Today is New Year’s Day. I have had a plan in mind for almost two years now… and that plan included sitting where I am sitting now, and writing a post something like this one. Right now, I am in a coffee place in major city in Japan. I have done this many times before, but this time… I’m not visiting. It still feels like an unbelievable thing… but I can tell you, my brothers, it’s official: I have moved to Japan.
I live here now. すごい.
Did I make this move to Japan for the girls? Not really. And I trust this plan more than I otherwise might because that is true. But… the girls are certainly part of it, so let’s start there.
“If there aren’t enough girls where you live… move to a better city.” **
— Paraphrased from some pickup guy
Many years ago, when I first got into game, I read that… and it sounded like such a ridiculous concept. I lived in my big city in California then (and up until a few days ago). It is a big city, with lots of girls… but it is a weird and (increasingly) dysfunctional city. If I could choose my favorite type of girls… and more of them… I could do a lot better.
But even if I lived in small town in the Midwest (for example), when I read that line about “moving to where the girls are,” it seemed so extreme. Just for better dating opportunities? Really? It was hard to imagine at the time.
Fast forward all these years and it makes perfect sense to me. Fuck yeah. If you’re going to work hard to get established (and it always takes work), why not work hard someplace where at the end of the day, there were lots of young, lovely girls to enjoy?
Does that seem like an immature goal? I don’t think so. Not at all. And all of this can put a man on a kind of trajectory that can lead him to success on a more traditional path. Game, I believe, is doing that for me.
Of all of the really crucial decisions a man can make in his life, getting in front quality women seems to be as valid as any other. It’s about fucking. Sure. And it’s also about bonding… even in relatively short-term ways, MLTRs, semi-casual (but also) meaningful “flings” (there is unreported depth in all of that).
Money and Mission are real for me too. But what if you made a ton of money and that is all you had? I want more than just that.
Game can deliver girls that go beyond the impact of money… if the man is willing to work for it.
And if he has enough women to first practice on, and then sift through, and then pull one (or many) from that pile. I am of the belief that to get good at Game you need a solid volume of opportunities. If you weren’t born into that kind of environment, we are back to the idea of figuring out how to move to such a place.
Here is this:
“I took John on the circuit and we must’ve been out five hours in the sunshine. Our sets hooked and we took numbers. It was very pleasant to just walk along the streets… Where every third girl was fuckable. I had six or seven numbers and John had a handful too.”
— Krauser, from Adventure Sex
I used that quote from Krauser when I wrote about my third trip to Japan (my first real, solid, daygame trip in
that this country). And for me… it’s true: In Japan, “every third girl” is fuckable. Certainly versus the increasingly filthy city I just left. But I am not here to complain about where I have been. I am here to lean into the opportunities of the future.
If I wanted a place where I could enthusiastically pursue girls, for me, Japan is it.
Of all the many places I’ve been, Japan is my “pussy paradise.” Not because it’s easier here (it’s not, my stats are about the same here vs back in California). I consistently argue that the geography doesn’t cause girls to have remarkably different personalities… what you found at home, you’ll find when you travel (and that is deeper than it sounds).
A man might consider two factors when choosing a place to try to make his mark as a Player: 1.) Does he like the physical aesthetics (the looks) of the girls in that place? And 2.) Are there enough of them. My new city is a solid yes for both criteria.
For example: This morning I had a little bit of business to do before I could settle down and write for a while. I found a Starbucks at a major hotel and did my work and then… wow, she was amazing. Tall, truly elegant. What Krauser would call a “Greyhound.” She was past her prime but still an endless distraction as I tried to work. And then there was the girl yesterday as I ordered tea someplace else… all of her “energy” down below her waist, sexy and delicious, dangerous thoughts raced through my mind as she shifted from hip to hip. And the perfect ass of the girl that delivered my salad at lunch yesterday (but couldn’t look me in the eyes). And the blush of the girl at the airport as I arrived.
This place is magical for me. I could go on and on (and I intend to)… but I smuggled a proper head cold into Japan and it’s still raging. My first real contact with the girls will begin in a few days when I’m well. For now, I can feel my hunger rising and I am truly enjoying the view.
But I said this move is about more than girls and it is.
I have been studying Game and working hard at it for years. I can say I have accomplished a lot of my goals in Game already. I am very confident I will be able to “make it happen” here when this illness passes. So… this is where I say that this move is barely about the girls. It’s not a “jaunt.” This isn’t a pussy trip. It’s more than that.
And when I hear myself say this ^, again, I trust myself. It feels mature. I have no problem with men that are primarily concentrated on Game. I have been that, and I will appear to be that again soon, I am sure. But I want to be up to Big Things. And even as I continue to hunt, take numbers, and date, in terms of the focus of my life, success with girls will be a sidedish, a natural consequence, to where I am heading as a man. That is how it feels. I bet you’ve heard men say this before. I know I have.
