It started like this: August is White Girl Month. Except, I had some kind of goal and I didn’t hit it before I had to leave for Japan that month. So I re-committed for last month and it became: October is White Girl Month. My commitment was to approach 20 white girls via this art we call #daygame… and I did it. Actually… I talked to 23 whitey-white girls in October. In the driest way – “Mission Accomplish.” There were no love connections (not even close). And yet, there was some value for me in this experiment.
For some of the Days of Game in October, I was genuinely excited to “talk to some white girls.” But a lot of the time, it felt like work… and it kept me from things I might have otherwise done that could have been more fruitful.
So “Why?,” you say:
Are u actually attracted to white girls? If not, why even bother?
— daygame WORKS!!! (@daygamerules) October 31, 2019
Here is the deal:
I almost exclusively talk to Asian girls. And I do that because I am much more attracted to them than other girls. It’s not that I am never attracted to white girls, it’s that it’s harder for me to get into them. And often when I realize how good looking a particular white girl is, my thought is, “Ahhhh, my wing would love her.” I can appreciate them, quite often, like fine art… but I rarely “feel” it for them.
The last white girl I dated was years ago. Now that I have some measure of choice… … now that I have enough experience to know what I want… the girls I want to meet are the Asian girls. So that is what I mostly do.
And yet I am curious:
Will I ever date another white girl again? What would it be like to have a white girl naked in my bed? What would it be like to spread a white girl’s thighs and eat some white girl pussy for the first time in at least five years?? I don’t know (I still don’t know). And the curious part of me wanted an answer.
I often pay mention to the Daygame Gods. I like to think of them – all of them, the spiteful ones and the generous ones – lording over us daygamers… doling out wins and losses based on their whims. If I tried to tempt the whimsy of the Gods, by intentionally putting myself in front of a bunch of pale beauties… if I gave it a proper effort… could I surprise myself?
Well, I hit my goal. And it wasn’t exactly a great experience, but I explored my own desire and trends a little more. And I came away with a new view of the potential of white girls.
As I queued this project up for October I got a late start… didn’t kick it off until Oct10. But there was enough time to hit my commitment. And it all started like this:
“1. Bubble gum. Sundance saw me just as I was approaching… Told me later he couldn’t figure out why I was talking to her. [I never talk to white girls.] Cute, nice body, and… died hair, nose ring, blah blah. Took the compliment, ready to reject me… I was solid, she hung there… I could tell she wasn’t into it so I let her go early, she looked surprised and turned back and said, ‘Great to meet you, Nash.'”
She was cute. I loved that she was chewing gum and blowing bubbles. I liked her too… despite the “degenerate starter kit” of how she decorates herself.
The nose ring. I almost forgot to make this a feature of this post… for me, the nose ring is symbolic of how I feel about white girls in the US.
I could say a little more:
Part of my deal with white girls is that they subscribe heavily to post-modern Western bullshit. There are surface-level, aesthetic reasons why I think Asian girls are more attractive than white girls… but part of my aversion to “white girls” is an aversion to modern Western culture. The nose ring… is emblematic of all that.
So: Nose ring… check. Pink, short hair… check. (Only yoga pants could have made it less likely for me to put any heart into it.) All this is what I see, so often, when I see white girls in my uber-lefty, “progressive,” West Coast city… and I’m not attracted to any of it.
And now… I’ll use this as an intro to an interlude from Swingcat.
While I was in Japan in August, Sundance hit me with a section of Swingcat’s product that he wanted me to consider. I could (and should) do a whole post just on the conversation between he and I on that topic, but for now I’ll sample out a line from Le ‘Swing:
“He has an idealized representation of what he is looking for in a woman. He has a hard rule that a woman matching his idealized representation means ‘charge forward.’ And a women mis-matching his idealized representation means ‘run.’ If he meets a woman who doesn’t match his idealized representation he will immediately eliminate her as a potential mate, even if she is visually appealing to him. Notice the mindless rule he’s following.”
