I “pulled” last night. It’s +0 for Nash, because I did not fuck that sweet girl. I would say it was a close call, except it wasn’t. Or maybe it was?? I don’t know. It was a weird night. Opinions and comments on this one are welcome (as always).
Yesterday was my third day on the street running daygame in New York City. I had been feeling pretty solid. I had a good day on Tuesday, took five leads from 27 approaches. I had discovered the potential of 5th Avenue. I had a date with a Japanese teenager. And I assumed Wednesday would show a continuation of that momentum.
But Wednesday was nearly as rough as Monday. It was hot and sweaty on the street in the early afternoon (walking south on 5th), starring into the mouth of the afternoon sun. I did two approaches in an hour and then went downtown to meet Runner by NYU. I got social-stiff again as I interrupted my flow with the train ride to the new spot. It was an awkward start.
Runner and I connected. It was almost 4 PM and I’d only done four sets of my 30-approach goal for the day. But Runner and I can get a good vibe rolling and the day started to turn around. It’s been good to share the street with him on this trip.
I did a half dozen more approaches. Some blowouts, a few smiles, nothing really stuck. I opened a cute girl that seemed to flash me an IOI. A high school girl, as it turns out. She was 16 and I excused myself when I figured out how old she wasn’t. I gave her a sticker and went back to business.
It has been true with Runner (and also true with Sundance back at home) that I get a lot more IOIs when I’m out with a wing. Runner thinks it’s a form of social proof. I think the conversation makes us less needy, less self-conscious, and that’s attractive. A good wing will generally put me in a better state. We’ve been checked out a lot this last week.
Runner showed me some of his favorite daygame routes. He likes that area around SOHO, NYU and Cooper’s Square. He lives nearby. And I agree, that is good daygame territory. If that was San Francisco, I’d be stoked. (I have since seen that area on a weekend morning, and it was really good). But this is NYC and I’d seen 5th Avenue and the energy there. No comparison in my mind.
I love high-density locales for their volume.
I told him that he could probably cut a year off his learning curve if he’d head to midtown to find more foot traffic. Especially as he likes a very fine, high-end type of girl (which can be hard to find). He likes girls like Krauser’s “greyhounds.” There are
lots some of those girls on 5th. And volume really matters. Because of the volume, I learned more in Tokyo in a few weeks than I could in months at home in California (my favorite street in Tokyo is very much like 5th Avenue, maybe even more so).
He agreed and we jumped a train back uptown.
It was instantly better for me. More girls, better vibe, and the weather had cooled off a bit. It was already 5:30, and I was only at nine approaches into my goal. I had to get to work, and I did.
First set stuck and my vibe improved. I wasn’t nearly as good as Tuesday, but I started ripping through sets looking for good connections, “yes girls,” and magic moments. Runner was more motivated as well, and talked to a bunch of leggy girls.
It is amazing how a day can turn around. That might be the heart of this post.
5th Ave gets noisy during the commute (around 5 PM sharp)… very noisy. Unbelievably noisy. I took a WeChat contact from a cute Chinese girl, but almost gave up as two separate ambulances came by, stuck in that peak traffic, wailing endlessly while I tried to be charming. She and I both plugged our ears and smiled. She stuck with me through the noise. That girl had great hips. I liked her, too. Sweet, a bit conservative, and feminine. Unfortunately, she was moving to NC the next day which made it a bit rough to get her out (I tried).
Runner left me around 7 PM and I ground out my final sets. I got all 30 approaches done, but it felt like work at the end.
And for the record… 30 approaches per day, for five days straight… is too much. I committed to it, but I don’t recommend it. I have a very short window to try to get laid or I’d never push myself this hard. The pressure doesn’t help your vibe. Lesson learned.
It was after 8 PM (6 hours after I set out that day) but I hit my goal. 30 girls. It shouldn’t take that long, but it wasn’t a good day and I had a few stops/starts.
I was exhausted. I went back to my hotel, showered off the sweat and the street-dirt, and went for some ramen and a tall Asahi beer near Times Square. I planned on reading my Milton Friedman book, but I spent all dinner texting girls and checking in with my wings.
As I walked outside after dinner, for some reason I felt remarkably buzzed from that beer. I had my book under my arm and an odd smile on my face. I was in NYC for first time in 10 years, and it was only 11 PM, too early to go home. I decided to have a drink, explore some more bars. As I was checking out my options on my phone, a cute young girl wandered by. A slow walk, in no hurry, unescorted… I opened. Gutter game. It wasn’t my plan, but it felt natural.
I had done a few sets of gutter game in Tokyo and it felt sketchy and unwholesome at the time, but now it felt perfect. My first gutter-girl of the night didn’t stop, but she gave me sly, encouraging smile and I decided to game some more. With dinner and beer in me, I was suddenly in a great mood.
The third girl of the night was an insta-date. My 33rd approach for the day.