Let’s start again here:
This move is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life.
And I knew it would be. I knew it would be so hard… I didn’t want to want it.
Does that make sense?
If I didn’t want to move here, life would have remained a bit “easier.” I can (and have) been able to travel for Game (Tokyo, Shanghai, NYC), to work remotely from cities like this one, I’ve been able to maintain my business, to move my life forward… all while tagging as much young, lovely ass as I could manage. I am proud of all that. And I want even more.
But to want this particular plan… to want to move my life to Japan… was to wish an insane amount of work on myself.
For the men that read this post, I bet most of you are younger than me. Making this same move as a younger man would be a serious life challenge, but youth can afford a freedom of movement that can be more difficult for older, more “established” men.
They say “we don’t own our possessions, they own us.” And I have felt that very much these last few months. I have a house in California. I have two cats. I live pretty sparsely, but I still have a life full of stuff. I have a full client load. If I wanted to make this move… I would have to get all of that sorted, dismissed, or shipped over here. That would be on top of Visa concerns.
And I did it. I did all of it. It cost a fortune and it has been a like climbing a mountain of work.
I’ll talk briefly about my cats: Cats… are great. I love animals. I think I am probably a “dog person” at heart, but as a bachelor (one that lived four months this year abroad) cats are a better choice for me.
I know it would be cooler if I could say I had a killer rottweiler or I bred hunting dogs (that would be cool, actually), but I don’t. I adopted two kittens four years ago, and they are family to me. I am responsible for them and I take their lives (and their happiness) seriously. And… I enjoy them very much. On top of all that… they happen to be great bait for girls. When I get going with Game here… inviting young Japanese girls back to my apartment to “see my cats” will be up there with the most successful ploys of all time. I can’t wait.
But now I’ll use the cats as a jumpoff point to get more serious: I have a responsibility to take care of them. And hauling them to Japan would not be easy at all. To begin with, Japan has 0.0 rabies, and they are insane about making sure they keep it that way. It was a nine month process for me to get them the shots and tests and paperwork, to make all the appointments, to pass all the tests, to be able to bring them with me. And it was terribly expensive.
And now… imagine a day that involves 20 hours of travel (door to door), and ends late at night, in a strange land in the dead of winter. As we ended that 20 hour journey (two cat carriers and six suitcases), I’d have to have everything I need for them as we walked in the door. That meant a place to stay (bringing animals means hotels are not an option… neither are AirBnBs). If you can follow all this, you can start to imagine all the moving parts of this trip… very serious planning. If I fucked up, they would turn me back at the airport, detain the cats, or “euthanize” them. No way I could let that happen.
I am highlighting some of the responsibility of all this for me. The cats (unbelievable effort), getting the apartment (one that would take cats, and a strange, self-employed man from California), the Visa, two full courses of Japanese language lessons (one in the summer, another this Fall), not to mention the shipping of the rest of my stuff, preparing and clearing out my house back home so it can be rented, etc., etc., etc. I made it to LA for Christmas with my family in my final days in America just before this trip. Just to make sure I was properly taxed… someone stole my commuter just before the holiday.
I got all of it sorted. I made it here. It wrecked my Game this year… but it was an investment.
Unbelievable. There is no way I could do all this if this was just about pussy paradise. It’s just too much.
So is the moral this: Keep it lean, don’t acquire possessions, stay light… so you can travel wherever you want, whenever you want?
I may disappoint you when I say, no, that’s not how I feel at all. In fact I feel the opposite. I did all this work… so I can stop moving around so much.
I am sick of travelling. I am sick of wonderful, but temporary jaunts. They have been fantastic and they created the appetite that made me hungry enough to try to do a move like this one. But I want roots. I want to pick a place and really go for it.
“Digital nomad life” my ass.
It’s yet another hotel for me and I would really really really like to spend one straight month at my own place.
I don’t mind the gigs but the constant travel. I wouldn’t even want to “travel for the entire year”. I need my base.
— tddaygame (@tddaygame) December 9, 2019
I have been working toward this goal for almost two years, but when I read TD’s tweet a few weeks back, I could really feel what he was saying. I get it.
That is why I made this move. I am not looking to marry (or even to get a girlfriend). I still very much want to be a Player. I want to chase some skirt, and flirt, and stay up late, and bury my face in pussy, and cook post-sex pancakes on Saturday mornings for girls I barely know. I want all that… but I don’t want to do it as a transient anymore. I want more as a man than that.