— Swingcat, from Masculine Polarity
Sundance wanted me to hear that, because he thinks I do this with many girls – including the fair-skinned ones. He thinks my Asian-girl focus means when I see a nerdy, introverted Asian girl my game can flow. But the equivalent white girl wouldn’t get a look… as I “rule” her out based on ancestry alone. That could be seen as a “mindless rule.” I get where he (and Swingcat) are coming from on that point.
This leads me to one of the best parts of this experiment for me…
Bubblegum girl had pink hair. And a fucking nose ring. Two strikes. (Three, if you count that she’s white). Earlier this year, no way I would have approached her. But given the challenge… I was open to it. I was happy to… even exited. This is already pointing to the value I saw in committing to this challenge.
Back to Swingcat:
“…notice the mindless rule he’s following. Mindless rules dull your external perception. This makes him oblivious to facets of her that could potentially turn him on. It leaves no room for her to please and impress him in surprising ways that could turn him on.”
Swingcat is saying something cool here. In that bit, he makes this more interesting, by pointing out that girls can be delicious in surprising ways. In my experience that is very true and I’m quick to agree on that vein of thinking. And I think this is part of how and why Sundance was pushing me here… to get me to “try”… and only then evaluate if any of those girls had any potential to “please me.”
All that is all valid. And that is why I was willing to do the challenge at all. That is precisely the point.
Bubble gum girl was pretty cute (under the ugly Western symbology). We didn’t hook on each other… but perhaps, with an open mind, the next “bubbly” one might have.
Fair point, Sundance.
Back to the girls:
“2. Big glasses. Maybe a little IOI? Wasn’t sure about me, took the compliment. She wanted to blow me out, but I was too polite/solid. So she slowed down, shook my hand, then said she had to catch the bus.”
She wanted to blow me, but wouldn’t based on a combination of gravity and the fact that I am a “real” guy. As I passed some level of test… she came back and shook my hand. It was a masculine gesture, actually. It was a confession of “fair play,” like a business deal. It wasn’t feminine. And that is what I expect from Western women. She “bro’d out” with me a little…
…but I am being prejudiced again.
“3. Flash of eyes in the Mall. I passed her, went back, she took out her headphones and said, ‘Now is really not the time…’ Trailed off and split. Fake lips. Terrible.”
I would never open a girl like this, but… there was that big look from her. And I was trying not to have “mindless rules.” Following Swingcat’s lead, I was trying not to prejudge these girls. I was “open” to her, but…
She was bitchy and self-important. So much makeup. Those bulging, fake “Instagram” lips. She really WAS terrible. One girl does not a pattern make… but… this is what I think of white American women.
“4. Nice eyes, creamy skin… Not my type, but I wanted to hit my quota for the day. She didn’t like it. It was awkward… more on her part than on mine.”
I was trying… but in romance, “trying” isn’t always a good thing.
Here is another interlude, this time from Brian Begin of Fearless Man.
“If you’re doing [approaches] from ‘have to’/’need to’ you’re not going to get much results. From ‘want to’ you’ll get some results. From ‘choice’ you’ll get a lot of results. It’s all an energetic difference.”
— Brian Begin
It is a coincidence, but I heard these lines in early November as I was in the middle of working on this post.
Brian nails one of the problems with this experiment when he says, “If you’re doing [approaches] from ‘have to’/’need to’ you’re not going to get much results.”
That is exactly what a lot of these approaches with the white girls were for me… they were about the commitment to my goal as much as the desire for the girls. That is not ideal.
I wouldn’t approach just any girl. She (mostly) had to be “my type” enough that I could imagine enjoying making out with her… but it was still more about the commitment than passion for me a lot of the time.
Maybe the white girls could feel this lack of passion in me… and it made the experiment less productive? Or futile?
We’ll come back to Brian when we wrap up this post.
More white girls:
“5. Colorful stripped shirt, great little body, ran past me. I opened, she looked over, waved me off in a pretty bitchy way. She was cute though.”
