TYO: The Virgin || Insta-Date vs Number Farming
I wrote this story three weeks ago… Posting it now. This is my last Japan story before I do my final notes on that trip.
I like this story, as I get to revisit a moment in my experience, and compare it to how things wrapped up. I also like that it highlights some of what I was looking to learn about idates and SDLs… And how they are connected.
I did learn a lot about idates and SDLs on that trip. And now that I’m home, and getting my local daygame rhythm going, I am still very focused on those opportunities and what they can do for my daygame and results back here in “Trump Country,” the US of A.
………….
Had a long daygame session today that included my forth insta-date. And I tried to SDL.
I was somewhat hungover from a big club night last night (I had a fantastic time at the Shark Tank). And that was after a wonderful Friday night date with Jafrica. She is awesome, and it feels on. But she wouldn’t come home with me, so I went out kind of big after that date. Home at 28:00 (aka 4 AM), eating onigiri and some of the gelato cast-offs from my week of dates.
This morning I was up at 8 AM, I felt a bit hungdog, but also fucking awesome… maybe I was still a bit drunk?
I was supposed to have sex with the Chinese Virgin today. Sounded pretty good. We’d had a great date earlier in the week, with her back to my place and 1/2 naked, but on her period, no sex.
Yesterday afternoon, she told me she had a sore throat. I have had two serious colds here already, and will not fuck up my last week with another cold… Even to fuck a virgin. She is great, I want to pick that flower, but she is not hot enough (and I am not desperate enough) to make me risk missing my last week and all those other girls by getting too close to her cold.
VIRGIN: Cause I have a sore throat maybe I should eat some porridge at home
NASH: Are you sick?
VIRGIN: Just my throat. I got up this morning and felt a little bit painful
NASH: Oh no!
NASH: I am afraid of getting a cold now.
NASH: I have had 2 since I have been here.
NASH: If you’re sick, let’s see each other on Tues or Thur, so you can can heal up first
It was fun to have a chance to say “no” to girls, like hot girls so often say no to us… that is something I’m not used to. Lots of options will help you see what a normal day is like for a hot girl. So many opportunities, you get to say “no” and pick just the best ones. It’s a great a POV, nothing mean-spirited about it. Very instructive.
VIRGIN: I think we can meet tomorrow I’m not sick I’m fine
NASH: Oh, you want to see me sooooo bad!
NASH: ^ I like it!
VIRGIN: not soooo bad
VIRGIN: Just a little bit
Ahhhh, hot girl game works. I told her no and she leaned in even harder. She wanted the date. I can see how I do the same thing when hot girls put me through similar hoops.
Okay, cool. As I was out last night, I was thinking I would take her virginity today. We had an afternoon date set up, and my plan was to deflower that girl… then maybe watch a movie.
She messaged me at 9 AM:
VIRGIN: My throat still feels painful today. So I want to have lunch at home and then go to museum. Is that OK?
With her confirming she was sick, I blew her off again. I do have a lot of options. More “hot girl” game with her. It was good practice. I told her no.
NASH: I want to see you, but I don’t want to get sick… I have been sick twice on this trip already.
NASH: Let’s try for Tuesday, or Thursday, or next weekend.
NASH: I want this time with you. Let’s do it when you’re feeling better.
She replied saying she won’t have any time next week, but I know she can find time for me if she really wants to… We’ll see.
Great reference experience to practice “hot girl game” on the Virgin. I need reference experiences. This is how we learn.
But with no afternoon lay and no date for the night I hit the streets to see if I could find a same-day date. No luck on a date, but I did take a few leads and had an interesting insta-date.
The insta-date was an older girl, early thirties but soft and elegant, very well dressed, a polished woman. High-end. She was standing still when I approached, and I rarely approach stationary girls… but I was interested in her.
I opened her and she was very nervous, in the range of fear, physically pulling back. I plowed a bit, rocking back on one foot to signal space and distance to her. I got the compliment out and she softened. She relaxed. She went from fear to curiosity to attraction… all in under 3 minutes.
She was right next to my favorite Starbucks, so as she hooked, I asked her to join me and she did. I showed some skill in getting her to settle down, but it still felt surprisingly easy. To date, all of my insta-dates have been in this Starbucks.
Her English wasn’t great, so I did a mix of talking and translating. She did a not-so-attractive version of the submissive thing, a posture some Japanese will do where they fold their hands across their lap, avoid eye contact and curl over forward.
She was so overwhelmed. She was very into the pickup, but she was literally shaking for a good portion of the date. It is amazing the effect a good pickup can have on a girl… to put a “nice girl” in a position like this, sex hanging in the air… I had several girls shake and tremble like this in Japan. During the pickup or on dates. I like it, actually.
But she was intimidated. So I went to work trying to get her to relax. My goal is certainly not to freak these girls out, but I think it’s fascinating to watch them react to the street magic.
