What To Say To Girls | A Structure for a Daygame Stack
I don’t usually write “how to” posts on this blog. There are a lot of “how to” articles out there, and most of those posts are generic, impersonal and dry… repetition at that level is not what I want to do in this space. But I get a lot of questions about “what to say” from beginner daygamers (and sometimes from my friends). It’s coming up a lot, so I’m ready to try to put down my thoughts about the “words” I focus on when I talk to girls on the street. I’m ready to talk about “my stack.”
Below I’ll lay out my notes about “What to say to girls.” I’ll say WHY I use the structure I do. And I’ll give some examples from my own pickups to illustrate why I would recommend something like this structure for guys starting out.
If you’ve been in and around the Community for a while, “what do I say to girls?” is a question that might make you laugh… it’s a classic. Or it might irritate you… as you know that “the pickup lines” are actually such a small part of this game (which is very true). But for new guys, it’s their starting point and a fair inquiry.
I have been talking about this structure with my wings for a while, and I am taking the time now to lay it out in full detail. To get that process started, here is a preview of the structure I like, taken from a conversation I had with Runner on this topic last year:
NASH: Your stack = logistics
NASH: This is efficient and smart… Logistics are everything, so make them the primary stack… And riff from there
NASH: “Why are you here?”
NASH: “Where do you live?”
NASH: “Are you a student or do you have a job?”
NASH: ^ This takes a while, fills space, gives you material, and… helps you know how to game her
NASH: ^^ This + “color” (=teasing) and some DHV = 5 mins is up, take the number
Okay, there is a very quick version of my stack. That is the outline, and I’ll go through other examples of that basic structure several times in this post.
First, some general comments on a “stack.”
I don’t personally think that much about “my stack.” When I see a girl I want to open, I don’t walk in with a plan about what to say. It’s good if I have some comment about what I noticed about her, but beyond that, not really. In many ways, anything pre-planned will hurt your game.
If you walk up to a girl with a canned version of what you want to say, it will take you out of the moment, make you less authentic, limit your responsiveness… and none of that is good for your game. Later this summer I will quote Swingcat (“GOAT”) on this topic extensively. For now, keep in mind that pre-planned conversations are not ideal at all, and are in many ways the very opposite of good seduction.
But for new guys, the idea of a stack is a way to limp into the game. It’s a temporary tool to help you break the ice (“the ice” of your own social progress). You’ll use some pre-planned stuff at first…most guys do. And then you’ll get past some of your initial fears and self-doubt, you’ll rack up personal reference experiences, and you’ll be ready to move forward with a more creative, “alive” version of you.
This ^ is all a normal stage for most “non-naturals” to work though (I went through this stage). Don’t worry about it. But before we dive deeper into this structure, take a mental note about how overly-rigid stacks are something you want to avoid in general and certainly aim to outgrow.
Now let’s make a distinction between a “script” and a “structure.”
The exact terms for those concepts aren’t important, but it’s the distinction that matters to me here. Let’s say that a script is LINEAR (each line, written out, all in a row, trying to anticipate how she’ll respond) and a structure is more like a “framework” and is more FLEXIBLE than a script could ever be.
I’m not interested in helping anyone script a conversation out… that’s a tool that won’t serve the job. Don’t do that.
But a STRUCTURE… maybe something like “goals” for the approach… could serve the pickup in a larger sense on one hand, AND help with “what to say” on the other.
There are an infinite number of things to say and directions to take the conversation. If I had to advise a new guy about “what to say to girls”… and we could theoretically pick any place we want to start… I vote for LOGISTICS as the backbone of any specific structure in that guy’s stack.
When I approach girls on the street, I typically don’t know what I’m going to talk about. But there are PATTERNS that show up in my approaches. And one pattern is that I often probe the girls LOGISTICS for the meat of that first chat on the sidewalk.
My “stack,” if I have one… is based on LOGISTICS.
Choosing logistics is not arbitrary. Logistics give us important information about the “when” and “where” of how we might seduce the girl.
“Amateurs talk about tactics, but professionals study logistics.”
– Gen. Robert H. Barrow, USMC
For game, when we say “logistics” we’re talking mostly about the “when” and “where” of sex. This may sound non-intuitive, but for experienced guys, “who” is often less crucial to sex than “when” and “where.” In much the same way that a “perfect line” on an uninterested girl is useless, an “interested” girl that is unavailable is also useless.
