Role Models || Text Game || Volume
As I wake up the sleeping daygame beast inside me, I’m thinking back to the streak I was on in early 2015 (before I turned my own ship over and spent a year barely treading water).
I was in Japan in early 2015 (where the women of my dreams are from), a bit obsessed with game and the opportunities there, approaching like crazy and just in general expanding what I knew to be possible. I was also reading Torero’s Travels, which was perfect for my one-month stay in the Land of the Rising Sun. Reading about Tom doing Int’l exploits made my life seem more normal and success more feasible. Great book, BTW.
I was presented over and over with an inconsistency in my understanding text game: I would get numbers, and of course, it was up to me to make them go somewhere. I would ping these Japanese lovelies, and often get nothing in response. Sometimes I would immediately ask for the date, just get to it. I had mixed success.
As for working the leads and texting, my “problem” was that that was not how my role models we’re doing it. Krauser and Torero are still my go-to heroes for daygame. And they present text examples where they tease-tease, flirt, chat, joke, etc., all before asking her out. Lots of back and forth – great vibing. I get how that would be desirable. I get that if I had stronger leads, that would probably be more likely. But most of my experience was little-to-no help from these girls, and often dead silence in return. How could I get that non-needy, take-my-time run-up to asking her out… if she wouldn’t play w/ me via text or give me anything to work with?
Part of this is better game. Full stop. Part of this, however, was that I just needed more leads to work. That’s true. Volume is everything in this game. Especially for relative newcomers like myself.
I am feeling some of these same things as I get back into it here in 2016. I’ve done enough sets to have some leads, and now I’m working my leads. Many of which are dead from the start, or give me nothing to work with.
But I think the real point to get here is, 1.) Krauser and Torero aren’t writing about their dead sets. Of course they have dead leads, but writing about those would be a boring read, indeed. And 2.) It’s the yes/maybe girls that will give the space to have that kind of game via text.
I had a good date w/ Chinese girl last Thursday. Unfortunately, on Friday I went to the dermatologist for this ugly patch of skin on my shoulder, and the doc ended up burning it off, along w/ several other patches of skin on my nose, face and ears. Nothing like open wounds on your face to fuck w/ your confidence. I have that kind of pink-white skin that is super fertile for skin cancer and its precursors. I also happen to be a surfer, which means I get a fair amount of sun, and I need to get bits of me burned off from time to time as I get older. Not a big deal, but it leaves me looking like leper for a week. I want to see this girl again (and I want to go farm new numbers, dammit!), but not while I’m leper face.
So, tonight, I’m trying to keep this 25 year old “warm” until I look normal-ish again.
On our date, she teased me about taking her to a bar with leopard wallpaper. I wouldn’t even have noticed, but she did. And she asked if I like leopard print, and I don’t really — it’s cougar-y — and before I could verbally hang myself, she flashed the liner of her leather coat to show me the leopard print. Okay. That’s fodder for call back humor.
On my way to dinner, I think I must have seen someone in leopard (I honestly don’t remember what the inspiration was), I was thinking of her and the leopard thing as I sat. While my food cooled down, I browsed the web on my phone for leopard-print covered women. I started out searching for “cougar” images (as in cougar = “older single women”), but wanted to be careful I wasn’t too harsh — she young enough she would never be considered a cougar, but even so.
NASH: Just saw a girl on the street… reminds me of someone I know.
I was hoping she’d jump in w/ the leopard reference… but that didn’t happen.
HER: Who’s that?
NASH: ^ you.
NASH: Leopard Girl.
HER: Ha ha you’re funny
Okay… that’s what I wanted. Just a chance to check in, to keep the vibe rolling, as I don’t think I’ll be “face-ready” for 4 or 5 more days. We haven’t had any contact since the night of our date. I want her to get used to having me in her world — or her being in mine. I also want to do what my heroes do, which is keep up some value in between dates. “Long game,” even if she’s a local girl.
I wanted to go a bit further to cement things….
NASH: You know, you have to be careful…
NASH: The leopard thing can be kinda “cougar”
HER: FYI I don’t wear that much leopard
NASH: ^ You in a few years : ]
NASH: Ahaha
Now that we’ve established this is fun and flirting, I felt fine pushing her into the cougar box. I loved watching her try to get out of it.
HER: Lol why are you sending me before and after photos of a random lady ;p
NASH: “before/after” — haha : ]
Okay, and that’s it.
(To be honest as I reread this post, I think this is barely “good” game. I feel her challenging my vibe a bit in her last comment, but the “lol” and the smiley are enough playing along to make me feel okay about this. It still does what I want it to do, but certainly have room to improve here.)
Not brilliant game, but it’s doing what I want it to do, I believe. Giving us some juice to keep this thing going until I can date her again, and giving me some time w/ her where I’m not pouncing on the date. When I go in for the date next week, it won’t be so “transactional.” I think, this is B- version of what guys that are good at this would do.
And, as a point of reference… she’s going back/forth with me. I have enough volume now to have a lead that is playful, she’s the best example I have so far in this round of girls. Volume! I have room to play these kinds of games, in part because my “game” is okay w/ her, and in part because I had enough volume to find a maybe-to-yes girl (I think, time will tell). Not all leads will give you any room to ping and play, but this one will. And I have some examples that show I’m on the path good men before me have been on. Yes to that.