So I told stories, complimented her, touched her, made her hold my hand, etc. We sat side by side on a couch for all this. The thing that seemed to work best was simply leaning back, arching my back in a confident way, uber-lounging. I tried to pull her into my frame. She started to mirror that, and things went better.
As we sat there talking, I was aware that it was late in the day, and every minute I spent talking to her meant I was losing time to meet other girls. She was one of the first girls I talked to on this day, and even though I got a late start, there were a lot of girls out there.
Was this idate a good use of my time? Should I be number farming?? I didn’t have enough experience to know.
And I still don’t know the answer to that question. I have heard Krauser talk about this before. It’s a bit of a gamble to spend all this time with one girl instead of farming the streets. For now, I am into idates, as I don’t know that much about them and want to explore the potential there some more.
But beyond the utility of the idate, I had something else on my mind:
“While you’re in Tokyo, I would recommend you trying something you can’t do back in the US: SNL. It will open up your reality in so many different ways. The second she stops and listens, visualize in your mind the pathway to an SNL. And FAIL badly, learn from it, try it again, rinse and repeat. I wouldn’t insist you on trying this back in the US, but since you’re in Tokyo, you’ve at least gotta give it a shot ;)”
— Stealth
This recent comment from Stealth was on my mind. That quote really got into my head in Japan.
I had woken up that morning thinking I was going to have sex with the virgin. I was disappointed… and also horny. All this had me feeling a little more aggressive than usual.
I was ready to try a SDL. My first attempt, I believe.
I tried to set up a bounce. She lives outside of Tokyo, 1.5 hours away. Unlikely I could get her back to the city before I leave. It was only 5:30, so there was a chance I could get her to my place, maybe fuck her, and she’d still have time to take the train back home.
I was about a mile from my apartment, and knew of a nice bar/restaurant on the way. It would split the distance, and get us very close to my place.
I proposed a drink. Showed her on my phone how close we were to that spot. Told her how nice it was… it is a nice place.
Ahhhh, she thought about it. It was awesome to watch the gears turn in her head. Wow, she really considered it. I bet one million bucks this girl was not expecting to get fucked that day… she was in Tokyo for a haircut. She almost “got lucky.”
But she said no. Even so, I was thrilled with myself that I tried and that I got close. My first try at a “bounce back.” This girl, that was shaking uncontrollably 15 minutes earlier, almost started down the path of going home with me. Damn, it was pretty close.
So I walked her out… And took us down a quiet street toward her train, and then stopped her and tried to kiss her. Why not. She wouldn’t kiss me either. I laughed, took her hand, and kept going. She was loving it at this point.
We arrived at a big intersection near the train station. I tried once more to get her to come have a drink. I was holding her hand, and she was very into it, really holding on to me as well. She was squeezing my hand now. All the nervousness was gone, and she was almost possessive. She knew she was going to have to give up her toy and go home, and she held onto me with real love in the parting moments. She loved the experience and knew it was almost over.
I told her to look “over there” and when she did I kissed her cheek. She blushed a little and squirmed the way a happy girl can squirm.
At some point I Facebook closed her. We’ve messaged a few times. Good experience.
And then… Back to daygame. This girl was #3 of 24 girls that day. I took at least two more leads, and got my number farming in as planned. Done and done. I didn’t have a date that night… But I tried. Back to the Shark Tank for more whiskey and nonsense that night for me.
I tried. I earned some new references experiences. No Virgin. No SDL via idate. But what a day.
Viva daygame.
:-D
Nash, mind if I hijack your comments section for a second to ask a question to the daygamers reading this?
I’ve run the numbers from the four daygame sessions we’ve done in San Francisco:
59 girls approached
13 numbers
9 did not reply to my initial text
2 stopped replying after a few messages
2 failed on logistics as girl was leaving that day or tomorrow
0 dates
Per Krauser and Tom Torero’s daygame stats, they get a girl out on a date about 40% of the time. I’m at 0%.
Some of these numbers were hot leads, as well. Most of them hooked, some of them were giggling/laughing/blushing throughout the entire interaction. And then, I text them… nothing.
Anyone have any suggestions on what I might be doing wrong?
Yeah, man. No problem.
For my part… I think you’re doing great. 13 numbers in under 60 approaches, is amazing. And you look good out there.
I think you should expect some time to calibrate to the street. This is just about you think, not what the girls think. If this isn’t “completely normal” (aka “easy”) to you, and that shows in set, that could mean your sets are not quite as solid as they could otherwise be.
For the record… I took 3 leads last week in about 35 approaches (lower lead/approach than you). All responded. 1, to tell me she had a BF, but loved the approach. The Chinese girl you saw me close… lots of back/forth, but she went silent as I asked for the date. Another Chinese girl ignored the first message, but I tried again and she chatted quite a bit last night… trying to get her out. << This feels normal to me. But if none of them replied, that would be pretty normal too. If they all go nowhere from here, that would be normal too. In my Notes for Beginners I included some stats about approaches, numbers, and dates. There is a lot of "range" in terms of results. Tom/Krauser may get them out "40%" of the time, on a given trip... but othertimes... nothing for days. Big range of results. If you had 9 of 13 not respond at all... that could be totally normal. It could be. It happens. An alternative read... you might think about how you can make those sets more solid. In your case, I would bring just as much "you," just as much "solidness," just as much "boldness," but dial back the intensity. So it's there, but it's not as "active." So it's "slower."