We screen for logistics to help assess topline probabilities that we can get this girl in bed. Of course we are deeply interested in her looks and her personality, but we can address that at the same time while we map out when and where we might be able to fuck a given girl.
Here is an example:
NASH: I saw you walking by and I love your walk
NASH: My name is Nash
NASH: What’s your name?
HER: Hot Girl
NASH: Okay Hot Girl, nice to meet you
NASH: What are you doing in my city today?
Brilliant, right? That stack is sure-fire mPUA material, right?
No. Of course not.
This is super basic stuff, but this is exactly how I start out much of the time. We’ll do some examples with more flavor below, but that dialog above is close to a basic stack for me. And what I am saying is not arbitrary — particularly that last line.
Right away, I am digging into the probability of fucking her when I ask “what are you doing in my city.” You can customize this concept anyway you want (it’s a structure, not a script), but I’ll use examples like this to talk about why I think choosing logistics as a point of focus is a very smart move.
Let’s keep going:
HER: I am here on business
This ^ is a great example of the utility of a logistics-based stack.
I asked “why are you here” and she has told me she’s here on business. Right away I know she’s likely not here for long and that I’ll have to move fast if I want to make something happen with her. That’s good to know. I can now ask where she’s from (which I might), or better yet… keep it on logistics (where she is from is less relevant than other questions), and I can move onto:
NASH: Okay, cool.
NASH: You’re here for a conference or something?
HER: No. My boss and I flew in for a meeting with a client.
NASH: Oh, hit and run on my city, huh? [flirty smile]
NASH: How long will you be here?
HER: I leave on Saturday
I’m not trying to show too much style here (we’ll get to that in other examples later). I am focused on “when” and “where” in this example. I am showing you a flavor of “what to say,” but we are also screening her and looking for “openings” (credit: Swingcat) to make the seduction happen.
With those lines above, I have a good start on knowing how feasible this girl is for a date (and potentially for some profane nakedness). I know she’s with her boss, and that there is a decent chance she will have “business dinners” and possibly early meetings. All of this helps me decide how I might go about trying to get her out… or, if I want to bother at all. That is very good information, and because of my choice of structure I am getting that intel right away.
I am talking about the kinds of things I say to girls, and the structure of WHY I steer conversation in this direction… and I’m also showing you how I use what she is saying to help me take action post-set:
EX: The girl in this scenario told me she is here for business and leaves Saturday. If I open this girl on a Wednesday afternoon, and I have plans with friends on Thursday night, and a date on Friday, it’s going to be tough to date her. I can try a daytime date, perhaps. Or try to get her out that night (maybe after her dinner with her boss). Or I might end the set and let her go (which I do all the time), as I don’t have much time for a girl like this (this is screening, more on that below).
You can see how getting after these questions early helps me make good use of the time and helps plan how to game the girl.
I do a lot more than this, but this is the foundation. This is my basic structure.
I will anticipate a bit of debate here, and I want to address what guys like Krauser call “hairdresser questions:”
SOME GUY: But, I thought we weren’t supposed to ask the girl a bunch of questions?
True. We do tell beginners not to hammer the girl with retarded questions. Doing that is a way to “take value,” and that’s not charming.
Here is a reference to that concept:
— What are you doing today?
— Where are you from?
— What’s your name?
— Where do you come from?
— What are you doing now?
— What are you doing later?
From ^ Krauser’s book Beginner Daygame (no longer for sale, as far as I know).
Krauser is saying those kinds of questions suck, and yet here I am advising guys to consider exactly those lines for their stack. More than that, I am telling you I use exactly those kinds of questions in almost every set.
Yes, it’s true that peppering her with questions (particularly ones that lead to short answers) is not good game. But that doesn’t mean questions are off limits.
The way we can use questions and not bore ourselves to death, is to use them sparingly and to space them out.
We can also use ASSUMPTIONS, which are questions disguised as statements. The daygame.com guys used to teach “assumptive stacking” and that is good material.
QUESTION: Are you from America?
ASSUMPTION: You’re from America.
Framing that question as an assumption will likely get a similar answer, but doing that work in the form of an assumption can offer variety to your phrasing, and that might help keep things interesting for you and the girl.
So, yes… a few questions are fine, they’re natural. And you can toss in a couple of assumptions to mix it up. And you can add some “color” to anything you do to make it more fun/sexy.
QUESTION: You’re staying in London for the whole weekend?
FUN QUESTION: Are you here only for the weekend… or will you marry a local guy, have 15 kids and stay here forever?
That second “fun” version is still a question, it allows us to get after her logistics… but it’s not a boring “interview” or an interrogation.
