Perfected Himself Through Loneliness
Read this today:
Classical literature was full of heroes—the vast majority of them were men—who were heroic because they were alone. The quest narrative was one in which a man whittled away from himself all societal bonds and then, having perfected himself through loneliness, returned triumphant to society. Society was still there waiting for him because it had been tended by women, who were never alone.
I like this, as it pertains to where I am in daygame… which is Newbie Hell.
When I started daygaming, I usually went with my wing. When I went to Japan, I had to learn to run game on my own, and I loved it. But there I was, out on the streets, alone. I run almost all my sets alone now.
And then the sets start to kick your ass. It’s not like I don’t enjoy them, I do, yesterday was fucking cool (unproductive, but great), talking to girls is cool. But the sets can be rough. And then numbers that lead to silence, that’s even rougher. All that work for a number that is nothing more than dead-air. Worse than dead-air… dead-air with expectations.
Going back to the quote, I’m getting “whittled” down. The discipline is cleaning me up, in that I show up, and deliver, over and over, even when I’m not getting “paid.” Set after set, pounding me into something better, something more useful, to myself and women. I have me. And I know I’m solid. When that is very fucking clear in my eyes… my sets will get better. This is how it goes.
Please, Baby Jesus, let this transformation happen soon!
This is all classic mythology… you hear the call (maybe in your balls), but you don’t want to go. It sounds hard — and it will be. That’s most guys, they ignore the call, play video games and jerk off instead. But some men begin the quest. And they leave comfort to find something bigger, to become bigger men, better men. Helpers appear, but it’s mostly him. Alone, set after set. Leaving behind “societal bonds,” alone on the street, working his craft. No one holds your hand on the sidewalk.
Newbie Hell, is that space somewhere after you’ve accepted the quest, but before you’ve found the grail. That’s where I am. 100+ sets into this particular quest. (I’m not going to bother counting them until I get laid… damn, it’s gonna be a lot of sets!).
I’m trying to make some sense out of where I am right now… and this frame is helping.
Here are the sets.
1. Out on Memorial Day. I don’t like weekends… far fewer single girls, in my experience. This was a holiday Monday, so it was like a weekend. I did 1 set in a bit over an hour. She was a slightly better than average looking Asian girl. Blew me out. Fine.
Spotted a guy out running sets, and watched him for a bit. After he was done, I introduced myself… nice guy. I almost never see anyone else out. I think most guys run weekend game, and I don’t see them, as I’m out during the week.
Next day was a Tuesday… I was excited, and sets where everywhere.
2. Little Asian girl, was confused as to what was going on, but stood there. I eventually told her I was hitting on her, to make it explicit. Huge smile, but she was mostly just confused by the whole thing. Some girls do feel naïve to me. I let her go.
3. Beautiful, fancy Asian girl. She was in the middle of about 10 people, moving down the sidewalk in one big worker-bee blob of strangers. I threaded my way in there, almost just for practice in forcing my way into a group like that. Had to side stop, as I couldn’t get in front of her. She was precious… so beautiful. Wow. Great smile, but couldn’t stop her. Beautiful.
4. 30 secs after #3, I met an Iraqi programmer girl. Ha… daygame, so random! Stopped her, nice chat. Wasn’t really that into her, but tried to close, asked her if she wanted a drink w/ me sometime. “No thank you,” she said. Fine and fine.
5. Tiny, sunglasses… those are the notes I took down. I’m guessing she’s Asian, but I can’t remember this one. Damn, I love Asian girls.
6. Beautiful Asian girl, blue coat, great smile. She barely stopped, but her smile bloomed across her face as I opened her. She was going to dinner. Tried to get her to talk, but it didn’t really happen. She was my favorite of the day. I want to date that girl.
7. Sets were coming super fast at this point… and now a little Asian girl, with big headphones, arms crossed, great legs and a skirt. Big smile, but said she had a BF right away.