Pancake, if you’d like – send me the texts and I’ll comment on them. Also would be great to have a transcript of what went down live.
And hey, Pancake… as I was just reply to one of Yohami’s threads, I thought of this:
— You should try to go for fast sex
I think that could be part of an opportunity for you. If you are bold and pretty aggressive (which you are), and you like a fast-sex model, I think you might try to focus less on the number and more on idates/SDLs.
If you are looking “bad boy,” and then try to date, that could be less than ideal.
“I plowed a bit, rocking back on one foot to signal space and distance to her.” This is a good tip. Just opened a girl and I think she was scared. Had I given her a little space I perhaps could have saved the set. Next time.
I rock back on my back foot all the time. Partly as I have seen Krauser do it, and partly because it feels good and it works… you can lean back, or forward, depending on how comfortable she is… dial it in, watching her reaction and giving her more/less as needed.
One more “tip” for you…
If she looks nervous, like “very nervous,” like she is doing the fear-face, I will rock way back… but I will also sometimes say “Are you alright?” And give her a look like she is acting a tiny bit crazy.
I ONLY do this when I know I am in good state, I’m in the groove, and she is having an abnormally odd reaction. I would never give her that “look” if I was in a weird state… in that case, she might be correct in having a big reaction. If I am not feeling/acting completely comfortable and natural, I can’t expect her to.
But if I am solid, calm, “normal” and calibrated, I will give her that look and say “Are you alright?” in a slightly judgy way… and then… they almost always calm down immediately.
There is something to that combination — the look and the line — that seems make them snap into being normal pretty quickly. I’ve done this a lot, and it seems to work.
“59 girls approached
13 numbers
9 did not reply to my initial text”
i remember in one book, krauser said to expect half the numbers to go nowhere. but you are above 50%. i think it could be two things:
1. not enough attraction on the approach, in which case i would qualify her more maybe. also, do you do at least one sexual spike on the approach?
2. bad texting, like me. do you text them the same day? i think that’s what the LDM recommends. i remember sam explaining to me how right after she leaves, the window starts closing, and she starts forgetting.
13 numbers on 59 approaches is KILLER. congratulations man. you are going to be kicking ass really soon.
#camaraderie
<> I get this all the time… I’m beginning to think this falls in the category of frame testing, and is expected after a timely executed push. It’s worth remembering that the way we daygamers approach is far from ideal with regards to committing girls to a rendezvous, i.e.: we do not have the advantage of social circle game – even if we are aware that that sort of hustle presents a host of disadvantages as well, just different ones. This, I think, is true even after we’ve had sex with the girl for the first time (I’ve had girls going off radar after having sex, especially when it was rapid escalation and I was giving out extremely r-selcted vibes).
But we are hunters. We know the deal. Our strength lies in our freedom, anonymity and the transient nature of our endeavour, which shares that trait with life itself. Every daygamer should be comfortable with the idea of going out there, trying his best, giving every ounce of energy, walk the streets for hours and still get nothing in return. The love for the hunt is what keeps us coming back. We truly are gaming ouserlves.
Why do I say all this? Like Pancake, my results have diminished to the point of having had zero dates in the month of February, after 88 approaches and 18 number closes. I’ve been feeding off two regulars and honestly started to somewhat lose the love for the game, as the grind began to make itself apparent. Now I know it’s time to take some time off, make a few changes here and there and throw myself again into the mix in a few weeks time. Want to know if you are genuinely enjoying the process? A sure sign of that would be someone narrating tales out of their adventures, making the stories larger than life – like our host here – instead of obsessing with numbers. Not that it’s unimportant to keep track but ultimately, there are many things outside our control and all we should care about is taking massive action and how to manage our vibe. The rest is up to chance.
>> But we are hunters. We know the deal. Our strength lies in our freedom, anonymity and the transient nature of our endeavour, which shares that trait with life itself. Every daygamer should be comfortable with the idea of going out there, trying his best, giving every ounce of energy, walk the streets for hours and still get nothing in return. The love for the hunt is what keeps us coming back. We truly are gaming ouserlves.
I love every bit of this paragraph. Yeah. Exactly. That’s what I did yesterday… 3+ hours, 15+ girls, 3 leads, no idates (I tried), no SDL (I wanted one), no date for the night (I wanted one).
What I did do… was game myself. I was very proud of myself yesterday, for game, and other reasons. Discipline, taking action, investing in myself. All that.