We can ask our questions, keep them flirty and fun, mix in assumptions… and also use our eye contact and our body language to add a sexual vibe that can supplement the words.
This post is mostly about the WORDS, but the NONVERBALS are crucial to our value as players. The stack I’m offering is a framework, and we can “hang” the exact words, the funny stories, the crackling sexual energy on the framework as we probe her for details.
So… yeah questions can be fine. And if you’re boring the girl, it’s probably because you’re missing some of these other elements.
My game is a little different when I am travelling versus when I am here at home. In part, as I’m only abroad temporarily (so I don’t have as much time), but also because I tend to game harder when I am on a daygame trip. It was in Japan in 2017, and again this year, that I really felt my use of LOGISTICS.
And it also seems true that at the end of each trip (as I was super warmed up), I ran better game and used logistics even more. This is something I don’t have my head completely wrapped around yet, but it’s true… when I am running better, more aggressive, tighter game… I used logistics even more. It’s not intentional, but it’s a clear pattern I can see in my own game. When I have more abundance… I run logistics as a higher percentage of my stack.
Here is an example of the structure I used extensively in Japan:
NASH: Hey… do you speak English?
That ^ is my opening line, and is ALSO basic logistics. “Can we communicate?” That question is not (as) relevant here at home, but terribly relevant in a foreign land. Just that opening line is a great example of how using logistics can BOTH give you “something to say” (I never had to think about my opening line in Japan) AND begin to sort out the feasibility of the pickup (if her English is really terrible, it’s time to move on).
I dropped that line hundreds of times in Tokyo this winter (it was actually hard to stop saying it in my sets when I got home).
Let’s start over…
NASH: Hey… do you speak English?
HER: [she shakes her head ‘no’ and giggles]
NASH: Yes you do… [cocky, accusatory vibe]
HER: [huge grin]
Here ^ I start with the “logistical” question of “do we speak the same language,” and I am adding a little bit of “color” by arguing with her about her command of my language.
This is a good example of how I can start with a “hairdresser question” and still manage to have fun and tease her at the same time. When I say “yes you do,” that is playful dominance. And when done with a big grin, I am doing dead-simple logistics with my WORDS… and something closer to seduction with my NONVERBALS.
I am pointing to how a lot of players accomplish their objectives. This is “what they say to girls,” but it’s also how they combine words and nonverbals to show a lot of value and to lead the girl toward a situation where her clothes end up on the bedroom floor.
Here is more, and this shows how I might start to work a little bit of “STORY” into my stack.
NASH: I noticed you walking by…
NASH: And I thought to myself, “Yeah… really great walk”
NASH: [big, expressive body language]
NASH: I wanted to meet you
NASH: My name is Nash
What I’ve show you in this section of the post is almost exactly, word for word, my basic opening sequence for Japan (and not that different from what I say here at home). It’s the same outline as earlier in the post, but specific to Japan and with more color.
I haven’t gotten that deep into logistics yet, but I will. What I have done is stopped her, created a bit of a sexual vibe, explained why I stopped her, and told her who I am. That is addressing a lot of unknowns for her, very quickly. Notice it’s not all questions. I’ve started the charm… and… I’ve filled the first 30 seconds or so of my five minute “set.”
A lot of guys “run out of stuff to say,” which is to say, they can open… but can’t “fill the time” while they try to vibe with the girl. The art of vibing is beyond this post, but we’re setting up this structure as a way to “fill the time” with enough words to give us space to vibe. And we’re getting all that intel about her logistics along to the way.
Here is how I go on:
NASH: What’s your name?
NASH: [take her hand]
This is the first bit of compliance. It’s what the Mystery boys would call a “small hoop.” The first “small hoop” was getting her to stop. Now I’m asking her for something (her name) and it’s a small start towards compliance if she gives it to me. It begins the pattern of her giving me what I want. If she gives me her hand, that’s another hoop she’s jumped through… and we’re on our way.
Nothing too deep and mysterious… but we are answering the question “what do I say” and we’re doing it in a smart way.
Now we dive deeper into logistics:
NASH: Why are you in Tokyo today?
This is a great question ^, IMAO.
This might be my favorite question (in a practical sense) that I ask girls on the street. And it’s one I use almost every time I approach a girl. It’s very close to one of Krauser’s “hairdresser questions,” but I’ll make a case for why I use it so often.
