A Week in the Hunt: Leads and Rejections
Last week was a good week in daygame. I ran at least a few approaches every day last week. I took nine new numbers. And all of them went exactly nowhere.
Hmmm. Of course I’m surprised by that lead-to-failure ratio, but I’m not bothered. It was a very good week. Not all these pickups were perfect connections… But I felt powerful chasing down girls, maybe especially when I wasn’t out on a proper hunting session.
There is something righteous and masculine about seeing a girl, saying “hmm, I want to talk to her,” and then walking over and making it happen. Sounds simple, and it can be… But it’s easier said than done.
But no dates from nine leads (I did date last week, but not from these girls). I would expect 1-4 dates from that many leads. Which could easily mean another lay and another girl in the harem… But twas not to be.
Alright, cool. That’s a kind of rejection. And yet the resonance of pride remains. I wish some of those girls made it into my girl tornado — and I wish some of their clothes made it onto my floor — but it was good to be a hunter. To mix it up with the prey. It was good to be hunting.
“…baring one’s fangs and jumping in front of her to claim her flesh.”
— Daygame in Shitsville
I love the hunt itself. Daygame in Shitsville clearly does too… that’s a great quote.
But the lack of date-conversions gives me a chance to write another post about rejection and failure. That is part of all this too. And I’m glad to share that part of my life as well. That’s real.
Props to all the guys out there earning their wins… and their rejections. The ascendency to mastery means experiencing both.
I have made the claim that I am not a Pickup Artist. Not a “PUA” — I really never think of myself in those terms. I have called myself a Blowout Artist (“BOA”). I like that concept. It points to the inherent part of daygame that is about blowouts, and that flavor of rejection. But this week wasn’t like that.
I can think of only one blowout last week. There were probably more, but I can’t remember them. Almost every girl stopped for me. That’s not my goal (blowouts are normal for a guy at my stage), but it was nice to have so many girls stop.
And I had many great interactions. The Mexican girl from Wisconsin and the short-haired Asian girl with the suspenders… Both had boyfriends, but both were awesome sets. I liked those girls. Super vivid and easy to remember them, even now.
Many of the girls last week hooked. Social hook, if not sexual hook (which is, of course, much more important). I had a lot of good moments on the sidewalk.
And I took a lot of contact info… Numbers, Facebook, and one girl told me to contact her by email (almost always a bad sign, but that’s how I got it started with Siren).
I followed up with all of them… And almost none of them got back to me.
That is the truth of this post.
I’ll say more about that below, but for now… This is a good opportunity to talk about running game. And I love to run game… And to come back to “the fire” and tell the stories of the hunt. That’s what this post is… Me at the fire, smiling, telling stories to other hunters.
Here are some of those stories…
The first girl of the week passed me in the mall, and then dropped down into the subway. Asian, tall, big lips. I gave chase. This was not in a daygame session, I was on my way to do some work. She was here from Korea, studying English. She was shy, in a hurry, barely spoke English, but I took her number. First lead of the week. Kind of shaky, but fun to go after her and close her in the middle of my day.
Next girl was a super cute Asian girl, in my neighborhood. My neighborhood is mostly gay, so I don’t pick up there… She might be the first number I’ve ever taken where I live (that is a little bit of progress, right there). She was Thai… Probably 22? Very sexy little girl in tight jeans, with a bit of belly showing between her belt and her t-shirt. Took her number. Then we ended up riding the train downtown together. Felt reasonable solid, but not totally on. Cute, fashionable girl… And she knew it.
Later that day, another Thai girl. Young, soft, maybe a little cubby, but cute. Art student. Complained about “too many homeworks.” She hooked and her eyes sparkled. Was asking me questions. She was nervous, but interested. She declined the number but we added me to her Facebook account as we wrapped up the chat.