It was also a wild day out there… lots of spicy, interesting moments. Very hot day. I love talking to girls.
>> “We have a right to our labor, but not to the fruits of our labor.”
— Krishna
I have used that quote on this blog before, and I love that line… was saying it to myself yesterday as I prowled around.
>> walk the streets for hours and still get nothing in return. The love for the hunt is what keeps us coming back. We truly are gaming ourselves.
Yeah.
“She replied saying she won’t have any time next week, but I know she can find time for me if she really wants to… We’ll see.” This is what I get all the time, somehow it vanished from the prevoius comment.
“my results have diminished to the point of having had zero dates in the month of February, after 88 approaches and 18 number closes.”
i think there’s a reason why krauser takes the winter off. girls just aren’t as horny when it’s cold.
I want to jump in here and say, Yes, I have heard Krauser say this a lot. And other guys too. I have been reading his book (I didn’t get far in Japan) and listening to his Womanizer’s Bible Youtube stuff…
But…
I think this is superstition. You know that I started doing better this Fall, and did great in Japan, in Jan, their coldest month. I took leads on a day when some light snow was falling. It was below freezing there, every night.
But Winter is my favorite time of year. I am in a better mood. I believe in the “romance” of winter, and I don’t believe in the romance of “spring.”
So I think we reinforce our own stereotypes. If we need a break, if we need to “break down,” we’ll do it when we are already psychologically weak. For me, that’s Spring/Summer. For others, Fall/Winter.
Pussy never takes a season off. Do you? That is the only question.
I think it’s very likely I will have a hot Spring/Summer this year. Maybe for the first time in my life. I hope that is true, we shall see.
Daygame has been about me destroying my illusions. All the “fake walls” I put up… are falling.
I will have sex with a virgin in the next few months. And with a teenager. These are old walls, that will fall.
And I will game when I think “I typically suck at game” — which is Spring/Summer.
As for Krauser… he likes the FSU… and they have real winter there. For the rest of us… don’t set up any “fake walls” for yourself.
Exactly. To further support Nash’s point, I live in the southern hemisphere of the globe; hence, it’s summer here. My problem is not the weather… it’s my vibe. I’m currently stuck in other areas of my life – my finances mainly – and this forces me to hunt in my hometown, a place which is far from ideal for daygame. The lack of targets, lack of complete anonymity and the feeling of being stuck have all aligned to bring about the perfect storm and that joyful feeling of freedom has simply vanished. So it’s perfectly understandable that girls don’t want to enter my reality… Why should they? I myself am dissatisfied with my life as it is now, and this is subconsciously communicated in my interactions. Women can pickup one’s shitty vibe with the same ease as a bat finds a moth in the dark. There are times when obsessive daygaming can actually become avoidance, particularly when one has the skillset down. For me, this is such a time and I realise much more benefit will come out of taking action to change some circumstances. The rest will hopefully follow.
Send me an email to yohami@gmail.com, I’ll give you a few tips on how to kill it in Buenos Aires, I was there for 14 years
I’m sorry you’re not feeling more momentum, man. But you sound healthy, and wise, to me.
I hope you have a plan, and you’re on it, and that discipline will set you free. And that girls will be desert to the main course of your life.
Cheers to you, brother.
Appreciate the concern. Much love here. Not really trying to sound whiny, pain’s just a natural part of growth. All players – all men, really – go through such low times. Even the mighty Krauser, as he painstakingly recounts in his blog. So no reason to complain.
Yohami, man… my hometown is a city called Mar del Plata, located about 500 km from Buenos Aires (are you an Argie as well? If so, I’m sure you know it). My current plan is to permanently move to Baires, in the next few weeks or months when I find a job there. I’ll make sure to send you an email when I’m there and we’ll definitely go for a beer if you happen to be around.
In the meantime I’ll continue to walk the streets capriciuosly and hunting erratically, whenever I feel the pull of the hunt. My daygame is actually quite effective in Baires and, what is more important, I actually enjoy it. Like our host here, I have a predilection for gaming solo and during the day – we introvert freaks, I know!
Excellent job with this blog, I must say. Keep the inspiration alive. Cheers!
Mar del Plata, you’re screwed :-D yeah I went to party there a few times. At least you have a high affluence of girls in bikinis during summer.
Im from Venezuela, moved to Buenos Aires in 2003 and stayed there until last year, now Im in Europe. Buenos Aires has special rules as you probably know already, girls are clinically crazy, the culture is very closed, but you can win if you know what you’re doing and you go to the places that act as a melting pot people from abroad + portenos + provincia people. This is a good example:
https://www.facebook.com/events/264123067351743/permalink/281558085608241/
No joda, marico! No me vengas con toda esa vaina… Lol. I’m currently dating a girl from Caracas who lives in Baires. One of the things I love about that city is that more and more girls from Venezuela and Colombia are making their home there. Lots of Brazillians too. Women from these nationalities are far more easygoing, better looking and more feminine than my fellow countrywomen, the dreaded Porteñas – this is overgeneralizing, I know… it’s just that I have has very good experiences especially with Venezuelans (have two on my rotation, currently, and they know about each other). Could it be the fact that they’re not at home so they behave? I have observed such phenomenon with Argentine women abroad.
jaja que huevon. “the dreaded Porteñas” I pretty much stopped banging porteñas when my Game got good. Why pay for sex with your sanity.
