There is a guy that calls himself TDDAYGAME. I know him from Twitter, where he is one of my favorite voices on that platform, dumping tons of high quality advice into the Tribe of Men. He contacted me a month back about his new book — which he is calling “DAYGAME: Pick Up Girls Everywhere.”
He sent me a copy. In this post, I review the book in my usual style… some context about the man, an overview of his book, what I liked about it… and areas where I would challenge him on certain points.
It wasn’t my original intention, but… this review has become as much about TD as it is about his book.
Here we go.
I have never met TD, but I have seen some of his game philosophy via his online presence. After studying game for 10+ years, I am a very critical bastard about some of the ideas out there. But despite my contrarian nature… I like this guy.
I see TD’s POV on game as smart, real, and very much on-target for guys trying to learn to be better with women (in pickup and relationships).
Here is an example:
When in relationship, have a lot of sex.
— tddaygame (@tddaygame) September 26, 2018
See? The dude is brilliant.
You can’t get a girlfriend because you’re trying to develop a relationship right away while you should be enjoying sex and time spent together.
— tddaygame (@tddaygame) August 27, 2018
So true. Meet women. Screen for ones you enjoy. Then… actually enjoy them. When that goes on for a while… congratulations, you’ve found a relationship. The order there is important. And TD is one of the few men to spell this kind of thing out.
Want to see him be a little harsh?
You’re not “trying to game that girl” if it’s going on for years.
You blew it in the beginning and now you’re just lying to yourself.
There are plenty of other girls around.
Leave her alone.
— tddaygame (@tddaygame) July 30, 2018
Also well done.
Simple, clean, experienced advice. That’s what I have come to expect from TD.
Here is how he describes himself:
“I go by the nickname of tddaygame and I was the only true London Daygame Model Coach in Warsaw, explaining and showing to the eager guys how you can approach any girl walking down the streets of your city.”
— From the “Daygame” book sales page
I knew of him before I got involved with Twitter… in part as my friend Alpha Rivelino did a great interview with him in 2017. I read it again this week. Some of the aspects of TD’s personality that allow me to trust him really come through in that interview with Riv.
That “trust” is a big deal for me.
A lot of what TD has to say sounds “real” to me. I place a high-premium on realness. And on actual experience.
TD is all that. And the things he says match what I know from my time on the streets. And he’s not trying to “alpha-up” to impress you (which is quite refreshing). Beyond his vibe, his value comes through in the quality of his comments. You can tell the guy has actually talked to girls. And that kind of POV is valuable to a man studying game.
80% of game is getting enough reference experiences so that you can be confident in your abilities and also that you can read most of the cues. https://t.co/NkRta4yQVL
— tddaygame (@tddaygame) November 29, 2018
Another ^ excellent Tweet from TD.
He is responding to a question from a beginner there. And that… is a very solid answer. I too, am completely sold on reference experiences. And you’ll notice this isn’t your typical “I give zero fucks and the girls chase me” garbage. TD is more interesting than that.
He is a cool guy. That is where I got started with him… and that… was why I was interested in what he had to say about daygame.
Let’s get into his book.
“Picking up girls during the day should not be some great feat. Your father did it, as well as your grandfather. They did not have Tinder, Instagram and surely, the club culture was not as it is today. They just had the balls to go over and talk to any beautiful girl they happened to fancy.”
That is a good place to start.
Here TD is giving you some context for why daygame is very relevant today… and that is (in part)… because it’s always been relevant.
TD was “brought up” in the early days of the London Daygame Model… and had some exposure to the techniques established by the crew that coalesced around Daygame.com, including Krauser, Sneaky Tom, Sasha, John Matrix, Yad, and the business guy behind those players, Andy Yosha.
Based on his references to training other guys, it’s not hard to see TD has done a lot of coaching. You might notice that as you read his book… the concepts he points out are (in fact) the kinds of things guys get hung up on as they try to figure out the game.