Next day… I was on my way downtown, super beautiful Asian girl. Probably 25, slim, shiny hair, dressed in all black. She had to slide past me as she exited the train, and I felt a small thrill as she went… it was not my stop at all, but I got off anyway and went after her. I have been telling myself that Miss Good Smell has been a good deal (I am really enjoying her), but she is over 30 and while my CEO loves her, some other part of me wants to be dating younger girls. This girl was younger, hotter, tighter in every way. As she got off the train I chased after and stopped her. She is a designer. She is of Korean heritage, but from Russia, just moved here. Asian girls with Russian accents… wow. Wouldn’t give me her number, gave me her card and told me to email her. Such a hot girl.
This one is interesting… I was also not specifically out daygaming but she “really caught my eye,” as I like to say, so I gave chase. Very hot, young Asian girl. Great walk and delicious little hips. But then I noticed a big hearing aid on one ear… Sounds like a joke but it’s true. I knew if there was another on the other ear that would mean she was def, or close to it. And she is was. I stopped her, picked her up like anyone else. She had the strange “accent” that you have when you can’t hear yourself talk. But other than that, she was more fun than average and very cute. Showed me some modeling photos, etc. Asked a lot of questions. I’d date her. I took her number and she messaged me first.
I was downtown, on the same corner where I met The Taiwanese Girl and Miss Good Smell… That is a high-ROI corner for me. Hot, tall Asian girl. From Korea. Pilates instructor. Long legs and nice hips packed into tight yoga pants. Studying English. Set felt very solid, took her number.
Same day as the other Korean, I saw a short, young cutie with a camera. Tourist, here for 9 days, and traveling alone! Those are great logistics, and I caught her on her first day. She was very nervous, super cautious. I roped her in, got her to calm down. She relaxed. It became fun. I took her number. I did a good job of reeling her in, decent game on her despite that initial nervousness.
Then I was out with The Cigar, doing a few approaches downtown. Miss Good Smell had given me a hickie on my lip the night before (she almost sucked my face off), so I had an odd purple spot on my lip, but decided to run a little game anyway. Cool to be out with Cigar. This girl was a lovely, young one, with shiny perfect hair. She popped open, very receptive. In town for a job interview. Took her number. Also felt super solid. Closed her despite the love-bruise on my lip.
That’s eight… There’s one more I can’t remember. At that stage of the model — taking leads — I killed it.
Messaged all those girls. Twice. I had that initial message from the def girl, and two responses from the hot little Thai girl, and then nothing. All dead leads.
Surprising.
I had Good Smell and Siren in my bed. Had my 2nd date with a different Mongolian (the mom) and that one is suddenly very on. Miss Thick “broke up with me,” again, but I calmed her down and we have a date set up for next week.
So my “harem” was good to me, even if the new girls were not.
Since then, a bunch of new leads, and a really awesome day out today, more game with The Cigar, met another daygamer I’ll call the Vicar, say Rauker… Good day.
We hunt. We don’t always take home the kill, but we hunt.
We’re bachelors. We’re bastards of Game. This is what we do.
Viva daygame.
Interesting field report…how exactly are you trying to get dates setup with your followup? Texting is where a lot of guys run into to trouble so maybe there’s a few tweaks you can make to improve your success rate.
>> Interesting field report…
Thanks, man. My game is much more than just rejection… but I like to show the whole experience… In part to keep it real, and in part, to show other guys that rejection is normal.
>> how exactly are you trying to get dates setup with your followup?
Here’s my FORMULA:
— ME: Something about the pickup
— HER: Anything in response
— ME: A tease or comfort… maybe related to the pickup
— HER: Anything positive
— ME: Ask her out
EX1:
— ME: Hey Miss Shanghai… nice to see you and that walk of yours on the sidewalk yesterday
— HER: Haha… nice to meet you too
— ME: I loved that comment you made about “snacks,” I have a theory all Asian girls love potato chips.
— ME: [Picture of a can of Pringles]
— HER: Lol
— ME: I’ve got some time this week, let’s get a drink. How about Tues night, 7 PM.