That is why something as “uncool” as cats has very cool significance to me. I did it. I lived up to my responsibility to them. My mom once talked about “doing the right thing, even when it costs you more than you want to pay.” Well, I have hit that standard. Going for what I really want (a new life in Japan), while living up to my commitments (to my cats, my clients, etc.) is more proof of who I am. Proof to me. For me. If I want to have confidence in myself, I have to really see it.
I have been excited about this for so long, but I purposely held my tongue and didn’t talk about it. I would talk about it after it was done. Now is that time.
And while I didn’t announce I was moving here in advance, I told a few people – one of which was Runner. He and I have known each other for years. He is the guy that got me into Daygame. We’re different guys, but we both have an eye toward roots. Runner wants a family. I may look toward that goal as well, but for both of us, as we plan for the future… we want to be rooted someplace. I want to commit… not to a woman, but to myself, and a place, and a plan. And my plan is to make it work here. We’ll add women as the situation merits.
And this comes back to girls in a circuitous way:
“Taking on something you think is worthwhile and finding… a certain level of success. When a man hasn’t worked that out, as a woman, you can’t really take them seriously. It’s because he doesn’t have himself yet. He hasn’t fought that fight and gotten to the other side.”
— Patricia Albere
“Something you think is worthwhile.” Yeah.
I am not making this move for girls (or even to find girls), I am making it for me. And it has been an outrageous challenge. But I did it. And many men have done far greater things, but this is the most difficult thing I have ever done… and so far, I’m kicking it’s ass. I have had some “wins” like this before. And I know what they have done for my confidence. I am “confident” this will be another boost for myself as a man. This is how Inner Game is built. I am stronger and more badass for having gotten this far.
Now imagine if you could do your own version of this (if you haven’t already). And you’re on a date… spilling out who you are for a girl. If this kind of thing made you stronger, made you a more impressive man… the girls will feel it.
I love the girls here, but they are secondary… they’d have to be… or I’d have done it all for the wrong reasons.
I made this move in service of the next stage of my life… a vision that includes naked Japanese girls but goes beyond a “hit and run” mentality.
And I’m not done. I have to learn the language, all that. And more than that, my “resolution” (if I have one) is to get a couple of additional businesses running this year (aka “side hustles”). I’ll establish them in Japan. And I’ll need to, as my long-term residence here is dependent on proving myself to be effective and earning a business Visa (and maybe, eventually, a green card).
All of this sounds like a proper “Mission.” A man on a mission. Some guys call it “being on your purpose.” I have a clear “purpose” right now… and it’s scary (and fucking hard), but it feels good. A man on his mission… is an attractive man.
Can you see me looping this around again and again? Me, work, Game, value, Inner Game, girls, victories, more Inner Game, roots, foundation, attraction, Game, more girls… onward and upward.
Of course I didn’t do all this “for the girls.” And this last year, I have progressed more slowly as a Seducer, as I didn’t have the same time or focus on approaching. And the scope of all this “life stuff” has changed where Game fits in my greater plan.
“It was not simplify a matter that his attitude toward the sword had changed. The sword of the conqueror, and the sword of the killer, were things of the past. No longer of any use or meaning. Nor did being a technician, even one that gave instruction to men, excite his interest. The way of the sword, as he had come to see it, must have specific objectives: to establish order, to protect, and to refine the spirit. Not the shallow urge to score a victory…, now his wish was to be engaged in the business of governing.”
— Miyamoto Musashi
I love this quote from the story of Musashi. I heard this last week. I can’t believe how close to home it hits for where I am at right now.
I am still too much of a pussy hound to be quite as “elevated” as Musashi is in that passage… but I feel like I am at a similar kind of transition. I still like “to kill” (and will “kill”), but that’s not the point of Game for me anymore. And I very much want to teach other men “the way of the sword,” I’ll do a lot of that in the next few years, I am sure. But I want to set up the foundation for Patriarchy… “establish a house” where I can administer “order,” “protect,” make a mark on a community, and maybe lead a “family” (in one way or another). Can you see the parallels to what I am saying and Musashi’s quote?
“The way of the sword, as he had come to see it, must have specific objectives.”
It must be in service of something. I’m not talking charity. Or “saving the rain forest” or doing it all for the “baby seals” or anything campy like that. A man’s Mission can be anything he wants to dedicate himself to. The company he wants to build. The community he wants to create. The family he wants to lead. Game has led me to this. It’s pussy. And it’s more than pussy.
Men have been moving through these transitions since time began. I want Big Things. I want to set myself up… and I want to give back. That’s the man I want to be. Krauser’s “Player’s Path” covers many of the same topics (I recommend it, it’s an excellent talk). This is an old path.
