I think I am kicking a girl out of my harem. She’s fired. I’m not 100% sure I’ll stick to my decision, but I think that’s what I’m doing. This is all new for me.
I have three girls on rotation right now: The Siren (one of my favorite girls of all time), Miss Thick (who is a fantastic lover, getting better all the time) and then Good Smell. Other girls are (ah-hem) coming and going, but these three have been consistent.
She is 33, and that makes her 11 years younger than me, and six years older than any other girl that has my attention. She has been cute. And a pretty good lay. She has been fun to date, and I have enjoyed fucking her, and also sleeping next to her in my bed. She’s not super passionate about the sex, but has seemed very into me. Sometimes more into me after sex than during.
I had no plans to cut her off… In fact, I have never cut off a daygame girl before. I haven’t had to. They seem to “expire” in one way or another.
My first daygame lay moved to NYC after a few weeks (and a bit of deception). My 2nd lay mostly rejected me… I’m not 100% certain, but I stopped trying. The Filipina Mom has told me she wants to see me, but never follows through (dating moms is impossible, and not exactly my goal). All the J-girls stayed in Japan. Miss Xi’an wasn’t my favorite, but she’s off/on with messaging, so that one is going nowhere. The last Korean girl disappeared back to Korea.
I have never had to… never wanted to… get rid of a daygame girl before.
It’s a strange feeling.
When I was a normal “boyfriend type,” I dismissed a lot of girls. It was classic serial monogamy for me back then. For long-term relationships, or short term flings, I did almost all the breaking up. “Looping off heads” is what Natural and I call it. Not fun, but necessary.
Usually the girl would try to raise the stakes — to encroach on my territory, you might say. A mix of being less agreeable, less sexual, and more demanding. That is a fucking retarded plan for a girl to roll-out, but I’ve seen it over and over.
After a while, I would have enough, and I’d break us up. Her complaints… my action. She’d start the fight… I’d finish it. This has happened to me many times. It’s why I don’t want a girlfriend right now. Not at all. Not one bit.
The girls often seemed surprised as I’d cut them off. They were running the relationship into the ground like a suicide bomber into a crowded plaza. And yet they seemed shocked I didn’t want to help continue that kind of mindless slaughter. Over and over I’ve seen them shocked (and even begging to come back) as I ended things.
I’ve had many LTRs, lived with four separate girls, etc., and being a player makes sense to me in a way that the nature of long-term relationships never did.
I’ll own up to the idea that I wasn’t managing those relationships as well as I could. Some man could have given both himself and the girl a better experience. Some man would train the girl better, have more iron-clad boundaries. But for me it was not working (not in the end). I may not have always known how to keep the magic going… But at least I knew when to get off the ride.
It is part of my story now that most girls will ruin a relationship, given enough time. I think that is really in a woman’s nature.
It’s all about them “encroaching” on you until you’re broken or you fight back. They will escalate their demands in such a way that most men will either cave in to her demands (the guy gives up his power and position) or he bails (escapes a sinking ship).
Or (more likely), he gives in to her demands and she dumps him… dumps him for being weak, for not knowing how to handle her, for not being “better than her.”
Or keeps him around, and treats him with contempt ever after. A co-dependent downward spiral of misery. Welcome to female leadership. And then she fucks some cool guy on the sly while continuing to extract a tax from him. Sad, but common. Sometimes the guy she is fucking on the side… is me.
Cynical. But that’s what I see.
But as I’ve worked my way out of that kind of k-selected hell, I don’t have to deal with that kind of bullshit much. It’s nice. I still have “work” with the girls in my life, more so as they get established in “the hareem.” But nothing like the bullshit I remember from monogamy.
A lot of daygame is about embracing how life is in flux, it
pumps and dumps “comes and goes.” So do the girls. Whereas the average guy has to compromise or suck it up, the daygamer can just hit the streets. And go back to the early “courtship” stage with each new girl. Relive the “best days,” again and again.
The plurality of girls in Daygame is a bit like Groundhogs Day, but with a twist: You wake up every day with the same goal… but your skills keep getting better and “her” face keeps changing. The day’s the same, the girl is not. It’s awesome.
So Good Smell, is a “good” girl. I like her. We’ve been delicious and tender with each other. But there have been a few things that are signals to me to let her go, to cut her off, to move on myself.
