BadBoyPUA vs “Asking Permission”
I was listening to some video product from Badboy.
He’s talking at a seminar of some kind, and he brings a guy up from the audience. The guy plays “the girl,” and Badboy demonstrates what happens when you “ask permission:”
BadBoy: Hey, hey, would you like to go there and sit down?
Girl: Ahh, no.BadBoy: Can I kiss you?
Girl: Eh, no.BadBoy: Can I ask for dance?
Girl: Ehh, not now.BadBoy: Can we go there?
Girl: Uh uh.BadBoy: Can we go there?
Girl: No.BadBoy: Can I… *pfffft*… take you home???
Girl: No.
And then he breaks out of the role play and his conclusion is:
BadBoy: It’s always a “no.” So why do you ask??! *laughs* It’s useless. Stop asking for it. Always lead. Get used to it, so you stop asking for something.
We know this is right. But why?
I am very into the concept that 1.) Girls get a lot of sexual attention and various “offers” from men, 2.) If they said “Yes” to the offers, even to simple things like a smile, we know men with any game would quickly escalate to sex, and 3.) She’d be pregnant all the time.
With that said, a girls default has to be “no.” Right? She has to say no, out of sheer “womb management,” if not personal choice. And if she says no by default, she has the classic screen/test, which will weed out the offers w/ the weakest intent behind them. Which is good for her in term of “quality of suitor.” Only the strongest offers get past the default “no.”
So if you don’t want to end up in the default “no” slag pile, don’t ask, just lead. The blue pill world is pushing men to get explicit verbal consent, but players know that is the lamest game. Women roll there eyes at that game, all the time. You lead, as honorably as you can, but don’t ask. This isn’t a “verbal” game, when it comes to leading.
I still struggle a bit here, personally… from face-to-face to text messages, I still “ask” more than I should.
It’s the difference between “9 oclock?” and “9 oclock.” Simple. Don’t ask. He’s right.
I am thinking about how I often open during daygame…
ME: “Can I say something to you?”
To be honest, I rarely hear “no,” most girls stop… but this needs to go. Don’t ask, just lead. I’m going to focus on fixing this next time I’m in the field.
Heh, Bayboy told you first!
Haha… yes, you’re right.
Ironic, isn’t? I wrote this post, to try to help break me of the habit of “asking.” I wrote it in 2014.
I am still trying to break that habit.
And you, Yohami, are a regular reminder I still have work to do here. Thank you. I’ll get better this year… it’s gonna be a great year.
The difference is in the size of the ask and the motivation. Let’s not forget that people doing you small favors increases how much they like you, and gains compliance. I always open with a simple, innocuous, easy question because her responding ‘yes’ opens her to the rest of the delivery, the foot in the door. There is truth to the fact that if you’re asking for something that feels bigger (like something sexual and not a sure thing), you’re trying to make up for the gap between her desire and what you want, ie: your game did not land well enough with her to make her gag for it. When I’ve asked a question in this scenario, I’ve felt one of two ways 1) the question wasn’t really needed and wasn’t even really a question, it functioned more as a lead because I already knew she was properly turned on 2) it was a hail mary for a lukewarm pickup, which was 50/50. I think Badboy is using an extreme to correct behavior that is more prevalent in his audience. For guys who aren’t complete pushovers, I’d say a question for something sexual isn’t a bad idea if you’re already at the end of your arsenal – she might just appreciate your time you’ve put in to seduce her and reward you with something, even if she’s not 100% feeling you. On the same token, the bluepill world’s fantasy of ask for everything is absolutely fucking retarded, and encourages a lack of male confidence no doubt.
Hey man… this is an old post of mine, but one that still matters to me, and one where I can feel the “truth” of it on the street all the time.
>> I always open with a simple, innocuous, easy question because her responding ‘yes’ opens her to the rest of the delivery, the foot in the door.
I am agreeing with you here. In this case the “easy question” can be a moment for her to acclimate to you… the question almost isn’t the point.
>> Let’s not forget that people doing you small favors increases how much they like you, and gains compliance.
I feel like this “Cialdini” kind of influence is a bit too literal. And over played. It’s not wrong, but “masculine” thinking takes this as too much “A = B” kind of logic… it’s more of a rough guideline than that. Little compliance tests can be annoying, and we can see the “big ask” is coming and we’re ready to say no… we can burn what little compliance we have with these little asks (because we really don’t have much “value” in the first place, many times).
On the other hand, I’d reference Yohami and his concept of “the ramp.” Get her lubed up BEFORE you make a big ask. That’s a better lesson for me…
It’s not that the “little yes” increases compliance… it’s more than it makes her feel good (or that’s what I’d aim for). And once she feels good, THAT is the time to step up… immediately.
I just came from a men’s gathering… and they are hippies and they talk about “opening” a girl. So, the “little ask” can “open her,” and once she’s open, you can pour in compliance and/or your masculinity, and she’s more likely to take it.
I like ^ that. That’s “getting it,” as I see it.