^ That is typical structure for me
If she is LOW INVESTMENT, not giving me a ton to work with, doesn’t know me that well this is what I do. My goal in this kind of exchange is, 1.) Don’t fuck up the vibe, and 2.) Get her out so I can show more of what I’ve got.
Now, if she asks questions about me or the date… I can do more… but until she does, I typically do exactly this.
EX2: (Actual example from this week)
— ME: [Pic of my cat doing something cute]
— ME: Good morning
— ME: Cool to meet you downtown yesterday, you were fun.
— HER: It was fun meeting you yesterday, happy weekend.
— ME: I think now you are at another graduation party… I hope it’s fun
— ME: [Generic pic of some girls on the dancefloor]
— HER: Heading home now, I’m too tired to party…
— … [more back and forth between she and I]
— ME: I want to see you, let’s make a plan.
— ME: How about I take us for a drink tomorrow… or Tuesday???
^ That is a real exchange with a girl that I’m going out with tonight. There was more to it after my offer, but she said yes.
In this example, she gave me more to work with. I think she likes me, so I could do more via text.
In basic text exchanges with a LOW INVESTMENT girl, we are in the double bind of don’t do too little (or nothing happens) and don’t do too much (and look needy/try hard).
With other girls, I am doing some stuff via text I am very proud of lately… but only when I have MEDIUM INVESTMENT, or HIGH INVESTMENT. That means the girl is giving me something in response. I won’t go into that now… but I’ve done some great text game this year. A lot of it with pictures.
Typically, if I ask her out, and then she challenges me…
— HER: You’re not an axe murderer are you?? : )
That ^ kind of thing means I can do more, and I’m not chasing her, as she’s investing time in the exchange. But unless I get something like this… she is LOW INVESTMENT, and I try to close, and don’t worry about it if it doesn’t happen.
And for the record… I have had a LOT of dates with girls that were LOW INVESTMENT, and I turned them around on that date. Dating “low investment” girls is cool. These are “maybes.” Maybes can be turned into yeses. That is game.
………………………
For most LOW INVESTMENT numbers, if she’s not “in love,” I would do EX1 (above), and if she is interested, she’ll say yes, if not, she goes away. That’s normal. Not much I can do if she won’t invest. I’ll just look like I’m chasing.
For some HIGH-INVESTMENT girls, either because she likes me from the pickup, or maybe we had one simple date, and now sex is on the table… that is the time where good text game really comes through. She is invested enough, and you know enough about her, to play with her and the situation more.
For the girls last week… they gave me nothing.
I tossed out one date offer (to the def girl), but none of the other’s gave me anything at all to work with… so they’re “not interested” in my view, and I pinged then twice each, and then left them alone.
OH YEAH a texting masterclass by nash. this is really great stuff. i suck at texting and i really like your simple, clear explanations.
“With other girls, I am doing some stuff via text I am very proud of lately… but only when I have MEDIUM INVESTMENT, or HIGH INVESTMENT. That means the girl is giving me something in response. I won’t go into that now… but I’ve done some great text game this year. A lot of it with pictures.”
CURIOUS.
talk to me, big guy.
Let’s talk offline, Riv… I have a lot to say about this.
I think I’ll start posting about texting more often… I’m not claiming to be particularly good. But I think texting is where a lot of the negotiation goes down.
>> really like your simple, clear explanations.
Thanks, man. That post was a bit of a breakthru… that “investment vs type of strategy” bit… that came out as I wrote that comment.
Here’s my FORMULA:
— ME: Something about the pickup
— HER: Anything in response
— ME: A tease or comfort… maybe related to the pickup
— HER: Anything positive
— ME: Ask her out
I’ve been doing almost the same thing. I think Krauser’s formula is similar (which is where I learned to text)
“She might be the first number I’ve ever taken where I live (that is a little bit of progress, right there).”
yes, that is very possible. you wrote about this before.