And now we’re into the meat of why you might be interested in his book: TD knows daygame. And perhaps more important, he has taught it. Seems to me, he has a lot of experience in that domain. And his book captures a lot of what he thinks a guy should know about how to move down the path of becoming a daygamer.
The book is a fairly quick read… 130+ pages. No illustrations. No examples of dialog with girls. No pictures. What you’ll get is TD’s framework for setting a man on the daygame path.
“I tried very hard to include everything that you need to daygame entirely on your own. That should be your ultimate goal. Not relying on wings, coaches or canned lines. Just you and the girls.”
The book flows like this: He starts off with some unique comments that are particular to his vision of what is important in daygame. Then, he does his overview of the London Daygame Model. Then, the book gets more interesting for me, as we wraps things up with his “Daygame Mantras” and then his “Troubleshooting” section.
The book is totally appropriate for a beginner.
If you can’t approach a girl directly, start with hit-and-runs.
“Hi, can I say to you something really quickly? I just saw you and I couldn’t help myself but to notice that you look really nice. I’d love to stay and chat but I have to go, bye!”
No chance for her to reject you.
— tddaygame (@tddaygame) September 24, 2018
Here ^ he is advising new guys to try what I would call a “compliment mission.”
The example here is done in the classic Daygame.com “script,” complete with “you look nice.” I don’t like “you like nice” (that is a weird thing to say to a girl… too “English” for me). But sending new guys off to do hit-and-run compliment missions is a great way to get a guy started.
Reading this book will give you a solid overview of the structure and the opportunity for street seduction. And on top of that, you’d have the notes of the man that has a lot experience both as a daygamer and an instructor.
Some of the value for me in reading TD’s book, was having a view into his head… to see how a man I respect has approached daygame. And his approach will likely be different than yours. That might give you an opportunity to use TD as a point of comparison… or even a “checklist,” where you can see if you have considered or tried the fundamentals TD prefers.
If you’re learning… or even if you want to “cross examine” your assumptions about daygame… TD can deliver that level of insight.
While I’m making general notes here… I’ll add here the book is rough around the edges. English isn’t TD’s first language. And the book could use some proof-reading (I sent him some notes after I read it).
If you’re working on your game, you could definitely benefit from TD’s book. I did.
This is not the core of TD’s book… it is a very small slice of the content, but I like that he takes the time to include comments like this one:
“It is much easier to have both serious relationships and casual sex if you are high value. So let us make you a high value man, starting from the very beginning, which is the first impression.”
He puts a lot of emphasis on the first impression. He has some fresh and interesting thinking there… about how you present your value in set. That content came early in his book, and that was where I started to take notes.
TD approaches value in different ways, across his teaching. Here is another example of how he thinks:
USING “INDIFFERENCE” AS A STRATEGY:
“If you’re indifferent and she’s not yet attracted, SHE SIMPLY WON’T CARE. It’s like screaming “I don’t want to work here anyway!” at the entrance to the company that didn’t hire you.”
From his ^ newsletter.
— Nash (@DaysOfGame_com) September 26, 2018
In quotes like the one above, TD calmly sweeps aside some of the over-played tropes (“just be, uh, ‘indifferent,’ bruh”) in game. He uses the word “attracted” in that quote, but I would argue he is still pointing at value. Underneath everything that works… is actual value.
And the comments in his book on how you present yourself (specifically, in what order you begin to construct an image in the girl’s mind as you run your set) are very well done.
Here is another line from his book that caught my eye:
“She cannot follow you when you yourself do not know where you are going. And she will never think of you as a captain of your ship when you cannot even choose a drink.”
He is not expliciting saying “value” here, but he is once again setting up a view of how a man with value operates. Do you know where you’re going? Are you the captain of your ship?
“Do you want to be great at picking up girls during the day? First, sort out your life.”
This kind of comment is proof to me that TD has a level of maturity (both as a seducer and a coach) that makes him credible. That is very much like the kind of advice he gives on Twitter, head-shoulders above generic bluster like “make her chase, bruh.”