This girl was really beautiful, actually. A solid “8” for someone else. Sundance would have approved… this is exactly the type of girl he might like, but I never open. Very attractive white girl.
“6. Long curly hair, conservative dress, beautiful eyes. Also moving very fast, caught up with her across the street… eye contact and then blowout. Two secs later… a ratty, homeless guy cat called her. I felt bad to be a part of all that.”
This ^ one was totally my type… very beautiful little thing.
One issue I had (and still have) with this experiment is the notion of “opportunity cost.”
“Opportunity costs represent the benefits an individual… misses out on when choosing one alternative over another.”
This was a real factor in October for me:
By being dedicated to finding and talking to white girls, I paid less time and attention to the girls I prefer… the Asian ones. And so… I was out a lot, I talked to a lot of girls, but the “opportunity cost” of opening up to white girls was that I talked to about 1/2 as many Asian girls in October as I would might have.
The time I gave the white girls represented a type of loss in terms of time that could have been spent with cute Chinese art students, etc.
“The experiment is doing what I thought it would… distracting me from the girls I like.”
— From my notes
It’s true. I was out a lot and had very little to show for it. Trying to hit my goal meant I had less bandwidth for the girls that make up the mainstay of my more standard pursuit.
There is an opportunity cost to endless experimentation.
Some more notes from the girls:
“7. Little. Blue ‘clown pants.’ I liked her. But it was a super weak stop and she never even made eye contact.”
“8. Tall, nice shiny eyes. Little bit of an IOI. As I approached she said, ‘what’s up’ and covered up. I opened with, ‘Have we met before?’ She said no, laughed, dropped her eyes and walked off… I think she liked it.”
She did like it… and I do know her from somewhere, but I can’t guess where. I liked her too. Pretty cute.
“9. Tall, bright blue eyes, proud walk. Stopped nice, but drifted. I planted my feel, no chasing. She softened, but smiled and split. Hot girl.”
There’s three more that day.
“10. Redhead. Nice body, didn’t like her face up close. White girls have way more facial hair than Asian girls – true. Decent chat. But then she’d had enough, ran off. Good.”
Redhead… I opened her for Mr V. He likes the fire-crotch girls.
“11. Nerdy, fair, girly… bouncing along, nice tits. Good stop, she took it, nodded, agreed, rolled off.”
“12. Blazing hot eyes. That is how I opened her. French. Barely any English. Some random girl was watching us the whole time… Kind of white knighting, but from a distance. I asked the French girl if she knew her… She did not. French girl ran off… White Knight Girl said something to her.”
Three more again.
“Kristy. Taiwanese, graphic designer. Great style. Line close.”
— From my notes
Man, I really, really liked this girl. Her energy was so refreshing after all the “meh game” with the whities. We had a great set. And I took her number. And she was what “Game” feels like to me… and it was radical to get some warm, Asian girl energy to wash away the feeling of the “work” of the experiment.
I took several numbers in this period… all from Asian girls like Kristy.
Speaking of my bond with Asian girls, let’s add this to the mix of this post:
“How shiny you are, that’s just going to depend. Some girls are just going to like you. Slavic girls like me. Mediterranean girls don’t give a fuck. I don’t do very well with Italians or Spanish, I do great with Russians and Ukrainians.”
— Krauser, from Outlaw Daygame
Hmmm. I am conflicted on that quote from Krauser.
On the one hand, one of the most “Nash” things I have to say is that “countries don’t have personalities.” This is true. The girl’s psychology is personal. For instance, there are introverts and extroverts in every country – that distinction will give you more clues about how to game a girl than where she is from. There is no “magic dirt” that controls the behavioral patterns of girls – the same patch of dirt will produce completely different psychologies. I believe all that to my core. But…
One the other hand… I, myself, am definitely saying, “I don’t really click with white girls” much. And here, you can spin my lines back at me… and say “skin color doesn’t drive psychology.” And I’m nearly obliged to agree. Touché.
