365 days later I am in the same coffee place as last year, and again, I want write about “Big Things.” I want to talk about Game, and Girls, and Goals.
To get started I will dive into my own 2020 “stats.” I’ll do that, while keeping my eye on my aim of making this essay about larger themes. Specifically, I want to show that Game gets you laid, but more than that, leads to growth. Even something as “locker room” as a hunger for more pussy can propel men, almost by accident (but inevitably) toward higher aims.
“This is what everyone I’ve ever known has done.”
We’ll see what Braddock means below…
To begin I’ll share my rather humble year-end numbers.
Stats: I fucked three new girls in 2020. That is “3” – as in, a little bit better than “2,” but not much better.
How do I feel about that? I think that is a low number. For a normal guy, that could be a glorious pace. But for a “seasoned player” in a normal year… it’s hard
to build a reputation learn at that rate.
But it wasn’t a normal year, and I’ve got a handful of reasons why I feel good about my Game in 2020:
I took all three girls from the street to my bedroom via cold approach daygame. Cold approach is not the main skill I am interested in these days, but it is a fundamental skill and one I intend to maintain. “Check, check, check” – all the girls met that standard. I had a new lay in January, September, and November. Getting girls to spread their thighs is one (major) display of “compliance,” and in 2020 I proved that I am an active daygamer, with recent, relevant, demonstrable skills.
And by the “Younger, Hotter, Tighter” (YHT) standard (credit: GreatBooksForMen), it was a high-quality year. Being able to seduce girls that are young, hot, and tight (tight meaning “chaste”) is a credible way to make sure you’re not delusional about your level of skill. In my case, I am a 47 year old man and my new lays were 28, 23, and 23 years old. From a handful of other dates, I made out with an 18 year old and another young-20s girl. Not bad.
Taking the idea of quality beyond YHT: I had ongoing sex with all three of the girls I closed. No “one night stands,” only “recurring revenue,” which also says something about my Game (they all came back again and again).
And taking the notion of “quality” further still, in two of the cases, the sex was fantastic. Even if it was with fewer girls, I had more (and better) sex this year than most years in my life.
Yet another reason why I am happy with my stats is that I didn’t work that hard and I ended up with a lot of great experiences. I don’t emphasize “efficiency” in Game, but in this case…
I approached ~200 girls this year (shockingly low for me). 20 girls total in January (Miss Happy was actually the first girl of the year). In the Summer (my achy “daygame restart”), I talked to exactly 136 girls to get my 2nd lay. Then, this Fall, 50 more girls to close Miss Words. 20 + 136 + 50 = 206 approaches and three lays. 1:67, approach-to-lay ratio. Low volume, but solid stats.
Even as my volume was low, I learned a lot about sex and girls and female psychology and masculine leadership… and that makes this a valuable years in terms of “quality”, even as my “notch hyena” whines in disapproval.
And there is one last reason why I can say I found 2020 quite satisfying despite the challenges:
Girls were not even a goal this year.
I want (and perhaps need) girls in my life. True. And when I needed to show some effort this past year, I did the work a man needs to do to bring women into his life. But “getting girls” is becoming less of a focus for me (even if I continue to practice more than most guys).
I have bigger fish to fry. And we’ll get to that. That is the point of the essay.
We have done a brief review of the Game, let’s talk about the Girls:
Miss Happy is a talented, smart, lovely girl, with a remarkable capacity for sex. We had months of deep, intimate, passionate, dark, “dominant,” beautiful sex. I fucked her “longer” and “harder” than any girl I’ve ever taken to bed (our average sexual session was two – three hours). I tied her up and did terrible things to her long, soft body. Beyond sex… she has been a great companion. And… with all that said:
“Her pleasure is in being chaotic and then getting straightened out by your clarity. She’ll resist it, and sabotage it, in order to feel that straightening out again. The thing that touches her, that turns her on, that makes her happy in intimacy, is the feeling of being straightened by you – not ‘sustaining the straightness.’ She wants to feel you straighten out that thing – not the issue, but her.”
— David Deida
I lived this ^ experience with Miss Happy over and over and it was one of the most important lessons I learned this year.
Miss Happy is classically “feminine” in the sense that she tests a lot. She was “wild” and “out of control” on many occasions. Deida does a great job of outlining this pattern in women, but Miss Happy made it real for me. I learned so much from that girl. She was my “girl of the year,” for certain.
