SH: Daygame in Shanghai | First Days on the Street

Shanghai, China is the most 2nd most* populous city in the world… And I am here on a daygame trip. I’ll do more while I am here than hunt the sidewalks… but running game and scoring time with lovely Chinese girls is a big part of why I made this commitment.

(* Credit Pancake for the correction)

I have travelled a bit, picking off places I wanted to visit like Canada (for skateboarding), Costa Rica (to surf), several trips to Europe (with friends and on my own). And of course there are all those daygame trips to Japan that make up so many of the stories of this blog.

As I have contemplated where to “point my ship” (and have listened to the travel stories of others), there were also a few places I was sure I would never visit. Africa (no appeal to me). India (too hot, too wild). And then… China. Going back to my childhood, China always seemed too different, too Communist, too foreign for a white kid from The Valley. China was always a “hell no” for me.

But times have changed. I have grown up a bit. And living in my city has led me to a point in my life where I have a solid fetish for Chinese girls.

I thought I would never go to China… but here I am.

Part of why I am here is because one night in Japan earlier this year (as I was leaving a rooftop bar in Tokyo) I hooked up with this group of very drunk, older, high-end “Westerners.” They invited me to join them for “one last drink” at a secret bar (on the eastside of Omotesando). I agreed. The leader of the pack was a very interesting (and drunk) New Zealander in the wine business. As his fancy friends slurred their speech and fell asleep in their seats, he and I had a side conversation about his experiences in China.

The topic seemed to sober him up and his eyes took on a “thousand yard stare” as he feed me some details. When I asked where I should visit, he said Shanghai. He had a sense of awe about the place and it was contagious.

He said, “If you want to see the future of what cities will become… go to Shanghai.”

At the end of the conversation I told him I was convinced, and that I would check it out… that I was influenced by “how much he seemed to like it.” He corrected me right away. He stared back at me, unsmiling, and said, “I didn’t say I liked Shanghai. I said it was the future.”

A lot of why I am here is because of that conversation. Life is like that. A random moment from a daygame trip, led me to more random moments, and another daygame trip… in a place I was sure I would never go.

I like new experiences, but I don’t consider myself a typical “tourist” type. On my last trip to Tokyo, over the course of nine weeks I mostly stayed in a narrow range of the city I could explore on foot. I won’t do many touristy things on this trip either. I’ll stay in one place. Get to know the neighborhood. Lock down my logistics and work out some local knowledge.

I’ll stay in one place and I’ll hunt. And exploit those increasingly tight logistics as best as I am able.

I’ve been conscious of the concept of “game” for almost 14 years now. There is so much to learn. And the deeper I get, the more I know that everything hangs from a framework of logistics.

A good man knows his territory.

For this trip, I got an apartment in the Former French Concession (FFC), based (mostly) on a recommendation from Miss Shanghai. I pinged her on Facebook a few weeks ago, and she convinced me this was the spot.

The FFC is an area of the city with a lot of European influence. It’s a Western spot in an Eastern place. It’s 98% Chinese people… there is very little English here… but the architecture is familiar.

I met a woman tonight and when I said I came here to see China, she said, “Yes, but Shanghai is not China.” And I was quick to agree. I told her I think that in modern times, all very nice neighborhoods have a lot in common. The FFC has an incredible level of charm… but it does remind me of Fifth Avenue in NYC, as well as the main drag in my favorite part of Tokyo. The surroundings are different, but the boulevards (<– the daygame territory) are remarkably familiar.

A key focus of “logistics” is to have a place to live where a player can bring back the girls (“the seduction location,” as Mystery would say). Ideally, the place would be very close to where he might meet those girls… for easy access to hunting territory… but also such that the player could potentially walk the girl from the pickup right back to his house. If that area also happens to have a lot of great date spots, that is another big plus.

This ^ is how to pick a place to stay (or live for that matter) that will be ideal for daygame. And the FFC is such a perfect combination. Miss Shanghai was right. It would be hard to do better than this spot.

I started with an apartment… and it looked good on AirBnB. If you can sense some foreshadowing there, you’re a clever guy.

As I look back at my first couple of days, that apartment sucked. I tried to be a good sport at first. It’s my first time here, and I really didn’t know how flexible I should be about “quality” in China. Even as I tried to keep an open mind, the place had some challenges.

The location was really excellence… about a block and half from some first-rate daygame territory. A long string of big-name stores like H&M, Nike, etc. Down the road a bit was Gucci and more high-fashion. Between those marquee stores are bakeries, milk-tea shops, smaller boutiques and dozens of places selling red-lacquered duck and various forms of indescribable Chinese cuisine.