There is nuance here, and context… he knows what he is talking about. And TD is wise to reestablish the concept of “value” as the underlying foundation of all proper seducers.
Part of why I trust TD is he is not selling “hacks” to make you better with women.
“There are no best daygame openers.”
That’s right. If you’ve run a few hundred sets… you likely have your favorite lines… but you know this is true.
It’s not “the line.” Some of the best approaches of my life were when I had my vibe dialed in and all I did was smile. That’s it… no words until she was already hooked.
TD has a lot to teach you in his book. And he definitely talks about “what to say.”
But if you want to get good with girls… get serious, and move past that phase in your game when you’re overly focused on the opening line. A “gift of gab” can help, but lines are not what will make you successful. In fact, it is a milestone in a daygamers journey when he realizes that when you have enough value/attraction… “hi” is a great opener (I use it all the time).
He is not selling you “tricks.” There are no hacks in game.
The book has a lot of strong sections.
I already mentioned I liked his comments on “First Impressions.” As he gets deeper in his coverage of the London Daygame Model (LDM), he has “field tested” things to say about Vibing and Stacking that are very practical. If you know the basic stages of the LDM (and he covers those as well), he can fill in more details to help you understand how those stages work.
He really digs deep on his “Hooks Theory” section.
“My bet is that you gave her only one hook and she did not bite it. When you are using more words and projecting many vivid ideas then you also have more chances for a good reaction.”
There ^ is a sample. His advice is clear and easy to understand.
To say more about the strengths of this book, I’m going to give some specific examples that resonated for me… topics that are interesting for a man with my level of experience, and how TD got me thinking on those topics.
It is part of the culture of modern daygame that many of our heroes have taken their game to foreign countries. Krauser… roaming around Eastern Europe. A lesser-known guy like Seven Daygame running game in Russia. Mr White just did quick trip to Japan (not his favorite spot!). I just did three+ weeks of daygame in Shanghai. You don’t need to travel to make daygame work, but our scene has a lot of emphasis on “jaunts”… which is almost a bad thing, in my view.
While the travel stories are exciting, I think they tend to confuse and distract beginners (and intermediates for that matter). TD provides some sober comments on “jaunting:”
“Let us start with what everyone is thinking, ‘Being a foreign guy gets you laid much easier!’ In one word? Nope. You have to deal with a sex-tourist label, language barrier, nationalist ideologies (yes, there are girls who just will never sleep with a guy from other country) and lack of time.”
I fully endorse this, as it matches my experience exactly. I wrote a detailed post about my first days on my Shanghai daygame trip, giving examples of some of the pain-points of trying to run game in a foreign country.
“Contrary to popular belief, panties are not dropping left and right when you pull out your… passport.”
It’s true. There are reasons why guys sometimes find more success when they are travelling… but “Pussy Paradise” is a myth. And I like that TD includes this stuff in his book.
“Weekend trips for daygame are pointless unless you already have solid leads or girlfriends.”
“Do not fool yourself that you will get better results in a foreign place than you are getting at home. At the very best they will be on par, probably a tad worse.”
Totally solid advice.
The point here is not to shit on your dreams of “banging hot models in Latvia” (or whatever). The point is that you will do most of your seduction where you live. Getting good at daygame takes time and effort… and expecting to get that done on short trips here/there is naïve.
TD is setting you up for success by getting you to hone your craft in your city, and then, when you’re solid… yeah, take your show on the road and test yourself in foreign climes. I like gaming in foreign places… it’s fun… the girls I like are easier to find in other countries… but it is… more challenging.
It’ll be harder… in many ways. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. But learn to walk before you try to run.
Guys might ask, “How many girls do I need to approach to get laid?” Very common question. Of course it depends on my factors, but TD will give you an answer:
“To put it in real numbers: you need from about 170 approaches per lay (worst-case scenario, total beginner) to a stunning and unsustainable 25 approaches per lay.”
“I have never heard of anyone having that sort of results in the long term. You can get there on a 2-week long trip or in the spring months. That will never be the average of a whole year.”