The second lay this year was a young girl, a nurse. Cute, but not beautiful. She was something like a “yes girl.” First date, no struggle at all, after a drink, back to my place, naked, sex, no LMR.
I dated her four times. The third date was likely the best. She slept over, we made breakfast, we had a great time. But… sex with her was never any good at all. I can be interested in girls that need time or trust to open to sex, but with this girl it never got any better. She was “flat” in bed, and at times sex was too painful for her. On our last time in bed, I didn’t even finish trying to fuck her. She flinched, twice, and I gave up. She looked shocked when I quit, encouraging me to keep at it, told me she was “okay,” but… no thanks.
The most meaningful part my story with her was in trying to show her some care, trying to be graceful with her, during and after that “failed sex.” I knew I’d never ask her out again – and I never did. But I sent her a few messages, specifically so she wouldn’t feel “ghosted.” That experience was a +1… but no great tale to tell. It was a kind of surprise for me because I have very few stories like that.
And then… Miss Words. The seduction was “epic” in that it was complicated, but real, and rewarding, for both of us. I have known a lot of girls and she is a special one. In many ways, she is a “little girl” like all the rest. She regresses (often) to a childlike state when we’re together. And in others ways, she is a radically interesting, deeply (and darkly) artistic girl. She is “all pink” on the outside, but to talk with her is to feel the fire of her pretty, black heart. That is a weird description for a girl, but it’s accurate.
She is very much an ongoing story as I head into 2021… and I feel alive to even talk about her.
The Game was good this year. And the Girls, very good. I have fucked more girls in a year before (many times), but 2020 served up some great experiences.
We’ve done Game, and Girls, now we can talk about Goals – for last year, 2021, and beyond.
I have suggested that what starts out as wanting to “talk to some girl” or to “get laid” can lead to surprisingly “Big Things.” In the way that my first trips to chase skirt in Japan led to me moving here. Like that… and maybe even bigger.
It took work to get good with women, but now that I own those skills – the “getting better” has opened my eyes to my own potential. This is where I am going in this essay…
As men of Game, we traditionally do various things to improve ourselves and to become more value-rich men. As Brian Begin would say, “It is a lot of ‘1%’s.’ It’s this 1% and that 1%.” Some of my small “1%” gains in 2020 included:
One (more) year of intense study of Japanese under my belt (I am less terrible now). I started lifting two years ago and as of the end of December 2020 I was putting up “personal records” (in particular when it comes to pull-ups). I also had some breakthroughs in terms of what some people call “tantric” sex (more on that another time), and “fucking” is more wild for me (and the girls) than it has ever been. I read a lot this year, several books from game and beyond. And I did an eight-week online training with David Deida that has made me a better lover and a wiser, better man.
It was a bizarre year, ugly in many ways, but I made very good use of my time.
2020 wasn’t about “jaunts” and “approaches” and volume of Game and girls. It was a broader path of development that included everything above. And in particular… let’s talk about business for minute:
For me right now, business has become a metaphor and a model for some major changes I want to make in my life.
“Once I had my Game at a high point, I was like ‘I am unplugging for a while.’ It eats up a lot of time, it’s very distracting. Cold approach – if I wanted to do cold approach, I could do it. I unplugged, kept a little going (so I didn’t go insane), and went and got crazy about business and got my money right.”
It is about more than the money for me, but that ^ quote… that is where I am at. And it surprises me to be here, but again… it’s a sign of “Big Things.”
That quote is from a talk called “Intermediate to Advanced Game” (from LoveSystems). Back when I first heard it (maybe 2016?), as a Sigma and a cold approach daygamer, that wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I am sure I was looking for “better pickup lines” or whatever… but Braddock’s emphasis there rattled me.
I have played that quote back in my mind over and over since I first heard it. I looked up that talk again this year… so I could quote it in this post… and because I am ready to face the truth that Braddock was after when he said it.
What Braddock is saying in that talk is that “Advanced Game” (where “Game” is a metaphor for your life in general) is going beyond cold approach (beyond tactics entirely), into taking on a bigger role as a man.
The path I am on now is not “to get girls.” It’s not really about short-term, smash-and-grab wins of money or pussy. It’s about growing into a role of “one of the great men” of my time. A shift from “leadership” as an “attraction quality” or a skill for escalation, into a role of building up not only myself, but the people and opportunities around me. Being not only “great,” but a catalyst for greatness.
It’s “basic” and beginner to chase the rewards. It’s advanced to own the role that generates the rewards.
