white girls” (or even hot Latin girls from S.America or Spain), again, NYC would be MUCH better than my city.
Most guys in game hate my city… but most well known players don’t have a thing for “nerdy Asian girls” or power-shoppers from Shanghai… and I do. So my town is great for me.
>> in a huge city like NYC, the volume of approachable girls is much much higher.
You’re totally right. That’s why I figured I could do 30/day. And I could… I just didn’t quite get it done. (And it wasn’t the best idea!)
>> By the way, do you approach all the girls you like? Or do you only approach girls who give up signals they are open to being approached?
That’s a good question… I PREFER no “IOI.” I think when I surprise them with the approach, I do better. I’m convinced, MOST TIMES, when she/I make eye contact first, that makes her self-conscious, and she’s more likely to be on “defense” as I open. A lot of that is only social awkwardness on the girls part, but I think that is true.
So I open girls I like… occasionally when I get a signal, but rarely.
HOWEVER… when I’m with a wing… that’s when AIs matter to me. I talked about it in this post. The IOIs I get when I’m with a wing seem more solid then when I’m solo. I think they represent different feelings in the girl. That’s my theory.
But in general… no… I think the SURPRISE is part of the appeal. It’s part of what makes it special for the girls.
High-End Girls: You know, you’ve shattered some limiting beliefs for me.
When I started my daygame journey, one of the first products I’ve watched was Paul Janka’s Beyond the Digits (I think that’s the name, it was his video products).
And in it he has a section on how he would approach a high end girl but he said they are the hardest on the street and most likely to ignore you, he made it seem almost impossible to open them. So I avoided doing it although they are my favorite, it’s great that you’re doing it, I assumed you need to be as rich as their sugar daddy to get those (actually, thinking about it now, Janka said to open them by pointing at their Gucci bag when you open them, so they’d be like “wtf?” and tell them “where is the Gucci store, I’m going there myself.” which probably was the thing that kindled the Yad Stop. I can see that clearly, hehe.
Logistics: And it’s true that logistics are an essential part of game and one that is very overlooked by most guys. So could you do a next post soon all about logistics? You can brainstorm your best ideas then the comments here will come up with their best ideas, and that “Idea Storm” will really create a positive discussion that will be very valuable for us all handling our logistics.
Todd: Btw, Todd from RSD came back and he’s giving away his first product free. He said because of RSD’s guys having a game that is too different from his he couldn’t reveal his true game until now. He has in it 4 infields, 2 of him, and 2 of his friend JD who said is known to be the “Daygame God”. Could you please check out those infields and really see whether this JD and todd are using something truly unique or whether they are copying the LDM and just dumbing it down to make it easier to learn? The site is: toddtruth.com
Someone as knowledgeable as you about different styles of game will help guys see the truth because Todd is coming at this like nobody is teaching real game, and he is now finally revealing it to the masses. So seeing his infield and finding out whether he’s running standard game just calling it “real game” or whether him and this JD guy are doing something exceptional is very worthwhile to the community.
Thanks again, and have a great weekend of daygame.
May a squadron of beautiful [Asian] vaginas find their way to your crotch by day’s end!
“Btw, Todd from RSD came back and he’s giving away his first product free.”
THANKS for tell me about this
quick post, not saying much except that i am watching todd’s first infield.
i would love to transcribe some of the stuff he says, it’s very good.
Hey Nash, I hope you’re doing well.
Do you consider it an approach when a girl ignores you and only count those where the girl talks to you? Or any time you walked to start a conversation with a girl, no matter the outcome, that is an approach?
Madison is decent. Talks ramps at minute 6:40, calls it ‘hot and cold’