In reality… I think the big deal is that white girls don’t excite me. Who cares why. It really doesn’t matter “why.” It’s harder for me to have the “glow” when I approach a girl I’m not that excited about. It’s more about “have to” than “want to.” So the sets are weaker. They don’t hook as often. So… no numbers, no dates. Negative reference experiences. Who could look forward to that? And the cycle propagates itself.
In contrast, the Taiwanese girl really “called out” to me. I was eager to talk to her. I probably had more “glow” when I stopped her. And the set was better. It was much more “on.” I took her number. It felt good.
One clear conclusion from last month’s work: Assuming you’re being effective… do what “feels good.” Your game will be better when it feels good. Mostly, that is true.
More from October:
“13. Super hot girl, a little short, but maybe an 8. Tried to walk past me but I was pretty committed. Stopped. Perfect skin, beautiful face, perfect features… But in a dry way. Brushed me off after a minute.”
“14. End of the night… I opened her with, ‘Potato chips and… red lipstick. I love it.’ I noticed her wedding ring only after I opened. She wasn’t sure how far I would take it. I planted my feet, but I had seen the ring so I had disengaged a bit… She was surprised I backed off… She was apologizing and explaining herself as she drifted away from me. I smiled and waved at her as she walked off. She smiled back in a very pretty way.”
This ^ was one of my favorite sets of the month, actually. I did like her. Truly. And that opening line was so situational and easy to deliver… of course it wasn’t about the potato chips.
That set was a little bit of evidence that I could be into some specific white girls. Good experience for me.
Back to work:
“15. Nice eyes, felt like an IOI. Cold and indifferent as I approached… Only girl all day that didn’t stop.”
And here, was a standout set from a couple days later, because… Jordan liked me. I remember the set well:
“16. Jordan… Shook my hand three times. She liked me… Could have taken her number.”
My basic criteria for deciding if I want to open a girl or not is: “would I kiss her?” If “yes,” then open. If “nahhhh,” don’t.
In Jordan’s case, she wasn’t exactly my type… but I was like, “ehh, maybe.” I stopped her, and she had what I call the typical American “irritated” quality about her (she wasn’t exactly happy to be stopped), but she looked up… and I planted my feet (like I always do), and I could see her getting a bit curious, so when I said “my name is Nash,” she came back up the sidewalk and shook my hand. I said a few more things… the vibe was not terrible, but a bit awkward. It wasn’t flowing, but… I think she just liked me. After a while, I let her go… and somehow she managed to shake my hand two more times before she left.
That girl did liked me. I definitely could have taken her number, but I really wasn’t into it or the interaction… even if she was curious about me.
She was one of the best sets of the experiment. Maybe I fucked with the Daygame God’s plan by not trying harder to fuck Jordan. Was it “self sabotage?” I don’t think so. I just wasn’t that interested.
“17. Young, simple, cute. Charity person stopped her as I was approaching… I waited him out… for a long time… approached when they were done, but she wasn’t having it. Waived me off quickly.”
One more time for the backrow: Fuck the charity chuggers.
“18. Exotic blonde, hazel eyes. Stopped, wasn’t sure, but then took it well. Kind of boring. Long chat. Just moved here. Terrible hands. I let her go.”
This girl also liked me. But I liked her more… before she started talking.
This girl, like a lot of the white girls I approached looked European (that’s why I approached her), but wasn’t (which was part of why I think I was disinterested). She was an okay girl, but even if she had been Asian, I wouldn’t have liked her (for the same reasons). When I saw the bad tattoo on her wrist, I was done.
I had “soft interested” from her… she would have given me her number. But I didn’t bother to try to take it. Just not interested.
Compare her to this:
“Just after that last set I walked past this objectively ‘average’ Asian girl, but with cute lips, straight black hair, great skin, all wrapped up in a sweater… ‘That is what I want,’ I told myself.”