Baires is becoming very international with girls from everywhere, if you like girls from Caracas, now there are neighbourhoods full of them. Caracas Bar is amazing btw. With the “language exchanges” and “CS” and “expatriat groups” and “student parties” etc – there’s a never ending flux.
“they know about each other”
You’re up for a fun ride!
“Could it be the fact that they’re not at home so they behave? ”
You’re higher value to them because you’re an exotic flavor (to them) so they give you more rope. Same benefits that I got. The higher value the more rope. They’ll make the rope shorter and strangle you with it, as soon as you let them, you know how that goes :-)
“Why pay for sex with your sanity.”
I hear you, my man… However it’s our men who are to blame. Most have zero game and will bang anything and put up with anything. Thus, the importance of making game to be learnt far and wide – a lost cause if you ask me.
One of my goals is to eventually become a daygame instructor, at least coaching my male friends and acquaintances. Even if there’s no monetary profit to be had from it. First I have to get good, of course… We’ll see.
Apart from being an exotic flavour to them, which is true, the fact that virtually nobody does daygame here – or does cold approach in a socially calibrated manner for that matter – has its weight as well, I think. I do seem to attract a particular ‘breed’ of girls that respond well to daygame (you know the ones) and I happen to like them. I am willing to try other ways to meet girls, but cold approach will continue to be the main source of my hookups. As someone once said, “Viva daygame”.
>> However it’s our men who are to blame. Most have zero game and will bang anything and put up with anything. Thus, the importance of making game to be learnt far and wide – a lost cause if you ask me.
Yeah… total lost cause.
The “super right” guys are often into game, but also pro marriage, and will step on pickup types, as they are anti-family, and fuel anti-civilization pump-dump exchanges, single parent homes, etc. They think that we get good at game, to snag a wife, a young one, lock her up, have babies, use game to keep “upper hand,” keep her attracted and keep her from cheating… do it for civilization.
Some of that makes sense, but that’s not me.
I am super pro “civilization,” but I know stable society can accommodate a few cads like me, as we are so few in numbers (even if we end up with a radically disproportionate % of pussy), we’ll have no impact on bluepill society. It’ll carry on just fine.
Men will never step up to “player status” (for a million reasons)… the most obvious is that it’s a fucking hard process.
In the meantime, I love that most men will either flail with girls or run “Disney game” … as that leaves the girls very hungry and exposed for proper game from one of us. Yes to that.
And I secretly feel like the “ratios” of bluepillers and betas and alphas and players is locked by “God.” That it’s a natural balance… that it will never change. “Nature” wants a few men siring all the kids. She would rather have “1/8th” of a strong man than 200% of a weak one.
You can, in fact, decide which side of the beta/player gap you want to be on if you have the work ethic, but the ratio will never be impacted by the rare choice when a man hops from beta to player. Too infrequent to ever make a difference.
Nash, just saw this over Riv’s site:
“The puzzle is not “what she wants,” it’s what part of YOU she wants.”
Right! Whenever I say “what she wants” it’s “what she wants from YOU”, sorry if that wasnt clear enough. I preface that by saying “this is a sexual interaction” which means she wants dick, and you want to fuck her, and there’s a screening in between of you, she wants something from you, you want something from her. That desire from her permeates everything she’ll do and say, just like your desire from her permeates everything you do and say.
So
“Which part of you she wants”
You flaunt and lead and set the tone and move towards what you want, and look for the things she responds to and you double down on these. Always from the top guy frame.
The “top guy” idea – there’s nothing zen about it. If the idea doesn’t resonate as something familiar, then you just need more experience with the hot girl frame you found not long ago. This isnt some abstract stuff. If it’s remove and vague, get closer. Practice being a boss, a ceo, a dominant figure. Here’s again where I’d advise that you get a role somewhere where this kind of behavior is expected from you. This is not some meditative abstract idea that you figure out through zen and contemplation – this is down to earth and here and now and practical. Be a boss, be a leader, command – then cater to your captive audience, which is her, and read her responses.
>> “The puzzle is not “what she wants,” it’s what part of YOU she wants.”
>>
>> Right! Whenever I say “what she wants” it’s “what she wants from YOU”, sorry if that wasnt clear enough.
Yeah. Hey man, I continue to say to anyone who will listen than I am growing in leaps and bounds because of you. I thank you again, Yohami. You really know this “game” remarkably well. You say things I have mostly never heard before… mostly. And I can understand things other people say better, as you keep giving me clues as to where to put my attention.