Solid. Totally agree.
(BTW: I was talking with YoungGuns and TechCrunch about this today… and YoungGuns was quick to point out that 170/lay is an average (for some guys), across hundreds of sets. Don’t assume you’ll get laid in your first 170. Maybe TD can get you laid that quickly… but probably not.)
I often say I have some of the worst (and most honest) numbers in our scene. I don’t count approaches when I am in my city any more, but in Japan… I am close to 1:150.
TD calls that “total beginner,” and I am not that. But I count every approach I do (including blowouts), I approach a lot of girls that are 20+ years younger than me and almost always from a different culture than mine. There are months when I am closer to 1:50, but also times when I’ve gone 200 approaches and couldn’t take a lay (like during my Summer Famine this year).
I like TD’s numbers here. I think he is giving you a realistic set of expectations.
I never said that the numbers don’t change with higher SMV.
I’m saying the numbers remain relatively small, regardless of the SMV.
One guy is at 3%, the other is twice as good at 6%.
It’s always 90+% failures.
— tddaygame (@tddaygame) August 24, 2018
Solid. Realistic. I like it.
ROMANTIC RED PILL:
My comments here aren’t actually from the book, but I like these notes as yet another view into TD as a man and his philosophy of game:
Sleep with a hundred girls to fall in love with one. Have some awesome time and make it worth it, even if it ends in a disaster.
Facefuck her, cum in her ass then cuddle, go to sleep and make her a breakfast.
Cheers to everyone out there in the “Romantic Red Pill” community.
— tddaygame (@tddaygame) November 6, 2018
This kicks ass. I love it.
Riv, TD, Pat Stedman, myself and many others have been kicking around this “flavor” of game. The concept of “romantic red pill” isn’t well defined, but I like the spirit on display in that tweet.
TD is one of many men that can show you how you can be “pilled,” you can be “awake,” you can have control in your sex life, agency with women… and yet really love women at the same time.
You can be wise and opened-eyed.. but still put yourself out there. Risk something… to get something. TD can see a positive side to this lifestyle, beyond pure consumption, and I like that very much.
There are no sane girls.
You just have to pick the level of insanity you want to deal with.
Once she’s past the threshold – next her.
— tddaygame (@tddaygame) August 27, 2018
This ^ is not “candy-coated” Disney bullshit.
This is knowing how the sexual marketplace works. Knowing that lovely, little girls can be snakes… snakes with fangs. That they can be charmed… but they can also bite when you least expect it. They can… spit poison. But that is not the whole of the truth.
Men of Game can get educated. Then… we can step into the space with these little girls… and control our destinies. We can have amazing experiences. We can “cum in her ass” (if that’s what you’re into). And we can do so with an open heart.
If you think all girls are trash, you’re hanging around wrong girls.
If you think all girls think men are trash, you’re still hanging around wrong girls.
— tddaygame (@tddaygame) August 30, 2018
You’ll find some treacherous girls – for certain. And you’ll get shit tested. And girls will branch swing (often into your arms, if your game is any good). And they’ll sometimes fuck you and then… disappear without a trace.
It’s all true.
But for Men of Game… there are truly beautiful experiences out there too. If I was to pick a coach…and he couldn’t see the beauty and the romance… I would know he was too jaded to be my sensei.
I will always include weakness in any review I do of a book. I am into trust. And I want you to trust me… so I try to tell the whole truth.
So here are some weaknesses in TD’s book, as I see them:
I already talked about the “rough around the edges” grammar and punctuations items. Expect that.
Let’s do deeper:
“However, you need to say the exact same words every single time so you will not miss the buffer sentence explaining the situation and you will not stutter.”
This is obviously for beginners. But I still don’t like it.
I trust TD’s experience as a coach. I have coached a few guys, but I don’t claim even a fraction of his experience. Maybe in some cases this is good advice, but I have never approached game like this.