But the exterior of my apartment was pretty “third world” by my standards. It was run down. A squadron of ratty bicycles and beat-up scooters crowded the entrance to the building. The stairs were in ill repair and littered with cigarette butts. And… it was six flights of stairs to the gate that led to my front door. And behind that gate, was a shared residential space, with odds and ends of construction projects, the neighbor’s cleaning supplies, stacks of personal belongings. Disorder (I don’t like disorder). And while the apartment was several paces down an alley, it was still flooded with street traffic and very noisy.

Was this normal for China? The inside wasn’t what I would call nice, but it was recently renovated and comfortable enough. It wasn’t much worse than my first apartment in Japan. If it was me and a couple of guys… I wouldn’t have thought much of it. A place to crash while on adventure in a wild city.

But imagine a young girl, already unsure about following an older, foreign guy back to his house. Then… the dirty courtyard. Then… six flights of stairs. I was to discover later… there are no lights in that stair process… so you climb them in what was mostly darkness… some motion-triggered lights clicking on only after you’d passed them on your way up to the next landing.

That is all friction that would work against any attempts at seduction. Friction is bad logistics.

The last night I stayed there, as I went off to explore new restaurants… one of my neighbors was standing in that shared area behind our gate in his underwear. I didn’t make eye contact. I assumed this was just the way it is in China (maybe?)… but this apartment was increasingly below my standards.

The next morning when I tried to turn on the shower and I had no water… I’d had enough. I called AirBnB and asked what my options were. It was possible I would lose 50% of what I paid if I backed out of my booking. I had a solid three weeks left, so that was a sizeable chunk of change. The alternate was to ask the owner to let me cancel. So, I did. I blamed the water situation, but explained it was more than that (and mentioned “underwear guy”). She said this was a “traditional Chinese community.” Maybe she is right… but she let me out of the deal.

Three hours later I was in my second apartment in Shanghai.

I wasn’t planning on any of this when I woke up that morning, but soon I was packing up all my gear. I lugged my baggage back down the six flights to the street. I tried to stop two taxis, but when I showed them the address they waved me off.

In case it isn’t obvious… I don’t speak Chinese. I actually studied every day since I got home from Japan. I know a lot of words… but I still can’t communicate. Not even close.

I walked five blocks through the rain (dragging my stuff), doing my impression of a homeless person (which I was, for about 15 minutes), and arrived at… a new and improved traditional Chinese community.

My new apartment is a bit damp, it smells a bit “tropical” (it rains here, almost every day in the summer and it’s very humid, even now), but it is 1000% better than the last one. Clean surroundings. It’s a dense little spot and I’m packed in close next to my neighbors. But I like it. I can hear some kid practice violin each night. The bedroom is in the back, and with the aircon on… I can’t hear a thing. Much nicer in every way.

I have a home. And I have a home I can I bring girls and the place will help (rather than hurt) my game. Major upgrade.

Logistics, logistics, logistics.

A lot of things about this place make me nervous. I don’t know anyone in Shanghai. I’m not here with a wing. I don’t speak the language. There is almost nothing about daygame in Shanghai on the internet (there is now).

None of the Western apps work here (China has a firewall that blocks Google, which includes Google maps, and most of the modern internet services). They have their own apps… but they are in Chinese only. I knew all this before I came… so I have a VPN which allows me to fake that I am in the US/etc, so I can use Google… but most of the business aren’t on it. Or their names are Chinese. The locals don’t use Google, so there are no local reviews… but at least I can read the info Google supplies.

(Can you imagine trying to do this 20 years ago without a 4G cellphone connection and GPS???)

Let’s say your first shitty apartment is so loud, you want some ear plugs so you can sleep. Try finding something as random as earplugs in China. The drugstores are a little different here. If you are a capable man you can get this stuff done (and I did), it’s just hard. And it takes time.

Everything here is hard. Getting my SIM was hard. Figuring out how to buy a metro card was hard. Finding a new gym to keep my workouts going was hard.

When guys say “game in a foreign country is easy,” they aren’t telling you this part. And all of this makes you look like a perpetual “beginner.” And “beginners” aren’t sexy.

Think about that before you get envious of trips to “pussy paradise.” This is what a trip to pussy paradise looks like from my POV. I’m not complaining. Not one bit. I’m sharing the truth.

There is the thrill of victory. But there are also a thousand small defeats along the way.

But if one thing here is easy… or relatively easy… and I am damn proud to be able say this… talking to girls in China is easy for me.