And I have been spending a lot of time studying RSD. And I understand them much better, because of what you have taught me.
I was going thru Julian’s PIMP GAME videos this week. And he does the a version of “swing your dick.” It’s exactly what you teach. Julian is constantly swinging his dick.
I think it was on Riv’s blog where I point to what Tyler talks about in terms of what “swing your dick” looks like. I am really spending some quality time w/ the Tyler Hotseat, and I will write a long post about it when I’ve gotten thru it. I’m thru a lot of it.
>> >> “The puzzle is not “what she wants,” it’s what part of YOU she wants.”
This is such a breakthru for me… and it’s pretty obvious at one level, and very elusive at another.
I can see it Riv’s posts (because it’s always easier to see it in someone else, vs in myself). I can see Riv trying to figure girls out, what “they want.” And the opportunity for Riv (or me, or any of us) is ONLY what part of US they want. It’s crazy obvious, but really helped me get another big slice of this.
How can we give her something we don’t already have? Impossible. This is fucking awesome, because now we have a FINITE world to play from. What do I have? That’s it. Show her that — aka, swing my dick. That’s all I can do. Great!
Long term, I can get more “tricks” (more skill, more value, more shit that is mine, that is me). Short term, I can get those tricks in front of the girl. Swing my dick. That’s it.
Step 1: Swing my dick.
Step 2: Give her more of what she wants, less of what she doesn’t want.
If she loves it, give it to her. If she wants something else I have, give her that instead. If she doesn’t like what I have… “next” that girl, I can’t help that girl and she sure as fuck can’t help me.
It is not about being Sherlock Holmes and “finding the secret key” that will unlock the girl. Those possiblities are endless, and it’s a waste of time to consider them. Be “top guy,” swing your dick, take what bites at your swagger. Done.
Tyler does a really good job of showing the essential building blocks of what “swinging your dick” looks like. I’m paying a lot of attn there.
I think I am in a great place to watch you, Yohami, and study RSD on the side, and then apply what I’m learning on the daygame girls. I’m in a unique positions to put all this together. Yohami + RSD is like drinking from a fire hose.
“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
I’m ready.
Yep, you’re getting it :-)
Here’s the fun bit:
“It is not about being Sherlock Holmes and “finding the secret key” that will unlock the girl.”
This is 100% true, but then:
“Be “top guy,” swing your dick, take what bites at your swagger. Done.”
When THAT is your basic configuration, when that is you – you are the key that opens all locks, including the girl who had the ‘secret key’ request. Because all games girls play are to filter out all man and get to you.
“Be “top guy,” swing your dick, take what bites at your swagger. Done.”
That’s the recipe. Then you can add sugar or salt or spice or whatever, it doesn’t really matter. Happy girl will laugh more, cold girl will bitch more, crazy girl will maneuver more, sad girl will mope more, intellectual girl will analyse more, slut girl will put out more, chaste girl will awkardize more. It. Doesn’t. Matter.
They. All. Fuck. The. Same. Dick.
You’ll be different to all of them because they are all different. But at the base it’s the same. You’re different in that you don’t waste jokes on the sad girl, happy girl takes them way better. But your deeper conversations are better with intellectual girl etc. You don’t try to force your way into what the girls cant take / don’t respond to. “You only escalate when they are going to say yes”. What are they going to say yes to?
They tell you straightforward, since the begining, all the time they’ve been talking to you, responding to you, interacting with you, they are saying yes to things and no to things and all that is a recipe to fucking them – they are handing you the instruction manual, because you asked. You talking to them when you wanted to fuck them is you asking, and they give you an instruction manual (aka the puzzle) in the shape of: they are receptive to things and not to others. Because of who they are. Some will laugh, some will cry. Some will cry into fucking. True story.
But the “top guy” guy is mandatory or you’ll do the courtship / screening as the other alternative, known as “beta chase”.
>> You don’t try to force your way into what the girls cant take / don’t respond to. “You only escalate when they are going to say yes”. What are they going to say yes to?
Yeah. It’s still calibrated. But it comes from “swing your dick” (sugar, spice, whatever), and then calibrating to what makes her respond.
And I think the breakthru that still needs underlining here is that YOU are the center of the game. That’s what it means to be “top guy.” So what she responds to is what AMUSES YOU, that she happens to make her hook.
You got it.
>> And if the path is not obvious and she’s not bitting then the answer is: nothing. The answer is never “put more effort and more chase”, the answer is never “try harder” or “chase more”.
— Yohami
I went to look for this comment… as it was part of how I started to put something together based on your comments in the last couple of weeks.
It helped me to hear about you doing “nothing.” That helped me get it. Of course you didn’t get every girl, and you certainly didn’t chase… I needed to hear this part.
“Nothing.”
Sometimes you walk away. I think I have been too focused on “solving the puzzle.” Doubting myself when I didn’t figure it out. And that meant trying too much, too often, too hard. All “bottom guy” stuff.