It’s a boring Saturday night at home with leper-face, but I’m doing what I can with what I’ve got.
Viva daygame.
For the record… I think I’ve lost this girl, and I think it was because I over-gamed her. Which is ironic, given this post.
It wasn’t this round of texting that lost her, I don’t think. It was the next round. Too much “push,” is my guess. We had some back/forth, and I don’t think she was feeling the teasing… she went quiet.
I’m calling myself out of being uncalibrated here.
“Part of this is better game. Full stop. Part of this, however, was that I just needed more leads to work. That’s true. Volume is everything in this game. Especially for relative newcomers like myself.”
I can’t remember if it was in Daygame Mastery or just one of Krauser’s blog posts, but he had a system of texts that he used. It was like three back and forth’s followed by the ask out. I think I’ve been doing it to the letter, but all I’m getting is either girls that don’t respond,girls that drop off after the second text, or girls saying they can’t make it and not offering counter offers. But like you said, I think it comes down to more leads. The more interactions I have the better I get, which will lead to stronger interactions, which will lead to less flakey numbers.
Hey Cobra. I love that you’re reading this stuff… it’s getting me to re-read it… I’ve come a long way since then.
>> “Part of this is better game. Full stop.”
— Nash
^ This is key.
>> just one of Krauser’s blog posts, but he had a system of texts that he used. It was like three back and forth’s followed by the ask out. I think I’ve been doing it to the letter, but all I’m getting is either girls that don’t respond,girls that drop off after the second text, or girls saying they can’t make it and not offering counter offers
— Cobra
^ This… is an interesting case study. This is totally normal, but this is worth a little breakdown.
First off… I took 10 leads last week, and all of them went nowhere. I got replies to almost all of them, but then… they died out. Those are bad stats, and I’m not really worried about my game right now… sometimes… it’s just bad stats. Even now, I have weeks like that.
” I think it just comes down to having better interactions in the first place”
— Cobra
That is from your own blog. I think this is closer to the truth… it’s about better interactions.
But… that’s not looking deep enough. It’s about being a “better you.” From THERE… comes better interactions… and easier connections with girls.
“She said she was in a food coma and I should have said, ‘got room for dessert’ and grabbed my dick, but alas I’m not at that level yet.”
— Cobra
From a different post on your blog…
Of all the things I’ve seen you write lately about your game… this jumped out at me. That… is not the way. I know you’re joking.. and that could be just for your readers (I do that kind of stuff also), but I think there is more to that comment than just joking around with us guys.
You know I have been saying that you’re looking a LOT better. I can see where you’re at. And you’re not drowning in “floppy swingers” just yet… but you are on the path, m’man. (and your writing is getting better too… I love your blog).
What I don’t like about your comment above about “desert”… is that is the opposite of vulnerability. That comment is about the wall you make between you/her, to protect yourself. I’m not trying to sound hippy… but I think you might take a look at that idea. You know it won’t work. So why did it go thru your head??
That comment is about protection… not about seduction.
If you go into as a type of “war,” and you expect a “fight,” and you have “funny” things to say in that fight… I think you’ll get close, but it’ll be hard to breakthru. You’re not really being Cobra… you’re being “defense guy,” the “guy that knows funny things to say.” Etc. It’s not authentic.
I don’t want you to cry or show your feelings or do slam poetry or any of that shit. Fuck that. Too hippy.
But if you really put yourself on the line… show her you… I think you’ll take a step closer to being “in there.”
“This is who I am. And I like what you have going on. And I’m gonna look you in the eyes and let you know… and I know that means I’m a little extra open and raw… and that might mean getting blown out is extra rough… but so be it.”
^ This is the kind of vulnerable I think you might want to look at.
Your “desert” comment is at the level of “cat call,” and cat calling does not work. I know you didn’t say it… but take a look and see if you’re really laying yourself out for these girls… or “doing tricks?”
At a certain point, it’s about boundaries with girls so they don’t run you over. But in the stage you’re at… on the street… in the approach… I think you need to be more real, more vulnerable, more “seductive.”
My 2 cents.
I don’t think you need better text game. I think you need more “realness” in the approach. Realness = your desire + your vulnerability. That… being elastic/flexible when she blows you out anyway.
^ This is something I think you might want to consider. I think you’re at this stage.
“What I don’t like about your comment above about “desert”… is that is the opposite of vulnerability. That comment is about the wall you make between you/her, to protect yourself. I’m not trying to sound hippy… but I think you might take a look at that idea. You know it won’t work. So why did it go thru your head??”
I was thinking about what you wrote, and yeah while it was just a joke, it isn’t being vulnerable. I think it’s just ego protection. I think it’s putting yourself out on the line then getting stomped. No fun. So I joke. I don’t think I’d ever really say that, but now I’m thinking even that type of thinking isn’t healthy. Better to be genuine and risk the blow out.
“This is who I am. And I like what you have going on. And I’m gonna look you in the eyes and let you know… and I know that means I’m a little extra open and raw… and that might mean getting blown out is extra rough… but so be it.”
wow, excellent comment, and excellent exchange.