I could compare this to Krauser’s typical “three-part structure” (EX: you seem like a smart girl… it’s your glasses, the books under your arm… and your very ‘sensible’ shoes). Krauser could explain his game much better than I could, but that “three parts” is based on an initial assumption, and is filled in with three observations. If that sounds a little bit hard, and complicated, I would agree. I don’t do that style much either… but I like it much better than “same the exact same words.”
Again… TD is talking to us as a group. That advice is for a certain guy, at a certain stage of this game… but I will argue with him there.
“In the beginning of your daygame adventures, you will be tempted to ask questions instead of making assumptions. Never do this.”
“Asking questions is demanding for an answer, which in turn is taking value. That is why I will tell you about thousand times that you should use statements, not questions.”
“Never?” Again, he is training guys that have bad habits. But…
I use a TON of questions. I did a post where I give some advice about what to say to girls and it is largely based on questions (about logistics).
I get his basic point. Don’t pepper the girl with endless questions. Yes, “assumptions” (which TD reviews in detail in this book) are a great way to stimulate conversation. I use assumptions, too. But I also include many questions.
As long as you have balance, questions are fine. Accuse her of something, make some assumptions, let her respond, ask a question, share a story about yourself, etc. Questions are normal. Don’t take that advice too literally.
The last point of criticism I’ll touch on this:
TD does give us some examples, but they are all impersonal. He shares almost nothing about himself in this book, nothing about the girls he has dated, nothing specific about his interactions with girls.
He is not alone in this kind of didactic, impersonal teaching… but I don’t like it. TD (I am more than convinced) is real, his experience is real, I bet he is solid on the street. But, in theory, it’s possible a newbie could construct a book like this… by copying smart things other guys have said.
I am much more interested in personal stories. I want to hear the specific details of men’s lives. This is part of why I am such a huge fan of Krauser. He has A+ notes on tactics and basic strategies… but so much at the personal level.
My advice for TD would be to do a second project that is more personal, that tells his story, that shares his experience. Maybe not a basic memoir (although… I would read it), but a memoir combined with lessons. That would be a more interesting read… and possibly even more instructional.
I think men are hungry for more than “how to” material. I bet TD has some killer stories (ups… and downs). I’d love to hear them.
Okay. There you have it.
It’s a little raw (and I hope TD cleans it up a little), but there is a lot of wisdom and detail in his book. As students of daygame, we are lucky to have a look at how TD sees this grand pastime. He has made a real contribution to our scene with this piece of writing.
As I wrap this up, I’ll emphasize again… the sections on “Mantras” and “Troubleshooting” had some of the best moments for me. In those sections, he can cuts through the “generic” daygame advice, and shows you what he thinks is important. If you’re intermediate to advanced, those notes will likely include some of the most inspiring and educational parts of the book.
And because I like personal examples, I end this review with a comment that inspired me:
“Can you really say you do not have approach anxiety if you have no problems with approaching only a specific type of girls or when you found yourself a small niche where your thing works? You can backward rationalize it all you want but if you repeatedly see a girl that gives you a boner and do not go after her – you are lying to yourself.”
Hmmm. When I first read this part of his book, I was telling myself that I don’t really have AA anymore (I don’t). But the more I think about it… he has got me here.
I do, in fact, see girls that might “give me a boner” and fail to approach. I want to say that is not really AA. I want to call that a “weasel,” but TD is right.
I have been out several times lately, running game, and “passed” on a girl that I would have liked to talk to… because she “looked bitchy,” or whatever. And if I say I don’t have any AA at all… TD is right, I am lying to myself.
This is just one of many ideas I took from TD’s book that have already had an influence on my game. How I can see his wisdom when I am out, on the street, talking to girls.
TD is one of us. He has real experience. And because of that experience… his comments are meaningful.
And not only do I like a lot of what he put into his book… but I bet 1$ he is a very good coach.
“Go out for a walk with the intent of talking to a few girls.”
Yeah. That’s what we do. And TD’s book will give you a lot to consider as you continue on this path.