Not because they like me more than at home (although, maybe they do). Talking to girls in China is easy for me… because talking to girls ANYWHERE is easy for me. It’s true. And I don’t think I have ever felt so certain of that fact as I am on this trip.

Nothing about this place makes me comfortable. But from my very first approach… running game has been the easiest part of my day. The “work” of rolling up on girls on the sidewalk has been a break (a joyful relief) from the work of settling into life here in Shanghai.

This may come as a surprise… but there are a lot of Asian girls in China. And this man likes Asian girls. And the daygame has been fun.

My first approach was on Day #3.

When I was trying to get my SIM sorted, I found an area that looked good. It wasn’t really in my neighborhood, but I wanted a couple of different hunting grounds, and I thought I’d have lunch there, and get after it… and I did.

First girl was… a blowout. Blowouts are normal for a daygamer. Even comforting (in a way), when everything else is not at all normal. She was on her bike, looking at her phone. I “ambushed” her (Sneaky Tom‘s term for when you approach a girl that isn’t moving). She looked put off… and scooted away from me. I smiled.

“First one is the worst one.” And the trip (in terms of girls) had officially started.

Second girl… was “fucking A” cute. She was dressed almost exactly like the girls I hit on in my city at home… because many of those girls I hit on back home are from nice parts of China too. She had just sat down, so I ambushed her as well. She stood up for me. She smiled. She blushed. She didn’t speak English well enough to really communicate… but it was daygame all the same. Sexual tension. It was hot and sparkly. A tingly-good set, even as we couldn’t get the words across. I let her go… but two sets into my game, I already had a taste of a good interaction.

I took two numbers that day in eight sets. The first girl wasn’t super into me. She gave me her WeChat, but didn’t add me (it’s a two step process… a little more involved than Facebook). But the second girl loved the set… she loved it. And she did add me. And she messaged me first, and right away, saying:

SOME CUTE GIRL: “I hope you enjoy your trip.”

That’s sweet, but do you get the undercurrent there? That is not really hello. That is goodbye. I message her the next day. No reply.

Goodbye, cute girl.

Anyway… I was daygaming in China. It was familiar. It was fun. And the girls were hooking and giving up their contact details.

Talking to girls is the same everywhere. And I was off to a good start.

You know the air quality in China sucks, right?

No joke.

Of course as daygamers… it hardly matters. We are inside, sipping filtered air all day right? Yeah, sure. Either that… or walking through the streets all afternoon, sucking in the polluted parts per million, step after step.

cough cough

Welcome to China. Welcome to pussy paradise.

Day #4 was the day I switched apartments. I already mentioned it was raining that day. All day. Not so much when I first woke up (when I had no water, and couldn’t shower). But mostly just when I was ready to move apartments (without a taxi). And then, for the rest of the day when I might have gamed a bit.

I took the day off.

On Day #5… I woke up in my new, totally cool apartment. It was a beautiful day for daygame in Shanghai. By the end of the day, the air-quality would officially hit “unhealthy” (not that it mattered, I was out anyway), but at first… great conditions.

My goal was 20 approaches.

I didn’t quite hit it ^… but it was a very solid day.

I took numbers on approaches #7 and #8. Girl #7 was a 20 year old student, on her way back from a lunch break, to work her retail job. She was cautious, but she played along. Very hot. Perfect hair that advertised her youth and fertility. She was a little cold on the surface (but that is very “China” in my experience). She added me to WeChat and ran back to work. Girl #8 that day was probably near 30. She loved the pickup. She was girly and cute and was almost thankful to be approached (that was part of her charm). She was lovely, playful, and it was fun set.

I have since chatted with both of them.

After that, I took a bus “downtown” (or “uptown,” I have no idea… I am making this all up as I go along) to this spot I had accidentally found when I overshot my neighborhood on a previous bus trip. I found an amazing, first class outdoor mall area that could not be better for daygame. I talked to several more girls (including a funky girl that turned out to be a single mom). Didn’t take any numbers. But it was good exploration… this is what nailing down your logistics looks like.

I now had three different spots to game. If I feel like I’m burning out a spot, or need a change of pace, I can easily hop around.

I headed back “uptown” (or is it downtown?). I did several more approaches… including a beautiful girl (with perfect English), here on a business trip. Took her number as she went off to meet friends.

On my way back to my apartment… a very hot, artsy looking young girl in all black. Her English wasn’t great, but she liked the approach. Took her number. She is… 19. And a student at… the music conservatory… which is half a block from my place. Having a music college 500 yards from my front door wasn’t exactly part of my plan, but sometimes you catch a break.