Most of us run our game in big cities. Girls come into cities like Tokyo (for instance) for work, to shop, to get their hair cut, to see friends, etc. Her response to this question very quickly tells me a LOT about how easy/hard it will be to get her into my bedroom… which informs what I might say next.
HER: I just finished class…
HER: My boyfriend and I are going to dinner…
HER: I’m here for my friend’s wedding…
You see how that question helps guide my next response? I am standing in front of a cute girl, we’re chatting, I am filling time, but I am taking a lot of notes on her potential as a lead. And I’m using what she’s saying to help me move the conversation based on her responses and the overall vibe.
Let’s go with that last sample response from the girl for now:
HER: I’m here for my friend’s wedding…
NASH: Hmmm, cool…
NASH: You’re going to get to dress up, aren’t you?
NASH: All girls love to get dressed up
NASH: Will you wear a pretty dress?
This ^ is all color. It can’t all be logistics… and the “color” part is often the fun part of the pickup or where you’ll find the sexual sparkle in the set.
If you can imagine the look I give her when I ask if she’ll “wear a pretty dress,” that kind of nonverbal flair is also a part of a successful “stack.” I obviously didn’t plan to talk about weddings or girls in dresses when I approached, but when she answers “what are you doing in this city today,” that often gives me clear direction about where to take the conversation.
We’re showing an overall structure of “get after her logistics,” but also showing how that is a basic framework, and we can hang other bits of conversation off that framework relatively easily. Of course I didn’t know i would use that “all girls love to get dressed up” line in advance. It bubbled up in conversation… conversation that I was driving via questions about her logistics.
HER: Yeah… blah blah blah
NASH: Yeah… I can see you now…
NASH: You, pretty dress, fancy party, lots of flowers…
NASH: [flirty grin]
More color ^ here… it’s not a “job interview” and I want this to be fun (for me, as much as for the girl). But with some of that sprinkled in, I can now get back into logistics:
NASH: Cool… so the wedding is this weekend? You’ll be here for a few days?
HER: Yeah, it’s Sunday
NASH: Hmm. Cool.
Okay, we have more information here ^. Sunday… probably impossible to date her that day. Does that change how interested I am in her? It might. And that likely means Saturday night is also out. So, if I want to date this girl… it’s got to be Friday night, maybe Saturday day (unlikely), or after the wedding… if she’s still around.
Wondering if she’s going to be in town past the wedding sets up another “what to say” moment… we’ll come back to that.
Something I also do quite commonly is give her a little backstory about me. I am a shiny, amazing, seducer, but it helps to be a bit “grounded” as well. At home, but especially in Japan (where I am obviously gaijin), explaining a bit about my life helps make me more of a “real person.” This is comfort material.
NASH: Yeah… I’m visiting too
NASH: I am from California
NASH: I have been here for six weeks, and I have two weeks left in Tokyo
NASH: I love this place…
Here ^ is more good material for “what to say.” I’m “filling time”, yes. I am also letting her into my life a little. I am showing a bit of my backstory. I have given her a break from the “questions.” And I’ve set her up with a lot of “conversational hooks” she can ask about… if she’s interested in me.
HER: California?! Oh! I want to go to California!
HER: You are here on vacation?
NASH: Not really… I’m on a long stay, not really doing “tourist” things
NASH: I’m just “living” in Tokyo
NASH: My apartment is right over there a few blocks
We have some back/forth now. Nothing magical, but you don’t need that much “magic” to close a girl and set up a date. Sinn once said, “Daygame is a test of how normal you are.” This is an example of me being “normal” in the set.
Back to logistics:
NASH: You’re not from Tokyo…
HER: No, I’m from Osaka
NASH: Osaka, huh? I’ve never been.
NASH: So I’m guessing the wedding is this weekend, you’ll be here until Sunday, and maybe go back to Osaka next week?
HER: Yes… I will leave Wednesday morning
Okay, cool. I’ve opened. We’re chatting. I have successfully “filled the time,” showed a little bit of personality, and grounded the set. But with that last line, I have a key piece of information… I now know my window for the seduction (I have until Wednesday to get her out). Brilliant.
These logistical questions were a much better choice than prattling on about “weddings” for five minutes. By focusing on logistics… I have information I can use.
In my experience, logistical topics are much more useful to us than many other topics. We can get deeper into her personality if we have time, but these questions are setting up the dating scenario where that “get to know her” will take place. We’re showing leadership with all this and we’re being efficient with the time we have.
All this gives me a lot of detail I can use to help plan a chance to get her out. And notice… look how much time we have used up.