The first moment when things started to feel “off” was complicated for me…
She had spent the night and it was a good time. I told her I had a busy morning that day, that I was getting ready to leave for a trip that afternoon… She sort of lingered, and it felt deliberate. I didn’t like it.
And I’m not in this to give myself “bad experiences.” That’s the exact opposite of the goal, here.
Most girls in my life would have said something like, “I know you have a big trip, I’ll let you pack…” And given me one last kiss, and then ran off. But Good Smell was kind of dragging her feet… That’s what it felt like. It was a type of red flag.
That day I was trying to find the balance between giving her the kind of quality attention I want to give girls… And hurrying her along so I could get back to my mission… and she seemed to have no respect for my time.
And then, that same day… she had this plastic bag with two little bottles of some kind of “girl product” in it. She had it on my counter. She asked if she could leave it at my place… And she had a funny look on her face as she said it. I’m not 100% sure what that look meant.
I said yes… at first. I took it, and started to go put it someplace, and then changed my mind. I walked back to her, handed it to her, told her it would be better if she brought it with her when she came over.
That was my mistake… Changing my mind. I should have rejected it, laughed it off, immediately. Changing my mind was the right move, but it should have been my initial response.
The deal with that is this: If I’m going to have a lot of girls over, I don’t want to keep track of their stuff. I don’t want hide it. I don’t want to talk about with the next girl. It’s all “junk” in my life that doesn’t serve what I’m trying to do. And what’s more… it’s encroachment. It’s her “taking.”
It’s her pissing on the tree of my life. In some ways… no different than giving me a hickie.
It was time for lunch, so I took her for a sandwich… and I was thinking about the scene in my kitchen when I handed her junk back to her… and right when I was thinking about it, she brought it up, right at the sandwich counter:
“Why did you change your mind?” I just repeated my declaration, “It’s better if you just bring it when you come over.” And I changed the subject.
That’s one “strike.”
The next strike came last week. She was in the city and we were messaging. I was horny and she was done with school, so we met up. She was hungry, so we got her some food. Had some tea. Went back to my place… and I fucked her.
And I told her I had 6 PM call. We showered, post sex, and the time came for my call… and she’s dragging her feet. I had been telling her, “I’m going to kick you out,” but I hadn’t said “get out.” It was like she was exploiting that. I could have been more explicit, definitely… but she was being obtuse. She was getting “take-y.” As my call comes up, I say, “I have to take that call,” and she says, “I’ll just wait in the other room.”
Grrrr. I had to start the call, and didn’t want a long talk at that moment. I could have been stronger. Yes. And I also know no other girl in my life does this kind of thing. It’s not cute. She knows it.
She is encroaching. She is taking territory. And testing me. Not cool. I don’t like it. This is the kind of shit that is like termites in the timbers of a relationship. Another red flag.
Post call, I check on her, we chat, and I call a car for her. I put her in the car and she’s gone. Sex was good, I wasn’t too concerned about the “encroachment,” and it was 8 PM and I had my life to myself again.
Meanwhile I have been hustling this new girl… Miss Tease. Ummm, Miss Tease. And she was maybe going to come into the city on Sunday, but I got a firm “no” on Friday afternoon. Too bad. So as the “no” is certain (she was my first choice), I ping Good Smell to see if she is free.
For a girl in my rotation, I want to see her once every 7-10 days. That gives me enough time to entertain other girls (and friends and events, etc.), but not so much time that a relationship gets stale or stretched too thin. That’s my theory. I did this with the Original Siren for almost two years (10 years ago), and with the Tokyo Queen for a year (my last LTR), and the current Siren and Miss Thick are in this pattern. It works.
I thought I could drop Good Smell in on Sunday, and then I’d have 7-10 days to work other girls before I needed to make room for her again. I like her, but I’m trying to get a lot done with girls right now. I pinged her, she had no plans.
NASH: Come over. Let’s play that night.
I was out on the street running game at the time. I wasn’t that into the date as I texted her, but I knew I’d be ready for sex by Sunday. Maybe she could feel the lack of priority in my tone?