“Guys that have their shit together. They have their business together. They have really good game. He knows how to tease girls, he knows how to fuck their brains out. He knows how to dress. He works out. He is congruent from end to end. She has dated a guy like that. That guy lives that 24 hours a day.”
For many years I would have read that quote and thought, “yeah, I gotta be that guy to get those ‘high quality’ girls.” But now I feel like I need to be that guy because I am capable of all that.
“She has dated a guy like that” because girls always want to date the kind of guy does “Big Things.” And that guy doesn’t “do attraction” for a few hours on the street or at the bar on a Friday night… “that guy lives that 24 hours a day.”
He is out building toward a vision, doing what needs to be done. And when he makes all of that happen, he has proven that he owns that role. And from that position, the respect and reverence and rewards flow to him. Because he lives as a proper King. Because he has earned it.
I am still about cold approach and penetrating the lives of women, but I am shifting to a perspective where the girls themselves are a byproduct of a greater use of my life.
Braddock he says, “I went and got crazy about business.” And while I already have a decent income (as a consultant), that line had always bothered me a little… because I knew there was more I needed to be doing in “business” (where business is an entry point for taking my role and my life more seriously).
There is no preaching here. This is just where I am at… and I am trying to illustrate how it’s Game that brought me here.
So: This year (instead of approaching) I spent an incredible amount of time working on my
side hustles new business ventures.
Part of this has been a conscious shift away from “lone wolf” Sigma toward “leader of men” Alpha, as I worked in “teams” more than ever before. Teams I sourced and led. Where I scoped the project. I interviewed, screened, and hired. I directed the work. Some of the things I did failed, but I had some real successes as well. External success, where I accomplished some goal. But more so it was about internal successes in that I really blew-up those leadership skillsets.
I got a lot of “compliance” in the business world this year.
This is what I took from Braddock. It wasn’t “more money” (or “more pussy”), it was learning to govern as a King. As I shifted some energy from “girls” to “governing” I set up a small team that is successfully working on a real business right now. Barely, but it’s true. It is NOT profitable and I have exactly zero customers… but it’s the most sophisticated, “grown up” thing I have ever built. And that is a sign that I am the most sophisticated, “grown up” man I have ever been.
This is not the “destination” but it is emblematic of what I mean by “Big Things.”
So, that is where I am. As a natural Sigma, a cold approach guy, that “works alone” successfully, and has built tiny “two person kingdoms” (in seduction and in business), and I am trying to take on a bigger scope and assume more responsibility. I am trying to build a proper Kingdom as a path to setting myself up as a King.
If I can do this… build something big… employee some people… create some real solutions… satisfy some customers… all where I direct, but others do the real day-to-day work… I will have “leveled up.” And I am very much on my way.
So, it was an incredible year. I got laid. I led women interpersonally, but I had a bigger impact on the world than just that. And yeah, I am satisfied with those “stats.”
And if I can “level up” to these goals… maybe there will be more in the end than just some victory laps as the Bachelor King. Maybe I’ll leverage my skills and try to take on a larger role in my community, a legacy, perhaps a proper family. Take the ideas of “Big Things” from a business Patriarchy to a familial one.
Or maybe… I’ll run up a lot of new successes and parley all that into an even more righteous bachelor lifestyle, doing whatever I feel like doing with the newly earned power and resources (psychological, monetary, and social). Maybe that means I get some young girl pregnant with my baby. Or maybe, I continue to date and fuck YHT… not because it’s “normal,” but because nothing about my life, my track record, my path as a man has been “normal.”
“That cold approach feeling: Everything you built ‘tonight’ – gone. ‘I just keep starting over, this sucks.’ Yeah, there is a lot of work in what we are talking about here, but it pays major dividends. And for guys ready to break into that next level – this is the roadmap. This is what everyone I’ve ever known has done.”
“If you’re a beginner, go back and cold approach. But if you’re an Intermediate guy, you’re ready.”
— Nick Hass
Yeah, I am ready.
Chasing pussy becomes an impetus for mastery in not only sex, but fitness, finance, psychology, taking on responsibility, and more. We start out chasing pussy as if it were “gold.” And over time (while barely being conscious of it) we turn ourselves into gold. I see this in Braddock, but also in the latter chapters of men like Roosh and Krauser and Janka. If we’re moving… we move up. That is how it goes. Game has brought me to this point.
“This is what everyone I’ve ever known has done.”
Happy New Year, boys.