Really good logistics.

Today (Day #6) had a weird start (I’ll post about that later). I went off to my gym to workout and shake it off. Then I had a conference call with the intern on my side project. After that, on my way out to get some work done… I ran into a very lovely one as I headed off to Starbucks. An incidental approach.

She was… charming. Blushed several times. We had a great little chat. I gave her a sticker. She is 22. A master’s student at a different college here in the city. I took her number.

That ^ is a shot of my WeChat all blown up with new contacts.

I have had my ups and downs so far, but this ^ is evidence of some real potential for this trip.

Tonight, before dinner I went home (my laptop was out of juice) and I messaged all the girls from the last 24 hours.

And all of them replied. I had a message-storm of back and forth with my Shanghai leads, cycling through the chat windows and trying to keep up with where I left off with each girl.

I tried to hustle a date for tomorrow night… but I couldn’t work it out. I have a long date this weekend, so no game outside of her. But I have tentative plans “for next week” with four of the five leads. Experience tells me most of these leads will go quiet and disappear, but… I will also be adding new girls to the “funnel” all week. This is how the game is played.

Go Shanghai.

Miss Bangs is a girl I met in my city in the Spring. We had one date. I took her to the art museum. And then back to my house. Made out a bit and then took her to dinner (which was a great time). She was strangely quiet on the ride home in my truck after dinner… and after another solid makeout in my place (and my hand up her shirt into Nipple Country), she took off back to the hostel where she as staying.

Believe me I tried to get her to stay. She had more than recovered from the quiet post-dinner ride and left super happy… but I couldn’t quite understand the mix of joy and the urge to leave. I’d never seen anything exactly like that before. She left to continue her tour of the US the next day. And then back home to China… she lives in Tianjin, about 700 miles from Shanghai.

In the months that followed that date, I have also been surprised at how often she would contact me. I have dated enough tourists to know they are often “one and done.” Despite rumors to the contrary, girls aren’t as romantic as Disney might suggest.

But Miss Bangs would often initiate chats with me… usually once a week. No pretense, just “love letters” from across the sea. Really sweet messages.

MISS BANGS: good evening dear beast, send my miss to you :)

And with that ^ particular message, she also sent a pic she made. A “split screen” of her on the left and picture of a wolf on the right (the Wolf, of course, is supposed to be me). So damn charming. She and I have been trading “Beauty and the Beast” sentiments since she left. Her, the Lovely Girl… me, the Dangerous Beast. It’s been cute, but the “I am dangerous” frame has allowed me to maintain some sexual tension.

It was from within that frame that I told her I was coming to China… and also offered to bring her in to see me… as long as she was okay with “staying with a Dangerous Beast.”

Her response ^.

On Day #8 of this trip… I will have a “long game” lead delivered to me, for a three-day, two-night date. There is some risk in a plan like this… but I have some experience with long dates with brand new girls in scenarios very similar to this one. (Although, I’ve never had a girl delivered to me in foreign country before. Another daygame “first.”)

I am excited. I’d like to get my cock in this girl. And have her little body next to mine in my bed for a few nights.

And more than that, I’d also like the view of Shanghai that she can help me see as a native.

I have my territory fairly well locked down for this stage of the trip. But she can speak the language, she can explain things to me. We’ll go on some adventures that I might not otherwise take if I didn’t have a “two day girlfriend” to enjoy them with (and to help with translation).

You never know how something like this will go. But I am increasingly capable of leading women…

…so I am going to find out.

There is more to say, but that is enough for now.

I have been here a week. I am feeling settled in… at the level of knowing where I am, where to eat, where to get my laundry done… all that. My place is set up to be a perfect place to spend some quality time with lovely girls… and to get them naked… assuming that I can earn the favor of the gods that rule the pulse of street seduction.

All hail the Daygame Gods.

“We have a right to our labor, but not to the fruits of our labor.”
— Krishna

A man DOES have the right to his labor. That is another way of saying: If you want to go talk to girls… there is no one stopping you, but you.

And if you can put in the work to do this in a foreign country, you’ll have earned the right to that as well. This daygamer, a white beast from California, is increasingly excited about the potential of this “little Chinese village,” and the girls that line the sidewalks and side streets of the FFC.

I will do my part. I will hit the streets. I will hunt. I will meet the Daygame Gods on the sidewalk and show them all I have done to earn my place in the battlefield that is the SMP. Perhaps there will be no fruit from my labor. But I will do what daygamers do. I will have my logistics on point. I will work my craft.

And I will talk to girls.

The rest… is up to the Gods.

Viva daygame.