My questions have not only given me “something to say,” but I have learned a lot about her. If she’s here for a wedding, that is typically a less-than-on scenario for hooking up with random guys (at least guys that aren’t also in the wedding). She has “official plans” the day of the wedding, and probably unofficial plans with friends before/after. She might be staying at a friend’s house, or sharing a hotel (which means she’s less anonymous, as the people in her life might notice if she’s “out all night”). I’d obviously prefer she was “traveling alone,” but the realities of her logistics are good to know.
I built this interaction around a logistical framework, but it has been customized to the girl as well. And because I know a lot about her via those logistical questions, I also have a LOT to talk with her about via text message (I could talk about Osaka, for instance)… if it goes that far.
It is also very possible that the set has gone well… and there is some hope of getting together, even if she doesn’t have a lot of time. I know her logistics, so I can make effective offers. And she’s had a chance to see me being smooth, she has gotten a feel for how I flirt… and she might know what I’m doing (realizing I’m screening for hookup possibilities), and that might be a signal to her that I’m an “experienced man.”
My stack has allowed me to spend my time very well.
Now I’ll compare my recommendations to some notes Krauser suggests for guys in the beginner to intermediate stage:
“The big challenge on the opener, moving from beginner to intermediate, is to use the structure, but have your own creativity, so that your vibe is better (because every set is fresh…), that the girl very subtly realizes you’re being more authentic (you’re not just telling her what you tell every girl), and that because it’s specific to her she can connect… which makes her feel more invested in the interaction.”
— Krauser, Black Book
So based on Krauser’s notes, how is my logistical stack structure looking?
We are using a logistical stack as a framework, and haven’t tried to use a rote “script” (scripts won’t work). As it’s only a loose framework, we ARE able to customize the set to her. Maybe we know our opening line (in my Japan examples), and my tease about her speaking English is a bit scripted, but I quickly jump off into a normal conversational flow customized to her, why she is in that city, and what her logistics are. I’ve done even BETTER than that, as I add some comments about myself, sexualize things with my eye contact and body language, and mix in some “color” with some teases, etc.
Not bad. Not bad.
Here is a more “advanced” comment on why LOGISTICS can be a great way to structure your time on a the street with a girl:
A SIDE-EFFECT of this kind of structure is that you can position yourself as the “chooser,” if it’s clear through the vibe that you actually are using these questions to screen her.
If you need a girl that is available “tonight,” that means you’ll have to reject some YHT that doesn’t fit your timeline. If you spend an afternoon sorting through girls, with real logistical criteria that actually matter to you, you will end up rejecting a lot of girls… and rejecting girls that might have otherwise been somewhat interested in you. Actively screening and “rejecting” girls all afternoon will create a very different vibe than when you can “take it all” and run after every lead.
I could particularly feel myself doing this LOGISTICS-BASED STACK when I was running high volume game in Japan. The beauty of this kind of logistical SCREENING was very apparent to me as I was running out of time toward the end of my trip… I had a lot of dates booked (so I wasn’t too available), and I had less interest or patience in weaker leads or difficult logistics. All that “focus” from me is a form of me having specific standards each girl had to meet. Having standards you actually care about, and having that come out through your game on the street, can be a signal to the girl of you being genuinely “high value.”
The screening was not a “technique” in this case. It wasn’t being employed to get a reaction out of the girl… it was real, genuine screening, so it was congruent. And that behavior from me changed the power dynamic quite a bit. I was aggressively screening , girls had to meet my standards or they’d get rejected. I didn’t have to tell them that… everything about my conversational flow was hinting at that reality in those moments.
I was hyper choosey in those last few days in Japan (maybe the most choosey I have been in my whole life)… and it made my game much better. I am convinced the girls could tell.
If goal #1 is “what to say.” And goal #2 is “say things that help establish workable logistics.” Then goal #3 (which is more of a “side effect”) is “effectively screen the girl” for logistical compatibility. By focusing on logistics… I could accomplish all three of those goals at once. The logistics structure helped me find girls that could date on my timeline. But it ALSO made me the “chooser” as I screened.
Now we’ll go through it one last time…
This is based on a set I did in Tokyo this year that ended up as an “insta-pull” SDL, where I took the girl right off the street for an idate, and then walked her home. I haven’t written about this girl yet, but here is a roughly accurate version of what I said as an example of a stack with some logistics in it:
NASH: Hey… [big smile]
NASH: Do you speak English??