“it was not my stop at all, but I got off anyway and went after her.”
my man!
Felt really good, Riv. The Mongolian Mom (I haven’t really posted about her yet, but she a very warm prospect right now)… picked her up the same way. Got off the train at her stop, and chased her down.
Good deal.
“Very hot, young Asian girl. Great walk and delicious little hips. But then I noticed a big hearing aid on one ear… Sounds like a joke but it’s true. I knew if there was another on the other ear that would mean she was def, or close to it. And she is was. I stopped her, picked her up like anyone else. She had the strange “accent” that you have when you can’t hear yourself talk. But other than that, she was more fun than average and very cute. Showed me some modeling photos, etc. Asked a lot of questions. I’d date her. I took her number and she messaged me first.”
YEAH
NO LIMITS
I was not being “gimmicky” or “polite.” That girl was hot.
When I saw the second hearing aid… I did what I like to do… I asked myself, “What would she look like in your bed, naked, after sex…” And in my mind she looked great, so I approached.
And like I said, she was a really fun pickup…
She asked me right away if I was an artist. Which was interesting. And I asked why? And she said, “Because artists are good at noticing things.”
She was cool. I’m sorry she went cold… I’d date her.
What do you do with dead leads? Just delete or throw a bit of value in there every month like friends of mine which seems to work.
Viva Daygame
Ij
Hey man… thanks for the comment.
>> What do you do with dead leads? Just delete or throw a bit of value in there every month like friends of mine which seems to work.
My current attitude is “text them 2X, and then forget they exist.” That is not about them. Or about me being “thorough.” It’s about me not chasing.
My point here, is to avoid the feeling like I am chasing. I don’t care what the girls think, but I don’t want to feel like a man that chases… so I don’t.
But check this out:
>> Second: don’t delete all these numbers. Before you do so, since you consider them dead, do something risky – send very sexual innuendo. Maybe some of them will respond and you’ll learn something.
— Yohami
Yohami put that comment on my story about my first daygame lay… and I think he’s right. I don’t quite know how to do what he is suggesting, but I know Yohami could make this work and this is a good point.
My point here, is to avoid the feeling like I am chasing. I don’t care what the girls think, but I don’t want to feel like a man that chases… so I don’t.
Completely agree. Focus on those that are interested or find more that are. Guys waste so much time with bad prospects. Once you are chasing it’s screwed the dynamic anyway.
Great post – There is something righteous and masculine about seeing a girl, saying “hmm, I want to talk to her,” and then walking over and making it happen. Sounds simple, and it can be… But it’s easier said than done.
So true. So life affirming. It’s addictive.
>> So true. So life affirming. It’s addictive.
Yeah. I have been wanting to “hunt” everyday…. in part because all my girls are just slightly out of reach! I’ve got one per week that seems available, and then the others get busy… or go out of town. As I get busier, I won’t have room for any more girls… but for now, I’m stoking the tornado.
But yeah… almost everyday… and it’s getting easier. And easier to blend the line between a proper hunt session and just living the life of a hunter. Feels very good.
nash your blog is getting better and better, you are getting better and better, and the comments, your replies, and the lessons, insight, and value — better and better, baby!
viva DAYGAME and viva CAMARADERIE and VIVA NASH’S BLOG.
CAMARADERIE! That’s your term, man…. I’m runnin’ with it.
Let’s get better together.
I’ve been connecting with more and more guys, trying to help each other out. Cobra and I had a call last week… that guy is early in the journey, but he’s gonna make it.
And The Cigar and I winged together a lot last week, he is great wing… smart guy, Latin style, power, Yohami would like him. I actually came out to nightgame with him (only because we had two girls lined up), and he is amazing at night game. Very good.
And I coached another guy, our age, wants to get going… sent him all my Notes For Beginner Daygamers.
There aren’t many of us men in the Secret Society (good!). Let’s help each other out. We have a lot to learn.
Leaving this here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU1sIV3H8f4