This is the classic “how to get any girl!!!” pickup lie… not every girl wants to fuck Beiber, and he doesn’t waste anytime trying to get those girls. He swings his dick, “spots the win,” and does “nothing” with the “no girls.” What no girls? He can’t even see them. Why bother to look for them??
I go back to this idea of volume, lots of leads… as that allows you to “do nothing” on the girls that don’t give you green lights… not in some artificial way, but in the “I’m a top guy, I have too much going on, too many options, I pay attention to yes.”
“Hello, Yes… c’mere.”
Yes, you swing your dick. But there are a “room full of girls.” You play w/ the ones that are into you and your swagger. You might throw a move at a girl because you like her. But you don’t sit around “trying to solve her puzzle” when she is not into the swing of your dick.
Next…
“Hey, I’m a cool guy… you’re a little bit cute… c’mere.”
“Hey, I’m a cool guy… you’re a little bit cute… c’mere.”
Which happens to be what the cutest girls on the room like. That’s the guy they are trying to spot.
“But you don’t sit around “trying to solve her puzzle” when she is not into the swing of your dick.”
When you’re the type of guy who doesn’t sit around trying to solve the puzzle of a girl who’s not into the swing of your dick – then you have the kind of swing that every girl is desperately trying to get a taste of.
You’re the guy that hot girl is complaining about and has other men trying to figure her out, but she’ll throw herself at you because she knows she only has one chance.
Short story time.
In my beta years I had one dance available and I used it all the time. It involved finding ONE girl that I could feel I’d trade my life for and be committed forever. I’d involve that girl in friendly non sexual activities and move very slowly into being comfortable with each other. I’d talk hours and days online about deep intellectual subjects and let the feelings accumulate. Then some of these would be verbalized. Then I’d go for a relationship – I would for sure be in a committed relationship before going for sex. As you can imagine, only a tiny percent of girls were willing to go through that process, and I had already a tiny percentage of girls I liked enough to start that dance, so this meant years of celibacy at a time. Then when I’d land a girl, she’d likely be a crazy one.
When I found game I was in the middle of one of such courtships, trying to get into a relationship with a girl for about 8 months, and she was making me mad.
When I started learning game I learned, or read about, a million different tricks. As soon as I started parroting them, to all girls, not just the ones I’d put through my original dance, I got positive responses, from all girls, including the girls I didn’t like. When I was dealing with a specific girl I’d always be clueless about which of the 1 million tricks I should do on her to get her to open, so when she passed on me or I’d burn the set I was clueless about what went wrong.
But that’s game done as a beta.
What is the core frame of reference?
“she’s the prize”
“she’s the prize and I must inflate my value so she doesn’t reject me”
“I must do things to generate attraction”
“I must not screw up”
At the center of this is the belief that she has the value and you take it, or you earn it through an exchange. You’re offering “an experience” or “value” or whatever you repeat to yourself in your mind so you give yourself permission to hit on that girl who you see has more value than you do. So “screwing up” is showing your hand. “being honest” is losing the girl.
This is why I bitch about game and anti pua. What is missing here? the question, simple:
What does she want? what do girls want? why is she talking to you? what is in this for her?
The answer to that, the universal answer, is that she wants to fuck / get into a relationship with / marry / get impregnated by / spend time with / a top guy, and she’s thinking you’re one, which is why she’s giving you time, so you can do your thing, and girls enjoy immensely time spent with ‘top guy’. What is top guy?
You. The version of you who is unapologetic, direct, confident, winner, self reassured, with a sense of humor, going for what you want, sexual, winner, cocky. You, the man. You’re not the man? then there’s nothing for you. She’s into you? she’s seeing you as the man. She’s not into you? she’s not seeing you as the man. How do you make sure she sees you as the man?
Be it.
And when you are it, who gives a fuck about what she sees in you? That’s the beauty. If you climb to the top of yourself and let yourself be, who gives a fuck about how they see you? you swing your dick waiting for her to see you, and when she does, you laugh because you know she no longer has defenses and you can do with her whatever you want, so you do. And everyone’s happy.
The reason this is a paradox (and even Tyler has issues with it at times) is that you’re doing game because you see women as the prize. But the way to win the game is becoming the prize yourself.
That’s the way to win it, and the only game worth playing.
>> What is top guy?
>> You. The version of you who is unapologetic, direct, confident, winner, self reassured, with a sense of humor, going for what you want, sexual, winner, cocky.
Yes, yes, yes.
Where I am at right now is this…
>> unapologetic, direct, confident, winner, self reassured, with a sense of humor, going for what you want, sexual, winner, cocky.
This is the formula. This is what swagger looks like… specifically. This is the “instruction manual.”
And that… is exactly what Yohami and RSD stress. I am hearing this in different forms from Tyler and Julian. I’m going to keep studying there for a while. They are hitting the spot right now, for where I am at.