HER: Little… [smiling]
NASH: See?!! Your English is great. [more flirty looks]
HER: No, no, no!!!! [smiling]
NASH: Okay, okay…
NASH: I saw you walking by and you caught my eye…
NASH: You have great eye contact
NASH: I wanted to meet you…
NASH: I’m Nash
NASH: What is your name? [taking her hand]
HER: I’m HR Girl
NASH: Yeah, so I am from California…
NASH: Omotesando ni todomatte imasu [“I am staying in Omotesando”]
HER: Ouuu… good! You speak a little Japanese!!
NASH: No, no, no!!!! Only a little.
NASH: Although I have been practicing every day…
NASH: … and I have been here for several weeks
NASH: I love Omoteosando
NASH: In fact, my apartment is over that way, a few blocks
HER: Oh, yeah… I love this neighborhood too
NASH: Do you live in Tokyo?
HER: Yeah, I live in XYZ area
NASH: Why are you in Omotesando today?
HER: I came to get my nails done… [she shows me]
NASH: Ahhhh, lovely [I took her hand, examining her nails]
NASH: It’s a Saturday night in Tokyo, the biggest city in Japan…
NASH: You have your nails done, they look very girly…
NASH: And now?
NASH: You have big plans tonight? Drinks with friends?
HER: Uhh… not really [popping her big eyes at me, a little shy all of a sudden]
NASH: Oh. Me neither. [big smile… it’s on]
NASH: I met a friend this afternoon for a lunch date… but I don’t have plans tonight
NASH: I was thinking about going for a drink at a great place I know over there…
NASH: Come with me.
That’s basically what I said. We talked more on the way to the bar, but that was all I said to get her on the date… and after one drink I walked her to my apartment and fucked her.
She was definitely a “yes” girl, but very often seductions are “cooperative,” and we just need something basic to get the man-woman vibe going.
What is important in that stack was that: 1.) I approached, 2.) I had an opening line that was comfortable and relevant, 3.) I gave her some context for who I am, why I was in her city, 4.) I found out why she was in my neighborhood in Tokyo, and used that to stack further into the set, and then… the most important part… an innocuous but strategically logistical question:
NASH: It’s a Saturday night in Tokyo, the biggest city in Japan…
NASH: You have big plans tonight? Drinks with friends?
You can see I set it up with some pacing about “it’s Saturday night,” but it was asking about her logistics for “right now” that gave me a perfect opening. It was Saturday night, she had freshly done nails, but no plans… and here I was, a dangerous man ready to take her on an impromptu adventure. That’s a great “score” for a girl with nothing to do. And it was a pretty solid score for me too.
I could read into this a little more, and say that a relatively young girl with no plans on Saturday night is probably a certain “type.” She’s not a party girl. She’s not overly popular. She probably doesn’t have 1000 cool guys trying to get after her… all of that is more information that tells me she is ripe for an invitation from a capable and experienced man like me… and +1 daygame.
Okay, so there you have it.
You need to say SOMETHING to a girl. There are endless possibilities, but I’ve made my case for why LOGISTICS can offer a better than average structure for you to work around.
Logistics can provide a framework that will help you come up with something to keep the conversation flowing. And from there you can add “color” and body language and sexuality to spice up the interaction. Focusing on logistics is better than other more random topics, as it will feed you applicable information to help you close the girl.
And as a bonus… as you get better at this, your focus on her logistics can be a type of screening that will not only make you more efficient, but can put you in the position of “the chooser” (in your own head, if not also with the girl), and that can give you an edge in terms of the power dynamic with the girl.
Okay, that’s it. Now… go talk to girls.
As captain jack has pointed out, to get laid all you really need are two things: a willing girl (seduction) and a place (logistics). Might as well knock off one of the only two things that actually matter out the gate.
We know we’re doing it right if we’re screening her on 4 things:
Her looks (done pre-approach and confirmed on the open…but sometimes she does have one real lazy eye)
Her logistics as pointed out in this post
Your standards on personality characteristics (smart, open-minded, curious…). This is a paradox but I know it’s the right thing to do because it’s taken awhile to get past the feeling of “what if she says no”. If she says no she’s a no girl…simple as that.
This works on the principle that we all know to be true; she doesn’t know what she really wants (80% of guys don’t either BTW, don’t be in that crowd…have standards) OTHER than she knows she wants a guy who knows what he wants. Standards are a hallmark of a guy with options, and in a city where she’s been hit on by other dancing monkeys/puas/RSDers it will immediately set you apart. Having the balls to walk away if she isn’t, as Patrice O’Neal says, “selling what I’m buying”, will paradoxically, get us laid more often.