So, that night (still Friday), I’m out with Siren. It’s a wild, emotional, but great date. At dinner, I go off to the bathroom to cycle through my messages (including with Miss Tease), and I have a response from Good Smell:
GOOD SMELL: Okkay
GOOD SMELL: But what about if we spending the day together too
GOOD SMELL: Doing some interesting thing
GOOD SMELL: Like as our second time
GOOD SMELL: I just want to do some more like couple things
GOOD SMELL: Not just spending the night
GOOD SMELL: Sorry for being such straight :)
I can read this now, and see her comments as sweet. As just wanting more time with me. That’s cool. I like that.
But that’s not my only read on this girl. At the time, I saw this as type of negotiation for sex. Like I take her on a big date, she fucks me. Bullshit.
That’s not how it works. I don’t negotiate for sex. The sex itself is its own beautiful exchange. Period.
I replied saying something about how I always have a plan… and I did… but I had no enthusiasm for this girl at this point. It had gone from love to war, at least a bit. I felt like I needed to be careful with my defense… and I was considering an aggressive offense as my plan of action.
That was the third strike.
That was enough red flags for her to really stand out against all the other girls I’ve meet in daygame. She was special, and not in a good way…. she was working herself out of job. I’ve seen this before.
The truth is… I’m happy to go on more nuanced dates. I’m not just “Netflix and chill.” And I always take her out… except once, and that was when we had plans, and her day went long, so she came over at 11 PM, and that was the night before she tried leaving that stuff at my house.
I’m not trying to strictly booty call the girl (not that there’s anything wrong with that). And I felt like she had adopted that frame. I don’t trade for sex. That is fundamentally unacceptable to me. It felt pushy on her part, and insulting.
I really, really didn’t like this from her at all. I got a bit mad. It fucked up my date with Siren… or rather, my emotions got in the way of my date with Siren. Not a lot, but some.
The next day (Saturday), Siren and I had one of the most intense mornings I’ve ever had with a girl. Sex, and eating in bed, and listening to music, and talking, and singing, and dancing, and some tears… and then a little lunch in the park. Fucking amazing. The best. She is awesome.
I ran a bit more game later that afternoon… talked to the Vicar (what’s up, man!)… and took a few numbers. But the whole time, I knew I was going to take some action with Good Smell.
That night at dinner I messaged Siren. And had some great sex-talk with Miss Thick. And messaged my new leads from that day (both chatted with me). And then…
I cancelled that Sunday date with Good Smell.
I have basically never done this before. I didn’t have another option. I knew I was throwing away some perfectly good sex. I just cancelled on her. Told her I needed to get some things done. She was fine about it, but I bet, by now… she gets it.
I think I am done with her.
I also know that I get horny and that my libido can change my POV. Perhaps I’ll cave and invite her over? But I don’t think so. If I get needy for sex or time with a girl… I’ll grind the streets.
I really do have some options… both real girls in my orbit, and also the option to kick a girl out, clear out some space, and go hunt up the next prospect. I like to hunt. The daygame process needs air to breathe.
Seeing a girl once in seven days or so… means she is “1/7th” of your life. If she isn’t fucking awesome… and you have other options… you might trade all she is to reclaim 1/7th of your free time. That’s not a bad deal. I am choosing that, for now.
This is all pretty new to me. I know how to dump a cranky, stale girl. I know how to reject a girl that I’ve been dating for a few weeks, when I know it’s not working out (even though I’m fucking that girl). But this was me, proactively optimizing a girl out. A girl that was more than willing to fuck me. New.
Encroachment. They will take all they can… that is the nature of women and I’m not at all mad or bitter about that.
I will use my strength (emotional and psychological) to keep that process at bay. I will surprise girls… so they’re less stable and can’t grab at as much. I will lead girls… so they’re never dug-in and claw at my life. I will make them happy… so they’re not craving change.
But I will also execute a girl for pushing my boundaries. Figurative, “dead.” She’s gone.
I fired her.
I have a lot to learn.
Miss Good Smell… you were an interesting lover. You’re a great girl, and I like you. But I see you taking territory… it’s not graceful, it’s piggish. It’s not feminine… it’s aggressive. That’s not what I’m after. And you’ve lost to the competition in a big way.
Three strikes… you’re out.
Back to the streets, my brothers. The world spins on it’s axis… and we have work to do. The hunt goes on.