TYO: I’m not a PUA, I’m a BOA

I have a new point of terminology to share from my experience running daygame in Tokyo. I present the concept of… The “blowout artist.” Or BOA.

I had some big days of approaching on this trip. Several days of 30+ girls in an afternoon. There are so many girls, it’s easier than it sounds. But along with a lot of opportunity comes plenty of vulnerability and rejection.

On this particular day, it was early in the trip. I was getting over my second cold, didn’t really feel like being out, but wanted to start the Tornado and get my momentum going. My state was off, and I wasn’t warmed up… but I jumped into the day and started talking to girls.

I got a lot of blowouts that day. A lot.

Some of what I call “soft” blowouts, where she might smile but never even turns her head as she walks right past you. Or ones where she says, “No English, no English!” and continues her walk. Or you get a little wave-off, like you’re a fly buzzing around her latte. And then harsher ones where her jaw tightens a little, or a flash of annoyance passes across her eyes. Or an icy blowout, where you never exist at all. She is just a cold wind. Brrrrrr.

I think I probably had tougher days later in the trip (measured by sheer volume of blowouts), but this day was packed with rejection. I felt like I was going to set a lifetime personal record for blowouts that day — and just that thought made me start to laugh.

As I look at my stats, I think I got blown out something like 14 times that day. Most of them in the first half of the day.

I had, in fact, tapped into a rich vein of blowouts. One of many on this trip. It was a blowout gold mine. All you can eat blowouts. Glorious, glorious rejection.

More laughter for me as I thought of it this way.

And that is the point. This was a way of seeing blowouts as no big deal. And it worked.

And while I didn’t do as much posting and documentation of all my approaches on this trip (I had better things to write about), I was thinking of this post, and how I wanted to claim the title of BOA.

I am a blowout artist. Perhaps the best blowout artist that has ever lived!!! I’m so good, I have so much experience, I should be a blowout coach. When I retire, there will be a life-size bronze of me getting rejected by some little girl in the Blowout Hall of Fame.

Haha. Yes.

By the time I was at my 13th approach, I remember getting a blowout and then clapping and laughing. The impact on my psychology of having a girl fail to acknowledge my existence had turned. The blowouts were now actually pumping me up. It started to get me high.

I am studying RSD’s “Hotseat at Home” right now. There is great line that makes good sense to me, based on what I know from my time in the field:

“When you do pickup, for example, and you approach so many girls it shuts off the mind…”
— RST Tyler, from his Hotseat at Home

That’s part of what is going on here. The sting of AA burns out when you approach a lot. I still need to warm up, but I don’t really get AA anymore. And rejections can still hurt, or knock me down some. Start me on a downward spiral. But not always.

On some of these big days, the volume does “shut off my mind.” And not only would I feel no AA, but rejections would just make me smile.

Street approaches are not all about rejection, not at all. But getting blownout some is definitely part of the lifestyle. And sometimes, a blowout can actually become fuel, and accelerate you into the next approach, put some glow in your cheeks, make you even more solid.

I had some of this going on before I left for Japan. I remember being out with Rauker back at home and talking about blowouts. I told him that sometimes I see a girl that looks hard to approach, and I tell myself, “cool, go get that blowout,” and I run over and go for it. And it makes the whole thing fun. Loosens me up. And the truth is, I am often wrong about those “hard to approach girls.” They often pop right open.

After all those rejections, Girl #14 on this day hooked really nice, and my blowouts hotstreak was mostly over. It could have been random that I had so much rejection in the first half of my day. Or it could have been that I had to “let it go.” That the “tightness” in me was part of why I was getting those reactions.

Girl #19 that day was one of the hottest girls I’ve ever approached. Here are the notes I wrote about that approach:

Then… Very hot girl, fierce walk. Great stop, my best in TYO. She stood so close to me, she was cool, non-reactive. Gave me the “Russian minute.” I was as strong as I have ever been in set. A breaking rapport look in my eyes. She took it, and then softened. Lovely. She hooked. Claimed to be a model… which is a type of high-status claim as I see it. I don’t care about “models,” but she was beautiful and had plenty of power. She had some really excellent beauty marks to accent it all. I took her Line contact. She messaged me first. Solid. We’re chatting.
— Nash

I collected a couple more blowouts that day. But I also took four leads before it was over. Dated one of those girls several times.

There are several lessons here.

One, that the blowouts don’t mean anything. I’m not saying they’re fun, but they could be random, and even if they’re not they can be meaningless if you don’t make a big story about them in your head. In fact, they can be a state-booster, if you’re having fun.

Another lesson is that a few blowouts, even harsh ones, doesn’t mean you suck. And they certainly don’t mean the day sucks or that your state is so off you should stop.

I’m a big advocate for approaching high volume of girls in a given day, as I am convinced this high volume helps “numb” your brain. Or put you in state. Or whatever you want to call being “in flow” with women and everyone around you.

With volume and some inner game, the whole sequence gets “more local” — meaning it becomes just about you, the girl, and that little bit of concrete between you. And that’s it. It’s not about your “big special snowflake story,” or about the last girl, and how much she hated your approach. When you get to this state, each girl is a refresh, and if you have any skill, each one has the potential to go really well. Each girl is a new chapter, and a chance to start over. If your state is climbing, and you’re becoming “free,” each girl might have the potential to get even better than the one before her.

I am loving the BOA title. Claiming my legacy as a blowout artist feels like freedom to me. I used the concept several times in Tokyo as a way to remind myself to loosen up. And it worked.

I am a BOA. Maybe the best in the world!

Embrace your blowouts. Because they’re inevitable. My game has never been stronger but I still get blownout every day. Sometimes over and over. But the blowouts can boost you state. Each blowout can be a reminder that you’re free, that none of this matters, that we are social beasts and we can let our swagger run wild.

I’ll be using this term a lot, I bet. The BOA. I’m the best! You heard it here first.

Viva daygame.