Screening, as pointed out in the post, is now “conversation” for me and it starts right after the hook. Tactically, doing the screen as a form of self-description is next level shit and allows you to do without the interrogation factor. Self-describe your standard, then let it hang out there…your attention drifting if she ain’t talking. Screen > Challenge (if weak 1 word answer) > Qualify > Relate > Screen > Qualify > Push/Pull > Relate. If she doesn’t qualify, especially when screening by self-description, she either can’t keep a conversation going or doesn’t want to keep it going with us. Neither of which bode well for our future together as lovers.
If we do all these things with some charisma adding a little push/pull seasoning..the phone number isn’t even an “ask” anymore
Formatting went to shit
Well said ^
I am very interested in what you’re doing with screening right now, man. I’m interested to watch you flesh that out.
Ha! BACKSTORY ON THIS ^:
A couple of weeks ago, YoungGuns, Sundance and I were out hunting. This very hot little blonde girl wanders by (I’m not that into white girls, but even I thought she was lovely). Sundance went after her, which was funny… as she looked closer to YoungGun’s type.
As Sundance is chasing her down, YoungGuns tells me that she had a “LAZY EYE.” Ha. A hot girl… with a lazy eye! One that points completely sideways vs the other.
So we are all standing around laughing as Sundance chases after her… we get to watch to see how it goes once he opens her up.
Hahahaha. Needless to say, Sundance didn’t try to take her number.
See. We have standards! : ]
[…] “What to say to girls | a structure for a daygame stack” is a good antidote to that last ramble post: nice and actionable. Very good especially for guys who are getting into the field or want a primer. […]
The girl from the last passage (SDL) where you say:
NASH: I saw you walking by and you caught my eye…
NASH: You have great eye contact
Did this girl flip you good eye contact as you walked past each other?
Good read, Factory. She did flash me an IOI before I stopped her… that’s why I stopped her.
It wasn’t “eye contact” per se, just a strong IOI (which is at or less than one second of actual eye contact), but that was what made me go in.
To be clear, I am not suggesting my WORDS got me laid there. I was on fire that day, my vibe was insane, I was messaging another girl (one with a BF) about coming out to meet me, I had a different girl in my bed that morning, I’d been gaming every day for a week, getting laid a lot… it was all that that got me laid. That… and me leading/esacalting properly.
The point of that example is how I went straight to LOGISTICS, asked the right question to discover she was available “now,” and then I led based on that info… and +1.
The “HAIRDRESSER QUESTIONS” is from [REDACTED]
I’ve heard that guy use it, but the source I quoted is correct… and that guy is persona non grata in my eyes.
Do you implement in any way the “stories” (as you wrote about here http://www.daysofgame.com/street_game/4-days-27-girls-working-stories/) in this type of opener/stack?
Yeah. I do some STORIES… but not as much as Krauser. That “story on the fly” thing is something that is particularly him. He is absolutely worth studying… his OUTLAW DAYGAME presentation is free on youtube and very good. And his DAYGAME OVERKILL is his paid product, and it’s excellent (tons of infield examples).
I read from him that Outlaw Daygame is incomplete. He just can’t find the time to upload the rest of it. Also the rest of the Daygame Infinite launch presentation.
According to him the freebie lovers on Youtube aren’t that worthwhile. However, that content is not fleshed out the same way in his products. So it’s useful to us also paying customers.
I hope he will post the rest of Outlaw Daygame and Daygame Infinite presentation on youtube someday soon.
Yeah. Krauser is playing to his niche, which is smart in terms of his personal economics.
With that said, Outlaw Daygame is one of my favorite talks on the topic. Super high value content. For guys that need a prompt before they invest further, it’s a great starting point.
And while we’re at it… Womanizer’s Bible (the free Youtube stuff) is excellent too. I get sucked back into that content all the time.
I was doing more “stories” early on when I was trying to figure out my own personal style.
Now instead of stories I sometimes do “CONTRAST” comments.
NASH: I saw you walking along…
NASH: With this lovely, all pink outfit… very girly
NASH: But you had a very serious look on your face
NASH: Your dress reminds me of a little girl, and you look is more like “CEO”
NASH: I love the CONTRAST… you caught my eye
This “contrast” formulation comes more naturally to me.
And I’m not saying any of this is “more effective.” Again, the WORDS are rarely the “effective” part. All this is a “skeleton” that we dress up with the nonverbals, etc.