8. Lovely little white girl, with a proud pony tail and great confident walk. Turned out to be Russian — she didn’t tell me that, but it was the accent, and even more so, that calm, strong vibe Russian girls have. She didn’t understand what was going on, and wasn’t completely stopped. Then she got it, and “I’m not interested,” and calmly walked away. Wow… really beautiful one. She was right… I’m not ready for her. Not yet.
9. This girl… wow! I opened her, in part, just because she was so hot, so put together, I was challenging myself. She was tiny, brown skin, beautiful. I’m guessing Latin? Stopped well… and I had nothing to say. I think that was just me freaking out that she was so hot. I remember thinking she didn’t like what was going on when I was in set… but as I think back, I think she was a “maybe” the whole time and I just panicked, ejected too early. Not quite ready for her either.
I got a text and realized I was late for a call. Shit. Took the call, but it lasted an hour… prime daygame time, wasted. I was cold when the call was done.
10. Beautiful Asian girl in the mall. I didn’t open well and she didn’t understand me. When she did, said she wasn’t interested. I don’t blame her, weak set. She thanked me, I split.
Fuck… if I hadn’t done that call, I bet it would have been a 15+ set day… and I was really warming up. Oh, well… more tomorrow.
Viva daygame.
You sound like a smart guy so maybe it’s not too late for you
https://rivsdiary.wordpress.com/2016/04/09/put-energy-in-rising-up-not-in-begging/
https://rivsdiary.wordpress.com/2016/05/11/yes-im-always-right/
TLDR, if you speak to 10 girls and no one of them wants you, you are doing it all wrong and hitting on more girls wont improve your situation. The only value in what you’re doing is you’re developing some social skills and losing the fear of talking to strangers, but at the same time you’re reinforcing the frame where you’re the chaser and not the prize. There are better ways to adquire social skills while at the same time becoming the prize and the chasers.
Stop this madness. Get laid.
I read them both, thank you, Yohami. I appreciate you commenting here. I’ve been reading you on Riv’s blogs, I trust you.
>> If you want to be with women and you understand that women want men who are above them, WHY would you choose to be below them?
Exactly true. I would argue a good daygame approach is not “the bottom” and can be a very good indication of “better than her,” but I know what you’re saying.
>> When you approach a woman and you say “hey, hello” everything in your body posture and your tone and facial expression already says who you are in life.
^ True. A good approach can show high value, if you are high value.
>> Just find a niche in life where you’re in command of your life and not a doormat and you’re comfortable and in power and have an audience.
I know this is right. It is one way. My two favorite lovers were girls that got into me by seeing me at work… I was a top dog, aggressive and successful, at work. I had no game then. I work for myself now, much more profitable, but no more “audience.”
I have been thinking about your comment here all week. Thanks again.
>> Your job is to be right all the time. To be a rock. Solid.
Yes.
>> Your job is to be the light among the caos and a structuring force. You are the pillar. First the pillar of your life, and later the pillar of the people around you.
This is the man I want to be. I am this man, in some areas of my life.
>> TLDR, if you speak to 10 girls and no one of them wants you, you are doing it all wrong and hitting on more girls wont improve your situation.
>> the reason doing 1000 daygame approaches is fucked up is there’s no way a man is in charge of anything and has time to spend chasing women who don’t want to fuck him.
I have been thinking this is like that saying about “We only lend money to people that don’t need it.” I know I have value/success with women, but now I’m thirsty, and it shows, and women can see it.
I think ^ this is where I am at. And at some point, I “broker” a change… find a girl that sees real value, I sex her, I look less thirsty, and the world opens up.
I don’t think the “secret” is one lay in 1000 approaches. I think eventually, your success is proof that *you* believe, and then you project that belief, and the girls pounce on you. I think I was getting to this stage when before I took a break last Spring.
*while at the same time becoming the prize and the [ chased ] one.
Or, be a man women want. Dont be a man women dont want. If women dont want you doing a numbers game only sinks your value more. Rise up.