And I am eating this up right now…
Putting ME and THOSE TOP GUY QUALITIES in the center… run the tornado… sex will fly out.
Thanks, Yohami.
This guy is great – smart and articulated. At the moment dealing with the hardships of rejection
https://redpillrambling.blogspot.li/
Agreed.
I saw him post on Riv’s blog, so I have been reading a bit of his posts… his comment system doesn’t work for me, so I can’t comment there. Too bad. And this “subscribe” function looks broken too. But good content.
Saw some of your comments there, Yohami.
Yeah I left a couple. Works if you have a google account
“The puzzle is not ‘what she wants,’ it’s what part of YOU she wants.”
EXCELLENT.
^ That comment came from discussion on YOUR BLOG, Riv. : ] Going over your posts, and trying to talk about what is working for me right now.
Distilling Yohami and RSD until I can get my mind wrapped around it.
you are a great interpreter of these two great minds.
““it’s foolish self-deception to believe a woman telling you “normally, I don’t do that [fucking a guy so quickly]” or “I never did that before”.”
Agreed. That’s why I don’t listen to what women say. That’s like, Game 101. Every chick thinks she’s an innocent angel and writes off all the times that “don’t count” like sex outside her race, vacation sex, drunk sex she regrets, etc. Just like an interrogation pro can generally tell when someone’s full of shit and what makes them tick because he’s dealt with so many people trying to bullshit him and his job is to get to the truth, a PUA can generally tell when a woman is full of shit and what makes her tick because he’s dealt with so many of them (not just sexually, but in general interactions/conversations with thousands of different ones since that’s what we purposely go out and do on a regular basis (“sarging”)).
Here’s why all girls are sluts, broken down in-depth:
Attraction is a primal emotion/instinct/reaction, like anger. If you figure out what a person’s boundary is, you can make them angry. Some people are easy to make angry, some people are more difficult, but everyone has a threshold where their instincts kick in and they’ll get angry and fight.
Ergo, all girls have the potential to be attracted, you just have to find their threshold. Some girls thresholds are lower than others, but just as Ghandi and monks who spend their lives learning to repress those emotions are basically the only ones you can’t eventually piss off with the right stimuli, pretty much any women’s attraction can be triggered since Ghandi is the outlier and those guys swinging fists outside the bar and getting angry on Internet forums is the norm.
PUA teaches guys to specifically dig down to the girl’s attraction blueprint and extract it in a smooth way (this is where the non-judgement Secret Society stuff comes in) VS most guys who stumble around clueless and occasionally trigger it, or natural players who are good at instinctively triggering it but are the equivalent of a “friend who listens” VS a “trained psychologist” (they’re good, but not targeted/trained like a sniper). To go back to the anger example, a PUA is like the bully or comedian who can sum a person up quickly and just KNOWS exactly what button to push on someone to “zing” them and piss them off, while other people just spray-n-pray insults like “You’re an ectodweeb!” desperately hoping something hits.
So let’s Occam’s razor this. Which is more likely?:
1) That women are all just running on emotional instinct with various thresholds that can basically all be triggered, some more difficult than others but since even the good girl ends up getting married even SHE has an attraction threshold.
2) Or that there’s a super secret subset of women who (despite that we all know from the Manosphere women are completely encouraged and rewarded NOT to self-analyze or train themselves to control their emotions in any way) have defied all odds and natural programming and have trained themselves to be impossible to attract in under a specific amount of hours and in specific conditions because they are MADE OF MAGIC lol And that this subset of women is statistically huge enough to be in any way more relevant than using Ghandi as an example of how peaceful people are.
So why do red pill guys still cling to number 2?
I suspect there’s an overlap between people who can convince themselves there’s a God to avoid the reality that bad things happen for no reason, and people who can convince themselves that not all women are like that to avoid the reality that girls and humans in general (including us here in this comment section) aren’t unique and special snowflakes.
The reality is that some of you are still clinging to the hope that “not all women are like that” because it’s scary to think that 1) your wife, mom, etc. is/was exactly like that, 2) you will have to accept the terrifying notion that if you want to settle down, your girl will have the same slut-potential (but with a lower, but not un-reachable threshold) than the drunk mini-skirt chick dancing on the bar and you can never fully trust that she won’t stray on you unless you lock her in the basement and keep her from any human contact, and 3) you may die alone because the goal you’ve created in your head as a requirement for you to marry and settle down doesn’t exist, the same way you’d die alone if you made a vow not to marry a woman until you’ve videotaped yourself high-fiving God.
What’s controlling these fears (which are what lead to this desperate view), is the madonna/whore complex rooted way down in it’s deepest form to where you can even ADMIT that “some girls are definitely sluts” but it has to be followed by “…but not ALL of them.” to appease your fears and to allow you to keep searching for your non-existent treasure…because if you admitted to yourself that that treasure doesn’t exist, the future you’ve imagined for yourself would be shaken and it would all be too bleak to accept.
[…]”