One more comment here about Krauser…
Krauser does a lot to “PUT A GIRL IN A BOX.” And that is more than just “telling a story.” Very good game on his part.
Of course he would explain his own material better than I can, but I think the basic formula is something like this:
— Notice something about her (EX: “rebel” fashion markers)
— Determine a “box” she fits in (“the rebel”)
— Accuse her of being in a DIFFERENT BOX (“typical mainstream girl”)
— Let her try to talk herself out of that box
EX: A girl with multicolored hair, tats, and a rock tshirt
KRAUSER: Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop
KRAUSER: I see your hair, your ink, your shirt…
KRAUSER: That is quite a look
KRAUSER: So you’re a typical, nice, Serbian girl, huh?
HER: No, no, no!!!
KRAUSER: Yes, of course you are.
KRAUSER: I was sure your shirt was Taylor Swift until I got closer
KRAUSER: You look quite shy… and I’m guessing, very RELIGIOUS!
HER: No, no, no!!! LOL
That is overly simple, and I am making all this ^ up, but it’s roughly in the style of Krauser.
And the MECHANISM is very good… he is “noticing,” categorizing her, and then deliberately fucking with her by MIS-categorizing her with his words.
This ^ would give you something to say, but it has an underlying mechanism that might make the girl start to yammer as she tries to get out of the box Krauser has put her in. It has a “big brother, little sister” quality to it. Good banter material. Well done.
I would add that RSD Julien has a line I love: “Be at the cause, not at the effect.” And when Krauser puts her in a box, he is “at the cause” of the interaction, and she is “at the effect” as she tries to squirm out of that misinterpretation of her image. When you are at the effect of someone, a SIDE EFFECT is that that person is likely “high value” (or why would you let them run you around?).
This is all somewhat advanced stuff. It’s very good in my opinion.
One could theoretically mix the level of game Krauser is running here with LOGISTICS… let her explain how she is NOT “typical” or “nice” for a bit. Then, cut that thread, as she is somewhat invested at that point. Move on to logistics and other gambits.
[…] (If you’re a novice guy and want more detail on approach, see this.) […]
Nice thoughts man, definitely a good plan of attack there. Day game is always tricky, gotta keep that conversation going. By the way love the blog just found it and will definitely be back
This is an absolutely brilliant article. Have shared. Keep up the good work Nashmeister! I was worried when it started it all sounded a bit like a job interview, and then you deal with that perfectly.
My wing Sundance hates the idea of this stack because of the potential of it being “boring.” But he also knows I am “colorful” and “emotional” and all that. So this is really a “framework.” And you can “paint it any color” you want. It gives you a structure, “something to do.” A very functional structure (that solves a lot of problems). It moves you “forward.” And from there, you can make it “sexy” as you get the work done.
These kinds of logistical questions have – I am sure – helped get me laid many times.
Appreciate it. Thanks again.
This really is an excellent structure for beginners like me… I need to return to this regularly, take notes, practice in the shower, drive the base layer into my brain so it’s easy to slide into during a set. I think I’ve read it at least 2-3 times before this, but it’s a “use it or lose it” kind of knowledge.
The beauty of it is, there are so many extra complexities one can add in once the base is solidly built and practiced; this seems versatile enough to work in most situations.
Hey, glad it’s useful.
Lots of guys will say “don’t ask questions.” I know what those “lotsa lame questions – short responses” sets feel like, and that is not what I am driving at here.
Logistics can help fill in the space (so the whole thing doesn’t feel too quick), but often reveal details that can help you plan… or realize this set is going nowhere.
That’s how I see it. Logistics were/are more a little more important if you’re traveling, or she is. But…
ME: You’re a college student, huh?
ME: Do you live in Tokyo?
ME: With your family? Or in a dorm?
HER: I have my own apartment…
It’s not everything, but I have a better sense of how to Game her. If she is 19 and lives at home she probably has to answer for where she is at night. If she lives on her own… no so much.
I met a girl on Saturday… but she was here for her brother’s wedding, and usually at school a few hours a way. So I took her number, and then DIDN’T message her… she’s in a wedding, not a good time to capture her attention. I put a note on my calendar to ping her before her summer holiday starts (which is not that far away) – play it as a long lead. And I pinged her tonight… knowing she is back at school now, has more time, and I won’t sit in her phone while she has the wedding to occupy her.
Not saying it’ll go anywhere… but I can be more smooth… because I know her logistics. In some cases, the girl will notice how smooth you are… and you get “bonus” points.