— From my notes
The contrast between my passion for even “average” Asian girls versus some of the “hot” White girls I talked to was more and more obvious. I just like Asian girls so much more. This is a feature, not a bug, in my Game.
“Opened an Asian girl. I used the ‘cute glasses’ line. Didn’t stop… But she giggled, and ‘bubbled’ in a completely refreshing way. I never felt that with any of the white girls… I failed to inspire that in them.”
— From my notes
I would eventually feel that vibe from one of these girls (more below)… but it was much less common with the pale ones.
“19. Brunette, business-y. Gave me a big look and walked off. Followed her into a hotel… she held the door for me to follow. Told her I came in to say hello and that she had amazing eyes… Stone cold blowout. Wow. Great eyes though.”
That was a completely vicious blowout, BTW. She put a lot of energy into hating me in that moment. In my notes, I added, “I feel like I had all the paint scraped off of me from that one.”
Harsh. It can be like that sometimes.
So at this point in the month… I was at “19 White Girls” in October… and I had two days left. I knew I would hit my goal… and that was a relief as the goal was important to me. When I make a promise to myself… I like to keep it.
One girl left…
“20. Great eyes. Euro style. Stopped. Laughed after the compliment, said sorry – with a smile – and rolled off.”
And that… is #20! It was a big relief, actually.
And as I hit my goal… my motivation changed from “have to” to “want to” – and I could feel it immediately. There is a solid lesson there… about girls… and life, in general.
I wanted to make sure there was no doubt about me hitting my goal and trying to make this experiment as real and sincere as I could, given my many limitations…
So I kept going.
“21. Red coat beautiful skin. Jewish girl, I bet. Thanked me, walked off.”
— Oct 30
There was #21. I was a little lazy about that set, I could that done better with her.
Then, just to magnify the patterns of my month:
“Right after, cute Taiwanese girl. Blushed. Stopped. Little chat. Amazing.”
— From my notes
Did I bring more into the set with the Taiwanese girl? Probably. When you like her, you can bring more energy and passion and “truth” to your approach… of course it works better.
“22. IOI, nice eyes, red straight hair, great ass. She loved it. Blushed on the open. British accent. Said she had to go but didn’t leave… Started to ask for her number and she laughed and blushed (again) and said she had a BF. Great set.”
That was (by far) the best set of the whole experiment (August and October combined) in terms of reactions from a white girl. And it was so very good indeed… so much so… it basically felt to me like a good set with an Asian girl. She was very feminine. And I am certain that if she didn’t have a boyfriend… she would have given me her number. She was a girl I could date… we seemed to have had some real chemistry.
22 girls (not counting the girls from August) and I had finally found one where it landed for both of us.
“23. A little bubbly, nice curls. Said ‘hey.’ Took the compliment and walked off.”
There was #23. I took Oct31 off (I don’t like daygame on Halloween). And… the experiment was complete.
23 girls toward a 20 girl goal. 23 white girls in October. And another seven from August. 30 girls in all… and I never went on a single date with any of them… I didn’t even take a number.
In terms of a payout of intimacy and flesh… it was a failure. More “wasted effort” to add to the collection. But I had met my commitment. And I had learned some things as well.
Earlier in this post I included that quote from Brian Begin of Fearless Man.
“If you’re doing [approaches] from ‘have to’/’need to’ you’re not going to get much results…”
— Brian Begin
A moment later in that talk, he continues, modelling a guy that is doing things for futile reasons:
“‘I don’t want to do these approaches… I’ll just go get them done.'”
Did I have this ^ attitude (at least some of the time) during the experiment?
Yes. I did. I wanted to see if there was any potential in the process, but once I had started, I wanted to hit my commitment. Sometimes that felt like “want to.” But at least some of the time it felt like “have to” – and that is not going to work very often. If you’re a beginner reading this… think about that for a second.
“‘I don’t want to these approaches… I’ll just go get them done.’ You’re not going to grow there at all.”
— Brian Begin
“You’re not going to grow there at all.” Ahhh… was it all a waste of time? Some of it was.