Runner and I had a great talk last week about “being men, heading out to the frontiers to earn our fortunes.” That’s what it feels like. That’s what this is all about for me. That was a great talk, Runner. Thank you.
As he and I talked about on that call… this isn’t a “jaunt.” I respect jaunting, and adventure, the touring of places and the female bodies in those locales. But this is a kind of “perma-jaunt” ((c) Runner). And I am into it. I want to set up roots here. I want to claim my patch of earth, commit to it, and build… like so many great men before me. Like a frontiersman. It’s very “American,” in it’s way (I see the irony of all that).
If I ever want a family… the work I am doing now will set me up well for all that.
It’s a new year. It’s a new decade.
From the Land Of The Rising Sun…
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
May we all be inspired. May we all be entertained.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) December 31, 2019
I still can’t believe it.
As for Game… I’m still too sick to even think about being sexy, but hooah do I see the potential. I’ve skimmed over some of these details, but…
This new life (Game and more) starts with near-epic logistics. I am properly “downtown” in a way I have never been before (certainly not on a semi-permanent basis). I have a killer apartment, a five-minute walk from a very good station. This apartment was something I found on a prep-trip this summer. It just so happens, two of my favorite date spots are about a two minute walk from my front door. And unlike any of my previous “jaunts,” all my stuff will arrive via cargo ship in February… so I can set this place up to really feel like a home… like my castle.
I am surrounded by shopping and tourism. I will be able to hunt right as I step out my door. I can walk girls back to my place, quite easily (which is an over-rated play, but I’ll have it at my disposal). But this plan is even better in terms of dating… as I won’t be a moving target anymore.
I changed cities seven times in the last year (not counting short trips at all). That means stopping Game, letting leads get stale, constantly leaving as prospects were developing, always telling girls I am about to leave, constantly starting over. If you haven’t traveled for Game much, you should. It’s quite hard, but it’s fun… and I have loved it. But I have hit a point where the travel itself was holding me back.
I think I am ready to prove I am better with women than I have ever been… but even as I closed a bunch of new girls in 2019, it was not my best year. In 2018, I fucked 13 girls (11 new notches) with lots of “recurring revenue,” but that wasn’t my best year either. I look back at 2017 actually… when I didn’t travel as much. That was better. The best times with The Siren and Miss Thick were during that year. And while 2019 had so many girls flying here/there to be with me (as I moved around, or they did), all those “very long dates” with great girls… I was hard to date. And I was distracted because of the travel. And it hurt my results. I am over it.
I want to go “deep” here instead. Deeper into this city. And deeper with the girls. Deep is where I’ll find more of the kind of gold I am looking for.
As I get busy with the approaches, I will have some more “in the trenches” posts about girls to talk about. I want to get back to that sweet spot between sweaty and romantic. I want to layer in all that is interesting to me in terms of male/female dynamics and the psychology of Seduction. More on all that in the coming months.
“If a man dwells only on the dangers ahead he cannot advance a single step, let alone make his way through life successfully.”
— Miyamoto Musashi
I have accomplished something as I write this, but there is a lot more to go. And the uncertainty of all that scares me too.
That’s why I didn’t make this announcement until I had already made it across the Pacific. I wanted to under-promise, and over-deliver. So while the latter part of my plan here is speculative and ephemeral… the first part is now fact.
To be here right now is to have earned it.
Goddamn I am excited. 2020 is the beginning of a new decade indeed. A real beginning.
And now… it’s time to make this place mine. To dig in. To explore. To connect. To build. And do so… without constantly running off for a trip. I have gone one step further here. I have moved to where I want to be. As a type of accomplishment in itself, but also to remove distractions and costs that have been holding me back from even greater things.
I am so thankful to all the badass men that have shown themselves to be examples that could inspire me to bite off something this intimidating. Examples of men in Game. Of men that have traveled to “hunt” like the London daygamers. And all the tough guys on Twitter that go on and on about discipline and going for what you want. I fucking needed all that, or I wouldn’t be here. Thank you.
Twitter is full of overripe platitudes and worn-out Hallmark-y advice. I have seen so much of it…
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
— H. Jackson Brown Jr.
And this ^ one has been burning at me since this plan first took hold in my heart… I had to try. It’s cost me so much already. I left some truly great friends behind. But I’m making a big gamble on the future. My new city in Japan is a kind of “frontier town.” Who knows what the future will bring, but for now… I’m all in.
To 2020, my brothers. To being so inspired that the work is worth it. To the fresh air of pretty girls. To fucking and sucking and romance. To meaningful connections.
I stare into a snowy night in Japan and I howl for me. And I howl for all of you.
** If someone knows a good original quote like that, let me know and I’ll change this post to feature it.