It was 11 PM in Times Square on a Wednesday night. She was out by herself, clearly in no hurry. Asian, nice hair, great hips and kissable lips. She opened easy and I began to chat her up. How surprising that a single girl was comfortable getting picked up dead-sober, late at night, on the dirty streets of New York.
This girl was Korean, but she spoke her English with an odd accent. She has lived in Germany for over 10 years, studying music. She is a classically trained piano player and we vibed about music and art. When I asked if she was travelling alone she said no, that she was in NYC with a choir… a Christian choir. Hmmm. But she said she was by herself for the night, as the choir was in a nearby city at a different hotel. Green light.
I asked what she was doing “right now” and she said nothing. She doesn’t drink (this is yet another girl that I’ve picked up that doesn’t drink), so I offered to take her to tea and she agreed. All the signals were green lights.
We wandered around Time Square together. Given the time of day and her backstory, I was still amazed she was so comfortable. She was a bit reserved and kept her arms across her chest almost all night. She is conservative, shy, but was obviously at ease with me. Very feminine and compliant.
The first Starbucks was closed. The next one was open, but had no seating area. Logistics were a little off but the vibe was still solid. I was going to take her to a bar I’d checked out briefly after dinner (for some “drinks with no alcohol”), but I changed my mind at the door and asked if she wanted to check out the rooftop bar I was at the night before (where I wrote part of my last post). Much better atmosphere there… and a short walk from my hotel.
And just like that I was in a cab to a nice lounge, around midnight, with a new girl, in the Big Apple. As we arrived the bouncer carded us, as she looks young. The roof deck was packed, so we sat in quiet corner, sipping virgin mojitos and talking.
I was learning more about her: This girl is a missionary. Her choir is here as part of an effort to spread the faith. She’s deeply religious. Her dad is a Pastor in Korea, but she has her own reasons for her faith. We’re talking seriously religious here.
I have read about Tom Torero’s “pressure cooker” concept:
“I’ve said many times that if you try to repress human sexuality, it surfaces in even more wild and wonderful ways. I call this the Pressure Cooker Effect – telling someone that sex is shameful, wrong and not allowed, leading to them diving head first into the Secret Society once they’ve got the opportunity to escape the societal / religious restraints on them.”
Sure. Whatever. But in my experience, we are back to “girls are girls,” even in this scenario. In my world to date… conservative girls are conservative. The error is in assuming they are all “good girls” (that don’t like sex) or that the outside is always a match for the psychology of her inner world. Sexuality is always at the individual level (“within-group differences are always greater than between-group differences”). Conservative girls still have sex, but they are certainly not “more” eager than average. That’s just mythology and wishful thinking on Tom’s part… him being a salesman.
I asked about this girl, and she is not a virgin. I was almost surprised, she seemed the type that might be. She tried to wait until marriage, she said, she wanted to, but… and her eyes gave away a universal sign of having some knowledge of the flesh. She said he was her boyfriend, and she really loved him, that was why she had sex with him. I know the “I only have sex in relationships” line is very often bullshit, but this girl was congruent with her story.
And yet… in terms of “watch what she does, not what she says,” all green lights. All of Yohami’s coaching from last year was in my head:
“She knows what’s up. She went there for it. She was for the sex the whole time.”
— Yohami, talking about a different girl
I don’t argue with Yohami about that stuff anymore. He is right. I’ve seen it, many times this year. They are not all “sluts.” And they are complicated and inconsistent. They hook and disappear for no reason. But yeah, the sex is often right there, on the table, if you can lead and escalate with some level of skill.
We sat close, side by side. I touched her a lot, in a comfortable way, midway between social and sexual. It wasn’t long before I was ready to test the vibe…
So I had my “c’mere” moment and tried to kiss her. She turned away.
She had the usual level of alarm as she felt the pressure of a seducer, but she smiled. I tried again a few minutes later and she was more serious in her objections, trying to explain… I cut her off. Just like I did with the Wine Girl, who did the same kind of trying to explain to me what was going on between us. I know perfectly well what is going on in moments like this one.
I’m at a stage of this journey where it’s natural for me to cut off a girl when she wants to talk in a moment like this. There is nothing to explain. I’m supposed to try to kiss her. More than that, I wanted to. I did. I wanted this girl. She can kiss me back, or not. Either is fine. But we don’t need to explain it. It a timeless moment between a man and a girl. I know girls know this, girls have much more experience than most of us do. I had the same moment the night before with the teenager (who also wouldn’t kiss me). I’m quite sure I’ll see it again (in fact, I did the next night as well, with yet a 3rd girl, but that’s a different story).
It was one o clock in the morning and the Preacher’s Daughter and I seemed like we could talk all night. I was having a good time. She is an interesting girl and I was enjoying her company. What an unusual night. I was in a super nice, comfortable spot, next to a soft woman, after a rough day on the streets.
But it was getting late. She wasn’t going to get sexual and I believed her. I wanted to get some sleep and be ready to “hustle” (that’s for you, Sundance) the next day. She was in no hurry, but I got her on her feet and we took the elevator down to the street.
