“Oh yeah, guys… and stop masturbating.”
— Some pickup coach, circa 2007
I have heard that a few times as I have studied game over the years, but I think the first time was back in 2007. Maybe in one of the early David D’Angelo products? And I remember thinking it was a crazy idea.
But the tone of voice of the guy that said it… was so certain. Like he knew the way, was happy to show me, but he also knew I wouldn’t listen. I think that’s why I still remember that line. I could tell he was right by the sound of his voice. I bet that guy was actually good with girls.
Of course I dismissed the idea. At the time, I don’t think I’d gone more than 2-3 days since I was a teenager without either having sex, getting myself off, or both. Of course I wasn’t going to quit.
And if I did, how could that have much of an effect on my game? Truth is, most men will never know, for the same reasons I didn’t even consider a wank-reduction until much later. Most guys never take a break, and they never find out why it might be helpful.
So a few years ago, before I was a daygamer, I was running game… but I went thru a period where I wasn’t getting laid at all. I was doing my best – night game, social circle, meeting girls in cafes – but I was wondering if there was anything else I could do? How could I take the next step, in terms of commitment?
So I cut off the self-serve orgasms. And something
I got fucking horny. Noticeably so.
It doesn’t really happen right away. For me, now, it’s at about the 3-day mark without an orgasm… and I start to feel motivated. Highly, highly motivated.
That’s the whole point of this post:
If you take a break from jerking off every day, you may well find an ancient and pure form of motivation that will empower your hunt. In my experience, being desperately horny is good for your game.
The “motivation” feels remarkably like when a girl I am already with would turn me on… that desperate need to fuck and get off. That lazer-focus on sex. It’s like that… but more persistent. For instance, hard cock all night long. I wake up grinding my teeth and ready to fight. Deeply masculine experience.
This actually makes me less focused on the rest of life… but much more focused on game, girls, and sex.
And to keep with the theme of realness in this post, I still watch porn – I just don’t orgasm. I realize this is a colossal waste of time, but I still like it. If I wanted to try to justify “porn without orgasm,” I could say that the porn exacerbates the horniness even further — and that is true. But watching naked Japanese girls in the throes of ecstasy is the stuff of dreams for me… No justification needed.
I have been using this “technique” for years, off/on. And I thought I was the only one. And then I read Riv’s really excellent interview with Thomas (of TD Daygame) and he said something very similar. I couldn’t believe it.
“And it’s so much easier to approach girls when you don’t masturbate.”
“And I also found out that on a dry spell I can become disinterested with sex at all… you can try to jump-start your sexuality with some porn.”
— Thomas, from Riv’s Interview
I wouldn’t say it’s “easier” when you don’t jerk off every day… being pent up won’t cure your AA… but it might give you the motivation to go hunting when you otherwise wouldn’t. And it could very well change your approaches in a qualitative sense… lazer focus, more sexuality, more sex-worthy vibe.
So it’s about intent. And about being more interested in women than your own hand. If you back off the self-love, you will get properly hungry. It’s good discipline (which is a big part of inner game). And once your hunger motivates you, you’ll be ready to do what needs to be done, and to do so with some masculine force.
This isn’t a moral thing, it’s just a practical step toward becoming more “dangerously” potent. I still get myself off once in a while, but not if I have a date in the next day or so, or if I want some extra focus for number farming or night game… being pent up helps my intent.
Okay… on with the show.