Maybe a better questions is: Did this experiment have any chance of success at all? Well… when I was in what Brian calls a “have to” state of mind (which I was, at least part of the time), the answer was “not really.”
I don’t beat myself up too much about all this.
Guys in Game famously over-estimate their ability to correctly diagnose and analyze what is really happening at the level of the guy, the girl, and the context of their connection. In that sense, the effort we expend is fine (required, even), but our “experiments” are almost always childishly naïve… they’re not scientific, because most of this “Game” of men dancing with women is a whirl of unknowns.
“The problem with science is the frame of spirit that it puts the acolyte in: It makes him think he has power over the processes of nature which are at present actually very poorly understood.”
— Bronze Age Pervert, from Bronze Age Mindset
He isn’t talking about Game, but BAP nails something very true in that line.
Most of life (and certainly seduction) is an art… not a science.
And in that sense, a better way of viewing my efforts with the white girls in October is to call it “an exploration” rather than a proper “experiment.” “Exploration” allows room for me to honest about the imperfect and personal aspects of the theory behind last month’s approaches. And feeling it as an exploration relieves me of having to bullshit myself that I was “science-y” about it.
With that settled, I can review my notes in this post and point to areas where I DID convince myself of some things. The science may be have been infirm, but there was an impact.
For instance: Girl #16 in October (“Jordan”), she liked me… and I could feel the potential of at least a date there. And girl #18 from Oct28, the exotic girl (that wasn’t that exotic)… she wasn’t all that great, but she had really hooked (in her melancholy, unhappy way) and I might have dated her too.
And certainly girl #22 from Oct30, the British girl with the boyfriend… she was a kind of “success”… she loved it. And making a white girl “love it” was a kind of breakthrough. It was fun to play with her on the sidewalk for those moments.
Maybe most of all, girl #14 from Oct18, the “potato chips and lipstick” girl… wow, great set. It’s been weeks and I can still feel her. I was alive as I approached that girl and the set had the flavor of the my earlier days as a beginner. I really did like her. She, alone, was a (very positive) reference experience that kind of made white girls relevant for me again.
Taking another look at Swingcat’s quote:
“If he meets a woman who doesn’t match his idealized representation he will immediately eliminate her as a potential mate, even if she is visually appealing to him. Notice the mindless rule he’s following.”
— Swingcat, from Masculine Polarity
Girls like Potato Chip Girl were helping me to drop my mindless rules. And that is a victory.
And while I know that I have not become any more attractive to white girls, the range of girls that I ping off of, the girls I notice, the girls that enter my consciousness, has widened to include many more white girls. That is me taking the blinders off as I drop aspects of a “mindless rule” I had about white women. It’s two weeks into November and some aspect of my interest in white girls remains active and alive despite the fact that the experiment is over.
So, yeah… the experiment produced no fruit, but it taught me some things all the same.
I am still very much into Asian women. That is where I want to lay my hands and heart… they represent the version of femininity I want to push my cock into. But White Girl Month DID wake me up to white girls, and I am more likely to include some special white girls in that place now… like the femmy redheaded British girl that blushed or Potato Chips Girl. I can “feel” all that now.
“When you get into choice the energy gets the lightest and you get the most results.”
— Brian Begin
My experiment is over so it’s not “have to” for me and those white girls anymore. When it happens, it’ll be “choose” to, and that is lighter… and I bet I will get better results when I come from that place.
I am 46 years old. 7000+ approaches into my study of Game. Lots of failure and lots of successes…
But the approaching is still teaching me things. I love it. I love girls. I love the way they can inspire us and lead us into inquiry and growth. What a great adventure.
So my final conclusion… after all that… is this… and it’s a little bit obvious… I know… you all know what’s coming… but I’ll spell it out for clarity’s sake:
Why didn’t any magic happen for me and the white girls I approach this summer??
Because: All white girls are lesbians. Of course. Everyone knows this.