She said she might walk home, but I convinced her to take a cab. As I was getting her to a corner and pointed in the right direct, we could see my hotel (all of this was good logistics on my part, just not the most ripe girl in terms of sexual potential).
As an experiment I said, “That’s my hotel… do you want to come over for a bit? You can’t stay long.” And she agreed. She seemed happy about it. I couldn’t believe she was coming back to my room… it was yet another green light. Hmmmm. Maybe I was wrong about her commitment to be “good” that night?
Upstairs to my room. I left her alone while I used the bathroom. She did the same and when she came back she took a seat next to me on the bed. Big doe eyes. I was touching her. I went for one more kiss which she also rejected. This was mixed with talk of Secret Society. Talk about sex, experimenting, and the anonymity of a big city. I did what Krauser would call a proper “bird song,” and it was working. She was entranced. She was very into me, but it wasn’t going anywhere. Her hindbrain was solidly locked in its chastity belt.
I have had some experience pushing things “too far.” And I am willing to explore the “edges” and to “flip the car,” but it can often lead to a bad experience for everyone involved.
Here is an example from a different girl… some texting with a married women from the week before I left for NYC. She had dodged me in a few different ways, but I was still gunning for it. She had introduced a moment or two that had given me some hope earlier in the thread, but here is how it ended.
MARRIED KOREAN WOMAN: I think it’s enough. I hope you do not contact me anymore. We just met for a few minutes and you like fantasy. It’s not me. Or .. I feel unpleasant if you are fun of me.
She had thrown up a lot of road blocks, but had consistently returned each of my messages. Maybe the constant replies were a cultural thing, or just politeness. In this case I kept going as she kept going. I was hoping we’d break through to some other level of relating. I went direct again.
NASH: I know you’re a good woman and I’m not making fun of you.
NASH: I like you.
MARRIED KOREAN WOMAN: I thought I met a good friend in the US, but I don’t think this is it. I hope to forget quickly because we have nothing to meet each other. I’ll block messenger. Sorry Nash and bye.
That “friend” comment is bullshit on her part. I was clearly sexual with her every step of the way. I’m not saying any of this is “good game,” but this is another example that I’m willing to push it. “Burn it down,” as Sundance might say.
But in any case, I don’t think the Married Woman’s response here was just drama or testing. I think I gave this woman a bad experience. I’m not above experimenting. This was just messaging and I assume girls are more robust than society might lead us to believe. But giving her a bad experience is not my goal. Not at all. Sometimes “no” really does mean “no.”
Despite all the green lights, I was mostly convinced my Preacher’s Daughter girl was giving me a real “no” as well. I liked her. And while I need to explore the edge here and there, good seduction is about “good experiences.” And I wanted my Preacher’s Daughter and I to finish the night in a positive way. I wanted to lead us both in that direction. That’s good masculinity.
So I told her I needed to sleep. I said I’d had a great night with her, which was true… but also gave her a quick lecture to never come to man’s hotel room late at night unless she is planning on having sex. She agreed easily. Knowingly. Comfortably. She said she felt very safe with me and she radiated warmth and trust as she said it.
Just before we left my room I “broke the forth wall” and asked one last time if she wanted to have “an experience.” I gave her one last wolfish moment, literally at the threshold of the hallway back out into the hotel. She gave me a sweet smile and declined again. As we got to the elevator and I pulled her in, told her she had “escaped from a dangerous man without getting fucked.” She smiled. It was fun to talk to that “good girl” like that. I asked if she was disappointed and she shook her head to show she wasn’t. It was 2:30 in the morning.
We rode down the elevator together from the 15th floor. I was happy. I would have loved to have eaten this girls pussy. To have bent her over and fucked her full hips from behind while she praised God. I really tried, but it didn’t happen. And it was still a very good night. Another good experience. Another remarkable experience. For both of us.
(And I’ll point back to my post about Sundance’s lay and say experiences like this are how “good girls” get a serious education from men like us. Do you think the boys in her choir are running game on her like this? Some, maybe. But most the guys that like her would never get this far. And even more would never guess you could push this hard and she’d end up loving it.)
As I stuffed her in a cab out front, I said: “Okay, get home safe. If you need anything give me a call…” And then we both realized we’d never exchanged contact information. I don’t know her name.
And there was a brief pause as the unusualness of it all lingered between us. The African cab driver sat there patiently as we looked at each other. And then I broke the spell and said, “Bye!” with a big smile and she smiled too. No clumsy attempt to try to stay in touch. I closed the door to the cab and walked back across the shiny floors of the hotel lobby shaking my head in awe and amusement.
Another train, leaving the station. I am the train station. They come. They go. This is the game.
And she was gone.
It had been a long day that ended with a good girl plucked off the street by a bad man… into the lion’s mouth and, somehow, safely back out again. Amazing.
Who you pick up, and how, and what happens then… says a lot about you. I’m learning more about myself and girls on this trip. It’s about “different bait to catch a different fish,” but it’s also about the nature of a particular fisherman. More to write about in another post.
Viva daygame. Viva guttergame.