I have been reading Steve Jabba‘s Primal Seduction. I’m not sure he’s the best teacher, but I like Steve, I bet he is very good w/ women, and I like his take on game. A year+ ago I saw his video product Secret Society, which was also very raw, but good stuff.
One of Steve’s central points is the IOI (indicator of interest). He’s all about it. He thinks IOIs are everywhere, and that men just don’t notice them (that might be true). He advocates forcing IOIs, in nightclubs, but also on the street. I was in Japan when I first saw his videos, and I tried warming up to the idea for my Tokyo daygame sessions. As I’m coming back to life and working on my game, his book has me trying to take the IOI opportunity seriously.
I think one of the first posts I ever did for this blog as about eye contact in daygame, and how I mostly don’t like it. What I mean is, when I make eye contact, I think the set is likely to go worse than when I don’t. In the rest of game (in clubs and bars, or eating, maybe on the train, etc.), I am into eye contact and IOIs of that sort, they often get me to approach, but for street hunting, my experience was that making eye contact would get her defenses warmed up, whereas if she doesn’t see me until I open, I would fair better. This could have just been my experience as a newbie — theorizing to cover my bad game — but I still believe in that theory somewhat.
Anyway, I’m trying to test it.
So this week, I’m out on the street, and had just walked away from not-so-successful approach on #2 (see below). I was thinking of what I could have said better in that set, and I had a big smile on my face, and was happy and lit up to be out hitting on girls. I do love it and it was on my face at that moment. As I rounded the corner, I made eye contact with a quite attractive girl.
Ouuuu, an IOI. “This one’s for Steve,” I thought.
She was a white girl, beautiful hazel eyes, rather tall, maybe 5’9″. As I followed her a bit to catch up to her, I was thinking she was a little conservative, maybe. I was guessing about 28 years old. Great ass.
I was expecting a warm open, based on the IOI, but as I said “you caught my eye,” her face deflated. Here I was expecting some sexual common-ground, and she looked like I just asked to borrow money or something. It wasn’t going well.
I could see this pickup was not fun for her. I finished my opening lines, saw that look on her face, and said, “Ummm, okay, you just made a face… are you okay?” and dialed my energy back. She looked at me, heavily, took a breath, and said, “I get hit on in the street often.” “Umm, okay,” I said. The mood was like a serious therapy session all of a sudden. I asked her what that was like for her. She said it’s tiring. She said she liked my energy, that I wasn’t aggressive, and that she had a “partner.” I said okay, wished her a nice day, and ejected, dejected, creeping up the street away from her.
Fuck, that was a heavy set. Her, after the two previous sets that didn’t hook, knocked my state down. I’m fine w/ rejection and blowouts, it’s part of the game, but the look in her eyes, after I thought I was walking into a warm set, was rough. It felt like a bait and switch, and I wasn’t ready for it.
My state was a bit rattled after that one — which was really no fault of my own, I don’t think. There were sets everywhere just after her, but I was psychologically limping a bit, and could only watch them go by.
I headed deeper into the downtown mix, soaking up all that familiar territory, trying to get my vibe back on. I helped out a few tourists to help increase my state — works great for me, highly recommend it. I was shaking off that heavy set, and soon, opened a cute girl that warmed me back up again (#5 below). She was adorable… even now she’s fun to think about, she was great.
Anyway… I’ve talked about my faux-IOI girl w/ a few friends. This is what I think actually happened:
I was glowing from set #2, even though it didn’t go well. And my glow caught her eye, that’s what the eye contact was about. I was on fire, she noticed, but it wasn’t attraction.
Or… maybe she makes eye contact with folks and doesn’t know it. That would explain why she gets hit on all the time. I am a bit surprised that she said that. She’s very attractive, but in plain pants, not the classically sexy dressed girl. And she’s likely too tall for a lot of men to approach, I would guess. This is all speculation. But if she happens to be the type of girl that makes a lot of eye contact for no particular reason, I might not be the only guy that gets faux-IOIs and then approaches.
Okay… there’s another reference experience. I’m toughening up. Still learning the thousands of combinations out there, between me, my vibe, my approaches, and the various girls out there on the street.
Here are the rest of the sets:
1. Cute girl, Chinese, big lips. I opened, she drifted, big smile. I asked her to stay and talk a bit, she said no, still smiling like it was her birthday. Okay, cool.
2. Very good looking Asian girl, with beautiful face and freckles. She wasn’t into me, said she was busy, I said okay. I never mentioned the freckles. I wonder what would have happened if I’d dropped that bit after she said she had to go. I never do the “before you go” thing, I just don’t like it. But adding more detail at that moment, who knows.
3. This is the girl that faux-IOI’d me in the story above.
4. White girl, small, great shape to her. I opened, she was delicious. She said she had to go. I didn’t push that set enough, I think there was more there, but I left it on the table. My vibe, however, was very slow, sexual. I liked it. This is more and more common for me. I’m learning.
5. I was eyeing another Asian girl, when a bouncy white girl rolled by. I opened, and she turned, very close to me. She was lovely. I deliver my opener, and she laughs… small pause, and then she says, “I’m 18.” I calmly said, “What does that mean to you?,” blowing off the fact that I’m more than 2X her age. She looked me up and down and changed the topic. We chatted a bit more, and she said she had to go and I let it be. I also think there was more in this set… I’m not playing as hard as I should be. But, I like that I was fine w/ her comment about being 18 — I definitely didn’t panic, nice and calm. I liked her. I think that youngest girl I’ve opened in daygame. I didn’t know she was that young (she looked young/mid 20s). I would. Hmmm.
6. Small, dark hair, dark skin. Opened, she took it okay. She is here, visiting, from Brazil. She was on/off several times as we chatted. She is travelling alone. Perfect adventure sex potential. I asked for her number, she said she would take mine. We went back and forth, and I gave her my card — I know that sucks, but the debate about me taking her number wasn’t going anywhere. She made a point of saying she’d connect via WhatsApp. Ummm, doubt it. That was my second card in 2 weeks… less than 1 in 20 chance, I think, that those girls will contact me. Oh well. Damn close to an ideal opportunity for adventure sex. We’ll see.